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About SMGv1
Here's the deal: I'm married, and I love my wife. She loves me. We're not getting divorced. She realized that she is asexual. We mutually decided that a non-monogamous marriage was the most immediately reasonable way to go. We are a typical married couple, except that there is no longer any sex, ever. (Which, if you believe television sitcoms, is also pretty typical.)
...But I'm not okay with just sex/play partners/whatever. For whatever reason, I'm wound tightly enough that I want/need all of the entanglements that come with a relationship in order to have sexual satisfaction, because it's not just about sex/play; it's also the intimacy that comes with sex/play with someone you love. Also, anorgasmia. Shitty, but true.
I think that bi-amory is a more accurate descriptor than polyamory.
My wife knows all of this. She knows that I'm seeing other people. She's mostly okay with it (as okay as someone that is essentially monogamous can be). She's not interested in meeting every single person I date, but if I find someone that I'm serious about she will want to meet them. ...And then we go from there on an ad hoc basis.
Labels make things easier for people to understand, but I don't think that there's a real label for what I'm searching (poorly; more like flailing around wildly in the dark for that one mosquito you heard buzzing around your ear) for: secondary isn't correct at all, but my wife is my primary. I think the most realistic would be co-primary.
BREAK
Every so often, someone will ask me what my damage is, because they can't quite get a grasp on who I am, or why. The above is a pretty good start.
BREAK
I have participated in pain rituals (esp. suspensions) and began getting involved in mild S/M previously, before meeting my wife and getting married a decade ago. I'm strongly interested in BDSM, but my experience is sharply limited; I'm interested in both giving and receiving. I'm actively seeking an instructor.
Kinbaku/shibari looks fascinating. Having seen it live, I've even more interested. However, I have more of an interest in *functional* bondage; there's something great about tying a willing woman um, slowly contorting her into ever less comfortable positions, and then, finally, fucking and using her any way I want (which, in turn, is how this hypothetical partner wishes to be used).
But, as I said, my experience has been fairly limited so far.
My biggest single "kink" at this time is stigmatophilia: piercings, tattoos, brands, scarification, implants, grey-legal surgical modifications, and nearly any other significant intentional non-mainstream modification to the body for aesthetic purposes. While I have minimal tattoo work done, I currently have 32 (33?) piercings, of which 14(15?) are genital, sternum implants, a mostly closed-up split tongue, visible facial piercings, a meatotomy, etc., with FSM-knows how many removed piercings over the years. Essentially, I'm livin' the stigmatophilia lifestyle.
Aside from that, I'm willing to at least try most things, aside from shit, piss or furries. |
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