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out and about today trying to mask all pain and stress with fun. Its been a long couple years and i don't feel like i will ever get of this bad roller coaster ride. |
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A Slave's Creed
"I will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits, and experience. I realize that failing to do so will not only prevent my Master and I from having the best experience possible, but can also lead to physical and emotional harm. I will not try to manipulate my Master. I will not push to make a scene go the way I feel it should. I will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not accustomed to or comfortable with and expanding my limits.
I will continue to grow as a slave and as a human being. I will accept the responsibility of discovering what pleases my Master, and will do my best to fulfill His wishes and desires. I will not allow myself to be harmed or abused, I know that slave does not equal "doormat".
I will be courteous and helpful to my fellow slaves, I will share my knowledge and experiences with others in the hope that they will learn from where I have been I will take the time to help those new to the scene start out on the correct path.
I will be responsive to my Master, I will not try to hide what my mind and body are feeling so that I may assist Him in His responsibilities as my Authority, I know that Dominants are not telepathists, and will not expect my Master to know thought or feelings which I do not share. I will never think myself a "better" slave because I choose to submit on a different level than another. I will not be boastful of experiences I have had as a slave. I know that my actions reflect upon my Master, and will do my best to help others see him in a positive way, I will not intentionally embarress or displease my Master.
Above all, I will wear my title of slave with honor, I will never cause others to think that being slave means to be weak or sub~human. I will take pride in who and what I am, and will never show myself in a negative way. "
The only things that needs to be added to this is that my submission is a gift it is never taken it is given with love and devotion. |
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ok i am better today so if you wanna talk to me thats cool thank you all for respecting my wishes and leaving me alone. I still don't wanna talk about last night but just know it was bad i am do not wanna go through it again and i learned a big lesson. Other then that the subject is closed. Thank you. |
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bad night don't wanna talk about it don't contact me for the rest of the night at all please. |
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Found out today my friend is dead. He is never coming back. He overdosed i feel numb. I miss him so much. R.I.P. Dj I love you! |
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Valentines day offically suck. All i did all day was work. I did chores then went ot my job at 4:30 and worked til 10:30 and i saw alot of stupid couples. The i tired asking a guy i work with out and got turned down so now i just feel like an idiot. This is why i don't ask vanilla guys out those relationships fail but he was cute and i thought it couldn't hurt to try. I want to bang my head against a wall. Oh well maybe next year. |
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Sub Journal 02/08/09
Woke up at 12 again i love sleeping in lol its the best but then again i went to bed at 6 the night before. I then made a very yummy but bad for me breakfast of cheesy eggs bacon and mayo on bread as a sandwich i love that stuff. Then since my best friend cancelled on me i decide to do nothing all day i napped and watched youtube videos and it was a blissfully quiet day. Now i plan to spend most of my night if not all of it talking to mastermdvadc. Tomorrow should be a much more fun and not as boring of a day though. |
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Sub journal 02/07/09
Another really really boring day. Woke up at 12 so i got alot of sleep and i got to eat pancakes which were so yummy i loved it. Then the rents called me at 1 to tell me they were gonna get me and we were gonna go out and have lunch so we went to Pasta Blitz which is nice cause i love italian. I had a panini which was called the Godfather it was excellent. it was grilled chicken mozzerella and tomatoes plus it came with french fries and i love love love french fries. Yes my day was so borning i am rambling on about food but it was all i had to do today. So then at 2:30 my job calls me to say i don't have to come in cause they have too many people working. Which pissed me off cause then i could have gone to VA and had something to do. So since i didn't go to VA i just sat at home and talked to people online and baked shortbread and made home-made ice cream and home-made fruit punch. Then i proceeded to go up to my room and read a short story i love and wait until i was tired. |
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Sub journal 02/07/09
Another really really boring day. Woke up at 12 so i got alot of sleep and i got to eat pancakes which were so yummy i loved it. Then the rents called me at 1 to tell me they were gonna get me and we were gonna go out and have lunch so we went to Pasta Blitz which is nice cause i love italian. I had a panini which was called the Godfather it was excellent. it was grilled chicken mozzerella and tomatoes plus it came with french fries and i love love love french fries. Yes my day was so borning i am rambling on about food but it was all i had to do today. So then at 2:30 my job calls me to say i don't have to come in cause they have too many people working. Which pissed me off cause then i could have gone to VA and had something to do. So since i didn't go to VA i just sat at home and talked to people online and baked shortbread and made home-made ice cream and home-made fruit punch. Then i proceeded to go up to my room and read a short story i love and wait until i was tired. |
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sub journal 02/06/09
Ugh not the most fun day. Woke up at 7 so my mom could drop me of at school even though class wasn't til 12. So i talked with people searched youtube and relaxed. At 12 i went to class which was quite interesting we listened to two piano majors preform for us and i must say they were brilliant and i enjoyed their playing alot. I then returned to my friends for another borning 2 hours until i got picked up and relaxed at home and talked to my best friend and at 6 i fell asleep and woke up at 8 and talked to people til around 11 or 12. The time ran together and i dont remember when i fell asleep. All in all it was highly boring and i wish i had more stuff to do.
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Sub Journal 02/05/09
Woke up at 11 after sleeping for 12 hours it was great i felt very good. Watched some tv ate food and chilled with my dog. I didn't do any chores cause i felt lazy. Talk to mastermdvadc for a little but then he had to leave and i took a shower after that and got dressed for work. Worked for 2 hours which sucked that means very little money for that day. Since my dad's book club meets in the bookstore near my work i just went and sat and read from 7 til 9. I read a couple manga and books on wiccan spells so i could have some new ones to do. Finally got home at 9 something and then got online and checked the emails and all that and talked to my friend dani while i read more manga not a very productive day but a day none the less. |
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Sub Journal 02/03/2009
Today woke up at 11 and ate some lunch and took out the dog. Then just relaxed and watched tv til 1 and got dressed and left for work. I had to walk a mile and a half to get to my bus stop cause the rents couldn't drive me to work and took the bus at 2 to the mall and transfered to the yellow line at 3 then got to work at 3:30 even though my shift isn't til 4:30 so i sat at work and talked to my co-workers til i clocked in and then worked til 7:30 and since the rents were in b-more i had a co-worker take me home so i got home at 8 and now i am relaxing and trying to decide what to eat for dinner while waiting for either my best friend or mastermdvadc to call me. I am also a bit tired but i really just want to do something.
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