The black is the 'master' who wrote me resently to tell me how big his brain is. The red is my response. Now, forgive me please for my last reply not being EXACTLY what I typed him in return as I can't find that e-mail. Just had to block a dork - even though he was still going to my bulk mail as energy like that just sucks bad wind.... lol

"not all Mne are boys so you might want to differinciate those to whom you are speaking.good luck and good day"

"Um - no. All men are boys".

"so all women are girls

All you're doing is pointing out that you are a small minded unsmiling jerk with no sense of humor.

Do go away."

"And all you are doing is proving you are  a 100 %  FAKE"

"He who smelt it dealt it – fuck off".

Last week, I went from state to state looking at the female subs/slaves on-line... I was amazed at the low number of actual active accounts.

I'm going to go throught the tops soon and see what the ratio is. For some reason, I don't think I'm going to be surprised.

Watched the Tudors, Season 2 until 9am this morning. Boy, talk about missing your Honey!

My daughter is leaving today for two weeks and three days before coming home for the 4th.  I've been awake since 2:30.  Gonna miss my girl!!!

I'm just and ordinary person with
ordinary desires. 

Summer is here and DAMN it's hot!!!

Someone asked me how I would respond if they needed correcting while my daughter was around.  My reply, although much shorter, went something like this...


Imagine... breakfast is due on the table at 7am, Mon-Fri.  This morning, not a good morning for you.  You just could NOT make yourself get up.  Rushing through your other morning routines, you come to breakfast and everything simply falls apart.  Instead of taking the situation in stride and finally deciding to laugh about it, you slam a pan down on the stove and curse.  Now, now, now.  No need for that type of attitude!

It is a beautiful day and I'm feeling happy and life is good and WHAM, a loud obnoxious sound pierces my brain as I'm prepping my daughter for her day at school.

Personally, a quiet smooth morning gets me off to a GREAT day.  Sadly, I am disturbed.  Fully aware that your morning hasn't been the best morning ever and your frustration is hitting the limit, I decide it is time to remind you that you are in my presence to please me.  Pleasing me means having the ability to see a bad situation as a learning experience, a way to laugh at the frailty of humans, or laugh because, G-D it, no matter what happens, it is just gonna suck for a minute or two.

Sigh.  I'm extremely disappointed in that loud interrupting sound.  MUST I remind you that I like a QUIET morning?  "Daughter dearest", I say sweetly, please brush your teeth, I need to speak with _____ privately for a moment."  Off she goes.  "Now... little slave cunt, I know you're having a rough morning and I honestly sympathize." as I put my hand up your blouse to twist a nipple... not toooo viscously.  "Now, step back and bend over, ass to me.  Good girl.  Let's see, there they are.  Office paper clamps.  You know, I knew they would come in handy."  I lift your skirt and pop one on the inner right thigh.  "Oh, sweeti, I know it hurts.  It's just a reminder.  Mmmh, yes, ssshhh.  Now, only one more right here."  I place a second one on the upper left thigh, pull down your skirt, pat you gently on the bum and tell you to continue your work.

Child goes off to school, it has been twenty-five minutes now.  You're finishing up your assigned tasks and I stop you before you are completely done... (evil grin).  It is now time to take those painful clamps off those pretty thighs.  Grabbing your hair, I throw you on the bed, stomach down.  Spreading your legs with a knee, I raise your skirt.  Teasing the clamps with one hand, while holding your head up by your hair, you whimper.  Finally releasing them, one and then the other, I stroke the painful pinched skin, causing more pain on the raw nerves.  All the while reminding you verbally how you failed, how next time you can do better and how this time, it saddened me to have to remind you.  A constant stream of compliance spills from your lips with promises for a better result next time. 

I believe you. 

Poor thing, this was your first mistake and you're new to slavery. 

We can't all be perfect. 

…but damn it all, you didn’t finish your tasks… now I must spank you for that too! (very evil grin).

Males - subs or Doms - You're blocked and go to bulk... so, um... well - don't expect a reply!  Unless I'm contacting you out of respect as another human being.  Otherwise - hehehe - I'm gonna have fun being viscious to your ego.  AMEN!

If you are a young woman, under the age of 35, slender to 'athletic', no children, less than 5'7" and love to please in an intellectual, spiritual, physical, sexual way - please write... as I am looking for... 

No substance abuse.  D & D free.  Loves and finds enrichment in pain being applied for pleasure and punishment and seeks to serve with heart, body and soul.  Willing to be trained.  List of "absolute NO's" is short, very short.  Open to exploration is a MUST. 

I am rather sadistic.  Don't let the pretty face, politeness and real life perspective, fool you. 

I have a Master whom I love, cherish and care for - be willing to serve Him, either gently or not, if I so desire you deserve his attentions.  (very sexual, very sexy, very 52, very much women walk into doors looking back at him, very loving, caring adoreable, takes care of me, loves me.... sigh - I'm over the moon about my Beloved Master!!!)

I will cherish you.  Care for you.  Ignore you. Pleasure you.  Teach you.  Learn from you.  Create pain on the physical, emotional, mental, spiritual levels as your journey into being my slave progresses.  I'm looking for serious applicants only.  Long term relationship applicants only.  You will be my personal assistant/nanny/maid/cook and (most fun when the little one is gone...) my sex slut.  My child will NOT be involved.  My slave will need to work at least p/t outside the home.

I am kind, loving and exacting.  If you're full of shit, you'll smell eventually and I'll write you off as simply a waste of time.  In no other way do you affect me.

So... if you're interested in involving yourself with my family and I... I look forward to hearing from you.

Mountainphoenix's slthaven,
Mistress Phoenix

Because I am a Domme to MY slave I won't label myself a Switch here on CM.  I'm not looking to submit to anyone other than my Beloved. 
and the photos of me blonde - I'm no longer blonde - I just think they are great photos of me :)  And the bike is a friends.

Why do so many Dominant Males check out my profile?  I thought they're on here to look for a slave or submissive.  Perverts!!!! LOL!!!

:)~

She went.  Good luck to her.  Hello in FL and NY!

Hugs and have a beautiful day!

Adapting to slavery

The following are some suggestions to make learning to become a slave easier:

1) Listen, observe and ask questions. Since there are new rules and norms that may be unfamiliar to you, listen carefully to verbal communication and observe non-verbal communication carefully and try to put them in proper context. Take note of all things that please and displease your Mistress. If possible, observing others is a great way to learn.

You should not assume that you always know what is going on or that you understand what you hear or see. In order to be an effective slave, you must know what is expected of you. Failing to ask questions is often a mistake a new trainee makes. COMMUNICATION IS KEY TO SLAVERY.

2) Don’t overly evaluate or judge events or overly criticize yourself. You are learning a new way of doing and seeing things. Comparison to the vanilla way a relationship works does not always apply to a BDSM relationship. A slave is owned as property and as such must obey sometimes without judging the command given to her. Your Mistress is to become your key source of evaluation and judgment of the correctness of your actions.

3) Be curious. To experience slavery and to learn from it, it is important to be open to new experiences. The more you are willing to explore, the more you will learn.

4) Expect some anxiety and frustration. Learning to function as a slave is not easy and it is natural to feel some anxiety and frustration. If you recognize that these are normal parts of the experience, you may be able to deal with them more effectively. Openness about your feelings will also help. Learning slavery involves not only learning your Mistress’s rules, but it also includes learning new habits and altering some old habits. Learning new habits takes a repetitive effort.

5) Become involved. The more you put into the experience of becoming a slave the more you will learn from it. Take the time to study the rules your Mistress has established for you and practice the skills she requires of you. Don’t expect your Mistress to directly guide your every learning process; actively make efforts to learn and improve your skills on your own.

6) Be open. In slave training you will reveal your thoughts and emotions to your Mistress. Revealing your inner most thoughts and feelings is difficult for most people. Prepare yourself for this level of openness.

7) Accept criticism. You will be expected to change old behaviors and attitudes. You may very well be challenged in your actions, attitudes and beliefs. As a slave, your behavior is controlled by your Mistress. Therefore, you can expect him to be critical of your present behavior and expect change.

8) Expect change. Your Mistress will re-educate you and re-orient you to fit her needs. This will require changes in your behavior, emotions and thoughts. Prepare yourself for change. Training a slave is often called a molding process. Expect to be molded as your Mistress desires.

9) Be devoted. The importance of devotion to your Mistress can’t be understated. It provides the foundation for future growth and is a source of pride for your Mistress.

10) Expect and accept obedience. Be prepared to learn to be obedient. A slave’s duty is to obey her Mistress. Often, in the beginning, you will be pushed. Obedience is a state of mind, therefore, it is learned. Obedience provides a foundation for more advances in learning and improvement of your skills. Practice being consistent in your obedience.

‘My thoughts on slavery’ y Master Stuart’s pet

Ok first things first. My name is pet and I am a collared slave. I have always known what kind of relationship I wanted. I have always known that I wanted to be owned. What I didn’t have a clue about was how to meet the kind of man, who could give me what I needed. The one time I came close I couldn’t trust the person enough to give myself fully. So it crashed and burned. Then the man who is now my Master came back in to my life. We had had a relationship a long time ago that ended suddenly. It hurt me deeply at the time but he was, and is, the only man I have ever trusted and loved.   

My Master has been a Dom for a number of years. He introduced me to the idea of being his sub very gently. I for my part jumped at the chance. The relationship I had always wanted, with the man I had always loved. It was heaven. The speed that my submission developed and the speed I completed my formal training surprised us both. My Master says I am the best sub he has ever trained. A comment that still makes me glow with pride whenever I think about it.  But it was the depth of my submission that really got the “gob smacked of the year award” I went down faster than the Titanic.  

When I was deciding whether or not to become a sub my Master told me to read everything I could on the subject. So I hit the Internet. Some of the sites I found where very good, some where complete dross. And some just gave me nightmares.  

One site in particular kinda freaked me out. It was a site about ‘internal enslavement’. This site detailed how to completely enslave your sub without her knowing what you where doing. It was cold and calculating, talking about the sub as if she where a thing and not a person. To my mind it was informing Dom’s how to steal their subs. The word consent didn’t get a mention anywhere in the whole article.  

The conversation with my Master after reading it, however, was to come back to bite me on the bum a couple of months later. I told him that that could never happen to me. I would notice if I began to slip that far.  I told him I was more that happy being a sub and would never become a slave.  

“Ha! ”  3 months later I found myself thinking  ‘hmm this slave thing really appeals to me. I must explain that my Master’s ‘thing’, as he puts it, is pyschological domination.  He is a kind and gentle Master. Who uses pain only as a reward. His knowledge and insight, in respects of my mental well-being, astound me almost daily.  He was able to see what I could not.  

I was so close to giving myself to him completely, and I didn’t even realise what was happening. So he made me aware. He instructed me to consider the step I was about to take, very carefully.   

At my Masters behest I hit the net again and did a more thorough search. This time on ‘consensual slavery’. What I found was truly wonderful. Intelligent articulate women saying all the things I was thinking and feeling.  It was a kinda ‘light bulb moment’. I read what these self-confessed slaves had written and agreed with almost every word. I had finally found out who I was. I was a slave. The only problem now was to work out just how the hell I got here. My journal helped greatly in getting the steps I went thru clear in my head. I have also been able to voice my opinions, when asked, to my Master.  Who has now told me to write them down. 

So here I am. Sat at my computer with only a dancing paper clip for company. Wondering just how the hell I can sound as intelligent and articulate as the authors of all the wonderful articles I have read. 

Now to the reason I am writing this.  

1)       My Master told me to.

2)        As I said, some of the sites I went to were dross. The information was misleading at best. And some of it was even down right dangerous. 

These are just my views on becoming a slave.

The first thing I will say is it isn’t easy. The best definition I can come up with is it’s like trying to nail smoke to a wall. Even if you are a natural there are some things that will go against everything you think and feel. Handing yourself completely 100% to another, 24/7 may sound like heaven, and in most respects it is. But the flip side to that is you are handing yourself 100% to another, 24/7.  Confused? 

One of the things I had trouble with was the whole definition thing. When did you stop being a sub and start being a slave? I now think it is all about what you accept and when you submit. A sub has greater choice in the ‘what and when’ bit. She accepts submission but she sets the limits in regards to what she will and will not do. Her Dom, in turn accepts the limits she sets. As a sub, I allowed my Dom to take control for as long as I wanted. But the power balance returned to 50/50 when the playing was over. 

As slave I accept only obedience. It is my Master who sets the limits. I have handed over complete control, permanently. Obedience has become my primary focus. My happiness now comes from serving my Master.  

Absolute trust and communication are the most important elements in a Master/slave relationship. When you hand over complete control to your Master, trust is the only thing you have left to call your own. The only way trust is first built then maintained is with honest communication. Learning to talk to your Master, answer his questions honestly and fully can be uncomfortable. Telling my Master all the things he wanted to know was hard for me. Some of the thoughts and emotions he wanted me to talk about made me feel very uncomfortable. With his help I was able to work through why they made me feel the way they did.  And then, lay them to rest.  As I said my emotional well-being is very important to my Master. But my Master needs to know me completely, the good and the bad. If he is keep me safe and well. To this aim my Master reads my journal. He says it gives him an insight into what is going on in my head. It helps him to ensure my needs are being met. It also gives him valuable clues to how happy I am in my enslavement. Though I have to say right now, do not use your journal to leave clues for your Master. Topping from the bottom or trying to direct your Dom will only end up in punishment. If you are going to let your Master read your journal just be open and honest. Trust that your Master will see what he needs to see and act upon it only if he sees fit. See it all comes back to trust.  

Complete surrender is hard. I won’t kid you about that. For me the ability, and desire to surrender, came from the trust and belief I have in my Masters love and ability to keep me safe. I am now at the point where the only thing I have left to surrender is my ability for free thought. My ability to leave my Master having long gone. Here is another spot the difference between a sub and a slave thing.  

A sub can walk away. For a slave, the thought of leaving her Master becomes unthinkable. Something on the same level as eating her own spleen, or selling her kids. Nothing prepared me for the shock of this realization. One thing I had said from the start of our relationship was that if my Master ever slept with another girl, the relationship was over.  Luckily my Master has accepted my need to be in a wholly monogamous relationship as a valid need and not a want. So he will respect it. But 4 weeks ago he asked me how I would demonstrate my inability to leave him. And asked me to think of the worst thing I would go thru to do so. The big shock came when I realized that even if he did sleep with another girl I wouldn’t, couldn’t leave him.  

The more cynical amongst you will be thinking that would give my Master the go ahead to do just that. But as I keep saying my mental well-being is important to my Master. So I trust that this will never happen.  Now the only thing left, as I said, is my ability for free thought. This one will take some doing.  

For as long as I can remember I have had an analytical mind. I over think things and send myself round in circles. My Master wants to direct my thoughts and remove my need to make decisions. This is a direct question to the would be slave.  

Will you be happy giving your Master this amount of control?  

This will be asked of you. For most people the chance to revert back to the almost child like state this suggests would sound like heaven. Who wouldn’t want to give up the need to think about bills and the mortgage? For a short time. Then the desire to regain their independence would take over. For a slave there will be no chance to regain the control once it has been given up. 

 Your Master, if he is a good one will make sure you will only lose the confidence in your decisions, but not take away the ability to make them. My thoughts have not been entirely my own for some time now. My Master has ordered me not to think deeply about our relationship. As he gains more and more control of my thoughts I will be like an intruder in my own head. I am trying so hard to comply with my Masters wishes. It is so hard but with practice I know I will be able to comply. And I thank him from the bottom of my heart for the permission to think as deeply as I need to for the purpose of this article.  

One important thing to remember is, although you have no right to an opinion your Master will, on occasion, ask you for one. You must comply fully with his request. Open and honest communication is vital. I can’t stress this enough. Though even after your opinion has been given, the final say rests, quite rightly, with your Master. 

Just a quick word about boundaries. You still have them even when you make the decision to become a slave. The hard boundary soft boundary thing stops. But some boundaries are just absolute. Your Master could not, for instance, order you to go and rob a bank. Anything that would put you outside the law or contravene a closely held moral stance should not be obeyed. On one site I saw a Dom had written how he ordered his slave to work as a prostitute. He gave two reasons for this. 1 she had not enjoyed, to his satisfaction, being made to sleep with four of his friends. So needed to be put in her place And 2 he was short of cash that week. This is not the action of a Master. This man was an abuser of women and was not worthy of the title Dom.  

For me any order that would affect my ability to care for my children or anything that would put me outside the law are deal breakers. If my Master ever did either of those I would leave. Now you are scanning back up the page. To paragraph 7, thinking ah but didn’t she say she couldn’t leave her Master? Yes I did. My Master and myself decided this jointly. Like I have said, my Master is very, very good at the psychological side of domination. The second he does one of the aforementioned deal breakers I get everything back. My confidence in my decisions. My ability to see a life without him and my ability to leave him. I can hear your eyebrows rising right now. You are asking how can he do this? The honest answer is, I don’t know. But I do know he can.  

This is the man who implanted subliminally in my head a cheesy love song, it was ‘cupid draw back your bow’, and then have it stick in my head for a couple of days, before telling him about it. All this was done without my knowledge. If he can do that I do not doubt he can give me back my ability to leave. All I want to say about boundaries is:

You are a slave. You are not above the law and neither is you Master.  

There is one thing that will always floor a new sub. Masters do mess up. They have feet of clay just like the rest of us. The good Masters are separated from the bad ones by how they deal with this fact. A bad Master will not admit he is wrong. Any hitches or problems will be attributed to the slave or sub. Any fuck up’s will not be acknowledged. A good Master will, however, know his limitations and accept that from time to time he will make a mistake. Anything that harm’s the slave will result in an apology and loving aftercare. Remember, you deserve nothing less. Ask what would happen if your, prospective, Master made a mistake. If he say’s ‘ he never makes them’ run for the hills and don’t look back. 

Anything worth having is worth working for. My granddad told me that. I’m not sure he meant it to be used in a M/s contest but it works. My Master often commends my devotion to my submission. But to be honest, you wont get far without it. The changes you will have to make to become a slave will not happen over night. Nor will they happen by themselves. This degree of submission has to be worked at. But if you have a good Master you will have all the motivation you will ever need. Your Masters needs come before your own. This is another, according to some, difference between subs and slaves.  

As a sub my thoughts where, roughly, 70/30 on my Masters needs. This, after a while, didn’t feel right to me. As a sub you have the right to consider your own needs. If you make the decision to become a slave that will all change. Like I have said before, my happiness comes from serving my Master. He alone gives me all I need. With him I feel loved, safe and cared for. And I in turn belong to him, mind, body soul and spirit. The good thing is devotion and commitments go both ways.  

The little understood fact of a relationship like ours is that just as I am bound to my Master he, in turn is bound just as completely to me. His commitment to me is as complete as mine is to him. My collar is more binding and more permanent than any wedding ring could ever be. Master pointed something out to me a few months ago. Just as he has removed my ability to leave him. He has, voluntarily, given up his right to leave me. This may not be true of most Masters. But my Master thinks it would be grossly unfair to disrespect my enslavement and my gift to him by not treating our relationship as something precious and valuable. I will be eternally grateful to him for this. 

In amongst all the big changes you are making, please don’t loose sight of the small things. There will be many wonderful things that will happen to you. Things that, on first inspection, might not seem like very much. But the more you think on them, the more you will see them for what they are.  One thing that will always stay with me is the night my Master gave me my cushion. It was a special moment for me. Sitting at my Masters feet always felt right. This was not something that my Master ordered or demanded of me. It was my decision - one, I have to say, he liked greatly. It meant all the more to him because the choice was mine. For me it was a small gift, but freely given. Buying me my cushion showed he accepted and valued it, and that he was concerned about my comfort.

If you do decide consensual slavery is for you I urge you to read all you can before you make the leap.  Forewarned is forearmed, as they say. Talk to your Master, if he is worth anything he will make sure you know what you are getting in to. That you are not getting carried away with some romanticised ideal of what slavery is. This is one of those things, which once said cannot be unsaid. My Master would not accept me as his slave until he was sure. First sure I fully understood what being a 24/7 real time slave would be like. Secondly, until he was sure I really wanted it and would be as happy as I currently was as his sub. You have to be sure it is for you. But if you do decide it is for you then may you be as happy and loved as I am now.

On the 29-1-05 I became my Masters slave. On the 12-2-05 I was given my permanently locked silver collar. There is no way for anyone, including my Master, to remove this collar without the use of bolt cutters. Both of these events will remain the happiest memories I will ever have, and will carry them in my heart and mind forever.

Domination versus Domineering

What is the difference, what should you know

 Written by fawn{G}, loving slave of Master Greg 

There is a fine line in determining abuse and play at times in a Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationship, or even in playtime. Often an onlooker may see abuse where one whom is schooled in control may see a lesson. So how does one tell the difference, where do we draw the line between safe, sane and consensual and control reinforced with pain, fear, and neglect.

Webster defines the two terms thusly:

Dominate  v.t. rule, control, sway; of heights, to overlook. –vi. Control, be the most powerful or influential member or part of something. –dominant a. –domination  n. –domineer’ v.i. to act imperiously, tyrannize.

Therefore one can surmise, to dominate means to control, to influence, to domineer is to act irresponsibly in a tyrannical way.

Abuse can be defined as any activity that is damaging to another, whether mentally, physically, or spiritually. 

There are those who crave pain as a way of giving of themselves, or an outpouring or release of emotions, while others cannot tolerate pain, it frightens them, fills them with fear to the point they withdraw completely, hiding inside themselves. Here we have two sides of the same coin, in one case, a good flogging to the point of tears would be beneficial, while to the other example, this act could push the subject into a deep depressive state including and not limited to the breaking of sacred trust.

Either subject would be excellent material for domination and unfortunately domineering. Case in point if a Dom beat His property every day for His sheer enjoyment, and she was not harmed, then its not abuse. But if it did harm her, pushed her beyond her limitations of fear or pain, to the point of damaging her mentally or physically, then it becomes abusive.

Many activities enjoyed in BDSM scenes, or training sessions can be used to either dominate or domineer, it is the intent behind the exercise that defines it. If it is used to push the subject, stretch her limitations, broaden her scope of experience and thereby strengthen her trust, it is most assuredly domination. On the other hand, if it is used to break the subject, beat her down and destroy her mentally, then this is very clearly domineering abusive use of the subject.

So how can we, as submissives, be assured we will not be domineered but receive the domination we so desperately crave. The answer is really quite simple.

To begin with, we must define, what is a Master.

Once again we will look to Webster’s artful definitions; 

mast’er n. one who employs another, head of a household; owner; one in control; captain of a merchant ship; teacher; artist of great reputation –v.t. overcome; acquire knowledge of, or skill in, -mast’erful a. imperious, self-willed, mast’erly n. skillfully done, -mast’ery n. victory, authority

A Master dominates, He owns property with responsibility, He teaches, supports, nurtures, and skillfully creates the servant He wants by molding her into what He wishes, not destroying the essence, but embellishing and polishing the raw diamond till it shines brightly. There is nothing beautiful nor valuable in a brow beaten animal, scared of it shadow, moving through the paces pounded in its head in utter fear of its owner.

A domineering person will try to get the same results but with force and frustration. Domineering is breaking the animal down to a shadow of an existence for the sheer enjoyment of being in charge without regard for his property’s wellbeing. This person cannot control himself much less master another. His ability to master will reflect upon all aspects of his life, one just has to look to see the proof.

There are spoiled children trying to wear grown up clothes in every walk of life, it is up to our common sense to recognize who can be trusted with the keys to our bodies and minds and who can not. Once the keys are given, it is much harder to implement this philosophy. Know the Man WELL before giving this power to them. This cannot be emphasized too much or too often. To take a collar is to give yourself, body, mind, and soul, to another. A collar is for life, a collar means this person has the power to either make or break you submissives, you are giving them that power by accepting it. Better make damn sure they are responsible enough to care for the property before you hand them the keys.

To often have we read the stories of girls ending up in a hospital from the abuse of a Dom they met online, or a gorean Master they thought was for real. Wake up! Smell the coffee! You are your only defense in this situation. This is your last decision you will ever make as a submissive, make it wisely, it determines the rest of your life!

In any TPE relationship, there is the danger of abuse, but we submissives have the power to choose our Dominants carefully, and must exercise great caution when doing so. Our beloved Dominants have the power to make their property sparkle with brightness and shine with the clarity of love, devotion, and excel in personal growth further then they have ever known, Dominants also have the power to break these charges down to nothing, it is up to the Dominant to exercise their power with dignity and honor and respect.

Make that decision soberly this girl employs you, serve well, and live happy. The life of a slave should be filled with great joy and happiness, her sense of freedom and expression greater then most will ever fathom. Don’t sell yourself short, you are worth it, you deserve it.

So you want to be a slave?

The Realities by miria hunter

I decided to write this article because I have seen so many submissives come into the lifestyle expecting everything to be dream-like and perfect. I don't wish to ruin anyone's dreams, or turn them from the activity, but what I wish to do is to explain how things really are.

Being a slave can be, and is for me, a wonderful life. It's everything I wanted it to be. It is also more than I ever expected, and had someone explained the realities to me prior to my decision, it would have made my transition so much easier. For the purpose of this article, I am addressing issues related to being a 24/7 slave. These comments are from my viewpoint, which is that of a female slave with a male Master. By no means do I wish to exclude Domme's or male slaves. For them, I cannot comment from personal experience. This is just my view from a real-time experience.

First, there are a few things you need to discover for and about yourself. Do you wish to be in this type relationship 24/7? Perhaps you only wish to be in it during the scenes. Maybe you want to role-play at only during certain times. There are many ways this activity can be done, but you have to figure out what is right for you.

Second, you need to learn to be honest with yourself. Figure out what you will and will not do, and what is a "maybe". Search inside yourself for what you really want, and when you find it, be honest to anyone you talk to. Don't agree to something long-term that you know you will not be able accomplish. Ask yourself some hard questions. The rest of this article will give you aspects to contemplate so you can base your decisions on reality, and not someone else's dreams of how it should be.

Are you prepared to surrender 100% control of your life to someone else? 24/7 slaves do this. Role-playing would mean entering into this relationship only for the time agreed upon that the Master would have the total control. Once the scene is over, everything returns to normal.

Do you enjoy country music? Maybe you love Rock and Roll. Consider this. The Master whose collar you will eventually wear may only like classical or another type of music that you don't enjoy. Are you prepared to give up those selections and only listen to His music? This type sacrifice can apply to many other things you currently enjoy. For myself, I love old love songs of any type, and my Master is into Hard Rock. Because of His preferences, I rarely get to listen to my songs. But, when I am a good girl, at times, He does permit me to listen to my choice of music, as long as I get my assigned tasks and chores done. Note, I said, "permitted to". Something as simple as listening to the radio is a reward for me. It is not a given that you will be permitted to enjoy even this little pleasure whenever you wish. These limitations can apply to many areas of your life such as TV, choices of food or friends, just about anywhere anything!

Is there a certain style of clothes you love? Certain colors and scents you wouldn't be caught without? If your Master doesn't approve of them, you may be wearing a totally different style with colors you never would have dreamed of. He may lay your clothes out for you every morning. Are you prepared to abide happily by His choices? If He asked you to wear something very skimpy to someplace simple like the grocery store, could you do this without hesitation? I am lucky in the fact that my Master lets me chose my own clothes most of the time. But at anytime, should He decide that He wants me to wear something else, I am to change immediately. Trust me, He does exercise this right. I have learned to always ask Him what He would like me to wear if we are going someplace special.

Are you prepared to change your hairstyle, length, or color to please your Master? All of these will belong to Him once you accept your collar as will everything else that once belonged to you. You will no longer own anything. From the time you take His collar, everything will be His. It will no longer be "your" car or "your" clothes, but "His", on loan to you as He sees fit. If He should so choose, you will not be permitted to wear clothes at all. This will be HIS choice, not yours. Remember, you will have given up all rights to make these choices for yourself.

You have a favorite chair, or a certain way you like to sit or walk? Your Master will decide whether you sit on furniture or on the floor. He will have the say if you are to cross your legs, or sit with them spread wide-open. You will have to ask permission to even climb into bed, or sit on a chair. Most slaves are allowed a cushion on the floor that they do not need permission to sit upon, but very little else. You will even need permission to eat at the table with your Master.

It's been a long hard day at work. You get home and want nothing more than to relax in a tub and go to bed early. Well, you won't be able to. Being tired, ill, or just in a bad mood does not excuse you from your required tasks. You are still required to do them: prepare His meal, and go to bed when HE tells you to. Retiring for bed usually occurs at a set time, even if you are not ready to go. There will not be an "I am too tired" or "I don't feel well": nothing of the kind. Unless your Master has excused you from your tasks and chores, you will remain responsible for making sure His needs and wants are filled: no matter what. It is your job to inform your Master of your physical health status. One of your main jobs will be to take care of and protect, His possessions. You being the most prized one He owns. As long as you let your Master know how you are feeling, He will make sure that your tasks will be appropriate to your capabilities.

Many come into this lifestyle looking to be used sexually, to service their Master at His whim. They never consider other aspects. The main part of being a slave is to be of service to your Master, and not to be serviced for yourself. However, being readily available to Him at ALL times is also an unspoken expectation. The old excuse "not tonight dear, I have a headache" doesn't work in a D/s relationship. In order to provide Him pleasure, you must also express to Him the pleasure of the moment for you as well. NEVER make your Master feel this is a chore to you: something you would rather not do, but will only because you have to. If your Master tells you to do something, it will not be up to you to question Him. You will be required to respond with no questions asked. At a later time (if this is permitted in your relationship), you may ask Him for permission to speak on an equal level. If He gives permission, this will be your opportunity to ask your questions. However, it is important to ask in a way so as not to question His authority, but at the same time to satisfy your curiosity.

Do you feel being a slave is to be coerced: forced into servitude? Do you think you couldn't do this unless you were? Then think again. Slaves enter into this relationship of their own free will. This is not the day of forced slavery; it is a matter of choice. YOURS! You are the one who will decide to give over your power to your Master. You will be doing this, not because you are forced to obey, but because you need to. Yes, during the course of your relationship there will be times you will be forced to do something, but it will never be something that goes against who you are. Your Master may feel obeying this command will help you to grow into the best person you can be, or will help you break out of an inhibition you have.

How is your temper? Are you quick to fly off-of-the-handle when you are upset? Or are you laid back, accepting anything and everything, and then go off to sulk because your feelings were hurt? A Master does not wish to have a doormat for a slave nor does He desire to be told how things should be. Learning when and how to say things will become very important in your relationship. If you do not tell your Master when something is bothering you, then you have no right whatsoever to become upset. However wonderful and omnipotent He may seem, He is not a mind reader: unless you tell Him, He won't know. The key, as I said a moment ago, is in how you tell Him.

Your self-discipline is very important in this relationship. Do you tend to put things off until the last possible moment? You won't be able to do this when you are owned. There will be chores and tasks your Master will assign that He expects to be done in a timely fashion set by Him, not by you. Your Master's wants and needs will be put before your own. Self-discipline is similar to self-control. Your ability to follow complete assignments made by your Master will be very important. As a slave, you will need to be able to control your own actions well enough to be able to remain within the boundaries set for you by Him. If He says you can't do something, simply, you can't. Doing it anyway, and not telling Him doesn't make it right. In the case of a Master/slave relationship, what you don't know CAN hurt you, as well as the relationship you have worked so hard to build. Even a simple "white lie" can destroy the trust so necessary to really establish this type relationship.

As to wants and needs of your own: do you know the difference between the two? If not, I strongly recommend you figure them out before entering into servitude. Sometimes the two are hard to distinguish, but it will become important that you do so. Your Master will ensure all your "needs" are taken care of, but the "wants" will be His to allow or not, as He sees fit. Needs are the necessities of life that are required in order for us to remain mentally and physically healthy. They allow us to grow emotionally and spiritually. If you can survive without something, then it is a want. Wants are usually given as a reward for good behavior.

In order to be a slave, there will be many things you have to learn to accept within yourself and adapt to. Your primary purpose in life will be to see to your Masters pleasure (both mentally and physically) in any manner He should desire. In order to do this, you will have to learn your Master well. Find out what pleases and displeases Him. By this, I do not mean just sexually. You will learn that sex is but a small part of your relationship. Learn to anticipate His every need and desire without being pushy. His needs and desires will encompass intellectual stimulation, physical pleasure, emotional support, and many other things unique to Him. Remember - physical does not equal sexual. Physical pleasure may include, but is not limited to, touch, favorite foods, textures, clothing, and colors as examples. It will be your job to make sure His physical pleasures are met in everyway. Think of the five senses, and make His environment pleasing to all of them. Never forget - the most pleasing thing in His environment should be you.

As His slave, it will be up to you to figure out what pleases your Master. He should not have to ask constantly for the basic things - you should have learned them. If His glass is empty, quietly and unobtrusively refill it. Remember, you are doing this for His pleasure not your own. Just because He does not notice and praise you doesn't mean you are doing it wrong. Look at His smile. Is He comfortable? If He looks happy and content, then you have done well, and should bask in His content. Always remember that you do this for Him and not for your own satisfaction. Your happiness should come from serving Him and His being happy.

As I said in the beginning of this article, I am not trying to scare you away from the world of D/s. My goal is to make sure that, when you enter our lifestyle, you do so with your eyes wide open, fully knowing what to expect. The road will not be an easy one. You will have to re-learn much of what you once took for granted: things you just did without thinking, like simply sitting in a chair. These are habits we never even think about anymore. That is, until we find a Master.

Everything else you learned before reading this article is probably true. Being a slave is a wonderful life: one where you are taken care of. Most decisions are out of your hands and in those of your Master's. But, many choices will still be left up to you. Most Masters want a slave who is smart, has a sense of humor, and a will of their own. There is no pleasure in owning a doormat who just sits or is only walked upon. He will become bored very fast. Being yourself is the best advice I was given, and I have found this to be absolutely true for me.

You will find being a slave everything you dreamed of and so much more if you enter this life knowing more of what to expect. If you are meant to be in the lifestyle, you will find that, where you were once only walked through life, you will be gliding on air. Parts of you that never were complete will then become whole. In relinquishing control, I have found freedom: freedom to find and be the person I am inside.

It is my hope that, after reading this article, you will be able to make a more informed choice about entering this lifestyle. Never forget that, one of the most important requirements for existing in this lifestyle is honesty. Honesty with yourself first.  However, you will find that this is not as easy as it sounds. Once you learn to do this, you will find yourself at peace and able to enter your servitude with clearer mind, knowing where you are and where you want to be. When you accept your Master's collar, you give up all your rights. Your friends, your life - nothing will remain yours. Being a slave means giving up so much more than you would if you were only being submissive. You give up all rights in your life. Slave isn't just a word; it's a way of life, a defined action. Be well, my friend, and I hope you enjoy this lifestyle as much as I have come to love being in it.

The Nine Degrees Of Submission 

1. The outright non-submissive masochist or kinky sensualist
   Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up of control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist's own terms for the masochist's own pleasure (ie: being turned on solely or mainly by one's own bodily sensations, rather than being turned on by being "used" to gratify one's partner's sadism).
   
    
2. Pseudo-submissive non-slave
   Not into even playing "slave", but into other "submissive" role-playing, e.g.: schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, "forced" transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.
   
    
3. Pseudo-submissive PLAY slave
   Likes to play at being slave. Likes to *feel* subservient; may in some cases like to *feel* that one is being "used" to gratify one's partner's sadism; and may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the "slave's" own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).
   
    
4. True submissive non-slave
   Really gives up control (though only temporarily and within agreed upon limits), but gets his/her main satisfaction from aspects of submission *other than* serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up of responsibility. Doesn't dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly her/his own *direct* pleasure (rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).
   
    
5. True submissive PLAY slave
   Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief "scenes" and within limits) and gets his/her main satisfaction from serving and being used by the dominant - but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. (May or may not be into pain, but if so, is turned on by pain *indirectly*, i.e.: enjoys being the objects of one's partner's sadism, on which the submissive places few requirements or restrictions.)
   
    
6. Uncommitted short-term but more-than-play semi-slave
   Really gives up control (though usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non-erotic as well as fun/ erotic services; but only when the "slave" is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have a long-term relationship with one's Mistress/Master, but, either way, the "slave" has the final say over when he or she will serve.
   
    
7. Part-time consensual but REAL slave
   Has ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship, and regards oneself as the Mistress'/Master's "property" at all times. Wants to obey and please her/him in all aspects of life - practical/non-erotic as well as fun/erotic. Devotes most of one's time to other commitments (e.g.: job) but the Mistress/Master has first pick of the slave's free time.
   
    
8. Full-time live-in consensual slave
   Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/ himself as existing solely for the Mistress'/Master's use, pleasure and well- being. The slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially if the slave is male (since men certainly aren't socially pressured into this kind of lifestyle). Within the S/M world, a full-time "slave" arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.
   
    
9. Consensual total slave with no limits
   A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn't exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the "consent" is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn't fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren't really a slave unless you're willing to do absolutely *anything* for your Mistress/ Master, with no limits at all. There are a few who claim to be no-limits slaves, but in all cases it would be reasonable to doubt the claim.

Serve, Service, Servitude?

By

MsLyn
 

mslynnyc at yahoo

 What do you mean when you offer to serve?

What do you mean when you offer to be of service?

What do mean when you offer yourself in servitude?

Do the answers to these questions bring up visions of you being bound helplessly while being exquisitely tortured, teased to the verge of orgasm?

Do you envision some Amazon Goddess sporting a huge strap-on taking you anally?

Do you envision yourself prancing around in some French Maid Costume and being asked to provide oral service to a Mistress?

Do you envision some woman squatting over your helplessly bound body "forcing" you to serve her orally?

Do you envision being put over her knee and spanked like a naughty little girl?

Yes, nice visions aren't they? However, not one of those visions is the definition of "serve", "service" or "servitude". Oh, I'm sure you consider them to be just that, but if you check your dictionaries you won't find any mention of French Maid Costumes or bondage or strap-ons or oral sex or any other fetish you may enjoy.

In fact you won't find any mention of fetishes at all in the definitions.

Serve is defined as:

1. to work for, be a servant;

2. to act in a specific capacity;

3. to place food before, wait on;

4. to be of assistance to.

Service is defined as:

1. the occupation or duties of a servant;

2. the act or means of serving;

3. duties performed as an occupation.

Servitude is defined as:

Submission to a master; i.e. slavery.

When you offer to serve a FemDom, what you are offering (or should be offering) is the surrender of your control. You should know her well enough to trust her with your life. When you offer your servitude to her, you are telling her that you trust her judgment, you trust her to keep you safe from harm, you trust her to know what is best for both of you, you trust her decisions and desire to follow her orders and obey her in all things. Your offer of service is your ability to let go of your ego and your free will (control) and allow her to control you.

Serving is, first and foremost, the act of making her life easier. It is compliance with all her desires, wishes, and orders. Yes, BD/SM and fetish play more than likely will be included as part of the relationship. But overall, the D/s aspect of the relationship will be where you have turned your control over to her and do as she says. It is about pampering her and catering to her.

Everyday life will be part of this, for most people do have to work, bills do have to be paid, people need to see doctors occasionally, and dentists. Then there are family get togethers, family emergencies, social gatherings with vanilla friends and also with D/s friends. For the most part, life will seem pretty vanilla, but there will be one difference. IF you have truly submitted, then your actions will be measured by how your Mistress would feel about it. Your decisions will be based upon what you are allowed or not allowed to decide without her permission. You will treat others with respect. You will consider that your actions would reflect back upon your Mistress and therefore act in a manner that would make her proud of you. There may be other constant reminders; she may insist you wear an chastity device under your clothes at work. But you will always remember that you have submitted to her and will honor that commitment.

How can you serve your Mistress - what are the ways?

Here are some suggestions:

Ø       Make sure her home is clean and neat.

Ø       Make sure her clothes are clean and neat.

Ø       Prepare her favorite foods for her.

Ø       Prepare her bath.

Ø       Rub her shoulders/feet etc after she comes in from working all day.

Ø       Offer her a massage if her day was very stressful.

Ø       Offer to do her manicure and pedicure.

Ø       Have her favorite music playing or find her favorite show or movie on TV.

Ø       Surprise her with flowers.

Ø       Serve her coffee as soon as she gets up in the morning.

Ø       Ask what clothing she wants laid out for her.

These are just a few of the ways you can serve her once you have been trained in what she wants and likes. Don't be afraid to use your imagination to surprise her (provided of course that she has no problem with you doing this occasionally).

A happy, contented, pleased, relaxed woman is a woman who will then have no problem torturing you, using you, or even indulging you with a fetish or two that are your favorites…………just to show you how much she really appreciates your service and submission to her.

So, what are you offering?

1) Personal service only (oral, massage, bathing)?

2) Play sessions only (spankings, face sitting, strap-on, whippings)?

3) Domestic service only (household chores, errands)?

4) OR are you offering her the whole package?

It amazes me how often a slave turns out to actually not be interested in true service - but more interested in the fantasy of it... which means, you're really not a slave... right?

mmmh... inexperience and current living circumstances may be against me... but :}~ what I have to offer is real and available for life...

I'm not good at showing a false face by trying to seduce someone I don't know.  If you want 'fantasy', fine - but if you want reality... write me.  Getting to know you as a PERSON is more important than how often you think you need to be whipped, flogged or bound to drool on yourself for hours on end. 

Why would I want to try and fuck you on-line?  That's a waste of my time.  I could be getting to know you instead, seduce you with the reality of being loved, with your learning to kneel just the way I like it done...  Seduce you with friendship and giving you the oppportunity to serve someone who appreciates you, cares about you and will tie you up and flog you until your breath runs out then will rape fuck your ass while you gasp for breath, choking beneath the pressure of your leather play collar...

Have I mentioned?  I like extreme play.  Feel free to ask my Beloved - he's better at talking naughty on-line anyway.  His profile, mountainphoenix is turned off... but I'll be happy to forward anymail to his account so you can talk.

Hope you're having a fantastic weekend. 

Do you need to be talked to like you don't live in the real world for a "Domme" to appeal to you?  Do you need to be sexually seduced 'on-line'?  What's up with that? 

If I don't know you as a person, why should I let you in my home?  I don't have time for brats!  I don't have time for damaging my daughter by having four different sluts in the house in six months.  I don't have time to treat you like you're less than dirt.  I do have time to put you in your place, strip you, fuck you and play on the edges - ONCE we agree you're worth my time.  It's called a, "two way street".  You get to serve me and I get to use you.

Have a great day!

Best wishes to you on your journey.