slowtotrust


SlowTung Male Submissive, 50, Cleveland, Ohio	slowthistime Female Submissive, 27	Slowtension51 Male Submissive, 60, fairfax, Virginia

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	About slowtotrust Hello... What i'm looking for are platonic friends... if you're looking for a play partner good for you. i am not looking for a play partner or a Dom. i am open to the notion of serving a Dom at a later time, i just don't want the person i'm with to think that i will just up and play with anyone... as i am not for everyone and everyone isn't for me. Trust as you might or might not know is HUGE in BDSM. Half the fun of a D/s relationship lays in earning trust from one another, making that connection solid, exploring, taking time, building on things. Otherwise it's just kinky sex. Why start off with the "full monty" when anticipation is so much more fun on both ends? It's amazing how many are willing to trust and how many are willing to take advantage. BDSM is a lot like Animal Planet... the hunters and the prey. Be careful out there, you may end up as a Bear snack to be spit out and left to rot... As for my profession, i am "becoming a chef". i went to school and earned the title of chef.. but, i refuse to call myself that. The reason why, is because well.. i want to forever learn more, instead of taking it for granted that i knowing everything. i don't mind calling others who have earned it chef... i just prefer to not announce myself as such. Beside... people all of a sudden want you to cater their kids birthday or cook them Thanksgiving dinner etc... i have to be selective on that and say "no" a lot, cause i have a lot going on in life and people try to tell you how to do things the way they do it at home which isn't always the best, or even meeting the safety standards that i was schooled on. Plus i don't have a business license... just serve safe cert (aka a piece of paper that says i know not to smoke or pick my nose while cooking, and what temperatures are ok to hold food at.) and a cert saying i know how to follow a recipe (be it my own or someone else's). All pictures above were either taken by me or taken of me.

Merry Christmas and belated Chaunakah(sp?) as? Solstice and Happy New Year! i would say Happy belated Kwanzaa but i was dressed down in public, by an African American woman the other day that said that i had no business knowing about Kwanzaa cause "i aint black".

But please know that i wish you all well with what ever holiday you choose to celebrate. ?

So... Last Wednesday my roommate comes home and tells me about meeting this guy named George who was holding up a sign that said "Free Hugs" on one said and "All You Need Is Love" on the other side. He was described as about 5'8" fit, longer blond hair, wearing a pink and yellow tie dyed shirt, hemp necklace, khaki shorts, and sandals.

Monday night Julie (the roommate) and i went to Wal*Mart and bought some supplies to make our own tie dye shirts. We also invited a friend of hers from work over and we had fun tie dyeing shirts and making signs for free hugs. It was awesome. i made mine out of the top of a pizza box from Papa John's and bingo daubers. Julie made hers out of a canvas board, bingo daubers and magic marker. B (Julie's friend from work) made hers from notebook paper and markers.

When i finally met George, it was amazing. He gives the best hugs ever! You could definitely tell that he's had a lot of practice at it. George had to leave about 30 minutes after he got there do to having to finish a project for class, so i didn't get a count on him. B had to leave due to taking a placement test so she didn't get many in, but, a lil is a lot. Julie recruited Loren who's a lil fire cracker and she got in a ton of hugs. Mostly from people she was already familiar with, but, they counted.

Between 12:30-3:30, and not counting air/mental hugs:
Julie: 144
Loren: 124
Me: 102
B: 23

So it's an estimated 393 physical hugs today. 393! In 3 hours! WOW!!! That's just over 2 hugs a minute.

It's amazing the different responses and kind of smiles people give when given the option to hug a stranger with no stings attached. One young lady told us that she has a social anxiety about these sort of thing and left it at that. late r on, she stopped by and gave Julie a pencil drawing of 3 angels, 1 facing forward and the other two facing each other on each side of the one facing forward along with a note that reads:

"Sometimes Angels come in Different forms
I truly appreciate you all for what you're doing. It is adoable and blessed action. I respect you very much. I wish you all the best. Much adoration. "

Wow! How very awesome! When Julie showed me the drawing, my heart melted and made me wish that i could let the mystery woman know how thankful i am for the time she took to write us that note. She didn't sign it at all. So, who ever you are, Thank you.

It was very interesting to see who was responsive vs who wasn't. For the most part females were more open to hugs than men were. Older women it was a mixed bag of open and open and questioning why we were doing this as if we had some ulterior motive. Granted it's Christmas and people might try to reach around and pickpocket people in the name of "free hugs". But we weren't interested in pilfering. i'd just tell people it's because people don't hug each other anymore, or not even enough. Younger women would give hugs and then ask if it was for a social experiment/project, i'd tell them i'm not even a student here, i just want to share the love with no strings attached and if they didn't want a hug from me, to please hug someone else. Some guys would ask why we were doing it and i told one guy "Hey, you don't even have to call me in the morning, cause it's just a hug." It got a few laughs and a few hugs from those who were leary. On older gentleman who was wearing a suit and gave off the aura of a lawyer, asked us questions like "Do you accept tips for this", "How much for 2 hugs" ad so on. i finally told him that if he group hugs all 3 of us within the next 60 seconds that we wouldn't even charge him shipping and handling. He laughed and took the hugs.

All in all though, 100% of the people who had an acoustic guitar was open to hugs. No matter what gender or ethnic background... acoustic guitar players are huggers.Electric guitar (not plugged in of course) they would give us dap, but, they didn't care too much for any sort of physical contact.

As soon as Julie gets her schedule we're going to plan a day and place to go do it elsewhere. Any suggestions that you might have would be appreciated and considered.

Ever have one of those friends, who needs a helping hand, and then that destroys your property? After yelling at him about it, i gave him a 3 day pay or quit yesterday dated for today. After i told him to get his own kitchen equipment to ruin, i caught him using mine. i yelled at him again and then took the knob off the door to the room he's staying in as a subtle hint to get the hell out. What a buzz kill. ?

Just got back in from Dungeon Servitus... haven't been there since February. Wow... Just like getting back on the bicycle.?

YAY!!! i just got my volunteer shift assignment with the The 6th Annual San Diego Bay Wine & Food Festival. *giddy* i get to "hobb-knobb" with the big guys in the biz.?

The female roommate and i just went to see The Men Who Stared At Goats.

Awe inspiring. Jedi or not... we should never be afraid to let our true potential shine and be ourselves.

Side note... we snuck in soda and candy. Hey we bought the popcorn there. It felt so naughty that i answered my roommies question an let out a belch that would scare most men. It totally snuck up on me. Kinda reminded me of when George Carlin was talking about the class Clown a the movie theater.

We giggled about it and were "shooshed" by the people in front of us. Made me feel like i was back in high school when times were much more simple. The suppressed laughter was even more fun. :D

In a convo that i had earlier with a person on CM it dawned on me... i am finding that more and more people have a way different sense of reality as to what the difference between Top/bottom, Dominant/submissive and Master/slave. And some say it's all the same.

The way i was trained:

Top/bottom: They are giving up or taking control for the time being or for the scene its self. Not emotional attachment, just there to experience.

Dominant/submissive: More of a relationship or ongoing love and respect for one another. The sub trusts that the Dominant knows what they want and that their needs will be met but not necessarily their wants unless it's a want of the Dominant. The Dominant makes their needs be made known and the sub is to fulfill without delay. It's an exchange. They take care of each other.?

Master/slave: A job position made by the Master and filled by the slave.

My mom sent me this one...
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
>
>
>
> Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple
> creatures.Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans
> take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be
> President.. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a
> water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you
> the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas
> station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop
> and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
> Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never
> stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut,
> blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
>
> Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about
> tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your
> own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If
> someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
>
> Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more
> than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable
> to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original
> color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to
> shave your face and neck.
>
> You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes --
> one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
> You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice
> concerning growing a moustache.
>
> You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
> minutes.
>
> No wonder men are happier.
> Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy
> reading it
Perhaps this is a good reason to make men subs? Or is this the reason why women are FOR THE MOST PART (not always) more submissive?

Happy Veterans Day.

Thank you for all those who have either currently serve, have served, and those who attempted to serve. Your courage and strength will always be remembered.?

It's soooo cold this morning...?

So i went home from work early tonight... i kinda "laid down the law" in the bathroom with a case of the "bubble guts" and decided then and there, that the past 2 days of aching muscles and stiff joints weren't just from the cold weather or being out of shape. i am indeed sick tonight.

So, since the male roommate(not my boyfriend, just a male who live in one of my rooms) was gone for the night with his girlfriend, and the female roommate was home and neither of us had seen "P.S. i love you"... we decided to have a chick flick night.

Wow... i know they all can't be Jerry's but, i'd love to feel that kind of connection... Where a man knows me better than i know myself at times. And not just off of assumptions based on what other women have done in the past, but, through spending the time to get to know one another.?

Screw what society thinks or what a lover has done in the past. We all think differently and deserve the chance to let ourselves be made known.

As far as dishes are concerned... the house rule is this: If you use it for yourself, you clean it. If you make a meal for the house someone else washes the dishes.

i've been the one to cook for the house, and i finally had it with the pile of dishes in the sink...

i usually feel weird in asking my tenants/roommates to do something that i've been complaining about for a while. On my way to work... i asked for someone to do 1 load of dishes before i get back from work.

When i got back... the kitchen was spottless *except the floor which i'll sweep and mop later, i don't mind* and the living room was all organized and clean... Whoa!

Talk about more than i had asked for. i kinda feel happy and weird at the same time, cause well... i just do...

Note to self... change birth-date if possible...

Yesterday at work, as i was bent over to the right, to get something out of a drawer, my helper spun to the left with a hot pan in hand and bonked me on the head. It didn't tickle.

On the way home, i ran out of gas and called mom. While gone to get gas, i made the mistake of leaving my emergency blinkers on. We had to call a tow truck to jump my car.

So how was your day?

i just realized... at work, i service catholic College Girls...

And Catholic College Girls are the whiniest, bitchiest brats around... Not exactly the most innocent and loveable people on the planet.?

Where the Wild Things Are...
My parents took me to see this and belive it or not, we were the only 3 people in the theater. When they dropped me off at home, and as i was getting ready for the social i started to get my creative juices flowing. Then i showed up at the munch...

What ever happened to the child like mentality of just being able to sleep in a big pile of creatures and not have to worry about sexual performance?

What ever happened to imagination and creativity? Sure we're supposed to grow up and exchange our childish items for the more adult items. Why can't everything that is "adult" like in nature be considered a toy? Why the monotony of the same ole same ole over and over again?

All i see on here are pictures of window shopping attire: corsets, heels and stockings... shackles, metal/cloth collars, and chains. Why not make a person wear a semi shear kaftan over a rope harness out in public? Why not tie someone up with CAT5 cable or lock them up with bicycle locks to a rack someplace, instead of rope or chain? Heck i'm sure that if done right, a person could make a beautiful Christmas tree if the lighting was done right.

ok i need to go spank myself for thinking too much outside the box now.

After not being in the scene since like March this year... i think i'm ready to go to a few munches, meet new people, hug the oldies and goodies, and get back to getting to know people again. Going to one tonight actually.

Mom's taking me out shopping in a bit to get me a fine mesh/itallian chinois, and going to the movies for an early birthday present. i'm soo excited. Ooooh i need to get dressed if i'm going into public, lol. ;)

On a lighter note...

The guy who made up the saying"
"It's all good", obviously never worked in food service.

He approached me again... and asked why i invited him to be a friend on collarme... hmmmm well... the door has always been open for him to show me that he has made an effort to repair the emotional damage that he chose to inflict.

During negotiations, telling someone that you prefer to not wear protection when in the company of your girlfriend and both parties agree... then during play, not wear any... would one think that the man was implying something? This goes for gay couples as well...

We talked about it the first time it happened. i accepted it forgave it, reiterated our wishes, and made things clear. Close to a year later we discussed and negotiated again to make sure we were all on the same page...? it happened again... he put up the road block after he got what he wanted just like the first time.

How is that not emotional rape?

In tonight's convo i let him know that i did consider it emotional rape. Of course like most Tops/Doms/Masters... he denied it all, and resented being compared to a rapist. Well, it was sex under false pretenses which in most states is classified as rape. As to what degree that remains to be researched by yours truly. After all, it is what it is. Thank God i didn't get knocked up by this guy, because he's made it clear by this point that he cannot be trusted nor held responsible for his own actions, claiming that he was "caught up in the moment".

i let him also know that i still had the door open for him because i believe in forgiving those willing to prove themselves worthy of forgiveness... Sure a man(or woman) can give all the lip service he(she) wants to, but, until he(she) applies it to real life decisions, it's just lip service.

Heck i even left the door open for the man who choked me out of anger earlier this year and told him that i will not speak to him again until he shows me evidence that he's been to an anger management course. He refused this notion and tried to blame me for him putting his hands around my neck and then calling my mom to come get me before he kills me. *shakes head* And he calls himself a Dom. He's a lil subbie boy in Doms boots and can't control himself.

At any rate, Forgiveness is attainable... but, not given out like pretzels at a bar when it comes to serious offenses.?

Wow! one more week of school, and i start work tomorrow. The first time in over a 15 months that i will have a scheduled time to go in to work. The first time in about 10-11 months that i will be Dominated, lead around, and told what to do, and not just guided. The first time in so long to be able to prove my skill set and show what i can do and master, to bring a smile to another's face. It's going to be hard, but, i know i can do it.

A wise old submissive lady once told me that if i can't submit to myself who can i submit to. Same goes for Dominance. i will never forget what she said, cause it's true. i've noticed what i need versus what i want in life more and more each and every day.

While in school, as well as this hiatus from relationships, i've started to notice those lil things about myself that i have taken for granted. What it's felt like to not be able to smoke due to a lack of funds. Knowing that i can make it without them with a tylenol and a nice chewy pen or even a ball gag at night to get the oral fixation as well as withdraws out of the way. There are other things i've found substitutes for other addictions in life.... it's been hard, but, i've made it this far without a man in my life, i can make it further still. i'm not saying that i'm going to go throughout life without one. i am going to go without one till the right one comes along and not settle. Life's too short to settle.

Looking back at the past few months of school, i've also noticed how much i already knew as well what i had learned. i will always keep learning. As my instructor once said "A mind that doesn't want to learn is a waste. Attitude is everything in this business. If you refuse to keep an open mind to new textures, flavors, and mediums, then you will remain a cook forever and not excel to become a chef." The same goes for all things in life.

Another things i've grown stronger in realizing, is that it's ok to disagree. Just because 2 people don't share the same reality, it doesn't make 1 person right or the other wrong. It just simply means that people don't always have affinity or share the same realities. Why cause drama over that?

Last night a play pal from the past finally asked me what was wrong due to my status on Yahoo IM. We hadn't spoken to each other in person since Feb of 2008. We hadn't spoken online much except for me to say hello and him to say he had to go.

There was an incident that happened between us that had to do with his not respecting my wishes. This was the second time he had made this infraction.

It felt good to finally let all that pent up frustration and anger go. i cried myself to sleep last night and i just felt awesome this morning.

sloegin Female Submissive, 63, Indianapolis, Indiana	sloslaveboy Male Submissive, 33, ljubljana	sloguy Male Submissive, 55, San Luis Obispo,c, California	slofpc Male Submissive, 38, Cheng Du
slojim Male Submissive, 38, elyria, Ohio	SLouise Transgender Submissive, 29, New York	slowat1st Male Submissive, 33, tucson, Arizona	Slowmotiontex Male Dominant, 52, New Haven, Connecticut
slob25 Male Submissive, 26, indianapolis, Indiana	sloppy2nds Male Dominant, 58, Asheville, North Carolina	SlowHand49 Male Switch, 49	slowlightning Male Switch, 44, Savannah, Georgia

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