SlightlyScared

Well, I think this is the right place to write about this sort of thing. I'm fairly sure there are rules governing the use of names/identities in both posts and journals, so I'm gonna use either initials or just letters for when I don't know/ can't remember names. Basically, these letters probably don't ID anyone. 

I went to my first munch yesterday. 

I managed to pluck up the courage to text a mate (H) the night before to ask if she'll accompany me. She and her girlfriend (T) very kindly agreed. We arrived at the appropriate time, ordered drinks (in my case) and food (in everyone else's case - probably should have asked about that, on reflection) they saved me a seat in the group. 

There were a lot more people there than i was expecting, I thought there'd be maybe 5 more people but there were a lot more than that. I could just be my anxiety talking but I would guess at about 20 people. The kind size of party that would usually have me hiding under a table. Fortunately my buddies bagged me a seat in the corner next to a couple of very friendly, non-confrontational people (K and M)  with whom I spent most of the time talking. 

K was great for settling nerves, talking about life and work and the real world, she's a sub, too, and also suffers with anxiety so she understood my terror at meeting new people. We spoke about some people who frequent the Munches; there are a couple of people it might not be wise to date or even play with until they have themselves and their problems under control. While I wasn't going looking for a date, its still important information. 

M I think was also new, he spent the first part of it sitting aside a bit, listening to music but K also managed to bring him out of his shell a bit, too. As a group we chatted about the marvelously nerdy things of the world (e.g. Dr who). 

When H, who had up until this point been shielding me from most of the group, either intentionally or by some happy accident, went off to get a top-up from the bar, I was approached by a guy, A, who was much less my cup of tea. He was very... eager... he sat on the chair next to me and asked me questions without really listening to or engaging with the answers. He edged closer and closer to me as I shuffled further and further back into the corner, he kept touching my arm and leg, trying to draw me away from the conversation of the group. 

I'm normally pretty oblivious to flirting or being "hit on" but even i noticed this guy. 

In the end he asked me if I wanted to "do some stuff" with him "sometime" which I took to mean, so fuck at his house. I might be misreading the situation, but he was practically sitting on my lap and I've confirmation from the others present that that was what he was after. I told him that, basically, I was there to meet people and not really get too involved too fast, that I'm really new at the whole thing and not up for hooking up with people I've just met. Which I thought was perfectly restrained of me. Had this been a few years ago, I'd have freaked out, scratched him and yelled for him to back the fuck off. A doesn't seem to be a great reader of people. 

Maybe I'm just highly strung.* 

but talking with K and M was nice, it highlighted the difference in dick to decent ratio between the internet and these groups of like minded people. Either that or H was doing a stunning job of deflecting the dicks. 

She's great at that, actually, T helped enormously, too. 

So I came home, did a lil bit of socialising with my parents (lying mostly about the nature of my day whilst still managed to inform them of the place and company) then did what all self respecting, anxiety riddled people do. Cried myself to sleep :-) 

I'm pretty sure I'll go back. I was invited to something this Wednesday that involves electrocution I think I'll integrate into the group a little more before attending a demo, but the sitting and the chatting was nice. It's boob appreciation month soon, apparently. I think I can get behind that ;-) 

Louise 

*There's not much maybe about it. I'm def. highly strung.

Well, I've not been replying to messages for a while and it looks like I might not be able to for a little bit. I'm very sorry about that but things are not good here and I'm not having much in the way of internet time :-(

Turns out working full time and tutoring in the evenings is completely knackering, particularly when followed by a rather stressful mothers day weekend...

Sorry about the lack of replies to people and any grumpy replies that may have made their way through my usual self-imposed restrictions.

Yikes, work is wearing me out, only having the power to respond to a message a day before crashing in bed. Gah, I should have started this earlier, it's a shame I'm such a chicken.

New job started today! I'll have even less time to continue my search than usual, particularly as I'll now be working 8 hours doing data entry, then 3 nights a week 2 hours of tutoring. Its worth it to have things to do during the day, but it takes 2 hours to drive between data entry and tutoring, so that's 12 hours per day of not being at home.

Unfortunately, this also means I'd have to get up at 5am to get to work, so fewer late nights for me (certainly no more 3am bedtimes). Having said that, not being able to wear my pretend-collar to bed means I'm basically a barely functioning insomniac. I might not have to sleep at all! Ha! Yay! Oh... 

The long and short of it there is, sorry if I take so long to reply that you've grown old and beardy.

If someone says "if you like how I write, say hello back" or something in a message and you don't like the way they write (no punctuation or is rather inappropriate, for example) is it acceptable to ignore their message completely or is a quick "no thanks" the best way to go?

Etiquette in these conversations puzzle me ;-)

Todays musings.

I was told once on a vanilla dating site that I should be suspicious of anyone who feels the need to declare the are "genuine", even to go to the extent of using percentages (as if a person would want to be consider 75% genuine).

I wonder if its a reaction to the sheer amount of fakers that other people refer to or an indication of them...

Wow, apparently this is called the sub-frenzy and I can see why. I've noted a couple of things from the messages I've received, so this is my journal of noticing things (it was always going to happen, lets face it)

1) There's a lot more daddy play around than I'd thought. So I'll put a little note here just to say, daddy play isn't really something that interests me, each to their own, but I just don't get it :-)

2) Older guys like younger girls. I shouldn't have been surprised. I'm looking for someone my own age so will be politely declining the interests of older guys unless they have something a bit special

3) I'm a lot more specific in what I'm looking for that I thought I was or rather, I have a bigger list of I-don't-think-so-s than I thought. I'm definitely going to have to take another swing at the likes-dislikes-curious-opera list thing that this website does so well.

4) No one likes opera. Some people even have it as a hard limit, like, I dunno, being pee-d on would be for me... or something. I quite like the technicalities of the style and the history, the themes and interweaving melodies... Okay, I'm a music nerd, I'll just come right out and say it.

5) I have no idea how to react to scenario description messages. I got one with a very detailed (and arousing) description of an interview, it was very thrilling but I have no idea how to respond, the profile doesn't even give me some sort of common interest to try to talk about and anything I have to say is a bit weak after such a stunning opening gambit.

6) I type like I speak, in full bloody paragraphs. Who really types like that? Its like I'm writing an essay

7) I ramble. Behold my rambling. Up there, just look at it. I'm going to stop now. I know, I'll highlight the salient points for the TL;DR crowd.

Back to the message replying, I think.