slavetoextreme60


SlaveMisty Female Submissive, 26, Dallas, Texas	slavenikki Female Submissive, 22	slavebob Male Submissive, 47, long beach, California

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	About slavetoextreme60 UPDATE I will no longer be posting here as Master wanted to me to make a FET LIFE Account and post on that site,however he ordered me to keep this account active, but will not be posting in my journals. I pray you all find what you are looking for and if you found a partner I hope it works out for you and you are happy with the choice you made. Take care of yourself and I wish you Love,Happiness,and Peace in your life.

               Hello To All,

I will not be posting here anymore or if I do it will be sporadic because Master Ordered me to make a FET LIFE Account/Profile so that is what I did. I asked Him if he wanted me to delete this account and just keep my FET LIFE account and he said for me to keep both. I found a few friends that Master and I met at munches we went to on that site so I will be spending more time on FET LIFE then collar space,I will return a few times a week to check any messages I may have received but other then that I will be spending more of my time on FET LIFE!

I will still keep this account active per order from my Master but that is basically it. I PRAY that all members on this site find what they seek and if you do I hope and pray it was the right choice and you are happy with the decision you have made for yourself and your life.

I wish you all so much Love,Happiness,Peace and tranquility and Many blessings from GOD Almighty.

This will be my last post in this journal. Good Luck with your endeavers and I hope you do find what you are looking for.

             Love and RESPECT!

             slave_brenda emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello To Everyone,

Just a quick HI! because Master wants to have a session and since I have been a PAIN IN HIS ASS!! (His quote) He feels it neceaasry to have a mild PAIN session nothing hardcore or extreme but mild since all I do is BEG,PLEAD,WHINE,AND BITCH!! to cumm lolol He needs to let out his frustration with me.It will be exciting or then again maybe not!!

I will return tomorrow enjoy the rest of your day. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello To Everyone,

Arrrrggggggg!!! lol I am so FUCKING HORNY!! and I am being a PAIN IN THE ASS To Master lol He loves the fact I am in a sexual frenzy!!! and so do i emoji .All I do is WHINE,BEG and follow Master around the house all day long and all Master does is ignore me or laugh at me and say NO!!!!!!!!! CUNT YOU ARE NEVER CUMMING AGAIN SO GET THE FUCK OVER IT!!!!! but it does not discourage me, I swore to myself I would NEVER beg or whine because I can never have an orgasm again!! how wring I was. lol all I do is WHINE BEG and act like a PATHETIC DISPICTABLE SLAVE!! I know I will NEVER have another orgasm again and I wear my chasity belt 23 hours a day 7 days a week..

Every day MASTER Locks me in my room ties me to a chair blindfolds me and gags me so I will SHUT UP!! and stop annoying him.Yesterday he left me aloner in my room for 5 hours so he would have some peace and quiet,and when he untied me I kept quiet,but today I started all over again!!

I really am PATHETIC AND WORTHLESS! to act like I do,and I deserve Master ignoring me and saying NO!!!! I am living on the edge and the boarder of INSANITY!! lolol Master loves the POWER he has over me and the control,He holds my life in his hands and he knows this,and takes advantage of it daily!! and of course I enjoy this myself.

I am just an OBJECT!! nothing more,but one who is SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED and no end in sight EVER!! Ahhhh just a typical life of a SEX FREE WORTHLESS SLAVE!!

You all enjoy your Wednesday,and Ladies when ever your owner allows you to have an ORGASM please keep me in your thoughts knowing I NEVER will again. emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,

I have now resorted to a PATHETIC GRAVELING BEGGING DISGUSTING SLAVE!! always following Master around BEGGING for SEX when I stated that I would not do that nor would I BREAK under the pressure,but atlas I have and now all I do is BEG Master for SEX while he just ignores me and when he has enough he ties me up and gags me and leaves me alone in my SEXUAL FRENZY!! but he knows I LOVE IT!! and he knows this is what I CRAVE from him.He loves the fact he broke my will and has turned me into a PATHETIC WORTHLESS BEGGING NOTHING!!! he holds all the power over me and my life and will and I am in total SEXUAL FRUSTRATION from not having an ORGASM in 3 weeks and counting.But I LOVE living on the edge of INSANITY! it is where I feel most comfortable now,the feeling of being vulnerable,weak and not being able to do anything about it has a erotic appeal for me.

I always want be be looked at by Master as an OBJECT for his PAIN or PLEASURE but NEVER my own,I want to live in a state of SEXUAL FRUSTRATION always being IGNORED and told NO!! or just being tied up and gagged for hours!! This is my life now and I am happy living this way,and knowing I have a MASTER who is more then willing to accommodate me and leave me in a SEXUAL FRENZY day after day,week after week and month after month is a Master who I RESPECT! and One who I happily serve and want to serve,always thinking of HIS Needs,wants and desires and never my own.

You all have a GREAT Day and I wish you Love,Peace and Happiness in your life. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Im melting,im melting lol

It is to DAMN HOT AND HUMID HERE!! Yukkkkk!! I HATE THIS WEATHER!! You cant play outside for to long before you have to come back inside,so Master and I are keeping our sessions indoors until this humidity breaks.

Master and I have been invited on a dinner cruise over in lake George this Saturday the 25th and it is VANILLA all the way,So Master and I have to tone down our M/s relationship for the evening but that is okay,It will be fun and a dinner cruise on lake George is BEAUTIFUL! however I will wear a reminder of my place, like my chasity belt and a classy collar that does not look like a typical BDSM SLAVE COLLAR. I am looking forward to it,and so is Master.

I hope the weather will be nice,and since it will be 100% vanilla I have to be careful how I address MASTER,I will have to address him by his REAL Name when we arrive to board the LA DUKE SAINT SACREMENT SHIP but up until then it will be MASTER! However, Master will make any and all decisions when we arrive,and if I need to use the ladies room,i will ask permission tactfully and discretely.

It will be romantic and peaceful and fun.

But for the rest of the week it will be our normal M/s relationship. Master flogs me on a daily basis and I am trying NOT To beg for SEX But I am not doing a good job at that, and as I suspected MASTER Became tired of my whining,and begging for sex yesterday, He tied me to a chair blindfolded me and gagged me and shut me in the bed room so he would get some peace and quiet,lol but he is LOVING the fact he broke my will and now iu am begging and whining for sex,it makes him feel more powerful and in control and I like it as well.

Everything we do I enjoy very much,Going on 2 weeks of living a SEX FREE LIFE! and I am going out of my mind,and I am more then sexually frustrated. I am living on the edge of INSANITY!!! but its good!!

You all have a GREAT Day stay cool and drink plenty of water.take care of yourselves and each other and respect one another and accept one another. emoji emoji emoji emoji

DAMN ITS HOT AND HUMID!!

Master has decided since it is oppressively hot and humid outside that we will stay inside with the A/Cs and play.Yesterday when Master tied me to another tree only wearing my chasity belt as he flogged me with nipple clamps was HOTTER THEN HELL!! we did not play outside for to long,it was to damn HOT AND HUMID! so we cut our outdoor session short but it was fun what time we were outside.

Now I have to be honest with you,and I thought I could hold out longer,but Master broke my strong will yesterday and I begged him to CUMMMM!! He laughed at me called me a STUPID CUNT AND SAID TOO FUCKING BAD BITCH,YOU KNOW YOU WILL NEVER CUMMM AGAIN!!! YOU SURE AS HELL NOT WORTH MY ENERGY MAKING YOUR WORTHLESS ASS CUMMM NOT EVEN ONCE!! And he gloated all day yesterday as I was begging like the PATHETIC WORTHLESS PIG I AM!! and I NEVER had an ORGASM! so today Master is IGNORING Me as I cry and beg to cumm desperately!! I follow him all around the house begging and he doesn't say 1 word he acts as I do not exist.

However, I know he is going to become sick and tired of my graveling ass and he will SHUT ME UP!! without saying a word to me. he will grab me throw me in a chair tie me up gag me, blindfold me and lock me in the bed room so he will not have to listen to me and deal with me for a couple of hours,so I am trying really hard not to beg to much anymore before that happens but I am not succeeding so I know what I am in for before the day ends, but Master also realizes when he treats me like SHIT I become more sexually FRUSTRATED because I LOVE Being treated like an OBJECT with no value,but this is all part of the TORTURE! Master inflict, not so much physical torture as mental,and emotional torture that lastrs longer then any physical torture would.

I am just a PATHETIC BEGGING PIECE OF SHIT WITH NO VALUE that will remain living a SEX FREE LIFE! and Master reaps all the benefits from it, but I also reap benefits in my own way to a point. so in conclusion no matter what Master does and says to me I will remain on the SEXUAL EDGE OF INSANITY With no relief EVER AGAIN! Ahhhh just another day of a SEX FREE DESPERATE PATHETIC SLAVE! emoji

You all enjoy your sunday. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Saturday to all

Today Master is taking me to a very secluded spot tie me To a tree flog me while teasing me sexually. I have to very honest that He is wearing me down quickly. Every day that goes by without cumming is one say closer to breaking my will.

I pray I will be able to hold out today but I don't know, it depends what Master does and says to me. He told me when not if He breaks my will and I give in and BEG Him to cummm he said I would be punished because I told him I will not BEG him for sex.

However,i am not really sure if Master would punish me when he breaks my will because he is AWESOME when it comes to mind fucking/mind games so it keeps me on edge thinking will he or not? But no matter what happens to me today I know it will be erotic, stimulating and intense, I cannot wait to go.

You all have a FABULOUS DAY and enjoy your Saturday I know I will emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

TGIF

Ahhhhh I am totally sexually frustrated,and now that my period has ended Master has made it 100 times more difficult,He is trying my patience and what I mean by that is he is trying to FORCE me to BEG FOR SEX! and trying to break my will because I have not cumm in 2 weeks and counting,although,2 weeks is not very long it is for me,lol but so far he has not broken my will but DAMN!! HE IS GOOD!! I almost broke last night when he was flogging me and verbally humiliating me,my pussy was sooooo wet and I wanted to rip my chasity belt off and masturbate,but I did not do that.

Master says he is impressed and by NOT breaking me justs shows how well he has trained me,however I do not know how STRONG I will be in another 2 weeks lolol I probably will cry and beg like the PATHETIC PIG I AM!! lolol only for Master to laugh at me and say NO!!!!!!!! NEVER CUNT!!!!!!!!!!

I Love living as a SEX FREE SLAVE!! my only purpose is to serve Master anytime he wishs,and I am not worthy or ever having an ORGASM AGAIN! my sexual prime has passed I am only good to humiliate,degrade,and ABUSE by Master and I LOVE IT!!! It is a good life I live.

You all have a fantastic Friday and I wish you all love,peace,happiness and tranquility. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All

I Will return tomorrow to post more,today Master has me running around and I have only about 5 minutes to post.

I wish you all a glorious day and will return tomorrow

Much Love, Peace and Happiness to all of you. emoji emoji emoji emoji

I am often asked now since I am living a SEX FREE LIFE if I will in reality be able to continue this way forever as I stated,and the answer is YES I WILL! this is something I thought long and hard about and not a request I was able to ask my Master in a manner of days or even weeks.

I thought for a few months about this and I to had my reservations and the self control to actually go through with this and again the answer was YES! I can go without sex and everyone has to understand that being sexually frustrated and verbally humiliated on a daily basis is something I and Master very much enjoy.

The chasity belt can some days become uncomfortable but I never ask Master to remove it,i let him remove it before I shower at night,and I make sure I wash up thoroughly so I will not develop any rash from my belt and I always use powder to keep dry. If I was not 100% sure I could do this I would have never requested it of my Master but I knew I could and as long as MASTER is sexually serviced and satisfied with my service and OBEDIENCE no matter what he orders me to do then I am happy.

Being a slave is difficult, tiring but something I am happy to be and willing to give up all of my personal comforts to be a SLAVE to my Master and live a HAAPY SEX FREE LIFE!

Now if you will all excuse me it is play time for me and time for me to be tied to the bed and flogged a while. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,

This afternoon Master is going to tie me to the bed and put nipple clamps on me and I will also be blindfolded and gagged,He promised he would not leave them on longer then 10 minutes then remove them,and I know they will HURT LIKE HELL!! He said I can scream all I want since I will have a ball gag shoved in my mouth!! he is also going to lightly flog me on my stomach while verbally humiliating me so I will experience a little pain and pleasure.

Master realizes I am not a masochist nor a PAIN SLUT and my pain tolerance is VERY low, I cannot endure extreme pain, but I trust Master and I know he would NEVER EVER HURT ME! and he is very experienced with toys he knows where to strike and where not to strike me,and I know I have to endure a little pain, but also he will inflict pleasure in the form of verbal humiliation, so it will be an equal mix,i am nervous and scared but very interested.i am looking forward to this and he will give me a small rubber ball and since I will be gagged I have no way to say my safe word if necessary so I will drop a small red rubber ball on the floor or he will allow me to squeeze his beautiful hands while he ask me if I want him to stop,1 squeeze for YES! 2 for NO! and 3 to continue.so Master has all bases covered. I think it will be fun,erotic and very stimulating for me.it will be a good day for me.

You all enjoy your Wednesday,and I wish you all well always. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,

I or as Master would refer to me as IT had a wonderful day yesterday tied to a chair, blindfolded and gagged wearing nothing except my chasity belt and the TORTURE Master was talking about isn't what you all my think it was,it had nothing to do with S/M or EXTREME Pain it has everything to do with living my SEX FREE LIFE!! The TORTURE Master inflicted upon me did not HURT Me physically per say but it HURT Me mentally because since I was tied,blindfolded and gagged I was unable to see or speak to Master so I had no idea what he would do to me although I knew it would be TORTURE for me even though I have my period and I was wearing my chasity belt.

Well for me it was everything I could ask for and more,as I was sitting in the chair unable to move,see and speak Master began to touch me and whisper in my ear everything he wanted to do to me SEXUALLY knowing that it will NEVER HAPPEN, When he carrassed my breasts I thought I would explode in my chasity belt because I have not had an orgasm for 2 weeks and counting so any contact from Master makes my body respond to his touch,He kissed my neck and my neck is my weak spot and he knows that,He whispered if I would like himt o eat my Pussy and I shook my head yes,then he yanked my head back and said TOO FUCKING BAD CUNT YOU GET NOTHING FROM ME EVER!!!! YOU ARE A STUPID UGLY PIG THAT DESERVES NOTHING BUT THIS TYPE OF SEXUAL TORTURE AND TEASING FROM YOUR MASTER! YOU ARE NOTHING SO YOU GET NOTHING!!

well after hearing those words I thought I would have an INSTANT ORGASM! without having Master touch me because He knows that I NEED to be verbally humiliated on a daily basis to make me feel ALIVE!! and being humiliated is what sexually arouses me more then anything else and the mind fucking or mind games he plays!! with me. After the verbal humiliation Master changed his attitude and went back to caressing my breasts and kissing my neck, and if you do not think that what Master did was TORTURE under my circumstances You should try living a SEX FREE LIFE and then having your Owner tease You in the ways that excite you only then to DENY! You pleasure or when you have not cummm for 2 weeks and counting and you will know what SEXUAL FRUSTRATION really is.

I am not into extreme S/M or HEAVY PAIN,I am not a masochist nor a PAIN SLUT so inflicting heavy pain on me is something I could NEVER endure but Master knew this in the beginning of our relationship many years ago,so he improvises what he does to me to keep him happy and still enjoy has SADISM to a point.

He loves the fact that he can do anything to me and I will not protest, argue,or fight because everything Master does to me I enjoy more then I could ever explain here to you.

When our session was over after 2 hours of this teasing and humiliating,He untied me removed the blindfold and gag and ordered me to sexually service HIM while I get NOTHING in return,and I was in heaven because my reward for enduring his SEXUAL TORTURE on me was the priviledge of sexually serving Him as he wanted and showing him how much I appreciate,love and RESPECT Him,and when I was finished He kissed me and said you are dismissed IT! I smiled and said YES MASTER THANK YOU!! and that was my day yesterday I was on cloud 9 for the rest of the day while my pussy was on FIRE! and nothing I could and can do about it now or ever. Ahhhhhhhh!! LIFE IS GOOD TO ME!!

You all have a FANTASTIC Tuesday,i wish you much love,happiness and tranquility in your life today and ALWAYS!. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,

week 2 of a SEXLESS LIFE!! YES!! I am climbing the walls with frustration, however I have my period so my frustration is not as over powering as it will be when my period is over, so being realistic I am fortunate to have my period right now as ironic as it may seem.lol but I feel more like SHIT then sexual frustrated, But Master enjoys me being sexually frustrated so he does all he can to keep me on the edge regardless if I have my period or not,so it is still very difficult.

I enjoy it very much and once my period ended in a few days then its back to driving me INSANE. Master is VERY observant and watches EVERYTHING He watches my body language, He watches my behavior, He watches my facial features and all of this tells Him how I am feeling without me saying 1 word, He knows how uncomfortable I am becoming because I have not had an orgasm going on 2 weeks, Although 2 weeks is still a short amount of time but every week that goes by becomes more and more difficult for me but its what I requested of Master so He is accommodating me with my request, and TRUST Me HE is LOVING This totally.He knows I cannot do anything about my frustration so he pushes me and pushes me almost to my breaking point then he stops immediately and walks away without saying a word to me leaving me in a sexual frenzy.

I am looking forward to what type of TORTURE He said he would inflict upon me this week,am I worried about it? NO! am I nervous as to what the meaning of TORTURE is pertaining to my SEX FREE LIFE? YES!! I do know Master will be tieing me to a chair today blind fold me and gag me wearing nothing except my chasity belt but will not tell me nothing further then that.OH MY GOD!! just typing the words makes my heart beat out of my chest lolol this is FANTASTIC,EROTIC EXCITING SCARY,AND FUN all at the same time.i cannot wait to see what Master has inj store for me today. I WILL UPDATE you tomorrow.I am LOVIN MY LIFE NOW!!!! and happier then I have been in a very long time.

You all have a GREAT Day I know I will. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Sunday To All,

It has been a VERY SEXUALLY FRUSTRATING WEEK! for me,but I LOVE IT! Actually I would call it TORTURE for me, the longer I am denyed sexual pleasure the more FRUSTRATED I become, however today I am not to bad because believe it or not I still have my period at 51 years old,and I started mine last night, when I have my period I feel like SHIT!! so I don't think about SEX! but Master teases me regardless if I have my period or not. I am used to wearing my chasity belt and it feels natural to me.

Master has restricted even more computer time,so that is why I have not posted in a few days. I am not allowed to post in my journals on Friday nor Saturday,i may read any messages I receive but cannot reply to them until Monday and I am only allowed online daily for 2 hours in the morning today is from 8 am until 10am and every day is different times I am allowed online but on Fridays and Saturdays I am only permitted to come online for 15 minutes just to check emails and read any messages I may receive then log off.

Master keeps me busy so I don't think about my computer I would rather be busy with Master and what he wants then stay online all day doing basically NOTHING except playing online games or posting in my journal, even though I enjoy coming here and posting in my journal serving Master and keeping him happy is more important then coming online.

I have had a busy week doing mundane things for Master JUST BECAUSE it amuses him while he calls me a STUPID CUNT which I enjoy and he knows it. I Love being a slave and restricted from doing things I enjoy and serve Master in any way he wants me to serve him. I am allowed to say I LOVE YOU MASTER! because he likes to hear it from me and I like to tell him and show him how much I love him and respect him and appreciate him for giving me this life as a slave. We are both happy and have no regrets.

You all have a FANTASTIC Sunday and have fun whatever you may do today. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All

I am now totally SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED! and I LOVE every second of it,as crazy as this may seem to most but not to me,feeling this sexually frustrated makes me feel ALIVE!!! and being denyed sexually and wearing a chasity belt daily gives me the satisfaction of being a STRONG slave to my Master and one who will endure whatever makes my Master happy, because enduring what Master wants from me and knowing it makes him happy in turn makes me a better slave, NO! is not in my vocabulary and since this life changing event I feel like this is where I need to be and stay,Handing over my life to another human being and giving up everything in my life that I enjoy takes inner strength, and a deep trust in my Owner, knowing he will always keep me safe in all we do. There is nothing that I will not do for my Master because I know he would NEVER order me to do something He would not do himself and no request is unreasonable.

It s such a great feeling knowing Master has complete and total control over my life and giving up all that I enjoyed in my life to become a SEX FREE SLAVE! is something that I did not have to really think about for to long because I knew I wanted this for me. Being a slave not submissive is not for everyone, and a decision that should not hurried.

Being a slave is difficult I have to be honest with you it is not easy,because nothing is sacred and your life is not your own and you get very tired because you do things JUST BECAUSE Your OWNER finds it amusing and it does not matter how you feel about it because nothing is about YOU! You are a slave to your Owner and your duty is to serve and make sure your Owner is happy, and your happiness should come from knowing your Owner is pleased with your service to him/her.

For me personally I would not want my old life back,i am happier then I have ever been being a SEX FREE SLAVE!

You all have a FANTASTIC Day,and many blessings to you,your friends and your loved ones. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day to all,

In was asked if I ever address Master as "DADDY" absolutely NOT We have a Master/slave relationship not a daddy/daughter relationship. I am not interested in being a little girl to Master nor do I want Master as my "DADDY" daddy/daughter relationship is not appealing to me and not what i want in a MASTER. The only way I would address Master as DADDY is if he wanted me to do so but He would rather be called MASTER by me not DADDY.

I have nothing against a daddy/daughter relationship some couples enjoy it and if it makes them happy then its right for them but it is not what I personally would peruse unless Master really wanted it.

I enjoy Master/slave it is what I am comfortable with and can relate too, but there is nothing wrong with a daddy/daughter relationship in BDSM just not what interest me.

Now back to my slavery,
Master made it very difficult for me yesterday not to beg for sex because he kept saying I KNOW YOU WANT ME TO REMOVE YOUR CHASITY BELT AND ALLOW YOU TO CUMMM,TELL ME YOU THONK ABOUT IT AND WANT IT DESPERATELY CUNT. DO IT NOW!!!! TELL ME HOW WET YOUR PUSSY IS AND WANT TO CUMMM SLUT

I replied Yes Master I would like you to remove my chastity belt and be allowed to cummmmm and my pussy is very wet and would like to be allowed to cummm for you..

Master laughed spit in my face and said TOO FUCKING BAD BITCH YOU ARE NEVER CUMMING AGAIN,I WANT YOU TO SUFFER LIKE THE LOW LIFE PIECE OF SHIT YOU ARE. YOU WILL NEVER BE WORTHY TO EVER HAVE ANOTHER ORGASM AGAIN,YOUR ORGASM DAYS AE FINISHED WHORE HOWEVER SINCE YOU WILL NEVER CUMM AGAIN WHORE IS SOMEONE YOU AEE NOT,YOU ARE NOTHING IT,AND IT ISBONLY GOOD FOR TOTAL OBEDIENCE AND SERVITUDE NOTHING MORE!!!

OH MY GOD!!! When Master humiliates me that much I want to cummm instantly, it drives me INSANE!!! Verbal humiliation is a sexual trigger for me and I go off the walls, but I know if I beg for sex and to cummm I will be severely punished, so I stayed strong and did not beg even though Master wanted me too, its all partnof MIND FUCKING/HEAD GAMES but he almost broke my will and I wanted to beg and beg to cummm because I was solo horny, and Master did not give an inch to stop teasing me. I thought I was going out of my mind, all I wanted to do is rip my chastity belt off and masturbate like crazy, but masturbating is a capital offense and cause for extreme physical punishment, and I kept thinking Oh please Master stop driving me insane, I cannot take much more of this teasing and humiliation without me exploding.

Finally Master stopped teasing me and my body calmed down, and all Master did was walk away without saying a word, and left me standing alone while my body calmed down and after an hour Master told me to sit at his feet and keep my DIRTY MOUTH SHUT so I sat at his feet quietly.

It was a good day, and I felt ALIVE and horny as hell and not be able to do anything about it except stay in a sexual frenzy state. I LOVE IT!!

You all have a great HUMP DAY and I wish you happiness, love and peace in your life always emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,

Master and I had a nice walk yesterday. I walked behind him while he walked me and after our walk I was allowed to visit with slave_angie She is owned and collared to Sir Robert,He is a dominant friend of Master,and He is a very respectful Man/Dominant, He is very responsible and takes very good care of his PROPERTY! and his slave angie is a very beautiful intelligent woman and knows a lot about this lifestyle more then I do and she gave me some good advice which I will heed.

Master has added a new restriction for me, Along with no sitting on any furniture,or sleeping in a bed,living a sex free life and eating my meals from a dog bowl on the floor, Now I am not allowed to drive,If I want to go anywhere,i am to ask Master and he will take me and I like it very much.

All i am good for is OBEDIENCE! nothing more,i make no decisions,have no rights except for the rights Master decides to give me, I have no opinions and no say with my life,All i do is OBEY! and YES! I enjoy it.

I ask Master permission for EVERYTHING and ANYTHING,and He will make the final decision.My life revolves around serving Master and OBEDIENCE! My servitude to my Master reflects upon Him meaning How well he has trained me to be a SLAVE! and not a SUBMISSIVE! Deep inside i have always wanted to be a SLAVE like this and now i am living as one and i have no regrets nor do i ever want to go back to who i was prior.I enjoy being called IT and VERBALLY HUMILIATED and sexually teased while being denyed.I enjoy wearing my chasity belt 7 days a week.This is what makes Both Master and i happy.

However,i would never consider literally handing my whole life over to just any Man/Master,to get to my level of servitude and give up everything i enjoy to another human being takes TRUST,HONESTY,LOYALITY,STRENGTH and open honest communication,and I do trust MASTER with my life and i know i am always safe whatever we do,I have no hesitation when he ties me to a treew blindfolds me gags me and mentally manipulates me into thinking he left me alone when the fact is He NEVER Left,and there is no way in hell i would ever hand over my entire life to just any Man/Master.

I love Mastewr and he loves me and i know no real harm will ever come to me or my body and i feel comfortable with everything Master does to me and i enjoy it as much if not more then Master does.

I know i will continue on this life changing path that i chose for myself and i will continue to grow as a slave and learn from Master and others who know more then i do and i want to be the BEST slave i can be for Master and to do that i listen and take advice from others who are real life slaves and have more experience and knowledge then i do and i want to learn more and gain as much knowledge as i can from Master and others who are happy to share their experience and advice with me.I thank them very much

You all have a GREAT day and i wish you many blessings and happiness in your lives where ever you are. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All

Another SEX FREE DAY!! in my chasity belt,i was asked if I enjoyed wearing it 7 days a week? YES I love wearing the chasity belt 7 days a week,and YES!! Now I am totally SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED!! and Master plays on that frustration and I enjoy every second of it.As difficult as it is for me I will NOT BEG Master for sex and remove my chasity belt,He removes it 1 hour daily so I may shower and clean myself thoroughly while Master watches to make sure I do not masturbate when I am washing my pussy,i can only touch myself to clean and wash my body but not to masturbate.Master watches me as I shower to make sure I do not masturbate as I wash myself.

Today Master is taking me out for exercise He usually walks me daily, We go to a friends house who own 20 acres of land which is all fenced in and private. He is a Dominant friend of ours and he also walks his slave when we come over so we both can exercise and Master can visit with his friend.

When Master walks me I am gagged so I cannot speak,and I cannot crawl because of my knees so I walk behind Master as he walks me.Our friends slave crawls behind her Master but I cannot physically do it so I just walk. I enjoy the walk and after the walk Master allows me to visit with our friends slave.It will be a nice day.

I am adjusting to my new life and feel comfortable with my new life and Master is VERY Happy because this is what he has always wanted from me,and no matter how he treats me I am always RESPECTED! because if there is no RESPECT then I would not be able to do this,and everything Master says and does is conscentual with me nothing is conducted without consent but I enjoy everything we do and there is nothing I dislike. Life is good for both Master and myself.

You all have a GREAT DAY and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends always. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Sunday Morning

I hope you all had a AWESOME 4TH OF JULY! Master and I had a FANTASTIC 4TH,Lets see, well for a couple of hours Master and I went to a secluded wooded area and Master tied me to a tree and he took off my shorts and he also blindfolded me and gagged me and left me tied to a tree half naked for a 1/2 hours increments for a 2 hour period and all the while I was wearing my chasity belt,he did allow me to wear a top so bugs wouldn't eat me up to much but I did any way on my legs and feet and arms because I was wearing a short sleeved top,I NEVER did anything like that before and I LOVED IT!

For the 2 hours I was tied half naked to a tree blindfolded and gagged Master NEVER spoke a word nor did he make any noise so I thought he left me alone,and I was feeling a little scared and embarrassed in case someone came along and saw me tied to a tree and then untie me, But Master realy did not leave me alone he just was very quiet,and then after 2 hours he untied me,and removed the ball gag but left me blindfolded. He put my shorts and sneakers back on me again attatched my leash and then pulled it while I walked obediently behind him all the while NEVER saying a word.

When we arrived back to our car,He opened the door and shoved me inside and told me to KEEP MY FUCKING MOUTH SHUT OR I WILL GAG YOU AGAIN!! so I kept quiet I was so damn excited and nervous not knowing what Master was going to do next,this was so erotic for me. Master started the car and we drove,then He finally spoke to me he said DID YOU ENJOY YOURSELF CUNT?? I said YES MASTER VERY MUCH!! and He said I AM HAPPY BUT REMEMBER WHORE I CAN INFLICT PAIN AS QUICKLY AS I CAN GIVE YOU ENJOYMENT DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME BITCH??? I said YES MASTER I DO!!

After that He said nothing to me, When we arrived home early in the afternoon he said I will start the grill and cook our steak and I want YOU to cook the corn on the cob and then later since you have been OBEDIENT today I will reward you with going to see fireworks, I said THANK YOU MASTER YOU ARE TO KIND TO ME and He said YES I KNOW I AM SOMETIMES TOO NICE TO YOU CUNT!!

So He removed the blindfold we cooked our dinner and I ate my dinner on the floor from a dog bowl while my leash was attatched to His chair and when dinner was over He asked me if my pussy was wet from the days activities? I said YES MASTER I AM SOOOO HORNY!! He said TOO FUCKING BAD CUNT YOU WILL NEVER CUMM AGAIN YOU CAN BE AS HORNY AS YOU LIKE BUT NOTHING WILL BE DONE ABOUT IT DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME ME YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT? I smiled and said YES Master I realize I am not worthy of sexual pleasure from you ever again and I never deserve to cumm again I am OLD UGLY AND PAST MY SEXUAL PRIME!! He said THATS RIGHT BITCH FOR ONCE IN YOUR WORTHLESS LIFE YOU ARE CORRECT!!

Then later in the evening we went to see 2 fireworks display and had a GREAT Time and when we arrived home I sexually serviced Master then when I was finished he told me he was removing the chasity belt and for me to shower so I showered and he cleaned my chasity belt and put it back on me again CLICKED IT LOCKED and told me to go to bed! He said BEFORE YOU GO TO BED KNEEL BEFORE ME AND THANK ME FOR GIVING YOU SUCH A NICE 4TH OF JULY HOLIDAY!

I knelt before Master,Kissed his feet over and over again and said MASTER,MY LOVE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR A WONDERFUL 4TH OF JULY HOLIDAY AND TIEING ME TO A TREE AND THEN LEAVING ME THERE FOR 2 HOURS,AND TAKING ME TO SEE FIRE WORKS AND ALLOWING ME TO SEXUALLY SERVICE YOU.I LOVE YOU MASTER!!

He smiled patted me on the head and ordered me to get up and go to bed I OBEYED Immediately and went to bed.

IT was a GREAT 4TH OF JULY! emoji emoji emoji emoji

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!

Master and I hope you all have a FANTASTIC and SAFE 4TH OF JULY and enjoy your holiday weekend.

I have my chasity belt and now it is official,i am living a SEX FREE LIFE!! and it feels AMAZING!! the belt takes getting used too but I LOVE IT!! and of course now I am beginning to feel SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED so Master does what He is very good at doing! HUMILIATING and TEASING ME until I want to BEG Him to cummm but I will NOT give in and BEG for SEX of any type as difficult as Master makes it for me, but its al part of my new life.

It would be boring if Master did nothing to entice,tease and humiliate while wearing my chasity belt.I need to feel sexually aroused while being denyed to cummm so Master calls me names because he knows how much I LOVE IT and I can feel my pussy become wet throough my belt and he just laughs at me and says YOU ARE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT AND WILL NEVER CUMM AGAIN!! flattering words for me to hear daily. He removes the chasity belt once a day so I may shower and when I am washing my pussy he makes sure he watchs me so I do not masturbate because he told me if I did I would be SEVERELY PUNISHED AND I WOULD NOT APPRECIATE IT NOR WILL IT BE A PLEASUREABLE EXPERIENCE FOR ME!! and I truly believe him because he follows through with whatever he tells me so I know he would.

I never imagined myself living a SEX FREE LIFE and enjoying it so much, I think a lot is the MENTAL ASPECT of this knowing in my mind I will NEVER CUMM again,it has some erotic appeal to me, however if I was 10-20 years younger I do not think I would have asked for a SEX FREE LIFE! but maybe I would,but since I am 51 years OLD it is easier for me to live without SEX and be happy doing so.Do I still CRAVE sexual contact with my MASTER? Of course I do I am not DEAD and I still have needs and wants,but knowing in my mind that I will NEVER have sexual contact with Master gives me a sense of peace because in my mind I am performing my duty as his SLAVE and if I can endure a SEX FREE LIFE and wear a chasity belt 7 days a week 365 days a year then I know I am making Master HAPPY! and he is PROUD of the fact I take this seriously and it is not just a GAME for me to play.

1 hour a day is all I go without the chasity belt,Master inspects my pussy and skin around it to make sure it does not become irritated from the belt and if I do become irritated and I develop a rash from wearing it 7 days a week then Master will remove it treat my rash until it heals and put the belt back on again but so far no rash or irritation.

So in closing today,i have to say honestly I am happy Master is happy and living a SEX FREE LIFE is becoming easier every day even though Master teases me daily and makes sexual remarks to drive me insane.i want this life and will continue to live this way of life.

ENJOY YOUR 4TH OF JULY!

A FYI The women in my profile pictures are NOT Me I try to find goth women intermixed with a BDSM Aspect.

Good Day To All

I was asked if I really wanted/needed to be transparent with my Master and if I thought by allowing him to read all of my messages first before I do and review my journal entries if I thought it was an evasion of my privacy and maybe he really does not trust me online on fear I may flirt with other Male Dominant.

I will address all of these points of views in public for all to read.

To answer the first question YES I really want to be transparent with my Master because I have nothing to hide and since our M/s relationship has been taken to a new level this is the way it has to be.

I do NOT think or feel that Master reading all of my messages and journal entries is an invasion of my privacy because I have nothing to hide and I am not doing anything wrong,disrespectful or disobedient.

To commentnon the last point, Master does trust me because he knows without a doubt that I will NEVER EVER flirt, cyber or go behind his back and do something to hurt him.He knows I am 100% loyal, devoted and faithful to only him and I only take orders from him, and Master has every right to read any and all messages and read my journal entries because I am open and honest with him in all aspects of my life and I welcome Master reading everything I post in public and private.

I Love my Master with all my heart and soul and will do anything for him and I make him happy to the best of my ability daily, and soon He will be placing my chastity belt around my waist and clicking it closed so my SEXLESS LIFE will be official.

I hope you all have a great day and Master told me I did not have to address myself as IT, if any other member wants to I will accept it and Master addresses me as IT now but I do not have to talk in the third person when posting entries or replying to messages. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All

I/it am BORED because I/it is patiently waiting for the chasity belt to arrive so Master can put it on CLICK it closed and take the key away. and I/it is still waiting to become SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED because I/it has not cummm but its to early in another couple of weeks when I/it is wearing the chasity belt then I/it should start feeling the effects.Living a SEXLESS LIFE is exciting and erotic and I/it is happy Master is doing this,however He will NEVER be denyed sexual pleasure I/it will sexually service Master but He will not return the pleasure even though I will become HORNY by sexually satisfying Master,but that is whole idea to tease and deny while I/it climbs the walls out of frustration. Ahhhhhhhhhh!! how sweet it will be.

I/it is happily accepting this SEXLESS USELESS LIFE Now and I/it can now just focus on keeping Master happy without SEX getting in the way. Master is enjoying this total control and power he has over me and He knows I keep my mouth shut and only speak when spoken too and NEVER argue,bitch,whine or complain, I/it does as I/it is told and responds with YES MASTER! No eye contact is allowed.i am SILENT unless Master orders me to speak.

I/it likes this life living without SEX and being USED as Master sees fit and I/it accepts any and everything Master inflicts upon me/it because I/it TRUST Master with my/its life and I/it is always SAFE!

On the 4th of july Master is taking me/it on a little trip destination unknown,Master said WE are going out and IT will be surprised where we are going. Oh the excitement and vulnerability. LOVE IT!!

I/IT hopes you all have a AWESOME DAY and I/it hopes you are preparing for a happy safe 4th of july. emoji emoji emoji emoji

I was asked since I/it is a slave and my rights,choices,decisions ETC have been taken away from me,and my relationship with Master is more BDSM if the LOVE between us have changed and feelings,emotions by Master or myself.

The answer is No our relationship has changed not LOVE,feelings or emotions for one another,the difference is now that the VANILLA LOVE aspect is not shown as much but just because it is not shown between us does not mean its not present.It is present daily but our focus is more on the MASTER/slave relationship now that I/it is feeling better and our relationship can move forward to a higher level.

I love MASTER just as much as I did prior to the change in the relationship and MASTER loves me.We don't let LOVE become involved in what we do and Master does not allow his feelings for me to cloud his actions,decisions or judgments pertaining to how He treats me and punishment.He remains FIRM DIRECT and does not give in just because He LOVES Me.

We have learned to separate our personal feelings we have for one another when it is necessary and at this moment it is necessary,and I do not try and manipulate Him to change his mind or lesson his punishment because He loves me.

When I requested the next level with our MASTER/slave relationship and want to focus more on that relationship we both agreed that LOVE will not get in the way of what we do,and how Master treats me,If we allow our personal feelings to get in the way of our M/s relationship then the outcome would be based on FEELINGS,EMOTIONS AND LOVE and we both do not want that.

Master treats me now as a SLAVE which means being STRICT,FIRM and no compromise and I accept and OBEY without question,argument or hesitation,i expect Master to HUMILIATE me when ever and however he deems necessary for his pleasure and LOVE is not His driving force when it comes to decisions,punishments or goiod judgment.

So in closing LOVE is not a factor in our M/s relationship even though it is always present it is not shown directly but is known emotionally and mentally.

slave

Good Day To All

I was asked if everyone who leaves me a message has to address me as IT and the answer is NO If you feel uncomfortable with addressing me as IT then you do not have too, Master is the only one who addresses me as IT. Other members do not have to address me as such. Master did not say that everyone who leaves me a message has to address me as IT! You may call me slave or Brenda its up to members what they want to address me, I will reply to all no matter what you call me.

Master said He is excited about having me/it wear a chasity belt.The belt should arrive sometime this week. i/it am looking forward to wearing the chasity belt. I/it is going on 1 week without cumming and i/it is still not climbing the walls as of yet.i/it should start reacting in another week or so but that's what i/it is waiting for.I/it enjoys being sexually frustrated,and when the chasity belt is CLICKED! then i/it knows without a doubt i/it will remain SEXLESS!! Ahhhhhhhh What a feeling.

I/it hopes you all have a great day and you are getting ready for the 4th of july this Saturday. emoji emoji emoji

Good Sunday To All,

Master has informed me that HE would appreciate other members who send me messages to address me as IT and not Brenda any longer because IT is my name now. A Big adjustment to get used too.but I/it wanted this so now I/it is getting what was requested. I/it was asked does transparency pertain to Master or to EVERYONE and it pertains to Me/it meaning I/IT have to be transparent and Master reads any and all messages from other members.As I/it stated yesterday I/IT has nothing to hide so reading any and all messages does not worry me/it. This is new for me/it because Master has never done this before but as a slave and being treated as one it is only right that Master reads any and all messages from other members,

Master knows that He can trust me/it because I/IT serves ONLY Him so it is not about TRUST its about living as a slave who is open and transparent with everything. I/it is allowed only 2 hours per day online in the morning so I/it does not 2 hours here.i/it post in my journal then I/it moves on to play online games then log off for the day and wait for instructions.

You all enjoy your sunday and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends always.

slave_IT

*UPDATE ANNOUNCEMENT*

Master has decided that I will be addressed as IT from Him and instead of a number I will be now addressed as *IT* a suitable title for a SEXLESS USELESS SLAVE so IT is my name now, He thought IT is more suiting to HIM so now whenever he wants me for anything he will say IT I NEED YOU COME HERE!! and when I was kneeling in front of Him and He told me my name is IT I smiled to myself and replied THANK YOU MASTER FOR GIVING ME SUCH A GOOD NAME and I will always RESPECT your decisions about anything and everything then I kissed His Shiny black leather boots which by the way I polish once a week until they SHINE! Then he said I was dismissed.
My time here has ended for the day I am only allowed a couple of hours in the morning online to come here,play online games chat ETC so now I must go and wait for further instructions for the day, However Master told me that I am allowed messages from other members as long as He reads them first before I do and that is also something I no longer have MY PRIVACY! I am 100% transparent,open and honest and besides I have NOTNING to hide as I do nothing wrong here I only reply to any messages I may receive and play online games and that's about it because I am restricted to visiting certain web sites.

Now I must go before I am PUNISHED for disobeying a direct order. I will return for a couple of hours tomorrow morning, Again enjoy your day.. emoji emoji emoji

Good Day to all,

Before I begin I was asked if the woman in my profile picture is me and the answer is NO,It is just a picture I found online that I liked so I posted it.

I was also asked by a very polite Male Dominant How Master feels about me living a SEXLESS LIFE and what about His sexual needs and desires,and if I was being selfish because living a SEXLESS LIFE is what I DESIRED and maybe He really does not agree.

I will address this issue,

Master is NEVER denyed sexual pleasure just because I am. infact Master has NEVER been denyed ANYTHING by me.NOTHING is about me any longer and if he chooses to have sex with other slaves then he will,i know my place and my ,place is sitting quietly at his feet on a short leash.

Master agreed to this arrangement because we discussed it. I requested that I Live a SEXLESS LIFE but that does not mean He will nor does,However Master is not one for going out looking for SEX,I take care of His SEXUAL NEEDS when ever he wants it however he wants it,So Master is NEVER denyed SEX.

Living a SEXLESS USELESS LIFE is a adjustment for me and when I am basically able to do as I please as long as I ask Master permission is now taken away from me takes getting used too, but this is how it will be from now on.

Changes have been made to my life and I am adjusting to them without question,argument or hesitation. For example, I was allowed to sit on furniture as long as I asked permission to do so and now I am no longer allowed to sit on furniture with or without permission, I also sleep on a air mattress at the foot of Masters bed and not allowed to sleep in bed. I eat my meals from a dog bowl on the floor with leash attatched to Masters chair.I do not speak unless spoken too.The only thing that has not changed is if I do not feel well or I may have a problem or issue then I can always go to Master ask his permission to speak to Him about an issue and He will allow it, I Can be online only certain times of the day instead of whenever I choose and even though We have a domestic slave,Master has me run around doing basically mondane things JUST BECAUSE HE CAN! and YES I get very tired but do as I am told without complaint.

This is my new life and one I freely accept and want for myself,but be assured that Master NEVER is denyed sexual pleasure or ANYTHING for that Matter because it is all about HIS wants and HIS Needs not my own,and my place is to make Him happy no matter nhow I accomplish it.My feelings do not matter and neither does the fact I may not like something,my place is at his feet in total OBEDIENCE as a SLAVE and nothing more.Master and I are both happy especially Master because he is getting what he has CRAVED for now a long time,and his happiness is all that concerns me,when He is happy then I am happy,simple logic.

You all have a GREAT Saturday and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends.

A SEXLESS USELESS slave

TGIF

Day 2 of living a SEXLESS LIFE!! at this point its BORING lol because I am not crawling out of my skin because I cannot cumm but I know I have to be patient and wait for at least a month,Master informed me my chasity belt will arrive some time next week and I am excited and cannot wait to wear it.

Master has put more restrictions upon me and I am doing less and less then I was before but I enjoy it very much,I want to be put on a very short leash and I mean that sincerely meaning Master puts me on a short leash and everything that I once enjoyed doing is being taken away from me.Master asked me one last time if I wanted to proceed with this very strict SEXLESS LIFE and I replied YES MASTER PLEASE CONTINUE as I want what I once was taken from me and I want to become a NUMBER and not a name, and I want to be treated as an OBJECT with no real value to anyone including Him,however by treating me as such I do have value,I hope it makes sense to you.

The more my life is taken away from me the more VALUE I am as a SLAVE with no VALUE except to be used and humiliated as Master deems necessary. My goal is to be totally STRIPPED of the person I was prior to become a OBJECT to Master an OBJECT to be used and humiliated at will and when Master speaks to me he addresses me as a NUMBER not even SLAVE! this is what I asked for and this is what I want and Master is only to accommodating because this is what HE wants as well and this is totally 100% conscentual between Master and myself this was not forced upon because I am the one who requested it.

Once the chasity belt is LOCKED on me and I hear the CLICK!! I will know that I will NEVER EVER Feel any sexual pleasure coming from my body ever again,i informed Master that instead of begging to cumm I will not ask,even though it will drive me insane,He agreed and if I do ask for SEX at any time I will be SEVERELY PUNISHED! something Master has NEVER done before,dont get me wrong I have been punished in the past many times but not to extremes but if I want to live as a genuine slave then I must accept any and all punishments whatever they may be in what ever form Master deems necessary and I will thank Master for the punishment and once I have accepted whatever punishment He inflicts we move on and its forgotton until the next time I FUCK UP!!

So in closing today I want to say that I am happy free and ready to accept this NEW Life in which I desire and requested from Master and I know this new level of servitude will teach me and help me fully understand what being a NAMELESS SEXLESS SLAVE truly is and I am confidant in myself that I will achieve this with every SEXLESS PASSING DAY!! emoji

I Wish you all many blessings and I hope you are happy in the life you have chosen for yourself and you become all you can be and live up to your potential in your chosen role.

slave_brenda (soon to be just a number)

Hello To All,

Ahhhhhhh,I am in heaven it is my first day of a SEXLESS LIFE!! and I feel AWESOME!! But 1 day is NOTHING!! I want to feel totally SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED and climb the walls and act like the begging stupid cunt that I am,but that will not arrive until about day 30 when I have not cummm in a month.I want to beg and gravel at Masters feet and beg him to cummm only for him to laugh at me spit in my ugly face and say NO YOU ARFE NEVER CUMMING AGAIN BITCH!!!!!! then when my chasity belt arrives which should be in a few days I will really feel my SEXLESS LIFE! inside my chasity belt and Master having the only key..

Some may feel this would be to extreme for them I mean NEVER to experience any sexual pleasure ever again but for me it is what I want,and who would FUCK an OLD UGLY 51 YEAR OLD SLAVE!!!!!! Ohhhh YUUUKKKKK nobody,i am past my sexual prime in my life,i am only good for begging,and pleading for any sexuial pleasure while being denyed by my Master.As Master said to me last night it is what I deserve I am be realistic here I am 51 years old so why would I even think of SEX now in my life?? but you have to understand who and what I am, I am NOTHING! my place in life is at my Masters feet on the floor,with no choices no opinions and no value,so it is only fitting that I remain SEXLESS!!

I am a pathetic slave with no rights and only good to USE and DENY sexual pleasure, but you have to also understand this is what I asked for it is what I wanted Master to seriously consider and give a lot of thought,and whatever He decided is what would be,and He decided it was time to treat me as a WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT that I am and give me what I craved by Him.

So today is the first day of my total and complete SEXLESS LIFE and when my chasity belt arrives Master will lock me inside it carry the key and then watch me as I beg cry plead and GO OUT OF MY MIND because I cannot cumm EVER AGAIN!! ahhhhhhhh!!! its a beautiful life!!

You all have a FANTASTIC DAY!! and I wish you many blessings and much Love,Happiness,Peace and tranquility in your lives today and always. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All

I hope You All are having a FANTASTIC Week. I am feeling so much better and I am happy to say that my wound is not draining as much anymore and I believe it is finally clearing up and its about time its been a long 2 years and its time to put this all behind me and continue on with my life.

Master gave me his decision about denying me any sexual pleasure until the day He passes away and I am sooooo happy,He has also purchased a chasity belt and i will wear it 7 days a week and the only time He will remove it is when i shower,the only thing i will cover my wound on my back so the belt does not rub against it and irritate it but other then that i will NOT be allowed to masturbate at any time and i will remain to live a SEXLESS LIFE until the day Master passes away,its what i wanted and now Master has agreed however Master will tease me as the days,weeks and months go by just to drive me OUT OF MY MIND!! and i am looking forward to that.

I want be be SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED and i want to climb the walls because i cannot cummm EVER!! emoji emoji

I cannot wait until my chasity belt arrives and begin to wear it.. Master will continue to verbally humiliate me and tell me how FUCKING DISGUSTING I am and do not deserve any sexual pleasure EVER!! I LOVE IT!!! You know what the old saying is BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH YOU BECAUSE YOU JUST MIGHT GET IT!! and i am getting what i asked for to live a SEXLESS LIFE!! YEAH BABY!! i am so ready for it.

You all have a FANTASTIC Day and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends.. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All

I feel AMAZING to be serving my Master fulltime, I feel like a new woman and free from all responsibilities however if Master wants something special done that is only asked of me not our fulltime domestic slave Mary I do it obediently and immediately without question or protest. The only response is YES MASTER.I never make eye contact with Master my eyes are always lowered out of respect and then only time I look Master in the eyes is when I am told to do so which is not often if ever now since we are focusing more on our M/s relationship an not VANILLA, it is what we both have been wanting for a long time so it feels GEEAT emoji

You all have a FANTASTIC DAY and be well and safe in all you do daily. emoji emoji emoji

The best thing about serving Master for me personally is the VERBAL HUMILIATION And degrading humiliation and Master gives me that daily so I am living in heaven on earth. emoji

Hello Everyone

I hope all the handsome dads,granfathers,and step dads had a AWESOME FATHERS DAY Yesterday and was spoiled as the moms were on Mothers day.

Mary accepted the job offer from Master as our fulltime domestic slave and I am now a fulltime slave to my Master and puts me on a higher level of servitude and all of my focus and attention is on Master and his needs. When Master is up I sit at his feet with my leash attatched to his chair,i eat all meals at his feet in a dog bowl and I am also tied to bed at night I LOVE IT!! I also ask permission to do EVERYTHING and ANYTHING!! something I have craved for months and it finally happened since my back issues.

I am not allowed to sit on any furniture without explicit permission and where ever Master and I go I am on a leash except when we go out then we have to be more discreet Because we live in a small town and our neighbors would not understand why Master is leading me on a leash lol so Master carries my leash and when I get into the car then Master attatches it to the door handle.I LOVE IT! and it calls me a FUCKING CUNT,BITCH SLUT WHORE etc and YES it is conscentual because I love verbal humiliation I always have and always will it excites me and its erotic to me and Master loves humiliating me as well.

I have been waiting for me to be more a slave to Master then just his Partner and now my back is better and I can focus all of my time and attention on Him I can be his slave not just his partner so life is good.

You all have a GREAT Day and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends,be well always. emoji emoji emoji

Hello To All,

I have some pretty good news,i went for a wound check yesterday and I actually was able to see My Surgeon (Dr.Phillips) and he looked at my wound and said it looked good and clean outside and said since I have only been taking the stronger antibiotic for a week to finish it and after that point in 3 weeks I go back for another wound check and see if the ecoli inside my back has finally died and cleared up and I and MASTER pray it will. However,if some remote chance it doesn't Dr.Phillips will do what is called a scan to check inside my back and see if the cavity of the wound has some infection that antibiotics will not kill and if that is the case he will do a second surgery.

He did not want to do another surgery because he stated my wound looks good and going in the right direction and this stronger antibiotic will work,and I asked God to PLEASE!! let this work,so time will tell.

I hope you all have a FANTASTIC DAY and enjoy your Saturday. emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All

Master and I were discussing the arrangement we had with our domestic slave Mary,and we have kept in touch with her,and she told me she is having a difficult time finding a fulltime domestic slave job in this lifestyle as there are not many couples around here who are into it,so Master and I discussed it over and He decided to hire her on fulltime as our domestic slave because she did such a wonderful job when I arrived home from the hospital taking care of the house, and my 2 girls/cats,so Master contacted her this morning and asked her if she would be interested in working fulltime at our home as a domestic slave and she happily said YES!

She is a very OBEDIENT slave and listens well,the same rules apply now as they did when she was living here on a temporary basis,she takes orders from MASTER ONLY! however if I want something special done I will ask Master and he will tell her.

Mary will work from 7am until 3pm Monday through Friday with weekends and holidays off and He will also be taking out the appropriate State and Federal taxes to make everything legal.

Mary will also be signing a LONG TERM DOMESTIC SLAVE CONTRACT which will describe what her duties will be hours,pay etc and also how to dress, behave and address Master and myself,She will address him as SIR as all times with no exceptions!! and she will address me as Brenda no exceptions.

There is Nothing SEXUAL about this arrangement as this is STRICTLY BUSINESS and not pleasure,and she will receive no pleasure from Master as He is not her owner He is her DOMINANT EMPLOYER! I am not allowed to tell her what to do but as I previously stated if there is something special I want from mary I will ask Master first and He will make the final decision and if he allows it He will in turn instruct mary what I want done.

I may talk with mary at any time but not distract her from her daily duties and she will be on a time schedule, she will also be allowed a hour for lunch from 12 noon until 1pm PAID! but she is expected to be back here at 1pm SHARP not a minute later or she will be reprimanded by Master,He treats her with RESPECT and DIGNITY but expects her duties to be complete by 3pm and the duties he gives her daily she will have no problems completing them.

At 3pm she will be dismissed from her duties and allowed to go home for the day and she will be paid every Friday by check as to the amount I do not know that will agreed upon by Master and Mary as He is paying her from his own checking account,and besides its none of my business.

I am happy Master has hired Mary fulltime she is reliable,obedient respectful kind and very PROMPT and listens well, so it is a win win arrangement. emoji

Hello Everyone

My wound in my back is still draining and I have taken the 3rd stronger antibiotic since last Friday twice a day total mgs 1600 so Friday I have a appointment over in New Hampshire at Dr.Phillips office for a wound check,at this stage the wound should be healing and again it isn't. I am suppose to be on this 3rd antibiotic for 3 weeks but it should have started to work by now and my wound is red,and sore and not healing.

I am beginning to be very ANGRY,FRUSTRATED AND AGGRIVATED because I have had ecoli inside my back for 1 month and continuing and 3 antibiotics. If this one does not clear up this infection once and for all Dr.Phillips better conduct another surgery to flush this out. I realize that surgery is the last resort but it getting to the LAST RESORT very quickly because I refuse to live on antibiotics just waiting for them to work when it is apparent they are not.I was told if I have a second surgery the incision will be longer deeper and some tissue will be removed and I will have to start at the beginning again with recovery but so be it.

This ecoli infection in my back should have been cleared up and have died by now after 1 month and working on 3 antibiotics but its not healing sooo soon Dr.Phillips will have to resort to a 2nd surgery because I am not going to keep living like I am now,i have had nothing but problems since my stitches were removed with the ecoli infection,and I cannot believe that the ecoli infection inside my back is good to have for 1 month and counting,Eventually it will travel to other areas in my body and then I will have huge complications from it so it needs to DIE now before it decides to spread. Something needs to work and soon..

You all have a FANTASTIC DAY And I wish you Love,Happiness,and Tranquility in your life along with peace. emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All

I was reading different profiles on the main page not reading the full profiles I was just looking around here and I have to admit some I read were interesting, some were unbelievable and some were just amusing, however this is what makes our world diverse. Diversity is what our world interesting and not boring, and when I was reading the mini profiles thought to myself I wonder what this individual is like in real life?

I asked myself a few questions, is this individual truthful in his or her profile?? Is what this individual posted really what they really want? Is this individual just here to pretend to be a Dominant/sub/slave/switch??? Or is this individual who he/she says they are??? Of course the only one who knows the answers to these questions are the individuals who made the profile and the people who knows them in real life.

Anyway, to me it does not matter because All the members here are looking for something and nobody has the right to JUDGE anybody for who they are and what they are seeking, only they know the real reason why they are here and nobody is WRONG as long as nobody hurts anyone else here everyone has a right to be here.

I think I have been honest here because I am not looking for anything except friends and i do have a few very nice ones who send me messages on occasion. For me personally, if I was seeking a Master today indo not think I would look anywhere online be here on collar space or any other BDSM site I would peruse a Master in real life only, it may take me forever but think that is the avenue I would take, and if I could not find the Master I was looking for on my own then maybe I would refer to the internet but it would be my last resort, looking in real life would be my first and for most option, but I have a good Master so I do not need to look anywhere and I will never look again, but I have already discussed that in my profile. emoji

So in closing I will say to everyone that we can learn from each other and everyone has crosses to bear some heavier then others and we are all important and deserve RESPECT and be treated with DIGNITY and we all should listen more and speak less because by doing so we will learn about others and how they feel and gain empathy and understanding and not be so quick to JUDGE. emoji

You all have a AWESOME Tuesday and many blessings to you, your loved ones and friends. emoji emoji emoji

Good Evening To All

I hope you all had a great day. emoji

Master and I were talking today on how far we have come pertaining to our relationship and everything we have been through especially with my back issues and this infection that does not want to die and clear up.

Its been hard on both of us but I thank God he is here with me because It would be so difficult for me to go through all this by myself. He is my biggest support system and my encouragement and inspiration and he makes my life complete and I am happy. He always sees the glass half full where I see it half empty. He helps me so much and puts everything in perspective for me when I see things in a negative way and I think this DAMN ECOLI in my back Is never going to die. I am blessed to have a Good, kind intelligent level headed Master who takes good care of me and my 2 girls/cats. Many good reasons why I will NEVER search for another Master when mine passes away,i will be content living alone for the rest of my life with my pets. emoji

You all have a wonderful night sleep well and hae sweet kinky dreams. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Sunday To All

Yesterday Master and I went to a friends birthday party and we had a wonderful time and it was VANILLA nothing to do with BDSM, My friend penny had a birthday party for her husband and his twin brother at their home and it was fun,She and rick have a beautiful home, The party was outside and everyone invited had a GREAT Time.

Master and I even brought food home. Rick and his twin brother Donny turned 50 yesterday and penny did a AWESOME Job decorating outside and the food was simply delicious. emoji Master and I had a wonderful time talking and laughing and hanging out with all the guests invited and there were pets there so I played with a little pup pug named willie he was full of energy and just the cutest.Ricks son brought his puppy pug to the party and I sat on the grass playing with him and I loved it he ran around and I picked him up and kissed him and he was also teething so he was biting my fingers and watch band lol it didn't bother me he was a little cutie,so our day was good.

Today Master and I are going to hang out at home and he is going to BBQ Burgers on the grill for dinner and we will play a little this afternoon,just a nice relaxing sunday at home with my Master and 2 cats/daughters. emoji

I wish you all a lovely sunday and I wish you all love,happiness,and peace in your lives. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All

I enjoy CSPAN 1-2-3 I like watching debates well as any member here knows who have read my profile and or journal entries knows I am attracted to MATURE GENTLEMEN as my Master, to me they represent wisdom, knowledge experience and a certain SEX APPEAL to ME well one of the democrats on CSPAN he is from New Jersey and is a MATURE GENTLEMAN and I told Master hmmm He is SEXY lol Master just laughed and said You are such SLUT FOR OLD MEN lolol I laughed so hard I thought my ribs would burst.. I cannot help it if I find MATURE GENTLEMEN SEXY I have always been attracted to MATURE Gentlemen years before I became involved in BDSM.

Before I was involved in this lifestyle I was in a ABUSIVE relationship with an IDIOT GUY my own age and I can honestly say He was the BIGGEST ASSHOLE I HAVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE and I still HATE HIM after all these yesrs, and when I finally was free from him and his VERBAL,MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE I vowed that NO MAN WILL EVER ABUSE ME AGAIN and I meant that and still mean that until the day I die.

Anyway, after been in a abusive relationship with a guy my own age I wanted a Man who was older and more Mature then I was someone who has been there and done that so to speak then when I bought my very first computer that's when the BDSM LIFESTYLE came to life for me and when I did my own research on BDSM I found out it wasn't about ABUSE nor is it all about SEX, so when instated reading information and taking notes on certain topics I was interested in I thought to myself infant this for me and my life, so when I gathered enough knowledge and information about this lifestyle I went searching for a MATURE MASTER to further my knowledge experience and training and it took me 2 years to finally find Master and you all know the rest by my reading my profile.

However, when I met Master I made it perfectly clear that if he EVER did anything I did not consent to then I would walk away because there would NEVER be ABUSE in our relationship I already went through it once and NEVER AGAIN will I go through it from any MAN and I meant it. I do not ever have to worry about abuse with Master because everything we do is safe, sane and consensual and we follow risk, aware consensual kink, and I am always SAFE with Master and trust him with my life.

This is why when Master passes away I will walk away from this lifestyle Never to return again and I will live out the rest of my life with my cats because I have no interest in seeking another MASTER or partner I have my ONE and my soul mate and will never have the kind of relationship I have with Master with any other Master and I could not love any other Master as much as I do mine, so living alone knowing I was loved, cared for respected and owned by 1 Master is enough for me. emoji

You all have a AWESOME Saturday, and enjoy your weekend. emoji emoji emoji emoji

TGIF

I started taking my 3rd stronger antibiotic today in hopes it will kill the ECOLI that wants to live inside my back and force it to drain and drain for the last month and it will not DIE and clear up. I pray that this 3rd antibiotic will work because if it doesn't I will have surgery again and this time the incision will be longer and tissue will be removed if that happens and it will mean a longer recovery time, so I pray to GOD that he helps me and this antibiotic will work so I do not need a second surgery. I have to take this for 3 weeks so time will tell, and Master is also hoping it works as well because He does not want me to go through another surgery and neither do i.

I hope you all are having a GREAT Friday and the rest of your day goes well. I wish you all Love, Happiness and Peace always. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,

I had a nice conversation with a female slave a little while ago and she stated she has looked for a MATURE MASTER as the one I have for 6 yerars with no luck, She is a little younger then myself but she herself wants a MATURE Master who has real life experience and knowledge, and she asked me where I met my Master and she was inspired by the fact that Master and I had a 12 year long distance relationship and NEVER Met before he moved in with me last year and she wants the type of a M/s relationship as the one I have.

I told her I met Master in a YAHELL CHAT ROOM not on collar me or collar space and we just built a strong, stable honest M/s relationship,i gave her some ideas how may look for a Mature Master,i told her to go to the ALT website and make a public profile since that is a BDSM dating site I told her to state honestly what she is looking for in a Mature Master such as qualities Personality,Likes Dislikes ETC she told me she has been looking here but all she found were guys who wanted SEX and a quick way to GET OFF so to speak, I told her not to waste her time looking here she wont find what she is seeking and she told me she found that out lol

I also asked her if there were any BDSM clubs in her Immediate area and she said NO! she lives in a small conservative town,i told her to search around online for reliable BDSM Dating sites but before she makes a profile do some back ground checking on the site and see how many people actually met someone through that particular BDSM dating website and then make her own decision as to if she wanted to place a personal ad on that site.

I said stay away from CHAT ROOMS! It was just LUCK that I met Master in a chatroom and I would not look for a Master in one today,she said she did that already and received the same responses QUICK SEX!! and CYBER! She thanked me for helping her and she said she will start searching for reliable BDSM Dating websites and doing back ground checks on the sites she visits,and she asked me if we could be friends here and of course we can be friends here,she can message me anytime day or night and she is always welcomed here as all members are welcomed here nobody is excluded. emoji emoji

She told me she will let me know how her search is going and I told her to please do that and I pray she finds the Master she is seeking. emoji She seems like a very intelligent sweet woman with a lot to offer the right MASTER and any MATURE MASTER would be PROUD to place a collar around her neck.

Good Day To All

Well, I still have the ecoli virus/infection inside my back so I have to start taking another antibiotic but this one is much stronger 800mgs for 3 weeks and if that does not kill it then I will have to have another surgery but this time they will have to take some tissue out of back, so I pray this new stronger antibiotic will kill the ecoli once and for all so I do not need another surgery,i can only pray it does.

I hope you all are having a FANTASTIC DAY and I wish you much love and happiness in your life today and always. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All

I am waiting for My culture results, I called Dr.Phillips Office this morning and left a message with his nurse to call me back when she receives the results, I am curious to know whether I have another infection in my back or not and if I need to be on another antibiotic, I am praying NO! I have no infection and NO I do not need to take another antibiotic but I will not know until I receive the phone call,and if I do not hear from Beverly by 3pm I will call the office back and see if I can talk with her,now it is just a waiting game.

I hope you all are having A GREAT Day I wish you much love,happiness,peace and tranquility in your lives always. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello everyone

Well I have some good news, at the hospital yesterday they did blood work and it all came back negative which Master and I were very pleased to know, the er doctor also took a culture to see if I have another infection developing inside my back, I have to call my surgeon tomorrow and get the results of the culture and if I do have another infection developing I will have to take another round of antibiotics not something I want to do but if I need to then I do.

What I would really like is for Dr Phillips to open up my back again meaning removing the scabs that have formed flush out my wound thoroughly then re stitch my back and start over again because then all infection if I do have any will be flushed out completely and I will be clean and sanitized inside my back and then wait 10-14 days and remove the stitches again but I do not think that will happen.

I am praying I do NOT have any infection developing inside my back again and I will have my answer tomorrow when I call my surgeons office, then on Friday I go back over to his office for a wound check to see if it is finally closing as it should have done already so again all BDSM play is put on hold just when I was starting to enjoy it, oh well once my wound finally receives a clean bill of health once and for all then Master and I can proceed with our play we started. Patience is a virtue so I have to wait a little longer I suppose DAMN just when play was becoming interesting and fun. Oh well it will be fun again in time.

O hope you all are having a great day and have a better night. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,

I think my infection in my back has returned. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Yesterday I felt moisture on my back so I checked and my wound is draining again and for the life of me I do not why or how because I was doing FANTASTIC the wound is scabbed over and today it is draining blood again, so I have to call Kristin the PA and hopefully she can see me today because if my wound is draining blood again then I am sure it is a infection, but I should NOT have any type of infection at this point,it should be all healed and closed but its not so I wonder if I need to take more antibiotics?

Kristin is going to be surprised that my wound is bleeding blood again and it hurts,I just do not know how infection crawled back into my back again? who knows, but I do know this needs to be addressed today so I hope when I call Kristin she can see me at alice peck day hospital in new Hampshire today because she needs to see it and determine what to do about it.I am so FRUSTRATED because at this point I should not have contacted any infections from anywhere because the wound should be closed completely and healed but it isn't so WHY!!

I will find out that answer hopefully today.Master is livid because this is happening again when it shouldn't.

Anywho.. You all have a GREAT Sunday stay well and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends. emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All

This weather we are having is CRAZY first its hot and humid and the next day it is cold and feels like fall, this summer has not started out very good and makes me wonder if the rest of our summer will be as unstable.

Master has informed me that I will not be able to have a ORGASM until further notice and YES I LOVE IT. It has been a long time since Master and I have played like this and I was begging him to deny me orgasms because I love feeling sexually frustrated for months and I love it when it becomes unbearable for me because I beg Master more and more and his response is laughing at me calling me a STUPID BITCH WHO DOES NOT DESERVE ANY SEXUAL PLEASURE and I agree. I asked Master if maybe he could put me in a chastity belt for long periods of time and he is thinking seriously about purchasing one because he also enjoys the fact I am sexually frustrated and go out of my mind after a couple of months without orgasms.

My goal is to NEVER cumm again and have Master take that privilege away completely and I NEVER will have any sexual pleasure again, He is the only One who will receive sexual pleasure from me but I get nothing. I really want to be sex free for as long as Master is alive and owns me. Master said he would highly consider that option if he purchases a chastity belt for me and I think he will. emoji

I hope you all have a FANTASTIC DAY and are well and may you receive many blessings daily. emoji emoji emoji emoji

I was looking at a female subs profile on the main page and I read one of her journal entries and I agree with her observations and her post.

She stated that Dominant Men here DEMAND to see pictures of female subs/slaves or see them on a cam to VERIFY who they are but they deny that same request,and she asked a few questions and to all of which I AGREE 100%

She asked if a sub has that same right to ask a Dominant for a picture or view them on a cam to verify who they are? and the answer is YES!!! a sub or slave has that same right to ask for verification if they are considering a Dominant or Master, and no Man or Woman no matter who they are or what title they hold should HIDE behind their computer and expect someone to give them a photo of themselves or view them on a cam if that individual has no intentions of doing the same in return.

A Dominant and sub/slave who is looking for a partner has a right if they are interested in someone to ask not DEMAND! a picture or ask to see them on a cam so they can verify who they are but has no right to DEMAND! a picture or view another person if they themselves are not willing to do the same in return,it just tells me they are not who they say they are and have a lot to hide.
So I agree with the female sub and her journal entry and she does have that right to ask a Dominant who she is considering for a picture or ask to view them on a cam if they are DEMANDING the same from her and by they way no DOMINANT has a right to DEMAND anything from any suib/slave they do not own to do anything because they do not own that sub or slave or have any claims to her and no sub or slave has to respond to any DOMINANT male or female who DEMANDS! anything of them or from them unless they actually own them and have a collar around their neck, until they have claim to a sub or slave they have no RIGHT to DEMAND anything and no sub or slave has to OBEY A Dominant just because they claim to be one online.

I had that experience when I was looking for a Master many years ago but I knew better so DEMANDING anything from me did not work,if they asked politely depending on what they wanted I would consider but DEMAND anything from me just because they thought they were entitled only had them IGNORED and BLOCKED by me.

Good Day To All,

Master has started to deny me orgasms and I LOVE IT!! after a long time without a ORGASM I begin to climb the walls but its something we both enjoy doing.He LOVES denying me orgasms and watching me BEG AND BEG just so he says NO!!! then He lughs and calls me a STUPID CUNT!! YES!! I get off on verbal humiliation and calling me names makes me go MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! and beg for more,and of course I agree with Master.Master gets on a power trip by denying me orgasms and loves to watch me in sexual frustration. Its FUN FUN!! emoji emoji emoji

I hope you all are having a GREAT Day and you are well. emoji emoji emoji emoji

I am so happy because I have lost 7 pounds so far I have gone from 186 to 179 and I will keep losing until I get to my goal weight again of 150 and by walking 3 hours a day 7 days a week I will reach that goal because I am determined, focused and disciplined on my health now and I will not stop walking 3 hours a day until I reach 150 pounds again.

I am feeling GREAT!! I am getting healthy, my back infections have healed from surgery and I have lost weight and it does not get any better then that. emoji

I hope you all are having a Wonderful day and I wish you love, happiness peace and tranquility today and always. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello To All

I hope you all are as Great as I am. emoji i feel like myself again before I had my back issue so I feel better then I have in 2 years. emoji .

Now that I can finally get over myself lolol emoji it is time to focus on other issues beside ME.

Master said and I quote, I know you are feeling better because you are now a PAIN IN MY ASS!! End quote lolol and all I can say is HELL YEAH I AM lol now I can be a bratty bitch once in a while and annoy the hell out of him lol trust me its fun entertainment for me emoji emoji

I have to record another audio message again I haven't done that in a very long time. I just came home from my 2 hour walk up at the local mall since it is not raining yet today. I enjoy walking 3 hours a day every day 7 days a week.Master walks with me for about 2 hours a day and I am impressed due to his age, and he can keep up with me but I do not walk fast so he can keep up with me.

I hope all members here are doing well and your lives are good and I wish you much love, happiness, peace and tranquility always. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Afternoon To All

I am happy to announce that I do NOT have to go back over to see Dr.Phillips until July 21st at 930am. The infections in my back are almost cleared up and I am finished with 1 of my antibiotics (cipro) and now I am slowly getting off the morphine. emoji so life is good.. Master is also very happy that we do not have to travel over to New Hampshire until july.

It is sad when one has to travel to another state to receive good quality health care, because I know without a doubt I would not have received the good quality health care I have received in New Hampshire, and as long as I was receiving good health care in New Hampshire then Master and I do not mind traveling over there.

I still walk 3 hours a day every day 7 days a week and I LOVE IT!!! I feel FANTASTIC!! and I am beginning to play with Master with more intensity that he enjoys but not to the point of S/M because I am NOT and never have been a PAIN SLUT!! but our play has been taken to a higher level that is more satisfying to Master and I have noticed he is a lot more happier because I can play on a higher level.

I hope you all are doing well and your week goes just as well and quick. I wish you many blessings and much love and happiness. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello Everyone,

Just wanted to pop in quick and say Hi! I cant stay Master and I have to head to the cemetaries for my family,I did not get to do it memorial day Weekend and I need to do it today before it starts to rain,But I hope you all are having a GREAT Weekend, Stay well, be happy and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends ALWAYS! emoji emoji emoji emoji

We all have 1 life to live,1 chance for true and unconditional love from 1 person who we trust with our lives, our secrets, our deep dark desires and with our hearts, and if we find that 1 soul mate to complete us and see beyond our faults and accepts us for who and what we are without judgment then we found the ONE.

Some of us never seem to find our ONE who completes us and fulfills us only a chosen few of us are fortunate but we never give up hope and we never stop trying or looking and for the chosen few who do find their ONE companion they feel something they can't explain or can they really fathom what they are feeling, it is strong emotionally and mentally but they know they found their soul mate.

I did find my ONE in life who completes me and fulfills me, one who knows my deep dark secrets and desires, I know He will not live forever and one day he will pass away and I will be left feeling empty from the inside out for I know I will NEVER find another Master like mine so I will go on with my life alone with my cats however in my heart I will know He loved me unconditionally and accepted me for who I am no matter how crazy I make him at times,for He knows now how loyal faithful and devoted to him I am and always have been even when we were in a long distance relationship for 12 years, He knows indo the very best I can to make him happy and in return he gave me the BEST of him, We have been through so much especially with my health issues but our trials and tribulations made is stronger and closer together.

In closing I want to say, that my wish for all members here that you find your ONE and if you have already you know exactly what I am saying and if not you will understand when you do and I say when not if because in this small world there is someone for everyone it make take alot of looking, time and patience but when you do find your ONE all of your hard work will be all worth it.

I wish you all love, peace, happiness and tranquility in your lives today and always. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello To All,

I am happy to say my infections are healing nicely and finally clearing up and I still walk 3 hours a day so life is good. emoji

I am heading in the right direction and now continue with the healing process. I feel good and I am slowing taking myself off the morphine now because I do not need it anymore,so I take away a little at a time so I do not go through with drawl, I would say in about another month I should be off the morphine completely if I have my way about it and I do. emoji

I cannot wait to feel what it is like without morphine in my system,to cleanse myself from the narcotic that I have been taking for so long will feel AMAZING I will be a different person, it is time for me to take my life back and cleanse my body but I do it slowly and safely. emoji

I hope you all are having a GREAT Day,and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends always. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All

I hope you all had a fantastic memorial day weekend emoji

Today I head back over to see Dr.Phillips for 12 noon so he can look at my wound and then make a decision what to do next. I hope I do not need to open up my back again and flush out the infection and then put more stitches back in and I will have to stay over night at the hospital again,i pray the wound is healing well and he will just extend the antibiotics but I will know in a few hours.The infections have set back my healing progress at least 3 weeks,i just want these infections especially the ecoli to die and go away.

I hope you all have a great day and many blessings to you, your loved ones and friends. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Happy Memorial Day

Master and I wish you all a very happy and safe holiday.

I think that my infection is finally clearing up, I have noticed that the fluid draining has almost stopped, and I thank god for that, its about time these infections dry up die, go away and never come back emoji

I go back over to Dr.Phillips office tomorrow for 12 noon and he will take. Look at it and give his opinion how it is healing. I think I am winning and the antibiotics are working. Master is very happy that the infections are clearing up as well. emoji

I feel GREAT despite the infections,i still walk 3 hours a day every day and I am losing weight, I will be 150 pounds in no time from 186 when I go back to my Doctor I will be curious how much more weight I have lost,i am happy to get healthy again and stay focused on my well being, and I have Master walking with me as well so we keep each other motivated and stay positive. emoji

I hope you all enjoy the memorial day holiday and let us all remember our fallen soldiers and families For they are the real HEREOS. emoji emoji emoji emoji

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND

I hope you all are enjoying the holiday weekend and having fun and being safe whatever you are doing. emoji

Master and I are having a nice quiet peaceful weekend together. He walks with me daily and for his age Master walks 3 hours daily as I do. I am so PROUD and I admire Him for wanting to sty healthy and help me stay healthy by walking daily. He is AMAZING to me. We walk nice and slow because power walking is hard on my joints so slow and steady wins the race so to speak.

Today Master is going to BBQ Chicken on our new grill and corn on the cob for dinner.

On Friday when I went back over to Dr. Phillips office to have my surgery wound checked Kristin the PA said that it looks good even though it is still draining the infection,i have to go back over on Tuesday for 12 noon and at that time Dr.Phillips will actually be there and he will take a look at it. Kristin also extended my Keflex/Antibiotic for 5 more days. If the wound does not heal then Dr.Phillips will have to go back into my back flush out the infection and stitch me up again and I will stay over night at the hospital, I am hoping that will not happen I do not want to be in the hospital again but time will tell.

You all enjoy the rest of your Memorial Day Weekend, stay safe and have fun whatever you do. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello To All,

Master and I want to wish all members here a very happy and safe Memorial Day Weekend. emoji

This afternoon Master and I have to head over to Dr.Phillips Office in New Hampshire for 3pm to see Kristin the PA so she can look at my wound.

It is still draining brown fluid mixed with blood and the wound is not closing there is a small slit at the bottom of my wound that is still open,i think the ecoli virus that is in my back is preventing the healing process from the inside out and will not allow the wound to close. I thought by now the antibiotics would start drying up the wound and clear up but it has not.The wound STINGS LIKE HELL!! and is still very sore and tender to touch and the fluid has yet to turn clear it is still brown but does not have the putrid odor to it. I will see what Kristin has to say about it.

However Kristin cannot put any more stitches in my back when I still have the the ecoli virus infection inside my back.i hope both my skin infection and the ecoli virus insoide my back clears up soon so I can continue with the healing process.

You all have a GREAT Friday and whatever you do this Memorial Day Weekend have fun and be safe. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello To All,

I think the infections are finally clearing up slowly, I am not draining as much as I did previously, but my wound is very sore,tender and it stings like HELL!! I have to go to Dr. Phillips office tomorrow at 3pm to see Kristin the PA so she can look at my wound and see how well it is healing. Another thing I am seeing is that the would is not closing I still have an open slit at the bottom of my wound where all the infection is leaking out and Master took a picture of it so I could see it and it is not closing I don't know if Kristin will have to stitch it up again or not. I don't believe she will at this time because it is still leaking the infection and blood,but I am wondering how long it will take for it to close???

Other then that I am doing GREAT!! emoji I am walking 3 hours a day every day even though I am toitally EXHAUSTED daily and could fall asleep in about 2 seconds lol I push on and keep active.

Hopefully the 2 infections especially the ecoli virus inside my back is drying up and will die soon. Once I see clear fluid coming out of my wound I will know the infectrion has healed up but I am still leaking brown liquid and blood but it does not smell putrid as it did, infact there is no odor at all so that is a good thing.

I hope you all are having a GREAT Day and you are all doing good in your lives. Enjoy the rest of your day. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello To All,

I want to take this opportunity to thank certain members here and you know who you are,who have left me messages wishing me well,doing some fact finding on the ecoli virus infection that I have inside my back and all the other kind words and thoughts.I really appreciate all of the get well wishes and good advice that I have received.

I want these certain members to know that they are always welcomed back here any time day or night and if you feel you want to send me a message please feel free to do so.i will always read them and reply. I have found out that there is as many good people here as there is FAKES and WANNABES and it evens out and if I ever had the opportunity to meet them in real life I would be honored to call them my friends in my REAL LIFE as I do here. So again THANK YOU! to certain members here for all your get well wishes,kind words good advice and fact finding for me..

You all have a FANTASTIC DAY everyone and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends. emoji emoji emoji emoji

I almost forgot, I was asked if the beautiful woman in my profile picture is me and all I can say is I WISH!! lol I am 51 years old and she looks like she is in her 30s. It is just a goth picture I found online and not all goth is dark there are some very beautiful goth pictures like the one in my profile. I also do not have red hair lol I color my hair because I am trying to grow old gracefully and I need all the help I can get.lol I color my hair dark brown which in turn comes out black,i need to cover up my gray hair lol but no the woman in my profile picture is not me. emoji

Good Evening to all,

I have started taking the cipro along with the keflex so hopefully with both antibiotics fighting against each infection I have outside and inside my back, they should kill the infections I have so I can continue with the healing process. I have been through more then anyone should with my back in the last 16 months then anyone should,i have suffered with PAIN, trouble walking and having my life stripped away from me and now dealing with a skin infection and ecoli virus inside my back,i would never want anyone to suffer and go through what I am going through an have gone through, however, I should be on the upside now once these infections die and dry up.

I can happily say I am still able to walk 3 hours a day and I LOVE IT!! and I have noticed that the top of my wound is beginning to scar over it is the bottom part of my wound that is still open and that is where the infection is flowing out, a little slit area that is not really closing yet, but I want it to drain until all of the infection is drained out.

I am praying within the next week both infections will be dead and dried up once and for all. emoji I hope you all have a good night sleep well and have sweet dreams. emoji emoji emoji emoji

well, I have 2 infections from my surgery, the first one is a skin infection that the keflex is taken care of then the second one is one that nobody would think anyone would get in the back but indo, the second infection I have inside my back is ECOLI can you believe it?? I have the ECOLI virus that everyone knows you obtain from eating under cooked meat inside my back..

Master and I are still in awwww over this, so now I am going up to Wilcox pharmacy and pick up CIPRO to kill the ecoli virus. When I told Master that I had the ecoli virus inside my back the first words out of his mouth were HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU GET ECOLI INSIDE YOUR BACK AND WHERE DID YOU PICK IT UP??

I asked the PA Kristin how I obtained ECOLI inside my back, and she told me I could have picked it up during the healing process especially after the stitches were taken out because my back was mot quite healed so the ecoli bug could have crawled inside even while the stitches were taken out because my back was and still is vulnerable and susceptible to infection.

To make this long story short,i have to finish taken my reflex for my skin infection and I have to start the cipro to kill the ecoli virus inside my back. So I have 2 infections one on the outside and one on the inside.talk about things that make you go hmmmmmm. emoji

I should be rid of both infections within the next week or so or at least I hope I will. Once both antibiotics work together to fight my skin infection and the ecoli virus infection. emoji

I hope you all have a fantastic day. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,

Master and I went back over to alice peck day Hospital this morning and the Keflex is not strong enough to kill the bug infection in my back because any activity I do makes it drain but that is what we all want because if the infection did not drain it would back up into my blood stream and I would really have serious problems,so the Doctor is going to call in a stronger antibiotic for me to kill this damn infection bug so it stops draining and clears up because it is a inconvenience.

Master and I went out yesterday and I had to cut out nice day short because I felt moisture on my shorts so Master and I went into bathroom so he could check my bandages and sure enough I gushed out more infection fluid so home we came so master could clean up my wound and change my bandages AGAIN!! and I could change my clothes but I run out of clothes quickly when I have to keep changing them due to my damn infection emoji emoji

Friday I have to go back over and see the Doctor again to check my wound and see if the new stronger antibiotic is working. I am waiting for the call to find out exactly what the antibiotic is and then tomorrow morning I will pick it up at Wilcox pharmacy. Needless to say this weekend has been FRUSTRATING and STRESSFUL for both Master and myself but hopefully once I start the stronger antibiotic it will KILL the infection bug dry it up and then I can continue with the healing process.

I Hope you all had a GREAT weekend and a better week ahead.. emoji emoji emoji emoji

I developed an infection from my surgery. I had to go back over to alice peck day Hospital yesterday,i am draining a brown liquid that looks like diarrhea mixed with blood and it has a putrid smell.I am on a antibiotic called Keflex 1 every 8 hours for 5 days I go back over to alice peck day hospital tomorrow for 10 am and at that time the Doctor will let Master and I know what type of bug/infection is in my back,however I feel much better today,i felt like CRAP yesterday and I had a lot of drainage it saturated my bandages and even my panties with this brown disgusting fluid mixed with blood.

I felt good enough to walk my 1 hour this morning,and I feel like myself again.its been a long tiring stressful weekend for Master and myself,He is the one who changes my bandages and wipes the fluid that is leaking and he does not mind the putrid smell,but when Master changes my bandages I feel like I am going to pass out because I know what that nasty brown fluid looks like and smells.its very NASTY!!! But Master will be happy to know when he gets up that I feel so much better today and resumed my walks. emoji

Yesterday I could hardly walk or do anything at all because whatever this bug/infection is made me soo sick and affected my walking and everything but today I can walk again without assistance and I am feeling like myself so I think the Keflex is KILLING this DAMN INFECTION BUG.

I hope you all are having a GREAT weekend mine is becoming better as the hours pass.Many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All
TGIF

Walking is becoming easier every day for me and I enjoy it very much. Walking allows one to clear their thoughts and think however.. sometimes thinking to much is not healthy for some and that includes me. In my life I have always been a pessimist, I always see the glass 1/2 empty instead of 1/2 full but I have been that way all of my life.

Master is a optimist that's why we are compatible with one another and balance each other,because when I start to talk about issues in a negative way he stops me quickly and reminds me that there is always a silver lining and a light at the end of every dark tunnel,He puts things in perspective for me,and one reason why I am so IN love with Him.His wisdom,his advice,his intelligence and knowledge leads me on a positive path in my life and keeps me focused. emoji

The way I see it by the time fall arrives I should be back to 150 pounds if not sooner with walking 3 hours a day 7 days a week,i usually do not set goals for myself because if I do not meet them then I become discouraged but getting back to 150 pounds from 186 is a goal I will meet and get too with a lot of determination and hard work on my part,and I will walk 3 hours a day until I reach 150 pounds,i may be exhausted by the time I go to bed but if I did not get tired and sore then I am not progressing or working hard enough,i work through being tired and sore daily and continue to walk 3 hours a day. emoji

I hope you all have a GREAT Friday and I hope it goes quickly for you so you can start enjoying your weekend. emoji emoji emoji emoji

I am feeling better as each day passes and I am a lot happier then I have been in 16 months. I walk up at my local mall outside and if I walk the outside perimeter twice it is 3 miles and I walk up at the mall twice a day early mornings and then late mornings for 1 hour each so it comes to 6 miles a day just at the mall,the last hour I do is at my house I walk up one end of the road and down the other for 1 hour but I am not sure of the mileage but whatever it is I have very good productive walks daily. I am focused, determined, and persistant because I am going to make up for all the fun things I could not do last year including more physical BDSM Play time with Master. I am slowly working my way up to more satisifying physical play time that Master has gone without because I was not Able to do it,although he never complained nor did he ever keep reminding me how un fulfilled he felt because he knew my circumstances, so now I focus more on Him then myself as it should be ALWAYS!! for 16 months it was all about ME! because it had to be but now it is all about HIM! and it makes me happy to know Master is happy and fulfilled. emoji

I hope you are having a nice Thursday and your day is going well and quickly.Many blessings to you,your loved Ones and friends ALWAYS!! emoji emoji emoji emoji

P.S. Once I return to 150 pounds again then I will not walk 3 hours a day I am only walking 3 hours a day to lose the 36 pounds I gained over the 16 months when I was not able to walk that much or for to long,but once I reach my goal weight again of 150 then I will only walk to maintain my goal weight,i will probably walk 3 times daily at 30 minutes each time just to maintain my weight but for now I need to walk more to lose the 36 pounds and I am doing it and will continue to do it until I reach 150 again.

Good Afternoon,

I am happy to say I had my 20 stitches removed from my back and I walk 3 hours a day,during the 16 months of suffering I did gain 36 pounds because I could not walk I went from 150 to 186 but I was happy I only gained 36 pounds in 16 months however when I was weighed at my dr.s office this morning I lost 3 pounds in 1 week from walking 3 hours a day so now my weight is going back down and I am going to get back into shape and lose the 36 pounds I gained.

I am focused on my health and losing my weight again and I have so much determination and I will not give up until I am 150 again but walking 3 hours a day every day it wont take me long to get back to 150.NO PROBLEM!! emoji

I hope you all are having a GREAT Day and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends.

Good Day To All,

Master ordered me to watch 50 shades of grey and then tell him what I thought of the movie good, bad and indifferent so I watched it yesterday and I have issues with the movie and I will tell you what they are as I did when I talked with Master.

The first issue I had with the movie is this SUPER RICH SEXY 27 year old business Man who in my opinion was arrogant and self centered, the SEXY 27 year old business Man is more then okay with me but in reality how many young DOMINANTS and DOMINANTS in general are SUPER WEALTHY who owns his own fleet of cars helicopters Etc Master and I have been to BDSM events and we have met good people Dominants subs/slaves switches and all the Male and Female Dominants we have met I can guarantee are NOT super WEALTHY and does not own a fleet of cars and helicopters and they were not arrogant,confidant and strong but not arrogant and self centererd,so to me the DOMINANT in the movie is a FANTASY Dominant not a DOMINANT in REAL LIFE. Maybe there are WEALTHY DOMINANTS male and female but I have never met them and who in the HELL is that wealthy in 2015.i mean SERIOUSLY???

The second issue I had with the movie is the submissive, in my personal opinion seemed to needy and naïve and PATHETIC. She seemed like she had some self esteem issues and I was not impressed with how a submissive was portrayed, Again in reality a sub or a slave is STRONG! and knows what she wants and has good self esteem and does not act like a scared little mouse nor is a sub or slave that NAIVE,because with all the information about BDSM and I am talking about good reliable information from books and the internet there is absolutely no reason why a new sub and slave should be naïve,if they do their research before seeking a Dominant gain knowledge beforehand and take notes and go over them by the time they are ready to seek a DOMINANT/MASTER they have a pretty good idea what they are looking for in a DOMINANT they have a very good idea what BDSM is truly about and they will learn about their feelings and what role they feel is right for them.

So I did not like the way the DOMINANT and SUBMISSIVE was portrayed in 50 shades of grey.

What I did enjoy about the movie is the DOMINANTS play room and all of his toys, I enjoyed the contract concept and agree with contracts because it defines rules, boundries, hard and soft limits and what is expected by both the DOMINANT and SUBMISSIVE and I enjoyed the control aspect etc but as far as how a GOOD EXPERIENCED DOMINANT was portrayed and the submissive was portrayed seemed FAKE and FANTASY and if I had to rate this D/s movie on a scale from 1-10 I would give it a 4,because it just seemed FAKE and not REALISTIC to me, but these are all of my personal views and opinions and does not reflect on others.

50 shades of grey could have been a good movie if the director has portrayed the DOMINANT and SUBMISSIVE realistically and not base the Dominant and submissive as a couple of FANTASY INSTEAD OF Reality, which is a pity because if a individual who is curious and interested in this lifestyle saw this movie and thought it was based on FACTS meaning they think that the DOMINANT and SUBMISSIVE are relly suppose to act that way would be highly disappointed when they did more research themselves and found FACTS that contradict what the movie portrayed then the NEW Dominant or submissive would have a light bulb go off in their head and say to themselves THIS MOVIE IS NOT BASED ON REALITY BUT FANTASY BECAUSE THE INFORMATION I RESEARCHED NEVER STATED ANYTHING THAT THE MOVIE PRESENTED!! the only way to view 50 shades is entertainment purposes ONLY! and not base it on FACTS or understand that all DOMINANTS are SUPER WEALTHY and own a fleet of expensive cars and a helicopter or the submissive is this scared little mouse who is totally naïve to what BDSM is really about and afraid of her own shadow.

Good Day To All,

I hope all the beautiful moms had a fantastic mothers day and younger pampered and spoiled because you deserved it as all the dads will next month emoji

I cannot wait until Wednesday so my stitches will come out and hopefully I can drive again emoji . I was asked how Mary our domestic slave Master hired is doing, I can happily say Mary is doing a GREAT job and as soon as I can start driving again it will help. Master is keeping Mary fulltime until I am able to lift again then she will go to part time.

Master wants to her employed so she has a job and she likes working for Master, the treats her with RESPECT and DIGNITY as I do as we NEVER make her feel uncomfortable in our home, then only thing she does note have to do now is stay at our home 24\7 since I have recovered quicker then we all thought Mary just works a straight 8 hours then she can go home and she has off on weekends. Master pays her well and by check, Master has a program on his computer that shows home how much taxes he takes out of her pay state federal and Medicare, and Mary also receives pay stubs attached to her check so she knows how much taxes Master takes out so next year she can file her taxes. Master makes her pay all legal with the correct taxes taken out of her pay emoji

I am also walking a little more every morning I am working myself up to 1 hour in the morning today I walked 50 minutes so I am almost there, then my evening walk will be the same or close to it. emoji

You all have a great Monday and I hope it foes fast for you. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

To all the beautiful intelligent mothers today,i hope your day is as special as you are and I hope all the mothers get pampered, spoiled and get a much needed break from your daily and weekly chores and let your family do it for you. You are entitled to 1 day a year to rest, relax and let others wait on you since you take care of your families 363 days a year. emoji

I wish all the moms here a very happy and blessed day. emoji emoji

Here are some roses for all the beautiful moms here. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Saturday To All,

I enjoy my morning walks alone it clears my head and its peaceful. I walk up and down my road where I live, I walk down to a pepsi plant that is closed now and a supply company has it,then I walk the other way down to a dealer ship at the other end,i walk slow so the impact on the road is not hard on my feet, legs and back today I did 40 minutes,so it was productive.

Next Wednesday I get my stitches out and then my back can finish the healing process, and maybe I will be more comfortable without 20 stitches. emoji

I hope you all enjoy your Saturday and tomorrow is MOTHERS DAY! and since I am a mother to feline kids Master is taking me out to dinner. He is thoughtful that way, and not to BRAG but I will lol I AM A DAMN GOOD MOTHER TO MY CATS/KIDS! emoji Even though I am not a Mother to HUMAN KIDS I am to FELINE KIDS! they are spoiled rotten by me and Master.i do not care what they do as long as they do not fight I do not allow them to fight other then that they can do whatever they want when they want. emoji

The advantages of having pets for kids is you don't have to send them to school buy them clothes cell phones computers cars ETC and you don't have to worry if they are doing drugs or getting involved with the wrong kids, and if you have them spayed or neutered (as mine are spayed) you don't have to worry about them becoming pregnant.so there are many advantages to owning pets as kids and I cannot live without my cats/kids,i will always own a pet.

Enjoy Your day everyone, and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends.

. Hello to all,

I hope you are all doing well. I am much better then I have been in a long while. emoji I walk daily then only problem I am having is the pain in my legs that run up to my butt area but the more my back heals I am sure the pain will subside. I work through the pain and when my doctor takes my stitches out next Wednesday my back will heal quicker I am on the mend from surgery.

I see my surgeon June 2nd for my first follow up appointment and I cannot thank him enough for giving me my life back. He did a fantastic job on my back and he was such a blessing to me to finally get fixed after 16 months of suffering. Dr.Phillips in my eyes is a SAINT. He is what a compassionate, kind experienced surgeon should be and we should have more just like him. emoji

I hope you all have a GREAT day and many blessings to you, your loved ones and friends. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,

I Just took my morning walk and it was refreshing,I do not go by miles I go by time,i walk about a 1/2 hour at a time and I am working myself back up to 1 hour and a 1/2 daily what does the time mean in miles I have no idea as I stated I do not go by miles walked I go by the time I walk. I LOVE to walk I have since I lost my weight a long time ago and I go at my own pace,and the best thing about my walks now is I need no assistance from anyone or anything I walk by myself and it feels FANTASTIC!! emoji

I was asked by a member if I have watched 50 shades of grey and I haven't I could take it or leave it I guess. I would watch it and see what its all about but that is about it. The BDSM Movie that I have and own is THE STORY OF O! to me its pretty extreme and nothing I would enjoy especially being beaten as she was. I am not a PAIN SLUT or a MASOCHIST! I enjoy the mental aspect of BDSM More then the physical aspect,but don't get me wrong I enjoy playing with toys with Master but what stays with me for days after play is the mind games/MIND FUCKS! the mental manipulation and verbal humiliation is what excites me and lasts longer then any welt would for me.

Mind Games can be pretty intense and it makes you think will he really do what he threatens or not? and if I do not OBEY will Master really punish me this way? its GREAT! to me and mentally and emotionally it can be draining depending how extreme Master plays His mind games with me and since He has many years of experience He is VERY VERY GOOD! with mind manipulation and humiliation and I mean VERY GOOD! and I LOVE IT! but getting back to 50 shades of gray,if the spirit moves me I might watch it if not then it does not matter to me,but I am a little curious about the movie and want to see what all the hype is about but as far as relating to the movie not so much as I do not relate to the story of O to me those movies are for entertainment and I do not read to much into them or think these are the ways BDSM is suppose to be practiced because I realize we are all different with different needs wants desires ETC and your way is the right way there is no right or wrong way there is just the SAFE way and YOUR way and what ever makes you and your partner happy.

I hope you all enjoy your Thursday and your day goes well. and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello Everyone,

I went to see my Doctor this morning and she said OH MY GOD WHO IS THIS WOMAN WHO HAS WALKED INTO MY OFFICE WITHOUT HER WALKER? I DONT KNOW HER!!! lolol She cannot believe how fast I have recovered from my surgery a week ago and she said what a blessing after all I have been though I am amazed as well I feel GREAT! of course I am sore but nothing like the pain I felt for 16 months. I am truly blessed indeed and happy, and so is Master I have my life back and now I move forward with my recovery and get even better.

I hope you all are having a FANTASTIC DAY! and may God always bless You,your loved ones and friends. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,

I am very happy that I do not need PT,I was chatting with a Male Dominant and he asked me if I need PT and I told him no and the reason why I do not need it is because my surgery was more on my spinal cord not my whole back so I do not need PT and I am very thankful for because the healing process hurts enough with 20 stitches which is VERY uncomfortable and the black and blues I have due to bruising from surgery.

I am not allowed to drive until I get my stitches out sometime next week and I cannot lift anything over 5 pounds until my back heals.However I feel much better then I have in 16 months the pain I feel now is from my surgery and the healing process which will go away with time and once I get my stitches out my back will feel much better and I can get comfortable more but I am walking with no assistance compared to using my walker or Using Master as my crutch,I mean I need help getting in and out of the vehicle and I need help with repositioning myself in bed but as far as walking I do not need assistance. emoji

I am glad I cannot see my wound because it would make my stomach upset but it doesn't bother Master,he checks it twice a day to make sure there is no infection, discharge and make sure my stitches are still solid, and this was a funny thing he said to me and I did not take this the wrong way but Master told me that the black and blues on my back make me look BEAUTIFUL lolol I said thanks a lot Master I am glad my bruises excite you and he laughed and said you are welcome honey and they do lolol emoji emoji emoji emoji

Anywho.. I hope you all are doing well and I am moving forward with my recovery and getting better every day now and the better I feel and better Master feels so peace,harmony and tranquility is back again.You all enjoy your day and many blessings to you,your loved ones and your friends. emoji emoji emoji emoji

HELLO TO ALL!!

My surgery was a HUGE SUCCESS!! and now I am in the healing and recovery process. I am very very sore and my legs ache but ice and morphine help me with that.I have about 15 stitches that will come in in 2 weeks,and My Surgeon Dr.Phillips has a tube running from inside my back around into my stomach so the spinal fluid will continually drain and tethered spinal cord was cut as well.

I am walking without any assistance from Master or my walker I have feeling back into my feet again and my balance is much better now. I cannot praise Alice Peck Day Hospital or the staff enough,they treated me like a QUEEN and were very kind compassionate and caring and the food was very good as well.

My Surgeon Dr.Phillips is a SAINT in my eyes he gave me my life back and 1 quality I admire in him is the fact He is HUMBLE and does not give himself any credit for what he does so well, He is very kind and compassionate as all Doctors should be but many LACK.

Master is so thrilled with my surgery and says my wound looks very good,When my stitches come out in 2 weeks then my back will heal quicker.I am happy with the results and ADMIRE Dr.Phillips and all the staff at Alice Peck Day Hospital in New Hampshire and would recommend both to anyone who wants HIGH QUALITY CARE and one of the BEST NEURO SURGEONS in New Hampshire.

I pray You all are doing well and your life is going as you want it to. I am happy to be home and back here with my friends. I wish you all LOVE HAPPINESS,and PEACE in your life today and always.

The hospital called me and there is a scheduling change so I need to be at the hospital tomorrow morning at 11:30 am instead of 1pm so Master and I will be leaving around 9-9:30am to arrive by 11:30am but I want to say to my few friends I have here take care of yourselves and THANK YOU for all your support,encouragment and kind words and I will return when I am discharged from the hospital hopefully by this weekend if all goes well but I probably won't be coming back online until next week some time depending how I feel but know you will be in my thoughts and I truly appreciate your friendship and kindness. God Bless you all and I pray you all remain well. Until we meet again. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good day to all

24 hours until surgery day and YES I am VERY VERY NERVOUS but if I wasn't I would have a problem but I have one of the BEST neuro surgeons around New Hampshire so i trust him and his judgments.

If I have to travel to my neighbor state of New Hampshire to receive better quality care then so be it I will and am traveling 1 and a 1/2 hours to West Lebanon New Hampshire to a small hospital called Alice Peck Day.

Since Dr.Phillips is one of the best neuron surgeons in New Hampshire from Vermont then so be it and Dr Phillips did not have to take my case because I am on Medicaid due to the fact I cannot work because of my tethered spinal cord, but he did and it says alot about him as a qualified Neuro surgeon and a HUMAN BEING. I Have the up most RESPECT and ADMIRATION for him and there should be more Specialist like him, one who cares more about his patients then the money he will receive from his successful surgeries.I am ready for this, Master is ready for my surgery to happen.

You all have a fantastic day and I will return tomorrow morning before I go to the hospital.God Bless you, your loved ones and friends. emoji emoji emoji emoji

FYI the woman in my profile is NOT me I found the Goth picture online and uploaded because I thought it was tactfully beautiful.

Master is my biggest inspiration and my support he is also my biggest means of encouragement, I do not know what I would do if He was not here with me, no wait yes I do know what I would do, not have my back surgery because I would not have anyone to drive me over and back stay with me for moral support at the hospital or take care of me when I am discharged. Master is my life line and I NEVER take him or what he does for me for granted,i appreciate him and all he does for me and I thank him daily, He is the reason I can get my back surgery on Wednesday because he is here living with me so i have someone to take care of me and from the kindness of his heart hired Mary our domestic slave to take over my chores and take care of my 2 girls/cats until I can resume the duties myself and he is also paying her out of his own bank account all I have to do is get this surgery done and recover he has taken care of the rest for me.

To me He is what a GOOD RESPONSIBLE EXPERIENCED MASTER is and is doing everything right he knows his responsibilities as my Owner and Master and has his priorities straight and I am totally IN love with him and I thank GOD every day for bringing him to me.He is my life and everything good in my life and all I ever want and need in a MASTER and Partner. emoji

Good Day To All

48 hours until my back surgery and I am becoming more and more anxious and nervous, but I know it has to happen, will there be a guarantee that my back surgery will be 100% successful? NO there is no guarantee it will either be successful or it will not, however doing nothing and living on oral morphine isn't working or helping so I need to take the chance and risk and pray my back surgery will be successful.

If I can regain 50% of my life back then I will be happy and if I have to continue to take oral morphine occasionally I can accept that, its alot better then taking 1 and a 1/2 twice a day 7 days a week and if I can walk and do the things I enjoy doing without paying for it later on by PAIN then I will be happy, in other words even a small increase of success from my back surgery will make me happy and if by some remote chance it fails completely then I am no worse off then I am right now but I am not going to think that way,i need to go into surgery with a positive attitude and FAITH in Jesus Christ that he will heal me so I can feel better.

Master and I are ready for this to happen, we have been ready since December 1st the first time I was suppose to have surgery so 4 months later both Master and myself are certainly ready for my surgery to happy .

Mary our domestic slave is preparing to come to my home and start her full time domestic duties she will arrive Wednesday morning around 9am so she will be here when Master and I leave for the hospital at 10:30,I will miss my girls/cats very much but I have their pictures in my track phone so at least I can see them. Master will call back here to check in with Mary and get an update how my girls/cats are doing while I am in the hospital then give me a report, he is doing it for my benefit so I won't worry about my girls/cats. emoji

I hope you all have a blessed day and your Monday goes well and fast. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Sunday To All

3 more days until my back surgery and YES I am getting very nervous but I know I have to get this done. No more cancellations no more road blocks standing in the way its time. emoji

On a different issue I had a message from a naked male sub asking me to go on Skype and play with him,i informed that Master does not allow or permit me to cyber cam or play with ANYONE male and female so he wanted me to ask Master if all 3 of us could play together on cam well if I am not allowed or permitted to Play with anyone what makes him think all 3 of us would play online??? I told him I asked Master and he said NO Master and I are not into CYBER BDSM we conduct BDSM in REAL LIFE ONLY and not with just anyone or strangers plus I am in no condition to play period I am having back surgery in 3 days so playing is the last thing I am thinking about, needless to say he never came back.

He also said he read my profile?? Really he did??? Hmmmmm I don't think so because if he did he would know how completely LOYAL FAITHFUL and RESPECTFUL I am to my Master and NOTHING in my profile states I am here to find a play partner male or female or want to play on cam with anyone he would have known that if he actually read it. Oh well its done and he did not return.

I am blatantly honest here I do not lie play head games or mislead anyone here what my true intentions are being here, The friends I have here know exactly what I am doing here and there is no underlining motive I am just here to post in my journal and chat with others who share my interests nothing more then that,i would NEVER EVER think of going behind my Masters back and play with anyone or even attempt to play with anyone and I have no cam anyway and have no interest in wanting one, if Master wants me to play with anyone he will tell me and buy me a cam but he doesn't so I don't.

My intentions are of INTEGRITY and SELF RESPECT not of being another CYBER SLUT OR WHORE,who wants to GET OFF ONLINE so to speak. I Take this lifestyle seriously and my role seriously this is not some fantasy for me its how I live my life and the choice I made freely long ago some people want to have fun with this lifestyle and that is fine some do but I am not one of those people I wanted to find a MATURE Master with years of real life experience and knowledge so I may grow and learn and I found him and I am happy with him and I love him and have for many years of I did not our 12 year long distance relationship would have ended years ago and he would have NEVER come to Vermont to live with me so we both take this lifestyle seriously.

I RESPECT everyone and their lifestyle and we are all different with different wants, needs activities and none of them are WRONG we all conduct this lifestyle in a way that suits our needs and wants and what makes us happy and being with 1 Master is what makes ME happy and serving 1 Master only is also what makes me happy

I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday and I pray you all find what you seek to make you happy and if you have found that special partner I wish you all the luck, happiness and love in your journey and your partner fulfills your needs and vise versa.I will return tomorrow. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Saturday to everyone

4 more days and its SURGERY time am I getting nervous HELL YES!!! But I know this needs to get done. Its time to do this because if I don't have this back surgery in about another 5 years or so I will be in a wheelchair and I will NOT allow that to happen because Master could not take care of me if I cannot walk, I mean he could by hiring a nurse but I do not want that and will not consider that option, I would be nothing but a burden on him even though he would disagree with me,but I do not want to be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life so I have to be totally dependent on another person for my personal care.

During recovery is to be expected but I will be able to get up and take care of myself such as bathing the only things I will be restricted doing is lifting over 5 pounds for a month and not driving for a month while my back heals and if it takes a little longer to recover then so be it I have the entire summer to recover before winter returns again and I will be walking as much as possible because if I don't then blood clots will form and then I will be in serious trouble and Master will take me out of the house for as long as I can tolerate it and I will have our domestic slave Mary taking care of all the chores and Master will take care of me and my wound until my back heals.

So things will be okay everything is taken care of and thought out and put into motion all that is left is getting my surgery done and in 5 days it will be.

You all have a Great Saturday and enjoy your weekend whatever you may do. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,
I was talking with Master earlier today and I told Him I am mentally,emotionally,and very much physically ready for my back surgery to happen.I just want it done so I can start my recovery. I am hoping that everything goes well without any complications and I can be discharged from the hospital next weekend because I will be anxious to get back home with my girls/cats. I will miss them very much. emoji

I know for a fact they will be happy to see me.Mary our domestic slave has been I informed she will become full time when I get home from the hospital until I recover.She will start full time actually the day I go into the hospital next Wednesday,She will take over all domestic duties until I recover and can resume them myself. She will arrive next Wednesday about 9:30 am because Master and I will be leaving for the hospital at 10:30am. I have to be at Alice Peck Day at 1pm and it take about 1 and a 1/2 hours to get there so if Master and I leave at 10:30 we should arrive by 12 noon and it will give me an hour to get into the right mind set for surgery.

The surgery will take 2 hours to complete then I will be brought to my room and Master will be right there with me and he will be staying at a local hotel or motel not far from the hospital and he will call mary to check in and see how things and my girls are doing back here.

I will be happy to come home start my recovery and gain my life back again and hopefully enjoy some of the summer that is my plan and also when its time to wein off the oral morphine and cleanse my body of the narcotic that I have been taking far to long.i can imagine how good I will feel when my body is cleansed of the morphine once and for all but it will take time because my back has to completely heal first before I even think of getting off it but it will happen slowly.

I hope you all have a lovely night and I will return tomorrow. Many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Have a good night everyone, sleep well and have sweet dreams, I will return tomorrow. emoji emoji emoji emoji

I am really going to miss my 2 girls/cats while in the hospital and I wish I could bring them with me. emoji emoji But I have pictures of both of them on my cell phone so at least I can see their pictures. and I wish I could talk with them on my cell but they cant talk lol Mary our domestic slave will be taking care of them while I am in the hospital and Master will call back home and check on them.

Baby Girl is my big fat cat that was a stray who I adopted or rather she adopted me and when I lay down in the afternoon she will climb on my stomach and we sleep it is so nice and my other baby sissy is her name she is 15 years old and still acts like a kitten and she is healthy she loves the attention I give her but she is not one to sleep with me but she loves to be near me and with me,they love me as much as I love them but I will be lonely without my girls because I am really never away from them for to long just when I go out and do what little chores I can do or if Master and I go out to dinner or for the day but never 24 hours or longer so I will miss them so much but I will look at their pictures on my cell and that will make me smile. emoji Master will update me how they are doing when he calls mary but I know she will take good care of them and treat them well,she is very good with them,so I wont have to worry about them.

Master is really going to call back here at home for my benefit so I know my girls are doing well and they are happy and getting the love and attention they are used to receiving from me and I know once I am discharged from the hospital and I get home they will be so nappy to see me and I will be THRILLED to see them too.I am just happy I am finally getting my surgery done,its been a long 2 year struggle with many road blocks and 3 cancallations so now I am ready for it to happen.

Have a good night everyone take care of yourselves and each other. emoji emoji emoji emoji

HAPPY THURSDAY

Master and I conducted a little mild scene yesterday notning HEAVY or EXTREME because my body could not handle it and I have to admit it went very well.It contained ALOT Of VERBAL HUMILIATION (Something I Live for) some light bondage,Manipulation,mind games ETC just light play not to much on the physical side,however I did wear a ball gag which I ADORE and light spanking with a paddle but nothing to bruise me or leave marks because I am going in for back surgery next Wednesday and my body could not tolerate heavy S/M and I am not a fan of S/M I am more into the B/D aspect more then the S/M aspect I have NEVER been a PAIN SLUT even before my health issues I am not into fire play torture,hard beatings or anything like that.i am to old for that kind of BDSM Play if I was 20 years younger and healthier I think I could tolerate it but not now at 51 with health issues

The scene Master and I did yesterday was PERFECT and it was refreshing and erotic and was good for both of us, We both were happy..I am waiting until I have recoverfed then I can do more physically but I enjoy the Mental and emotional BDSM more then the PHYSICAL aspect of BDSM Because physical marks fade with time but mental scars lasts longer and it puts you in a different frame of mind and lasts much longer I love the manipulation and verbal HUMILIAITON does more for me then any heavy torture could but we are all different with different likes dislikes wants needs ETC and that is what is so GREAT about this lifestyle the diversity we can all learn from one another and gain more knowledge and experience.

You all have a Fantastic day I will return later. God Bless and Take care of yourselves. emoji emoji emoji emoji

I just pre-registered myself into Alice Peck Day Hospital and I have to be there next Wednesday at 1pm so that is GREAT! Master and I wont have to be there first thing,and He can sleep a little longer so now everything is set and I AM READY,WILLING AND ABLE TO GET THIS SURGERY DONE! emoji emoji

Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood a beautiful day in the neighborhood, would you be mine could you be mine wont you be my neighbor?? hahahahahaha!! yeah I know this site is not MR. RODGERS NEIGHBORHOOD lolol but its how I feel today lol Mr.Rodgers wont know how to handle BDSM it just was not his style but he was AWESOME for children because I used to watch him and I liked it.

however my interest have changed since I am an adult or they better have by now I am 51 if not I really have some deep rooted issues I need to address immediately lol ahhhhhhhhhhh!! its so nice to be happy and relieved knowing my surgery is exactly 1 week from today,i have to call at 9am and pre- register myself 1 last time,then I am good to go next Wednesday and I am mentally,emotionally spiritually and certainly physically ready now I have been ready for 4 months but now it will actually happen,so life is good again. emoji emoji

I pray you are all doing well,and I thought it was time to post a picture to my profile and not just quotes,i found some really cool gothic/fantasy pictures and I down loaded them and saved them so now every couple of days I can change my picture,i love the one that is posted now the EYES!!! of the Woman and her kitty are GEORGOUS! I was drawn to that picture and decided to post it,and the others I found are just as beautiful,i am into goth and vampirism so dark art is what I enjoy. emoji

I will be back after I pre-register and let you know what time I need to be at the hospital next Wednesday.You all enjoy your HUMP DAY!! and know I think you are AWESOME! and SPECIAL! in every way. emoji emoji emoji emoji

I Feel like a heavy weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I can actually relax and not worry or be stressed and I don't have to think about my back surgery because it is finally going to happen, no more road blocks, no more cancellations no more rescheduling NOTHING I feel free of all the struggling I have been through since the beginning of this ordeal.

Master is also feeling alot more stress free, His mood his behavior and personality has done a 360 he is happier laughing more and smiling things I have not seen in a very long time, all due to the fact that surgery is going happen. The only thing I have to do tomorrow morning at 9am is call and pre register myself 1 last time and for the rest of this week until next Wednesday Master and I can just relax and enjoy our time together and I am even in a playful mood, something I have not been in the mood for for a very long time so Master and I are going to conduct a light scene tomorrow and see how well it goes because I am HAPPY and feel FRISKY lol WOW Frisky I did not think I would feel this way for a long time yet but I am glad I am IN THE MOOD so to speak and Master is as well. emoji emoji emoji

You all have a GREAT NIGHT sleep well and have sweet dreams and I will post again tomorrow after I find out what time I need to be at the hospital and let you all know. emoji

I want to share with you a weekly tradition Master and I have and it has NOTHING to do with BDSM it has everything to do with DONUTS!! lolol Yes you read it correctly I said DONUTS!!! lolol We have a local bakery in Rutland called Jones DONUTS OH MY GOD they are to die for I swear, so every Friday Morning I go and buy donuts and Master and I have DONUT DAY!! but because Master has diabeties I have to buy Him surgar free donuts but even though the donuts are surgar free they are simply sinful and delicious because I had a piece of his sugar free donuts and I have to admit they are just as good as the coconut frosted donuts I buy for myself but this will be the last week for us to have DONUT DAY because next week is my surgery and I am not sure when I will be discharged,i am hoping either Friday or Saturday so I think if I stay at the hospital on Friday or get discharged maybe in the afternoon I will order a couple of donuts for breckfast from the kitchen on Friday they wont be asgood as JONES but they will do until I get home,and Master can still have donuts on Friday morning as well.

He is staying at a hotel or motel close to alice peck day hospital so he will be at the hospital in the morning and mary our part time domestic slave will be here at home taking care of my 2 cats/girls and the home,Master will call back here and get updates from mary,she will be a fulltime domestic slave when I am discharged from the hospital and Master can focus all his attention on taking care of ME! and cleaning my wound in my back and helping get around.

But I will miss FRIDAY DONUT DAY!! until I arrive back home but Master and I can still have DONUT DAY if I am still at the hospital next Friday,it wont be the same but it will work temporarily until I am discharged. emoji

Good Day Everyone,

I want to also take this opportunity to thank my friends here for all your support,thoughts,prayers and very sweet compliments,when One is in crisis you know who your TRUE FRIENDS are and who are FAKE and just want to be around in good times,and FAKE FRIENDS I do not want need or accept, I live by the old saying BE REAL OR BE GONE!! but I have to admit the few friends I have made here are worth 100 FAKE FRIENDS who come around when they want something or hang around when I am feeling GOOD! and even though I have NEVER met anyone here face to face the people I have met I would welcome into my REAL LIFE in a heart beat and it would be an honor to be friends with them and hang out with them REAL TIME!

I do not need pictures of what my friends look like because I REALLY DONT CARE! it does not matter to me what people look it what matters to me is how they treat others and if they are RESPECTFUL Kind and has just a little intelligence,and I have met a chosen few here who I ADMIRE and like very much. We may not chat daily but it is not necessary to chat daily I know they come around when it is convenient for them and that is fine with me,I know who my friends are here and so do they.

So I say THANK YOU! for your friendship,your insight,your advice which I heed and take seriously,i also thank you for all your support thoughts and prayers because what I have been though in the last 2 years with my back has been long,painful and not fun for me but since you came into my life with your unconditional friendship and kind words have made my life happier and easier to go on.

I LOVE YOU! my dear friends and you all know who you are,and may God send his many blessings down upon you,your families and your close friends.You are BEAUTIFUL inside and out.and AMAZING! and a blessing in my life. emoji emoji emoji emoji

I want to take this opportunity to thank my MASTER Here publically because through all of my health issues He has been my ROCK,my SUPPORT, my ENCOURAGMENT and my INSPIRATION, He is always here to help me and understand how I feel and never complains of BDSM play I cannot do due to my back,He listens to me when I want to SCREAM at the world and he offers his shoulders when I need to cry and he holds me and whsipers I know my sweet slave but things will get better I PROMISE. When I need extra assistance to walk he is here so I may hold on to him,and he hired a part time domestic slave to help me with my daily chores and take them over when I come home from the hospital until I can resume them on my own.

He is always thinking what he can do to make my life easier,and happier and is the first One to offer his hand.He is AMAZING and I Love Him deeply and I am IN Lover with Him deeply,He is my guardian angel and I thank God every night He brought Him to me and Master knows that I will NEVER EVER seek another Master when He passes away and most likely I will be alone the rest of my life with my cats/kids because I have no interest in any other Man/Master mine is the only Master for me.

So Master my darling, THANK YOU!! for YOU!! For all that you are to ME! and for Everything you do to show your LOVE and RESPECT Toward Me. and I will forever be your SLAVE! My OBEDIENCE and LOVE will NEVER die even though our bodies die my Heart and Soul will always belong to YOU! Here on this earth and in Heaven above. I LOVE YOU MASTER!!

I CAN HAVE MY BACK SURGERY!!!!

I did the HAPPY DANCE!! lol I am so relieved and so is Master. Now I can move forward and finally get this done!!! HELL YES I AM HAPPY!!! Next Wednesday the 29th is the first day of the rest of my life!! I am soo ready for this,i have fought hard to get to this point and with all the road blocks and cancelations I can finally have it done,and gain my life back and finally get off the oral morphine,and this chronic pain hopefully will be gone and I can do what I have not been able to do for going on 2 years. so Master and I are happy and relieved.so until next Wednesday I am going to relax chill and just wait for surgery day. emoji emoji emoji

You all have a FANTASTIC DAY and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends always. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Sunday To All,

Tomorrow no matter what happens in the morning I am going to my cardiologist appointment and hear my test results,i am not turning on my cell phone,Master is just taking me to my appointment in the morning and we will be there at 8:30 am I have had enough road blocks in my way and I am running out of time and I have already run out of patience,this whole process since the beginning has been nothing but cancalations,road blocks and rescheduling and I only have 1 week and a 1/2 left so tomorrow is it,no EXCUSES NO CHANGING APPOINTMENTS NO NOTHING BUT HEARING MY RESULTS FROM MY ECO GRAM AND HEART MONITOR!!

I am DONE with understanding,waiting and being patient,i have been understanding and patient for going on 2 years and it stops TOMORROW MORNING AT 8:30 AM! so when I come home tomorrow Master and I will have the answers we have been long since waiting for and I will know how and when to proceed and I will either be able to get my back surgery or I wont and if I don't I need to know so I can call Dr.Phillips my neuro surgeon and explain why I cannot have my long over due back surgery but I pray I can have it on April 29th. and I will know for sure tomorrow morning.

Today Master and I will just relax and chill maybe go out for dinner tonight but try and stay positive,calm and focused and not think of the appointment until tomorrow morning. We both have been under enough STRESS,FRUSTRATION AND AGGRIVATION over this so today our minds,and hearts will stay calm and stress free. emoji

You all have a GREAT Sunday and when I get home tomorrow I will post the decision whether I get my back surgery or not. Enjoy your day with family and friends. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,

I Finally calmed down about yesterday and now I am just waiting until Monday morning to arrive,because if I do not get the results from my eco gram and from the heart monitor I wore for 1 month then I do not get my back surgery on the 29th its that simple,i NEED those results!! so Monday morning I am not even checking my cell phone in the morning I am just going to the heart center at my scheduled appointment 8:40 am because I am running out of time quickly.

Nothing has gone right for me with this from the beginning going on 2 years,its been 1 road block after another and I am so close to the end of this,and I have NO PATIENCE LEFT! my patience has long since gone and so has Masters.He is at the end of the road as well. I was so PISSED OFF yesterday I could not think straight,and the heart center called me 3 hours before my appointment at 11:40 AM To tell me that Dr.Shapiro had a emergency surgery however there are other cardiologist on the staff that could have seen me to give me the results of my test it would not have taken very long and if my heart valve is still leaking then the Doctor could have rescheduled a appointment for me but the only thing I was told is there were no cacelations,and if I did not mention the fact that the decision for approving my back surgery was the results of my eco gram and heart monitor then I know without a doubt I would not have had another appointment for a week or 2 out and I cannot wait that long my surgery is suppose to be April 29th so I need the results ASAP not 1 or 2 weeks from now I need them NOW!! and if I cannot have my back surgery then fine,but I need to know and plus I need to call Alice Peck Day hospital in west leb New Hampshire next Wednesday morning and pre- register again so again I NEED THOSE TEST RESULTS! before next Wednesday.

So Monday morning Master will take me to my appointment at 8:40 am so we both can get the results and get the answers we need to move forward with either my back surgery or whatever if any issue with my heart. The rest of the weekend Master and I are just going to relax and forget about what happened yesterday,and go to my appointment Monday morning.

I hope you all have a GREAT Saturday many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Guess what just F*****G happened UN FING BELIEVEABLE I just received a call from the heart center and Dr. Shapiro has emergency surgery this morning so mow I have to wait until Monday morning at 840am why in the F**K is this happening to me I have had road block after road block and now I wait until Monday morning I am LIVID Master is really PISSED OFF I cannot wait much longer I need an answer and I am running out of time.I will be back later Ina, so ANGRY I cannot think straight

Good Morning Everyone

I decided to quickly post this morning and today is my JUDGMENT DAY all I am waiting for is 11:40am to arrive so Master and I can go to the cardiologist and get my answers and hopefully I will be able to have my back surgery on April 29th,and when I arrive back home I will post the decision. You all have a great Friday I hope your Friday goes well and quick so you can start your weekend. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Happy Thursday To Everyone,

24 hours until my JUDGMENT DAY! I will know tomorrow at EXACTLY 11:40AM by the cardiologist 2 things, 1 if my left heart valve is still leaking and if so what is next? and 2 if I will be able to have my long over due back surgery on the 29th of April.

I am VERY anxious and nervous but I need to know and Master is really ansy today,right now He is out with a friend of his He needed to go out for a while and be with his friend and I certainly understand that.Poor Master emoji emoji He is so worried and concerned about me that he does not know what to do,and it is good for him to go out and even be by himself after he visits with his friend just to clear his head and calm down a bit,when he is like this I am worried about him,but this whole situation has been VERY VERY STRESSFUL on both of us me because I am the one actually dealing with the issue PHYSICALLY and I am the one feeling all of the physical pain but Master has also suffered mentally,and emotionally because when he watches me in so much back pain and leg pain where I can hardly walk some days he wants to do something to help but he knows there is nothing he can do and it tears his heart out to see how much anquish and pain I am in and there is nothing he can do except support me,but for me that is enough,the only way this problem is going to be resolved is SURGERY!! nothing more nothing less,I either get this done or in I would say 5-10 years I will be in a wheel chair and GOD FORBID Master passes away in that time frame and I am in a wheel chair I am left with wandering who will take care of me and help me? because Master is all I have I have no family left not many friends who could actually care for me,my only option would be for me to admit myself into a nursing hoime and live out the rest of my life there with no Master.no children/cats NOTHING! emoji emoji Can you imagine what that will do to me emotionally and mentally if I have to live out the rest of my life in a nursing home because I have nobody to take care of me? but a nursing home would be my only option if I cannot take care of myself.

However I will NOT allow myself to be a total disabled woman this is why I need this back surgery so DESPERATELY! and YES I am DESPERATE at this point to have it done, I have suffered with this going on 2 years now and it has become worse,but I will not know any answers until tomorrow today will be a day of thinking,wandering and anticipating just what Dr.Shapiro will tell Master and myself and I want today to be OVER! so I can go to bed tonight sleep wake up and be ready for my final answer,and I have run out of patience and time.

I hope you all have a LOVELY Day and I will post tomorrow after my Dr. appointment and let you all know what the verdict is and I pray to God Almighty that the answer is YES!! God Bless You,your loved ones and friends not just today but every day.and be good to each other and help one another. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello to Everyone,

in 48 hours I will have my final answer whether or not I can have my back surgery, I have never wanted to go to a dr. appointment so badly as I do the cardiologist, He is going to determine if my heart is healthy enough to have my back surgery on the 29th,i am getting anxious and nervous but cannot wait until Friday gets here.. Master I have noticed is a little on edge today he seems restless and cannot sit for to long without asking me to get something for him or he gets up himself and goes outside then comes back in.

I know how difficult this has been on him seeing me in pain and being helpless to do anything about it except support me,he has seen me at my WORSE many many days since he has moved in with me almost a year ago, and now that it is almost judgment day I can tell he is wired for sound so to speak,and I give Master his space and let him work it out the only times I will interact with him is when He calls for me or wants me to talk with him or get him something other then that I leave Him alone as he needs his space,but if I need him He is available physically,emotionally,mentally and spiritually and he knows if I need help or not.

It would so easy for both of us under the stress of this situation to separate ourselves and distance ourselves from one another because of all that is going on but we both realize that doing so is unhealthy for our relationship and we cannot detach from one another in times of crisis,we need to stay together and support each other but allow ourselves the head space we need to sort everything out and comprehend the situation but detaching emotionally,physically,mentally and spiritually because of the stress levels would destroy our relationship and after being apart for 12 years and going through so much we are not about to do that to ourselves or our relationship that we worked so hard to keep together when it was a long distance relationship.

We both know when we need to be together and talk and when to give ourselves space to think and comprehend the situation at hand and by doing so we remain A STRONG COUPLE who can over come any obstacle,trial and tribulation that we may face,but what we both want more then anything else is for this surgery to happen so I can finally live my life without PAIN or paying for what ever little thing I may do with BACK and LEG PAIN and finally once and for all get off the oral morphine pills that I have taken for far to long now. Master and I every night before we go to bed pray to God together that he allows this surgery to happen and nothing serious is wring with my heart and I know God is listening and hears our prayers. emoji

You all have a wonderful HUMP DAY and I wish nothing but love,happiness,peace and tranquility for you,your loved ones and friends,i will return later. Enjoy your day Everyone. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day Everyone,

Spring has finally rung here in North Clarendon, Vermont and its about time lol now i wish my back and legs would understand its nicer and warmer and should not cause me as much pain but my plea falls on a deaf body lol my back does not care if its spring and warmer it still makes my life miserable, but in 3 days I will get my final answer if I can have my back surgery on April 29th or I can't and I will also find out from the cardiologist if my left heart valve is leaking or not and if it is will it become a major issue and what if anything will be done about it and will it prevent me from having my back surgery???

I will know All these answers on Friday, my appointment is at 11:40am and then Master and I will have all the answers we are seeking. Time will tell and whatever Dr.Shapiro says is final so I am anxious for Friday to get here and get these answers. Master is also anxious to find out once and for all and whatever the outcome may be is what it will be but I want to know where I go if I cannot have my back surgery because surgery is the only option to correct my tethered spinal cord, no pill no shot no creams are going to correct this issue the only solution is surgery so if I cannot have it due to a leaky heart valve I have no clue what to do next, but I pray to God every day that he allows my surgery to happen so I can gain my life back get off the oral morphine pills and do what I cannot do anymore, but as I stated Friday is my JUDGMENT DAY.

You all have a wonderful day and I will return later now I have to go play online bingo lol God Bless and take care of yourselves and each other. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Night Everyone

Sleep well and have sweet dreams, I will return tomorrow. May God Bless you, your Loved Ones and friends. emoji emoji emoji

Hello Everyone,

I hope you all had a GREAT weekend.Master and I had a really nice day yesterday even though my back and knees were KILLING ME I dod not care we went out and enjoyed the nice day despite the fact I payed for it but... I am just waiting patiently for Friday to get here and I will get my final answer from the cardiologist if I can have my back surgery or I cant due to a leaky heart valve so I am anxious to find out and so is Master,He said he will be going to my appointment with me because he wants to hear first hand what Dr.Shapiro will say and I NEED him with me for moral and emotional support. If Master was not here with me it would be very difficult to go through all of this completely alone so I thank God He is here with me and is helping me through I think the most difficult time in my life or one of the most difficult times in my life,but I know in my heart that if he was still not here with me he would be soon because I have empathy for him He is VERY concerned and worried about me and for him not to be here when I need him the most would be something he could not bear so I know he would find a way to get here ASAP because he loves and cares about me and what happens to me,plus he is a Gentleman in the process besides being a A experienced and Mature Dominant,so I am truly blessed.

You all enjoy your day and I will return later.May God always bless you,your loved ones and friends. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Sunday To All,

I Hope you are all having a lovely weekend and enjoying the nice weather. Master and I had a change in plans yesterday the weather was not as nice yesterday as we thought but today is going to be much better so we are going out for the day today instead however we had a nice quiet day at home and I basically was tied up literally, although with my back issue I can only be in light bondage for short periods at a time and it was fun,and since I was not allowed to speak when I was tied Master handed me one of my girls cat toys which was a small ball with a bell inside and when I had to be released from my bondage I just dropped the ball on the floor and Master would untie me and wait a couple of hours and tie me up again.

I can only be in light bondage for 1/2 hour intervals because I become to stiff if I stay on 1 spot for long and my back and legs begin to hurt and it really is a PAIN IN THE ASS!! and a annoyance to me because I cannot tolerate being tied for to long and I know Master CRAVES bondage but He NEVER complains and accepts whatever little bondage I can tolerate but its me who complains about it because if I had my back surgery in December when I was suppose to have it then I would be able to tolerate bondage longer periods of time but since it never went as scheduled here I am in april still waiting for it to happen but as long as Master seems to be happy with the little bondage I can tolerate then I guess I should be happy with it as well.

I do not have much longer to get a final answer Ladies and Gentlemen next Friday the 17th I will know when I see the cardiologist and that is what both Master and I are waiting for,but in the mean time we just do what I can tolerate and be happy with it,and today is going to be GREAT it is starting to be a beautiful day outside and I am looking forward to getting out for the day,i do not know where Master and I will end up we are just getting into the car the going and where we stop be it north,south,east or west will be our destination.

I Hope you all have a FABULOUS DAY and enjoy your sunday and I pray life is treating you with kindness,peace,tranquility and with LOVE,I will return tomorrow and record another audio message which I have not done in a few days but I have been in a lot of BACK pain this week so I have not felt very good but I see a light at the end of my very dark tunnel and soon I will reach the light and get my life back,at least I pray I will.Enjoy your day Everyone. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Saturday to everyone,

Today the weather here is suppose to be very nice so Master is going to take me out later today so we can relax and forget about my back issue surgery and the cardiologist and just relax and enjoy the day and if it happens to rain so be it we are still going out somewhere and have a mice day, we need it. I love to go on long rides the only problem I have with that is my back starts to hurt if I ride to much but I will bring a pillow with me and that will help. I want to go out for the day and go for dinner somewhere rain or shine it does not matter, Master will be driving and here is the fun part of the day while I am in the car I will be handcuffed to the door handle emoji just something I enjoy and reminds me of my place, and I will not be allowed to speak unless Master allows it nor will I be able to look at him in the eyes unless he tells me I can,I LOVE IT and He will also verbally humiliate me in the car because he knows how much it excites me when he does so, He makes our drive very fun hand exciting and not just sit in the car, He brings the lifestyle with us and it is something I can tolerate and like and he does as well emoji .

You all have a GREAT day and enjoy your Saturday whatever you may do and I will return tomorrow. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Morning to everyone,

I will be going to the drs this morning for yet another pre-op physical with the hopes that I will actually be able to have my back surgery on the 29th but it is all going to depend on what the cardiologist says next Friday on the 17th.

I compare the appointment with the cardiologist appointment with the TV show SURVIVOR meaning when I see Dr.Shapiro will be my tribal councel and if I am not able to get my long over due back surgery then I get voted out and my torch of life goes out and if he says I am able to have my surgery then I stay and my torch continues to burn brightly,it is all a waiting game for me for 1 more week so I just have to be patient and see what Dr.Shapiro says.

You all have a GREAT Friday and I will be later this afternoon for a little while before I log off for the rest of the day and evening and will return tomorrow.God bless you and take care of yourselves and each other. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,

I hope you all are having a great week so far,can you believe it snowed here? unbelievable. lol however next week it is suppose to reach 60-70 degrees and its about time enough is enough of this crappy weather, it is suppose to be SPRING not going back to winter. Geeeeez Louise lol and this weather is making my back SCREAM at me I am in so much pain with my back and making my legs hurts as well,and the oral morphine doesn't help very much when I am in a lot of pain but I REFUSE to take more and more just to stop the pain,i suffer through it until my next dose.

When I do see the cardiologist next Friday I have to make Dr. Shapiro understand how URGENT and IMPORTANT this back surgery is for me I NEED IT AND WANT IT! and if I cant get this done because of some heart issue then I am totally F****D because there is no other way to fix my tethered spinal cord,it is either surgery or nothing at all and I have suffered to long now with this condition and I cannot even fathom going through another summer like this and not be able to do fun things I like to do with Master and YES! that does include BDSM PLAY that has been put on hold because I just cannot play with my back and legs hurting me and I feel so guilty because Master has to go without what He also enjoys but he NEVER says anything or complains because we cannot play PHYSICALLY we do have a lot of MENTAL AND VERBAL HUMILIATION PLAY which I am head over heels for because I LOVE IT but as far as physical like bondage and play like that NO! I told Master once I can have my surgery I will make it up to him 10 fold and we will have fun again like we did when he first moved in with me last june.

Anywho... You all have a FANTASTIC Thursday and I will return later.Take care of yourselves and each other and may God always bless you,your loved ones and friends ALWAYS! emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To Everyone,

Friday I go for my physical once again in hopes I will have my long over due back surgery on the 29th of April but what I am waiting for is next Friday on the 17th when I see the cardiologist and I will get my final answer either YES or NO and Master and I pray every night that Dr.Shapiro says YES BRENDA YOU CAN HAVE SURGERY THE 29TH. I have to make him understand how important it is to get this done,my back has hurt so much lately and it affects my legs and walking but if he says I cant due to a heart issue then I guess I will have to suffer with this condition for the rest of my life and live on Oral Morphine pills just to function and that is something I do not want I want to get off the morphine and cleanse my body of the narcotic and feel better but I will have to wait until the 17th and see what Dr. Shapiro says.I want my life back and I want to be able to do things without PAIN or without knowing I will pay for it the next day and so on, I would not want anyone to suffer the way I am and have been going on 2 years now,it STRIPS your life away and when you try to have a NORMAL life you pay for it later,But God will do what he sees best for me and He will decide whether back surgery is right for me or not and I hope GOD says YES!!

You all have a GREAT day and I will return later. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Night Everyone,

Sleep well have sweet dreams and I will be back tomorrow. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day To All,

I was thinking to myself how much I could be bitter due to the physical pain I feel due to my spinal cord and how very easily I could take out my pain, frustration and aggravation out on Master, Mary and my friends online and in my real life, but what would I accomplish from doing so? It is nobody's fault for the pain I suffer nobody around me has inflicted this physical pain with or without my consent so why would I take how I feel and blame the whole world for it? What would that get me? A loss of friends online and my real life, indefinite punishment from my Master, Mary quitting her job as my part time domestic slave? All of the above.

I would lose the RESPECT of my friends and Master and my friendships I have developed here and on face book by screaming ranting and raving over something that they and I cannot control, and I am saying all of this to make a point.If you are going through a crisis in your life no matter how minor or major it may be before the urge of screaming and yelling at all your loved ones and friends strikes you because of the pain you feel STOP AND THINK before you speak and say to yourself, why would I blame everyone in my life for the pain I feel when I myself have no control over that pain and why would I risk losing all the people I love and respect over something that is not their fault nor mine.

We all have problems in our life and we all including myself sometimes want to BLAME others or make them feel as miserable as we do so they will understand what we are going through, but instead of blaming others for something we have no control over we need to ask them for their assistance, their patience their understanding, their tolerance and their LOVE because if we lose the people who love us and respect us for who and what we are as a person and we start to blame them for our problems in the end all we will have is ourselves to blame.

You all have FANTASTIC Tuesday, and may God send his many blessings down upon you your loved ones and friends today and always. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Morning Everyone,

I hope you all had a bless_ed Easter and Passover and enjoyed the peaceful holiday.I had a very nice Easter but my back hurt so badly I could hardly walk,as far as my back is concerned it was not a good holiday, Thank God Mary was here to help me because I had a difficult time doing anything, I basically slept 4 hours on Saturday and Yesterday because my Back hurt so badly.I pray when I see the cardiologist in 2 weeks on the 17th He tells me there is nothing seriously wrong with my heart and I can have my back surgery on the 29th of april because I really really need it desperately. emoji emoji emoji emoji I don't want to suffer all this summer and not be able to do anything I want to do because I will pay for it dearly with SPINAL PAIN!! it is frustrating but I know God will help me and he knows how much I suffer with my back and legs with this condition I have and he shows mercy and I ask him daily to PLEASE!! allow me to have my back surgery on the 29th. emoji emoji emoji

Anyway enough of my problems lolol everything happens for a reason and I am suffering for a reason and I do see a light at the end of this very dark tunnel,and I Am so thankful and grateful to have Master here with me and hired Mary a domestic slave to help me because She had made my life much easier,i don't have to do any heavy lifting which makes my back feel better,and she was very happy with her candy gave her yesterday and dinner was delicious. emoji

You all have a GREAT Day and I will return later. God Bless and take care of yourselves. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Happy Easter and Passover to everyone

Master and I wish you all a blessed Easter and Passover and we hope you enjoy your holiday with loved ones and friends.Eat, Drink and be Merry today and I hope The Easter Bunny brought you some Easter goodies and for the ones celebrating Passover hope you enjoy all of your goodies today as well. Relax and have fun and don't worry about eating to much or counting calories today just indulge and be happy and worry about fat and calories tomorrow.

From my house to your a very Happy Easter and Passover. I will return tomorrow. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello Everyone,

I hope you are all ready for Easter and Passover today,and it will be a WONDERFUL Bless_ed Holiday for you,your loved ones and friends. emoji and I hope for those celebrating Easter that Peter Cotton Tail does not forget you and bring you a CHOCOLATE BUNNY and what ever other candy you may enjoy,who says adults cant enjoy yummy easter candy,I know I do. emoji

For those celebrating Passover,i hope you also receive some goodies and enjoy everything that is good to you. I am ready I will take my Ham out of the freezer tonight and let it thaw out and tomorrow I will cook the feast and mary will be coming over for dinner,i also will take out the candy from the freezer so Master,mary and myself can enjoy some.

You all enjoy your Easter Eve and Passover Eve and I will return tomorrow morning for a little while before I start my Easter festivities. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Happy Good Friday!! emoji

I hope you are preparing for the Easter Holiday on Sunday. As I stated yesterday I am ready. The only thing I am debating is if I can tolerate sitting and kneeling in a pew for church.I always go over to Lasalette Shrine in West Lebanon New Hampshire to a small chapel for Christmas and Easter but I do not know if my back will allow me to sit on the hard benches in the pews,and I love to go to Saturday night Easter Vigil because the priests there are wonderful,Kind and give AWESOME sermons that grabs your full attention and make you really think about your life and the path you chose for yourself and your family,but since I have a tethered spinal cord sitting,standing and kneeling for to long especially on a hard bench KILLS ME! emoji emoji emoji emoji I may have to just watch Mass on TV or my tablet and it makes me cry because I feel so much peace when I go to church but I know God forgives me because He knows how much I suffer from this back problem and I know he will not mind if I watch Mass on TV or my Tablet.He knows how much I Locve Him and worship Him as my Savior and MASTER however it does not make me feel good about myself and I told Jesus as soon as I can have my back surgery I will be physically attending church once again to worship Him properly. emoji

I also hope all of the Jewish Members here enjoy the Bless_ed Passover holiday,i hope You are blessed with all of gods gifts He offers You and You enjoy your time with your family and friends and most importantly enjoy your Passover FEAST. emoji

Everyone have a Bless_ed Good Friday today and I hope your Easter and Passover gives you happiness, Peace Tranquility and LOVE. I will try to come back later and if I do not have time I will return tomorrow. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day Everyone,

I am all ready for Easter, Mary just arrived back here after grocery shopping for me and finished buying the rest of our food for our dinner,and tomorrow I am making my delicious home made mac and cheese and Mary bought the right block of cheese I wanted,i wanted the seriously sharp cheddar cheese and also swiss cheese,and she bought 2 boxes of garlic knots and I will make cinnamon rolls for dessert and I will give Master just 1 His sugar wont go up that much,and he tests himself 3 times a day so He will just increase his insulin knowing he will have some sweet dessert tomorrow and Mary will be joining us for dinner and I will give her any mac and cheese that is left to take back to her place with her to eat.

Saturday and Sunday she will have off but come over for Easter dinner on sunday,Master gives Mary weekends off and she only works until 3pm on Fridays and sometimes earlier so she has time to do her own errands,and she is happy with us as her employer and we are happy with her domestic service as well. emoji

I Hope you are all prepared for Easter and Passover and have all your goodies and food for your dinner and I am sure for those of you who have little children I bet they are excited the Easter Bunny will be arriving on Sunday. I love to see little boys and girls all dressed up for Easter in their little suits and pretty spring dresses going on egg hunts and just being little boys and girls having a healthy happy life,but I know not all children do have a happy healthy life especially the ones who are being ABUSED or poor,and can only hope the Easter Bunny wont forget them.

To know children are being ABUSED an NEGLECTED breaks my heart there are 3 things I DESPISE

1) ABUSED WOMEN
2) ABUSED AND NEGLECTGED CHILDREN
3) ABUSED AND NEGLECTED ANIMALS

Nothing gets me more ANGRY then those 3 things. Nobody or aninal deserves to be ABUSED and NEGLECTED and herer is what I would do to a ABUSER of Women,Children and Aninals, I would INFLICT the same ABUSE but to a much higher degree OF SUFFERING they inflict on other Women,Children and Poor defenseless animals and see how much they would like it. I would chain them NAKED to a tree IN The middle of winter with no food or water and see how much they would enjoy it or beat them so badly they would never recover or STARVE them to death as they do children and animals and lets see how fast they BEG for MERCY and become humble

ABUSE SHOULD NEVER BE ACCEPTED NOR TOLERATED by any lifestyle and if ABUSE does happen the ABUSER should be held accountable for his/her DISPICTABLE ACTIONS and be PROSECUTED to the highest degree and sentenced to the maximum time allowed

I was ABUSED by a Man years ago VERBALLY,MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY and the best thing he ever did for me was tell me to PACK MY THINGS AND GET THE FUCK OUT! and I thought it was LOVE ABUSE is not LOVE and I vowed from the day I left that NO Man would EVER ABUSE me in any way again and if I met someone and I saw even 1 sign of ABUSE no matter how long I was with him I would pack my things and walk out the door,and when I met my Master I made him well aware of that fact but I never have to worry about my Master because evewrything is done with my CONSENT and what He does to me I ENJOY but I meant what I said and I stand by what I said and will until the day I meet God Almighty in heaven.

You all enjoy your Thursday,and I will return later. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day Everyone,

I have a couple of fetishes that I never had before nor would have ever thought about to be a big deal.

The first one is smelling Master. mmmmmmmm He smells sooo damn good.He wears an expensive cologne,i take a deep breath exhale and say mmmmmmmmmm!! how sweet it is.

2nd I just love Him dressed4 in BLACK from head to toe,it excites me,and no black is NOT my favorite color BLUE is my favorite color but BLACK in my personal opinion is erotic,dark sadistic intimidating and SEXY AS HELL!! so combine both of those fetishes together and I have complete and fulfilled temptations that I can NEVER resist. We all in this lifestyle have some type of fetish that excites us and makes our heart race, and what a boring lifestyle it would be without some type of FETISH! emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

I almost forget number 3,I have really never paid attention to a Mans hands before none the less have a fetish for them but I do, OH MY GOD!! for a Man Master has long slim beautiful fingers that I love to suck,lick and kiss daily He has beautiful hands for a Man and with long slim fingers he can reach my G-SPOT no Man has ever been able to reach it but he can and it feels AMAZING!! yeah I know I am 51 years OLD!! but I am not DEAD lol I can still have orgasms at 51 it just takes longer and takes more time and patience to achieve it but when Master hits my G-SPOT with his long slim beautiful fingers I explode with a hard orgasm, the ones that make my whole body become stiff and I stop breathing for a couple of seconds and when my orgasm subsides I feel like I am coming from another world,maybe it is sub space,Master says it is and if sub-space feels the way I feel after a intense G-SPOT orgasm then I never want to come back to earth lolol the only thing I have never been able to do is SQUIRT I cannot do it Master has tried but to no avail some women cant and I am one of those women but I sure can cumm from my G-SPOT when it is touched just the right way. emoji emoji emoji

okay enough of X-RATED entries from me lolol emoji emoji BUT Sometimes you just have to say how you feel. emoji . I hope you all are having a great HUMP DAY and I will return later and record 1 more audio message before I log off for the night just to say good night to everyone. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

I was asked what role the woman who lives in a hotel with her babies is meaning Dominant,submissive,slave or switch and she told me she is a switch,but is not actively involved right now because she has no time and to many issues in her life which she does,she hopes one day she will be able to get involved again but for now she is just here looking for friends and she found one in me,I am concerned about her and her babies and I want her to contact me here or email to let me know how she and her babies are getting along,her babies are 1 year and 6 months old and she is 30 years old,The father left before the babies were born as I previously stated and she has no family here and works 2 part time jobs looking for a 3rd and receives a mere 100.00 for food stamps from The State of Vermont WHAT A INSULT AND SLAP IN THE FACE!! 100.00 a month for 3 people? REALLY??? I am patiently waiting for her to get in touch with me again she said she was going to the dollar store to buy some food and other baby things.

Her name is nancy she does not do drugs,drink or smoke (just like me) emoji I will pray for her daily and her babies.she needs all the thoughts and prayers she can get. emoji emoji

Good Day to Everyone,

I have received quite a few offline messages stating that since I posted my entry yesterday about a female member here who lives in a hotel room with her 2 babies working 2 part time jobs looking for a 3rd just to support her and and babies and receiving just 100.00 a month for food stamps has emailed their state representatives to voice their opinions and views about the republican reform bill that will cut services and programs that the poor and working class poor depend on to survive and support their families, and most likely will pass the house after the easter recess since it has already passed the senate.

I stand and applaud you and say GOOD FOR YOU!! I am so happy that I have encouraged others who depend on the services and programs that the republicans want to cut to survive and depend on to help support their families..

Maybe if the congress and our state representatives receive enough emails from the poor and working class poor stating we do not want a FREEBIE or a FREE HANDOUT but just a little assistance since we do contribute because we vote and work and need a little more help to put food on the table The state representatives will listen to us.

Will our emails fall on deaf ears? YES I am sure they will and will the republicans GLOAT over their VICTORY? HELL YES THEY WILL!! because all assistance for the poor and working class poor will be GONE! but it will not matter they can GLOAT over their victory and STRIP all services and assistance but we as the poor and working class poor will SURVIVE and we will find other solutions we may not know where but we will because we know how so no matter what the decision we will stand together and stand up and say I AM A SURVIVOR!!

You all have a GREAT Tuesday. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello Everyone,

I am not sure if mother nature is behind her time or has forgotten that it is suppose to be spring and warm but apparently she has because here in Vermont it Is still cold, one thing she has gotten right the snow is melting but it is still cold,i think she better check her calendar and start coming forward instead of backwards. emoji

I received a message from a member yesterday regarding my post on the republican health care reform bill and when she told me her story it makes this bill as bad as I said it was.

She said she is a single mom of 2 little children and she has to work 2 part time jobs and is looking for a third because she is only making minimum wage and working about 20 hours a week between both jobs and all she is receiving for ford stamps with 2 small children is 100.00 a month now we all know that 100.00 a month is not going to go far especially with 2 young children and she goes without eating most times so her babies can eat and she has tried to get some other assistance for help but was told they do not have any money to help her and her babies. She and her 2 babies live in a hotel room because she cannot afford to get an apartment.

How sad and these people are exactly what I am talking about if this bill is passed and all assistance is stopped or drastically cut more people like this poor woman is going to suffer and so are the children, I told her to start emailing our state representatives from our state of Vermont as I am doing and tell them her story even though they will be going home on easter recess and I told her to go online and find local food shelves so she can get food for her and her babies, because this poor woman should not go hungry either she has to eat and stay nourished to support her babies and if she does not eat she will become sick and not be able to care for babies.

She told me her family does not live close by so she is alone with her babies who she loves very much and would do anything for them and go without so they may have the things they need but she should not have to choose between her babies and herself, The father is not around I guess he took off before the babies were born and she does not know where to look for him, and she needs more them 100.00 a month for food, so she is going to look for local food shelves and see if she can go and get more food and I also told her to go to the dollar store and buy some food and she never thought about that so she will do that because you can buy alot of food for 100.00 at the dollar store you just have to watch for expiration dates but they keep up with that so she will go there and buy food and she should get enough for her to eat as well.

These people are the ones who suffer and struggle but the republicans don't care because they would never go hungry and have money to support their families so cutting programs that the poor and middle class need and deserve doesn't bother them because they live a nice comfortable life and do not know what struggling is and never will.

I told this woman to keep in touch with me and let me know how he and her babies are Getting along and I gave her my email address, she uses the internet at the public library daily she thanked me for the advice and will keep in touch with me when she has her days off from work and I am happy she will.

I pray this health care reform bill will not pass the house and when the republicans return from easter break I will be watching on CSPAN and see if the bill will pass or not. I watch CSPAN 1.2.3. and I watch the Washington journal 7 days a week and listen to all the calls that come in.

You all have a great day be well, and healthy always and many blessings to you and yours. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello and Good Sunday to all of You.

I hope you are enjoying your weekend. It seems nice for me not to do any spring cleaning this year.Mary our part time Domestic slave is doing a GREAT Job, She will be arriving in a couple of hours to continue. I tried to help mary but my back would not allow me to do it once I started lifting my assistance ended as quickly as I started,do I HATE THIS? YES I DO More then anyone will ever know. I know my back is getting worse because I have to increase my morphine dose once again. emoji I take a quarter morphine pill at 10am and again before I go to bed because my back hurts more,this is why I pray every day that when I see the cardiologist on April 17th He will tell me I can get my back surgery on the 29th of April I cant go another year like this but if Dr. Shapiro tells me NO I cant have my back surgery due to a heart issue I will have to spend the rest of my life with this pain and live on morphine and I will NEVER gain my life back. emoji emoji

I am trying to stay positive and want the 17th of April to hurry up and get here so I can get the final answer either YES or NO! and I pray it will be YES!!! Master is worrying as well that maybe I will not be able to get my long over due back surgery but he will never show it to me but I know he is worried and concerned I can see it in his face and eyes. emoji

On a happier note I am looking forward to Easter quickly approaching and Mary was very grateful that Master invited her over to our home for dinner,We don't want her to celebrate it all alone,Holidays are time to be with family and friends not celebrate it alone and lonely. I have her candy in our freezer but she does not know that.She will be surprised and happy and that is what I want her to be she is a lovely hard working domestic slave,and she listens well and is very polite to me and Master and always addresses Him as Sir and me just Brenda not Ma'am because I do not feel comfortable being addressed as Ma'am I like Brenda much better. emoji I Hope the weather is nice and warms up a little and the sun shines brightly and warm for our bodies and souls. emoji

You all enjoy your sunday Be Well and Happy always. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Saturday to everyone,

Master and I were discussing the republican health care reform and he told me he does not believe the house will pass this bill and if they did it still has to go to Obama and he won't pass it, but I still have my reservations and I will be watching the debate when the representatives return from easter break but in the mean time I will continue to email my state representatives regardless of the easter break, and it amazes me that republicans cannot see beyond dollar signs their whole life revolves around MONEY and if they were part of the poor and poor working class they would have different attitudes about this reform bill because they would be struggling as the rest of the poor and working class and if they were threatened by the possibility of losing assistance and programs they depend on to SURVIVE they would feel the same way I do and millions of other people who are in limbo waiting to see what the house will do, but I have never heard of a POOR REPUBLICAN and never will the one percent of RICH benefits from republicans and support them with millions of dollars when we the poor and middle class are KICKED to the curb and told YOU GET NO HELP FROM US GO FEND FOR YOURSELF IF YOU CAN IF NOT OH WELL THATS YOUR PROBLEM WE ARE NOT GIVING YOU ANY ASSISTANCE WITH ANYTHING!!!

Now it is a waiting game until after easter recess for the house and when they return it will be our JUDGEMENT DAY.

You all have a GREAT SATURDAY and enjoy your weekend. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day Everyone,

Well it is a sad day for the poor and middle class the senate passed the republican health care reform bill and after they return from easter break the house will vote to pass it and if that does happen over the next 10 years all the poor and middle class including myself will lose our healh insurance and all the other services that help us to SURVIVE. There will be more hungry people and also there will be massive cuts to education so once again the children will suffer and fuel assistance will be gone so the poor and middle class will FREEZE in the winter and the elderly will die faster.

If I lose my state health insurance there will be no more monthly doctor visits that I need,I will not be able to afford my medication anymore and I will have to stop taking al of it and if I need another surgery GOD FORBID I will not be able to afford it so I will have to suffer with whatever is wrong.

The poor and middle class are always the ones to SUFFER while the RICH are always the ones to CELEBRATE. The poor and hard working middle class are the ones who are left out but the RICH have and get EVERYTHING! It certainly a sad day for us and now we can only pray that the house does not pass this bill but I am sure they will because the house has the majority of republicans and they have control of both the house and senate so of course it will pass

I guess we the poor and middle class need to brace ourselves because if this bill passes the house over the next 10 years we are going to struggle more then we ever have before and will get NOTHING from our government no help no assistance so we need to find alternatives but I can honestly say I do not know where to look for assistance.

All I can say to all the poor and middle class may God help you me and all of us find the assistance and help we need and DESERVE because there is going to be a 10 year storm brewing and it will be DEVISTATING to us all. Just remember NEVER to lose FAITH FAITH is the only thing the REPUBLICANS cannot take away from us. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Night Everyone,

Sleep well, have sweet kinky dreams and I will return tomorrow. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Day Everyone,

Awwww spring is in the air. Its warmer here and the snow is melting, Its about time because all of new England was BITTER COLD,ALOT OF SNOW and NASTY this winter so spring is so welcomed here this year,Everyone I have talked with in my community in North Clarendon feel the same,however I don't like the OPPRESIVE HEAT and HUMIDITY either lol my perfect summer day would be 70-75 degrees a light breeze and no humidity LOVELY! but we do not get many of PERFECT summer days here in Vermont.lol right now its GREAT not to hot and just nice and warm, my kind of spring day and another good aspect this year is since I cannot lift due to my tethered spinal cord I do not have to do any spring cleaning,thats what we have our part time domestic slave mary is for this year emoji I can relax while she does the spring cleaning how nice it will be Master will have her start our spring cleaning after Easter,and she should be done by the time I go to the Cardiologist on the 17th of april,i cannot wait for that appointment because Dr. Shapiro will let me know if my heart is healthy enough for my long over due back surgery and I pray to God daily that it is because I NEED this back surgery DESPERATELY!!!

Since Mary has no family and she is single and lives alone Master has invited her over to our home for Easter dinner and I also went out and bought her some Candy,I bought her a chocolate bunny,cadbury eggs and some reeses peanut butter eggs She will appreciate it I am sure.and why not who says ADULTS cant enjoy Easter candy.lol I bought the same candy for myself lolol all of the candy is in my freezer and I bought Master all surgar free candy because He is a diabetic,so we all have Candy and I am going to petco and buy my 2 girls a Easter toy as well,they need something special I NEVER leave my 2 girls out of the holidays and I feed them Human food they love it and they do not get sick because one of my girls from the very first litter is now 15 years old and she was brought up on human food and milk and she doesn't get sick and Baby Girl my adopted girl also eats human food and she doesn't get sick,they enjoy whatever I have to eat and they are SPOILED Rotten AS THEY SHOULD BE. emoji

Anywho...lolol You all have a GREAT Day I have to email my state representatives and tell them how I feel about the REPUBLICAN BUGET REFORM Master gave me that idea yesterday and I intend to voice my opinion about all the BUDGET CUTS to medicare,medicaid,food stamps,fuel assistance ETC and how millions of poor people are going to suffer if this bill is passed,but I know deep down it wont do any good but at least they will know how I feel becausae if that bill passes and I lose my health care I AM TOTALLY F****D because I will no longer be able to see my Doctor once a month pay for my meds,have labs done or any other surgeries if necessary as millions of other poor people,but if I do not voice my opinion and I hope others in Vermont who are poor and middle class will do the same it may not make a difference but at least we poor and middle class will be able to let them know how passing this reform health care bill will DESTROY US! and if it is passed,all of the poor and middle class better start making final arrangements because many of the poor and middle class will start to DIE! and I am serious,so I urge all Poor and Middle class Vermonters who depend on the services I have mentioned to email our state representatives and make your voices HEARD as I am going to do now,we need to express how This health care reform bill will affect us especially the elderly and children.

Enjoy your day everyone,I will return later. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Morning Everyone,

I have all my candy for easter however since Master is diabetic I had to buy him surgar free chocolate and all the candy is in the freezer,and now Mary our temporary part time domestic slave who helps me run errands and do the chores I cannot due to my back will buy the food Master wants for dinner,and Master is Jewish so ham is completely out of then question,i think Master wants prime rib or chicken for easter dinner and whatever he wants is what we will have,and we celebrate 2 religious holidays one of my catholic Faith and the other jewish faith so when jewish holidays come around I have to make sure I buy the right food for Master and I enjoy enjoying 2 types of holidays. emoji

Then all of my focus will be on the 17th of april and wait for my cardiologist appointment and that day will be JUDGEMENT DAY for me concerning my back surgery on the 29th of april,i will either be able to get it done or I wont and if I wont I will be VERY disappointed because I have gone through a lot to get to this point and to have Dr.Shapiro say NO BRENDA I AM AFRAID YOUR HEART WILL NOT ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN! then all of the running around and the visits to Dartmouth and other Drs will be in VAIN,but my Primary care Dr thinks I will be able to have my back surgery and I ask God every day and night to make it happen because I need it desperately to gain my life back and not suffer with continual back and leg pain but time will tell on the 17th of april.

You all have a great hump day and I will return later and record a audio message. God Bless and Take care of yourselves and each other. emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji

Hello Everyone

I read a message sent to me by a self proclaimed MALE DOMINANT! but I have my reservations because I can spot a wannabe/fake/player by messages I receive from them and I can tell by what they say to me that they have no clue what BDSM consist of and what a knowledgeable,experienced Intelligent Dominant really is or how they are suppose to behave and present themselves to a total stranger they NEVER chatted with before and I will explain more.\

Instead of politely introducing Himself and showing some respect toward me His first line was YOU NEED A YOUNGER MASTER WHO CAN FUCK YOUR OLD PUSSY REAL GOOD AND MAKE YOU SUBMIT TO MY WILL AND I AM THAT YOUNGER MASTER!!!! EXACTLY his words to me,needless to say all I could do was laugh and I showed Master this message and He just laughed as well.This guy could not dominate a fly much less another human being lolol of course I did not reply because I do not reply to IDIOTS who present themselves in this way,all he did was make a total ASS of himself and nothing else.

I am sure he doesn't care because by his message he has no real interest in BDSM or Dominating ANYONE! and since it is the internet HE can be an IDIOT because nobody is going to care and that's true at least for me I don't care because I am not going to entertain IDIOTS online or waste my time or words on these type of people and its sad when people just come online playing games and acting as a CHILD and how does anyone actually know someone is who they say they are anyway without either hearing their voice or seeing them? you cant.

The internet can turn someone into someone else and nobody would know without some kind of PROOF they are who they say they are, however,i have met some really genuine people here and as far as I am concerned they are who they say they are just by my conversations with them,they sure as hell don't present themselves to me as this MORON did,

In my personal opinion if you have to hide behind a computer screen and make yourself someone you are not just because YOU CAN!! I do not want to associate with you. At least with me I post audio recordings so you have an idea I am a WOMAN and I have no interest in being someone I am not,how I act here on the internet is how I am in REAL LIFE I have enough issues in my life and have no time to be someone I am not nor do I want to be someone I am not I am me and I like ME! just the way I am.

Well,as long as we have the internet we will continue to have people pretending to be someone else just because THEY CAN! what a pity but that's the way it is and there is nothing you or I can do about it no matter how annoying it is all I do with messages like the one I received while I was offline last night is read it LAUGH show Master as he laughs then delete it post it here and forget abiout it all in that order.

It is ironic that this IDIOT left me an offline message instead of sending me a message while I was here, but he wanted to be a COWARD and not want to chat with me he just wanted to leave me an offline message then disappear. of course he did not want any confrontation. All I can say is GOOD RIDDENCE and DONT COME BACK!

Enjoy your day everyone and be well always. emoji emoji emoji

I found this article in my local paper THE RUTLAND HERALD online and when I read the entire article the more I agreed with it and I want to share this important article with everyone here, some may agree some may disagree but I think for the majority will agree,and the article was actually written by the New York Times in a editorial.

The following is the entire article so it is quite long.

If the budget resolution released Tuesday by house republicans is a road map to a ''STRONG AMERICA'' as its title proclaims,its hard to imagine what the path to a ''DIMINISHED AMERICA'' would look like.

The plans deep cuts lands square on the people who most need help, The poor and the working class. The plan also would turn medicare into a system of unspecified subsides to buy private insurance by the time americans who are now 56 years become eligible and it would strip 16.4 million people of health insurance by repealing the affordable care act. (the umpteenth attempt by republicans to do so since the law was enacted in 2010)

House Republicans would increase financing by bolstering a contingency fund that is not subject to existing budget caps while insisting on adnerence to caps or even deeper cuts to non-defense spending on education. The environment, Law Enforcement, Medical research and other so called discretionary programs.

At the same time, the plan proposes deep cuts to mandatory non-defense spending which includes Medicaid, Federal pensions, Food Stamps, Farm supports and tax credits for the working poor. The detail of these cuts are vague, but the Medicaid cuts alone would inevitably fall on millions of children in low-income families and millions of older people (mostly women) in nursing homes,groups that are the programs main beneficiaries.

Over all at least 2/3s of the 5 trillion in cuts over 10 years would come from programs that focus on low-and modest income americans. Even though such programs account for less than 1/4 of all federal program costs.

Republicans say the cuts are necessary to reduce the deficit and balance the budget but annual budget deficits have fallen steeply during the Obama years. Going forward, There is both a need and a opportunity for the Government to spend in ways to create Jobs and lay a foundation for future growth by investing in education, science and infrastructure and even cutting the budget were urgent which it is not the house republican plan ignores the most sensible equitable cuts.

For example: it doesn't propose to reduce the deficit by closing loop holes that drain blithely predicts that is policy proposals will bolster economic growth and increase tax revenues by some 140 billion over the next 10 years leading the budget surpluses.

House Republicans are sticking to their themes of spending cuts no matter then need or consequences and tax cuts above all.

Senate Republicans whose budget resolution is scheduled to be unveiled Wednesday are not expected to challenge the house approach in any major way.

Hello friends,

I really had a GREAT time at the casino last night it worked out much better,i took my last morphine dose around 330pm and when Master and I arrived at the casino about 4pm my back did not hurt and it did not hurt all evening and I won a little money I won 200 however lost more then I won emoji emoji but it was fun, now InFocus on easter then after that holiday I can focus on my heart and I pray to god I will be able to have my back surgery on April 29th,i see the cardiologist on April 17th (Dr.Shapiro)and it will be JUDGMENT DAY for me meaning my heart wild be healthy enough to get my long overdue back surgery or I won't, so when I see Dr.Shapiro the anticipation for me will be over whelming while I am waiting to get the results from my eco gram and heart monitor. All I know is I NEED this back surgery BADLY because I cannot live another year like I am now but I just have to wait and see what the cardiologist tells me.

You all have a fantastic day and I will return later and record another audio message.God Bless and peace be with you and your loved ones always. emoji emoji emoji

Good Morning my friends,

Well my time at the casino did not go as anticipated Master and I arrived around 1130am and we started playing then around 1pm I started having shooting pains from my spinal cord so I found Master and asked Him if we could leave emoji because I was in so much pain so we quickly left,i felt so disappointed and discouraged because I ruined our day at the casino but Master kept reassuring me that I did not ruin our day so Master came up with a plan B

We are going back over to the casino today but this time we are leaving around 2pm and we are going to try a night gamble. emoji . On our way back to the casino I will take my second morphine dose so when we arrive it will have taken effect then my back will not hurt as it did yesterday. emoji . When we arrive today we will have dinner first then head to the floor to gamble for a few hours tonight so I will try again, and before I had to leave was on a slot called cats vs dogs and I started to WIN for a change but I just could not stand the pain in my spinal cord and lower back to stay, but tonight should be better. emoji .

I am happy Master will take me back over to Saratoga this afternoon so we can resume gambling that had to be abruptly stopped yesterday due to my severe back pain and it means so much to me that Master loves and cares enough about me to take me back,i love him so much for his kindness and generosity toward me and his unconditional love and RESPECT he has for me, it warms my heart with LOVE and admiration for him. emoji

You all have a lovely Sunday and I will return tomorrow and let you know how it went a second time.. emoji emoji emoji

Hello friends,

Today is the day I am going to Saratoga and GAMBLE emoji I have been waiting for today to arrive Al week so hopefully after 5 years I will WIN this time emoji . I was busy yesterday running around so I did not have time to log in here. Master and I will be leaving around 930-10am and it takes about 2 hours or so give or take depending if we stop for coffee and we will do that before we head over to New York state then once we get to the casino its PARTY TIME emoji I wanted tomato by early this morning before I start getting ready and get Master up and going, Mary will be over to take care of my girls aka cats for the day so they will have someone here and they will not be alone and I will not worry while I am gone and I trust she has been a god send and a good choice as temporary domestic slave so I have no worries. emoji

You all have a GREAT day enjoy the weekend and I will return tomorrow and let you know if I lost or won, but either way I will have FUN. emoji emoji emoji

Good Night friends,

I am logging off early tonight but will return tomorrow, many blessings to you and yours. emoji emoji emoji

I was asked by another member if she could copy my motivational/inspirational quotes I post to my profile and then post the picture on hers and I told her absolutely!! if anyone is interested in copying any of my motivational/inspirational quotes that I post to my profile and then post them to your own please feel free to do so,i am happy to spread the joy around.i have no issue with anyone copying my profile pictures and then re-posting them for your own pleasure and pass them around to your friends and family and a smile can be contagious and I want to be around someone who is contagious with a smile and then spread it around. emoji emoji

OK,Now I am ready for the casino lol then I will celebratre my belated birthday.i am ready to GAMBLE,GAMBLE,GAMBLE. emoji I just hope I can win REAL money as I do FAKE Money when I play free online slots emoji emoji emoji and if I do win REAL Money then I will sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! emoji emoji emoji

On a serious note and this is to long to record on a audio journal entry and I want to make a disclaimer that my personal political views are STRICTLY my own and does not reflect on any members here. emoji

I do not usually discuss anything political because I do not want to get into a debate over it but I need to share my own personal point of view on the republican budget reform. I am a independent I have no alliance with republican or democrat but from what I can tell if this budget passes the poor and middle class children and elderly are going to SUFFER so many programs that are necessary for the poor people are going to be cut drastically which will cause many problems for millions of people across the nation a lot of children may go hungry and the elderly that depends on medicare and Medicaid will also suffer and you will see an over load of ERS because poor people will lose health insurance so they will go to the ER for helath care and then when they walk out the door throw the bill away because they cannot afford it and it will also hurt me if my health care IS CUT BECAUSE I Have Vermont State insurance because of my health issues are and if it is taken away from I am totally F****D Because I cannot work and I depend on my health care and I will not be able to afford my meds and god forbid if I need anymore surgeries,i will not be able to get them so many poor people are going to suffer and a lot of people will go hungry and the elderly will die sooner then when they are ready.

I do admit that there is ABUSE of disability benefits and welfare,i am not blind to realize that fact there is a lot of ABUSE of the system and the ones who abuses the welfare system affects good people like myself and others who are not PLAYING THE SYSTEM and NEED state assistance,and they hurtg the rest of us who depend on assistance. The only 2 things I ask for from the state of Vermont is my health care and fuel assistance nothing else no food stamps no disability benefits nothing so in closing even though I do not agree with the president and his policies I also do not agree with republicans trying to cut medicare and Medicaid for people who really need those services to SURVIVE! what a sad situation for the POOR!! emoji emoji

Its my birthday and I will cry or laugh if I want too cry or laugh if I want too lolol emoji emoji

I just want to warn everyone that tomorrow I will be posting HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME lolol and even saying it on a audio journal entry lolol hey why not.lol so I thought I would pre-warn everyone who reads my journal and listens to them lolol and YES I will be selfish just for tomorrow and it will be all about ME,ME,ME,ME,ME!! emoji emoji emoji Then the 19th it will be all about YOU again until Saturday when I go gamble at Saratoga for my belated birthday gift from Master.lol but you know I love ya!! if I didn't I would not post daily and think about how you are doing but not on MARCH 18TH lolol then I will say OH POOR ME FEEL SORRY FOR ME!! lolololol!!! hahahahahaha!! emoji emoji emoji

I had a few nice messages pertaining to my profile pictures that contain positive words of wisdom and I decided to post those type of pictures to give members a boost of self confidence if they have low self esteem or maybe just are having a bad day. Uplifting quotes help a lot and when you can actually read the words and understand what they mean to you, then you start to feel better and maybe even smile. emoji and that is the goal and my intentions to make other members SMILE and make them feel better about themselves and know they are special as we all are in our own way and we are all unique and have talents whatever those talents may be and make other members here realize they are worth it and deserve to be here like everyone else..I try hard to make others here feel welcomed when I receive kind messages and I encourage them to come back because I have stated this previously and will repeat myself again that no matter who you are or your title/role in this lifestyle you are welcomed to view my profile read and listen to my journals and free to send me messages as long as they are RESPECTFUL that is all I ask is show me the respect and kindness that I will show you. nobody is excluded from stopping by day or night 24/7 365 you are welcomed here. emoji emoji

Happy ST Patricks Day to all and for all the Irish members I hope you All enjoy your holiday and many Irish blessings to you and yours.Enjoy your green beer,irish bread and corn beef and cabbage. I am not Irish but I love corn beef and cabbage. Master and I hope you find your pot of Gold at the end of your rainbow today and every day. emoji emoji emoji emoji

Good Night everyone, sleep well have sweet kinky dreams and I will return tomorrow. emoji emoji

Good Day Everyone,

I am currently researching more information about vampirism since I read the black veil the code of conduct for vampires,also I am looking for online vampire communities because I would like to join and ask others who are actively involved in vampirism to questions about this lifestyle because I am very interested now,and I would like to get more information and maybe join that vampire community as well as BDSM but before I commit myself to another lifestyle community I need more valid information because I am not going to join any community without learning more about it I need to decide if I really will like it and if I do then I will commit myself to it.

I know Master is very involved in a vampire community online and is very well like and respected and He has invited me to join his community but he knows I need to do more research on my own before I say either yes or no and he respects that fact,but I have to admit I am very curious about this lifestyle but I want to know FACTS not MYTHS or false information,but I am working on that. emoji .

I am also waiting impatiently for Saturday to arrive so I can gamble,on Wednesday my actual birthday I am not doing anything i am waiting for Saturday then i will celebrate it. emoji ,the only thing that will happen on Wednesday is i will be a year OLDER 5100 years OLD emoji emoji . and with my health issues i feel it too. emoji

I hope you all have a FANTASTIC day and i will return later and record another message and Mary our domestic slave is working out very nicely i am happy Master hired her and it is helping me so much i don't have to do any heavy lifting anymore,and that is a god send to me it was KILLING ME! She is a nice lady and a OBEDIENT DOMESTIC SLAVE and listens very well and is very good to my girls/cats.When Master and i head over to Saratoga on Saturday Mary will stay at our house and watch the girls for me. emoji so i wont have to worry about them while i am gone all day.

Enjoy your day everyone. emoji

Hello everyone,

I received a link to what is known as THE BLACK VEIL.

It was originally written in 1997 by Father Sebastian as a code of conduct for patrons of the vampire haven. LONG BLACK VEIL in New York City. The code has been altered a few tomes since then.I read the whole code of conduct for the vampire community and I have to admit I liked it very much and I never knew there was a code of conduct for the vampire community because I really did not believe a real vampire community existed but it does and I am very interested in learning more about that community..

I also read a few comments pertaining to the black veil code of conduct and some people who are actively involved the the vampire community do not agree with the black veil and their vampire haven would never follow the black veil code of conduct and others would but to me not knowing anything about the vampire community thinks the black veil code of conduct is something I would follow if I were a member of the vampire community because it makes sense but since I know nothing about it I am just making my own personal perception of the black veil. I will be doing more research about the vampire community and since Master is also interested in vampirism was very intrigued by the black veil and told me he would also follow that code of conduct.

If anyone is interested in vampirism and would like to read the BLACK VEIL type THE BLACK VEIL A VAMPIRES CODE OF CONDUCT and read it and then you can make your own assessment and think to yourself if you would follow it or not. emoji I am certainly going to do more research of my own because I am very curious and want to learn more about this community and lifestyle. emoji

You all have a great Sunday and many blessings to you and your loved ones.

I was talking with a member here who is into vapireism and Master is also fascinated and interested in vampires but there are myths about vampires that are just that myths because the meMBER I was chatting with said what we all believe about vampires is just not true I told her to send me a link to more reliable information so I may do my own researching and investigating because I have always been interested in vampires myself. I enjoy the memorizing power they possess just by looking into your eyes can put someone under their will and power and I like that aspect very much as far as actually drinking blood I would not participate in that activity if I were to drink Any blood it would be my own and Masters but drinking anyones blood is not be safe,but I am more interested in the hypnotic power and DOMINANCE they possess and the fear they cause in other people. So I am currently waiting for the link so I may go and research more on VAMPIRES.

I cannot believe in 4 days I will be 51 hundred years OLD!! emphasis on OLD! emoji and I truly feel like 5100 years OLD emoji however if I win when I go and gamble next Saturday I will feel like 20 years YOUNG!! emoji emoji emoji emoji emoji the last time I went over to Saratoga to gamble was 2010 and I could not win no matter what slot machine I tried and by the end of the day I think I walked out of the casino with maybe 20.00 and I brought 600.00 with me so now 5 years later I will see if my luck will change and I will win and since it will be a belated birthday gift from Master I hope I do win. emoji but if I don't maybe Master will but if we both lose at least we had a good day and that is what it was meant to be FUN! win or lose but winning would be much better. emoji emoji emoji

Hello Everyone,

I had a discussion with Master last night and I told him I came to a conclusion I told Master that I REFUSE to allow my my health issues to control my life and emotions any longer. What ever the outcome of my eco gram and the results from my heart monitor is both Master and I have to accept it and worrying over it and crying over it is not going to change the out come all worrying and crying over this stressing myself wondering if I will have my back surgery or not due to my heart does not change anything the bottom line is this I am either going to be able to get my long overdue back surgery or I am not and making myself miserable by worrying crying and being in a NASTY mood does nothing.

So I told Master that whatever happens He and I have to just accept it and deal with it and I am not allowing all of this to control my life and emotions any longer it is what it is. When I am miserable and upset Master is as well and i am not going to make him miserable or myself any longer. I am having a change of attitude and perspective from this day forward and on April 17 when I receive the results from my eco gram and heart monitor whatever those results may be, either I can have back surgery or I cannot I will accept what Dr. Shapiro tells me and deal with it as Master will.

So now I have a new lease my life so to speak and releasing all this stress, anger, frustration aggravation and sadness due to my health issues, and just waiting patiently for April 17th to arrive to receive my heart results and in the mean time am looking forward to going over to Saratoga next Saturday and gamble as my belated birthday gift from my Master, We are going to have fun win or lose and enjoy the day and when we get to Saratoga Master and I will go our separate ways to gamble. emoji and when I need more money I will find him and get more. emoji

I am not going to think about my health issues any longer and go about my life and just wait and what is helping me as well is inspirational quotes I am starting to read online daily and motivational quotes they put me in a positive mind set and help me relax you should try reading them as well when you feel anxious depressed or frustrated with your daily life they will uplift your spirits and put you in a better state of mind. emoji

Wow I was a motor mouth this morning lol oh well at least I am not anti social. You all have a FANTASTIC day and I wish you much peace, love, happiness and tranquility in your life always. emoji

Hello Everyone,

I had my eco gram/heart ultra sound this morning so I pray that when I see the cardiologist on april 17th he will tell me nothing is wrong with my heart and I will finally be able to have my long over due back surgery april 29th. emoji

Tomorrow Mary will go to the dollar store for me it is a weekly chore I always do but I will let her do it for me,again I will give her a list of items I always purchase,Master will give her the money and she will do the shopping. She is going to work out nicely. emoji .

I was chatting with one of my friends here and she asked me what was the difference between being a maid and a domestic slave,there is one key element to being a DOMESTIC SLAVE compared to just a MAID! and that element is in my personal opinion that a domestic slave will go above and beyond basic maid service if she is required to do so,Mary does whatever Master tells her to do no matter what the job may entail where a maid does the basic serving like meals,and cleans the house,cooks etc but a domestic slave will do those chores and more if her owner.

For example if Master wants mary to take me to my doctors appointments like tomorrow when I go for my eco gram/heqart ultra sound mary will do that,without question or if Master wants mary to run HIS personal errands that have n0othing to do with MAID SERVICE per say or take his car to the car wash ETC extra duties that maids don't do but domestic slaves do and another difference between just a maid and domestic slave is if mary had an OWNER Master would payu him directly and not mary for her domestic services,and then her OWNER depending upon their arrangement would give mary a percentage of the pay or not but since mary is unowned at the moment Master pays her directly for her domestic services and Master also did not seek mary in a VANILLA want ads He found mary online in a BDSM DOMESTIC ONLINE SERVICE because mary is NOT a vanilla maid she is a SLAVE who was seeking work and a Owner and one who was local and did not have to travel.

I am not completely 100 percent sure about this but Master is thinking highly if she does end up working out as our domestic slave as talking with her about possibly owning her as well if she may be interested,but I am not sure Master just briefly mentioned that to me last night and I have no objections to that but I do have 1 stipulation if he does consider taking her as his second slave she will not live here with us,the only reason being is my 2 cats/girls they are afraid of strangers and I do not want to put them through the stress of new person living here,so if Master does decide to take ownership of her he will drive over to her house or she can come here daily but has to leave and Master thought that was fair.

Nothing is set we have to wait and see how well she will do AFTER my surgery when she is FULLTIME then when her domestic services are no longer needed then a decision will be made but for now Master was just thinking about it.I do not have any issue with that if Master wants another slave he has every right to do so and he was honest with me and discussed with me first so there would not be anything hidden from me,Whatever makes Master happy makes me happy. and if owning a second slave makes him happy then so be it,i am happy as well. emoji

You all have a great afternoon and I will return later.Enjoy the rest of your day.

Hello Everyone,

Well, I had an accident last night as I was walking up to the garbage dumster to throw away some trash I slipped and fell on my tailbone on the ice. emoji OH MY GOD!!! I hurt so f*****g bad and of all places to fall on the one place where I need back surgery.I said a few choice words but I will not mention them just use your imagination and you will know the words I said. The dumster from my place is at the other end of the drive way so Master did not know I fell until I came back inside and was crying and he was soo worried so needless to say my lower back/tailbone is killing me today plus my left arm because I tried to break my fall by putting my left arm behind me and I landed pretty hard on the ice,Master asked if I needed to go to the hospital and I said no Master I just need to sit down my whole body was shaking.it hurt that bad. emoji i had a doctors appointment this morning and my doctor was very concerned when i told her what happened.so today i am not doing anything but sitting down resting my back/tailbone area. I am glad mary will be starting her domestic service tomorrow because there is no way i can lift groceries,i do not know if i will even go with her i may just write a list and let her go grocery shopping for me,Master will give mary the money but if i feel better i will go with her but will not be lifting ANYTHING!

On a happier note Master informed me that he will be taking me over to Saratoga to GAMBLE!! next weekend for my birthday present,although my birthday is Wednesday march 18th we will celebrate it on the weekend.I LOVE SARATOGA AND I LOVE TO GAMBLE lol and play the slots.I cannot wait to go.what fun we will have and i will take my mind off my back problem for a day and relax and have fun.hopefully i will win a little or ALOT! lol but either way i am going for the fun of gambling win or lose its all about LUCK!

You all have a great day aand enjoy the beautiful weather if you live in the Vermont area it is a BEAUTIFUL spring day here and the snow is slowly melting away emoji !!! lol its about time don't you think? emoji Enjoy the rest of your day everyone. and be well always!!

We all need an outlet for our stress and sometimes we have to be creative in finding that outlet for ourselves and our partner as well.. emoji . Mine just happens to be annoying my owner on occasion. emoji You all have a great night sleep well and sweet dreams and I will return tomorrow and I will let you know how the interview went with Mary the potential domestic slave that I will need to have to help me with my daily chores. emoji

Hello and Good Day Everyone,

Master informed me that the domestic slave that He interviewed has accepted the position to come into our home and help me with chores,and I am thrilled so next I will meet with her in our home and will conduct my own interview with her under the supervision of Master being present. From what Master told me she has experience as a domestic slave and was owned and collared but now she is free looking for a new Master to serve and she has references and I will ask her typical questions like how long she has served her previous Master or Mistress what qualities she has,and I want to see how she interacts with my 2 girls/cats and if she has the patience with them and if I see any impatience with them I will not accept her in our home because I spoil my 2 girls/cats and they have the run of my place and can do whatever they want except to fight with one another so who ever does come into my home will allow my girls/cats to do whatever they want when they want to do it and will NEVER EVER raise her voice to them at any time and certainly NEVER Hit them because if anyone ever ABUSES my 2 girls/cats Master will ABUSE Them.and that is the end of that.When it comes to my girls/cats they will be treated well and they do not know what ABUSE is and NEVER will.

Plus I need to find out how much the slave can lift and if she can do heavy lifting,Master said she was very polite and has been trained well and I NEVER question Master and if He thinks she will work out I am sure she will but I want to interview her myself and judge for myself,It is very important to me to make sure we have the right domestic slave come into our home and take Over my daily chores,and if she is the right one she will start immediately.

If I can have my back surgery on the 29th of april she will be here 24/7 until I am able to take over all the chores myself and she will stay here once I get home from the hospital and she will take over all chores while Master takes care of me personally meaning cleaning my wound helping me get around ETC and Master and I will not have to worry about housework grocery shopping laundry ETC He can just concentrate on helping me recover,and since the domestic slave is not owned and collared at this time He will pay her for her services directly instead of paying her owner.

Her name is Mary she is 45 years old and she lives in rutland town,so she is not far away,she is unemployed at the moment so she can use the pay and job, and I will meet with her at our home next Saturday and if all goes well then we all will sign the short term domestic contract that Master printed out and she will start immediately. I am anxious to meet her and talk with her and see how my 2 girls interact with her and vice versa. emoji

You all have a great day and if you have not turned your clocks one hour ahead yet don't forget to do so or you will be late for work tomorrow. Enjoy your sunday. emoji

Hello Everyone.

Master and I had a lovely evening we went to a nice Italian restaurant then we went to see AMERICAN SNIPER!! It was AWESOME!! I cried when the sniper was killed and I LOVE CLINT EASTWOOD! I have always been a HUGE fan of his movies and he is MISTER COOL! to me. emoji He is a GREAT Actor and AMERICAN SNIPER in my personal opinion is his best director work to date.I would love to meet him in person and shake his hand. and from what I read about him personally He is a very nice Man in person and I can believe that He has that type of charator about him,if you haven't seen AMERICAN SNIPER I would highly recommend it it is a amazing piece of work from CLINT EASTWOOD! Master really enjoyed ot as well since He is a Army VET Himself emoji . It was a great night and we had a wonderful time together.it was nice and relaxing.

You all have a fantastic day and don't forget to set your clocks ahead 1 hour this weekend. Spring is quickly approaching. I am so ready for spring to arrive. emoji .

I am logging off early tonight but will return tomorrow, Master is taking me out to dinner and then a movie which will be fun and romantic for me. emoji I may not be able to do a lot physically I can still keep Master happy at least I try to the best of my abilities. You all have a good night everyone and I will return tomorrow. Enjoy your evening and night. Sleep well and have sweet dreams. emoji

Hello everyone,

My back/tailbone is KILLING ME TODAY!! I layed down for a couple of hours.my condition is becoming worse not better and this is why I DESPERATELY NEED THIS SURGERY TO HAPPEN!! Master has informed me that He is seeking a Domestic slave to come to our home and perform my domestic duties or at least help me with them,it is becoming to difficult for me to do them alone and He has been nothing but supportive,kind and understanding and he sees how much pain I am in daily now so He wants to try and make my life easier by hiring a domestic slave to help me and even take over some of my domestic duties for me which I am eternally grateful and I love him more for it.
I have noticed a lot of members have viewed my profile and as I stated in my audio message everyone is welcomed here I do not and will not discriminate against ANY MEMBER! all are welcomed here emoji . I RESPECT all members here and nobody is excluded from visiting my profile and why should they? I do not say some should view my profile and stop by while others cannot, EVERYONE is welcomed to visit and view my profile read my journal entries and listen to my audio messages. emoji and if I sound different I apologize because I am getting a cold but I enjoy recording small little messages it is FUN and I like it. I hope you all are having a good day and I will record another message later. Enjoy the rest of your day. emoji

Hello My friends.

My back/tailbone is feeling better today it doesn't hurt as much as yesterday,and I am still waiting for my heart monitor to arrive it was supposed to arrive today but so far nothing. If it does not come by Friday I will have to call the heart center again and tell them. I hope you all are having a great day and as I said in my audio message don't forget to set your clocks ahead 1 hour this weekend,finally day light savings time is upon us after a long hard snowy cold winter emoji .I like my new tablet Master bought me for Christmas it is small light weight and convenient and has some really cool features,the only thing I cannot do yet is upload and down load pictures I haven't figured it out yet but I am working on it. emoji . I hope the rest of your day goes well.take care and God Bless.

I have met some AMAZING people on this sight,and I appreciate all of the kind words thoughts prayers and good advice in which I heed. THANK YOU! I think you are AWERSOME and good people with kind gentle hearts and your heart shines brightly from the outside in. emoji

Good Day to all,

Well,finally some good news for a change for me, I just called the heart center and my heart monitor has been sent out TODAY and I should receive it on Wednesday and I am waiting for Heidi to call me back and let me know about my heart ultra sound and if my insurance approved it or not. Now things are starting to get done and I can proceed. emoji . It is about time my luck has started to change for the better after a few road blocks in my way. emoji I will post again once I receive an answer about my heart ultra sound and I will also post another audio message later this afternoon. I knew I just had to take a deep breath relax and think positive and not rush progress and good things will start to happen and they have for once in a very long time. I am moving in the right direction and God willing I will be able to have my back surgery APRIL 29TH. without any more delays emoji I will return later Have a GREAT Day and be well always emoji

Hello to everyone, I have to admit recording a audio greeting was pretty cool emoji . I am not sure how long a greeting or message I can record so I made my greeting short and to the point. I will record another message again soon. Master listened To it and liked it very much, He ordered me to keep all audio messages CLEAN per say because I am not here looking for SEX nor am I here looking for another MASTER and I do as I am told and I OBEY. emoji

Moving right along quickly lol Tomorrow morning I need to call the heart center and tell them I have not received my heart monitor yet nor have I received my appointment for a heart ultra sound and these are important to see if I will be able to have my long awaited back surgery or not and the longer it takes the longer it will be to know and I have waited going on 2 years already and 3 reschedule dates so things need to start to progress quickly or I will never be able to get my back surgery and I NEED it DESPERTLY to regain my life back.
It seems lately that everything. Comes so difficult for me and I cannot catch a break but I know I need to remain positive and patient and not be so anxious and that is very difficult to do but I have to and just when I think nothing is going to happen they will. Everything takes time and has a purpose so I just have to wait and continue on and that is just what jam doing. emoji . I cannot rush progress and if I cannot rush it I have to just go with it no matter how frustrating and aggravating it may be.

I hope you are having a very nice weekend and just think next weekend we turn our clocks ahead one hour and spring will finally be coming soon, It sure has been a long, cold, snowy winter this year and everyone is just waiting for warmer weather and all the snow to melt, especially ME lol I am so ready for spring to arrive. Take care of yourselves and each other and remember don't judge others because they may seem different from you embrace others and respect them and their opinions, values and points of view, diversity is what makes this country the way it is. emoji Be well and safe always.

Good Day to everyone,

I have often thought to myself if I never had the opportunity to meet my Master face to face would I stay? Would I walk away from a long distance relationship that I had built over a 12 year period? Would I give Master a time line as when I wanted to meet Him? And to be honest with everyone I do not have a answer to any of these questions, but I do know that Master and I worked very hard to keep our long distance relationship alive despite the fact we never really met face to face and our relationship was solely based on the internet and phone calls. But the more we established our long distance relationship the more I fell in love with him regardless of how indirect or impersonal it may have been, feelings started to develop for both of us and Love is a powerful emotion as is trust and as it stands at this moment in time I am very happy I never lost focus or perspective on what it was i was looking for in a Master and partner I never allowed any negative emotions to arise.
Of course it was not easy for either of us and not ever having the opportunity to meet prior to Master physically moving here to Vermont to live with me was not something I did not adjust to very well and I have to admit I did rebel on occasion just to see how far I could push Him and how much He would accept from me, and it was not much and justifiably so, it was hard enough being apart but rebelling and acting as a spoiled Bitch did not help our situation so I calmed down and stopped acting like a 10 year old spoiled little girl and started acting as a intelligent adult and when I did we grew closer and our long distance relationship flourished into what it is today emoji
Thank you all who are interested for taking time out of your busy day to stop by and read my entry I bid you all a Great day and I hope all is well with you and your loved ones. emoji

Hello to everyone. I hope your day is going well. I am still waiting for my heart monitor to arrive by UPS maybe today hopefully.   I need to start wearing it for 30 days and I am also still waiting on a phone call from the cardiologist for my heart ultra sound, usually the insurance approves every test and quickly, but maybe I am just being impatient and I know I am.
I Really have not had any issues with the insurance pertaining to tests, meds and even surgery they have treated me well and approved all tests, meds and any surgery I have had and need at the present.

Things have a way of working themselves out with a little patience tolerance and perserverience on my part and I just take things at face value and one day at a time, and speaking of one day at a time I would like to share a little inspiration that was given to me by a neighbor a few years ago before she passed away and every time I feel anxious,frustrated or find myself losing hope I read this and I feel calm and I am at peace once again and I hope by sharing this with you it makes you feel the same. emoji

                  ONE DAY AT A TIME!
                  (Author unknown)
Help me believe in what I could be and all that I am, Show me the stairway I have to climb, Lord; for my sake teach me to take one day at a time.

Master bought me a new tablet for Christmas because my dell computer I had for 14 years died lol and I am still trying to figure out how to upload pictures,this is why the picture I have on my profile I am keeping up until I can figure out how to upload other pictures. emoji I am also thinking about adding a audio greeting I think that would be pretty cool. emoji

Good Day to all.

I posted a few entries yesterday but they seemed to have disappeared without a trace lol. It must be that pesky journal thief again lol so I thought I would try again today.

I have had a few road blocks pertaining to my back surgery that has prevented me from actually having it done so I had to reschedule it once again for april 29th and this time it is because of a possible heart issue.

I am waiting for a appointment to have an ultra sound done on my heart and I have to wear a heart monitor for 30 days 24\7even when I go to bed, the only time I can remove the monitor is before I shower. However I realize everything happens for a reason even though I may not agree or understand why things happen and I know eventually things will fall into place. I am just taking one day at a time and expecting the unexpected. When I am in the car and Master is driving me to the hospital is when I know my surgery will happen until then I just wait for the results of my appointment to get the ultra sound done and go from there. The only thing I can do is accept whatever happens and deal with it to the best of my abilities and with Master helping me and being here with me I know I wild over come all obstacles.
You all have a wonderful day stay warm and well. emoji
I forgot to mention that I am a proud member of the ASPCA. emoji

Happy ew Year To All

Master and I hope You all had a GREAT Christmas and Now enjoying the New Year.

Since Te holidays are over,it is time for me to think about my up and coming Back surgery that I had to reschedule for Jan 21st.I need to get this done and now that the holidays are over i can focus My attention on my surgery and so can Master.

I just want it done so I can concentrate on my recovery and finally gain my life back and enjoy it and do the things i have nt been able to do for a year now,It has been a LONG PAINFUL hard road but now i have reached the end of it,and I need to stay healthy and not become sick and neither does Master because I really do not want to reschedule this again,and i am doing everything i can to remain heathy and not become sick

I hope 2015 will be good to you and your life is happy and you find all you seek,and I wish You good luck this year in whatever Yor do :-))

slave_brenda/brenda

Happy Hannakah And Merry Christmas

I hope everyone who is celebrating HANNANKAH is enjoying the holiday with your friends and Loved Ones. Master and His Daughters had a GREAT Hannakah.His Daughters flew back home yesterday,and now Master and i are preparing for CHRISTMAS! Everything is ready and now we just wait until Thursday.We are not having company just a quiet peaceful Christmas with my 2 girls/cats.

Then New years Eve Mastr and i will go out to dinner and then just come home before The traffic becomes bad and People get CRAZY! on the roads.I NEVER make it to midnight any way I am not a night person,NEVER have been.Master will stay up past midnight but not me.It still will be JAN 1ST 2015 when i get up in the morning lol so not staying up until midnight makes no difference to me :-))

I do pray that everyone here has a Nice Christmas no matter what you do,and enjoy a safe,happy New year. :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda

Before Master and i leave to pick up His Daughters at the airport,I wanted to sayTHANK YOU! to one of my Dearest Female submissive friend i have here.She is a DARLING! Just as my Female Dominant friend here,and they both DEFINES A TRUE FRIEND! :-))

A couple of NASTY People who sent me messages also sent My submissive friend mesages as well and was as NASTY to her as they were with me and one DELETED their account after telling her to F**k OFF! well of course she would,but anyway,She stood up for me and cared enough for me to do that,and the other IDIOT! after she tried to call Him out NEVER DID! and she cared enough about me to tell me what happened and what she did for me.

I told her i had no worries,these 2 people only contacted me once and then LEFT! never to be heard from again,but my whole point is you know who your true friends are through BAD TIMES not just good times,and i have 2 here who i consider TRUE FRIENDS! the FEMALE DOMINANT! who has been more then kind to me and my Sweet Female Submissive who tried to help me.THOSE kind of friends i am HONORED to have here and if i could i would gladly be their friend in my REAL LIFE! but here is just as good to me.

I Love them for who and what they are and for helping me,putting things into perspective for me and standing up for me.When you can have friends like those 2 LOVELY! Women you dont need more. I appreciate all their ,encouragment and help more then they will ever know and i want them to know that if they ever need me for any reason,i will be there for them as well.FRIENDS are difficult to find here and in REAL LIFE but when you do find them either in the VIRTUAL WORLD or in your REAL LIFE! You cherish them and be there for them as they are for you!.THANK YOU SO MUCH! for all you did for me in the last couple of days.

Let me just say i have learned a hard lesson but becoming WISER! But having GENUINE Friends like you and stand up for me and not let those who tried and hurt me let them hurt you,shows me your INNER STRENGTH! and know you are and will always be APPRECIATED by ME! :-))

You both have a WONDERFUL DAY! and know you are VERY special to me and always will be your FRIEND!

slave_brenda/Brenda! :-))

I was talking with Master last night and He also gave me some good advice,and if anyone gives me advice i do listen and take heed to what is said to me,and i never just say YEAH I KNOW THAT! if i did i wouldnt be doing it so taking advice from others is IMPORTANT! and also from my new Sweet Mistress friend.I really did some thinking about all my posts PERTAINING to christmas,and i realize maybe i went over the top with it,and Master told me last night that not everyone has a partner or is having a happy holiday season and for me to THROW how goosd it is for me i found out by talking with Master and my friend,that even though i am happy and my life is good maybe others is not so good,

My Mistress friend also said to me that i am the only one that can allow others to take away my Joy but on the other hand going on and on about Christmas and Hanakah makes others feel bad and i think i should APOLOGIZE! my intentions were never to HURT anyone or make anyone feel bad,and YES! People have RIGHTS and CHOICES as i have always stated,but i could also be more considerate of others and your feelings as well and not be so SELFISH! and from the Advice from Master and My Mistress friend here and my own thoughts.maybe i have been BRAGGING persay,but i guess that why i have been so happy is because i have waited 12 years to be with Master and this year is the very first year Master and i are together,and to me to have him live with me after all these years is the happiest time of my life and dealing with my condition with my back ETC!

So I want to APOLOGIZE for going on and on about how HAPPY I am even though i may have the right to continue to do so,i need to step back and think before i type and know that others are lonely and have no one and i should be more senitive to your feelings.i know what it is to be lonely and have been before Master came to live with me and i guess i had all this excitement and just wanted to share it,but i went about it the WRONG way.

So from now on i will not go on and on about how GREAT my life is with Master and how WONDERFUL The holidays are for me.and be more senitive to others an your feelings,and one Mistress said something to me that fianlly sunk in my mind she said to me why are you coming here talking about my life when i should just LIVE IT! and a few days ago i just thought that comment was a ATTATCK on me like the other NASTY COMMENTS i was receiving but when i put everything into perspective and talked with Master and My Mistress friend i know now she was RIGHT! why do i have to talk about how GOOD my life is when i can just continue to LIVE IT! so from now on i am taking the MERRY CHRISTMAS down 10 notches and not go on and on about me and my Christmas and have more consideration for others that may not have such a GREAT HOLIDAY!

This is what GOOD ADVICE does,it makes me step back and re-evaluate what i am doing and i know i can still post what i want in my own personal journal and others still have the choice NOT to read it but i know how others feel being ALONE! with nobody especially around the holidays and i am putting myself back in that lonely place and i know how BAD i would feel and even JEALOUS if i read in some ones Journal how GREAT Their life is and HOLIDAYS when i am LONELY! and i can utilize my choice NOT to read it but still reading about how GREAT others are doing when i am not doing so well.makes others feel pretty bad and i TRULY APOLOGIZE for that,i really did not mean to hurt anyone i thought i was just sharing my happiness and good fortune now,but i could have ben more SUTLE doing so and more senitive to others

So PLEASE forgive me for being so SELFISH! and insenitive about EVERYTHING! i guess i can be happy in my REAL LIFE without FLAUNTING! it and BRAGGING! about it i will just LIVE IT! I am the first one to APOLOGIZE and Master said i should APOLOGIZE to everyone and told me NOT! to continue to say how great CHRISTMAS is for me and i am going to do that.

All i will say is i pray you all will find something or someone to really make you smile and you find something to make you truly happy! that is all i will say :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda

I met a GENUINE Kind Mistress here who gave me some really good advice,and She is WONDERFUL! She never had a BAD word to say to me she had only kind encouraging words and she is very wise and Intelligent,and I am honored to be her friend.

She came to me when i needed to hear what she had to say,and her heart is gentle and kind,She is AMAZING! and just by chatting with her for the past couple of days made me re-evaluate my thought process and i can tell she is GENUINE! and a very EXPERIENCED MISTRESS! and any sub or slave would be honored to serve Her,and I am glad she is now my friend.She is wise in her advice and she is a LADY and i use that word STRONGLY! She is a LADY! and a BEAUTIFUL person inside and out,and she knows what she is talking about and i listen to what she has to say,and i knew there were some DECENT People here,and she is one of them :-)) I like her very much! She is not NASTY MEAN OR CRUEL to me and she is the nicest Female Dominant i have met here thus far,and i mean that sincerely,and i am looking forward to chatting with her more. She is my FRIEND! :-))

Thank You Ma'am for all your kindness and kind words and encouragment,and I hope You have a Bless_ed Merry Christmas.You really are a TRUE MISTRESS! I have met here to date :-)) and i am glad to know you and call you my FRIEND! :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Merry Christmas and Happy HANNAKAH To All!! :-))

Ahhhhh I Feel GREAT Today.Master received a call from His 2 Daughters last night and they are coming for HANNAKAH! :-)) They are really Lovely Girls and Intelligent.Master is VERY happy about them coming.They will be flying into Burlington Tomorrow and Master and i will go pick them up at the air port!.Later today Master and i will go Shopping for them because we did not expect them to visit,and I Enjoy their company and they like me as much as i like them :-)) Master did a good job raisng them and His wife did as well God Rest Her Soul,So Now HANNAKAH Will be even more special for Master and i am Happy about that.I cannot wait to see the girls.

They both have very good Jobs and One of His Daughters are going to Be married next summer His other Daughter Has a Boyfriend,but they will not be coming because they have to Work but Master and i will buy them a few gifts so the girls can bring them back home for them :-))

Life is GOOD! for Me and Master and now His daughters will be arriving for HANNAKAH! so it will be even more special,Also Sir Mark_contacted Master and invited us over to His House for a Christmas Party On Christmas Eve,so We will be going over to Sir_Marks for His Christmas Party!.He is a Very Nice Man and a EXCELLANT DOMINANT! and His slave_angie is a verry Compedant slave OEDIENT! and we have become good friends and we talk about everything and i was talking to her yesterday about the internet and what was going on here with me and she put things in a whole new perspective for me along with 2 WONDERFUL Submissives who Messaged me here and was Kind to me and I really appreciated it so now i feel GREAT! and i am back into a Good Happy Mood and ready for CHRISTMAS to arrive :-))

I hope You all have a FANTASTIC DAY and master and I wish You all a Very Merry and Bless_ed Christmas and HANNAKAH! :-))

slave_brends/Brenda

I have been thinking about all the NASTY Messages i have recieved,and i am trying to comprehend this so if everyone has a SHITTY LIFE and does not like me or what i say,then i should just leave the site WHICH I AM NOT! because i have every right to be here and i will stay whether MEMBERS are BORED of me or not

But it seems if others have a SHITTY LIFE and is not happy over CHRISTMAS then i should be the same way and say how bad my life is and how TERRIBLE things are for me to make EVERYONE here happy!! when i am happy with my life and MASTER! and i should post OH POOR ME! and my life SUCKS! when it doesnt!and leave!

However i am staying and still going to post what i want look i am sorry if your life SUCKS!! and you are not happy over the HOLIDAYS! but why should i be the same? its not my fault your life SUCKS and you are not happy.I am really sorry for that but i am happy and my life is good now since Master moved in with me and because others dont like me or what i post doesnt mean i am leaving.so in conclusion! I am truly sorry your life is not good for whatever reason,and you are not happy for whatever reason about the holidays! but i am happy and i do like the holidays and i pray if your life is so BAD! it gets better and if you are so UNHAPPY! i hope you find someone or something to make you happy but dont take your FRUSTRATIONS OUT on me when i am doing NOTHING! to anyone here.and trying to Get me to leave.I have a right to be here just like you! and if you hate me and everything about me so be it!

All the INSULTS and NASTY messages will not change anything and what i post daily.I mind my own business and will stay as long as i am not hurting YOU! or anybody else.

I hope you find happiness in your lives for the ones who have sent me NASTY MEAN MESSAGES! I have nothing against You or ANYONE,but i wil not be FORCED off this sight because I Post what i want when i want and other members others want me to! To me that is pretty CRUEL!I would not do that to anybody here or my REAL LIFE!

Enjoy your Evening All :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda

I really do not know how many times i have to STRESS THIS! i have said this over and over and I cannot understand WHY! REAL Members here and even the FAKE Ones cannot comprehend what I am about to say and this will be my last time,because i do not know if i can CLARIFY this any other way.

If any member here does NOT!! LIKE anything I Post in my PERSONAL JOURNAL! on a daily basis then PLEASE EXERCISE Your GOD GIVEN RIGHT NOT To read anything i post,as You have CHOICES and RIGHTS so do i and I have a right to post ANYTHING i want in my journals no matter how it looks to others be it BRAGGING to some BORING to others? ETC!

I do not FORCE!! anyone to be my friend,READ my journal entries or my PROFILE! and if you do not accept or like what i post THEN JUST DONT READ IT!! I do not know any other way to CLARIFY this issue,if You are not having a MERRY CHRISTMAS and like the fact I AM or Like the fact my Master is 69 and think I should have a YOUNGER Master or whatever other ISSUE You may have with what i post THEN JUST DONT COME HERE!!! I am not forcing YOU! or any other MEMBER and NON-FAKE MEMBER!!

But I have a right to post what i want when i want on a daily basis,and if you dont like it then I am sorry but UTILIZE Your CHOICE and RIGHT NOT TO READ IT! but i am not going to STOP posting about what i want because other Members and NON FAKE MEBERS may not APPRECIATE IT or like it when You all have a CHOICE not too.

I do not read other Journals add people as friends at random or message ANY OTHER MEMBER EVER! why? because i utilize my CHOICE NOT TOO! and i am not going to BOTHER any other member here so why is it so difficult for others to do the same??

All i will say is JUST DONT READ MY JOURNALS IF YOU DO NOT LIKE WHAT I POST!! it is so simple! but i will continue to post about anything i want because i am not hurting ANYONE! I mind my own business

From now on any messages i recieve from either REAL Members or FAKE MEMBERS! WITH FAKE PROFILES! i will PREVIEW them before opening them and if they are INSULTING,MEAN AND NASTY I will not open them instead i will just DELETE THEM! Because i am getting tired of repeating myself over and over again about this issue!

So..PLEASE!! IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ME,MY MASTER,WHAT I POST ABOUT ANYTHING UTILIZE YOUR RIGHT AND CHOICE NOT TO READ IT PERIOD! I cannot make this any clearer then i have!.With all this being said I bid You all a Good Day and MERRY CHRISTMAS! And HAPPY HANNAKAH!

slave_brenda/Brenda

I think I am going to act CHILDISH Now FOR GOLDEN RULES BDSM and post this entry just for him and talk about CHRISTMAS,AND MY 69 YEAR OLD SEXY HOT MASTER! lolol then it will be time to move on and not mention this FAKE WANNABE EVER AGAIN! and act as a 50 year old woman and not 10 years old!! but i want to make an impression on GOLDENRULES BDSM or whatever his NEW ID Is now lol Since He thinks my JOURNALS are BORING and HATES ME AND MY 69 YEAR OLD SEXY HOT MASTER! This is for Him!!

Well Master and I have a BEAUTIFUL LIFE Together and He is the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE AND HOT!!!!! and We will spend our very first christmas together in 12 years!! How wonderful it will be for Him and I!! and Master is getting ready for HANNAKAH! as i am since i will be spending that holiday with Him,We get the best of both Holidays together,and Our CHRISTMAS TREE Is FULL Of gifts from each other and for my 2 girls/cats! and they LOVE Master and much as i do! and He always smells sooooooooo!!!!!! Yummmmmmmmmy!!!! and when He wears BLACK!! It is MMMMMMMMMMMM!!! For me.He is the BEST Thing that has ever happened to me and i sure as hell would never consider a 41 year old YOUNG INEXPERIENCED MASTER AS GOLDENRULES BDSM!! Plus He is a FAKE! i could tell just by his NASTY MESSAGE! Mine is 69 SEXY,HOT,EXPERIENCED AND KNOWLEDGABLE! and PERFECT For Me and to me!

We both have been waiting 12 years to PHYSICALLY be together and this year it happened and we are both HAPPY and CONTENT! and i can celecrate my own CATHOLIC HOLIDAYS and MASTER JEWISH HOLIDAYS! How great is that? :-)) and I THANK GOD on a daily basis for bringing MASTER to me.I LOVE Him so much and i am IN Love with Him and will be for the rest of my life!!

So what do you think about this post GOLDENRULES BDSM!! is this BORING enough for You and do You HATE it when I say My 69 year old Master IS HOT! in this entry? :-)) I hope You do because these are the type of entries i will continue to post because everything i post is TRUE! and if you dont like it? I am glad keep coming back! lolol Master is more of a MAN Then You will EVER BE!! You are NOTHING! but a FAKE and could not DOMINATE A Woman if she was standing in front of you,

But since you think my JOURNALS are BORING and i should SHUT UP! I wanted to post this last one just for YOU! Today but make sure you return tomorrow and every day after that for more BORING ENTRIES of Me talking about CHRISTMAS and my SEXY HOT 69 YEAR OLD MASTER!! :-)) but know if you message me ever again with what you previous told me with a NEW FAKE PROFILE?! i will know then i will BLOCK You 1 last time and then i will REPORT You for harrassment,but you are always welcome to come quietly and read my BORING ENTRIES ay day you would like because you will read more about my SEXY HOT 69 YEAR OLD MASTER AND CHRISTMAS! :-)) until CHRISTMAS is over then i will discuss my up and coming BACK SURGERY and my SEXY MASTWR! so please come back and read more of my EXCITING ENTRIES! :-)) Just remember if you ever MESSAGE ME AGAIN,AND I KNOW ITS YOU THEN I WILL REPORT YOU! then you will LOVE How boring my etries are!! :-))

Well,I think i have wasted enough of my words on an WANNABE and IDIOT Like You GOLDENRULES BDSM or who ever you are now! i think i got my point across to YOU! as childish as i kow it is was.It was JUST FOR YOU! BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCH A NICE GUY!! LOLOLOL NOT!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha!!

Have a WONDERFUL DAY GOLDENRULESBDSM and come back soon! I will be posting more of my BORING ENTRIES and talking about CHRISTMAS AND MY SEXY HOT 69 YEAR OLD MASTER!! :-))

For all others Members I wish You a GREAT Day and I am sorry for RANTING! But this Guy Really HURT Me so He so DESERVES MY WRATH! But I promise tomorrow will be back to normal.Merry Christmas and HAPPY HANNAKAH! to All :-))

WOW! I cant believe ANOTHER NON FAKE MEMBER under the ID HAPPY HOLIDAYS!Messaged me with INSULTS! i guess i made a impression on all the FAKES here! oh well,i have said all i will say but will continue to GUSH about CHRISTMAS and MASTER! i wonder how many more people with FAKE PROFILES will send me NASTY messages today lolol probably ALOT! i will have to wait and see read them,DELETE Them and BLOCK Them until they make a NEW FAKE PROFILE! :-))

I just received the NASTIEST Message from a WANNABE MALE DOMINANT TO DATE!! It was SO NASTY I will post His ID! so everyone will know Him in case He sends others NASTY MEAN MESSAGES His ID s GOLDENRULESBDSM! He went on to say My Journals are BORING and INSULTED Me and my Master and told me i can SHOVE MY HOLIDAY TREE UP MY ASS AND SHUT UP!! and i did reply to His NASY Message with my own in return and I was far more NASTY!.But the IRONIC Thing is when I tried to type in His ID It came up PROFILE NOT FOUND! well of course it did!! But I did block Him and told Him if he came back with another ID i would BLOCK Him again and keep doing it.

But it will not stop me from posting what i want in my PEROSNAL JOURNAL! He like every other Member has the right NOT to read my Journals,or PROFILE! but the NASTY Message this IDIOT sent me i did reply and BLOCKED Him! so if someone by the ID Of GOLDENRULESBDSM! Sends you a NASTY MESSAGE! Just BLOCK THE FAKE WANNABE MORON!! Because He is VERY INSULTING MEAN AND NASTY! but He will more then likely have a NEW Profile for the next member he will contact with NASTY Messages! but if i know it is him and he continues to CONTACT ME I will REPORT Him for HARRASSMENT! I called Him a few choice words myself!! I told Him i will NOT SHUT UP! and will continue to talk about CHRISTMAS and MASTER all i want whether He likes it or not and I do think my 69 YEAR OLD MASTER IS HOT!!!!!!!! just because others dont think so I REALLY DONT CARE what others think of me,Master or my Journals! since i mind my own business and NEVER force anyone to read them nor do i bother or read other journals I will continue to post what i want when i want and discuss Master,CHRISTMAS and anything else i want and if other members dont like what i post then dont read my journals!! its that simple just move on!! I NEVER read other journals i just come here post in my own and leave!

so If this FAKE WANNABE has a NEW PROFILE made and is reading this entry,I WILL CONTINUE TO POST ABOUT CHRISTMAS AND MY HOT 69 YEAR OLD MASTER!! and if you dont like it! I REALLY DONT GIVE A F**K I am not bothering you so i will just keep coming here daily and NOT SHUT UP! dont like it then DONT COME HERE! and MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! NOTHING I POST CONCERNS YOU!! and I will not STOP! SO DEAL WITH IT!!

PLEASE NOTE..

This RANT is NOT meant toward ALL members Here there are some who are RESPECTFUL! and Kind,This Entry is for all Members or People who make FAKE PROFILES! who send me NASTY,MEAN CRUEL MESSAGES! INSULTING Me,Master and my JOURNALS! Not All members here are NASTY! I have noticed that these typs of NASTY messages I receive are from people who make FAKE PROFILES that they delete immediately after they send me the messages! because as i said previously they are COWARDS! Or their PROFILES are HIDDEN but either way,those are the ones who tend to send me NASTY MESSAGES! and will not ACCEPT nor TOLERATE! and this IDIOT was the WORSE! so I decided to EXPOSE Him for Who and What HE IS NOT!! but know it is not toward all Members just certain ones and all NON-MEMBERS that should not be here in the first place!

slave to MY 69 Year old HOT Master! :-))

Happy Holidays,Happy Holidays,The Merry Bells Are Ringing Happy Holidays To You! :-))

Also My HANNAKAH Version,Happy HANNAKAH,Happy HANNAKAH,The MANORAH CANDLE Is BRIGHT Happy HANNAKAH To You! :-))

I Have a PET PEEVE about SAYING HAPPY HOLIDAYS Instead of MERRY CHRISTMAS because by wishing others A MERRY CHRISTMAS! you OFFEND THEM why? because they do not BELIEVE IN JESUS CHRIST! And I have no issues with that per say because not evrybody does! But when You cannot even say MERRY CHRISTMAS to anyone for fear of OFFENDING Them,that OFFENDS ME! because I DO Bleieve In JESUS CHRIST! and what CHRISTMAS stands for.

People have to UNDERSTAND that the OFFENSE is a 2 way STREET because I Also get OFFENDED! when People say HAPPY HOLIDAYS To Me instead of MERRY CHRISTMAS! and I am sorry people a CHRISTMAS TREE is a CHRISTMAS TREE NOT A HOLIDAY TREE!! They have been referring to CHRISTMAS TRESS! as CHRISTMAS TRESS Longer then I have been ALIVE! and it seems a little RIDICULOUS to go into a RETAIL store and says a Sales CLERK for a HOLIDAY TREE! lol PLEASE!! IT IS A CHRISTMAS TREE!!! NOT HOLIDAY TREE!!

However... for me to not be OFFENDED as others are by saying HAPPY HOLIDAYS instead of MERRY CHRISTMAS,I incorporate the fact that CHRISTMAS is a HOLIDAY! so if i put it in that perspective it doesnt OFFEND Me as much asfter all THANKSGIVING,CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS are HOLIDAYS! persay,so by extending HOLIDAY GREETINGS in that perspective makes it ACCEPTABLE to me,but i have to say I NEVER Had anyone Say to Me in my REAL LIFE when I am at a store or out and about when I wish them a MERRY CHRISTMAS they NEVER say I AM OFFENDED BY THAT REMARK! so it NEVER really has affected me NEGATIVELY! and I always SAY HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS! to sales clerks this time of year,and i am always polite and kind to them

I have been on the other side of the counter so i know how difficult it is to be a CASHIER especially this time of year.Customers are RUDE,MEAN AND NASTY! to the casiers and BLAME them if the prices are WRONG or higher then advertized or a certain item is out of stock! Well,Its not their fault They just are trying to ring everybody out in a timly manner and they are EXHAUSTED by the end of their shift after dealing with RUDE CUSTOMERS! and when i get to a cashier and i see He/She is having a rough day and you can tell by the look on their face,I am always polite and say Hello,How are You today? and I make them smile

and if i can actually talk with them a moment i tell them I have been in your place and the CUSTOMER is not always RIGHT!! and i say to the cashier,People have no CLUE how difficult it is to be a UNDER PAID,WITH NO BENEFITS PART TIME DEAD END JOB CASHIER and how would the MEAN NASTY Customers like it if the CASHIER went to their JOB got into their face and SCREAM AT THEM and BLAME them for something that is out of their control!! and the cashiers all agree with me but you cannot say those things but you sure as hell can think it! I know i did when i was a cashier.It is a DEAD END LOW PAYING NO WHERE THANKLESS JOB! and its PART TIME WITH NO BENEFITS! but people have to work,but you cannot survive on a MINIMUM WAGE PART TIME JOB! you have to work 2 or three to make any money and its sad!

So I know what its like to be a CASHIER and i am always PATIENT,and Kind to the cashier I realize its CHRISTMAS and its going to be busy and have long waiting lines and if other people are TIRED AND MAXED OUT THEIR CREDIT CARDS AND NOW BROKE THEY SHOULD NOT TAKE IT OUT ON A POOR CASHIER! Its NOT THEIR FAULT! but the people do it all the time i know first hand!!This is why i will NEVER work in RETAIL AGAIN!

Anywho... enough of that DEPRESSING conversation! lol just a FYI!! lol but a long FYI!!But I LOVE the Holidays and we all have our own traditions and family rituals every year,and this is a SPECAIL and BEAUTIFUL time of the year and i wish it could last the whole year not just on CHRISTMAS!! Good Will to Men and Women,Love,Peace,Sharing and Caring about others.

Master and i will donate to charity this time of year,we will pick a name of a tree in a retail store of some poor little girl and boy then we go to the dollar store and buy about 10 gifts each wrap them and deliever them back to the store so they can be distributed and we try and get little boys and girls,so we can buy toys and coloring books,dolls and trucks for them and make some poor little girl and boy happy at christmas :-)) it makes Our hearts happy and filled with LOVE when we can share our good fortune with others :-))

Well this post has been long and i sure typed alot this morning,this will last until tomorrow lol it will read like a short NOVEL!lol Today i am a MOTOR MOUTH! lol Master calls me that all the time because i LOVE to talk and talk with Him when He tires of it He shoves a BALL GAG in my mouth and i try and laugh through the gag and Master laughs as well and says THERE!! NOW YOU WILL SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! and all i can say is MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! through my gag! :-))

I wish You all a VERY MERRY AND BLESS_ED CHRISTMAS and HANNAKAH! and I pray God sends You an a abundance of Happiness,Joy,Love and Peace in your life not just this time of year but all of Next year and so on! Enjoy Your Day! :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Silver Bells,Silver Bells Its Christmas Time In The City,Ring A Ling,Hear Them Ring,Soon It Will Be Christmas Day!! :-))

THANK GOD! You cant actually hear me sing the words,lol You would pay me just to STOP!! LMAO!!! hahahahahaha! ;-))

I believe now I am READY for CHRISTMAS! Presents are Bought and Wrapped,The Christmas Dinner Menu Planned,My Girls Have Their Gifts HIDDEN of course,all i am waiting for now is the Holiday to arrive,and i am soo ready :-) i always have CHRISTMAS MUSIC on my TV 7 days a week,until Master and i want to watch a Movie or show on XFINITY! then its right back to MUSIC CHOICE CLASSIC CHRISTMAS MUSIC CHANNEL! :-)) Its nice just listening to the music while watching the different CHRISTMAS Scenes they put up and reading DID YOU KNOW FACTS about CHRISTMAS! :-)) Next week i will buy all the food nesessary for our FEAST and it will be just MASTER,myself and my 2 girls/cats! a peaceful,quiet tranquill CHRISTMAS! and we will open our gifts CHRISTMAS NIGHT not morning! because it extends the holiday.

We dont have little children so we can open our gifts anytime of the day and after dinner in the evening is when we will do it :-)) then we can savor and appreciate our gifts more! :-)) Master told me He bought me something that i really will LOVE! hmmmmmmm!!!! I wonder what it could be,maybe he is going to wrap himself and place a BIG RED BOW Around His C**K for me to unwrap :-)) MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! what a DELICIOUS THOUGHT!! :-))

That would be the BEST Gift to unwrap while i inhale DEEPLY and smell Him!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! He always smells and look SO DAMN SEXY!! and he knows what he does to me thats why he does it :-)) He is CONSIDERATE like that and knows EXACTLY what buttons to push to take me over the edge :-))

HELL YES!! I do talk alot about his GREATNESS! because He is GREAT to me and that is all who matters ME!! I sure as hell would not want him to be GREAT for any other SLAVE! not after waiting 12 years to be PHYSICALLY together! NO WAY NO HOW!! lol Only GREAT TO ME!! and SEXY AS HELL!!!!!! To ME! and i can guarantee you all He impresses me on a daily basis! and He says i IMPRESS him and He is the only one who matters to me and He is the only one i need to be POPULAR with and i am 24/7 i cant say 365 yet until next June lol because it wont be a year until then :-)) but i can say 24/7 :-)) and i mean in general not just BDSM!

We have a close Loving M/s and VANILLA relationship and we discuss EVERYTHING! with one another NO SECRETS! why would there be SECRETS between us? we are always OPEN and HONEST with one another as it should be for a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!SECRETS Just DESTROY! a other wise stable HEALTHY relationship and i am not about to DESTROY a relationship i have waited 12 years to have,and i have no DESIRE to do so!

However.. Master and i also need our own PIVATE space and this is why on occassion i will ask Master if i may go out by myself for a while just to have my own PRIVATE time and He allows it and Master also does the same,It would be UNHEALTHY! if we stayed GLUED together at the hips plus why would we do that? We still have our own interests seperate from one another and we persue them.Master has gained friends Here since Movng in with me and he goes and visits with them on occassion when he wants some ME! Time or He just goes out to be alone as i do and by keeping our INDIVIDUALL Lives our relationship flourishes.

Master and i would become TIRED and BORED with one another if we only focused our time and lives to one another and we realize the fact we are both INDIVIDUALS! with our own outside interests.and we TRUST! one another COMPLEELY! and neither have a PLACE for JEALOOUSY in our relationship.My personal view on JEALOUSY is if one exhibts that UNHEALTHY TRAIT! to me it means INSECURITY and not being able to TRUST Your partner,and if one is INSECURE with themselves and their partner and cannot TRUST Them to have outside friendships for FEAR of LOSING Them then those are SERIOUS TRUST ISSUES that should be addressed because it will DESTROY a relationship.

Number 1 I am VERY secure in myself and my relationship with MASTER
Number 2 I TRUST Master with my Life and i have no TRUST Issues,so our relationship remains HEALTHY and STRONG! and we balance our M/s relatioship with our VANILLA Romantic relationship! and we allow ourselves the PERSONAL SPACE i believe we all need.so this is why in my own relationship that it has been successful for 13 years and 12 of that APART! :-)) LOVE,TRUST AND HONESTY Makes for a HEALTHY SUCCESSFUL RELATIOONSHIP! :-))

You all have a FANTASTIC DAY!! And Many CHRISTMAS and HANNAKAH Blessings to You,Your Loved Ones And Friends!

slave_brenda/Brenda

We wish You a Merry Christmas,We Wish You A Merry Christmas,We Wish You A Merry Christmas And A Happy New Year!! :-))

I am Soooooooooo!!! Happy Life is good Now And CHRISTMAS is Quickly approaching :-)) and I have the SEXIEST MASTER ALIVE! He is GREAT,He is HOT,He is AWESOME! And He is the LOVE OF MY LIFE! and Smells so DAMN GOOD! :-)) and i have my 2 girls/cats So YES! Life is good and soon i will have my long awaited surgery and then hopefully regain my life back and pick up where i left off!

Plus we have SNOW for CHRISTMAS.I did not think we were going to for a long while but now we have plenty.It Looks like CHRISTMAS Now with the snow :-)) Master took me grocery shopping today so i did not have to drive in it because i HATE It lol Master doesnt mind but i do.lol

Master gave me the menu for our Christmas Dinner so its final. We will be having PRIME RIB ROAST with Asparagus,Master also wants Cresant rolls the JUMBO Kind,some red potaotes I LOVE the red potatoes :-)) a Toss Salad,and since i cannot have a DRINK because of my morphine,He wants some SPARKLING WHITE AND DARK GRAPE JUICE! however it isnt sugar free but 1 glass of that wont hurt him,and he liked the idea of a SUGAR FREE CHOCOLATE CAKE With SURGAR FREE PEANUT BUTTER FROSTING! and i already called one of our local bakeries and asked them if they could make me that type of cake and they said YES! they could,i asked them what SUGAR SUBSTITUTE they will be using and they said SPLENDA! PERFECT! just what i wanted :-)) SPLENDA is all i have as well and i am not a DIABETIC! :-)) I NEVER use REAL SURGAR in or on ANYTHING! Its better for me anyway :-))

I told the baker I want a nice Christmas Decoration scene on my cake and they are going to put little wreaths around the outter edge of the cake and make a Pretty POINSETTA FLOWER Right in the middle of the cake! It will be to pretty to cut :-)) I asked them if they could have it ready by CHRISTMAS EVE MORNING around 9am and it will be done and ready for me to pick up! I wanted a double layer cake and it will cost 15.00 Thats cheap and doable :-)) I dont care how much it cost,i want the cake regardless of the price,I am going all out for MASTER and myself this year! Our 1st one PHYSICALLY TOGETHER! so money is not an option for us this year :-)) I either GO BIG OR GO HOME!! lol so I am going BIG AND EXPENSIVE for MASTER! :-)) and of course my 2 girls will receive many toys with cat nip as well cant forget my 2 PRECIOUS GIRLS! :-))WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS THIS WILL BE FOR ME AND MASTER! :-))

I cannot wait and then going over to lasalette Shrine next Saturday Master talks about that all the time He is so looking forward to going with me :-)) He will not be DISAPPOINTED!He will LOVE IT! He keeps asking me if there are really over 20.000 CHRISTMAS LIGHTS and i assure him there is,and if anybody has ever been there especially now you know what i am talking about,

The whole hillside is full of DISPLAYS and Lights and the front is all displays and lights ETC EVERYTHING! at LASALETTE IS DISPLAYS AND LIGHTS! :-)) Absolutely BEAUTIFUL and the priests there are so very kind and the sermons they give are INTENSE and GRAB your attention.it just is really a lovely tranqull place to worship JESUS CHRIST on His BIRTHDAY and see the TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS! :-))

I bid you all a GOOD NIGHT! and Master and i wish everyone a Bless_ed Christmas and a SAFE and Happy 2015! :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

I just received a nice message from a submissive asking what i will serve for Christmas dinner?

Well,I wanted HAM! But HAM is TABOO for Master since He is JEWISH! So no HAM or PORK! and we had turkey for Thanksgiving at Sir_Marks house,so i think I will buy a PRIME RIB ROAST! and have that and whatever Master would like,then For New Years I am having CHICKEN CORDONBLEU and JUMBO SHRIMP! :-)) MMMMMMMMMMM!! DELICIOUS! :-)) And speaking of SEAFOOD,Next saturday the 20th of December Master and i are heading over to LASALETTE SHRINE in ENFILED NEW HAMPSHIRE! to see the over 20.000 CHRISTMAS LIGHTS and go to Mass at the small church there,but first we are going over to the WEATHER VAIN RESTAURANT in West LEB NEW HAMPSHIRE for some yummy SEAFOOD! For me consisting of some SHRIMP,SCALLOPS AND CLAMS and that is the extent of my seafood and FISH! for Master LOBSTER! :-)) HE LOVES IT!! and He is looking forward to our little trip because He has NEVER Been over to LASALETTE SHRINE or even heard of it because He has only been living with me here in VERMONT for 6 months and it is our first CHRISTMAS PHYSICALLY TOGETHER! so this is new to Him but not me i go every year but this year i will have my MASTER by my side and i will be SMILING ALL THE WAY! :-)) for once i do not have to go alone :-))

I told Master how BEAUTIFUL LASALETTE SHRINE is on the Holidays the lights and displays are ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL! He will be in AWE!! I know that for a fact because i was the very first time i went there on CHRISTMAS EVE! and now they have added more lights so it looks AMAZING! and it is a peaceful,tranquill place for me and it gives me time to REFLECT and give thanks and PRAISE JESUS CHRIST! for my many blessings He has given to me and for my up and coming surgery and most importantly for MASTER and my 2 CATS/GIRLS! the loves of my life :-))

Now back to CHRISTMAS DINNER! I will buy a PRIME RIB ROAST! Some asparagus that Master wants and whatever else He would like and for dessert some type of SUGAR FREE CAKE Because Master is ALSO DIABETIC so He cannot have REGULAR Sweet desserts so i am going to have a SUGAR FREE CHOCOLATE CAKE MADE with SURGAR FREE PEANUT BUTTER FROSTING (made with SPLENDA PERFERABLY) or whatever substitute SUGAR they have,and have it decorated with a little CHRISTMAS SCENE or something near to it :-))

Whatever Master wants I will buy for Him and i will enjoy it as well :-)) It will be a nice quiet little CHRISTMAS with my LITTLE FAMILY! It doesnt get any better then that Ladies and Gentlemen :-))

Now if you all will excuse me i have to get Master up,prepare his Breckfast and shower so we can go grocery shopping :-)) Again enjoy your day stay SAFE and WARM! :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

yu677

Its beginning to look like Christmas,Everywhere You Go :-))

OH MY GOD! in 2 days i think we received about 8 inches to a foot of HEAVY WET SNOW! when we had NOTHING 3 days ago lol but for VERMONT! not having snow now does not feel like CHRISTMAS! now it does,However we have plenty so no more lol I HATE to drive in the snow so Master is taking me grocery shopping later i usually go by myself but not when there is alot of snow :-))

It gets me more in the CHRISTMAS SPIRIT! when there is snow on the ground,plus it makes my Lawn displays look PRETTY! :-)) better then the DREARY DARK RAIN we have been receiving! but the 26th of December it can all melt lol the moment has past,Just keep it at that point on Killington and Pico Mountains for the skiers! :-))

Moving along.. Master is such a GREAT MIND FUCK/MANIPULATOR! I LOVE HEAD GAMES he plays with me and the INTIMIDATION and MANIPULATION! It makes me think that what Master says He will ACTUALLY! Do and He called me a CUNT and FUCK YOU!! and all i could say was MMMMMMMMMMM!!!! He knows i LOVE VERBAL ABUSE! because it really is not ABUSE because i love it and want it! but it is a DOUBLE EDGED SWORD for me because the more i BEG Him to call me names the more He REFUSES to do so! because it is PLEASUREABLE to me and PLEASURE i have to EARN! so if i want Master to call Me names and get me HOT! I have to earn it.What he does is start with MANIPULATION and INTIMIDATION and call me names then when He knows i am getting SEXUALLY EXCITED He STOPS! and walks away and leaves me BEGGING and FRUSTRATED but it is all part of the GAME we play!! He is a MASTER MANIPULATOR And INTIMIDATOR! and to me that is So SEXY! and makes me WANT him more! to hear his SEXY DOMINANT VOICE calling me names pushes me over the EDGE!

The best part is instead of hearing his SEXY DOMINANT VOICE over the phone for 12 years MANIPULATING and INTIMIDATING me He does it face to face when it is more INTENSE! for me and to be honest with everyone i enjoy the MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL aspect of BDSM more then the PHYSICAL because the physical aspect and play goes away quickly and fades but the EMOTIONAL and MENTAL aspects stay and linger longer and it gets deep into your mind set and makes you think! Will MASTER really follow through with that he has THREATENED to do to me? Maybe YES maybe NO! but that is the BEAUTY of the MANIPULATION and INTIMIDATION! and one i CRAVE from Master on a daily basis! it makes me go MMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! Master pleaseeeeeeee MORE MORE!! :-))

Well Ladies and Gentlmen i am going now to have some ME Time before i get Master up and ready to take me to the grocery store :-)) So for all members who live here in the North East PLEASE drive careful,stay warm and SAFE and all members EVERYWHERE else I bid You all a Good Day and a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS to All!! and HAPPY HOLIDAYS

slave_brenda/Brenda!

The Weather outside is FRIGTFUL! The Fire is so DELIGHTFUL! and since we no place to go let it snow,let it snow.let it snow :-))

I am very excited about HANNAKAH and CHRISTMAS fast approaching,I cannot wait to see Masters Handsome face When He opens all His gifts I bought for him and i cannot wait to open mine :-))

This CHRISTMAS is SPECIAL for me and for MASTER because we are finally PHYSIALLY TOGETHER! and as the saying goes ITS A DREAM COME TRUE or should i say A FANTASY! come true for me :-)) 12 long years living apart praying,and hoping Master and i would 1 day be together and this year it happened,so i went way over my BUDGET for CHRISTMAS because i have 2 holidays to celebrate,HANNAKAH and CHRISTMAS! :-)) and it does not matter to me and i know my 2 girls/cats have plenty of toys and cat nip as well thanks to MASTER and myself :-))

Master is SO DAMN SEXY! and He has a VERY SEXY DOMINANT VOICE! and smells MMMMMMMMMMM!! YUMMMY! every day,and since i bought more of his Sweet smelling EXPENSIVE COLOGNE He will continue to smell good enough to eat :-)) He is the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE TO ME! and i NEVER consider him OLD! He is SEXY,MATURE just the way i like my MASTER! I Love His EXPERIENCE and KNOWLEDGE! and His WISDOM! i could sit for hours and talk with him and NEVER become bored :-)) and he makes sure that whatever BDSM activities i can do is always EXCITING!

After i finally have my surgery i am PRAYING i can play with more INTENSITY! as Master likes but for now it is more MENTAL,AND EMOTIONAL Play then physical because of my condition of a TETHERED SPINAL CORD! But when PHYSICAL play is involved Master is VERY careful with me and i normally NEVER use my SAFE WORD! but since i have SUFFERED with this condition i have to use it and Master RESPECTS! It and STOPS PLAY IMMEDIATELY! Because He knows i am hurting! I HATE having a SAFE WORD with Master because i TRUST Him with my LIFE! but i have to use it temporarily until i fully recover from my back surgery!

Master and i have a HEALTHY M/s relationship that co-insides with our VANILLA ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP! They both balance out :-)) i was in a playful mood last night so i decided to ANNOY MASTER and make him laugh a while,i sat at his feet and i tied and untied his shoes over and over again saying MASTER,MASTER,MASTER,MASTER!! LMAO!!!!! I get in those moods sometimes then i walked around the house saying MASTER,MASTER,MASTER,MASTER!! lolol after a while Master grabbed me threw me on the bed and..... that is all i am going to devulge! You can use your imagination for the rest! :-))

Sometimes Master wants me to ANNOY Him and be a BRATTY BITCH! and he calls me that and it makes me MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!! Thats all i will say about that! :-))

You all have a FANTASTIC DAY! and i hope your CHRISTMAS AND HANNAKAH Shopping is finished or almost finished! :-)) I think i am completely finished now! unless i think of something else to buy Master you NEVER Know with me :-))

From Master and Myself we wish you and yours a VERY MERRY BLESS_ED CHRISTMAS and a SAFE and HAPPY 2015

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Joy To The World,The Lord Has Come,Let Earth Receive her King :-))

I just arrived home from shopping for Master and bought Him 8 more gifts for HANNAKAH! :-)) and i really cannot put them near the Manorah Candle so I had to put them in a special place under the tree and they are marked HANNAKAH GIFTS FOR MASTER! :-)) He will like what i bought him for both CHRISTMAS and HANNAKAH :-)) Let me think of a few gifts i bought Him,Of course his Swwet smelling EXPENSIVE COLOGNE :-)) MMMMMMMM!!! YUMMY!! i bought Him a BLACK LEATHER JACKET it is ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL! I bought Him a new pair of BLACK DRESS SHOES! :-)) ummm let me think i bought him new shirts,a pair of BLACK LEATHER MENS BOOTS! i bought Him many gifts and i am trying to remember lol BLACK DRESS SOCKS! You see i LOVE MASTER wearing BLACK! so BLACK is my choice of colors,and for 1 reason only not because BLACK is my favorite color BLUE is my favorite color but because in my BDSM WORLD! BLACK is a sign of CONTROL AND AUTHORITY! and NO! Clothes do not make the DOMINANT! i realize that it is the Person that makes Him/her a DOMINANT not the clothes they wear but for me BLACK enhances Master and He looks DAMN SEXY WEARING IT! :-)) that is why i bought Him BLACK CLOTHING! :-))

I also bought Him a new Leather wallet,a watch, and the the most BEAUTIFUL GIFT of all A BLACK ONYX RING! with small real diamonds around the band,and YES! it was expensive but He is going to LOVE IT! and he is worth it! :-)) but that gift i am giving Him on CHRISTMAS not HANNAKA! :-)) and there are more gifts as well,MRS.CLAUS who is ME! SPOILED Him ROTTEN this year since it is the first year in 12 years we have been PHYSICALLY together! :-)) i went all out for Him and i know he did for me too :-))

I am going to present the BLACK ONYX RING to Master in a RITUAL STYLE! When i present Master with His Gift,I will be kneeling before Hm on a pillow with the small pretty wrapped gift box placed gently in His favorite chair along with a Christmas card,and i will not rise;look or speak to Master until he opens his gift and allows me to speak,and i also have prepared a little speech in his honor that i will share with you now,only when i am allowed to rise but NEVER Look at him, i will ask Him if i may recite my speech i prepared and if he says YES! I will say...

My Dearest Master,

Thank You for giving me everything i need and for being my pillar of STRNGTH this year,You have been nothing but supportive,encouraging,and loving toward Me,and you have helped through the the most difficult time in my life.I thank you for always believing in me when i was ready to give up,for teaching me how to be a OBEDIENT GOOD SLAVE for you and how to SERVE You properly.

When we met 12 years ago i never thought in my wildest dreams that a Man/Master could make me so happy and i could fall IN Love with such a Man/Master as yourself,You made it so easy for me to LOVE You and OBEYING you seemed to have come naturally for me,You have shown me and taught me so much over the 12 years we were apart and I cannot thank you enough for your FIRM GUIDING HANDS! and i want you to know my most beloved,how much i ADORE You,ADMIRE You,RESPECT You,CHERISH You and APPRECIATE You! and i love you not for what you can give me or what i can stand to gain from you living with me but by the MAN/MASTER You are the NATURAL DOMINANT You are and how i know just how quietly you keep your DOMINANCE to yourself.

I Love everything about you and most importantly i love your HEART! Your kind gentle HEART! that shines from within,I Promise YOU My Beloved MASTER that i will NEVER break it and i shall always encase it and protect it with my Love,and Devotion to YOU! and Thank You MASTER for choosing me to be your SLAVE who will go out of her way to serve you and make you happy!. You came into my life when i needed you the most and GOD sent you to me.You took all the lonliness away and all the tears i shed away! and know this,that no matter what happens and what trials and tribulations You and i may face that there is no one else in this whole world that i would rather go through those TRIALS and TRIBULATIONS with then YOU!

Thank You for all you do,for all that you are to me and for being the MASTER and PARTNER i have always wanted!

            I Love You Master!
           Your Obedient slave ALWAYS!
                Brenda!

Have A Holly Jolly Christmas,Its The Best Time Of The Year! :-))

I LOVE The Holidays even when i lived alone although it was lonely because i missed Master so much i still had my girls to keep me company :-))

I know something i did not share with you,I celebrate 2 types of Holidays now,My own and Masters and Vice Versa,Why? because Master is JEWISH! So i also celebrate all JEWISH Holidays along with my Christian Holidays! and Master receives DOUBLE The gifts LUCKY HIM! :-))

I enjoy celebrating the JEWISH Holidays with Master because i find His RELIGION so interesting and i always have to remember NOT to serve PORK! I go to temple with Master as he comes to my CATHOLIC CHURCH with me.I LOVE IT! I have been doing some research on the JEWISH FAITH! and i can honestly say it goes back a long way and i find much of their traditions to be BEAUTIFUL! and i have a MANORAH CANDLE out on my entertinment center,some of the food i dont care for but i cook it because Master enjoys it and it is what he eats,and even though i feel like an out sider at TEMPLE everyone there is so very nice and accepting of me and they RESPECT the fact i am CATHOLIC! :-))

Master is learning the CATHOLIC FAITH as well and He is picking up on what to say in Church and when to kneel,the only thing Master does not do is receive communion So Master and i celebrate 2 types of Holidays my own CHRISTIAN HOLIDAYS and JEWISH HOLIDAYS! :-)) I enjoy learning about the JEWISH FAITH and the people.Its new and different but WONDERFUL! :-))Going to temple and wearing the little cap is nice :-)) i forgot the actual name of it but it doesnt matter :-))

I have to buy Master 8 more gifts for HANNAKAH! and give Him 1 for each day and the MANORAH CANDLE Is BEAUTIFUL! So you could say i am blessed twice as Master is :-))

In my personal opinion when you expand and learn a new thing in your life no matter what it may be,you open your mind and heart to new experiences and ways of life and being different is what makes up this country DIVERSITY! but so many people in todays world forget about that and there is so much HATE because someone is DIFFERENT,There is no TOLERANCE OR ACCEPTANCE for ANYTHING or ANYONE anymore and to me that is sad.If we were all the same it would be a BORING WORLD! and one i do not think i would want to live in. Many people today ae CLOSED MINDED to many things and if you dont act a certain way or worship a certain way or talk a certain way then you are an OUT CAST! and if you do not AGREE! with others then you are WRONG!PITY!!

However there are a few people in this world like myself who are VERY open minded to other cultures,religions,lifestyles ETC! and i embrace the DIVERSITY! Because i can learn so much from people who are different and i can expand my knowledge and that is a WONDERFUL THING! and everyone here knows me by now that i really do not care much what anyone thinks of my lifestyle,or what i post in my journals and as long as i am not HURTING anyone or bothering anyone I will continue to post what i want when i want without fear of BACK LASH! and depending on the message if it is RUDE or NASTY! or SNIDE REMARKS are made that is the only time i will address it PUBLICALLY so all can see what type of NEGATIVE Messages i receive from other Members from time to time then i let it go and move on!

I am my own person and i do UTILIZE my FFREEDOM of CHOICE,RIGHTS AND RELIGION! as long as i am not FORCING my beliefs on others or offending them in any way by actually sending them messages or making RUDE,NASTY AND SNIDE REMARKS! You either like me or you dont,you either ACCEPT what i post in my PERSONAL Journal or you dont!but i am me and i am an INDIVIDUAL! and not like You! and vise versa we all are INDIVIDUALS,there is to much emphesis on what others may think or say about you so people tend to say what others want to hear to keep them happy but not me! I do not say things to make others happy for fear of BACK LASH! and i am not agreeing with everyone else and we should all be that way.We are HUMAN BEINGS and not ROBOTS we have BRAINS anc we think for ourselves we breathe we have emotions and feelings and our own values,morals,opinions and points of view and we should not be afraid to share them for fear we are saying the WRONG THINGS AND PEOPLE WONT like US! i say OH WELL!! If you dont like me then you dont like me but i am not going to say what you want so you will be my FRIEND! I say what i feel and think and i am not hurting anyone or bothering anyone,i stay within my PERSONAL REALM! and isnt that what a JOURNAL is for? to post your inner most thoughts,feelings and freely express yourself?

I hope all members here will re-evaluate themselves if they feel repressed in some way or afraid to speak their mind and just AGREE with everyone else to keep them happy and content,why would you do that in the first place? if people cannot and do not like you for who and what you are then they are not FRIENDS! and if you say things you really dont mean just to keep them happy then they are not your friend,if they were,they would be TOLERANT and ACCEPT You for YOU! and not JUDGE You! and if that is the case those type of friends you do not want or need i know i dont!

I accept people for who and what they are and the fact they are INDIVIDUALS with a BRAIN! FEELINGS,HEART AND EMOTIONS and have their own points of views and opinions and as long as they are not HURTING ME they have the GOD GIVEN RIGHT to express themselves FREELY without BACK LASH from others here and in REAL LIFE!

I am a no nonsense Woman,and i say things as i see it i have no time to PRETEND to be something i am not or to IMPRESS others or GAIN FRIENDS! The only person i need to IMPRESS is my OWNER/MASTER and i do a good job of that on a daily basis and He is all that matters.Everyone including myself have CHOICES and RIGHTS! I just hope everyne will UTILIZE Them without FEAR!

Many Blessings to You,Your Loved Ones and Friends!

Merry Christmas to All!!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

The first noel the angels did say was to certain poor shepards in fields as they lay!! :-))

I was asked if i could sum up MASTER in just 1 word what would it be?? Hmmmmmm!! that is very difficult because i cant sum Him up in just 1 word i have a few words.. :-))

1) THOUGHTFUL
2) CARING
3)LOVING
4) SEXY
5) CONSIDERATE
and i could go on but if i really had to sum up my OWNER in 1 word it would be INTEGRITY! YES! that would be the word INTEGRITY! because INTEGRITY! is what Master made of along with HONESTY! RESPECTFUL! and EXPERIENCED! :-))

But the 1 word that comes to my mind is INTEGRITY!

Now if you will excuse me i have to go and prepare dinner for Master He is calling to me saying SLAVE GET OFF THE COMPUTER I AM GETTING HUNGRY! so i really need to go,so i bid you all a Good night,Sleep well and have Sweet KINKY dreams! :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

  Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to All,

Master and i were talking about how nice Christmas will be for him this year since moving in with me :-)). He told me that when He owned his other slave in REAL LIFE for 20 years They NEVER celebrated the holidays together but when He met me 12 years ago and we started chatting all He could think about was spending time with me especially on the holidays and He prayed to God every night that one day we would be together,and i felt more then the same way.He told me today how much He loved me and how content he was now and how i complete His life and for once He is HAPPY!

To hear that from Him made my heart smile because i love him so very much and all i ever wanted was to physically be with him and i would have waited my whole life for him if necessary.He is my life and everythng good in my life. We both enjoy the same things He has a WICKED sense of humor and a special air about him. He is a good Man/Master and i will always LOVE Him and put Him on a PEDISTAL! I waited 12 long years for him and now i wait no longer :-)) and even if we still had not met face to face i would still wait and pray that one day we would be together.

I would NEVER have seeked another Master even if we NEVER could be PHYSIALLY together because i waited my whole life for HIM He is everything i have searched for in a MASTER and PARTNER and no other MASTER could take His place,and this is why GOD FORBID when He passes away i will return to my VANILLA LIFE Never to return to this one,but wear his collar for the rest of my life.He and i were meant to be together,GOD sent Him to me and i thank Him every night for my OWNER and of course my 2 cats/girls! :-))

When i was looking for a MASTER i said NO! to ALOT! because they never met my STANDARDS or had the QUALITIES i was seeking in a MASTER! and i was not going to settle for less then what i wanted,and when i met Master and we started chatting and became close i knew He was the one i wanted,and i willingly accepted the fact He owned another FEMALE SLAVE! but i wanted him anyway,and i NEVER Pressured him about her or asked about her.He willingly gave me her name Physical address,email address and phone number so there would not be any secrets,and i was content with that information,What they had was between them and what we had was between Him and i and we kept it that way,but now He moved to VERMONT to be with me and i love him more every day of my life.

I do not care about his past all i care about is what we have NOW! in the present and we move forward and i love the fact Master lives with me and my 2 girls,our long distance relationship is a success story and one i THANK GOD worked out the way i wanted it too :-)) so now all the holidays from this year forward will be HAPPY! for as long as i have my MASTER/OWNER,SOULMATE and PARTNER with me,i have no regrets and would do it all over again if the PRIZE was my MASTER!! :-))

Never again to be alone or lonely or long for the MASTER i dreamed about.i have Him and i am so very PROUD to be OWNED and COLLARED to HIM! :-))

          Enjoy the rest of your day!

            slave_brenda/Brenda!

I just received a message from a self proclaimed female dominant stating ITS A BIT EARLY TO BE GUSHING ABOUT CHRISTMAS LOL!! Well let me think about that it is the CHRISTMAS SEASON! so i do not think it is to early to wish EVERYONE a MERRY CHRISTMAS! and these are the kind of messages i receive from other members,and its funny because here i mind my own business and do not bother anyone or read any other journals and i still recieve messages from other members who make SNIDE REMARKS! about what i post.oh well,it is what it is and i will continue to post what i feel and think regardless of the SNIDE Messages i receive.However,everyone is entitled to their own opinions and views as i am so if they think what i post is not acceptable then they do,but since i do mind my own business and not bother anyone else or FORCE ANY Member to read my profile and journal entries i will just continue to post what i want knowing the fact i will still receive messages from other members who will make SNIDE REMARKS! oh well but i just read the messages and DELETE Them i do not feel it necessary to respond to them.

It does amaze me how they NEVER seem to UTILIZE their FREEDOM or CHOICE! and instead of just moving on they feel compelled to make SNIDE REMARKS about what i post! When i NEVER read other journals or message any member making SNIDE REMARKS about what they think or feel! but others feel compelled to to it to me!! HOW IRONIC! well at least what i post makes them respond no matter how NEGATIVE it may be! and i will continue to wish everyone a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS! despite the fact it may be TO EARLY! i enjoy the whole Christmas season and the ACTUAL HOLIDAY! is not for 3 weeks it is still the CHRISTMAS SEASON! so as far as i am concerned it is NOT to early!

All i will say now is i welcome all comments and SNIDE REMARKS! because i receive them anyway lolol but i do receive very nice comments as well so they balance out the SNIDE REMARKS! :-))

I do not mind because you really cant be ANGRY over things you cannot control and comments be it POSTITIVE OR NEGATIVE is 2 of those things,since this is a PUBLIC Place and people are FREE to read any and all profiles and journal entries,you just have to take the good with the bad laugh it off and move forward. :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

I wish You a Merry Christmas And A Happy New Year!!

I received something from a sweet female slave and would like to share it with those who would appreciate it,but note it is RELIGIOUS so if you do not like,or accept it after reading it all i can say is dont come back,and if it offends you then just dont read anything i post if it contains RELIGION! I do not want to be rude about it,but if i do not make this DISCLAIMER i will receive messages from other members stating they do not like it or think i should NOT be PUSHING RELIGION on them,when i am not doing any such thing,I am not FORCING any member to come to my page and read my profile or journal entries but if you happen to stop by,and do read what i post and you do not like,accept or appreciate it then just DO NOT come back,You have the free will to move on and i suggest you exercise your RIGHTS and CHOICES!

ENOUGH SAID!

Now on with this special inspirational Material i received,for those who do like it i hope it inspires you. :-)) Master LOVED IT when He read it and i copied it as well for my own pleasure and for Master as well :-)) so without further ado here it is for your reading pleasure,and if any member who does like this feel free to copy it and keep it for your pleasure.:-))

For every burden that we must bear.for every sorrow,every care there is a reason. For every grief that bows our head,for every tear-drop that we shed,there is a reason,for every hurt,for every plight,for every lonely pain racked night there is a reason,but if we trust GOD as we should,all must work for the good,He knows the reason!!

Many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends and a Very MERRY CHRISTMAS to all and the HAPIEST OF NEW YEAR! From Master and myself to You and Yours!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Merry Christmas Cheer to All,

I was asked if MASTER ever trained a MALE SLAVE! even though He is STRAIGHT!! hmmm! Let me think,I think Master has trained male slaves but NEVER Had owned them,I believe Master trained male slaves for other DOMINANTS! but He would NEVER actually own one NO! But He has trained them,so you can say Master has been a SLAVE TRAINER! in the past,I am not sure if he would do it again now since He has moved in with me but i cant say NO! for certain,Maybe if the right opportunity came along He may train another male slave for another DOMINANT! but so far NO!. He has enough RESPONSIBILITIES with me right now with Surgery coming up soon again since it was rescheduled for JAN 21ST! But maybe in the long term future.

Would i be bothered if Master trained a male slave or submissive or have any problems with that? NO! i would not have any problems with that,but it cannot be done in my home because of my 2 girls/cats.any BDSM Activities with others has to be done at another location because of my 2 girls/cats.they are afraid of STRANGERS! and i will not put that kind of STRESS on them.but if Master had another location to go then YES of course He could.It is none of my business.Master is EXCELLANT! He is very knowledgable,and has many years of EXPERIENCE and since He owned a female slave in REAL LIFE for 20 years prior to moving in with me He has the EXPERIENCE! and since Master has come to VERMONT to move in with me He has established himself in the lifestyle here and has gained a GOOD REPUTATION from other DOMINANTS and subs/slaves through MUNCHES! we have attneded.

If a Male or Female DOMINANT approached Him and asked him if He would be willing to TRAIN a Male or Female sub/slave He would do it and as far as PAYMENT is concerned i do not know if He would accpet it or not,That would be arranged by Himself and the other Dominant,it has nothing to do with me.

When i am able to SWITCH for Master nothing will be done in my home,The female submissive Master owns online will come to VERMONT once a month after i have recovered from surgery,and will stay at a hotel,Master and i will go to her Hotel for any and all BDSM ACTIVITIES She will not come to my home,If i did not have my 2 girls/cats then YES! BDSM activities with others could happen here but not when i have my cats.BDSM activities will be conducted at another location or not be conducted at all! and Master is okay with that rule as He loves my 2 girls as much as i do and will not put that STRESS of STRANGERS in the house!

As far as Male subs/slaves if the opportunity did arise Master would train Them in a NON-SEXUAL MANNER! His SPECIALITY is S/M as he is a SADIST! so if the sub/slave was not in any way a MASOCHIST! then i do not believe Master would train Him.PAIN! would have to be involved to some degree (but not with me) :-)) why? because i am not a MASOCHIST! and our relationship is more prosonal and on the romantic side then STRICTLY! a M/s relationship although it does have the M/s element just not so much the S/M side of it :-))

I hope you all have a great night,stay well and safe and sleep tight and have sweet kinky dreams :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Its Beginning To Look Like Christmas Everywhere You Go! :-)) At least you cant actually hear me sing lol its best if you can just read the words lol! You should hear how i talk to my 2 girls/cats lol you would think i am CRAZY! but i dont care and Master doesnt care.He knows how much i love them and adore them and SPOIL Them and like MASTER They LOVE attention and i shower them and Master with PLENTY! of it :-)) but unlike Master they dont have INFLATED EGOS!! lololol But that is what makes up part of Master his HEALTHY EGO!! :-))

I have been chatting with Masters Online FEMALE SUBMISSIVE who eventually i will be SWITCHING with and Master has allowed me to DOMINATE Her but only online for now by cam and personally I do not really enjoy telling her what to do to herself!! but it is just practice for me until after i recover from my surgery and she comes here and i can SWITCH with her NON-SEXUALLY! face to face!! and since my surgery has been rescheduled from December 3rd to Jan 21ST it will be a little longer depending how long it will take me to recover.I will not be doing any SWITCHING! until sometime next year,but Master allows me to practice with his online submissive until she can come here for a visit and i can SWITCH with her face to face with the guidance of MASTER! It will be fun,but for now i ENJOY! being a slave to MASTER!! more then SWITCHING!! :-))

Master wants me to SWITCH for his pleasure but it will only be when the time comes once a month His online submissive will come and visit us after i recover so it will not be all the time every day.Master INSISTS i do this for HIM! and i will not say NO to him.I will do it for his pleasure not my own!! it is not about ME and what i like or want it is all about HIM and what he wants and desires of me and if SWITCHING makes Him happy then i will do it for Him :-)) but He also realizes i enjoy OBEYING Him and SERVING Him as a slave more then SWITCHING! so that is why it will only be 1 weekend a month and she will stay at a hotel not at our home.

Master will pay her traveling expenses but she has to pay for her HOTEL! it is only fair! plus she has a good job and makes a good salery! She is 55 years old Divorced and living alone and has 2 grown children so she is FREE to travel whenever she Likes,so it will not be a problem with her coming to VERMONT 1 weekend a month! Master will SUPERVISE All ACTIVITIES and guide me in the right direction. :-)) but as i stated it will not be for months probably next summer sometime! :-))

At the moment i am concentrating on Christmas New Years and my SURGERY! I will think about SWITCHING Later and Master is NOT going to RUSH my recovery.i will take as long as necessary to heal and feel better how ever long it may be :-))

I am in the moment right now thinking about CHRISTMAS! and when i see all the BEAUTIFUL GIFTS! under our tree i smile, I see how much Master loves me and waiting 12 years to see him was well worth it to me,and even if it was still the same LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP! and i still at this point did not see him yet i would still LOVE him just as much,I am so IN Love with him.He is my SOULMATE and my PARTNER! and the love of my life FOREVER! He is all i want and need to make me happy along with my 2 PRECIOUS GIRLS! :-))

Now if you will excuse me,i am going to sit look at our beautiful tree with the gifts under it and look outside at my lights and my NATIVITY set and my SANTA! and enjoy the peace and tranquility before Master gets up and i start my day with him :-))

Master and i wish you all a VERY Merry Christmas and we hope you and your loved will receive an abundance of bessings that JESUS CHRIST shines down upon you!

Enjoy your Day! :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle All The Way!! :-)

I cannot believe all the gifts under the tree :-) I LOVE IT!! but i am not allowed to touch them per orders of Master :-(( lol i can only look at them and if i get caught touching them i will be SEVERELY PUNISHED! and thrown in my PUNISHMENT CAGE all day long blind folded,gagged and handcuffed to my cage!! I do not like my PUNISHMENT CAGE! in my storage shed!! so i will NOT touch my gifts under the tree,and i HATE being PUNISHED period no matter what type Master inflicts upon me,but PUNISHMENT is not suppose to be fun,nice or pleasant it is a TOOL to teach RIGHT from WRONG! and a learning EXPERIENCE! so i will not repeat the same mistake twice or infraction,and i know better.

Master makes it difficult sometimes to control myself in many aspects of this lifestyle and VANILLA Life as well,but i have come to learn the hard way to have SELF CONTROL! with many days of a RED SORE ASS!! so I OBEY! Master and He only has to speak ONCE! not twice! and i OBEY and listen!.as a good OBEDIENT SLAVE should! :-))

Next week i will go back out and buy Master a few more gifts too :-)) I wonder what He bought me? Hmmmmmmmm!!! but i have to wait until Christmas Night to find out!! :-))

Master and i will be headng over to LASALETTE SHRINE on Saturday December 20th because i was sick over THANKSGIVING and we could not go besides my surgery being rescheduled so was our trip to LASALETTE SHRINE! Master is looking forward to it because He does not know where it is but i do,I go every year to see the over 20.000 CHRISTMAS LIGHTS and many DISPLAYS and go to church but this is the first year Master has been to VERMONT! and He does not know where ENFIELD NEW HAMPSHIRE Is but i do and Master has a GPS in the car so it will be easy but i do not need a GPS to find ENFIELD NEW HAMPSHIRE! but before we go to LASALETTE SHRINE we will go to West Leb New Hampshire to the WEATHER VAIN for dinner it is a WONDERFUL seafood resturant but i will only eat SHRIMP,SCALLOPS AND CLAMS! no other seafood or fish lol so Master is looking forward to going with ME! :-)) and it will be so nice to have Him come with me this year,and i will not have to go alone :-))

I have the most important person in my life with me this year so it will be a BLESSING for me :-)) Everything we do i enjoy more since Master moved in with me :-)) and my 2 cats/girls LOVE Him and used to Him here now :-)) it took a couple of months for them to get used to Him but they did although i talk to them and pay more attention to them then Master does.He LOVES them as much as i do and spoils them as i do :-)) i have my little family now and it is all i could ever want in my life. Master and my 2 girls/cats :-)) I do not want any more i have all i want and need :-))

Anywho... You all ahve a GREAT DAY! and i hope your CHRISTMAS SHOPPING is done or almost done! and you have what you wanted to buy for others ;-)). Many blesings to you,your loved ones and friends ALWAYS!! :-)

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Seasons Greetings To All

Master came back from shopping with an arm load of christmas Gifts for Me!! I am as EXCITED as a little girl,He even had them all wrapped,Actually He went over to Sir_Marks House and had slave_angie wrap my gifts for me :-)) They look BEAUTIFUL! She does a GREAT Job wrapping gifts!

When i saw all my gifts i said can i open my gifts Master PLEASE,PLEASE PLEASE!! hahahahahaha!!!! He said No My Sweet slave not until CHRISTMAS NIGHT!! i begged some more i said PLEASE,PLEASE PLEASE,PLEASE!! MASTER!! then we both laughed lolol He loves it when i act like a little girl some tmes and beg him like i did lolol Makes Him feel more DOMINANT!! (so He tells me) :-)) and i believe it!! I could not believe how many gifts he bought me!! WOW!!! I have not seen so many gifts since my Mom and Dad Passed away and since i am an ONLY Child you can imagine how many gifts i received on Christmas :-)) Like a TYPICAL ONLY CHILD! with no siblings i was SPOILED rotten!! lol

I told Master he should not have bought me so many gifts and he said BE SILENT SLAVE!! I WANTED TO BUY YOU GIFTS BECAUSE YOU DESERVE THEM AND HAVE BEEN THROUGH ALOT THIS YEAR!! I just asked him if i cold hug and kiss him and he said YES YOU MAY SHOWER ME WITH LOVE AND APPRECIATION! so i grabbed Master hugged him tight and cried because He is so good to me and i am so fortunate to have an Owner like mine who really LOVES and cares about me and he also bought the Girls toys stuffed with CAT NIP!! :-)) so we are all SPOILED this year! :-))

I bought Master alot of gifts as well but not as many as he bought me so i have to fix that QUICK! I want Master to have alot of gifts too!! Now our tree is FULL of gifts!! i cannot wait until CHRISTMAS NIGHT!! Master and i will open gifts our CHRISTMAS NIGHT! not in the MORNING! and by doing so we extend the holiday!! and our girls wont mind they are cats and dont care when we open gifts! lol. I feel like singing lol but i better not Master will just GAG! Me to shut me up because i sing so badly!! LMFAO!!! lololol and its true but i like to be GAGGED! by Master :-))

Anywhooo.. You all ahve a GREAT Night stay warm and safe and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends!! :-))

slave_brenda!

Good Evening to all,
Finally The cologne i ordered for Master arrived and i could not resist opening the bottle and taking a DEEP BREATHE! Ahhhhhhhh!! How sweet it is!! Master always smells good enough to eat lol MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! He is the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE TO ME!! and i am so attracted to Him it is difficult to restrain myself when i am near him :-)) HEY! i may be a slave but i am also a WOMAN! and even though i am 50 i still get SEXUALLY AROUSED! by my Owner :-)) Only he can get my juices flowing He knows just what to say and do and I LOVE IT!!

There are certain things that SEXUALLY EXCITE me about Master and without getting into the sorid details i will gladly share with you,but i think i did that in a previous post some time ao but i will repet myself.

1) Master VERBALLY HUMILIATING AND DERADING ME! calling me a FILTHY WHORE AND A DIRTY SLUT AND A FUCKING BITCH!! All i can say is Ohhhhhhhhh and Ahhhhhhhhhhh!! :-))

2) Master wearing BLACK clothing from head to toe showing his DOMINANCE and CONTROL over me

3) Smelling soooooooooo!!!! Yummmmmmy!!!

4) Slowly walking around me while i am gagged,blindfolded and handcuffed as i am kneeling before him MANIPULATING Me and telling me how WORTHLESS i am!! GOD!!!!! ITS GREAT!!!!!!!! (Remember all activities conducted are SAFE,SANE AND CONSENSUAL) and we both enjoy it!!!!!!

5) Teasing me by telling me NOT TO TOUCH HIM SEXUALLY! as i am bathing him,drying him and dressing him MMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! He is SO DAMN GOOD!!!!!!!!! He knows all the right buttons to push,and all i can say is I LOVE YOU MASTER!! and i am honored to belong to YOU!! (when i am allowed to speak) I NEVER speak unless spoken too I know my Place :-))

I think that is all the information i am willing to devulge you can imagine the rest :-))

However,let me say that the reason i am so ATTRACTED To my Owner/Master is because He is so good to me and takes very good care of me and worries about me and my wellbeing and my 2 cats/girls and loves them as much as i do :-)) His heart is PURE His DOMINANCE! at times RAW and ANIMALISITC! but sometimes i need that RAW DOMINANCE! from Him and sometimes i need him to be GENTLE! and SENSUAL! it is all about the MOOD! of the day with both of us.I know when Master needs to be more INTENSE and He knows when i need him to be Soft,gentle and Sensual! and all it takes is one look without saying 1 word! just a simple look and we can read what the other needs and wants and when you have such a DEEP Connection with your Owner you know deep down in your soul that He or she is the RIGHT One for You :-))

God,I LOVE HIM with every fiber of my being,every breath that i take and every beat of my heart.He is my ONE AND ONLY OWNER on this EARTH! Because Gid sent Him to me.and i know He is the ONE! i would die for :-))

You all have a GREAT Night,and did you notice i have changed my Profile picture to a CHRISTMAS THEMED One? :-)) and i will change it from time to time before Christmas,it is BORING to keep the same picture up endlessly! without changing it :-)) i may be alot of things but BORING and SELFISH are not it :-))

Take care of yourselves and each other and i wish you many blessings for a Merry Christmas and a SAFE and HAPPY 2015! :-))

slave_brenda!

I received a message asking what religion i am and am i afraid of BACK LASH from others because i believe in JESUS CHRIST while i am active in BDSM!!

The answer to the first question is ROMAN CATHOLIC! and YES i am PROUD of being CATHOLIC I just do not agree with what the CATHOLIC church does and how they handle SEXUAL ABUSE ALLIGATIONS! but as far as the religion itself i am PROUD of being a CATHOLIC and have been for 50 years and will continue to be a ROMAN CATHOLIC until the day JESUS calls me home!!

The answer to the 2nd question is NO!!! I am not AFRAID of BACK LASH from anyone here or in my real life!! If anyone does not approve of my RELIGION and cannot understand how i can be RELIGIOUS while living this lifestyle while BDSM has nothing to do with RELIGION Or JSEUS CHRIST! and others who are in this lifestyle DO NOT BELIEVE IN GOD! and i should choose between my RELIGION and This lifestyle but I cannot have both.I say OH YES I CAN AND DO! every day of my life.

I will say this again as i did in my PROFILE! if any member has a problem with me belieivng in JESUS CHRIST and religion and i should not enter the BDSM LIFESTYLE I say then move on to other members who share your NON-BELIEF! and share your point of views because i am not FORCING any member here to agree or even like the fact i am RELIGIOUS! You have your beliefs and i have mine.You mind your business i mind mine! I dont bother you,you dont bother me on this issue! its that simple!!

You either accept me for who i am and what i believe or dont message me PERIOD! I RESPECT the fact other members do NOT Believe in JESUS CHRIST and you have the choice and right NOT to believe in GOD,but however i have the same CHOICE and right TO Blieve in JESUS CHRIST! and as long as i am not PREACHING to other members or FORCING my religion on them or tell them they are WRONG not to beleive in JESUS CHRIST! then i will continue to express my right to FREEDOM OF RELIGION! and i have said this to others in my REAL LIFE as well,Lets just say I DO PRACTICE WHAT I SAY!! Not PREACH!

You and i have RIGHTS and CHOICES in our lives and we should all EXERCISE those choices and rights.I am kind to others and RESPECT Others and their lifestyles and i expect that same RESPECT in return and if any member cannot or will not extend me that same common curtesy then just move on to oter members who share your views and your non-beliefs! There are many members here who share NON-BELIEFS .so just exercise your choices and rights and pass me by quietly!

I NEVER just send other members who i have NEVER chatted with or know messages at random and criticize them for what they believe,their point of view or how they live their lives.You live how ever makes you happy and it doesnt matter what others think about how you live your life or if they do not agree with what you believe.you live your life as you see fit and live it to make you and your partner happy not the whole world!

That Ladies and Gentlemen is my PERSONAL OPINIONS on RELIGION and BDSM! and before you send a message to me or other members who you may not agree with or like how we live our lives just remember IF YOU LIVE IN A GLASS HOUSE YOU SHOULD NOT THROW STONES BECAUSE YOU CAN ALSO BE THE ONE GETTING HURT! Show some TOLERANCE,RESPECT and KINDNESS toward others and you may not like or agree with what other members say,think,post or how they live their lives but you have to ACCEPT IT! and if you do not or cannot ACCEPT IT then simply move on quietly! without typeing one NASTY word,EXERCISE Your FREEDOM of CHOICE! as we all do!

Enjoy your night All!

slave_brenda!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS/MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I was asked if Master wants me to work outside the home and the answer is NO!! Master supports me He receives a very good pension from his Previous Job as a IT MANAGER!! and we live very comfortably on his pension.When i lived alone i worked but only part time and it was a STRUGGLE for me however Master sent me money every month for 12 years when we were apart to help with my expenses,and He wss VERY Generous with his money.He helped me more then He knew himself,and He NEVER hesitated if i was in dire need of something especialy for my 2 girls/cats.some weekes was difficult to buy them food on my own but Master made sure i had PLENTY of money so my 2 girls and myself would not go without,and i really appreciated him for his generosity and loved Him more for it.

Master PROVED to me He was a GENUINE Master and one who NEVER DEMANDED MONEY from me to SUPPORT Him! what an INSULT to him if i did that when i did not have enough money for myself! so every week Master would send me money to help me.He would send me 100.00 a week and at that time He was still employed as a IT MANAGER! and He worked for his company many years and earned a good salery to send me 100.00 a week! i did not ask for it He just sent it and it helped me out emmensely!!

I never had to REPAY Him back because i could not do that i did not make enough and Master NEVER asked for money from Me,and He always remembered my Birthday which is March 18TH and Also All the major holidays such as Thanksgiving ,Christmas,Easter ETC! He always sent me gifts and gift cards.He is a Kind good MAN/MASTER! He has a HUGE HEART! and expressed his LOVE for me on a daily basis,and when it came time to get SERIOUS! He PROVED Just how DOMINANT He was and just how much control he has over me.He will always and forever be my ONE AND ONLY MASTER! This is why i am leaving this lifestyle when MASTER Passes away GOD FORBID!! I am not interested in seeking ANOTHER Master because no other MASTER can meet my EXPECTATIONS or STANDARDS!!

I am a slave to 2 MASTERS but serve in a whole different concept and they are not the same!!
1) JESUS CHRIST! (Who is MASTER over all of us) and NO! I do not consider my MASTER on earth as a GOD!! I worship 1 GOD and 1 only with other other FALSE GODS ABOVE HIM!!

2) MY EARTHLY MASTER! who is considered my keeper,and protector that GOD ALMIGHTY sent to me to help Him take care of ME! Here on earth!

I have high standards when looking for a MASTER and no other MALE DOMINANT! could ever MEET Those high standards! so i will be returning to my VANILLA Life never to return to BDSM Again but i will wear MASTERS Collar for the rest of my life! He owns me in DEATH as he does in LIFE! Just as JESUS CHRIST!! The same but different! :-))

I am in slave bliss with the MASTER i have now and the attraction between Him and i is INTENSE to say the least,I RESPECT Him ADMIRE Him CHERISH Him and ADORE Him and serve ONLY Him!! all other MASTERS I NEVER Think about because i do not want. You could say that our M/s relationship is a success story from a 12 year LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP! going from NEVER seeing one another PHYSICALLY! in 12 years except for on CAM! to living with one another! and enjoying the BEST Of both worlds VANILLA AND KINK! equally balanced equally satisfying! to Master and myself! :-))IT WORKS FOR US!!

Well Ladies and Gentlemen,You all have a FANTASTIC DAY and i cannot wait to buy another phone cord so my computer will connect properly and i can get back to the SHOPPING SITES lolol YES! I LOVE TO ONLINE SHOP! who doesnt?? :-)) but with my NEANDERTHAL! DIAL UP! and a FRAYED AND DUCTED TAPED PHONE CORD!! i cannot connect to my SHOPPING SITES!! lol so friday i am buying a new phone cord!! ITS CHRISTMAS FOR GODS SAKE!!! lolol even though i have all of Masters gifts there is always 1 more i can purchase lol however i can actually go out to a SOTRE and buy something! and i have but i LOVE the online web DEALS! lol it is called A LAZY WAY TO SHOP! lol and millions of others feel the smae way i and do the same thing.

Anywho... I must go now and as soon as i can conect to sites properly i will change my PROFILE Picture to a more CHRISTMAS THEMED but for now the THANKSGIVING Picture has to stay but not for much longer! :-))

Many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends this Bless_ed CHRISTMAS SEASON! and always!! :-))

slave_brenda! :-))

                Good Day to all,

I apologize for not posting the last few days but i am getting over being sick,and my computer is acting up since i have NEANDERTHAL DIAL UP! lolol and i am connected to my land line phone,the phone cord is frayed and even though i ducked taped it i need to buy a new cord because the conection is not very good,but i will get one. :-))

I had to rewschedule my surgery as i thought i would now i will have my back surgery JAN 21ST 2015! which is much bettewr,now i can enjoy the holidays and then go under the knife.So Master spoke with Sir_Mark and told him we will not need his DOMESTIC SLAVE! until after the holidays to come and live with us,and he seemed happy about that fact as well :-)) slave_angie will move in Jan 19th and stay as long asd necessary until i am recovered but at least the holidays will be over.Master and i can relax and not worry about my recovery over Christmas and New years :-))

I do not know what i had but i was sick and Master is not feeling well because i gave it to Him however He went to see his Doctor and He gave Master a Z-PACK! to fight the infection and he is not as sick a si was THANK GOD! so i guess it all worked out for the best! :-))

As soon as my computer is working properly and i get a new phone cord i will change my PROFILE PICTURE and put up one pertaining to CHRISTMAS!! :-)) I will get one on friday then i will change my picture.. :-))

I hope everyone had a Wonderful THANKSGIVING! and now preparing for CHRISTMAS! I bought Master a couple more gifts and i am still waiting for his EXPENSIVE SWEET SMELLING COLOGNE to artrive and it should have been shipped yesterday,I also bought some CHRISTMAS CANDY! and have the candy in the freezer and i went to PETCO and bought my girls/cats their toys and i will buy a few more at the dollar store for them :-)) but i had to hide them or they would want them before CHRISTMAS lol just like HUMAN LITTLE CHILDREN! if you did not hide their gifts :-))

Anywho... I hope you all have a GREAT! day and Master and i wish you a VERY MERRY BLESS_ED CHRISTMAS! I know its early but it is the CHRISTMAS SEASON! :-))

                 Enjoy Your Day!

                 slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good Day To All,

Well, i think i have to reschedule my surgery come monday,i just havent felt good all weekend and i am not about to ride an hour and a 1/2 over to New Hampshire when i do not feel well,I discussed this with Master and He agrees with me that i should just reschedule it.It is not like i planned to be sick at this time it just happened.BAD TIMING!! and if the nurse gives me an attitude about rescheduling i will hand the phone over to master and let Him deal with her,i am not in the mood for ATTITUDE! because i may say something i will regret later,infact i know i will and people reschedule surgeries and other apponitments all the time and i REFUSE to go under the knife when i am sick,so hoepfully my surgery will be AFTER the holidays! and to me i would much raher have it that way,but i will accept whatever date they give me as long as they give me a new surgery date.

I cant seem to shake whatever i picked up and i dont know how i even became sick because i was really careful when i went outside,but if someone is sick in a store then others will get sick soo and i just happened to be one of those people.oh well it is what it is i will get a new surgery date and go with it :-))

I hope you all are enjoying your THANKSGIVIING HOLIDAY WEEKEND! and staying well yourselves. Today Master and i were going over to Lasalette shrine and dinner but i am not sure now depending on how i feel,i may just stay home where it is warm and have Master order CHINESE TAKE OUT!! and maybe tonight go for a ride around town and even out of town for CHRISTMAS LIGHT OBSERVING! I LOVE to do that,then Master and i will go to Lasalette shrine sometime in December depending on when my New surgery date will be,but today i just dont feel like it much to ride a long way!

I hope you all have a FABULOUS DAY! and if you are going CHRISTMAS SHOPPING! I hope you find what you are looking for. :-)) Many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends this Bless_ed holiday season! and you enjoy all that GOD has given to you and gives thanks! not just this time of year but 365 every year! :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

          HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!!

Master and i hope your THANKSGIVING was a good as ours. OH MY GOD!! Sir_Mark had so much food yesterday and it was all delicious!! and his slave angie appreciated all of my help with preparing and serving dinner and Sir_Mark told Master that i was a very pleasant and efficient DOMESTIC SLAVE! :-)) and maybe some day Master can lend me out to Him when he has dinner parties because i was attentive and polite to all his guests :-))

However,,i may have some bad news,depending on how i feel i may have to reschedule my surgery,i am not feeling well and even though my Doctor gave me a Z-PACK! which is a antibiotoc i am still not feeling as i should and i was careful yesterday not go cough or sneeze in anyones face i always washed my hands and covered my mouth.i will have to wait and see how i feel on Monday if i dont feel any beter then i have no choice but to reschedule it and Master agreed becase i am not going into surgery when i am not feeling well to begin with i would rather reschedule it when i feel 100 percent.JUST MY LUCK! lol i waited a whole year for something to get done and when i am 5 days away from my surgery date i get sick!! GO FIGURE!!

Well,i did not plan to be sick it just happened and i dont know where i contacted this cold,i am VERY careful when i go out i always wear a hat but when you are around the public and others are sick of course the virus is AIR BOURNE! and of course i would be the one to catch something lol at the WRONG time! but i think of it this way if i do reschedule my surgery on Monday then i can celebrate Christmas and New years and not worry about recovering and i would much rather have surgery AFTER the holidays not before but i was mentally and emotionally ready for it on December 3rd but my body is telling me Umm NO! YOU ARE NOT READY UNTIL I SAY YOU ARE READY lolol and i OBEY what my body tells me like i obey MASTER! so if i dont feel well come monday then Surgery will be at a later date but i just have to wait and see how i feel over the weekend.

Anywho... i normally do NOT go out on BLACK FRIDAY but i need to go to the dollar store this morning i am getting low on personal items so i have to BRAVE the TRAFFIC and VULTURES! all shoping today!! but i will not be out long i will get what i need and come home!! and stay home. lol I will go to petco on monday when i pay the bills and buy Master a few more gifts then when EVERYONE is back to work lol but i am staying away from all RETAIL stores except the dollsr store then coming STRAIGHT Home and i dont feel like stayong out to long anyway! i need to get over what ever i have and QUICK!

Now if you all will excuse me i have to get ready to leave,and again Master and i want to extend our warmest Thanksgiving and Holiday greetings to all,STAY well and SAFE! and for the ones BRAVE enough to actually go out shopping today GOOD LUCK WITH THAT! i hope you can buy what you are looking for! but just remember to show some PATIENCE and kindness especically to the CASHIER! it is not necessary to be NASTY they dont make the rules or sales they just Make sure you get checked out in a timely manner!

I have been a cashier so i have EMPATHY! and until you are on that side of the counter YOU HAVE NO IDEA! and just put yourself in their place,how would you like them to get into your check out line get into your face and scream at you,or better yet how would you like it if they came t your job got into your face and started yelling at you over something you have no control over!! so THINK before you SPEAK! and by the way i know for a FACT since i have been on the other side of that counter THE CUSTOMER IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!!! I will leave it at that.

                Enjoy your day all!!

                 slave_brenda/Brenda!

            HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL!

Master and i want to extend our warmest wishes for a happy bless_ed Thanksgiving holiday to all,and pray God blesses you all with a abundance of happiness,joy and peace.We hope you have a WONDERFUL! day with your Loved ones and friends and take a few moments to give Thanks for all of our blessings today and not feel JEALOUS or ENVIOUS of others just because they may have more then you,it is not what you WANT! it is about what you HAVE! and be thankful,and this holiday is all about FAMILY! FRIENDS and a BOUNTIFUL FEAST! to gather together EAT,DRINK and BE MERRY! and of course FOOT BALL!! :-))

and for the members here who may be alone and lonely today,know you are NEVER really alone because JESUS CHRIST! is with you and will NEVER FORSAKE! You,and everyone is always welcomed to stop by my page and say hello,

Also lets say a special prayer for our TROOPS who are serving over seas and are away from their families and friends today,and lets remeber our fallen HEROES! who made the ultimate sacrifice for all of us so we can celebrate today and every day in FREEDOM! and keep their familes in your prayers as welll.

So in closing i am going to say a little prayer for all and if it offends you then I am sorry but for others who may enjoy reading it this is for you!

Dear Lord,

Thank you for all your blessings you have given to all of us,Wrap your loving arms around all your children today and show them how much you love them,and for the sick and lonely.Be with them today so they may feel your UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and mercy you show to all of us,and Lord Please bless our TROOPS and their familes today and keep our Men and Women safe from harm and give their familes the peace of mind,heart and soul today knowing you are watching over their SOLDIER!

and for my own intentions,Lord,Please watch over me and wrap your dafe loving arms around me and take away all of my fear and doubts about my up and coming surgery,Thank you Jesus for all you have given me and all you do to show you love me,and most of all THANK YOU Jesus for sending Master to me to Love and serve on a whole different level then i serve YOU! Thank you for my 2 cats/Girls who Master and I just LOVE so much.I know my surgery will be a success because you will be with me every step of the way.and since you suffered 10 fold for our sins,i suffer with my affliction for YOU! and i REBUKE SATAN! the EVIL ONE! from my life,for you are my only SAVIOR and GOD! there is no GOD above You and you are the MASTER of all of us.In Jesus Name,
                    AMEN!

Form Master,my girls and myself Enjoy your THANKSGIVING! I hope it is everything you hoped it would be and enjoy your Loved ones and family that are around you today! GD BLESS EVERYONE! :-))

              slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good Day to All,

Just my luck i am cming down with a cold AGAIN! and my surgery is next WEDNESDAY!! however i had my pre-op interview with the nurse yesterday afternoon and she told me to call Dr.Phillips office and ask them what they wanted to do,and since i see my Doctor this morning i was told by Dr.Philips Nurse to have my Doctor listen to my lungs and if they are okay then i can have surgery,and i know my lungs are clear it is just a head cold but when i get colds i cant breathe and need to use nasal spray until the cold passes.and i know Dr.Phillips will not do surgery if i cant breathe.I will see what my Doctor has to say this morning,and then i will just wait until Monday the LATEST and if my cold is worse then i will have no choice but to reschedule it and after waitiing all year WHAT A BITCH! Oh well nothing i can do about it i dont pick and choose my times to be sick but of al times when i am so close to surgery! GRRRRRRRRRR!!!! lol it is what it is and if i have to reschedule my surgery then so be it.

I will give myself the Thanksgiving holiday wekend and see how i feel monday and if i cant breathe without nasal spray at that point then i will call Dr.Phillips office and tell them.

but if i can still have my Surgery i need to be at Alice Peck Day Hospital in New Hampshire at 1pm on December 3rd go to resistration then the lobby and a nurse will come and get me and prep me for surgery and i can take all my meds on the 3rd except for my LOTREL which is my high blood pressure med and of course no eating or drinking after midnight that is just obvious! and common sense! so i will eait and see what happens and see how i feel come monday.

Now if you will excuse Me i have a busy morning ahead of me i have to run a few errands before i go to my Doctors appointment for 930 then i have to head over to Sir_Marks house and help angie prepare food for Thanksgiving tomorrow and Master excused me of all DOMESTIC DUTIES today because i will not be home.i hope your day is GREAT and you are ready for THANKSGIVING TOMORROW! i know i am :-))

Many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends!!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Since Master stepped out for a little while and i am on a small break from my daily domestic duties,and before i make lunch for Master i decided to post some of my thoughts.

My house is quiet,no music no TV NOTHING! and when it is quiet i can do some soul searching and deep thinking of my life up to this point,and i was asking myself this question,If i had to look for a MASTER again would i? and would i wait 12 years without ever having meeting Him? and my response to that question is IT DEPENDS!

Would i do it all over again if i could meet Master? and wait 12 years or maybe longer if ever without ever seeing him face to face? YES I WOULD! because i LOVE Him and have for 13 years counting the 12 that were long distance and only seeing his HANDSOME Face on CAM! :-))

Would i do the same for another MASTER his age,His BDSM Experience and his KNOWLEDGE of this lifestyle? PROBABLY NOT! Because when i was looking for an OWNER i was VERY Fussy with the MASTER i wanted! He had to have certain qualities in order for me to be slightly interested and i would not have settled for less then what i wanted in a Master/Owner.

The list of qualities that MY Owner had to poccess are as follows.

1) His AGE No younger then 60!

2)He had to have REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE and owned or was owning a SLAVE! if He had NO REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE then I would never have even considered Him! because i wanted more then a VIRTUAL FANTASY! and some inexperienced MASTER who had NO CLUE how to DOMINATE,CONTROL or TRAIN!

3) He had to LOVE and accept my 2 cats/girls if we were ever going to be together and if not I would walk away

4) He had to believe in JESUS CHRIST!! just as i do if not I would walk away!!

5) He had to be down to earth with a HEALTHY EGO Not an inflated ONE!

6)He had to be as serious about OWNERSHIP as i was and extend his CONTROL! Over me at all times and if he could not do that or he hesitated about the decisions he made then i would walk away!!

All of the 6 above qualities MY Owner needed to possess before i would be the slightest interested and He also needed to provide me with references to prove he had REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE and if he could not do that then i would walk away!

Master PROVED he was worthy of my OBEDIENCE and had all of the above qualities that i was seeking in a MASTER/OWNER! and he was happy with the fact that i knew EXACTLY! what i wanted from a MASTER/OWNER! and would not settle for less,it proved to Him that i was and always will be SERIOUS! about this lifestyle and that i take no aspect of this lifestyle lightly,and i believe in the COMMITTMENT! Of our M/s reationship and it isnt some passing SEXUAL FANTASY! and i conduct myself as OBEDIENT Just when i feel like it or in the mood.I am OBEDIENT 7 days a week 24 hours a day 365 days a year.not just when i feel like it!!

However... Master and i have a very romantic VANILLA! side to our relationship as well and we balance our M/s relationship with our ROMANTIC VANILLA RELATIONSHIP! it is very unhealthy to be in just a BDSM Mind set all the time,and it is healthy for our relationship to step out of our roles (so to speak) and enjoy our ROMANTIC VANILLA side as well.but together they make us complete and whole! and i would not have it any other way and neither would MASTER! :-))

Now i must continue with my daily chores and prepare lunch for Master,He will be arriviing back soon and hungry i am sure :-)) and a well fed MASTER is a HAPPY MASTER! :-))

I hope your day is going splendid! and i wish you all happiness,love and tranquility in your lives today and ALWAYS! and you have only 1 shopping day left before THANKSGIVING so i hope you did not forget anything on your list for your feast :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good ay To All,

I thought of a couple more gifts i want to buy for Master so i will go out this weekend and do some more shopping since i do not many more days left until my surgery. I also have my pre-op Phone interview with the nurse this afternon at 3pm,She will go over my meds with me and any tests that i had done ETC and then the hosptial will call me on December 1st to let me know what time i need to be at the hospital,unless the nurse can tell me today :-))

Time is quickly approaching and i am becoming VERY NREVOUS and SCARED! but i thank GOD I have Master to talk with,He calms my fesrs and re assures me that i will be okay and this surgery will help me,and i realize there are no guarantees it will either work or it wont but at least i can get some releif and start to decrease the Morphine pills over time to eventually be off it completely! at least that is my long term goal,so even if this surgery helpes me 25 or even 50 percent i will take it,i would like it to be 100 percent but that is not realistic,but whatever relief i can get from this i will take and be happy with it :-))

However, if it doesn work at all and i am still the same as i am right now then we have to do something different but that is far in the future and i am not thinking about what if this surgery DOES NOT! work,i am praying to GOD it does and i will be able to get my life back and resume it as it was before all this started :-)) and to walk without any assistance out side with my crutches and walker will be a HUGE! Accomplishment or reply on Master for support outside although i LOVE Holding on to Him when i do not use my crutches or walker :-)) infact i enjoy allowing Him to care for me and help me and i get to smell him alot more often when i am holding on to him :-) MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! HOW SWEET IT IS INDEED!! :-))

Tomorrow i will head over to slave_angies and Sir_Marks house and help angie prepare the food for the Thanksgiving FEAST and bring over my cup cake and cookie tray i am buying as well and just leave them there since master and i will be going over to Sir_Marks for Dinner,I will however be heading back over to His house earlier then master because i am helping angie get everything ready for Sir_Marks Family to arrive and i will also be assisting angie with serving the dinner and cleaning up,and she will be moving in with us as of December 1st to start taking over my DOMESTIC DUTIES! while i recover from surgery and then when i am recovered enough to resume my DOMESTIC DUTIES Mster will dismiss her and she will go back to Sir_Mark her MASTER and OWNER! :-))

Well if you will excuse me Ladies and Gentlemen time for me to sit relax and enjoy some ME Time i always have early in the morning. I enjoy watching my lighted Christmas tree and my porch outside with my displays. To sit and watch them gives me such inner peace and calm and knowing i have my litle family all cozy,and comfy here with me is the BEST feeling of all and the fact they are all HAPPY! and CONTENTED! It doesnt get any better then that! :-))

Enjoy your day and many blessings to You,your family and friends ALWAYS!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

It still amazes me the messages i receive the STUPIDITY and IGNORANCE!! and how many times have i discussed these messages sent to me and it still happens lol UNBELIEVEABLE at this point they are just LAUGHABLE!! it is simply not necessary to become ANGRY because i still recieve them lol however there is one thing i can do to EXPOSE These IDIOTS! By posting pubically so all other members can read it. The one i just recieved was from another NON MEMBER! who made a FAKE PROFILE then quickly DELETED IT!! Of course he would!!! He is a COWARD! and cannot face anyone here,and this is a HUGE Issue here NON MEMBERS WHO ARE FAKE THAT DO NOT EVEN BELONG HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!! they make FAKE PROFILES message at random then DELETE their profile and i know for a fact without a doubt they know exactly what they are doing they are not as STUPID as i think they are.

They come here and send STUPID MESSAGES knowing they are in the first place then DISAPPEAR! Makes you wonder about them i mean REALLY!! But anyway, here is what this IDIOT Sent me for a message and He thought it was funny and fun to send a message like this knowing he cannot be traced,it must be HE HAS NO REAL LIFE OR JOB! and does this for a LIVING! coming here and other sites making FAKE PROFILES then DELETELING Them and disappearing without a trace to continue elsewhere.

Well anyway, THIS MORON! sent me a message stating he was married and saw my profile and said His wife was a MISTRESS and wanted him to find a FEMALE SLAVE with issues be it physical,mental or emotional and ask her if she would like to be taken care by her and be her SLAVE!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!! REALLY???????!! to EXPLOIT people with issues and make a JOKE out of them for others? and i am sure this IDIOT is not married nor is his FAKE WIFE a MISTRESS! when i read that i was more then PISSED OFF!! If this ASSHOLE!! only knew what i have been through this year and the back pain i have suffered and the problems i have had walking and the morphine pills i am taking he would not do this as an act of CRUELITY! If he was in front of me I would KICK HIM IN THE BALLS SO HARD HE WOULD NOT WALK OR FUCK FOR 2 MONTHS! I would show him what SADISTIC MEANS!! Master was LIVID!! when he read it,but of course the profile was DELETED and he was gone forever!!

I REALLY HATE IDIOTS LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!! You talk about SWITCHING!! I would really have fun with him if i could SWITCH! and i guarantee He would get no pleasure from what i administer to Him.HIS WHOLE BODY WOULD BE BLEEDING AND BLACK AND BLUE WHEN I WAS FINISHED WITH HIM!!!!! To try and EXPLOIT people with physical,mental and emotional issues is a SIN!!!!!!!! even to suggest something like that is a SIN!!!!! I am totally DISGUSTED!! but this MORON! knew EXACTLY what he was doing because he knew he could NEVER be traced!! FUCKING MORON AND ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!! Master was ready to EXPLODE when He read the message I am still PISSED! at what i read HOW DARE HE!!!!!!!!!

Well,Ladies and Gentlemen as you can tell there are many NON-MEMBERS here who make FAKE PROFILE! just to send random messages to people who are members here then be a COWARD! and DELETE Their profile and disappear so nobody can track them so they are not STUPID! they are just CRUEL MEAN NASTY AND IGNORANT!

Enough Said!!

Excuse me for being so NASTY but this message was unacceptable to me and CRUEL! to EXPLOIT what i have been through this year by SPREADING BULLSHIT! then DISAPPEARING! is UNACCEPTABLE! to me and it should be to anyone and everyone!

I pray the REAL MEMBERS here are having a good day and the rest of your day goes just as good for you!.As for me i will get over it i always do,but it seems i am receiving more and more of these type of messages from NON-MEMBERS who make FAKE PROFILES! and i am really not sure why?? again this must be their FULL TIME JOB! lolol FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!! they do not know how to get a REAL LIFE! or PARTNER! for that matter!! their computer is their REAL LIFE! lolol and the only Partner they can find is a VIRTUAL ONE! LMFAOOOO!!!!!!!!! who would want them?? NOT I!!!! lolol

Anywho.... Enjoy your day!!

slave_brenda/Brenda

Good Day To All,

Well Ladies and Gentlemen we have 4 days before Thanksgiving and FOTBALL! lol i am not sure what teams are playing on Thanksgving but i will find out.I like the PATS and STEELERS! ;-)) But most of the holiday Master and i will be at Sir_Marks for dinner,and on Wednesday i have to buy a cookie and cup cake tray to take over to Sir_Marks,and since i will be there to help slave_angie prepare for Thanksgiving on wednesday i will just leave the goodie trays there. :-)) I will also be helping slave_angie serve the dinner and when all of Sir_Marks guests are served then angie and i will sit and eat,and after i will assist her with clean up,and it will give me more time on wednesday to discuss the final living arrangements for her before i go into the hosptial for surgery December 3rd.

As i previous stated angie will be living with Master and myself temporarily taking over my DOMESTIC DUTIES! until i can recover from back surgery and resume them myself and When the time comes Master will dismiss slave_angie and she will return to Sir_Mark.she is an excellant domestic slave! and is very good with my cats/girls and that is the most important part for me and Master that she loves my girls and cars for their needs because i will not be able to,and though they will run and hide because they are afraid of STRANGERS in our home the more they see angie and she speaks to them in a calm soft voice and non threatening they will come around. :-))

Once i am back home from the hospital and my girls see and hear my voice they will feel more at ease and also hear Masters voice and see Him as well. I will miss my girls TERRIBLY when i am in the hospital :-(( because i am always home and with them and even 2 or 3 days away will be difficult for me.Master will stay with me at the hospital and get a hotel room for the night close to the hospital and he will call back here and get an update from angie and then pass on the information to me :-)) plus i have pictures of my girls on my cell phone so at least i can see their cute faces and have them with me indirectly :-))

I just want this DAMN SURGERY over with so i can come back home and start my recovery and be with my little family,Master and my 2 girls. Christmas will be peaceful and quiet for Master my girls and myself Master will dismiss slave_angie so she can spend it with Sir_Mark her MASTER and the same on New Years.I do not want ANYONE at our home for Christmas and New years.i just want my little happy family with me NO OUTSIDERS!

Hopefuly by the end of Jan depending on how quickly i am recovering Master can dismiss slave_angie and send her back home to Sir_Mark and i can start taking over my DOMESTIC DUTIES once again but i am taking it one day at a time,and Sir_Mark has lent out slave_angie to master for FREE!! because they are friends for as long as necessary She will take care of my girls and our home while Master takes care of me personaly :-)) it will all work out GREAT! :-))

Now if you will all excuse me i am going to have some ME Time before Master gets up and i start my day with Him i hope you day goes well and your Monday goes by quickly and dont forget you actualy have 3 more days to purchase all of your Thanksgiving feast and for those who are BRAVE enugh for BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING! GOOD LUCK WITH THAT! lol i am all finished excpet for going to PETCO and getting my girls toy stuffed stocking :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good Evening to all,

Master had allowd me to chat with his online submissive and that was a nice gesture by Him,I NEVER asked He just said Since you will be SWITCHING with her I felt that it is important to get to know her first,so we chatted and she is very nice.Master allowed each of us to ask personal questions so there wuld not be any SECRETS! and to be open and honest with one another is very important.

We chatted for about an hour online and Master has allowed us to email back and forth,and He even allowed me to do a little ONLINE switching if she would agree to it and she did,just to give me the feel of switching.NOTHING Heavy just some low key SWITCHING! while Master observed,and since Master and his online sub have cams it was easy,and Master told his online submissive that she will address me as Maam when i am practicing and to OBEY! me as she does with him,and it was exciting for me.

I really did not know what to say to her but Master helped me and guided me and i enjoyed it very much,I made many mistakes but it is to be expected that is why Master supervises me and guides me,and He told his online submissive that for 1 hour a night that i may SWITCH and do some online DOMINATING! with Master supervising the whole time,ad since i go to bed alot earlier then Master the time Master has established is fron 6pm until 7pm nightly,but tonight was just to introduce ourselves to one another and get to know each other,but tomorrow night i will be able to actually start switching more and i am excited about that.

One of the personal questions i asked her and this was difficult to ask because i did not want to hear the reply but i wanted to know.i asked Cathy (Her Name) if she LOVED Master and she said YES But she told me Master does not love her and NEVER Will because he told her that he loves ONLY Me but cares about her well being as a good DOMINANT should.She also told me that Master was HONEST with her from the beginning and told her about me and our living arrangement and that he was NEVER Leaving me or RELEASING me for her or any other sub or slave,and if she had an issue with that she could leave and find another unattatched Master who will give her what she wants and needs if she is looking for a 24/4 LIVE IN D/s relationship but she said she was happy with what her and Master had online.

Cathy said that Master speaks about me nightly and she also knows about my up and coming back surgery and wishes me the best of luck and she will be praying for me and i really appreciate that. Cathy also told Me Master thinks highly of me and my total and complete devotion,loyality and faithfullness and OBEDIENCE! and He is PROUD of me and LOVES Me more every day :-))

Cathy said she realizes that her relationship with Master is STRICTLY! a D/s one and nothing more no Romantic tendencies on His part no LOVE! nothing like that pertaining to her and she accepts it so now everything is in the open and it was nice to meet her She is INTELLIGENT and is EXPERIENCED as a submissive and she is OBEDIENT! Cathey realizes that SWITCHING for me will NEVER in a SEXUAL NATURE with her even though she is BI-SEXUAL! she knows i am STRAIGHT and it is more about PAIN for her NOT SEX! She gets off on PAIN! so PAIN! is what Master and i will give her but more Master then me until i learn more but PAIN is what she BEGS for so Master gives her what she wants .

Since it is ONLINE and not face to face YET! He tells her to ADMINISTER PAIN! on herself while Master and i watched! WOW! Nothing i would NEVER do.i cold not take the PAIN LEVELS cathy can endure not even 1/2 of the pain levels.At one point i had to excuse myself because my stomach was beginning to get upset with what Master had her do and she begged him for more! it is EXTREME PAIN PLAY! and she LOVES IT! and GETS OF ON IT! Not me,but Master LOVED It and so did Cathy! and TRUST! Me,this woman and endure HIGH LEVELS of PAIN! I never thought a human body espeically a WOMAN! could endure so much PAIN! but she begs for it AMAZING! and Master knows how to do it without causing cathy any real harm.

So it was nice and i am looking forward to SWITCHING more with Cathy.I LOVE Master so much.He is honest and not DECEITFUL! and puts everything out on the table NO SECRETS! from Cathy or myself and no EMPTY PROMISES made to her only TRUTH! :-)) I have such a high RESPECT and ADMIRATION for my Master who has INTEGRITY! ite Breathtaking to me.and i am HONORED to be owned and collared to my Master He is a TRUE HONEST MASTER! in my eyes and just PERFECT to me and for me! and no other MASTER cold ever come CLOSE or COMPETE with Him.EVER!

You all have a GREAT Night! Sleep well,Until Tomorrow!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Okay now to begin again on a happier note since i got my previous post out of my system lol Okay now i have an interesting fact i forget to mention about Master and myself,so i will mention it now.It is kind of IRNONIC! when you think about it but it works for us :-))

Master has always been a SADIST but in the beginning when we first started chatting in a YAHELL BDSM CHATROOM! (which by the way i will NEVER download YAHELL MESSENGER AGAIN) Master had explained to me that He was a SADIST! But VERY Rough around the edges with his sadism and i wont get into that because i explained this in a previous post,and after Master said to me I AM A SADIST! and LOVE To ADMINISTER PAIN TO PAIN SLUTS! (another thing i am NOT! Is a PAIN SLUT) I have VERY Low PAIN TOLERANCE! and i stated this to Master or SIR at that time,i said hmmmmm i dont like EXTREME PAIN! and what He said next made me have so much RESPECT and ADMIRATION for him and i really did not know him persoanlly yet.

He said SLAVE,if thngs work out between you and I and you decide to stay with me knowing i do own a SLAVE in REAL TIME,i can tone down my SADISMN for YOU! and we will work on different ways for Me to DOMINATE You! WOW! I said Thank You Sir, i would like that very much and YES! i want to stay.He was beginning to understand that being a SADIST! did not mean ABUSE or CRUELITY! to the EXTREME without CONSENT :-))

The real TEST came when master moved in with me back in JUNE of this year and we were finally PHYSICALLY together after 12 years,but by that time Master had evolved and changed his way of thinking when it came to his SADISM! He still CRAVES It because it is who he is and always will be,but He can channel those URGES and DESIRES! Upon his ONLINE SUBMISSIVE who is a MASOCHIST! and though they are not PHYSICALLY Together He has to DOMINATE her VIRTUALLY! which for me does NOTHING! but He gets those SADISTIC NEEDS Met in some form,and that submissive will be the one Master has chosen when the time is right for me to SWITCH! with,He will pay for her to come to Vermont so we all can meet and she has already agreed with what Master proposed to her.

She will come to our home for a visit and He will supervise as i SWITCH! with his online submissive (not slave) then after She will return home,she will not live with us nor will it be a POLY relationship she will just come here so i can practice SWITCHING! in a NON-SEXUAL WAY!

What is so great about Master is how accomidating He can be to my needs and to the needs of his ONLINE submissive! He can switch his emotions and feelings to suit His online submissive and me and His needs get met by both ME and her :-))

One stipulation is since she is a PAIN SLUT! and LOVES receiving PAIN! and has a high tolerance for PAIN! Master will teach me how to SAFELY inflict pain upon her without causing real harm,I will watch him DOMINATE her and take notes and see how he does it then i will take over while he supervises! but again SWITCHING wlll not happen for months until i am completely recoverd from surgery or pretty close to it.

I know the submissives name address phone number and have a picture of her so there are no secrets! she does not live to far away.She is from Rhode Island so when it is time Master will pay for her trip here but she will pay for her own hotel room because she is not staying with Master and myself Master will pay for her coming here and going back home and she will pay for a hotel room that is only fair and she agreed,plus she has a good Job and makes a really good salery.She is Divorced,She is 53 years old and has 2 grown childen and she can come here for weekend visits once a month so i can get the practice of SWITCHING! for master and his pleasure :-))

So in closing even though Master is a SADIST and i am NOT a MASOCHIST Our M/s relationship works because He has the knowledge and experience to be accomidating and switch off (so to speak) His SADISM toward me then SWITCH it back on for his ONLINE PAIN SLUT! so everyone is happy :-))

Now if you all will excuse me,I am going o enjoy a little ME Time before i get Master up and ready for our day and church! I hope you all have a GREAT! Sunday and be well and safe! and i wish you a abundance of JOY,PEACE AND HAPPINESS This Thanksgiving and everyday after! with much LOVE! :-))Take care f yourselves and each other and show some kindness and RESPECT toward others and you will receive it in retrun 10 fold :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

I keep receiving Messages from either NON-FAKE MEMBERS who make FAKE PROFILES then DELETE It and diappear or ACTUAL Members stating NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU SAY!! And I am becoming VERY ANNOYED when i am minding my own business,and i will add to all WHO DONT CARE! what i post,I DONT CARE IF YOU LIKE IT OR READ IT! I Will continue to post what i want when i want,I do not want to be like this but i am becoming PISSED OFF With others who seem to send me messages just to say NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU AND YOUR MASTER! can we say JEALOUS? because i have a REAL LIFE M/s relationship? and not some virtual FANTASY?? which i do not care for or interested in,and i PREVIEW all messages from others i do not know or have chatted with then i just DELETE It without ever actually opening the message,then i BLOCK! The person,and i BLOCK those people without remorse or hesitation and Master also reads them because i SAVE THEM! Now i will post a DISCLAIMER before i post what i want to discuss! so EVERYONE Here understands!

                   DISCLAIMER!!

If any MEMBER or NON_MEMBER FAKE MEMBERS who do not like or care what i post on a daily basis and i have stated this a couple of times now and this will be the last time,We all have CHOICES and can make decisions and GOD has given you a WILL of your own,so if you do not like or care about what i post or me for that matter,then USE YOUR GOD GIVEN RIGHT!! to CHOOSE!! to move on to other journals and other members that may interest you.i mind my own business and not bother,harrass or add others at random and i am not lurking around here i come here to post in my journal and LEAVE! and if i do receive messages dependiing on who it is from i will either PREVIEW the message first and read it that way or actually open the message and read it then if it is NASTY i save it and let Master read it.

PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME NASTY MESSAGES ABOUT WHAT I POST HOW I TYPE JUST TO INSULT ME! BECAUSE I NEVER DO THAT TO OTHER MEMBERS I BOTHER NO ONE!!AND I AM NOT HERE TO BE POPULAR WITH ANYONE,I AM POPULAR WITH MASTER AND THAT IS THE ONLY PERSON I WANT TO BE POPULAR WITH!! YOU HAVE CHOICES I SUGGEST YOU UTILIZE THOSE GOD GIVEN RIGHTS AND MOVE ON!!

I will not keep addressing this issue and if i do continue to receive NASTY INSULTING MESSAGES i will not post anything publically i will just PREVIEW your message without opening it then DELETE it and BLOCK YOU! i am done repeating myself on this issue when i tried to be nice about it,but i am DONE being nice.

That is all i am saying on this and this conversation has ended!! and so has this ISSUE! I will not DEAL with any further INSULTS from other members or FAKE MEMBERS who make FAKE PROFILES just to INSULT ME then delete their profile and disappear!.

I will post this then post again about what i want to discuss today! and if you dont like it MOVE ON!!

             slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good Day To All,

I received Masters Christmas Gifs and they are wrapped and under our Christmas tree,Now i am just waiting for His MMMMMMMMMM!! smelling cologne to arrive after December 1st,I am hoping it will arrive after i am home from the hospital,but angie knows that if it arrives before i get home to put it aside and i will wrap it when i get here. :-)) Wednesday i will go and buy the cookie and cupcake tray to bring over to Sir_Marks for Thanksgiving then head over to His house and help angie prepare for the Dinner on Thursday,and Sir_Mark has a BERAUTIFUL Home and angie takes very good care of Sir_Mark and OBEYS! Him and Sir_Mark Loves angie and cares so much for her and makes sure her needs are met just as Master makes sure mine are met :-))

Today i do not have to run errands because Master did not leave me a list of outside errands to run,If he did i usually find a list on the counter but i did not find one today,so i assume (and YES! i know what happenes when one assumes) lol let me rephrase it,I am sure Master does not want any special errands for me to do today :-)).Everyday i find a list of chores and errands He wants me to do,i have my regular DOMESTIC DUTIES to get done,and they will not take me long to finish and if i want to go somewhere on my own today all i have to do is ask Master for permission,and he will allow it :-))

I hope that all of you are preparing for Thanksgiving.and then next Saturday Master and i are going over to Lasalette Shrine in Enfield New Hampshire and go to Mass and admire the over 20.000 AMAZING BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS LIGHTS tehy have set up and all the HUGE BEAUTIFUL Lawn displays but first Master and i will go out to dinner in West Leb New Hampshire at the weather Vain (a sea food restaurant) and i will only eat SHRIMP,SCALLOPS AND CLAMS! lol i HATE every other fish and sea food lol but SHRIMP SCALLOPS AND CLAMS i can eat and LOVE! So i pray the weather holds off so Master and i can go.

When i leave the little chapel after Mass i feel such peace and tranquility and inner calm,and i NEED! To talk with God in his house especially since my surgery is quickly approaching in 2 weeks,I need His STRENGTH More then ever and going to Mass does that for me :-)) I feel good,happy and inner calm from my heart to my soul and then my whole being :-))

Well now if you will excuse me i am going to relax finish my morning decaf coffee and have some ME Time before Master gets up and we start our day together :-))

You all have a GREAT Day oh i almost forgot BLACK FRIDAY is quickly approaching as well and for all the Ladies who shop that day GOOD LUCK!! i NEVER shop BLACK FRIDAY there is ABSOLUTELY NO sale waking up at 3am and standing outside FREEZING MY ASS OFF of a retail store waiting for the doors to open at 5am when the store only has about 20 of the sale items they ADVERTIZE when there is 100 people or more wanting it.so GOOD LUCK! to all going Christmas shopping on BLACK FRIDAY My shopping is DONE all but going to PETCO and i will do that next Weekend to get my girls toy stocking :-))

Many Blessings to You,Your Loved Ones and Friends!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

I just received a message asking if i would ever be interested in a DADDY DAUGHTER DYNAMIC! instead of MASTER/SLAVE and the answer is NO!! I am not interested in a DADDY/DAUGHTER DYNAMIC! i am not into playing a little girl! i am over that stage in my life and i do not want a DADDY FIGURE! i want a FIRM MASTER! in every sense of the word.I cant even see myself saying DADDY,MAY YOUR LITTLE GIRL TOUCH YOU,KISS YOU ETC?! I am a 50 year old woman not a 10 year old little girl!! i know many couples do enjoy the DADDY/DAUGHTER DYNAMIC but i am not one of them!! i enjoy addressing my OWNER as MASTER not DADDY!! The mere sound of it makes me want to laugh really coming from me.lol

Maybe if i was 20 years old i could see myself in that kind of DYNAMIC but not at 50!! MASTER has a sweet ring to it DADDY! Not at all!!.so NO! i wold NEVER consider a DADDY/DAUGHTER DYNAMIC! I am happy with MASTER/slave but i do appreciate the question,you never know until you ask. :-))

I hope your friday is going well and quickly for you!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

TGIF Everyone,

Today i want to shed some light and discuss Masters background a little more in this lifestyle,and i am talking 12 years ago when we met,and how he has evolved,changed and grew as the MASTER He is today.

Before i proceed i want to remind other members here or NON-MEMBERS (Who make fake profiles then disappear without a trace so nobody can track you) that if you do not LIKE or CARE what i post here any day of week make sure you utilize your GOD GIVEN RIGHT NOT to read my entries and move on to other Journals you may be interested in reading and not send me NASTY MESSAGES! Just a small disclaimer!!

Now moving on to what i want to discuss,

When i first met Master in a YAHELL BDSM CHATROOM 12 years ago i had ZERO EXPERIENCE of this lifestyle but i did have some knowledge because i did my research,and gained the knowledge on my own by reading reputable BDSM Informative websites like LEATHER AND ROSES! and i took notes as well so i had some knowledge but NO Experience and that is what i was seeking from a MATURE EXPERIENCED Master who had been active in this lifestyle and not just sitting behind his computer typing words!

So when i met Master online and we started chatting and he explained that at that time he OWNED a slave and the relationship was ongoing,and i will not get into that part of this story because i already explained it previously! what i will discuss is how RAW AND DEEPLY SADISITIC MASTER was and did not really have a grasp on boundries YET! He was beginning to change at that point in his life because He was taught from a MISTRESS who Did not RESPECT the rights of subs and slaves and had this DO WHAT EVER YOU WANT TO THEM AND THEY WILL NOT PROTEST,BEAT THEM HIT THEM DO WHATEVER YOU WISH BECAUSE YOU ARE THEIR MASTER!! which every EXPERIENCED DOMINANT knows that what the MISTRESS taught Master was FALSE and PURE UNADULTURATED ABUSE! But That was how Master was taught to treat a SLAVE! by this UNEDUCATED MISTRESS! But it was all Master knew at that time but was opening his eyes and thinking to himself THIS IS NOT RIGHT I AM SURE OF IT!

Master and i chatted more and more and i helped him realize from the research i did myself that how he was treating his slave was ABUSIVE and not the right way to make her SUBMIT and OBEY! so Master found couples that introduced him to the DUNGEONS and Master saw first hand how things were done SAFELY and CONSCENTUALLY! and then a light bulb went off and he said NOW I SEE HOW A GOOD DOMINANT IS SUPPOSE TO BE so He started doing things differently with his slave he owned at that time and he started to change for the better and began RESPECTING her RIGHTS and listening more to what she wanted and that a M/s relationship was based on MUTUAL RESPECT! and Master could get his slave to OBEY! Him not by ABUSE and INTIMIDATION But by making sure thar His slave really wanted to do certain thngs and began to learn BOUNDRIES and what LINES not to cross.

Master slowly became the WONDERUL CARING LOVING RESPECTFUL MASTER he is today from other couples who showed Him the SAFE and CORRECT way to DOMINATE! a slave and I am so very PROUD of him He has grown and now at a place where he is CONFIDENT in his DOMINANCE and knows that i will do ANYTHING! for him and he doesnt have to BEAT ME TO DEATH to get his way.He knows how LOVE Him and want nothing more then to make him Happy and that is why when He approached me about SWITCHING! because it was something He wanted me to do of course i said YES MASTER I WILL BE MORE THEN HAPPY TO COMPLY and try this new side of Me for Him :-))

All Master has to do is say to Me SLAVE,I WISH TO DISCUSS SOMETHING IMPORTANT WITH YOU PLEASE COME HERE FOR A WHILE WHILE WE TALK! and i say ABSOULTELY MASTER MY DARLING RIGHT AWAY! and thats all it takes.He doesnt have to Put the FEAR OF GOD in me and serving is not about doing it out of FEAR but serving because it is what makes a slave happy knowing he/she is making their OWNER Happy! so Master has come a very long way in his DOMINANCE! and has grown into the MASTER i knew he could be plus He is SEXY AS HELL and smells yummy!! every day :-))

Now if you will excuse me i have some errands to run and blood work to get as part of my physical so i will be able to get my surgery,You all have a FANTASTIC Day and stay well and safe :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good Evening All,

I am sorry i did not get the chance to post today for i was busy with errands Master needed done plus i layed down for a bit because i am not sleeping to well lately,I am under alot of STRESS with surgery quickly approaching in 2 weeks,but i realize that it needs to happen and needs to be done because there is no other alternative,if there was i would certainly go that route instead of having my lower back cut but there isnt.Surgery is the only option.

Doing NOTHING! isnt fixing the issue living on morphine pills is not correcting the problem so Surgery is the only opton,but i have to admit i am SCARED! and i have expressed my fear to Master who has been more then supportive and encouraging for me,infact Master has been my ROCK!!! and my INSPIRATION! and my STRENGTH! He strongly believes as other i have talked with this surgery will make my life better and i pray they are all correct in that assumption.All i know is something needs to be dne because i cant live the way i have this year for the rest of my life and i want to get off the DAMN MORPHINE PILLS! I am SICK and TIRED of being SICK and TIRED! and always feeling like SHIT! due to taking 1 and 1/2 Morphine pills daily!

I caanot wait to get off the MORPHINE! Once and for all and cleanse my body free of it i will be a new woman just getting the Morphine out of my system.i will feel much better that is my goal! :-))

I am also thinking of the holidays and how it will be to be home and celebrating with my Master and my 2 precious girls/cats :-)) slave_angie will be dismissed and back with Sir_Merk her MASTER then my Master myself and my 2 girls will have a quiet peaceful Christmas and New Years and of course SANTA will arrive lolol.

I am not a selfish person i would rather buy for Master and my girls but this year it is all about ME! I have suffered all year and been in PAIN! with my TETHERED SPINL CORD! so HELL YEAH I WANT GIFTS! lolol but you all know that i bought Master very nice gifts as well and will get my girls their toy stocking next weekend at PETCO! so i am not entirely SELFISH! just 50 percent lol it will be nice to be waited on and pampered for a little while until i recover but i will not get to complacent or comfortable because once i recover then i begin my DOMESTIC DUTIES again and my SERVITUDE plus also begin learning to SWITCH for my beloved Master which excites me WOW! Me switch for master is EROTIC! I never thought of switching before But Master wants me too so i will :-))

He will choose one of his online slaves so i can DOMINATE Her NON-SEXUALLY! and Master will teach me and Sir_Mark knows a EXPERIENCED MISTRESS who will also come to my home and teach me how to DOMINATE! but i want to stress to others that in no way will i personcally be searching for a slave to SWITCH with Master is doing that himself.I will not be seeking a slave on my own i will only switch with a slave Master chooses for Me and be OBEDIENT to Him ONLY! However He has instructed when the times comes to UPDATE my profile stating that i will be a SWITCH! so everyone wil know that when the time is right which will not be for MONTHS! depending when i will be fully recovered.and only then will i SWITCH for Masters pleasure not until :-))

I think i will enjoy it but i need to learn PROPERLY and SAFELY! how to SWITCH because i have no experience i NEVER did it before but Master and a Mistress will help me and teach me the Proper safe way to SWITCH! so it will be a whole new chapter for me in this lifestyle and i am eager to learn and please m MASTER! :-)) SWITCHING is for his benefit and pleasure so of course i will do whatever he wants me to do and orders me to do to make him happy! and i know if he is happy i am happy,it is not about ME it is about HIM! and his desires,wants and needs,i will compliment Him by SWITCHING! for Him :-)) and the thought of serving just Him but SWITCHING with nother slave makes it exciting and erotic but not in a SEXUAL ASPECT! because as i stated previously I AM NOT INTO WOMEN SEXUALLY! but i will learn to DOMINATE Masters online slave in a non-SEXUAL way by doing other things such as VERBAL and PHYSICAL HUMILIATION,DEGRADING and walking her on a leash ETC! and as far as using toys such as floggers,whips and canes,that will take ALOT of practice because i NEVER want to hurt or harm another HUMAN BEING! and i have NO EXPERIENCE with using whips,floggers or canes so Master and the Mistrsss will have to show me how SAFELY! and i know i will learn and succeed :-))

Anyway.. You all have a good night God Bless and sleep well,i will return Tomorrow :-)) and i hope you all had a GREAT day!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good Evening All,

I had my physical and i am ready for surgery,now Master and i need to stay healthy from now until December 3rd and we do not need a BLIZZARD!! either lol but the way my luck has been this year we probably will lol then after waiting all year i will have to reschedule it then i wont get it until most likely feb or march of next year,but i pray to GOD that he will hold off any amount of snow until i come home then it can snow all it wants because i will be hibernating lol but not before,if we get a little snow okay but not a foot or more because in order for us to get to New Hampshire we have to travel over Killington Mountain and there is no way Master will attempt to drive over the mountain in a blizzard even though we have 4 wheel drive,but it does not matter if one has 4 wheel drive or not,NOTHING will stop you on ICE! Not chains,not 4 wheel drive NOTHING! and it isnt worth risking our lives when as much as Master and i do not want too will reschedule surgery.

We still have 2 more weeks so lets pray the snow holds off until i get home :-)) now all i am waitiing for is Masters Christmas gifts to arrive they were shipped today so hopefuly tomorrow or the first pasrt of next week,but i wish his cologne was not on back order until December 1st UGGGHH!! lol i wanted everything to arrive BEFORE i went into the hospital so i could wrap ALL his gifts and place them under our tree but i told angie if Massters cologne comes when i am in the hospital to tell me when i get home and then i will wrap it and place it under the tree with his other gifts :-)) My girls stocking as i stated will be put in our storage shed because once they smell the cat nip and hear the bells from their toys they will want them and they have to wait until Christmas Night :-)) i will go to petco Over the Thanksgiving weekend and buy their gifts :-))

When I help angie at Sir_Marks house next wednesday preparing for Thanksgiving dinner i will be able to talk with her further what is expected of her when she moves in with master and myself and the girls but she knows the basics.She is INTELLIGENT and is a EXPEREINCED DOMESTIC SLAVE! so she knows what to do but i just have to go over a few things about the girls because they will be AFRAID of her until they become aquanted with her they will hide and i will explain she needs to speak in a soft voice so they understand she will not hurt them or harm them in any way.but i know she will :-)) She just has to speak to Baby Girl and Sissy in a soft,calm loving voice and show them she loves them and they will come around :-))

I will miss them so much when i am in the hosptial :-(( and of cuorse i will worry about what is going on back here at home :-(( but i know our home and my girls will be in good hands with slave_angie,but i will still worry that is just me.I will be happy the day Master drives me back home so i can start my recovery,rest and enjoy Christmas and New Years with master and my PRECIOUS Girls! :-))

Now if you will excuse me,I need to prepare dinner Master will be getting hungry and so am i :-)) Enjoy your night everyone God Bless and sleep well. Until Tomorrow!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good Day To All,

Angie (Sir_Marks) slave called me and asked me if Master would allow me to come over to her house next wednesday and help her prep for Thanksgiving only if i feel up to it. I said okay honey let me ask Master and i will call you back,so i asked Master and he said Yes slave but do you feel up to it? i said YES MASTER i will be okay it wont be bad and she is going to live with us and take over all of my DOMESTIC DUTIES! after surgery and she will be busy and i know tired,so of course i will assist her prepare for Thanksgiving dinner,Sir_Mark did invite us over for the holiday and angie is a sweet slave,kind experienced and knows what needs to be done and when just as i do and she is my friend so i will be happy to assist her :-)) what are friends for if they cannot help one another? :-))

Sir_Mark and angie are two of the nicest people i have met in this lifestyle next to Master of course :-)) they are good people and are kind to everyone and RESPECT All lifestyles just my kind of people! and they are as SERIOUS about their ROLE in this lifestyle as Master and i are,and we do not play GAMES! BDSM is part of our lives and we live it 24/7 365 it is who we are not what we do when we feel like it nor is it FANTASY!!

On that note i will move on,I received an email and Masters Christmas gifts have been shipped except for his cologne which is still on back order until December 1ST but the rest will arrive by UPS so i can wrap them up and place them under our BEAUTIFUL tree :-))

I want to do as much as possible before i go into the hosptial for surgery and it will help out angie as well.She will be moving in with Master and i on the December 1st until whenever,but will be dismissed to spend Christmas and New years with her Master Sir_Mark,i am praying Master can dismiss her entirely by the end of Jan,but we will have to wait and see how fast i can start to recover and i will know when it is time for Master to dismiss her back to her OWNER!

Sir_Mark will come over on occasion to visit His slave through out her stay with Master and myself and my 2 cats/girls and Master will dismiss her on the 23rd of December to head back home to be with her OWNER and return the Monday after Christmas then again be dismissed on the 29th to spend New Years With her MASTER and return Jan 2nd :-)) plus Master and i want to spend both Christmas and New years alone together just with our girls and do not want any company.that will be OUR time together to celebrate and enjoy the holidays with the girls :-))

Well Ladies and Gentlemen i must go and enjoy some ME Time before Master gets up and i have to go for my PHYSICAL today at 11:45 to make sure i am healthy enough for surgery and i think i a.i am just coming down with a little cold but nothing serious and i can get rid of that in a week or so with medicine and i will make sure Master does not get it.It takes him a little longer to get over it and i do not want him sick i dont want to be sick but at least i had my FLU SHOT and pnumania shot so i am covered in those viruses.i cant afford to be really sick or i will have to reschedule my Surgery and i do not want that i want to get it done so i can come home and start my recovery but you know what will probably happen we will get a BLIZZARD lol an i will have to reschedule anyway lol JUST MY LUCK!! But i pray we dont.

You all have a FANTASTIC DAY! stay well and safe,and better start thinking of THANKSGIVNG! Its next Thursday! :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

I was told my a very sweet male submissive that he was not sure he read my previous post correctly,and he said to me politely to explain what i meant about SWITCHING? that he dd not quite get it right the first time or he thought he may have read my post incorrectly.

No honey,you read it correctly.

Master informed me that when i am fully recovered from my surgery and he isnt rushing it by any means and neither am i,he wants me to try SWITCHING! and he already has a female submissive all lined up for me,infact it is one of his online female submissives he owns.and she is willing to come here when the time is right and allow Me to SWITCH! with Masters supervision.

Master thinks i would make a good SWITCH! and he said i am BITCH! enough to DOMINATE! and he will teach me and Sir_Mark knows of a MISTRESS who is willing to also teach me because i have NO experience in being DOMINANT! but i know i can do this for Master.This is what Master wants of me and i will happily ablige him and his desires,and i know i can do it and will succeed.

However since i am STRAIGHT and not BI-SEXUAL the female submissive i will SWITCH with will not conduct in any SEXUAL ACTIVITIES with me because i am just not into women SEXUALLY! i will SWITCH! in all other ways except SEXUAL! with a woman.Master will supervise the session but nothing is going to happen until i am fully recovered and it will not be for months.

I will ONLY SWITCH with subs or slaves MASTER chooses for me,i will not actively seek any subs or slaves on my own because it will be eventaully be REAL LIFE! and not strictly online! ONLINE in the beginning with cams until i can get used to SWITCHING but then it will become REAL LIFE when i gain more experience,but understand that i will remain a slave to MASTER it will never change and i will only OBEY! Him,but He wants me to SWITCH with other subs or slaves of his choosing and watch me and supervise me,so i agreed and will do it.

While i am recovering i will do my own online research and read up and take notes on SWITCHING and when i am ready Master and a MISTRESS will physically show me and teach me but again nothing is going to happen for months so sometime next year when i am fully recovered from my surgery. I am excited about it and very eager to learn how to SWITCH! and since i do have some knowledge of this lifestyle and i am not STUPID nor NAIVE i think i will do fine at SWITCHING! I know it will take time to learn but i will learn and please Master because he wants this of me,He said it will be the NEXT LEVEL of our M/s relationship.and if he wants me to switch then i will OBEY! Master and learn to SWITCH for him and his pleasure, but will remain OBEDIENT To him ONLY! :-))

I will update on this issue at a later date again when it is time but i wanted to share the news with others who may be interested in reading it.I have much work to do when i get home from the hospital,and have nothing but time to do the research on SWITCHING! :-))

Now i really have to go for the rest of the day.i have to go out and run some errands,i will retuen tomorrow,and if i receive anymore messages i will read them and reply tomorrow.

Enjoy the rest of your day!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

I was just about to logg offline when i received a couple of emails alerting me i had messages waiting for me and these are worth answering now instead of later,at least i think so anyway.

The first question was regarding me being a SWITCH some time next year,I was asked if i will be searching for a Male or Female sub or slave here to Dominant with Masters permission? and the answer is NO! Master has someone in mind for me already,and i will only SWITCH! with a sub or slave Master picks for me,i will not personally be searching,that has already been established and again this will not happen for months not until i am fully recovered how ever long that takes.

The second message was not so nice but we all get those once in a while and i will respond PUBLICALLY! so this person can see i read the message and have allowed ALL MEMBERS to read it plus my response.

This SELF PROCLAIMED MALE DOMINANT said,NO BODY CARES ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MASTER,AND IF YOU ARE SO HAPPY WHY ARE YOU HERE POSTING BORING ENTRIES WHEN NOBODY GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOU DO AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

Well,all i can say is this,if anybody does not want to read my journal entries then DONT MOVE ON to the next that will interest you,i am not FORCING anyone to come here to read my profile or journal entries you have choices and i highly suggest you enforce your RIGHT TO move on,and second i come here because i enjoy posting my daily life experiences and i have just as much right to be here as any other member considering i NEVER Harrass,annoy,message or bother anyone else here,i do not just add people at random,and i will NOT stop posting in my journal just because 1 member thinks its BORING and nobody is intrerested! If you are GREAT if not then just dont stop by move along to the next member whose journal entry may interest you,but i am not going to stop because some PROCLAIMED DOMINANT! thinks i should.

As anyone else i also have choices here and can make my own decisions and if i really have a problem with a member here i just inform Master and let him deal with it accordinglly,but i am 50 years old a grown woman and i do not have to run to my OWNER every 5 minutes when i have issues with others,i can usually handle the situation myself quite well thank you!! and i do!

So this is for any member who THINKS i should not be here,or my journal entries are BORING and YOU DONT CARE! all i will say is you have choices and can make your decision as to stop by my page or not and if you dont like me or what i post without ever having chatted with me then it seems to me you have your own issues to work out,and you are free to move on and read other journals and profiles that may you find interesting.i post daily because i enjoy it and if you like it or not really does not matter to me because i am not forcing ANYONE! to come here,but i have a right to be here and will continue to be here and mind my own business,because i am not bothing any member here or harassing any member or adding any member at random i am minding my own business and you either like me and what i post or you dont! but i will continue to post daily if only for my own pleasure and benefit.

I will say this again,EVERYONE is welcomed here NOBODY is excluded but if you are going send me NASTY MESSAGES stating how much you do not like what i post or you think NOBODY CARES what i post PLEASE DONT! I know not everybody thinks what i post is interesting i do not expect it but what i do expect is a little RESPECT and KINDNESS! and not pre-judge or judge me by my profile or what or how i type my journal entries and if you cannot show show me common curtesy,RESPECT and KINDNESS as i would show you then PLEASE DO NOT STOP BY! Just to tell me how BORING my entries are and NOBDOY CARES! because you do not think i know this already? i do,but use your RIGHT to choose to move on!

i am not going to FIGHT,ARGUE ORDISAGREE with any member here,i have enough i am dealing with in my REAL LIFE with my surgery coming up and i am ot going to stay here daily and FIGHT,or DISAGREE with other members .i have no time,or energy to do so. If you want to stop by i am happy you did but if you stop by just to send me NASTY RUDE MESSAGES THEN DONT! Because i am not doing that to YOU!

Thank you,

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good Day to all,

I received an email yesterday stating that Masters cologne is on back order and will not be shipped until December 1st,and my Surgery is December 3rd,I am hoping it will not arrive until i get home but Master said if the gift arrives before i arrive home He will NOT! Look in the box and i said THANK YOU MASTER I APPRECIATE THAT! :-))

DAMN! I was hoping it would be delivered before i went into the hospital,oh well it tells me the cologne for 92.00 a bottle is POPULAR! lol it must be alot of people thnk it smells good as wel :-)) and TRUST!! me it does :-) it is MMMMMMMMMMM!!! and the bottle is quite nice.it is in the shape of a crown PERFECT for Master :-)) His oher gifts should be arriving soon then i can wrap them and put the under our tree. :-))

My 2 cats/girls NEVER bother the gifts and i dont have HUMAN CHILDREN so Master and i can put gifts under the tree whenever we choose to do so. i have a corner all cleared for gifts the only gifts i cannot put under the tree is my girls kitty stocking filled with toys because when they smell the cat nip and hear the bells in the toys they will want it sooner then christmas lol so i have to put them in our storage shed until christmas then Master will go out to the storage shed and get the toy stocking :-))

Master and i will celebrate christmas a little different from others and as i said since i do not have HUMAN CHILDREN! Master and i can prolong Christmas and not open our gifts in the morning.We open our gifts christmas night after we have our dinner so it prolongs the holiday for us :-)) and the girls do not care when they get their stocking filled with toys.Master and i like it that way and this will be the first year Master and i have spent the holidays together after a 12 year long distance relationship.so it will be EXTRA SPECIAL for the both of us and i will be home from the hospital recovering from my back surgery :-))

i will finally have my MASTER with me that i never thought i would so now i have my happy little family all together this year so God has certainly blessed my life :-)) Master said he will order all of my gifts online because he doesnt like to shop lol but that is a GUY THING!! lolol most guys do not however there are a few out there that do enjoy shopping but i dont know any lolol so Master will make it easy for him as i did and order all gifts online and have them delivered to our home simple fast and easy! :-)) but He is waitiing for CYBER MONDAY! next week as i should have but i needed the gifts to arrive before i went into the hopsital that is why i really did not wait but Master can wait and get better deals :-))

We were thinking of something since i will be recovering from surgery on Christmas and MASTER really cannot cook lol Master is going to call the grocery store and have a meal cooked for us and though the food will feed 4 people and more we will have left overs Master will call put the order in and He will go and pick it up and all i will have to do is warm it up or guide Master what to do but everything will be cooked so it will be easy for him lol and i will guide him and help him and i should be able to move around by that time so i can help if he gets stuck with something. :-))

I just want this surgery OVER with so i can come home to my 2 cats/girls :-)) i will miss them terribly! :-(( but i know angie will be here to take care of them but i know they will hide because they are not used to her but once i get home they will be at ease and comfortable :-)) but i know Angie will take good care of them for Master and myself.they are more precious then GOLD! To me and i am very fussy who takes cares of them not just anyone can care for them i will not ALLOW IT! and neither will MASTER! but angie will do fine and Master will call her from the hosptial because he is staying with me and getting a hotel room close to the hospital and he will give me an update on our girls and that everything is okay here at home,and YES!!!! i will worry about things here i wont be able to help it,i want to hurry up and come home and start my recovery :-))

Now if you will excuse me Ladies and Gentlemen i must go but you all have a GREAT Day be well and safe and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends! ALWAYS! :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Hello Everyone,

I have some news i would like to share with you,it is something Master wants me to do when i am fully recovered from my surgery and something i NEVER expected him to say but WOW!! What an honor and i think i have the knowledge to do it.

Master told me not asked me but TOLD!! Mw when i am fully recovered he wants me to try my hand as a SWITCH! Because he said i would make a good SWITCH! Now i take that as a HIGH COMPLIMENT! coming from my OWNER! although i do not have ANY experience as being a DOMINANT! i have the knowledge and Master said He would teach me how to be a GOOD FAIR SWITCH! and He knows a submissive online who would be willing to allow me to DOMINANT! Her but not SEXUALLY! because i am not into WOMEN SEXUALLY! but Dominant her in general.

However this is not going to happen for many months,but in the mean time i am going to do my own online research and Master also informed Me He will talk with Sir_Mark because Sir_Mark knows a female Dominant who will come over to my house and also teach me some lessons on how to be a SWITCH! hmmm i never really thought about being a SWITCH! before but i think i can do it if that is what MAaster wants of me and it sounds very exciting and interesting.

One thing i do know from being a FULL TIME LIVE IN SLAVE! is that being a Dominant is more then just BARKING ORDERS at someone and DEMANDING OBEDIENCE! because no DOMINANT DEMANDS OBEDIENCE from just any and all subs and slaves and it takes EXPERIENCE and KNOWLEDGE how to be a good Dominant Male or Female and if Master wants me to learn for His pleasure and benefit then that is what i shall do.

His exact words were I KNOW YOU ARE A BITCH ENOUGH TO BE A GOOD AND FAIR SWITCH! and after he said that i quickly knelt before Him and kissed his feet overt and over again,and i said Master my love i will not fail you,if you wish me to become a SWITCH then a SWITCH is what i will become for YOU!,But understand that i will remain his SLAVE but SWITCH for another submissive or slave,and Master owns an online submissive and He told her that when this happens that she will OBEY! Me as she does Him and he will supervise and guide me with her.

Master said that His online submissive that he owns would be willing to come to our house for a visit so i may SWITCH while Master supervises me and guides me first hand so it will not be STRICTLY! Online but REAL LIFE! and she has agreed to do this for HIM! but again Ladies and Gentlmen this is not going to happen for months down the road Master is not even considering this until i am FULLY RECOVERED how ever long that may be and when i am fully recovered then we will begin and i will become a SWITCH for MASTER and his pleasure! and i know i can do this i have a good healthy self esteem,and healthy EGO and not an INFLATED ONE! meaning i am not going to become one of these DO AS I SAY BECAUSE NOW I AM A SWITCH! BULLSHIT! i would NEVER be like that,but i have the confidence to do what Master asks of me and i will succeed. :-))

Master thinks and knows i can do this and so do i,but not for months down the road :-)) I had to come and share this exciting news with you,this was purely unexpected and NEVER even imagined Master would ask this of me of all people but He believes i can be a Good Honest SWITCH since i am a good honest slave,so if he thinks and believes i can do this then i know i can do this for HIM! :-)) and i will SUCCEDD!! :-))

You all enjoy your night stay warm and dry and now i have alot to think about with this news that Master gave to me ALOT! of thinking :-)) but all good :-)) Until Tomorrow my friends! :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

             Good Day to all,

I received a message that upset me however when i called this person out on the issue she left ABRUPTLY!

I received a message from a female submissive and what she told me ANGERED ME BEYOND BELIEF! But i knew it was not true but just seeing the words had an affect on me but i am getting over it.

This CRUEL SUBMISSIVE! said to me that MY Master was going to release me and she was going to live with him and that he loved her and not me,but before i allowed my ANGER to take over i gathered my thoughts together and responded to her message. and i thnk the whole reason for sending me this type of message was because she is JEALOUS she does not have such a GOOD,KIND GENEROUS MASTER for herself.

So i called her bluff and said so Master is going to release me for YOU! correct? and she said YES! He told me he loved me and is bored of you and he doesnt want to take care of you because i am having back surgery and that i will be a burden.

so i asked her some simple questiions that she should know about Master like his REAL NAME! Where he was originally from,what were his daughters names,what he looked like and his age

She could not answer any of those questions,so i said to her MY Master who YOU claim LOVES You and wants to release me because i will become a BURDEN to him wants to be with you and you do not know ANYTHING about him? NOTHING??! hmmmmmmm Okay because if you asked me those same questions i cold answer every one of them.I said you are a LIAR! AND A NASTY HUMAN BEING! And you dont know MY Master at all nothing about him or his personal life,and you have the ADASITY to message me thinking i would believe your BULLSHIT?!! HA!! How wrong you are!

I also told Her if you knew Master at all you would know we waited 12 long years to be together and he is not leaving after waiting so many years to be with me.so i told her to F**k OFF and NEVER message me again,you know NOTHING about me or Master you cant even tel me his REAL NAME email address or ANYTHING PERSONAL about him.I told her that i was not STUPID or NAIVE as she thought i was i BLOCKED HER! and i saved the message so Master could read it and He responded back to her and allowed me to see what he said to this woman he has NEVER chatted with or met then today when i tried to type her name to see her PROFILE! guess what Ladies and Gentlemen PROFILE NOT FOUND!!!! REALLY! I thought so lol

Just another WHACK JOB! trying to intimidate me or scare me,but the only person who can INTIMIDATE me is MASTER which by the way is another activity i LOVE! but not from just anyone especially some CRAZY WOMAN! online! Makes you wonder what she is like in her REAL LIFE!! I can tell you she is nobody i would ever be friends with!

I wish this site could do something about people just making up a temprary profile then be able to DELETE IT! anytime they want,i think that COLLAR SPACE should have a SPECIAL PASSWORD for MEMBERS ONLY! then not everybody who isnt even in this lifestyle could just come here be STUPID AND IGNORANT then leave without a trace.I think it would be a good idea because there are to many people that just make a FAKE PROFILE then DELETE IT and disappear.

We should have 2 passwords to use one of our own choosing and one the site has for MEMBERS ONLY! then not everybody can log in and make a FAKE PROFILE then DISAPPEAR and DELETE IT! NEVER to be heard from again.

Anywho.. I am good now and i have common sense and used it,but i still was PISSED OFF! over that message just because of the CRUELITY of the message and what she said.but its over and done and i am getting OVER IT! :-))

I have no time to deal with the BULLSHIT! I have Thanksgiving and my surgery coming up and then Christmas I am not wasting my time words or my explanations on IDIOTS here who do not even belong here in the first place!!

STUPIDITY AND IGNORANCE! is something to many people seem to aguire and try to make other people believe in what they say and who they are when we know the TRUTH! because in the end the TRUTH comes out and they are left with OH MY GOD! she/he found out now i am leaving!

                   End of Story!

You all have a GREAT day and i pray you all had a LOVELY weekend,,speaking of STUPIDITY! i found out after the fact actually this morning about CYBER MONDAY! meaning if i had waited to buy Master His christmas gifts i would have got better deals lolol DAMN! oh well its to late now i purchased Master gifts already lol but next year i will know better and patiently wait for CYBER MONDAY! lol live and learn Ladies and Gentlemen live and learn! :-))

               Enjoy your day,
                slave_brenda/Brenda!

Just a quick F.Y.I The woman in my profile picture is NOT! Me I WISH!! lol i am 50 and she looks like she is in her late 20s or 30s and i can only ask SANTA to bring me her body for Christmas!! LMFAO!! and i know that isnt happening either so i guess i am S.O.L.(SHIT OUT OF LUCK) lol

Again enjoy your sunday,time for me to get Master up and prepare His breckfast and shower and lay out His clothes before we head to church :-))

Have a GREAT Sunday All! :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda

Good Sunday Morning All,

Since Master moved in with me i developed a couple of fetishes i NEVER had before EVER The first one is one i talk about often and that is to Smell Him and how YUMMY!! He is.All due to his EXPENSIVE COLOGNE! second I LOVE Master wearing complete BLACK CLOTHING from head to toe and i mean EVERYTHING! from shirt,shoes socks pants belt and underwear and Master wears SEXY Under wear just for me :-)) He is the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE!! to me :-)) Then third is kind of a strange fetish i developed and that is a fasination with his HANDS!! Now you might think and say to yourself what is the big deal with your Masters hands,Well i will tell you.

First of all i never paid any attention to a Mans hands before they were just hands!! we all have them and i never thought anything of them until i met Master. Master has BEAUTIFUL HANDS He has long slim fingers and i love to kiss His hands frequently,actually Master wears a BEAUTIFUL BLACK ONYX RING! so i kiss that daily to show my RESPECT AND LOVE for him,and i suck on each of his long slim fingers MMMMMMMMMMMM!! I Think Master has VERY SEXY HANDS! They are used for PUNISHMENT! and PLEASURE! and i am always asking him if i can hold his hands and just kiss them.MMMMMMMMMM!! With Master wearing BLACK CLOTHING,smelling SO GOOD! and his BEAUTIFUL HANDS!! There is no way i can resist him.But you see i show FAVORTISM lol because He is my MASTER so of course i think he is BEST! But what sub or slave does not think their OWNER is not the BEST! or SEXY! and have certain things about them that turn them on we all do and the same goes for the MASTER and MISTRESS they all have things that turn them on about their sub or slave or just have things they really LOVE about them :-))

For me MASTER is the total package I LOVE everything about him and i am very ATTRACTED to him in all aspects not just SEXUAL! EVERYTHING! I am attracted to him in GENERAL! the only thing i wish i could do is look directly into his beautiful eyes but that is rare most of the time my eyes are kept lowered out of RESPECT! so i NEVER get to really look at him directly! but that is how he wants it and i am his SLAVE! Even when we go out in the VANILLA CPMMUNITY! The only times i am really allowed to look at him directly is on holidays and he is making an exception after my surgery but that is just obvious,so it will be an HONOR for me :-)) but from now until i actually go into the hospital December 3rd NO! My eyes stay lowered but when we go over to Sir_Marks for Thanksgiving and we are surrounded by his family then Master has allowed me to look directly at him because it would be impolite in front of others if i did not do that and they would wonder why i was being so RUDE! when in reality i am showing RESPECT But they do not understand,so Master and i will act like any other VANILLA COUPLE there :-))

However Master bought me some leather wrist cuffs so when we are in a VANILLA SETTING such as Thanksgiving at a friends home i have something to show who i really am without others suspecting anything so i will wear the leather wrist cuffs or bands when we go over to Sir_Marks :-)) I said to Master last night that CHRISTMAS will happen at our home no matter if i have to crawl around the house lolol which Master would enjoy IMMENSELY! lol but surgery will not interfere with our CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES! :-)) It will be GREAT regardless of my recovery :-))

Well Ladies and Gentlemen if you will excuse me i am going to catch some ME Time before i get Master up and get him ready for church so you all have a GREAT! Sunday plus its FOOTBALL DAY!! :-)) and the WALKING DEAD AND TALKING DEAD TONIGHT!! :-)) Be well ad Safe and enjoy your Sunday :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good Evening Everyone,

I finally found out the cologne Master wears that makes Him smell so yummy!! MMMMMMMMMM!! Its called CHANEL ALLURE HOMME and it costs 92.00 a bottle,so i ordered it online so Master will continue to smell good enough to eat lol. I have a saying and basically i took it from M&MS Master melts in my mouth not in my hands :-))

I think Master will LOVE what i bought him,and i know i will more then LOVE what he buys me.for me but just being home recoverying from surgery is enough for me and enjoying my little family.Master and my 2 cats/girls :-)) thats all i want and need,but gifts are nice too lol :-)) i will wrap all of Masters gifts before i go into the hospital then they will be done and the only thing i need to buy is my girls stocking from PETCO! and i will buy that before i go into the hospital as well so by the time i arrive home all i will have to do is relax and concentrate on recovering :-)) then Christmas day slave_angie will be at her Masters home who is Sir_Mark celebrating with him and will return the following monday after Christmas,then Master will dismiss her for New years so she and Sir_Mark can spend new years together and Master and i and the girls can celebrate 2015,not that i will be doing much partying lol but just being with my little family is a party enugh for me :-))

Depending how quickly i can heal and recover will determine when Master will dismiss slave_angie for good back to her Master and when i can resume my DOMESTIC DUTIES! but everyone is different some people recover faster then others and i am going to take it one day at a time and i will know when i am ready to resume my DOMESTIC DUTIES and slave_angie and return to Sir_Mark

One good thing is i will not have to do any cooking or serving on Thanksgiving because Master and myself are invited over to Sir_Marks but knowing me i will ask Master and Sir_Mark if i may assist angie with serving dinner and then sitting with her to eat and i know i will be allowed to help angie in the kitchen and she will appreciate it the help i am sure because from my understanding Sir_Mark is having his whole family over so there will be many people there so Angie can use all the help she can get and i will be there so why not assist her it will make her life easier and then she and i can enjoy the FEAST after everyone else is served.

It will be nice to Meet Sir_Marks family,it will be a lovely gathering at his Beautiful home Master and i are looking forward to it :-)), Eat,Drink and Be Merry for all :-))

You all have a lovely night,and i hope your weekend is going GREAT for you :-)) until Tomorrow! :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Hello and Good Day To All,

I have a funny story to tell,i think it is time to lighten up my messages just a bit.

Master tried to do the sweetest thing for me last night,and you do not know how difficult it was for me to control my laughter because He did try his best GOD BLESS HIM! but the results did not come out as he antisicpated,but I love him so much for his effort and i give him an A Plus just for his effort.

Okay this is what My Sweet and Wonderful Owner TRIED to do for me last night just to show He loves and cares for me.

I asked Master if i could go out with slave_angie yesterday and go Christmas shopping for him and He allowed it and gave me His credit card so i can borrow money against it. So we went out and had a GREAT Day,then i called Master as i am suppose to do when i am going to return home and when i arrived i walked in with my packages and he said to me SLAVE,DO YOU SEE ANYTHING DIFFERENT with our tree? and he said be honest,I Looked at our christmas tree and i almost could not contain my laughter.

Master had took off all the decorations,garland,and lights and tried to re-decorate it for me to look different and it did look different alright.

Master decorated the tree BACKWARDS according to how i did it.He put the christmas bulbs on first instead of the lights then he put the garland on over the christmas bulbs then he put the lights on,He said DO YOU LIKE IT MY DARLING? I said Master it looks GREAT! then i could not contain my laughter i began to LAUGH MY ASS OFF!! I said between laughing Master you redecorated the tree backwards my love I said Master you are my life and i think you are the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE and Smell DELICIOUS! every day but you better leave the decorating to me.and i asked him if i could wrap my arms around him and hug him tight and kiss him and He said YES SLAVE You may touch Me so i wrapped my arms around him tight and kissed His handsome face over and over again and shoved my tongue down his throat and said I LOVE YOU MASTER AND THANK YOU FOR TRYING TO MAKE OUR TREE LOOK DIFFERENT! He held me tight and kissed me back and said I THINK YOU ARE CORRECT SWEET SLAVE I BETTER LEAVE THE DOMESTIC DUTIES TO YOU! lolol

I said THANK YOU MASTER! I asked Him if i may fix our tree and He said YES SLAVE! You may fix our tree.so I took everything off the tree and redecorated it and i said MASTER? THIS IS HOW IT IS SUPPOSE TO LOOK! lol He agreed :-))

He does try to help me but MASTER being a typical MAN who is not DOMESTICATED! lolol tries to do what is right but it just does not work out,He cannot do house work lol but he sure does try.and I LOVE HIM for it among many other things.He was sweet to try. I did not take a picture of the tree because he redecorated it and thought he was doing a good thing and i would NEVER HUMILIATE or EMBARRASS Him by posting His mistakes that would be a MAJOR INFRACTION on my part and He did it out of LOVE! for me.and i appreciated it.He is BEAUTIFUL inside and out and He is all MINE!! How LUCKY i am :-))

You all have a FANTASTIC DAY! Stay well and SAFE!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

TGIF Everyone,

I just received a message from a MALE SLAVE! that was disturbing and sad to me,and althoughi will say what has happened to him should NEVER happen to another HUMAN BEING! and i am not talking about TITLES Ladies and Gentlemen i am talking about a living and breathing human being with feelings and emotoions.He did allow me to post my thoughts and personal perceptions of what he told me,Is he telling the truth? or is he making it up? I can honestly say by what he told me he was telling the truth and who am i to say YOU ARE A LIAR!! when i was not there or over heard any conversations between him and the DOMINANT! I take people at FACE VALUE! and usually believe what they tell me.

This poor male slave said he enjoyed reading my journal entries daily and thinks what i say has value and merit,and i really appreciate that compliment and i am humbled by his kind words.

Now on with his message and my thoughts and personal opinions and perceptions,this may be a litle long so bear with me Ladies and Gentlemen.

I will address him as SLAVE-X because i respect his privacy!

Slave_X messaged me with a sad story that happens all to often in this lifestyle and it is as follows...

He stated to me he was seeing a MISTRESS for about 1 year or so but not a PROFESSIONAL MISTRESS just basically a MISTRESS He thought would be his OWNER one day. He went on to say how devoted,faithful and all givng to this woman he was and like myself gave up total and complete control of his life to her.Well something happened and it was DECEITFUL,CRUEL AND MEAN!! on her part (not his) let me state this for the record.

Okay so as i was saying SLAVE_X was seeing this Mistress face to face for about a year,and from his perspective everything was going GREAT! they had sessions she seemed happy with his service so he told me,and all was well,so he thought. Then one day of out of no where she calls him and says I AM RELEASING YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF SERVING ME ANY LONGER!! Well needless to say He was DEVISTATED and tried to ask her politely and respectfully WHY! what did he do that was so WRONG! she would release Him after 1 year of loyal and faithful service? and all she told him was YOU BORE ME AND I HAVE NO USE FOR YOU ANY LONGER!

and this happened a few months ago from my understanding,He tried to get in touch with her and She deleted all accounts online changed her phone number and even had the addasity to send back letters he wrote her.He was CRUSHED AND HEART BROKEN! and was left with unanswered questions,not to mention his self esteem dropped rapidly and blamed himself for not being a better SLAVE and SERVANT to his MISTRESS!

So last month he saw his former Mistress at a Munch with another MALE SLAVE! and when He politely and respectfully approached her she said WHO ARE YOU SLAVE? I DO NOT KNOW YOU AND YOU ARE RUDE TO JUST WALK up TO ME AND SPEAK TO ME WHEN YOU SEE I HAVE A SLAVE!! NOW GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME AND MY SLAVE ALONE!! He walked away CRUSHED HEART BROKEN and felt like he had been PLAYED for a whole year by this WOMAN Who calls herself a MISTRESS!!

So He was smart and did some investigating on his own and found out by other people he spoke with that this MISTRESS was imfamous for doing things like this to slaves male and female what she does is get a slave to TRUST Her enough to think she will eventually own them us ethem to her own selfish advantage then just KICK THEM TO THE CURB and pretend she NEVER Met them before.

Upon finding out this information SLAVE_X re=evaluated his relationship with this MISTRESS and i use that term loosely)How can One take a slave for one year make him TRUST her and serve her to the best of his abilities and make him think she wants to collar him and turn around and RELEASE him and come up with LAME EXCUSES as to why she is releasing him Sheis NOT a DOMINANT! she is a DISGRACE! to other MISTRESSES who find her behavior and actions as DISPECIABLE as i do and gives god experienced Mistress a BAD REPUTATION which is WRONG!

I feel so bad for SLAVE_X But i told him this was a learning experience for him and now he can see thrugh a FAKE MISTRESS and know the signs to look for and avoid getting hurt again.I have no use for People who go around and hurt,deceive and betray others then walk away like nothing has happened and pretend they do not know the other person.It is CRUEL,DISRESPECTFUL,MEAN AND A FAKE!!!!!!!!! No HONEST expereinced Mistress would do such a thing.I told him NEVER To give up and i thought it was a good idea to step back and re group and get his head on straight before resuming his search,i also told him he can come back any time and chat with me i will be here and i will be his FRIEND! and he apprciated that.

So in conclusion i want to say to any sub or slave or DOMINANT for that matter who has had this same experience with another person claiming to be something they are not just for FUN! I am sorry for what you had to endure and i am sorry you were left with the pieces to pick up while the other person walked away unharmed emotuonally and mentally,but take this HORRIBLE expereince and learn from it so the next time you will not be the VICTIM! and YOU! My dear friends can walk away first leaving others to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives.I wish you all Happiness,Love,RESPECT and tranquility in your life and for those who have NEVER had this horrible experience you and i are the fortunate ones others are not so fortunate,and they need a friend,so be that friend to them help them through their difficult time if that is what they wish,Listen to them and just support them because i know i would want a friend who was supportive and one who would listen to me if i was in that terrible situation.

You all have a GREAT Day and Many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends!

slave_brenda/Brenda

Good Evening to all,

Sometimes i think abouthow AMAMZING! and GOOD my life is at this moment,and the feeling of being loved unconditionally by my Master/Partner,and the security and peace i feel with Him on a daily basis. :-)) I allow Master to do whatever he wishes with me because i TRUST him with my life and i know He would NEVER hurt me in any way, and for one to feel that SAFE and SECURE with a DOMINANT! is something that takes alot of work and honest and open communication. When a sub or slave can feel so SAFE and SECURE to say to his or her OWNER! Master or Mistress i hand my life over to you for i know you will protect me and NEVER allow any real harm to come to me physically,mentally or emotionally.and at that moment when you give up total and complete control of your life because you know your OWNER! will do everything he or she can to protect it and keep it safe,there is no better feeling or satisfaction.

The ultimate surrender is when your life and not yours any longer when you allow another HUMAN BEING! to hold your life in their hands LITERALLY! and feel 100 percent SAFE,SECURE and FREE!! that is the best word to describe it FREE! You have no more fear no more insecurities no more low self esteem no more conflicting thoughts,everything is clarified in that one moment when your life is not your own any longer and i can tell you from experience its BEAUTIFUL!

I remember that night as well as i remember the first night i met Master.When i was physically was able to kneel before Master and hand over my life to Him without hesitation,reservation,doubt or fear was very emotional for me and everything became clear to me my place and who i was and what i always wanted to be.I felt this deep emotional bond with Master that i have not felt with anyone else the pure sense of giving up my control to Him and say MASTER,PLEASE ALLOW ME TO GIVE YOU MY LIFE SO YOU MAY DO WITH IT AS YOU SEE FIT,MOLD ME AND SHAPE ME INTO THE SLAVE YOU ALWAYS WANTED ME TO BE AND TEACH ME TO SERVE YOU AS YOU DESIRE.I WANT NOTHING MORE THEN TO GIVE UP MY CONTROL AND MY LIFE TO YOU FROM THIS DAY FORWARD!! (My exact words) so as of June 13th of 2014 i handed my life over to my OWNER and now i am FREE!! wow!! what a feeling that is :-))

He has NEVER betrayed me or let me down in any way and it was the only decision for me to make because i wanted so desperately to give up my life and 100 percent of my control over to him and it finally happened and I NEVER Looked back. it feels so RIGHT!

I have no regrets,and no doubts.Being my Owners slave is the ULTIMATE SURRENDER for me and one i hold dear to my heart and one that was not taken lightly.I felt the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders and i was set free! It truly is an AMAZING FEELING! and i pray that many of the subs and slaves here have found that same FREEDOM and ULTIMATE SURRENDER! because they know EXACTLY what i am talking about and how i feel.

You all have a lovely night and i wish you all nothing but the best in your life with an abundance of Love,Happiness,Joy and enlightment.today and ALWAYS!

slave_brenda/Brenda! :-))

                Good Day to all,

I changed my mind about Masters christmas gifts,I decided that instead of ordering them online i would actually go out thanksgiving weekend and shop but NOT! BLACK FRIDAY! lol so i canceled all of Masters Gifts from Montgomery ward,i was thinking that it would be more fun for me to go out and shop since it will be my last Hoorah! for a long while,so now i have to rethink what i want to buy Him.one thing i really want to buy him is his EXPENSVE cologne which makes Him smell soooooooo!!! yummmy! every day,and that is easy to find out,i just have to look at his bottle.He is WORTH IT Because i LOOOOVE! to smell him i take a deep breath in hale and savor his sweet aroma from his cologne MMMMMMMMMM!!! DELICIOUS! :-))

I am also thinking of buying him a nice denium jacket,i had one on order until i canceled it so i could actualy go out and shop,plus i have to go out to buy my girls stocking at PETCO! so if i am going out for them i may as well continue my shopping for Master why not i am already out :-)).i may still order a couple of things online but i think for the majority i will go out and shop!! :-)) i have a good idea what i would like to buy so it should not be to bad and Master is not fussy what i buy Him he LOVES! whatever i get him :-)) Actually i take that back he is fussy about his cologne he only buys one kind and i know it is EXPENSIVE because you can tell CHEAP Cologne from EXPENSIVE! and i do not thnk i would like him wearing a CHEAP BRAND of cologne he would not smell as Good! :-)) i will have to get the name so i know EXACTLY what to buy :-))

Master asked me what i wanted since i will be PRIORITY! This year (so he says) lol but i NEVER thnk i am priority He is and i come second but because of my back surgery and the fact i will be laid up for a long while i am PRIORITY this year but i really dont feel that way but Master does so if that is how he thinks and how he wants it to be who am i to disagree and argue with him :-)) Whatever he says is LAW!! In our house so i guess i am priority this year :-)) WOW! i get to be pampered and waited on now that is a change for me but it has to be that way temporarily until i can get back on my feet again and start putting Master above me and my needs :-))

Well Ladies and Gentlemen if you will excuse me i have to get ready and go grocery shopping,I always go early to get it done and before Hannafords becomes to busy! so i bid you all fare well and adue for now.Have a GREAT DAY! Be well happy and safe and i hope you are preparing for THANKSGIVING! Get your TURKEYS! they should be on sale now!! i may buy one and put in the freezer for CHRISTMAS! :-))

                 Enjoy your Day Folks,

                 slave_brenda/Brenda! :-))

I received a message that was of a personal nature but i do not mind answering it because i would be curious myself.

I was asked why at 50 years old i was never married or had any kids? and if wanted to marry Master?

The answer to the first question is because i never met anyone that i loved that much and wanted to start a family with. i had VANILLA BOYFRIENDS but not to many because all my life up until a couple of years ago i was always OVER WEIGHT! so not many guys had any interest in getting to know me and they could not see past my WEIGHT nor did they want to.If i did not look like a SMALL WAISTED BIG TITTED BARBIE! then they were not interested,and when i think back on that today if those men were and most likely still are that SHALLOW then i certainly would not want them as a husband or father to my children.

When i met Master he knew i was over weight at the time before i lost 100 pounds i was 250 pounds and now i am 150 but Master saw me on cam for 12 years and he did not care what i looked liked he was more concerned about my HEALTH then appearance so with his support and help i lost 100 pounds and it is so ironic when i was 250 pounds i NEVER has any health issues per say the only thing i had was high blood pressure and that was being treated but i NEVER had trouble with my back or legs,but i do not want to contribute my weight loss to my current health issues because i do not think that they are connected but it seems ironic when i was over weight i felt GREAT the i lost 100 pounds and now i have a TETHERED SPINAL CORD! go figure lol

now the answer to the second question is YES,YES,AND YES AGAIN!! if Master asked me to marry him tonight i would accept even before he could get WILL YOU!! out of his SEXY MOUTH!! :-)) IN A HEART BEAT I WOULD MARRY HIM! as far as kids are concerned i am 50 and Master is 69 He had his 2 girls and they are grown and married and i could not handle being pregnant now i am happy with my 2 cats/girls who are my kids,but i told Master if i could give birth to a litter of kittens i would be pregnant all the time lololol He just laughed and said THANK GOD YOU CANT HONEY!! lolol ;-)) i would LOVE IT! Master,not so much :-))

I love Master and i am IN Love with him so YES!! I would marry him but we are happy with the living arrangements as they are and we are both happy and content,and you know what they say IF IT ISNT BROKE DONT FIX IT!! :-))What we have works for us just fine,why ruin a good thing :-)) and i do not need a piece of paper to state I LOVE HIM and HE LOVES ME! We say I LOVE YOU to each other daily and nightly and that is enough for us.

So i hope i answered the questions to the members satisfaction and thank you for your question and i did not mind answering it so no worries :-))

Well if you will excuse me i need to start dinner,so you all have a GREAT Night sleep well and have SWEET KINKY DREAMS! :-)) Until tomorrow!!

~slave_brenda/Brenda~

I was having a nice discussion with Master last night and the topic was a POLY BDSM RELATIONSHIP!He expressed his interest in this but me not so much.I am not into a poly household and it is not about JEALOUSY! it is about how i feel about another slave or slaves living in MY Home plus i have 2 cats/girls who are afraid of strangers and hide from them,and i do not want to put that kind of STRESS in their lives because one of my girls is 14 years old and it took her a couple of months to get used to Master living here and my other cat BABY GIRL! was a STRAY! That came to my house a few years ago and i was told by a neighbor that one of my other neighbors were SHOOTING at her but i did not see it or could prove it but i know this NEIGHBOR and i have no use for him and i do not like him because he is a CRUEL MAN and knowing he SHOT at my KID with a GUN! and his intention was to KILL HER! I REALLY F***ING HATE HIM!

Now BABY GIRL is afraid of every little noise and she is very nervous because of what happened plus she was a STRAY! So having a poly household is something i cannot and will not agree upon and Master understands my feelings and He is also PISSED because of what one of my neighbors tried to do.

If i did not have cats/kids (which will never ever happen) because i love animals and will not TOLERATE NOR ACCEPT any type of ABUSE! I will always own a pet,i have all my life and grew up with dogs,cats,i had a rabbit,guna pig hamster and i loved them all,and before Master ever thought of moving in with me i had a family of 5 cats/kids and they all were treated like ROYALITY! They are my life as Master is and NOBODY! will EVER Lay 1 hand on them,yell at them or ABUSE Them in any way because if that ever happened my role as SLAVE goes out the window and i will GO AFTER THAT PERSON AND BEAT THEM!!I

Three things i HATE,WILL NOT TOLERATE NOR ACCEPT and they are as follows..

1) ABUSE ON CHILDREN
2) ABUSE ON WOMEN
3) ABUSE ON POOR DEFENSELESS ANIMALS when all they want is to love you and be your companion!

So you can say ABUSE in general!! but getting back to a POLY Household,NO! if i was alone with no pets and if Master really insisted upon trying a POLY HOUSEHOLD! then of course i would try it if that is what would please Him and make him happy! but under the circumstances now NO! It is not accepable to me and Master RESPECTS MY feelings on this issue.

Some may think OH YOU ARE JUST BEING JEALOUS BECAUSE YOUR MASTER WANTS OTHER FEMALE SLAVES TO LIVE WITH YOU AND HIM AND SERVE HIM AS YOU DO!! Ummm NO!! That statement would be totally FALSE! If i were a JEALOUS Person do you really think i would have stayed with Master for 12 years in a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP! wihtout ever being able to see him because He owned a slave in his REAL LIFE! and who he saw on a regular basis? NO ABSOLUTELY NOT! But i wasnt JEALOUS Master was honest with me from the beginning of our long distance relationship and he told me if i really had issues with the fact He PHYSCIALLY! Owned a SLAVE that i could leave and continue my search for a SINGLE UNATTATCHED MASTER! but i stayed because i felt this connection,attraction and bond with him,so i continued our long distance relationship and He also gave me her name,address and phone number and a picture of her so there was no SECRET About her and i WANTED MASTER so i stayed.

Now that Master is PHYSICALLY living with me i also know he has ONLINE SLAVES who He chats with on a nightly basis,but they are NEVER coming here to visit nor is he ever going to meet them,and again He was HONEST with them and they know about me and our M/s living arrangement and He is not about to leave me for one of them. Am i JEALOUS? No! that is His business and i do not interfere,as long as it does not affect our relationship in any way which Master NEVER ALLOWS it to happen then it is none of my business and i do not pry or ask questions,plus He chats with them when i go to bed,that is HIS Quiet and personal time. We give each other SPACE which is very important.We do ot SMOTHER each other.as long as i ask permission to do something Master allows it and i feel it is important that He and i have our own space and not define ourselves as ONE!! although it is how we both feel about one another we also know we cannot lose who we are as individules so the space we have from each other keeps our M/s relationship healthy and moving in the right direction :-))

WOW!! I guess i typed alot today.lol Master says I AM A MOTOR MOUTH!! LMFAO!!! lolol because i can talk both of his ears off at times and sometimes he just shoves a BALL GAG in my mouth and we both LAUGH!! lolol one way to SHUT ME UP! but there is also something else he can shove in my mouth that will SILENCE ME!! lolol and i think you all know what that is :-)) i really do not need to say it! :-))

You all have A FANTASTIC HUMP DAY! Be well and SAFE! and enjoy your day!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

I had a interesting message sent to me today,i was asked if i wanted to be POPULAR!! Here? umm the answer quite frankly is NO! I am not here to be POPULAR with anyone,i am not here to compete with other members for attention (which i am certainly not seeking in any way,shape or form) because i get all the attention i desire from my Owner and that is enough.

I am not here to gain as many friends as possible and display them like TROPHYS! if a member wants to be my friend i will accept if not that is okay with me as well.I just come here daily to post in my journal and that is basically it. i am not out seeking other memebers for FRIENDSHIP! that seems a little creepy to me just probing here and adding members at random.i am not into that kind of WEIRD ACTIVITY! it is almost like STALKING some one and that to me is scary in itself because i would not want that done to me here or in my REAL LIFE!

The only thing i have said and will continue to say is that everyone is welcomed here,and it does not matter to me who views my profile or reads my journal entries.i do not EXCLUDE anyone regardless of their TITLE so to speak or their status in this lifestyle because i am not looking for anything or anyone,but i will exchange messages with other members as long as RESPECT is shown and if not then i dont bother to reply i just DELETE AND BLOCK! only after i have previewed the message of course, I am so happy that i stumbled across how i can preview a message in my inbox without actually opening it first,so it makes it easier for me to see if the messages being sent by members are worth opening up and reading or just DELETEING and BLOCKING!

The only times i DELETE AND BLOCK! a member is if the messages i receive are NASTY,RUDE,DISRESPECTFUL Or IMPOLITE! other then that i read them and reply accordingly. But getting back to being POPULAR! NO! i am not here for POPULARITY Or COMPETITION I just come here to post in my journal daily and leave and if i have messages i preview them first depending on the member who sent me the message,but if i recognize the The members ID Then i will automatically open the message and read it and reply.i only want to be popular with one Person and that is my OWNER and MASTER and i am doing a pretty good job of that already and have been since june :-)) i am pretty popular with Him and that is more then enough of a healthy EGO for me :-))

You all have a great night sleep well and have sweet kinky dreams and i hope you are preparing for Thanksgiving it's approaching quickly :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good Day To All,

I had an interesting thought,i was thinking about what my life would be like if Master was not a part of it and i mean if i had NEVER Met him.Well,it would be a VERY Lonely exisitance for me and i probably would still be searching for the RIGHT MASTER for me,however if i was still searching i would not be here or any other BDSM Web site i would expand my search out side the CYBER REALM! I would maybe put a personal ad in a paper or try and actually go to a MUNCH on my own and try and meet a SINGLE Master there,and i think i would take that avenue more then placing a personal ad or looking for a MASTER online,but then again if i did go into a YAHELL BDSM CHATROOM!13 years ago i would have NEVER met my OWNER.

On the other hand maybe after all this time without the RIGHT Master for me i might have just GIVEN UP! entirely i mean 13 years is a long time to keep searching for an OWNER! who would be compatable with me,and i probably would still be living alone with my 2 cats/girls and also SUFFERING with my Back probem alone,and going in for surgery ALONE! and i have to admit honestly that if i had NEVER Met my Master today and i was going in for surgery,i would not even consider it because i would have no one to help me when i arrived home or have anyne who would drive me to and from the hospital and no one to care for my wound because i sure as hell cannot reach behind and see what i am doing to clean it and re dress it.So most likely i would not have the surgery if i was alone because i NEED someone here with me when i arrived home to help and if i did not have Master here i would have NOBODY! So i would just keep living on MORPHINE and suffering because i would have no other options.

Since my family have all passed away and i am an ONLY CHILD with no brothers or sisters and the only friend i have is slave_angie in my REAL LIFE at the moment i would have nobody to care for me or help me or take care of my cats/girls because after i come home i cannot drive or lift anything over 5 pounds for a month and if i lived alone i would have to lift and drive,but THANK GOD Master is here with me and we will have slave_angie living with us to help Master until i can resume my DOMESTIC DUTIES! and Master told me last night that He will tend to my wound care not slave_angie,she will just take care of our home and cats/girls for us and Master will take care of me personally since i am his PROPERTY! :-))

I am glad i cannot see my wound or clean it i could not look at it GROSS!! YUKKKKK!! it would make me PUKE! if i had to see it and clean it NO WAY!! NOPE! lol plus i cannot reach behind my back and see what i am dong anyway so Master will care for the wound and keep it clean and re dress it for me :-)) better him then Me lolol i could not STAND to look at it lol

I truly believe things will work out for the best and maybe my recovery will take longer then antisipated but if it does it does i will take how ever long i will need to heal and be well again no matter how long it may be,all i do know is i will be home for THANKSGIVING,CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS! with my little family consisting of MASTER and my 2 PRECIOUS CATS/GIRLS and i will have my lights and decorations out side and inside and it does not get any better then that Ladies and Gentlemen,so all is well and good :-)) God just think maybe in the spring i can actually walk without my crutches and/or walker!! how great will that be? :-))

Anyway... You all have a FANTASTIC DAY! and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends ALWAYS!!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

I was asked if the dynamic of a M/s relationship is different when living with a DOMINANT,well i can only answer that question from my perspective and not in a general sense and i cannot speak for any other M/s couple who are living together but i can give my personal opinion and point of view because i do live in a M/s dynamic but not as EXTREME as it could be due to my back issue.

The M/s live in dynamic for Master and i are somewhat simular to a DOMESTIC VANILLA RELATIONSHIP! in a matter of speaking however there are differences between just a VANILLA DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP and a M/s relationship pertaining to Master and myself.

The differences are as follows for Our living situation..

Unlike the basic VANILLA DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP! Master gives me a list of duties to perform daily and for now there is no time limit on when i have to finish but everything on his list MUST Be completed before i go to bed and it does not matter what it may be.i NEED to finish what he writes on a list daily.

Also unlike a VANILLA EQUAL DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP I have to ask permission to basically do everything NOTHING is FREE or handed to me i must earn everything,for example as i stated in a previous journal entry when Master first moved in with me i was able to sleep on the floor next to him and not allowed on any furniture,but now since my back became worse i have to sit on the furniture and sleep in the same bed as Master but... before i do that i must ask PERMISSION to sleep with him and sit on the furniture.it was a RULE that was established after Master moved in with me and it is what we both wanted and agreed upon and we both enjoy the POWER EXCHANGE in that fashion

I am NEVER To look Master directly in the eyes unless he tells me i can my eyes are lowered at all times out of RESPECT! for him and if i want to talk with him i first must politely approach him and ask him if i may speak FREELY with him as myself.

Another thing i am not able to do without permission and that is to touch Master in any way shape or form SEXUALLY! and if i take it upon myself to think He may enjoy my sexual advances and just do it without his EXPLICIT permission then i am PUNISHED! and punishment can stem from sitting in a corner because i cannot stand in one spot for very long due to my back and legs,so Master tells me to sit in a corner and he blind folds me gags me and ties me to the chair,punishment can also consist of of hard SPANKING with a paddle or maybe a couple of hours locked in the closet depending on the INFRACTION!

I am to bathe Master in a non sexual manner,dry him off,dress him,lay out his clothes for the day.things that a BASIC VANILLA EQUAL PARTNERSHIP does not do because we are not EQUAL! in status i am a mere SLAVE and he is my OWNER! He CONTROLS and DICTATES and I OBEY!

Now there are times when i am not feeling well which is mostly every day due to the morphine i take for pain but i do not use MORPHINE as an excuse to get out of my duties that need to be done,the only difference is i am allowed to sit and rest but EVERYTHING must be complete before i can go to bed.

Another thing that is different with our M/s dynamic is Master makes any and all decisions about EVERYTHING that pertains to me and our relationship i make no decisions concerning us and i like it that way.He takes care of EVERYTHING! He Makes arangements that need to be made unless he request my help,and as far as our finances are concerned Master takes care of the money and i get an allowance of 100.00 a week which is more then enough for me.Master gives me money for groceries,and allows me to use a credit card for special occasions like His BIRTHDAY which was November 7th and CHRISTMAS! and when the bill comes in for any Birthday or Christmas gifts that i charged I tell Him how much the payment is and he gives me the money because i do not want him to se what i purchased for Him

So now you can see and understand how the M/s dynamics works for Master and myself :-)) We both agreed on the way the house would be run when He moved in with Me back in June and He was going to take over and i wanted that.It is what we discussed prior to him moving in with me and something we both wanted as MASTER and SLAVE! and hopefully next year things will be even more of a M/s dynamic when i have healed and feel better,It is what Master and i are STRIVING for and what we both want,but we are not going to RUSH my recovery we are going to take it one day at a time and hopefully every day i will feel better.so by next year at this time i should feel FANTASTIC! and off the DAMN MORPHINE! but we will just have to wait and see how the surgery goes and how quick i can recover :-))

Now you have a better understanding how Master and i live on a daily basis we try to incorporate our M/s dynamic in our daily lives together and i know my limitations of what i can do and how much i can do,and as long as my DUTIES are complete before i go to bed Master is PLEASED! i can usually complete everything on his list by at least 7pm! sometimes sooner :-)) but i usualy do not go past 7pm like tonight the last thing i need to do besides prepare dinner is try and organize our closet space a little more and that will not take me to long to do,so after dinner i will start on that and i should be done within a 1/2 because it is not that messy to begin with ;-))

Speaking of dinner,please excuse me while i need to start preparing it,but now you have some idea how our M/s dynamic works for Master and myself on a daily basis! :-))

You all have a Lovely night,sleep well and have sweet kinky dreams! :-))

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good Day To All,

i want to pass on some comforting words for those members who are suffering from an illness be it physical,mental or emotional,or you know someone who is.

It may seem that the suffering may NEVER end and all you do is STRUGGLE on a daily basis without any resolve,and the more you struggle the worse it seems,but i can tell you from experience just by what i have had to go through this year is eventually things do get better and even if you NEVER think it will as i did many times this year when all Master did was run me around from Doctor to Doctor just to be DISAPPOINTED,FRUSTRATED,AGGRIVATED AND ANGRY! because nothing was getting done.and i thought I will NEVER Get my life back or be fixed and i will have to live this way for the rest of my life meaning Master goes without a SLAVE! when He packed up his life and left it to come here and be with me after 12 years of being apart.

I thought if i cannot perform my duties as HIS slave will he go back to his old life,will he say I am sorry but i cant do this anymore and release me? i had all these thoughts and doubts going through my head,and finally i went to a NEURO-SURGEON that can and will fix me and i know there are not any guarentees it will either work or it wont,but at least i will be better then i am right now. :-))

So i say to all of the members who are suffering in some way or have others who are and you feel helpless to help me,NEVER Give up HOPE! because one day you or your friend/family will go to the right Doctor and He or She fix You/them so you/they can regain their life back and you can as well.When you GIVE UP! as i almost did then you GIVE IN! To what ever is dibilitating you and you let it WIN! and you cannot allow it to WIN! You have to think positive and if anyone knows that it is me because all summer the more i came home from the Doctors with no answers or resolve the more DOUBTS! i had that i will NEVER Get fixed :-((

Master is the one who picked me up and explained to me that i will get better and there will be a surgeun out there who is EXPERIENCED in this field and will be able to fix me and He was right.You see Ladies and Gentlemen I really do not have any friends in my REAL LIFE except for Master until i met slave_angie the slave who will be living with us when i get home from the hospital to take care of the DOMESTIC DUTIES! until i can resume them but up until that point the only person i had was the love of my life MASTER! and i thank God for him daily :-))

So in closing i want to say to any member who is suffering or has a friend or family member who is.STAY POSITIVE,DONT GIVE IN To whatever is DIBILITATING YOU or ALLOW your friend or family member (s) to GIVE IN! Get the support and up lifting inspiration you need to stay positive and if you have NO ONE then send me a message and i will be more then happy to chat with you and if you would like my email address to dicuss things beyond COLLAR SPACE then i will be happy to pass that on to you! i will be your support and your up lifting inspiration because without those 3 elements when you are suffering you will be DEFEATED by what ever is dibilitating you. I also know how it feels to be alone in life because i was alone until Master came to live with me,I was NEVER Married no kids except for my cats my family have all passed away and now i have Master and slave angie in my life so you can understand why i PRAISE Master and put him on a HIGH PEDASTAL! Because He has been here for me even when we were apart for 12 years He was ALWAYS Here when i needed him.

PLEASE Think about everything i have just posted and if you are suffering or hurting or know someone who is remember!
1) GIVE YOUR SUPPORT OR FIND SOMEONE TO GIVE YOU YOURSELF THAT SUPPORT
2) NEVER GIVE IN OR GIVE UP
3) THINK POSATIVE

Thank you for reading this today and i hope i have given you some small inspiration and if you want to contact me feel free to do so and i will reply. :-))

Many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Before Master and i head out for church i once again want to take this opporunity to say THANK YOU! to all the members who have sent me their best wishes,prayers and thoughts for my up and coming Back surgery December 3rd.I appreciate your kind words prayers and thoughts more then you will ever know,and by receiving these messages from other members i am finding out quickly that for as many FAKES,WANNABES,and PLAYERS here there are genuine kind,good people just like myself with a kind heart and soul,and those are the people who i RESPECT and ADMIRE for they are the genuine NO NONSENSE! Down to earth serious people who understand and take this BEAUTIFUL LIFESTYLE to heart and know as i do this is not some FANTASY or SEXUAL GAME! we play,this is who we are and how we live our lives,and with kind people like the members who have wished me well, i know without a DOUBT! they are people i would be PROUD to call my FRIEND! and i mean that sincerely!

THANK YOU,THANK YOU THANK YOU!I am humbled by all of the Love and support i am receiving from other members here and i PROMISE! to give you an update after my surgery when i am home and feel like coming online to give you all an update on my status,and know i will be taking all of your thoughts,good wishes and prayers with me and they will remain with me through all of my recovery!.You are AMAZING! and i am honored to have met you!.

Now if you all will excuse me Master is ready and waiting on me because we dont want to be late for church! as it is one of the important parts of my life as well as you all know by now! :-))

Enjoy your sunday everyone and may God send his many blessings down upon you,your loved ones and friends today and ALWAYS! :-))

slave_brenda or just Brenda!

Good Sunday To All,

You should see how beautiful my porch looks,Master and i was outside yesterday for a couple of hours decorating and it looks AMAZING! The only thing i need to do is get some more lights to finish my liliac tree the lights Master bought only covered the front half so i want to cover the back half :-)))

Thanks to my OWNER i have my nativity set and my Santa and lights He bought EVERYTHING for me.i asked him and of course he said YES! Dear slave i will buy them for you :-)) He is very good to me and treats me well,but i do miss PLAYING with him PHYSICALLY! because i cannot do alot of things but after my surgery and when i fully recover i should be able to PLAY! with Master and serve Him as He DESERVES t be served but i am not going to RUSH I am going to take the time i need to heal properly and listen to the surgeon and do exactly what he tells me to do (just like Master) lol

One activity i like to do is snuggle with Master on the couch and in bed and while He is laying on his side i SPOON with him and hold him tight,His body is so warm i love doing that :-))

When Master first moved in with me in June i was able to serve Master as i always wanted to serve Him until my back and legs began to ache more and i had to stop,I will give you a few examples of what i did and it was way more on the BDSM side of our relationship and i so do miss it :-((

When Master first moved in i started to act as his SLAVE,I did not sit on the furniture without permission,i slept on the floor next to Him with my leash attatched to the bed post,and the only time i could get up is when i had to use the bathroom,I sat on the floor and ate my meals from a dog bowl and sat at Masters feet,Master took me for walks but i either had to use my crutches or walker to do so,but He walked me none the less,and all these activities i CRAVED for 12 years when Master and i had our long distance relationship obviously i could not serve him physially like that so what Master and i did was we both had CAMS and he watched me do whatever he told me to do and i enjoyed that very much but i always felt empty because i NEVER could touch him,kiss him hold him smell him or talk with him face to face but it worked for what we had :-))

After Master moved in then i was able to do all those activities but as i became worse i could not sleep on the floor and i had to sit on the furniture and i had to eat at the table with Master but i could still eat from my dog bowl and i still do and i LOVE IT!! :-)) so as my symtoms became worse all the activities Master and i enjoyed when He first moved in ended but NEXT year when i am completely healed i pray i can get back to those activities we both LOVE and Miss so much :-))

Master is very patient and caring and He will patiently wait for me he just wants me to feel better and he is very worried about me every day although he hides his worry well,i know he is i can tell by the way he looks at me or hesitates some times,i know he is worried about this surgery as i am,but he and i both know i have a VERY Good surgeon and he is proud of me i am taking the risk because i cant live the way i am anymore and i want to get off the DAMN MORPHINE!!! Just cleansingmy body from the MORPHINE will make me a NEW WOMAN alone and that is my goal.GET OFF THE NARCOTIC FOR GOOD!! :-)) That is what i am striving for,but one day at a time. :-)) I am not rushing ANYTHING! i know when i will be able to wean off the morphine :-))

Well Ladies and Gentlemen i am going to sit relax and enjoy my lights outside and my tree inside before i get Master up for church :-)) you all have a GREAT Day stay well and you all have a couple of weeks left before Thanksgiving so i hope you are preparing now :-)) thank GOD i do not have to cook this year yea!!!!!!!! lolol i am just buying a cookie and cupcake tray and bring to Sir_Marks and slave_angies For dinner :-)) and i will actually be able to sit and enjoy the meal with Master and Sir Mark_ slave_sngie will be serving us dinner then she will sit down and eat :-)_) i may ask Sir_Mark and Master if i may wait to eat and sit with slave_angie so she will not have to eat alone and i am sure Sir_Mark and Master will allow it,since she will be moving in with Master and i and staying with us until i am better,she should have some company while having her meal.She is a very sweet intelligent slave and she will be good for our home and she LOVES my cats/girls so she will do fine :-))

Many blessings to You,your loved ones and friends! :-)

slave_brenda/Brenda!

              Good Day To All,

OH MY GOD!! Master and i set up my NATIVITY set and SANTA Outside last night and they are the prettiest displays i have ever owned. They are on my porch and when i look out my window past my christmas tree i can see BABY JESUS,MARY AND JOSEPH! in all their GLORY! :-))

Santa is set up next to the NATIVITY set.and today Master and i are going outside and put our lights up on my porch and my lilac tree and i hung my m lighted wreath on the door,I think i will have to run to K-Mart while Master and putting up my lights and get another surge protector for the extention cords when it is complete i am going to stand back on my lawn and see how BEAUTIFUL! my porch is and smile :-))

When i get home from the hosptial i will be able to enjoy all of my Christmas displays and my chriatmas tree i set up inside,and it does not get any better then that :-)) Masters gifts hopefully will arrive by Thanksgiving weekend then i can wrap them and i will also go to PETCO and buy my cats/girls stocking and put that away. Everything will e done by the time i go  into the hosptial and it will make life easier for me Master and SLAVE ANGIE who will be taking over my DOMESTIC DUTIES until i can resume them myself. :-))

I am also going to buy stocking stuffers for Master as well before i go into the hospital.the more i can do before December 3rd the LESS Master and ANGIE has to do when i get home as far as CHRISTMAS decorating is concerned.plus i want to enjoy everything when i get home,it is so peaceful and tranquil especially with my NATICITY set,i have always wanted one but could NEVER afford it because NATICITY sets are very EXPENSIVE! and you have to buy each piece seperately but now i finally have one and i will slowly add pieces like the 3 wise men the donkey the sheep but for now i have the 3 main pieces BABY JESUS,MARY AND JOSEPH! and i am happy with them and i LOVE Them along with my SANTA! :-))

Well i am going to sit and relax and have some quiet ME Time while i listen to some SMOOTH JAZz on XFINITY! Thanksgiving i will start listening to CHRISTMAS MUSIC on XFINITY! but i really enjoy SMOOTH JAZZ!and i have my Christmas tree lit and my NATIVITY set lit and SANTA ourtside so i can just enjoy them and have some quiet peaceful ME! Time before i get Master up and start the day with Him and my 2 cats/girls are sleeping so i have my little family all inside warm cozy and happy just the way i want it to be :-))

Have a LOVELY Day stay warm,and know God blesses You and watches over you and will NEVER Leave your side.Without JESUS CHRTIST in my Life i would be a lost soul! Looking for the inner peace that only comes from My SAVIOR! and again if this offends anyone or you do not appreciate it when i discuss JESUS CHRIST! Please just move on because i have a very STRONG BELIEF In him but i RESPECT the fact that many do not and it is your choice and believing in him is Mine! :-))

I wish you well,Peace,Love and Happiness in your life ALWAYS!

                slave_brenda/Brenda!

Its the most wonderful time of the year,and its a marshmellow world in the winter :-)) be glad you cant hear me sing lolol :-)) My NATIVITY set and my SANTA arrived yesterday so Master and i are going out Tomorrow when its in the 40s and decorate lolol i cannot wait to see how my porch is going to look when we are all finished it will look BEAUTIFUL!! :-)) I put lights on my wreath and when i go to the dollar store later this morning i am buying a bow and mini christmas bulbs to put on my wreath as well then i can hang it on my door :-))

i am going to tell you a little secret that i do to Master when my hands are cold,i shove them down his pants lololol and its VERY warm where i put my hands :-)) of course i ask permission first i ALWAYS have to ask permission when i want to touch Him SEXUALLY! :-)) Nothing is FREE! Eerything do i EARN! :-)) but when he wants to tease me he says NO BITCH YOU CANNOT TOUCH ME YET!! then i pout and stand in a corner lolol but Master does not give in He stands his ground .me standing in a corner pouting is my way of testing him and his self control.and he alwas saysd YOU CAN STAND IN THE CORNER ALL DAY BUT YOU STILL ARE NOT TOUCHING ME!!!!! and that usually works for me because i know my little tatic did not work and never does so i give up lolol but by doing so i just want him more :-)) HE IS SO DAMN SEXY!! I LOVE HIM SO VERY MUCH!! :-))

Anywho.... I called Sir_Mark and asked Him if i could bring a cookie tray and a cup cake tray over to his house for thanksgiving and he said SURE You candear slave_brenda that would be GREAT! Sir_Mark is a nice Man and DOMINANT! Just like my Master and ANGIE is as fortunate to have Sir_Mark as an OWNER as i am to have my MASTER! :-))

The only left is waiting for Masters Christmas gifts to arrive and going to PETCO and buying my cats/kids stocking then i am FINISHED! but i have to be FINISHED! because after surgery i am not going to be able to go out and shop so buying gifts for Master online is the only convenient way to shop for me and i like it beause i do not have to pay with a credit card it is just low monthly payments and that is even better!!! :-)) it is a GREAT way to re-build my credit up again :-))

I want His gifts all wrapped before i go into the hospital and they will be NO PROBLEM!! :)) Well Ladies and Gentlemen it is time for me to depart i am going to have some ME Time before i start my busy day and Master is still sleeping. so TGIF To all of you enjoy your day stay well and many blessings to you,your loved one and friends ALWAYS!!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good Day To All,

It amamzes me the STUPIDITY and IGNORANCE of some members here,i am trying to understand what makes them that way and i will explain why,and these are the type of messages that i do DELETE and BLOCK! and i know a secret of how i can preview a message without actually opening it.i will tell you how and i do this all the time with messages from others i have never chatted with ,i only preview those who message me for the first time and i do not know who they are or what they might type.

After i explain how to preview a message without actually opening it then i will get back to what i started to discuss.

When you recieve a message from a member you have never chatted with before and you really do not want to open it so they know you read it,just click on their ID in your message box and the message will appear and depending on how long the message is you might have to run your mouse over the ID a few times to read the entire message and if it is from a member who is DISRESPECTFUL,RUDE,NASTY OR ABUSIVE you can just DELETE and BLOCK that member without ever haviing to actually open the message and read it then they think you just DELETED it before reading it.i do it all the time from members who i have NEVER chatted with before and if the message is Okay then i open it completely but if not i just PREVIEW it DELETE and BLOCK for STUPIDITY and IGNORANCE!!

Now on to the message itself, I received a message from a WANNABE and i get them some times,i guess they think i am NEW and NAIVE and do not understand how this lifestyle works so they think i am a good TARGET! But HOW WRONG THEY ARE!! :-))

So anyway.. This IDIOT BLATENLY SAYS I AM YOUR NEW MASTER NOW AND YOU WILL OBEY ME CUNT.YOUR OLD USELESS MASTER CANNOT SATISFY YOU SEXUALLY AS I CAN BECAUSE I HAVE A BIG COCK THAT SLAVE WHORES LIKE YOU CRAVE!!!!

I was so ANGRY when i previewed that message that i SAVED the message so MASTER can read it later He was not worth my time,my words and certainly not my ATTENTION! and of course when i looked up his ID here guess what it said PROFILE NOT FOUND!! REALLY!! They are EVERY WHERE and you cant get rid of them they go around online and just pick at random some sub or slave and think she looks like a EASY TARGET! and it is apparent He NEVER read my profile or he would have known i am not NAIVE or an EASY TARTGET and i live this lifestyle 24/7 365 and have since june.I understand how the M/s dynamics work,I know what is expected of Me and my RESPONSIBILITIES as a LIVE IN SLAVE I know what The RESPONSIBILITIES are of a GOOD,INTELLIGENT EXPERIENCED KNOWLEDABLE Master is.but these IDIOTS! think that every sub or slave they message is NEW,NAIVE and does not understand and that aspect alone makes them STUPID AND IGNORANT He could not DOMINATE my CATS/KIDS much less FEMALE sub or slave in REAL LIFE! WHAT A JOKE! i guess he doesnt have any REAL LIFE and his COMPUTER is his REAL LIFE.

MORONS like him most likely sit at home or wherever he lives and stays online 24/7 365 and PRETENDS to be this GREAT DOMINANT! when in reality He is WORTHLESS I can just imagine what he is like in REAL LIFE! Nobody i would ever want to meet or be friends with but people like him would NEVER meet anyone they just sit behind their computer screens daily because they have NO REAL JOB!! and waste their life away HOW PATHETIC AND SAD!! and there are more of those type of IDIOTS online now then there was 10 years ago,but i do not even respond to them i just preview the messages first and if they are real NASTY like the one i recieved i save it and show Master and He deals with it accordingly!

Just another way for new subs and slaves to spot a FAKE who has no clue what BDSM is about OR what a EXPERIENCED MASTER entails.He is a LOSER with a CAPITAL L!!

Well Ladies and Gentlemen I have to go now and get ready to go grocery shopping soon,i like going early so i can get back before my back and legs begin to SCREAM at me. you all have a LOVELY DAY! Be well and safe and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends.

slave_brenda/Brenda!

I received a message from a female slave and male submissive who practically said the same thing about me give or take a few words but almost the same thing about me and it bothered me quite a bit so i want to clarify any concerns other members may have about me because i do not want others to get the wrong idea or wrong perception of who i am as a person in general.

As i stated i reeived 2 messages 1 from a female slave and 1 from a male submissive who stated they were intimidated by me and was AFRAID to even send me a message because i am not looking for anything not even friends here and they did not know if i would SCREAM at them and tell them to go away or just BLOCK Their messages without reading them.

Hmmm intimidated by ME??? WOW!! that is something i did not expect to hear,but i can assure them both and others that no member has to feel INTIMIDATED by me or AFRAID to send me a message and if they do i will not SCREAM or just BLOCK them without a good reason such as UNWANTED VERBAL ABUSE DISRESPECT toward me and/or my Master or just being NASTY in general but EVERYONE is welcomed here nobody is excluded.

I am not seeking anything because i have all i need as far as an OWNER/MASTER! and i will be friends with anyone if they choose to add me and if not i have no issue with that,but PLEASE! dont ever feel you cant send me a polite message or just stop by and say HELLO! if that is all you want to do,i will reply and NOT BLCOK YOU! I am sorry if i give out that VIBE i really did not think i was doing that,and nobody has to be AFRAID of me,i RESPECT everyone here and will exchange messages with other members infact i enjoy it.

I guess i should have checked off FRIENDS ONLY! in my profile and i see i have not done it so that is probably why other members feel INTIMIDATED and AFRAID to message me and that is my fault i will change that as soon as i post this entry.It never occured to me that i was making other members feel uncomfortable because i am not seeking anything,but i cant lie and check off things that i am not looking for that would be DISHONEST and MIS-LEADING and i am not that type of person here or in my REAL LIFE!.

Please accept my humble apology if i have made any member feel INTIMIDATED and AFRAID to send me messages i can assure you that is not my intentions,I basically just come here to post in my journal daily for anyone who may be interested in reading it but i will NEVER BLOCK anyone unless i have a very good reason for doing so and i always read all messages sent to me and reply accordingly it may not be immediately but i do reply ASAP! :-))

I hope this clarifies and confusion or mis-conception that other members may have about me and i will check off in my profile looking for FRIENDS ONLY! again that was my mistake for not doing that and i apologize for my mistake but i will correct it now :-))

Please know that all members are welcome here and anyone can view my profile and send me messages if you choose to do so and if not that is okay with me as well,but PLEASE NEVEER feel intimidated or AFRAID to send me a message for fear i may SCREAM Or just BLOCK You because i will not do that without a valid reason for doing so.:-))

You all have a FANTASTIC NIGHT sleep well and have sweet dreams and i will return tomorrow and i am glad that the female slave and male submissive brought my mistake to my attention because i never realized it so THANK YOU VERY MUCH! and i will correct it immediately!

Many blessings to you,your loved one and friends ALWAYS!

slave_brenda/Brenda!

Good Day to all,

Master and i did our civic duty yesterday and VOTED!! I havent heard or seen any results yet so i do not know if the state officials i voted for were re-elected yet but i will :-)) I hope you all did your civic duty and voted as well :-))

I checked the status of my NATIVITY Set and my SANTA i ordered for my lawn and they have been SHIPPED!!! So they should arrive hopefully sometime next week then Master and i can start decorating outside i cannto wait :-))

It will be sooo nice when i come home from the hospital sit on my couch and look at my BEAUTIFUL Tree and my lawn displays outside and how pretty my porch will look to others driving by. :-)) i take PRIDE when i decorate and make sure there is not 1 light out on the string and if there is either Master or i will replace it immediately!! i want every single light to work on the strings,but Master bought me new lights for our porch this year and we tested them and they all work!! It makes me smile when people drive by slowly and look at my lawn displays and lights and how pretty they are :-))

I was asked by a MITRESS if i would ever consider being owned by ONE! and the answer is NO! because i am STRAIGHT and not into women i am only interested in MATURE SEXY GENTLEMEN! not WOMEN! of any age,but i do think that a geniune Mistress who truly understands this lifestyle and has REAL LIFE experience and KNOWLEDGE! is as good as a Man/Master and i hold a high RESPECT and regard for Genuine Mistresses and they are BEAUTIFUL,STRONG INTELLIGENT and know what they are doing but as far as OWNERSHIP! or being ATTRACTED to other Women in general NO! I like COCK NOT PUSSY! :-))

Moving right along!! I am thinking about what i want to bring to Sir_Marks for desssert on Thanksgiving.I called his slave and asked her if she was baking any pies and she said YES! so pies are out of the question.i asked Master what He thought i should bring and he said I think you should bring a combination of both cupcakes and cookies! GREAT IDEA!! then i will do just that i will buy both a cup cake tray and cookie tray!! Master can make all the right decisions for me all i have to do is ASK!! :-) HE SO SMART!! lolololol!! yeah i know it was not that funny but i thought it was lololol if i cant have even a small sense of humor then i should not be here.:-))

I was talking with the sweetest slave that sends me messages once in a while and she stated she likes the fact i am always happy and post information that makes her smile :-)) and in return she made me smile for that kind statement. The way i feel about it if i came here daily and just posted NEGATIVE INFORMATION! all the time or felt sorry for myself on a daily basis that would get OLD QUICK! and nobody would read anything i had to type and i would not blame them because i would not read those kind of posts either.Life has its ups and downs and good and bad times but why dwell on just how BAD things are all the time.WE GET THAT! we all have issues and problems in our lives.THATS LIFE!

When i post i like to be POSATIVE and up beat about things and the last thing i want is for other members to say OH POOR SLAVE BRENDA OR BRENDA!! all the time i dont want that.i have Master feeling sorry for me thats enough for me :-)) if i kept posting with a DARK CLOUD hanging over my head and all i did was BITCH and COMPLAIN! how BAD Things are with my surgery coming up then i would not be here i would ask Master if i could DELETE my account because nobody wants to read about MY Problems on a daily basis and i dont blame you one bit because i would not either.

So i always come here and post in the most POSATIVE way on a daily basis whether people read my journal or not but just in case some do i dont want other members to feel sorry for me all the time,not something i am striving for here,I want to talk about the holidays and what Master and i are doing daily or planning to do and while i am SCARED and NERVOUS about my up and coming surgery i know things will work out because of 3 things i have in my life at this moment.

1) JESUS CHRIST
2) A GOOD NEURO_SURGEON
3) THE MOST LOVING AND CARING MASTER EVER! AND ONE THAT IS SEXY AS HELL!! AND ONE I AM TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH!!

I have the 3 main ingrdients for a full and good recovery! plus i will be home for CHRISTMAS! Oh wait i did forget to mention 1 more person SLAVE_ANGIE! Sir_Marks DOMESTIC SLAVE who will be living with Master and i taking over my DOMESTIC DUTIES! so you see Ladies and Gentlemen all the suffering over the past 11 months and counting will soon end and though i may have post-Surgery PAIN! for a while i know that will pass as i heal but after that i will feel like a NEW WOMAN! and that is something to CELEBRATE!!I Thank GOD ALMIGHTY! daily for the many blessings in my life,and especially for MASTER and my 2 CATS/KIDS! They are my LIFE! and everything GOOD in it :-)) and the only thing i have to fear is fear it self. Its all GOOD! :-))

and speaking of good,i better go now and prepare for my busy day and you can see my profile picture has changed to a more traditional thanksgiving one suited for the holiday but it is so true isnt it subs and slaves? :-))

You all have a GREAT HUMP DAY! be well and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends ALWAYS!

slave_brenda/Brenda! :-))

GET OUT AND VOTE TODAY!!

IF YOU DO NOT VOTE YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BITCH ABOUT WHO WAS ELECTED YOU JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT IT!! :-))

Master and i are are heading out in a few hours to VOTE!! and then we can BITCH! if our officials are not elected lolol (not that it will make a difference because they all make promisies until they get elected then never follow through) but tis the way of our society!!

Anywhooo. Today is the last day i am posting pictures from our WALKING DEAD THEMED MUNCH! The young Lady i posted today won 2ND Place for ORINGIANL WALKER COSTUME! and she really looks like a TRUE WALKER for sure!! :-))

Tomorrow i will post a more thanksgiving related picture suited for the up and coming holiday!! OH MY GOD!! our Christmas Tree looks so BEAUTIFUL! it is lit as i type right now!! the prettiest i have ever seen it.and my 2 lawn displays have been shipped,my NATIVITY SET and my SANTA! Yeaaa!!! cant wait until they arrive so i can help Master decorate outside :-)) He had a GREAT idea for the NATIVITY SET He will be placing the set on top of our picnic table to it will set higher and other people driving by can see it and i have 4 wooden beams as part of my porch so Master will put lights around my beams as not to hide the Nativity set and SANTA will be placed on the front lawn,and I am buying s few bows to put on my windows outside and i will also decorate my wreath Master and i purchased with lights and a bow and put that on my door!! our place will look ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL! just what i want when i come home from the hospital! after my surgery! :-))

I also ordered Master his gifts online NICE gifts that cost me over 600.00 but they will be paid for on a monthly payment plan of only 20 dollars a month so 100.00 per month for the really nice gifts i bought Master NOT BAD!! and He will LOVE THEM!!! i wanted to buy Master some nice gifts and i did just that,if you want nice things you have to pay for them but a monthly payment plan makes it EASY! 20.00 a month for each of the 5 gifts i purchased for Master from Mongomery Ward and i want all of them shipped by THANKSGIVING! because i need to get them wrapped before i go into the hospital December 3rd! and over Thanksgiving i will go to PETCO! and buy my DARLINGS their kitty stocking filled with toys :-)) so my shopping is DONE!! I had no choice this year because i will not physically be able to go out and shop and this way all of the gifts will be delivered to my Home SIMPLE,FAST AND EASY! and set up with a payment plan monthly again SIMPLE!! Just the way i like it! no hassle no crowds and i bought what i wanted! :-)) doesnt get any easier then that Ladies and Gentlemen! :-))

Well I better go and take my shower before Master gets up because i still need to lay out his clothes and prepare his breckfast so i need my shower done so He can have his and just a little tid bit before i go,I am to dry Master off completely but not allowed to TOUCH him SEXUALLY! in any way or i will be PUNISHED!! Do you realize how difficult it is for me to dry off my OWNER! and not want to make SEXUAL ADVANCES Toward Him when He is NAKED? It takes alot of self control on my part,but some how i find that self control from deep within and i just focus on drying Him off and not think about His other BODY PARTS! that get me EXCITED! then i dress Him after that and then He puts on His EXPENSIVE COLOGNE!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! i want to DIE!! because He smells mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!! YUMMMMMMY!! and i cannot touch Him SEXUALLY! untill He states i can it is a TEASING GAME He plays with me daily and it just about KILLS ME!! lololol He is so DAMN SEXY AND HOT!!

Okay,i better stop and not go any further i am giving away my secrets lolol so i will leave it here.BUT VOTE,VOTE,VOTE!! TODAY! Make your VOICE be heard!! :-))

Take care of yourselvwes and each other,Many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends!! :-))

slave_brenda!

Good Day to all,

The next picture i posted is one of our guests from our WALKING DEAD THEMED HALLOWEEN PARTY/MUNCH and he LOOKS GREAT! as Rick! He won first prize for BEST ORINGINAL COSTUME and left with 100.00 in cash! :-))

I will post a couple more in the next couple of days then i will remove those picture and start posting some Thanksgiving pictures i will find around the net. I was in such a GREAT Mood yesterday that i set up our Christmas tree and Master and i went to K-mart last night and bought some lights and a wreath for my door that i am going to decorate,and i bought the prettiest lighted angel for the top of the tree.todayi will decorate it.I want everything all finished before i go in for surgery December 3rd so when i come home i will be able to enjoy my christmas lights and decorations.I am EXCITED! even though surgery as i stated yesterday looms in the back of my mind.

I know Master will make my christmas STRESS FREE! and with SLAVE angie here taking over my DOMESTIC RESPONSIBILITIES!i know things will be fine :-)) now i have to look and see online what i can buy Master for Christmas. i want to buy him some nice things because He DESERVES Nice things because He takes EXCELLANT CARE of me on a daily basis! and i know Master will buy me some nice things as well :-))

I am not sure what kind of dessert tray i will bring to Sir_Marks house for Thanksgiving,i am thinking maybe a cookie dessert tray or a cup cake dessert tray i do not know yet. i will think of something good!!.

I have noticed that when i am cheerful and happy Master is too so i have to stay this way so Master does not worry to much about my Surgery even though we both are nervous and scared,but i have faith in JESUS CHRIST And my Surgeon so everything will work out and i will heal and get better,I NEVER lose my FAITH in JESUS CHRIST! Never have NEVER will He is my BEST FRIEND! and i tell Him things i would not even tell Master there are somethings that only GOD knows and the conversations stay between Him and i

Well i need to go now and relax before i start my day and get Master up.He likes to sleep until at least 9am because he stays up later at night then i do He has his computer time then and it does not concern me.He has online slaves and i know about them but i NEVER interfere with hsi online activities.He tells me everything and there is no SECRETS between us i know he has online slaves but it goes no further then ONLINE BDSM! and what i do know is that he is HONEST with his online slaves and tells them there will NEVER be a REAL LIFE Meeting and it is strictly online and they cannot deal with that type of relationship then they are free to move on.He NEVER makes EMPTY PROMISES! to them or leads them to believe He will ever meet them and that is what an HONEST GENUINE DOMINANT does be it Male or Female no lies no deception just 100 percent HONESTY! so nobody gets hurt!! as it should be.

Master allows me to talk with other Dominants Male and female here but that is as far as it goes.I will NEVER Call them email them or ever meet them real life it is STRICTLY! exchanging messages here becaause i am not looking for another MASTER and NEVER will again. Master knows He can trust me so it is not necessary to over see my chats here because he knows i am not and never will do ANYTHING or CHEAT on him with another MALE DOMINANT EVER! :-))

You all have a FANTASTIC DAY! stay warm and be SAFE! Many blessings to you your loved ones and friends ALWAYS!

slave_brenda!

Good Sunday To All,
The next picture i posted to my Profile is 3 more of our guests that attended our WALKING DEAD THEMED HALLOWEEN PARTY/MUNCH! and these guests also won gift cards They look AMAZING!! :-))

Master and i cleaned the hall yesterday and all the tables and chairs are put away ready for the next group to have their party :-)) from my understanding the next group of people arriving at the hall will be for THANKSGIVING DAY!! :-)) and by the time Master and i arrived back home i could not go on any more,i had to ask Him if i may lay down because my back and legs were SCREAMING at me and i was totally EXHAUSTED! so i layed down for 3 hours and when i got up i felt much better

I purchased online a lawn NATIVITY set and a HUGE SANTA! :-)) I LOVE decorating for christmas I have lights on my porch lawn displays a lighted wreath on my door and of course a artificial tree which is beautifully decorated inside,I want everything up before i go in for surgery on December 3rd.I will most likely start decorating Thanksgiving weekend like most people do,and i have always wanted a NATIVITY SET but they are so EXPENSIVE and you have to buy each piece seperately,but i found a set with JESUS,MARY AND JOSEPH for 99.99 and i only pay 7.99 a month and the set takes 3 night light bulbs which i will purchase at the dollar store :-))

Then I purchased a lighted Santa at 49.99 and pay only 5.99 a month and Master will set them up for me when they arrive,so i finally have what i always wanted but never could afford a NATIVITY SET for my Lawn! :-)) I am also going to buy big red pretty bows for my windows outside :-)) and i have 2 elves and little foam decorated christmas trees on my entertainment center :-)) VERY CUTE!! :-)) I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS!! and now the only gifts i need to purchase online for Masters,and Thanksgiving weekend i will go to PETCO and by my 2 cats/kids their stockings :-)) but i have to hide them because once they hear the bells on the toys they want them lolol but i say to them you cant have them until christmas santa told me to tell you lololol I LOVE MY KIDS soooo much and they are as SPOILED as Master is!! and they know it too.they rule our house and Master and i are their SLAVES!! LMFAOOO!!!! lololol well its true you know whatever they want they get :-))

and they LOVE People food they know when it is dinner time and they start meowing and begging like tonight i am having BBQ Chicken and once my kids start to smell the chicken baking in the oven they come around even before its cooked and want some lolol they are CUTE AS HELL!! and i love them to DEATH!! I do not trust just anyone with my kids!! lets just say I am a DAMN GOOD MOTHER! To them and Master will contest to that :-)) and i know it as well :-))

Now i am in the Holiday Spirit even though surgery is looming in the back of my mind but i am still waiting for the holidays to begin and TOM TURKEY DAY is quickly approaching, mmmmmmmmmmm!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! :-)) But you dont want to hear me sing lololol and its a good thing i can only type the words of the songs and not actually sing them lololol i sound like a DIEING COW!! lolol you should hear me sing to my kids LMFAO!!!! You would pay me just to STOP!! I dont know how Master tolerates it but he does lolol but i know deep down He is thinking I NEED TO GAG MY BITCH AND MAKE HER STOP!! lolololol That is too funny!!! :-))

Anywho.... You all have a FANTASTIC DAY! and enjoy your sunday,and make sure you set your clocks back 1 hour if you havent already,Ours is done i did it when i got up this morning!! :-)) Take care of yourselves and each other and many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends!! :-))

slave_brenda!

Good Day To All,

Before i start discussing our AMAZING HALLOWEEN PARTY/MUNCH! i just wanted to say that i posted the first picture of 2 of our guests last night,and the couple won BEST COUPLE WALKERS COSTUMES! :-)) and left with a 50.00 gift card to K-mart :-))

The party was so much fun and all of our guests looked so REAL! as WALKERS and WALKING DEAD CAST MEMBERS! It was very difficult to judge them.it was a BLAST!! and our DJ Kept us ROCKING! all evening long,and you should have seen how much food we had I could feed the whole town of North Clarendon lol all of the 10 pizzas Master bought was gone!! all the dessrts went.We had so much food and it was all DELICIOUS! Everyone had an AWESOME Time and nobody become violant or out of control.

One song our DJ Played was THRILLER By Michael Jackson and about 20 or more guests got up and danced to it almost PERFECT with the video!! they did a GREAT! Job!! Today Master and i have to head back to the hall and clean up. Our party/munch ended around 1AM this morning,and you are probably wandering why i am up so early posting if i did not get home until the early hours this morning! well that is because my body is on a schedule and i have to get up early to take my Meds,I have been getting up anywhere between 4-430 AM since Master moved in with me in June :-)) but Master will allow me to lay down this afternoon if i ask Him permission he knows how early i get up daily and how hard i worked getting this party all together so everyone would have a FANTASTIC TIME! :-))

I admit i am EXHAUSTED! But the hall has to be picked up and cleaned and ready for the next group of people coming in for Thanksgiving! and speaking of Thanksgiving now it is time to start thinking about that,but since Master and i have been invited over to Sir_Marks home all i have to do is buy a dessert tray :-)) and of course SURGERY! is quickly approaching and Master has everything worked out and i am mentally and emotionally prepared for it but i am still SCARED OUT OF MY MIND! But i have one of the BEST surgeons around,Master and GOD ALMIGHTY! to help me through this plus Sir_mark is renting out his DOMESTIC SLAVE angie to live with Master and myself and take over all DOMESTIC DUTIES! until i can resume them myself! so i know everything will be fine,I just want this surgery over so i can come back home with master and my 2 cats/kids and recover and have a nice quiet Christmas with them :-))

The end of November i am ordering all Masters Christmas gifts online because i am not going to be able to PHYSICALLY go out shopping and so it will be done quick,fast and easy and all His gifts will be delievered to our home and i will wrap them :-)) SIMPLE!! Well everyone i am going to rest now before i get Master up in a few hours to start our day and get back over to the hall and start cleaning it up and putting all the tables and chairs away! but our WALKING DEAD THEMED HALOOWEEN PARTY/MUNCH was a HUGE SUCCESS! and everyone had a AWESOME Time and alot left with nice door prizes,gift cards and cash prizes :-))

I will leave this first picture up for today then i will post another one from our halloween party tomorrow and leave that up for 24 hours ETC! Then around thanksgiving it will be time to move on and post a picture representing the Holiday :-)) You all have a GREAT Day and i hope you all had as much fun last night whatever you did as Master and i did :-))

Many blessings to you,your loved ones and friends ALWAYS! :-))

slave_brenda!

F.Y.I Do not forget to set your clocks back 1 hour this weekend.

Good Afternoon All,

I am so excited and cannot wait until tomorrow arrives.I had a couple of guests send me a picture of themselves dressed as WALKERS!! OH MY GOD!! They look AMAZING!! I can tell by the few i saw it is going to be very difficult to judge BEST COSTIUME!! if they all show up looking as good as a couple of people who sent me pictures :-))

Tomorrow morning Master and i will head to the hall and start setting up the tables and chairs and i will most likely be at the hall all day preparing for our WALKERS/GUESTS to arrive :-)) I also cannot wait and see how many are dressed up as RICK,DARYL and the other cast members. Master and i are so looking forward to our halloween party/munch :-)) the doors will open at 4pm tomorrow and our guests will start to arrive so they can pick a table,then at 6pm our DJ will arrive and then the PARTY BEGINS ROCKING!! :-))! and people will eat,drink and try to INFECT the others lolol how cool it will be and they will dance the night away and a few will leave with cash prizes and some will leave with door prizes and some will leave with gift cards. It will be the BEST HALLOWEEN PARTY AROUND NORTH CLARENDON! since our town is small i know it will be the BEST! Around! :-))

Then come saturday Master and i will go back to the hall and start cleaning up and putting away the tables and chairs for the next holiday party gathering there and from what i understand the hall is booked right through new years day :-)) so alot of people are having holiday parties at the town hall :-))

Master and i will be going over to Sir_Marks for thanksgiving so i do not have to cook,i am just bringing a dessert tray and Master wants to bring some SHRIMP mmmmmmmmmmmm!! LOVE IT!!! and wine!! YUKKK!! Not a huge fan of wine to bitter yukk!! lolol plus i cant drink anyway because i take morphine DAMN IT! and my mixed drink of choice is a WHITE RUSSIAN!! But i have not had 1 drink since i started taking morphine for pain which has been months,so Master is going to buy me a special bottle of sparkling grape juice so when Sir_Mark has a toast at least it will look like i have a drink and that is all that matters to me :-))

Then after thanksgiving day on that saturday Master and i are going over to LASALETTE SHRINE (WEATHER PERMITTING) to see the more then 20.000 Christmas lights and go to mass at the little church,and go out to dinner over in west leb New Hampshire and i will pray to god He helps me through my surgery because after Thanksgiving i only have 1 week before my Surgery December 3rd.YES I AM SCARED OUT OF MY MIND!! but i know Master will be right there with me and never leave my side and JESUS CHRIST! will also be with me every step of the way watching over me and my surgery and then recovery :-))

I am happy that SLAVE_ANGIE will be stayign with us until i can recover she will be a god send to Master and myself because i will not be able to do much for 1 month after surgery and i cannot lift anything over 5 pounds for 1 month,I will be doing all of my christmas shopping online prior to my surgery,simple fast and easy because i am not going to be able to get out and shop so i will order all of Masters gifts online this year and have them delivered to our home and i will wrap them :-)) no fuss no crowds.all from the comforts of my home :-)) how easy is that? :-))

You all have a GREAT Day and i will try and stop by tomorrow if i have some free time but if i dont i will on Saturday and post my first picture from our HALLOWEEN PARTY/MUNCH! so if i dont get here tomorrow to post let me say to all of you HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I hope you and your kids (if you have any) have a GREAT Night and for all the adults if you go out STAY SAFE but have FUN! whatever you decide to do,i know i will :-))

Mnay blessings to you and your loved ones ALWAYS!!

slave_brenda!

Just a F.Y.I,

After our WALKING DEAD HALLOWEEN PARTY/MUNCH on friday i will be posting pictures of our guests,and i will ask their permission before doing so because if they say NO! then i will not post the pictures.The only problem that i can see is that they will have to be posted one at a time because i dont see where i can post more then 1 in my profile at a time,but that wont be a problem because i can post one picture leave it a couple of days then post another one. To Bad collar space did not have a section for photo albums like other sites do then i could post more then 1 at a time and post them in a album,but i will make it work,so if anyone wants to view my WALKING DEAD HALLOWEEN PARTY/MUNCH PICTURES then stop by on Saturday and i will start posting pictures at that time. :-)) I wish could invite all of you to attend i know you would have an AWESOME TIME! :-)) Becuae it will ROCK!! :-))

Enjoy the rest of your day everyone!!

slave_brenda!

I had to come back and respond to a very sweet compliment from another Male Dominant.He sent me a message stating that He thinks and i quote You are a very refined slave whom does not just focus on the sexaul aspect of this lifestyle,and as a slave as yourself I am VERY Impressed with your online behavior and attitude,and you tend to stay with REAL LIFE experiences and not on FANTASY! Unquote!

What a very sweet thing to say and i am humbled by that compliment.and for Him to reconize those important facts about me is very observant on His part because i do focus on my real life experiences because it is all i know now since Master moved in with me and for me the SEXUAL ASPECT of this lifestyle is not that important t as it was years ago.all i will say about that is the SEXUAL ASPECT of this lifestyle for Master and myself just enhances our bond between us and strengthens our relationship but it is not the end all or the most important.

For me perosnally i see my slavery as serving Master however he wants on any particular day,however i do have my DOMESTIC DUTIES to perform daily and on a time limit,but that is just normal when you live with your partner,but as far serving in general. I serve how ever Master wants me to and do whatever he tells me to do without question,argument or hesitation.all i say is YES MASTER! and OBEY! But since i have been SUFFERING with a TETHERED SPINAL CORD for going on 11 months and counting it has been more then difficult most days to perform my DOMESTIC DUTIES on Masters STRICT TIME LIMIT so Master has done away with TIME LIMITS for now until i have fully recovered from surgery and can perform my daily duties in a timely manner once again.

I have to sit more because my BACK and legs ache alot and Master does not PUNISH Me for sitting down and resting because I HAVE too and sometimes the morphine pills i take does not begin to work for 3 hours! but since i take 1 and 1/2 in the morning and 1 and 1/2 in the afternoon for PAIN! i REFUSE to take anymore because i have been on morphine for many months now and had to increase it for my PAIN LEVEL! and the more i take the more difficult it will be to slowly come off it but that is my goal after surgery to get off the morphine entirely! but i do not know if that will happen but if i can even get down to taking it just on BAD PAIN DAYS! that i feel i will have for the rest of my life i can deal with that instead of 3 daily every day :-))

But getting back to what the Kind Male Dominant said.SERVING Master is something i do not think about i just do it.whatever it may be.All He has to do is give me an order/command and i do it to the best of my abilities and He allows me to take as long as necessary to complete a task/duty :-))

Thank You Kind Sir for your compliment i do appreciate it and i am humbled by it and thank you for stopping by,you are always welcomed here as evdryone else is as well.May God bless you kind Sir,your loved ones and your sub or slave (if you own one at this time) :-))

slave_brenda!

Good day to all,

Master and i were discussing our halloween party last night and He told me that He added a couple more PRIZES to the cash prizes and door prizes. He purchased a few gift cards from different stores at 50.00 each and the GIFT CARDS will be for BEST COUPLE COSTUMES! I thought that was a GREAT Idea,and He will JUDGE The BEST WALKING DEAD COUPLE COSTUMES! and they will win a 50.00 gift card :-))

Master has spent ALOT Of His own money on this WALKING DEAD THEMED HALLOWEEN PARTY/MUNCH. He is paying for the first 5 drinks from the open bar and depending on what they purchase Master could be spending ALOT Of money on 5 drinks a piece for 130 people.Our guests will receive a coupon book when they enter and since i am the door greeter I will hand them their coupon books with 5 coupons for drinks and if they want more then five drinks throughout the night they pay for their drinks themselves and the Bar tender already is aware of this fact.

Plus Master is paying out of his own pocket all the prize money and paid for the gift cards Himself.I did not ask how much all together because it is none of my business really,but i do know that what Master has paid out or will pay out will be over the 1000.00 dollar price tag because you figure 130 people will receive their firt 5 drinks for FREE! and everyone knows MIXED DRINKS depending on what you get is EXPENSIVE! so the ALCOHOL TAB! will be well over 500.00 alone oh i also forgot to mention Master paid for our halloween costumes as well and lets not forget the DJ! Master has to pay him.He is not DJING for FREE!

Master NEVER says anything about the MONEY! he is happy to do this for our Party/Munch and i ADMIRE Him even more then i do.and RESPECT! Him more then i do at this moment.Master may be a SADIST! at heart but He is one of the most Kind Generous caring Man/Master i have ever had the pleasure of meeting and Serving.He RESPECTS Everyone regardless of their sexual preferences,their social status in the community their TITLE in the BDSM Community and He is always the first one to help someone or give good reliable solid advice! He has a good sence of self worth,and a healthy EGO! He is a confidant Man/Master STRONG! but has a Kind gentle BEAUTIFUL HEART! which belongs to ONLY ME! :-))

I could go on and on about all his attributes and what attracts me to Him on a daily basis but i think you get the idea of what type of MAN/MASTER he is.He NEVER Portreys Himself as this SELF CENTERED BEAT HIS CHEST I AM THE MASTER AND EVERYONE WILL OBEY ME!!!! No,He has nothing to prove and is a quiet Man who keeps to Himself and does not FLAUNT HIS DOMINSNACE! why should he? He knows his abilitires and capabilities as a MASTER and OWNER! and he knows the only one He gives orders to is ME and ME alone.He does not think He is GODS GIFT TO ALL SLAVES! He is humble and modest.

So in closing this morning i want to say YES! I do BRAG How WONDERFUL MY master is and i do put Him on a PEDASTAL why? because I Love him and want to share what type of MASTER he really is but in no way am i trying to SELL! Him on any other slave why would i do that? He is MINE! and i have no intentions of SHARING Him with any other slave! not after 12 years of a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP! and not ever seeing him! HELL NO! I am not sharing now that He is finally living with me! NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!! lolol

Anywho... You all have a FANTASTIC DAY! and stay well and SAFE ALWAYS! :-))

slave_brenda!

I just arrived home from decorating the hall for our WALKING DEAD THEMED HALLOWEEN PARTY! and Master walked in and said it looked AMAZING! I really out did myself with the decorations.I have all kinds of spider webs hanging down from the ceiling with Rubber spiders in the webs I have glow in the dark witches hanging on the walls I have R.I.P plastic head stones in every corner of the hall I have rubber hands and feet hanging in the windows,I have a werewolf hanging on the front door,I also have some glow in the dark skeletons hanging on the DJS PLAT FORM! It really looks GREAT! :-)) I did not do anything to the floor per say because everyone will be dancing so i kept the floor clear of any decorations but everything inside i decorated. :-))

Now the last thing to be done is just setting up the tables and chairs and Master and i will do that friday morning and i will have cool hslloween table cloths and center pieces on each table except for the food table,i will just have a halloween table cloth.it is shaping up nicely,now i am just going to sit and relax because my back and legs are aching and i need to take my morphine and just let it work,but i know this PAIN! will end at least i pray it will after my surgery December 3rd but no matter how i feel if something needs to be done i do it i may pay for it later but at least i can accomplish the tasks Master gives to me to the best of my ability!

I will return tomorrow everyone,i need to take my morphine pills sit and relax i hope you all have a GREAT Afternoon and night. :-))

slave_brenda!

Good Day to all,

I purchased all of the halloween decorations and door prizes for our WALKING DEAD THEMED HALLOWEEN PARTY/MUNCH yesterday,most of th door prizes were items for CHRISTMAS The dollar store had BEAUTIFUL! Christmas ornaments for the christmas tree and other beautiful items and i also purchased some thanksgiving items for door prizes as well like center pieces for the table and thanksgiving table cloths ETC,Master approved of everything i purchased and i also purchased items to make up our costumes and i went to the PARTY STORE and found make up and other items Master and i can use to make Me look like a walker and Master will go as BAD ASS DARYL! :-))

Today i am going to the hall Master rented and start decorating and putting together the door prizes then on halloween which is friday Master and i will head back to the hall in the morning and start setting up the tables and chairs with a seperate table for the food. Master has also decided to call a very good local italian restaurant and order around 10 pizzas and Master will pick them up friday so we will have pizza along with all the other food the our guests will bring and the DJ will arrive around 6pm on friday evening,while the doors will open at 4PM! so our guests can come and find a table to sit at. We have 130 people atending our Halloween party/munch and all of our guests will arrive in WALKING DEAD COSTUMES and the BEST COSTUME and most ORINGINAL will receive a CASH PRIZE! the whole night will be FUN for all and Master and i cannot wait :-))

This is for ADULTS ONLY! and we made sure we specified that on the invitations we sent because there will be alcohol served so this is STRICTLY an ADULT Party. Master has hired security to be there in case one our guests gets out of control but Master and i do not for see that happening but if it does we have security standing by just as a safety precaution.

EVERONE is going to have a GREAT Time singing,dancing and eating lol and raffle tickets will be passed out for the door prizes in which i will announce through out the night,Master will announce the winners for BEST and ORINGINAL COSTUMES and present the winners with a CASH PRIZE!
1ST PRIZE is 100.00

2ND PRIZE is 75.00

3RD PRIZE is 50.00

I will be taking alot of pictures that night and requesting a few songs for Master so we can dance.and they will be SLOW songs so i can hold Master close and smell how good he is :-)) He is a GREAT Dancer and i love holding Him close to my body :-)) but all of our guests can request songs for the DJ to play fast or slow :-)) It will be a FANTASTIC HALLOWEEN PARTY/MUNCH and by the time our party is over everyone will leave happy,tired stuffed with food and smiling and 3 will leave with cash and some will leave with door prizes :-)) it will be a GREAT TIME FOR ALL! :-))

Have a GREAT Day everyone,stay well and SAFE and many blessings to you and your loved ones!

slave_brenda!

I just received a maessage from a female slave who has bMeen reading my journal entries and wanted to comment on my relationship with my Master because she herself is involved in a LONG DISTANCE relationship with her MISTRESS and has been for 6 years now and like Master and myself for 12 years prior to him moving in with me have NEVER met and my story has inspired her and i knew there were more couples who are having LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS and are making it work.

The slave told me that she loves her MISTRESS as i Love my master and her Mistress loves her in return,and due to personal reasons and circumstances they have not had the opportunity to meet but is praying that one day they will,and i will pray it happens for both of them because i know first hand from 12 years of living apart from my Master how difficult it was every single day and night and what a struggle it was to keep motivated and REALISTIC about what would happen.

The slave also stated that like Master and myself they have built a SOLID M/s relationship one that is built on HONESTY and TRUST! and continual honest communication and all of those factors are very important to make a long distance relationship work.

I know how this slave feels deep down inside,the lonliness,and WANTING the CRAVING and DOUBTS that creep up whether it is worth it,and i told her not to give in to those NEGATIVE Feelings whenever i was feeling all of those emotions i called MASTER immediately and discussed my feelings with him and He just allowed me to express what i was feeling let me cry to him and just knowing i could call him day or night without restrictions was a comfort to me and by him always being there for me i knew without a doubt that i wanted Him and our M/s long distance relationship to work.

I am PROUD and say KUDOS! to the slave and her MISTRESS! i know they will work through any fears,lonliness,doubts and insecurities they may have and if their RELATIONSHIP! is built on TRUST,HONESTY and OPEN COMMUNICATION! it will be successful as mine was with my Master for 12 years. To hear simular stories like mine and know they are making it work although not easy but nothing in your life that is worth waiting for or wanting is ever EASY! in the end all of those NEGATIVE FEELINGS go away and you know it was all worth the WAIT!because it was for Master and myself now that we are living together. :-))

So i say to the female slave and her MISTRESS! i wish you nothing but the BEST Of luck,keep up what you both are doing and making your LONG DISTANCE RELATINSHIP! as successful as mine was with my Master and i will pray to GOD He will one day bring you Both together and you will experience the joy and happiness that Master and i did when He finally moved to North Clarendon,Vermont and in with me. :-)) I wish you both Love,peace,and happiness and the happiest of the holiday seaeson that is quickly approaching and if i could i would shake both your hands and say GOOD JOB!!God Bless you both and continued success with your Long Distance M/s relationship!.:-))

slave_brenda!

Good Day to all,

The final talley for our WALKING DEAD THEMED PARTY/MUNCH is 130 people.It will be AWESOME!! I am heading over to the hall later today and start decorating,I am getting all my decorations and door prizes from the dollar store.Master is goimg to give me 500.00 dollars and since i am shopping at the dollar store i can buy ALOT! of halloween decorations and door prizes,however that money will also going toward our costumes that i will also purchase,I am going as a WALKER Master is going as DARYL! THE BAD ASS Of the Group :-)) He has a cross bow as Daryl carries in the series.

I am really excited about the Party/munch. I hung out with Sir_Marks slave on saturday to get to know her bettr before my surgery December 3rd since she will be living with Master and myself taking over my DOMESTIC RESPONSIBILITIES until i can resume them myself and slave_angie who is just known as SLAVE! Per Orders by her Master Sir_Mark she will work out just fine.She is very intelligent funny and i like her very much she and i will become good friends. She told me she is also coming to our halloween party/Munch as a WALKER and Sir_Mark is coming as RICK! :-))

Master is happy i made a new friend and He said after i recover from my surgery i will be allowed to hang out with slave_angie and she will be allowed to hang out with me.She loves animals as i do and will treat my KIDS with all the love and attention that i give them,I will still be able to love them and talk to them when i come home from the hopital but i will not be able to change their litter boxes because i cannot lift anything over 5 pounds for 1 month and i cannot drive for a month as well this is why Master has rented SLAVE_ANGIE who is a EXPEREINCED DOMESTIC SLAVE! to take over the Domestic responsibilities! Master is also happy with her.

On thanksgiving Master and i are invited over to Sir_Marks house for dinner so i do not have to cook :-) however i asked Sir_Mark if i could bring a dessert and he said ABSOLUTELY if my Master says it is okay and it is with Him :-)) i would not feel right if i did not bring some type of dessert with me,i am just not sure what i will buy yet but i have time to think about it,first is our HALLOWEEN BASH! then i will start thinking about THANKSGIVING! :-)) I know Master will make CHRISTMAS BEAUTIFUL for me hopefully by then i will be able to be up moving around because it will be about 3 weeks after my surgery :-)) but i am not rushing my recovery Master will not allow it :-))

I LOVE HIM! so very much He is the SEXIEST MAN/MASTER ALIVE TO ME! and i do not mean his BODY! He is SEXY! as a Person in general inside and out. For a MAN He is a BEAUTIFUL PERSON! He is so CARING,LOVING SADISTIC FIRM FAIR! and i could go on and on.He is PERFECT to Me and FOR ME! and i want no other MASTER EVER!! snd i have no intentions of ever seeking another Master especially after mine passes away,I will be going back to my VANILLA LIFE! Never again being a SLAVE! to any MASTER! and i will wear my MASTERS collar for the rest of my life because He owns me in death as well as here on earth when i say FOREVER! I MEAN FOREVER! Master is the LOVE of my Life,my Soulmate,my Partner my Lover and most importantly my MASTER/OWNER! :-))

You all have a GREAT Day,Many blessings to You and your Loved ones and i hope EVERYONE has a HAPPY HALLOWEEN! and go PARTY! I know i will!! :-))

slave_brenda!

Good Sunday to All,
i received a message from a female slave who stated that Master and i could not have possibly had a 12 year LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP! without ever seeing one another and that i was a LIAR! Really? that is odd because how would anyone know that? was this female slave living with Master or myself for 12 years? did she read every email and listen to every phone conversation that Master and i had? does she know us persoanlly in REAL LIFE? and the answers to all those questions is NO!

Master and i know what we had for 12 years and we are living proof that long distance relationships can be successful,and if it wasnt Master now would not be living with me in my home,I am sorry if no one belives me or not but it really is none of nobodys business anyway.Master and i should not have to JUSTIFY our relatiuonship to ANYONE! online or in real life! and i usualy dont. Master and i know what we had for 12 years prior to Him leaving his old life behind to come to Vermont and move in with me and unless someone actually witnessed what we had they do not know and never will know.I cant FORCE You to believe me or not if you do you do if not then you dont and it really does not matter to me.

Master and i worked hard to keep a long distance relationship successful every day or 12 years and it was not an easy task but because we loved each other and we knew that we wanted each other we strived every single day to make it work and it was the hardest thing Master and i ever did because we NEVER did meet one another but always had HOPE that one day we would and by the Grace of GOD ALMIGHTY! He made it happen June of this year,we are finally together and all those years apart was worth every tear i cried all the lonliness Master and i felt but i knew He owned a slave for many years and NEVER LIED about that fact and He NEVER Made me EMPTY PROMISES or said I AM GOING TO RELEASE HER AND BE WITH YOU! because if he did that and then nothing happened our relationship would have ended years ago but He was honest with me froim the beginning about her and i was okay with it.

He owned her for 20 years and NO! they were not married it was STRICTLY a M/s relationship but toward the end Master wanted more out of his 20 year M/s relationship with his slave but she wanted it to stay the way it was with no emotonal attatchment but Master wanted a emotonal attatchment with her,so they grew apart because they wanted different things from the relationship and if they stayed connected in that M/s relationship it would have ended bitterly so after a 20 year M/s relationship with his slave that he saw on a regular basis they mutually decided it was time to part ways so Master released her and they parted as friends.

So June of this year Master left his old life packed up his belongings and Moved up here to Vermont to live with me because He knew i wanted what He so desperately wanted from a slave at this point in his life and i was ready to give him what he wanted and he knew how much i LOVED him and was IN Love with him and now we live together and are happier then we thought we ever could be.all of those years apart brought us closer together now that we live with one another,and i love him more today then i did 12 years ago,and if i could go back in time and do it all over again i would in a HEART BEAT! i have no REGRETS!

So if anyone else thinks i am a LIAR and that Master and i could not have had a 12 year LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP without ever seeing one another not even once that is something you need to work on because nobody here online who i have NEVER met in REAL LIFE! or Master for that matter would know what we had unless they were here or knew us personally which nobody here does but you have a right to your opinion,but Master and i know the TRUTH! and that is all that matters to us,now we live together and are living out our lives the way we discussed many days and nights for 12 years! so if you dont believe me you dont all i can say is OH WELL! Because i know the TRUTH! and there is really nothing more to discuss about this issue. it is DEAD! nothing more needs to be said.

slave_brenda!

I want to share the lyrics to a song i will be dedicating to Master at our Halloween Party/Munch,One by BRYAN ADAMS.

         EVERYTHING I DO I DO IT FOR YOU!

Look into my eyes,you will see what you mean to me,Search your heart,search your soul and when you find me there youll search no more.

Dont tell me its not worth tryin for,cant tell me its not worth dying for,You know its true,Everything i do i do it for you.

Look into your heart,you will find theres nothing there to hide,take me as i am,take my life,i would give it all,i would sacrifice.

Dont tell me its not worth fightin for,i cant help it theres nothing i want more,you know its true,everything i do i do it for you.

Theres no love like your love,and no other could give more love,theres no where unless youre there. All the time all the way.

Look into my heart baby,oh you cant tell me its not worth tryin for,i cant help it theres nothing i want more.

I would fight for you,id lie for you,walk the wire for you,id die for you

Everything i do darling,you will see its true you will see its true

Search your heart and your soul,you cant tell its not worth dyin for,ill be there,id walk the fire for you,id die for you,oh yeah,im going all the time all the way.

              Dedicated to my MASTER!

                slave_brenda!

Good Saturday To All,

Today at 5pm Master any i willnot be accepting anymore replies to our WALKING DEAD HALLOWEEN PARTY/MUNCH! and if we do we will have to politely refuse them because Master and i need to start thinking about how many tables and chairs we will need for everyone and since we will have a DJ we also need room for our guests to dance,even though the hall Master rented can accomadate 200 people we do not want 200 people because there will not be eough room for dancing and all of our guests will just have to sit and what good is a DJ if our guests cannot get up and do the MONSTER MASH! lolol so far we have 120 people attending and i personally think that is plenty but we have to wait until 5pm this evening it is only fair then next week i will start decorating the hall and then next friday morning Master and i will set up the tables and charis.

Our party/munch will begin at 4pm but the DJ will not arrive until 6pm and that is when most of our guests will be there then the FUN can begin :-))

Master has planned this Halloween party/munch in my honor so i will get a formal mention which will be a little ackward for me because even though i am used to being praised by my Master i am not used to a room for of people sharing his Opinion but it will be a humbling experience and i will be grateful for it.

I NEVER though that the day would come when Master and i would actually be living together i always thought we would continue to have a long distance relationship without ever meeting after all it was for 12 years and even though i missed him and felt a deep lonliness without him in those 12 years,it really did not matter to me because I LOVED Him and was IN Love with Him and He LOVED me/It might be difficult for some to believe that Master and i LOVED one another when we NEVER Met for 12 long years but i can assure you we did.

Master and i built a TRUST between us a foundation for our relationship to grow and flourish regardless of the distance and the key to our successful long distance relationship was HONESTY! and Master kept our relationship as REAL! as if we were physically together,and i NEVER even thought of CHEATING on him or ending the relationship because i knew deep in my SOUL He was the ONE for me,and i would remain FAITHFUL FOREVER!Not once did i ever regret meeting him on that night in a YAHELL CHATROOM! it was DESTINY! and GODS WILL! we met and if Master and i still had a long distance relationship nothing would change for me.

We have a BOND and a DEEP connection emotionally,mentally and spiritually and i could not receive from another MASTER and would never try.Master and i invested our lives into this M/s relationship our time and when we work that hard to keep a long distance relationship alive and exciting for 12 years there is no way i would ever consider leaving and now Master is here with me physically and i can see him.talk to him.touch him and love him it was worth the wait. :-))

This little FYI is for anyone who lives near or around me locally ( if there is anyone here who lives locally) Tonight if you did not know is the HALLOWEEN PARADE in Rutland at 6:45pm so if you want to take your kids they are having the parade a week early from halloween.Master and i are going to stay home where it is warm and watch the parade on channel 15 tonight,because He and i cannot afford to become SICK! with my surgery coming up December 3rd,but i wanted to pass on this information to the people who may live near and around me if you already did not know.

The HALLOWEEN PARADE DOWN TOWN RUTLAND TONIGHT BEGINNING AT 6:45 PM OR YOU CAN WATCH THE PARADE LIVE ON CHANNEL 15 AT THE SAME TIME TONIGHT. :-)) If you do stay home and watch it on TV Have your popcorn balls prepared and ready! :-))

You all have a FANTASTIC DAY! Stay well and SAFE!

slave_brenda!

I want to personally take this oppotunity to say THANK YOU! to all the people who sent me kind messages wishing me well with my up and coming back surgery December 3rd :-)) One kind Sir sent me a message that struck home becaause He himself had back surgery and gave me some really good advice and He knows what i am going through and i really appreciate His comforting story He shared with me and He was Kind and Polite as a DOMINANT! should be and i will heed his advice, because i told my MASTER how scared i am REALLY REALLY SCARED! and because of that fear i cannot sleep in our bed because i have ANXIETY ATTACKS about my surgery but Master understands and comforts me when all i do is cry over this He holds me and cuddles me and says I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART and you will be okay,I will right there with you from start to finish and i will not leave your side,and GOD will also take good care of you!.I hug Master tight like this {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS YOU MASTER}}}}}}}}}}}}} and says I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MASTER! and i am so happy you are with me.

This is why we are having a AWESOME WALKING DEAD THEMED PARTY/MUNCH! to just allow me to relax and forget the up and coming surgery and just have fun and i sure will INDEED! :-)) Tomorrow is the dead line for guests to reply and so far 100 people will be attending our Halloween party FUN,FUN,FUN! :-))

But enough about me this post is about all the good,kind supportive members that sent me well wishes and supportit really means alot to me,and it is comforting to read such kind words.i do appreciate all of them and Master does as well. :-))

So in return for all your kindness and support I send you many blessings from heaven above to you and your loved ones and i wish you all the VERY Best this lifestyle has to offer and i pray you all have a WONDERFUL Holiday Seaeson this year. and i hope Santa wil be good to each and every one of you :-))

                God Bless You All!

                  slave_brenda!

I am so glad i just received this message because now i can share with all the new subs/slaves who may not know how to spot a FAKE/WANNABE/PLAYER! well dear subs/slaves here is the PERFECT EXAMPLE OF ONE!! and He really thought i was a NEWBIE and was naive and did not understand this lifestyle HA!! lets just say he wont ever message me again.

I receive this message by this SELF PROCLAIMED SADIST! All he said was BITCH NOW YOU MET YOUR NEW MASTER AND IT IS TIME TO SERVE ME CUNT!!! hahahahaha!! OH MY GOD!! I thought i would fall over Laughing my ass off!!

I said,do you really think i am that STUPID! and NAIVE! to believe your SHIT you are throwing at me,you messaged the WRONG SLAVE!! hahahahaha! and i laughed at him which made Him SO ANGRY! He proceeded to say that MY Master told him that he was going to sell me to this SADIST!! I said REALLY? you know my Master in REAL LIFE? He said YES CUNT I DO!! I said okay,if you know him in REAL LIFE! what is his NAME!! and i mean his REAL Name and what does he look like?if you know him as you claim to know Him then tell me his REAL Name and what he looks like?!

All this MORON could say was SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH I DONT HAVE TO TELL YOU ANYTHING!! I said well you told me you know him in REAL LIFE! so you should know his name and what he looks like? so tell me? and if you are correct then maybe i will believe you! He said FUCK YOU!! YOU ARE NOT A REAL SLAVE AND NOW I CHANGED MY MIND I DONT WANT TO OWN YOU!! GO FUCK YOURSELF!! i just laughed and said I THOUGHT SO!!

Then i told him NEVER To message me again because i have no RESPECT for FAKES like him and if he ever did message me again i would BLOCK HIM! I told him i want nothing to do with FAKES like him who gives GENUINE MASTERS a bad REPUTATION! and i also told him HE DISGUSTS! ME to go around online praying on vulnerable inexpereinced subs and slaves who are trying to find a GENUINE MASTER! and instead they find YOU! who makes an ASS out of yourself hiding behind your computer screen and really has no clue what being a GENUINE MASTER! consists of!!! I told him i have better things to do then entertain his STUPIDITY AND IGNORANCE! then i sent the message and he NEVER replied!

Take this as a warning signs dear subs and slaves!! This guy is no more a MASTER then I am a MISTRESS!! if a self proclaimed DOMINANT Male or Female sends you messages like the one i received then you know they are FAKE! and if i were you dear subs and slaves dont even acknowledge him just DELETE AND BLOCK HIM! and have a good laugh at his expense in the process because FAKES Like him are AMUSING! because they make ASSES out of themselves! There are many like him around i am sorry to say they are everywhere but if you do not know what to look for you may think he is genuine when he is NOTHING AT ALL! I hope my posts helps You get an idea what a FAKE,WANNABE/PLAYER really is!!

slave_brenda!

Hello Everyone,
Sir_Mark called my Master and asked him if he would allow me to spend some time with his slave (the one who will be our DOMESTIC SLAVE) when i get home from the hospital. Sir_Mark thought it would be a good idea if his slave and myself get to know one another before she moves in with us Temporarily until i can resume my DOMESTIC duties :-)) Master agreed so Sir_Mark will drive his slave over on Saturday and Master has permitted me to spend the day with slave_angie,and He has also relieved me of my duties on Saturday.I think it is a good idea because i really do not have any other slave friends to hang out with and it would be nice to have a friend :-)) Sir_Mark and his slave will be attending our WALKING DEAD THEMED MUNCH/PARTY! :-))

Master has encouraged me to make friends outside our own life together but since i do not get out much because of my TETHERED SPINAL CORD! it is very difficult to make friends be VANILLA or LIFESTYLE friends! so this will be a great opportunity to make a new friend and Master said He will give me money in case angie and i want to go out.He said he will give me 200.00 for saturday and i am sure Sir_Mark will give his slave money as well and if he doesnt i have plenty for both of us for saturday :-)) so i am looking forward to the visit with angie,but i am not permitted to address her as ANGIE i am only permitted PER Sir-Marks direct order to address angie as SLAVE!only because that is what she is called by Sir_Mark and his circle of friends so i will be no different and i RESPECT Sir_Mark and his orders pertaining to his slave.

Master said Marks slave can address me as slave brenda.I am looking forward to having a friend,and i think that is the real reason for this visit.I think Master and Sir_Merk came up with that idea myself lol but who am i to question the DOMINANTS especially my MASTER i NEVER question,argue,second guess Masters decisions,orders/commands or choices he makes because i TRUST him with my life and know he is doing the BEST for me and my well being.all i say is THANK YOU MASTER and YES MASTER! because i do trust His decisions and choices he makes :-)) and i am very comfortable with whatever Master says and i OBEY! without hesitation.

Well,I have to go and finish my chores before Master arrives home He stepped out for a while and will return soon,You all have a FANTASTIC AFTERNOON and evening.I hope the rest of your day goes well and fast :-))

slave_brenda

I just received a message worth responding in public,i was asked by a female slave if Master has set boundries with me since moving in with me in June of this year,and that is a EXCELLANT question and the answer is YES! he has.

The boundries Master has set for me are as follows..
1) I am NOT to lent out to other DOMINANTS Male or Female for SEXUAL ACTIVITIES! and to other Dominants Male or Female unless he knows them well and then I will be lent out for DOMESTIC SERVICES ONLY!
2)Other DOMINANTS may VERBAL HUMILIATE ME but NOT PHYICALLY Touch Me in any way They are allowed to laugh at me call me names such as BITCH,UGLY OLD WHORE ETC But NEVER Touch Me or offer me money for services.
3)When i am in a playful mood,i may ANNOY Master to a certain extent but when He says ENOUGH that means ENOUGH! and i immediately STOP! being playful and become SERIOUS QUICKLY!
3) All physical play is posponed and put on hold for me because of my up and coming back surgery December 3rd although i may BEG for play all i want Master will get the pleasure of telling NO SLAVE NO PLAY UNTIL AFTER YOU HAVE FULLY RECOVERED! but please continue BEGGING ME YOU BITCH! He knows how much HUMILIATION gets my juices flowing so to speak :-)) I LOVE IT!! and GET OFF ON VERBAL,MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HUMILIATION!
4)Other DOMINANTS Male and Female are allowed to walk me in the summer months but i am not to crawl on all fours due to my knees,and NO Dominant will FORCE Me on all fours when walking.I stand up right on 2 legs and walk quietly behind them and they are to bring me back Home when Master states no later.
Bsically these boundries were set into place about a month after Master Moved in with me this year,and i agreed to these BOUNDRIES! and i conscented to all of the ABOVE! The DOMINANTS who have walked me this summer could only do so for about 10 minutes because of my condition and i could not walk long or far and they brought me home immediately when i told them i did not feel well,and they RESPECTED Master boundries and if they did not then i would NEVER Be lent out to them again.Master is VERY PROTECTIVE of me and my activities and he would NEVER Allow Other DOMINANTS to hurt me in any way.He LOVES Me and cares about me VERY Much.and i feel His LOVE for me daily and I ADORE Him and WORSHIP Him and the ground He walks on.He is my Life,my SOul Mate,Lover Partner,Protector and MASTER! :-))

Thank You slave for asking that question and i hope i answered it to your satisfaction :-))

slave_brenda!

Good Day to all,
Master and i have around 70 people attending our WALKING DEAD THEMED MUNCH! and if anyone wants to attend they have until This Saturday to reply.This Halloween Munch party Will Be the BEST! i think around North Clarendon,Vermont since we live in a small town,i know our Halloween Munch party will be the BEST!! I will be the door greeter when our guests arrive and i also will be in costume from the WALKING DEAD! Master is going as DARYL THE BAD ASS!! Perfect for Master :-))He even has a cross bow like daryl uses in the series,Soooooo HOT! I love daryl the BAD ASS in the series.

Since There is an open bar and Master will be paying for the bar tab all of our guests are restricted to 5 drinks a piece,Master and i think that is fair after all He is paying the bar tab,so all of our guests will receive as they walk in the door a coupon book with 5 coupons for the bar each.Master made them up on the computer and if any guests wants more then 5 drinks they have to pay for them themselves! up to 5 Master pays for them,and since everyone is bringing a hot or cold dish or dessert we will have PLENTY of food.It will just be an AWESOME! Party/Munch

and as i stated Master will also be passing out CASH PRIZES for BEST AND ORIGINAL COSTUMES from the WALKING DEAD!
1Prize winner receives 100.00
2 Prize winer receives 75.00
3rd prize winner receives 50.00
And now Master wants to have a raffle for door prizes as well,I have to go to the dollar store and buy some items for the door prizes.

We also will have security standing by because if anyone gets out of hand and starts trouble they will be escoted out an if start to become violent the police will be called and we have them on stand by as well but i do not for see that happening.Everyone is coming for a good time and we have a cool DJ also arriving to keep everyone dancing :-))

Next week i will go to the hall Master rented and start decorating then Friday Master will help me set up tables and chairs.The party/munch will begin around 4 pm on halloween and will continue until 12 midnight!! WHAT FUN THIS WILL BE!! and our guests can dedicate songs i know i will be decicating songs to Master for sure. :-)) This is not a typical BDSM MUNCH! because nobody is allowed to wear FETISH BDSM CLOTHING! This a WALKING DEAD THEMED MUNCH and only costumes from the series will be accepted.it stated that in the invitations we sent and i cannot wait to see how many AWESOME WALKERS will attend! I will be taking ALOT of pictures :-))

Well i guess i talked enough for now lol sometimes i tend to be long winded lol but i am excited about this Munch/Party.what a GREAT time for all! :-))

You all have a GREAT HUMP DAY! everyone stay well and safe! :-))

slave_brenda!

Good Evening Everyone,
I was asked if i could give a little more background on my M/s relationship with my Master,and it will be my pleasure.

I will try and make this as short as i can.and try to get right to the point.

First of all we met in a BDSM chatroom 12 years ago (but not here) It was a long time ago but i think it was a YAHELL BDSM CHATROOM! But anyway,we started chatting and from the first chat conversation i felt something with him,it was odd really,how from the first chat conversation i felt this connection with my Master,and i knew from that night i wanted to get to him more,so we started chatting daily and it Wonderful,we got to know each other as FRIENDS first we never CYBERED! i did not enjoy it nor it was not what i was looking for.I wanted a REAL TIME MASTER Not one just online but due to circumstances it had to be that way for many years and i do not REGRET One moment of those chats.

Soon we were calling each other on the phone and talking daily,and when i heard his SEXY DOMINANT VOICE! for the first time,my heart melted.i was hooked,and i want to say from the beginning he was very honest with me,He told me he owned a slave who he sees on a regular basis and he was not making any BROKEN PROMISIES or lead me on and if i wanted to continue with my search for a SINGLE UNATTATCHED Master i could do so,but i was hooked and said NO SIR at that time i had to address him as Sir not MASTER because at that time he was not my MASTER yet.I said Sir,i am very interested in you and if you will allow me to stay i would really want to stay with you! and he said he would like that very much as well.

So to make a long story short here we had a long distance relationship for 12 years until June of this year when Master came to live with me.He and his slave of 20 years parted ways they grew apart and was bored with one another because each wanted something different then the other.Master wanted a LOVING relationship with her and she did not feel the same way so after a 20 year M/s relationship (REAL LIFE) They parted ways as friends with no bitter feelings and Master knew I was totally IN Love with him and wanted what he wanted and i could give him something his former slave did not want to give him LOVE and more of a SOLID COMMITTMENT! so he packed up his old life and moved to Vermont to start his new life with me,and it has been more then i ever thought it could be and we have what we want from each other.the BEST of both worlds.

So here are 13 years later finally together happy and fullfilled.Our journey has ended our search is over for the right partner,and i have what i have longed to have for 12 lonnnng lonly years MY MASTER with me 24/7 365 :-))

So that is it in a nut shell! :-))

You all have a great night sleep well and have sweet kinky dreams :-))

slave_brenda!

Do you know what makes me ANGRY! DOMINANTS male or female who go around posing as MASTERS AND MISTRESSES preying on vulnerable subs and slaves.stating how much they care for them and love them and want a relationship with them when they have no intentions of ever meeting them in REAL LIFE or have experience as a DOMINANT and have no clue what a responsible DOMINANT is suppose to do basically a WANNABE/PLAYER AND FAKE! they go around online because they can!! and throw their BULLSHIT stating they love their sub/slave and tell them they want a commitment and one day when the sub/slave tries to get in touch with them they are GONE! They delete their accounts and emails get kicked back with no explanation or reason to the sub/slave and the sub/slave is left hurt,crying and wandering WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!

Nothing PISSES ME OFF! more then a FAKE going around hurting innocent people then just leaving while the sub/slave is left with a broken heart and to pick up the pieces,i have NO RESPECT for FAKES,PLAYERS OR WANNABE who go around preying on the vulnerable and they give genuine serious DOMINANTS of this lifestyle a BAD REPUTATION! it is not fair! THEY DISGUST ME!!

I can spot a WANNABE In a heart beat,and i will not even acknowledge them.I am thankful i have a genuine,sincere,and serious Master who never played with my heart emotions or feelings even for the 13 years we were apart,He was always honest with me he always dropped everything just to talk to me at his office and home,i could call him anytime day or night and he always talked with me,he cared about my feelings and what i thought and he NEVER EVER! Deleted his accounts and disappeared without a trace and not once did my emails get kicked back to me!

I realize that this issue does not just pertain to DOMINANTS it also happens with subs/slaves as well and there is no excuses for that kind of behavior from anyone no matter what title they hold hurting others for your gain is WRONG! and being on a POWER TRIP! because you can hide behind a computer screen is just being a COWARD! and i want nothing to do with anyone like that.I would NEVER DECEIVE Others like that or hurt others because i sure as hell would not want to be hurt like that myself so i would not do it to others.

To everyone who has ben hurt by DECEIT! Online I am sorry for your experience but take it as a lesson learned and now you can spot a FAKE/WANNABE/PLAYER! and RED FLAGS! then you can walk away before you get hurt again and left to pick up the pieces. You are better then that and you will over come! and find a partner who is as sincere,genuine and serious as you are.

Ok now i will step down from my soap box but this is something i really HATE! when people HURT and DECEIVE Others then walk away and act like nothing happened and move on to the next VICTIM! SHAME ON YOU!

Enough Said!

Hello And Good Day All.
THE WALKING DEAD AND TALKING DEAD last night was AWESOME! The walking dead show was INTENSE!But i could never Be a canabal NOPE! i would rather starve then turn into a canibal,and Father Gaberial in this episode i am still trying to figure him out,i some how do not trust him something is not right with him. Father Gaberrial is more in the NORMAL WORLD and not in the WALKING DEAD WORLD! He acts as he would in the REGULAR WORLD! so it is hard to read him,my personal opinion along with others i have chatted with that are fans of the series agree with me.

I LOVE THE WALKING DEAD! and everyone i have chatted in other chats also LOVE the series and think that our walking dead theme munch for halloween is a GREAT IDEA! :-)) i thought of the idea and Master said SLAVE,YOU HAVE EXCELLANT TASTE IN IDEAS!! :-))Master refers me to just SLAVE and i feel so honored,however,MASTER does have a romantic side and He can be very romantic something i want and need right now especially when i am going to have back surgery December 3rd

One thing i have not discussed is since Master and i now live together after 13 years living apart,we have a half and half relationship and what i mean by that is we have a balance we have a Very loving ROMANTIC VANILLA RELATIONSHIP and also a M/s relationship because we both feel it is important to keep us grounded and not lose ourselves completely with just strictly a M/s relationship.We both wanted the best of both worlds and we live both on a daily basis and it works for us and we are happy and that is all that matters WE are happy with our Life and how we live it and how we Practice BDSM! Everyone is different and every relationship is different.

There is no RIGHT or WRONG way there is only the SAFE way and YOUR way :-)) You all have a GREAT Monday although Mondays due tend to be the hardest day of the week to get through and i hope it passes quickly for you and your day goes well. :-))

Many blessings to you and your loved ones.!!

slave_brenda!

Good Sunday To All,
I have to admit that Sir_Marks domestic slave impressed me yesterday,and she will work out just fine and she likes cats and i watched how she interacted with them both and she was kind,patient and knew when to leave them be,however my 2 cats/kids stayed hidden for the majority of Sir_Marks visit because we do not get alot of company and they are afraid of strangers,but once they get to know slave_angie i think they will feel more at ease with her and comfortable and wont hide from her :-))

She is very well trained and OBEDIENT Master gave her a simple domestic command with the approval of Sir_Mark and she complied and always showed my Master RESPECT and addressed him as SIR! She does not have to address me as MAAM just brenda because i am not a MISTRESS and even though Sir and MAAM does show proper RESPECT to everyone,i do not feel comfortable with another slave or anyone addressing me as MAAM unless they are STRANGERS then Yes i can see where that RESPECT comes into play but not people who know me,so slave_angie will address me as BRENDA and i will address her as SLAVE PERIOD! i am NEVER to use to REAL Name ANGIE and Master will also address her as SLAVE!

We all signed a temporary DOMESTIC SLAVE CONTRACT and Sir_mark has a copy of it.She will move in with Master and myself as of December 1st,and will take over DOMESTIC DUTIES at that time to get her familiar with her responsibilites.She will have a list of chores she will do daily and run errands ETC and do everything i usually do for Master except serve my Master SEXUALLY! she is not here for SEX! as i stated yesterday,she is here to take care of Master and his DOMESTIC Needs and take care of my 2 cats/kids after i get home from the hospital after surgery until i can resume my duties.

However she will be allowed to go back to Sir_Marks at Christmas and do whatever they usually do for the holiday and return the 27th,and then go out New Years Eve with Sir_Mark and return Jan 2nd.Master will excuse Slave_Angie around December 23rd and she will return Dec 27th and then again He will excuse Her Dec 30th and she will return Jan 2nd and resume her duties until i am Phycially able to move around and resume my DOMESTIC RESPONSIBILITIES!

We have been invited over to Sir_Marks for Thanksgiving and then on that Saturday Master and i (WEATHER PERMITTING) will go over to laselette Shrine in Enfield New Hampshire go to Mass over there and see the over 20.000 Christmas lights that the shrins has every year,and they are AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL! and i feel at peace there and tranquillity and such inner calm when Master and i leave there,and we will also go out to dinner over at the WEATHERVAIN Restaurant in West Leb New Hampshire before we head over to enfiled a few miles away to the shrine,and that will be the last weekend before my Surgery which is December 3rd. and hopefully by Christmas i will feel a little better to enjoy the holiday :-))

And speaking of holidays,Our Halloween Munch is shaping up nicely so far we have 50 people showing up for our WALKING DEAD THEMED HALLOWEEN MUNCH! The dead line for replies is this coming Saturday the 25th after that we will not accept anymore replies because we need to have a head count as to how many tables and chairs we need and I have contacted a DJ and he will be arriving and everyone is bringing either a hot or cold dish or dessert so we will have plenty of food for all.it will be FUN! Master and i are looking forward to it and so is our guests,and i want to see who has the BEST! Costumes i am sure there are going to be some very AWESOME WALKERS! lol it wil be GREAT! :-))

Well i better sign off for now Master and i need to get ready for church,so you all have a FANTASTIC SUNDAY! stay well warm and many blessings to you and your loved ones!

slave_brenda!

Hello and Good day to all,
Master has received 10 more replys to our Walking Dead Halloween themed Munch so now we have 40 people attending.Master said that the close friends we invited in the first place will be allowed to bring their friends as well this is why 40 people will be attending so far,word of mouth is VERY Powerful :-)) and it works,however word of mouth can also be NEGATIVE Depending on the circumstance but NEGATIVE INPUT is not what this is about this is about POSITIVE WORD OF MOUTH! pertaining to our Halloween party and again once people hear CASH PRIZES FOR BEST COSTUME! They will come in droves lolol but we want people to come to our party that is the whole concept the more people the more fun we all will have. :-))

Sir_Mark will be arriving around 1pm this afternoon with His DOMESTIC SLAVE who will be staying with us when i get home from the hospital after my surgery December 3rd,I have not met her yet and this is why Sir_Mark is driving his slave over so i can meet her now instead of later and we can get to know one another before i go into the hospital for surgery.I was asked by a slave if she will also be serving Master SEXUALLY! ABSOLUTELY NOT! she is not coming to our home for SEX! she is staying in our home as a DOMESTIC SLAVE ONLY! and take over all the responsibilities i usually do until i can resume them again,it is not about taking care of Master SEXUALLY! it is about taking care of our home and running errands for Master because i will be laid up for a month and will not be able to lift anything over 5 pounds.

and she has to LOVE CATS! because Master and i have 2 and they are my kids,They will be shown RESPECT! LOVE AND ATTENTION! from this DOMESTIC SLAVE! as Master and i show them and if she yells at my cats/kids or ever lays one hand on them Master will address the issue and call Her Master to come and pick her up and she will be relieved of her duties and if that happens He will just go to a temp agency to find a VANILLA HOUSEKEEPER! that must like cats in general to take of our home until i am able to do so myself again which will be in about 4 weeks after surgery (1 month)

My cats/kids are SPOILED ROTTEN and loved to DEATH by Master and myself and they do not know what the word ABUSE! Means and NEVER Will,so this is why Sir_Mark is driving his DOMESTIC SLAVE Over to our house later today to meet me and get to know my cats/kids and if Master feels she is acceptable then a TEMPOARY DOMESTIC CONTRACT will be signed by all parties involved,and Master will make a copy for Sir_Mark and He will keep a copy for Himself.He handles all of these arrangements and i sure TRUST His judgement and any and all decisions he makes so there is no worries for me.Master knows what is best for Him me and my cats/kids :-)) I am very fortunate to have him as a Owner.

You all have a FANTASTIC SATURDAY! stay well and many blessings to you and Your Loved ones,now i must shower before Master awakes and we start our day :-)) Until we meet again,parting is such swwet sorrow.

slave_brenda

Good Day to all,
Well,Master has received many replys for our WALKING DEAD THEME HALLOWEEN MUNCH!! :-)) so far we have around 30 people attending in all costumes from the series. :-)) we are hoping for more people to accept the invitation. I think because they know Master is giving out cash prizes for BEST COSTUME! lolol that brings people to any event MONEY!! lol that is ok the more the merrier. and there will be plenty of food because everyone is bringing a hot or cold dish! :-)) FUN FUN FUN !! :-))

Now on to my up and coming surgery December 3rd. Master and i are mentally and emotionally preparing for it,and Master is inviting over the DOMESTIC SLAVE! who will take over my duties until I can resume the responsibilities myself,her Master will drive her over to our house tomorrow afternoon and at that time she will sign a temporary DOMESTIC CONTRACT! so her Master my Master myself and the slave will understand exactly what will be expected of her and we all will sign it.

We also have been invited out for thanksgiving over to this Masters home because He understands my situation and He is very nice. His name is Sir_ Mark and He treats his slave very well from what Master told me i have met Sir_Mark,and He is around 50 years old very intelligent and has many years of experience and knowledge of this lifesyle as my Master does.He knows how to use toys SAFELY and PROPERLY! as Master does,and if i was not owned and loved my Master so much i would really consider impressing Sir_Mark for ownership.I am not interested in any Master under 50 years old,so Sir_Mark is the right age for me to serve.But since i love my Master with all my heart and soul and have no intentions of ever seeking another Master Sir_Mark is out of the question,but if i was still un-owned i would impress Sir_Mark for ownership :-))

Anywho... lol I have to go and clean the bathroom before Master gets up and i can focus my time and attention on Him for the day. TGIF Everyone Stay Well and Many blessings to you and your loved ones..

slave_brenda!

Good Evening To All,
I HAVE MY SURGERY DATE!!YESSSSSS!!! It is Wednesday December 3rd,FINALLY! this will be OVER after 10 lonnnng months :-)) Master and i are very happy,this has been a long time coming and this has been the worse year i have ever had in terms of HEALTH! but not the fact that Master now lives with me after a 13 year long distance relationship :-)) He has been my strength,my hope,my inspiration and the BEST thing that has ever happened to me and most importantly he has been my SANITY!! since i have had to deal with my condition.I am very fortunate to have him as my Partner,soul mate and MASTER!! and i am PROUD! to wear his collar on a daily basis.:-))

So now everything has come together and i will get my life back and resume serving Master as He should be served. :-))

In the mean time i have a halloween munch to prepare for and we emailed out our invitations,and we have already received 10 replys and they think having a WALKING DEAD THEME! for the munch is a GREAT idea :-)) all 10 guests say say will come as WALKERS! so it will be exciting to see who wins the 100.00 prize for best costume.Master has also decided at the last minute to add a second and 3rd prize as well :-))

2nd prize will win 75.00

3rd prize for best costume will wim 50.00 all prize money will be given out by Master directly from his own pocket :-))

We want to have 30 or more people arrive to our halloween munch because Master has rented a hall that can accomidate 200 people and i am keeping track of who is bringing what for a dish. hot or cold it does not matter whatever people want to bring they are welcomed to bring,there will be an open bar as well but the limit for all of our guests will be 5 drinks a piece because Master is also paying for the drinks for our guests,so Master has to put a limit on how many drinks per person since he is paying for them.He is kind and generoous with his money and NEVER!! SELFISH!!

He will be paying for the whole munch himself and i commend him and PROUD! of him he is a PURE GENTLEMEN! and one who has a kind heart and i am happy he is MINE!! :-))! however there is 1 stipulation to all of this,i have to prepare everything and make sure the DJ will arrive on time and get the hall all decorated,He will help me set up the tables and chairs once we get a final head count and all replys must be sent vIA EMAIL! or PHONE CALL by Saturday october 25th NO LATER! because i have to make sure i have enough tables and chairs for everyone and since everyone is bringing a dish it will be buffet style so all of our guests can serve themselves! i cannot wait.

then on thanksgiving Master and i will have a quiet dinner together and spend the last weekend together before my surgery on December 3rd :-)) it will be FANTASTIC because i will make it FANTASTIC for the both of us and our cats/kids :-))

Anywho... lol You all have a wonderful night sleep well and have sweet kinky dreams :-))

slave_brenda!

Good Day to all,
I am so happy that my favorite TV show is back THE WALKING DEAD!! LOVE IT!! and also THE TALKING DEAD! Master and i watched the first episode of the new season last night.IT WAS AWESOME!! and speaking of THE WALKING DEAD! Master did inform me that we are going to host a WALKING DEAD MUNCH! for halloween and he is renting a place so we can invite more people! I cannot wait,and it is for ADULTS ONLY! it will be so much fun.I have many things to do to prepare for it,and every guest will wear a WALKING DEAD COSTUME! and the best costume will win 100.00,that Master is going to give out of his own pocket :-)) (He is generous) we are going to have a buffet dinner meaning everyone brings a dish, and i will have cookies,cup cakes brownies and 2 cakes made!! All of our guests have to respond by Saturday the 25th of October!

I will decorate and we will also have a DJ Playing AWESOME Music.i cannot wait.Master and i LOVE THE WALKING DEAD! so what better halloween theme then our favorite TV Show :-)) and i will be taking alot of pictures! Our guests are not allowed to wear Any BDSM FETISH CLOTHING! this is the WALKING DEAD THEME! for our halloween munch so everyone has to come as a WALKER! or one of the charactors from the TV series and the best costume will win!! and since halloween is on friday this year it is PERFECT!! :-)) I CANNOT WAIT!!

Getting to my next topic,tomorrow i will be going to see the neuro-surgeon once again and i should also receive my surgery date.Master and i want this to be over and a s far as the holidays are concerned they will be put on hold if necessary it will depend on when my surgery will take place and the recovery time,and it really does not matter if we cannot celebrate the holidays on the exact day,we can and will celebrate them when i recover how ever long it may take,after all it is just Master,myself and my 2 cats/kids! so we are not pressed to celebrate the holidays on the EXACT Day they fall this year! the only concern Master has is i have the surgery,recover from it and get my life back,and Master has a DOMESTIC SLAVE! coming to stay with us until i can take over the duties of our home,Master has a Male DOMINANT who owns a DOMESTIC SLAVE! and is willing to lend her out to Master for as long as she is needed until i can get on my feet again.She will take over all the chores of the house such as cooking,cleaning running errands laundry ETC! until i am recovered enough to take over those responsibilities.My only concern is to get better and Master will take care of the rest :-)) this is why i love him so much,he takes EXCELLANT care of me. :-))

You all have a FANTASTIC day and i will return tomorrow hopefully with my surgery date! Enjoy your day everyone and stay well and safe!

slave_brenda!

Good Sunday to all,
Finally i have shaken my cold and i feel much better today,and i do not have to wear the face mask to keep Master from becoming sick anymore.He received His flu shot on friday,so now we are both protected.

Tuesday i go back to the neuro-surgeon and i should receive my surgery date at that time,and i am so ready for all of this to end,it has been 10 months to long,and i have had enough,but now i am noving in the right direction and things are happening quickly it was just getting to that first appointment to get my foot into the door and once i did that then everything else fell into place,and Master is also pleased that i will finally be fixed and get my life back so WE can continue with this BEAUTIFUL Lifetyle that has been put on hold for so long due to my condition.

I will certainly make up next year what i was not able to do this year 10 fold :-)) and serve Master as He deserves to be served by ME!! After all it is all about him but for the last 10 months it has all been about me because of this condition i have and running around to doctor after doctor trying to get answers and a solution and now i have both. :-)) It is a good feeling to know that after searching and running around i found the right neuro-surgeon and he can fix me. :))

Well ladies and gentlemen,i have to go and get Master up and prepare is shower and breckfast so we can go to church and YES!! i believe in JESUS CHRIST!! and havew long before i became involved in BDSM! and is something i believe strongly and always will.it is part of my life and will remain part of my life.

You all have a GREAT Sunday,and many blessings to you and your loved ones!!

slave_brenda!

Good day to all,
This cold i have is kicking my butt,but i will prevail over it and win.i need to feel better because next tuesday i go back to the neuro-surgeon and get my surgery date,and i dont want to feel like CRAP! going over there.I also wear a face mask so Master does not get my cold because i do not want him sick.He is a diabetic and with his age the last thing he needs is my cold,and i also use disinfectant spray in the house to kill the germs and i wash my hands all the time.i do everything i can to prevent Master from catching this cold and because he will be receiving his flu shot tomorrow from his Doctor so he needs to stay healthy for that,but i take EXCELLANT! care of him on a daily basis,and i wait on him constantly no matter how SHITTY i feel he comes first.

I take cold medicine and it is helping but i still cannot taste anything,one thing i HATE with a cold i loose my sense of taste.GRRRRRRRRR!! lol oh well it will pass,and the only thing i am concentrating on right now is getting a surgery date so i can get fixed,so this cold has to be gone by next monday the latest and i know it will be :-))

i am thankful i did get my flu shot on saturday,at least i am protected from that virus.:-)) well ladies and gentlemen i have to run and do some errands,i hope you all have a great afternoon and evening.Many blessings to you and your loved ones!

slave_brenda!

Good Evening All,
Master made a comment that i agreed with and smiled when he said it :-)) Since Master has a healthy self esteem and self worth and knows He is a experienced Master he said.I am a HANDSOME Master and i replied and said YES! You are,You are a very SEXY MASTER to me :-)) Well He is and YES i do put him on a high PEDESTAL! why? because when we had our 13 year long distance relationship not ever knowing if we would ever be physically together He stayed with me and was always here when i needed him no matter if i called him at his office or his home he dropped what ever he was doing to talk with me and spend quaility time with me,and now we live together.i PRAISE him daily,(not like he needs his ego stroked lolol) i just praise him to let him know how much i love him and appreciate him for staying with me all those years and NEVER releasing me,and he had plenty of opportunities to do so and NEVER did.

I in return was and will always remain LOYAL,FAITHFUL and DEVOTED to only him.I have no interest in any other Master and never will. Master is my soul mate and love of my life and has been 14 years,with 13 of those years apart until now.

I have a few things that turn me on with Master and they are as follows,
1) He smells soooooooo!!! good!! He always wears EXPENSIVE COLOGNE! in which i looooove to smell him.!! mmmmmmmmmmmm!!! He always smells so sweet :-))
2) I love to see Master in BLACK CLOTHING from head to toe
3) His Hands,I have never been interested in a Mans hands before but Master has BEAUTIFUL Hands with long slim fingers which i kiss and lick and suck.and his long fingers can reach in the most deep intimate places :-))
4) His mental,emotional and VERBAL humiliation and control.I enjoy those aspects of BDSM More then the Physical aspect of the lifestyle

4 of my most favorite things about my Master.and he is NEVER OLD TO ME He is SEXY and MATURE and a man i am totally attracted to in all areas.He is like a fine wine,he gets better with age,I have always been attracted to more MATURE Men,and not interested in men my own age or younger.I like the fact he has been there and done that (so to speak),and has the knowledge and experience i look for in a Master,so My Owner is PERFECT! for and to me,and that is all that matters.:-))

You all have a great evening. Many blessings to you and your loved ones! stay well and safe!!

slave_brenda!

Hello To All
i have some very good news!! Before i left Dr.Phillips Office yesterday,i have my follow up appointment next tuesday morning at 945 am and i should also be receiving my surgery date as well. Dr.Phillips has been waiting for my MRI so i am glad Master and i drove over to his office yesterday to hand deliver the MRI! so now we are moving in the right direction for recovery.

However,i came down with a cold,so today i feel SHITTY! and i have to be careful what i take because of the morphine,so i take alka seltzer for colds but instead of 2 tablets i take 1 at a time,and ironically i received my flu shot on saturday,so now i am protected and Master will be receiving His as well this month,and speaking of the flu,it amazes me with all the clinics that offer FLU VACCINES that people do not get one and some of the clinics are FEEE for people who cannot afford the 25.00 for the shot,and you always hear on the news how people are dieing because of the flu.

Why would anyone allow themselves to become that sick with the flu without seeking medical treatment and then die!! (shakes my head in disbelief) in my personal opinion with all the drug stores and Dr.s who offer the flu vaccine there is ABSOLUTLEY NO REASON for anyone to suffer with the flu and in some cases DIE! from it.I encourage everyone to get their flu shot unless you have a allergic reaction to it and cannot receive it then i can understand why you dont,but for others! GET YOUR FLU SHOT! and if you cannot afford the 25.00 for the shot find a FREE CLINIC in your local area that offers them and get one.You should not have to suffer and be deathly sick with this virus when it is preventable,unless again you have a bad allergic reaction to the vaccine!

I get my flu shot every year and not once do i come down with the flu,however the shot only covers a few strains of the flu so there is a possibility you or i or anyone ese could get another type of the FLU that the shot does not prevent,i know some people say I DONT GET A FLU SHOT BECAUSE I ALWAYS GET THE FLU ANYWAY!! and that is because it is a different STRAIN of flu that the shot does not prevent,but (knock on wood) for Master and myself we have not had that problem. :-)) but i know many do,but in any case if you do not have any type of allergic reaction to the flu vaccine i highly reccomend you protect yourself so you will not be the next person who DIES from it un-necessarily.

You all have a GREAT Day and stay SAFE! and take care of yourselves and each other!

slave_brenda!

Good Day to all,
i had my lower lumbar MRI on saturday and Master is driving me over to Dr.Phillips office in a little while to hand deliver the MRI to his Nurse,and when He comes into his West Lebanon Office tomorrow he can view it,then i am sure he will call me for a follow up appointment and confirm his dianogis that my spinal cord is TEATHERED! and set up my surgery date,so now i am heading in the right direction after a long and painful 10 months and Master is also relieved ad happy that finally i will have the surgery i need to get my life back and feel better.

Master told me not to worry about a thing because when i do get home from the hospital he will hire a DOMESTIC SLAVE! to clean the house while he takes care of me :-)) since i will not be able to do any house work for a while,plus the slave will also go grocery shopping and make our meals,She will live with us just until i can get back on my feet again.

Master has a male Dominant friend he met at a munch that owns a DOMESTIC SLAVE! and is willing to lend her out to Master for as long as she is needed,she receives no money for her DOMESTIC SERVICES but Master will pay her owner what that agreed upon,and the amount is something i do not know.the agreement was between Master and his Dominant friend and is none of my business,the only thing i need to think about is getting better.Master will take care of the rest for me :-))
well,i have to go now and get Master his breckfast because we have to drive over to Weat Lebanon New Hampshire which is about 1 and a 1/2 hours and Master has plans for later this afternoon so we have to hurry and get home.but you all have a WONDERFUL Day,stay safe and many blessings to you and your loved ones :-))

slave_brenda!

Hello Everyone,
i have been busy so i have not had a chance to post until today. My appointment with the neuro-surgeon went very well and i received an answer as to what i really have and surgery is the only option.and Dr.Phillips was a very nice,compassionate Man.i was very impressed and so was Master.

The fluid in my spinal cord is not causing my back pain losing feeling in my feet and leg weakness.What is wrong with me is that my spinal cord is TEATHERED! which means the cord is hanging lower then it should be and pulling on my spine causing back pain,leg weakness and loss of feeling in my feet,and Dr. Phillips explained the surgery procedure to Master and myself.

He will make a small cut in my lower back and cut the extra spinal cord that is hanging and pulling on my spine and will release the tention however in that procedure some spinal fluid will leak out but that is expected,and then Dr.Phillips will fuse the spinal cord and i will be in the hospital between 3-4 days.

Today at 230 i have to go to the hosptial and get a lower lumber MRI so Dr.Phillips can confirm His dianogsis,and Master will drive me back over to Dr.Phillips office so i can hand deliver the MRI To him and get a follow up appointment and then get a surgery date.

A Huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders going on 10 months suffering from this condition but now i have the cause and i have the solution so Master and i are happy :-))

You all have a GREAT Day Many blessings to you and your loved ones.!

slave_brenda!

Good Afternoone All,
Well,tomorrow is arriving soon and i am so ready for my appointment to get here.i have my MRIS and documents all together,i am getting anxious and a little nervous but i have to stay calm,so i tell Dr.Phillips everything He needs to know,Master will be with me so i know things will be fine.i am just wondering what will be done,and in less then 24 hours i will know.at least i hope i will,and if not i know i will know soon after because i am sure Dr.phillips will order new tests and MRIS.

Master and i will be leaving around 8-830 tomorrow morning,i want to be at Dr.Phillips affice at 1030 so i can gather my thoughts together then at 11am i will be ready to discuss what has been going on with me,then Master and i can ask questions and Dr.Phillps can ask questions,and i do not care what he does as long as he fixes me so i can have my life back and feel better again :-))

I hope you all are having a GREAT day and enjoy your night as well. God Bless and take care of yourselves.

slave_brenda!

Happy Sunday Everyone,
Our munch was a huge success.Once all of our guests arrived Master called the room to attention to announce that the munch was in my honor due to my health issues.Everyone clapped for me and i said a few words,and after that i started to serve our guests wine. It was a GREAT Time for me and i made a few new friends.All of our guests enjoyed the meal i served and after i served everyone i was allowed to sit at Masters feet and eat my meal.then Master allowed me to mingle around and talk with other subs and slaves. :-)) i was so happy. Master was very good to me and i appreciateed the munch. :-))

All of the Male and Female Dominants were very impressed by my polite manners and i NEVER looked at them in the eyes and my only response if asked a question was Yes/No Sir or Maam.They complimented Master for his training and how well i was behaved,so i was a very proud slave last night but always humble :-))

Now it is time to focus on my appointment tuesday to see the neuro_surgeon.Time to get serious and gather my thoughts.My appointment is at 11am tuesday morning but Master and i will arrive at Dr.Phillips office in west leb.New Hampshire at 1030 so i can get registered and get myself focused on what i need to tell him and Master is also preparing for the visit as well as he will have many questions as i will have.but i am so ready to be fixed.and this is the most important appointment i have had all summer and i have suffered for 9 months,(to long) now it is time to find out exactly what is wrong with me and fix me so i can have my life back so i am ready!!

Today Master and i are just going to stay home,relax,and rest and watch FOOT BALL!! :-)) we live a quiet peaceful life together with my 2 cats/kids the only way to live for us.We do not need DRAMA! in our lives or the extra FRUSTRATION! it is Master,myself and my 2 cats/kids and nobody else. because i never had children or never married because the only Man i am in love with is my Master and even though we are not married i do not need a piece of LEGAL paper to say I LOVE HIM! and vise versa.We live happily together now after 13 years of being apart and the wait was worth it for both of us,and i have no desire for another Master ever! why would i?? after waiting 13 years for the love of my life and Master i surely have no desire for another when He passes away.

Anyway,you all enjoy your sunday.and many blessings to you and your loved ones!

slave_brenda

Good Day to All,
I have everything ready for our munch later this evening.The guests will start to arrive around 4pm and dinner will be served at 6pm,and then everyone can start to have a great time,mingle about,talk ETC.I will be busy serving our guests and making sure they are happyIt will be a long day for me but since Master arranged this munch in my honor i am more then happy to stay busy. :-))
Tuesday is approaching quickly and this munch will be a good distraction,but come tuesday Master and i will be ready to see the neuro-surgeon,and finally get some answers,I have all the documentation and MRIS but they are old dated back to may except when i fell and broke 2 ribs about a month ago.

I have 2 cats which are my kids and i tripped over the litter bags because i could not feel the bags as i walked past them and i fell hard on the floor and broke 2 of my upper ribs on the right side.and YES! IT HURT LIKE HELL!! but thank god they have healed but the surgeon has to know i am losing feeling in my feet as well.Things have gotten worse for me over these past 9 months and i have had enough and suffered enough.i need to be fixed,i do not care how i just need it done ASAP!.
I am sure Dr.Phillips will order more tests or at least i hope he does and this appointment i am not rushing.i am going to stay for as long as it takes to tell him EVERYTHING! from my point of view and Master can also inform the surgeon from His point of view how he has seen me suffer with pain in my back and can hadly walk some days,and He witnessed me falling and breaking my ribs inside our home.
This is why Master put together this munch for me so i can have a little fun before i need to get serious with the surgeon and i appreciate more then you could ever know and i am happy :-))
Well I have to go and start cleaning the house i have a busy fun day ahead of me and i hope you all have a Lovely saturday as well.Take care and many blessings to you and your loved ones.

slave_brenda!

TGIF Everyone,
i have all the items Master wanted me to purchase for our munch tomorrow,the only thing i have to do is pick up the cake tomorrow morning. The dinner menu will consit of Chicken,corn on the cob,tossed salad,red and white wine (which i will not be drinking because i take morphine) so just diet soda or water for me.Dinner rolls coffee and cake.

Tomorrow i will be busy but i enjoy it.I will also be the one serving our guests while Master entertains them.I will serve the wine and food and i will sit on the floor at Masters feet when He allows me to do so and have my dinner in silence.I am not permitted to speak unless spoken too and i will address all male and female Dominants as Sir and Ma'am and i will be able to mingle with other subs and slaves upon permission from Master but my main priority is to make sure all of our guests have enough food and beverage.

After dinner,I will clean up while Master enjoys the company.I am looking forward to our munch tomorrow.It will be fun and i will be able to make new friends.I do not know all the guests that will be arriving but Master does.I will make sure everyone has a good time and also Master does as well,after all this munch is in my Honor and Master will announce that when all of our guests arrive,and i will humbly accept that honor.

Master is a very sweet considerate kind Man and i am so lucky to finally have the opportunity after a 13 year long distance M/s relationship to be able to serve my Master face to face,and i am PROUD! to wear his collar and belong to only Him. Our life together now is all i ever wanted it to be since he arrived to live with me. my life is complete :-))
You all have a nice day and be well.

slave_brenda!

I had a very nice slave message me asking if i would be her friend since no other member wants anything to do with her,she has a Master as i do and they live together as my Master and i do,but apparently she is being called a FAKE!!! as i was by other members and they do not even know her or have ever talked with her before but again she was PRE-JUDGED as i was just for what i typed in my profile and journal and i had some AGENDA! for being here or trying to sell Master off because i PRAISED him and put him on a pedestal.

I told the slave i will be happy to be her friend and i would NEVER JUDGE or PRE-JUDGE her and i was happy she is in a M/s relationship .I gave her some sound advice,i told her to IGNORE and BLOCK! as i did and still do if i have to (not my first choice) if i receive messages from other members who want to DISRESPECT me or JUDGE me without ever having chatted with me or know me here and in my real life.
I told her to be PROUD of who and what she is and nobody on a BDSM website,chat room or forum has a right to say anyone is FAKE just because of what one types in their profile and journal when they never chatted with you before or even want to get to know you as a person,but sadly it happens every day and not just on this BDSM site but others as well even VANILLA! but i told my new friend i do not ALLOW and read what i typed ALLOW anyone to critisize me or throw unfair BACK LASH at me if other members do not know me or want to know me.

I told my new friend to just IGNORE and BLOCK rude people and do not ALLOW them to make her feel bad or second guess herself or her M/s relationship she has with her Master,i told her to just mind her own business and post in her journal and do not harrass or bother any other members and i also told her as i posted previously that all members have CHOICES! here and FREE WILL and they have the right to choose what profile and journal entry they want to read and if others do not like or agree with any profile or journal entry they are free to move on to the next they do like and agree with. She was happy with my advice and thanked me for being her friend,i told her she can message me anytime and i will reply.

One last piece of advice i gave her, i told her to post in her profile or journal that if others want to be her friend she can accept them,and if they do not they can move on,and remember to always show RESPECT to other members and request they show her the same in return and if they cant or wont do that.again they can peacefully move on to the next member they will show RESPECT to.

So i welcome my new friend and i am happy to hear she has a Master who she loves and serves as i do and i am glad she stopped by to say hello! and she is always welcomed here anytime. i told her she does not have to be shy around me :-)) one thing i am not is shy.lol

slave_brenda!

Happy Hump Day!
Master informed me that we will be hosting a munch this weekend,and i need to prepare for it,He gave me a list of items i need to purchase today,food,beverages,table cloth etc,and Master has a few toys He will place on the dining table for decorations.I cannot wait,it will be our first munch that we will host.
Since our homeis small we can only host a small munch of 5-10 people but that is fine with us.it is a start,then next ear after i am fixed we are going house hunting :-)) then we can host bigger munchs with more people.Master has gotten to know people at munches we have been invited too,so He has invtited them over.
He has requested a cake ordered from a local bakery made for Saturday.I will be preparing the dinner.it will be between a dinner party/munch,i am very excited. Master wanted to do this for me since i have been suffering all summer with my condition and i will be going to see a neuro-surgeon next tuesday,He thought it would be good for me to mingle with other life stylers. I kissed his feet over and over again thanking Him for this munch in my honor.He treats me well and i just adore my Master and will love him forever! :-))
You all have a nice day,and many blessings to you and your loved ones!

slave_brenda!

Good Day and Hello
i want to take this opportunity to thank a couple of members who sent me kind messages wishing me well,in hopes the neuro-surgeon can figure out what is wrong with me and corect the problem and so do i,7 more days,next tuesday.is coming quickly now THANK GOD! I am prepared for this appointment,and one that will not be rushed in any way.Master is also ready to get me fixed once and for all. :-))
I was asked if i enjoy alternative plays the same,better or not as much as the physical play because i am restricted in physical BDSM activities because of my issues,and i have to say i enjoy the alternative mental,emotional aspect as much as i do the physical activities.I Love MIND FUCKING,VERBAL and MANIPULATING PLAY! I love how Master can intimidate me with his words alone and make me think twice,so i dont miss the physical play as much as i would if Master did nothing at all.I love feeling degraded and humiliated with words,looks and actions,for me personally,the mental,emotional andmanipulation effects me more then the physical BDSM activities because i am always thinking what is going to happen next especailly when i am blindfloded and gagged :-)) LOVE IT!!! :-)) and i beg for more.

SEX is not priority for me because i am 50 years old and soon going into menapause,although i still enjoy SEX it is just not in my top 5 for enjoyment for me the number 1 INTENSE PLAY for me is more emotional and mental play more then physical at this stage in my life and Master is also One who LOVES The mental and emotional play. Of course i satisfy Master sexually after all he is a MAN!! with needs but in order for SEX to happen the alternative play has to happen first and sex will follow or it wont,

ORGASm for me is NOT my goal.if i were younger SEX would be more priority but now that i am 50 years old and i have more health issues.i enjoy PLAY outside the bedroom.The goal for me now is just pleasing Master and making sure He is happy with whatever service i may give,even when we were apart for 13 years my goal was to make him happy anyway i could.I always come second and happy to be last because i know my needs will eventually be met but never is it expected nor do i ever ask for pleasure,Master will give me pleasure only if i have proven myself worthy of his attention and if i provided the service He wants from me.

I Love Master and He loves me.we are soul mates and partners.He is the YING and i am the YANG! we fit in perfect harmony and i would not want it any other way :-))

You all have a GREAT day,and God Bless You and your loved ones!
slave_brenda!

Good Day to all,
8 more days until i see the neuro-surgeon :-)) and i never thought my time would arrive.Master and i are so ready for me to get answers and for me to be fixed and get my life back :-))

We had a nice weekend,we did not get over to prospect mountain saturday as we wanted to because the weather was crappy but we went out to dinner and played a little so it was nice.
I have started decorating my porch for halloween,i know its early but that is okay with me.When i go to the dollar store this friday i will buy more items. Decorating is something i enjoy very much. Depending on what is going to happen with me,Master will decorate for christmas for me.i skip over thanksgiving as far as decorating is concerned but we still celebrate it,but christmas i love having my porch look pretty and my lawn as well.
i am hoping that maybe i will not have to have surgery,but it cannot be ruled out,i just want to be fixed ad feel better so whatever needs to be done i will accept it,if it will give me my life back and i can finally get off the morphine once and for all,i will do whatever the surgeon decides what he will do.
It would be nice if i could leave Dr.Phillips office on the 30th with all the answers i need and a solution to my problems,but i do not think that will happen.i am sure he will order new MRIS and blood work because the ones i have was back in april and alot has happened since april and i have gotten worse,so i am preparing for new MRIS Blood work and what ever other tests he may order for me to get a answer as to what i have and how he can treat it,Master and i are both ready for my appointment and i have all my documentation and MRIS to bring with me,so now we are just waiting until the 30th,8 more days :-))

You all have a wonderful day,God Bless and take care.
slave_brenda!

Good Day To All,
Today Master and i are headng over to Lake George,New York to Prospect Mountain.It is beautiful this time of year,and as you drive up the mountain there are diffeent view points where you can get out and see the view,and the colors are BRILLANT! and when you get to the base of the mountain a shuttle will take you to the top,and you can see all over Lake George,It is a peaceful tranquil place and does not require alot of walking for me.
I have the directions to get there because Master has NEVER Been to prospect mountain,but i know He will enjoy it as much as i do.I have been there many times but alone and it is not much fun alone,but now that Master is here with me it will be fun.I have showed Master many things since he came to Vermont,and He liked every place we have gone so far.
Prospect Mountain is at its BEST in the fall when the leaves have changed color,and Master will take pictures then we will go out to dinner.I enjoy spendiing quality time with Master no matter what we do.just being with him after 13 years being apart is HEAVEN ON EARTH to me! now i can say i am complete and whole since i have my Master here with me :-))

I hope you all have a great weekend and enjoy whatever you may do.Take care and God Bless!

slave_brenda!

Good Day To All,
12 days before my drs apointment YES! i am counting down until the 30th.this appointment with Dr Phillips is the most important appointment i have had all summer. I am hoping that i will not have to have back surgery,but some other alternative as long as i am fixed,i dont care what is done.

On a happier note,halloween is approaching and i am into decroating so soon i will start decorating my porch for halloween.Decorating is something i enjoy very much then after halloween i will focus on christmas i skip over thanksgiving,but that depends what is going to happen with me,but Master told me he would decorate for me if i cannot do it.

Hmmmmm!! i love him to death but for him to decorate our home i am not sure of that lol.He is creative with our BDSM activities but decorating? not so much lol but i give him an A PLUS for trying :-)) i will have to write down what to do so it looks nice :-)) He gives me the responsibility of decorating our home,and since this will be the first year we will actually celebrate holidays together after 13 years of being apart,it will be SPECIAL!! for the both of us,so no matter what happens to me whether i will be in recovery from surgery or an alternative procedure,How i will handle our first thanksgiving,christmas and new years together will depend what dr.phillips will do,but i am going to try hard to the best of my physical ability to make our first holidays together PERFECT! :-))

I hope you all have a great day,God Bless and be well.
slave_brenda

              Happy Hump Day To All,

i was thinking last night what i would do when Master god forbids passes away,because i know he cant live forever although i wish he could for my sake,but i was thinking what i would do? and i came to the conclusin that i will get out of BDSM and go back to my VANILLA LIFESTYLE! i have a deep connection with Master and i truly believe in my heart that i could not serve or love another Master as much as i do with mine.

I really do not think i will seek another Master,i am not interested in another Master now or later.I will completely get out of BDSM and live my previous VANILLA Life however,i will still wear Masters collar for the rest of my life,since i will still be his even in death.Master and i have discussed how i feel about this and He told me that i need to do what makes me happy although he does not want me to be alone for the rest of my life.

i wanted his approval as to what i wanted after his death and if i was doing the right thing,and he gave me that approval.I was alone for many years 13 to be exact before Master came to Vermont and moved in with me,but that was my CHOICE! because i did love him even though we had never met,we built a solid long distance relationship and i was not even interested in another Man/Master because i wanted HIM! and fnally i have the Master i longed for 13 years.

We have a bond betwen us that will never be broken,and since i can think more clearly and communicate so others can understand me,i am happy to be ME! :-))I give alot of credit to Master because in 13 years of our long distance relationship he was always here for me and dropped everything he was doing just to talk with me either at his office or home.He was always available for me when ever i needed him.

Maybe i do put him on a high pedestal but it is how i feel no matter what anyone else thinks or feels,i love Master and always will and He is a good Man and takes good care of me and worries about me daily.He listens and is attentive to my needs and wants and undersands how difficult things have been for me physically for the last 9 months because it also effects him as well,so if i PRAISE Him and think he is GREAT! that is because to me and me alone HE IS!! nobody can change my feelings i have for him or how i think of him here or in real life and if others have issues with this then they need to work it out because that is a personal problem they have with me,and i cannot be concerned by what others say or think of me and my M/s relationship.

Bottom line is i am eternally grateful to have such a caring loving Master who is always here for me and takes care of me and worries about my well being and health,and i know without a doubt he loves me because he tells me daily and since he lives with me i would know better then anyone else how he feels about me.

Master and i found each other and built a strong,trusting M/s relationship and we have a mental,emotional,physical and spiritual connection that i know i could not have with another Master and i am happy.

             You all have a great day!
                 slave_brenda

             Good Day to all,
I am counting down the days before i see Dr.Phillips yesterday was a bad day for me,i could hardly walk and my back hurt so much,but Master is taking very good care of me,and when i hurt and cant walk very well Master hekps me to bed so i can lay down for a couple of hours.

Sometimes the morphine takes about 3 hours to work depending on my pain level,but i am so ready to see Dr.Phillips.suffering with this problem for 9 months is more then enough for me,and this just does not effect me it also effects Master as well. Even though He is very loving and caring,i know he misses the physical play,but he is patient and knows when i am finally fixed and well i will make it up to him 10 fold,i also miss the physical play,but Master compensates the physical BDSM activities with the mental,and emotional play which is very effective for me,and all the verbal humiliation that i love makes it work for the both of us.
I do not wish this condition on anyone because it strips your life away and affects your loved ones and your partner as well,and in my personal opinion i should have been fixed months agao and is a SIN! to make me suffer with this condition for 9 months,however the 30th is so close now,just 2 more weeks,then Master and i will finally get the answers we need and i can be fixed and get my life back :-)) thats all i want.
I want my life back so i can satisfy Master and his needs and wants as well as my own.
              Have a great day!
                  slave_brenda

Hello Everyone,
i have been asked by a few subs and slaves if i have heard from Mistress_Of_Souls,and i am sorry to say i have not. The last time i talked with her was back in may,she told me she was moving away,but i have no idea where,and i have not received any messages from her here,i do not think she is here because if she was i know she would send me a message.

I do miss her because she was very kind to me and NEVER rejected me and always treated me with respect and dignity.she included me in her life and invited me over to her house.She is a REAL AND TRUE Mistress and she was DAMN good,and she was intelligent and knew what she was doing and i am sure still does.

I would love to see her again some day and i pray she is well and happy.She did own a male slave the time we spoke and i met him at her house,and she trained him VERY well.her male slave was obedient and attentive to her and she was very good to him as well.i liked him very much,he was also kind to me.Master also liked Mistress_Of-Souls.I just wished he had more time to get to know her,but she moved away to quickly.

If she deos ever message me again,i will let the subs and slaves know who asked about her,but i have not heard from her since she moved away.I really enjoyed her unconditional friendship.and i enjoyed going over to her house for BBQs and munches.she was a good friend to me and i will never forget her.
You all have a great day!
slave_brenda

Good Day to all,
Master and i arrived home yesterday afternoon and had a wonderful time in maine.It was a relaxing vacation for both of us and it gave us something else to think about rather then just dwelling on my health issues.However my appointment is close the 30th is coming fast,but we are so ready for it to arrive.

It is time to fix me so i can have my life back and i feel better and get off the morphine.The holidays are also coming but i do not know what is going to happen,so i really cannot plan anything until i find out what is going to happen with me.

I feel bad because Master has been so worried about me and i love him for that.since he has moved in with me i feel wanted,appreciated and loved by him and he always makes me feel OWNED by him.

I enjoy verbal humiliation and even though i may not be able to play much physically Master still shows his control over me by VERBAL,MENTAL AND EMOTIONIAL! control and he is always VERBALLY HUMILIATING me because he knows how much i enjoy it,and i always wear my leash and collar daily.

Today Master will take me for a ride because i cannot walk very far,and i will be handcuffed and i am not allowed to speak unless spoken too,and Master will be verbally abusing me the whole time and i love it!! He will call me a FUCKING BITCH,WHORE AND OLD UGLY SLUT!! something i enjoy so much,and i will only speak if Master does ask me a question or says i can speak.

I am glad he has completely retired and he can stay home with me.I am finally happy because i have Master with me after being apart so many years,then next year we will be looking for a small house to purchase,however Master will be purchasing the house for us so i am looking forward to that.by next summer i should be well and fixed and be able to continue with my life with my Master and i will make up for everything i could not do this year :-))

You all have a great day,Take care of yourselves,and be safe.
slave_brenda

Hello from Old Orchard Beach Maine,
Master and i are having a wonderful time here.it sure is a nice distraction from my health issues i am dealing with.

The weather is a little crappy today but we dont care,today we are going down to kittery maine and do some shopping,although i can only walk a short distance at a time and i have to sit down Master does not mind and is patient with me.He has bought me some lovely things here,and we have enjoyed ourselves very much.

He has allowed me to quickly post in my journal before we head out for the day. We will be heading back home on saturday,But it has been great getting away to a place Master and i can sit back relax and breathe the fresh salt air,and out hotel sits right on the ocean,we open our door and see the ocean,walking the beach has been nothing short of a challenge for me but i have accomplished it. We have sat on the patio deck and watched the people go by,we have talked about alot of things,and our furture together now that he is living with me.

Now i can say my life is complete.Master is finally here with me after so many years being apart.and He has been my STRENGTH and SUPPORT through all i am going through physically right now and i am happy.

I have only 2 and a half more weeks and i can finally see a neuro-surgeon i have waited all summer to see and get the answers and treatment i need to get my life back and feel better.that is all i want.

Anyway, i have to go now Master is waiting for me to finish so we can head out for the day.I hope you all are having a good week and i will post again on sunday when Master and i arrive back home.Take care of yourselves and God Bless.

slave_brenda

Hello Everyone,

I hope you all are having a good week.

Master and i are going away for the weekend,we are heading to old orchard beach maine. We are leaving tomorrow and will be gone until next Saturday. I will not be posting again until next Sunday after today.

Master made reservations to a nice hotel near the ocean,and i love going to maine. He is taking me to maine for a week to just relax and not worry about how my appointment with the neuro-surgeon will go on the 30th of this month. I am hoping i will be able to walka length of time without my back,legs and ribs hurting now,but if i do hurt i am still going because i love walking low tide and finding sea shells.it will be a good time.

I pray the surgeon will do the surgery so i get my life back but if not Master will retain a lawyer and i will be compesated for the pain and suffering i have been in 9 months because if the fluid id not removed from my spinal cord i will be in a wheel chair and i have no intentions of being in a wheel chair another year and i will be if i do not get this surgery.

I am seeing the top neuro-surgeons around in west lebonon New Hampshire so i pray He fixes me. I waited all summer ans SUFFERED with PAIN! in my back,legs and now my ribs,so enough is enough.

so this appointment is very importnt it will determine whether i do get the surgery i DESPERATELY! need or i get a lawyer.either way something will be done for me.but i do not want to sue anyone i want to be fixed so i can walk without PAIN! and do what i cant do anymore,but i will have to wait and see.

I hope you all have a GREAT weekend and i will return next sunday when i get home from vacation. Enjoy your week.and i pray everything goes well for you.

slave_brenda

If nobody reads my profile and just reads my journal entries then i am going to post this here as well as my profile,so i can rectify a mistake i made and i truly apologize.

Let me once again tell you about Master and myself and clarify things so there are no mis-understandings and confusion since i was called out on it for an honest mistake on my part.

Master and i had a long distance relationship for 13 years (until this june) then He decided to move to Vermont and live with me,but in the 13 years we were talking,and emailing we developed a relationship and i considered us a couple because of the feelings that i slowly grew to have for him.

We may not have been physically together 13 years but we were together in a long distance relationship,and that is how i thought about our relationship,and since i have health issues now He decided it would be a good idea to finally come here and move in with me and that is just what he did. He is completely retired as a IT Specialist and came to live with me plus he also has family here as well.

Although i really donot have to JUSTIFY or explain myself to anyone i feel that i should clarify our relationship so i am not called out on my mistake any longer,and i ahve nothing to hide.

So as of June of this year 2014 Master has come to Vermont and moved in with me and nothing changes the fact that Master and i were in a long distance relatinship 13 years and now physically together now.it is finalized at this point.

I hope this clears up any confusion and mis-understandings about Master and myslef and it really should not matter to anyone in the first place,but that is another issue,but as far as this issue i believe i clarified it and explained it.

Next year Master and i are going to look for a small house and move from where we live now. i live and rent a small cottage,and i want a house of my own,but since i cannot work because of my health issues Master will purchase our new home because i cannot afford it,and i could not be happier :-))

I hope you all have a great evening.

slave_brenda

Good Morning and hello to all,
i was sent a comment yesterday and though it wasnt very nice and rude i do respect it but it was worth posting and a PUBLIC REPLY! and though i should reveal who sent it i will not be that mean,but i will make a public reply to the message so every one that is interested or slightly interested can read it.

I was sent a comment stating that i am to OLD and BROKEN! to be considered a slave or anything else and i should just get out of BDSM all together because of my health issues in which i have no control over and people my age should never be involved in this if i cannot perform ESXUALLY!! or partake in BDSM ACTIVITIES that would accomidate a MASTER! and my Master of 14 years should find a younger SEXY SLAVE to Quote FUCK!! unquote and release me because i am of no use or value.

I have to give this guy credit for a couple of points he made,
1) i am BROKEN with health issues
2) i cannot perform many PHYSICAL BDSM activities that my Master enjoys 3) i do feel OLD from the disorder i am dealing with and have dealt with for the past 9 months

However.. despite all of these issues i may have,i feel i am worth servitude and i go out of my way to please Master and he does not feel the same way as this guy does,and as far as SEX is concerned i satidfy Master to the best of my abilities and He has no complaints.

Master has taken excellant care of me 14 years and counting and since i have no family and really no friends i can hang out with Master has become my BEST FRIEND and CONFIDANT! he helps me cope,he encourages me to push forward and He is always optimistic about my situation. i want for NOTHING! but i ask for NOTHING!Master treats me well as a HUMAN BEING and WOMAN! first and foremost then a slave/servant second

I may not be able to serve my Master as well as i did 14 years ago but i put 110 percent into the services i provide for him now and he appreciates me and told me he loves me and has no intentions of releasing me because of my health issues,a Good MASTER or MISTRESS is always there to help their sub or slave and it is their responsibility to make sure they do everything they can in their power to keep them SAFE and HEALTHY! and make good sane decisions they can for the well being of their sub or slave and when a sub or slave is ill or has any type of disabiltiy their Owner provides a postive envirnment and ensures their sub slave they are wanted,appreciated and needed by them and not feel rejected or always remind the sub or slave of their helath issues and/or disabilties

They are treated as any other sub or slave would be treated with some adjustments,and in the eyes of a MASTER or MISTRESS! their sub or slave is worth more then any amount of money or material possesasion the DOMINANT owns and will let no harm come to their more value possession.

So in closing i want to thank the DOMINANT! for his NEGATIVE comments and though i do not agree with any of his opinions about me i do respect them.and i do not like what he said about me but he has a right to express himself in either a negative or positive way so i will not say anything againist him,but i did want others to see what he said and what my reply was to the negative comments he made.

I caanot change who i am or my age,or the fact i am suffering with FLUID IN MY SPINAL CORD! i am having that addresserd on September 30th and hopefully the neuro-surgeon will fix me and i will be able to serve Master as i once did,but i want to let this MALE DOMINANT! know that i am capable of serving to the best of my abilities and my Master is happy with the services i provide and our M/s relationship is not based on SEXUAL PERFORMANCE!

Thank you for stopping by and giving me your insight about how you think i am and what Master should do about me.

You all have a GREAT day,take care of yourselves and God bless!

slave_brenda

Good Day To All,

i hope you all had a great labor day weekend and had fun whatever your plans were. Master and i went to a BBQ over to our friends house and had a wonderful time,and i am counting down the days until Master takes me to see a neuro-surgeon.

September 30th is the day and i really NEED! to see Dr.Phillips.the pain is coming aorund to my ribs now along with my back and legs hurting me and at this time i have suffered with this disorder for 9 months (long enough to have a kid) and it is to long.

My visit with Dr.Phillips will determine whether i get the surgery i desperately need or Master retains a lawyer and i hold someone accountable for denying me health care and just leaving me to SUFFER with this disorder while i become worse instead of better,and as soon as it becomes cold,i will suffer even more because my back is vulnerable with the fluid just sitting there as it is so the cold weather will crawl inside my back and i know for a FACT that i will have a harder time wlking and getting around,so before it becomes cold I NEED SURGERY! and the longer the fluid just sits doorment in my spinal cord the more damage it will do.

So either Dr.phillips does surgery so i can get my life back or Master retains a lawyer and i sue! because i REFUSE! to suffer like this another 6 months or a year because by that time i will be in a wheelchair and even though Master will take EXCELLANT care of me if that happens i do not want to put that kind of burden on him when surgery can give me my life back and i can start living again and doing the things i enjoy doing with Master,but i will have to wait and see what happens at my visit,but at least its sepember so now it is down to weeks not months! and i never thought sepember would ever arrive because i suffered so much this Summer but Master has done everything He can to make my life as productive as possible and help me cope.

I love Master,he is my BEST FRIEND and CONFIDANT! and has been 14 years and will continue to be for as long as he is living with me. He loves me and takes very good care of me,and i am happy!and how i feel about him and what i think about him is all that matters anything else is secondary.

You all have a great day,Be wella nd God bless!

slave_brenda

Hello Everyone,
i want to wish You a happy and safe labor day weekend and whatever your plans i hope you have fun and remain safe.

Master and i are going over to a friends house for a BBQ! tomorrow,and i will be bringing chocolate chip cookies and they will be sugar free because Master has diabeties so i make my cookies with splenda.and i lost 100 pounda about 2 years ago,i was 250 pounds,now i am 150.

Master and i have really great friends in the BDSM Lifestyle and VANILLA! the friends we are going to see tomorrow are VANILLA! but know about the lifestyle and accept us and like us regardless of our lifestyle they respect our lifestyle and we respect them.. I have to honestly say that everyone we have told that is 100 percent vanilla has accepted us and never rejected us,they just are not interested and they do not have to be.

BDSM is not for everyone and that is okay we all cannot like the same things or else it would be a very boring world if we were all the same. :-)) I am looking forward to the BBQ! and we mingle laugh and talk with all our friends and maybe even meet new ones.it will be fun. Sunday and Monday it is suppose to rain here so Master and i will just relax and hang out at home and play a little

I will return on tuesday and post again,i will be to busy to be here this weekend.so i wish you all a very happy and safe labor day weekend,and if you send me messages i will return on tuesday to read them and reply and if not that is fine as well.

Take care of yourselves and each other and have fun this weekend whatever your plans are. :-))

see you back here on tuesday!

slave_brenda

Hello Everyone,

I am happy that a few of my friends from collar me found me and contacted me :-)) and they seem to be doing well and i am glad.

One of my friends asked me yesterday hoow it was with my Master after 14 years and if it was everything i dreamed of? and i replied to him to the first question in 1 word AMAZING! after 14 years of service to Him and the answer to the second question was YES! it is everything i dreamed it would be and i cold not be happier.

I Love Master with all my heart and soul and even though He is a SADIST our M/s relationship works out beautifully because Since i am not a MASOCHIST! he does have a slave He sees on a regular basis who is a masochist,and she can accomidate him with His sadism,and NO! i am not and never will be JEALOUS!

Master has every right to own other slaves,it is none of my business or concern.When He goes out and tells me He will be home later my reply is only YES MASTER!! i ask no questions and discuss his other slave,if He wants to discuss his other slave with me then He will bring it up if not i say NOTHING! it is not my business!!

All she is to Master is a PLAY PARTNER,once He is finished he comes home to me and we continue forward.Master and i are very ahppy together and we live a quiet peaceful life together.NO DRAMA! just an honest trusting M/s relationship. and we work hard to make it work for both of us and it is worth it especially after 14 years.

Anyway.Yu all have a FANTASTIC day,i wish you love,peace and happiness always!

slave_brenda

To understand what condition i am sufering with i thought i would post again and share some information that my Doctor printed out on her computer for me so if someone else has any of the symptoms i have then you may have this condition as well and should get an MRI done on your spine.

First i will post the technical term for what i have and explain a little from the paper work i have in front of me.i would post every single piece of information that i have just the key important information.or else i would be typing for a couple of hours lol and my fingers will fall off lol

Okay,let me start...
What i have is called in a technical term is SYRINGOMYELIA...It is a generic term referring to a disorder in which a CYST or CAVITY forms within the spinal cord. This cyst called a SYRINX can expand and elongate over time,destroying the spinal cord,the damage may result in PAIN,PARALYSIS,WEAKNESS and SIFFNESS in the back,shoulders and extremities. SYRINGOMYELIA may also cause a loss of the ability to feel extremes of hot or cold especially in the hands.

The disorder generally leads to a cape-like loss of PAIN,TEMPERATURE sensation along the back and arms.

Each patient experiences a different combination of symptoms,these symptoms typically vary depending on the extent and often more critically to the location of the SYRINX within the spinal cord.

SYRINGOMYELIA is from T7-T12 in my spinal cord)

Before i continue and if you want more information about this disorder here are a couple of web sites in which you can find more information.

SYRINGOMYELIA (http://www.ninds.gov/disorders/Syringomyelia at NINDS

Mayo clincs page... (http://mayoclinic.com

Washington University School of Medicine: Syringomyelia (http://neuromuscular.wustl.edu/spinal/syrinx.htm)

Now I will continue with,
DIAGNOSIS: Physicians now use MRI to diagnose syringomyelia,The MRI radiographer takes images of body atatomy such as the brain and spinal cord,in vivid detail. This test will show the syrinx in the spine or any other conditions such as the presence of a tumor. MRI is safe,painless and informative and has greatly improved the diagnosis of syringomyelia.

The Physician may order additional tests to help confirm the diagnosis. One of these is called (EMG which measures muscle weakness. The doctor may also wish to test cerebrospinal fluid pressure levels and to analyze the fluid by performing a lumbar puncture.

Now the information i will pass on is TREATMENT.

The first step after diagnosis is finding a NEURO-SURGEON who is experienced in the treatment of syringomyelia.This part is VERY IMPORTANT TO READ AND I WILL TYPE IT IN CAPS!! SURGERY IS THE ONLY VIABLE TREATMENT FOR SYRINGOMYELIA!!

Not all patients will advance to the stage (but i have) where surgery is needed. a type of shunt is called a VENTTRICULPERITIONEAL SHUNT and is particularly useful in cases HYDROCEPHALUS. By draining syrinx fluid a shunt can arrest the progression of symptoms and releive PAIN,HEADACHE,and TIGHTNESS without correction symptoms generally continue.

I think this expalins in detail and the key information what i am suffering and please fel free to copy this if you think you may have this disorder,and i urge you to see your Doctor ASAP! and get an MRI to confirm it.

If you do have this disorder,PLEASE! see your doctor ASAP! This is SERIOUS! and not one to take lightly! Thank you for reading this and i hope this information has been helpful to you if you happen to have this disorder.

Hello to everyone,
i want to say i am happy that a coupls of friends i exchanged messages with on collar me found me here so now we can continue to exchange messages,i am so happy because the people i met on collar me were kind and encouraged me on a daily basis and helped me see that i was not STUPID! and they could actually understand what i was trying to say.they over looked the fact that i was SLOW! and could not express myself in a adult fashion.

They always knew i never pre-judged or judged them. and they NEVER Pre-judged or judged me,they just spoke with me as they would talk to any other person and i really appreciated that and so did Master,He was very happy to know i met some kind people who could understand me and accepted me for who i was and not reject me for what i was not.

So now i am back new and improved thanks to Master and enrolling me in online classes to improve my communication skills and speech,and now my thinking process is much more clear and things register with clarity and my understanding is also alot more clarified then it was on collar me and i feel good about myself once again. :-))

So THANK YOU! for the friends who found me from collar me,i was so happy you found me and sent me a message,and if i do not remember you,it is not important what is important is you idenify yourself to me so i will remember and then we move forward and continue our online friendship.

As far as the FLUID IN MY SPINAL CORD has gotten worse for me,my back and legs aches constantly,and i take 3 morphine pills a day and 1 tylenol between doses just to remain comfortable.it has been such a struggle for me this summer and it STRIPPED my life away and debiliated me,i could not do and still not do alot of things,but my appointment with Dr.Phillips a neuro-surgeon is coming September 30th but it still a month away.

Master is VERY upset and FRUSTRATED! because i have had to suffer like this for 8 months and no surgeon would do surgery so i can get my life back,and Master said after all this time that if Dr.Phillips which is located in West Lebenon New Hampshire REFUSES to do surgery then He will pertain a lawyer because someone has to be held accountable for just letting me stay this way and some days i can hardly walk and when i go out i have to either use crutches or a walker with wheels,and to just leave me this way and suffer in PAIN! on a daily basis is a SIN!! and Master and i will not tolerate it any longer i either get the surgery to drain the fluid from my spinal cord and it is from T7-T12 in my spinal cord,or i will take him to court.I REFUSE to be in a wheel chair because no surgeon will fix me. enough is enough going on 9 months dealing with this is more then enough!!

Anyway,i will close for now,you all have a fantastic day. God Bless and be well. :-))

slave_bre or slave_brenda!

I needed to post 1 more time today because i forgot to thank some very nice sweet people who as well as Mistress_Of_Souls treated me with the upmost RESPECT! and DIGNITY! on collar me,they will always remain my friends.

I do not remember their IDS but they know who they were. They NEVER insulted me,critisized me or called me STUPID! because i could not type my words properly because i was SLOW! and sounded like a CHILD! they treated me as they would anyone else,and never kept reminding me that i was SLOW! and made no sense.

I will always appreciate their unconditional friendship and for treating me like anyone else here.You made me feel welcomed and accepted and that is all i ever wanted.was to be ACCEPTED! and since i have taken online classes to improve my communication skills,i feel so much better about typing words and carrying on a conversation.

I just want to say to all the nice people who were more then kind to me on collar me THANK YOU! i was always happy when i received messages from you and i was excited to reply because i knew you really cared. so if any of my collar me friends are here now PLEASE! contact me and say hello,i would really love to hear from you once again.and pick up where we left off. God blessed me with a Wonderful Master/Owner and good friends like Mistress_Of_Souls and YOU! and you all know who you are. THANK YOU!! You all are very special to me and i will also never forget your kindness you showed me and the upmost respect and dignity! You are a blessing to me :-))

slave_brenda or slave_bre either or :-))

Good afternoon everyone,

i wanted to let others know who had corresponded with me on COLLAR ME that i am back,and to my friends i exchanged messeges with,you can tell that my typing has improved and i sound just a little more intelligent then i did on collar me,that is all due to online classes Master arranged for me so i could learn to speak and type like a NORMAL adult and not sound IGNORANT! and i really have come along way from collar me,it was good this site went down so i could take the classes i needed to improve myself and now others can understand what i am typing.

The classes have also improved my thinking process and how i communicate with others. however,i do not talk to MISTRESS OF SOULS! any longer because she moved away and we no longer communicate and i do not know where she lives. I do miss her because she made me feel wanted and as smart as anyone else,and was such a good friend to me,but i wish you well and i pray she is flourishing where ever she may be.

So if any of the friends i had on collar me are here now pleases contact me i would love to hear from you again.and you will also be able to communicate with me alot better now that i have taken online classes to improve my speach,thinking and typing skills. :-))

     slave_bre or as my friends on collar me knew me slave_brenda!

If Mistress_of_Souls should happen to be here PLEASE contact me because i would love to see you again and talk with you,You will be impressed by my progress in speaking,typing and thinking.You were more then a good friend and protector to me on collar me when nobody else wanted anything to do with me because i was SLOW,You showed me kindness and RESPECT! and helped me through my darkest days,and Master also appreciated all your support and help.In my eyes you are one of the TRUE HONEST GOOD Mistresses,and i was and still am PROUD to be considered your friend. May God be with you and your slave always,and know you will never be forgotten by me.you will forever have a special place in my life and in my heart. Thank You Mistress_Of_Souls for all you are,for all you do and how you inspired me to be the very best i could be for myself and my Master.

            Your friend always,
               slave_brenda

Good day to everyone,
i had a discussion with Master last night about why some people feel the need to PRE-JUDGE others when they do not know them,have never talked with them or even know them in REAL LIFE? to me it seems unfair and i have always felt that way,

or some people will automatically assume you are FAKE! and i am talking about online BDSM web sites like this one just by what you type in your profile or how you type? they immediately think oh YOU ARE FAKE!

Master sat down with me because i really wanted to find out from his prospective why some people are so quick to PRE-JUDGE and JUDGE Others without ever knowing them on a personal level. and Master said something that really made me understand WHY!

He said people who pre-judge or judge others for what ever reason they may have be it online or real life,think that in order for someone to be REAL! in their eyes or their standards is that you have to act a certain way or say certain things so they feel it is believeable,however... it is much easier to pre-judge and judge others then it is to actually get to know a person on a personal level.

It is also easier to jump to false conclusions about others because they do not want to take the time to get to know someone on a personal level it is much easier to say to a person YOU ARE FAKE BY WHAT YOU SAID OR WHAT YOU DO! when in reality it is FALSE! that explanation really stayed with me.

I can understand now why some people do pre-judge and judge others without even getting to know them on a personal level and feel someone is FAKE! because they said a certain thing or typed a certain way,and me persoanly would not do that or message a total stranger and say I THINK YOU ARE FAKE! BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU TYPED IN YOUR PROFILE AND YOUR JOURNAL ENTRIES as one did to me,a total stranger who i NEVER had the pleasure of chatting with or know say YOU AE FAKE but the things you typed in your profile and journal!!

WOW! It makes me appreciate my own ethics when it comes to others and makes me re-evalute how others think when it comes to PRE-JUDGING and JUDGING someone unfairly and unjustly.

I take pride in knowing i myself am not like that,i want to get to know someone on a personal level first over time then make a judgement call about them not before.I guess for me it all comes down to RESPECT! and being objective and open minded about others,i always give people the benifit of a doubt and who am i to say YOU ARE FAKE! when i do not know them. it is not my place to JUDGE anyone,there is only 1 who has that right and He is JESUS CHRIST! nobody has the right to pre-judge or judge anyone else.

thanks for reading my journal entries and i do hope you will stop by again,even if you do not say anything to me be it good bad or indifferent,you know you are always welcome here.

Have a blessed day and be well ALWAYS!

slave_bre

Good early morning everyone,
I hope you all had a great weekend.
Master and i went to a munch last night and had a good time. we have met alot of really nice people in the lifestyle and we have learned from others about different styles,activities etc,and there was a demonstration for new people just getting involved by a experienced Mistress how to use a whip safely and properly.

She deomstrated by using her whip on her own slave,and she was very good with a whip.Master and i have gained new friendships from going to munches and we also host ourselves once a month,but our munches are small because my house is not very big and i can only have about 20 people but it is enough. Everyone that attends our munch seems to have a good time and we always serve a dinner as well.

i enjoy learning from others who are more experienced then myself and when there are lectures which some munches Master and i attend have people speak on different topics i do take notes and listen attentively so i may learn something new i do not know.Munches can be a good learning experience for everyone even if you are experienced you can learn something new and it is fun to mingle and get to know people and maybe gain a friend or 2 in the process.

Since Master has been in this lifestyle for over 40 years he knows alot of people and is well liked and respected by many,and He is polite to everone and respects others views and lifestyles and never critisizes others,he treats others as he would like to be treated and so do i,even if smeone does not like me or thinks i am FAKE! along with my profile it does not matter to me,everyone has a right to their own opinion i still respect them and their views and opinions and if someone does not like me or Master or thinks we are fake i just move on because i do not feel i have to prove myself to anyone online or impress anyone or make them believe i am real or not.

I did not come here to fight with anyone or argue with others,the way i feel is if you like me you like me if not then thats ok with me as well we cannot like everyone and everyone cannot like you,and if someone thinks Master and i are fake! then i can't change what they think or how they feel,i just read the message respect their opinion and delete the message,becase i know who i am and who Master is and i know that our M/s relationship of 14 years is REAL! and i do not have to prove that to anyone,here on a BDSM website.

I know how behave and act with Master in our home and the only one i need to impress is my Master and the only one who needs to approve of me is Master and as long as He is happy with me and my service then that is all the approval i need,but i do respect others and i do respect you and your opinion of me and Master and my profile.You will either be my friend or you wont.you either think i am real or you don't i am not going to make you see me in a different way,and i am mature enough to accept negitive as well as positive feed back,and i will not say you are WRONG! because you think the way you want to think and who am i to change your mind?

All i will ask is if you do send me a message and you do not like me or think i am FAKE as one here did yesterday all i ask is in your negitive message toward me,my profile and Master you show me a little respect in your negitive thoughts and words.you can crtisize me all you want and not like me but please don't be NASTY or CRUEL with your words and know i will not respond to you in a negitive way,i will read your message i will respect it then i will delete it,because you have a right to think and feel however you like just do not throw any mean or cruel words toward me because i have not done anything to you or even know you here or in real life.you have a right to express yourself just do it respectfully thats all i ask of you,nothing more.

YOu all have a blessed dauy,

slave_bre!

Here is some food for thought,if you pre-judge others by their profile and journal entries without ever having chatting with them or exchanging messages with them,and say YOU ARE FAKE! from what you wrote in your profile and journal entries,then you risk being pre-judged yourself.

Good Day To All,
i hope you are enjoying your weekend. I often wonder what my life would be like if i had not met Master_John,would i continue searching for my PERFECT MASTER? would i be so FRUSTRATED not finding him and decide to get out of this BEAUTIFUL LIFESTYLE? could i be TRULY happy living a 100% VANILLA LIFESTYLE? i ask myself these questions quite often,and i honestly have to say I DO NOT KNOW THE ANSWERS! however i do know my life would seem EMPTY and i would not be fullfilled or very happy if i did not have Master_John! as my OWNER!

I made the choice to get involved in this lifestyle,I did alot of research on BDSM and a M/s relationship,i read many good books with alot of valuable reliable information,I went and still go to LEATHER AND ROSES! and EXCELLANT BDSM WEB SITE! with various topics and covers different things and i would HIGHLY! reccommend LEATHER AND ROSES! it does cover many topics of interest.

So after i did all the research and weighed the PROS AND CONS! of being a LIVE IN FULLTIME SLAVE! i decided it is what i wanted to be and i did not start to search for a MASTER about a year because i needed to gain knowledge and insight before i even began to start my search. and i also had to learn to weed out the PLAYERS,WANNABES and ones who just want a QUICK SEXUAL FANTASY!! i did not want FANTASY! i wanted REALITY! and REAL TIME! experience!

after i searched around for another 2 years i finally met MASTER in a BDSM CHAT ROOM! But not here! and we started a conversation and from oour first conversation i knew i wanted to get to know Master_John on a more personal level,so we started chatting emailing talking on the phone and finally we decided it was time to meet face to face and see if we were really compatiable with one another.

Master made reservations to come here to VERMONT! and we met at a local dennys and from the first time i layed eyes on Him and saw how HANDSOME! and Sophisticated He looked and dressed sooooo nice and smelt soo good i thought i would faint,lol

We had a nice dinner and we tlked and talked then we parted ways I came back to my place and He went to His hotle room,He was staying in a local HOLIDAY INN!! after seesing one another once a month for 6 months we finally had our first session and It was the most PASSIONATE experience i could ever have.it was INTENSE! PASSIONATE! and a bonding experience for me and MASTER and there was NO SEX INVOLVED it was not the time for SEX!

after the first session we both knew we wanted another and wanted to be together as MASTER and slave.so Master started making arrangements for coming up here to live with me,and now 14 years here we are happy and together and so much in love!!! He is AMAZING! and i could sit and talk with Him for hours and never become tired or bored.He has shared so much with me and i have done the same with Him,and i know for certain i would NEVER SERVE,LOVE or HAND over my life to another MASTER!

I will always be His SLAVE even after DEATH! I will always wear His COLLAR with PRIDE and HONOR and be 100% FAITHFUL,DEVOTRD AND LOYAL to only Him because He has given me so much! and I LOVE Him today,tomorrow and always! :-))

You al have a wonderful sunday,tke care of yourselves and each other and God Bless you and your loved ones!!

slave_bre!

Hello Everyone,

I would like to introduce myself,I will address myself by the name Master gave to me.

My name is slave_bre,I am 50 years old and live with my Master 14 years. He is 69 years YOUNG! and the sexiest MAN/MASTER ALIVE! to me. He gives me everything I NEED! and I say NEED! because WANT! is something i EARN and not freely given to me.

I met Master online but not here 14 years ago and eventually went REAL LIFE! and since i was not able to go o Him He came to me and moved in with ME! I have NEVER been happier with My choice of a Master He is SADISTIC but also compassionate and kind.I have learned so much from Him and have grown with Him as His slave.

The word NO! is not in my vocabulary because He knows what i like and He knows my LIMITS! and since I am 50 years and not able to play as I used to due to health issues I know how far i can go before i have to STOP! I have a SAFE WORD But rarely use it because i do not feel it necessary to use my SAFE WORD! after being Masters slave 14 years.

I like the fact that He makes our sessions exciting and with such passion.I never get bored. I am not allowed to sit on any furniture unless I ask permission to do so,I also eat my meals on the floor at Masters feet,and My leash is attached to His chair. I do everything for Master while He sits after a hard day at work and relaxes. I have my daily duties to perform and I am on a time limit i must get all my chores done by the time Master arrives home at 5pm and if they are not complete I am thrown in my PUNISHMENT CAGE over night!

I do as i am told at all times and I NEVER question or second quess Masters AUTHORITY! He makes all decisions for my best interests.I TRUST Master with my LIFE! and i freely handed over my life to Him 14 years ago. I make no DECISIONS! about our relationship or my well being,however,I am allowed to RESPECTFUALLY approach Him and ask Him if I may speak to Him if i have any issues,problems or i am not feeling well.

Master_John takes very good care of me and does what is best for me at all times. I am always polite and attentive to Master and his wants and needs.I wait on Hi and do whatever is asked of me without QUESTION! He has trianed me well.

so in closing I want to say I am happy to be here and I hope to make new friends and just have a nice time here with others who live this BEAUTIFUL! LIFESTYLE as i do. Thank you for your time and thank you for reading my journal entry! I am sure my stay here will be a good one :-)

slave_bre!

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Slautboy Male Submissive, 54, MontrealQuebec	slav22 Male Submissive, 28, rochester, New York	slate0620 Male Dominant, 33, Columbus, Ohio	Slade Male Dominant, 37, White Bear Lake, Minnesota

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