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We are an O/p 24/7 couple. slave rachel is a lifelong (age4) bondage lover, is a true masochist (age11) who has a drive for ever increasing submission. i work a full time job and serve Him through that as a part of O/p. i wear a 24/7 vanilla looking collar and will soon (May 2012) have an irremovable 24/7 replacement that is still vanilla looking enough...unless you look closer and see there is no way to remove it without special cutters or know the symbology.
Interestingly i am a "feminist." An odd name for it really. i believe all people should be paid equally for equal work. All women and men should be free to realize their full potential and live as who they inherently are. This includes consensual enslavement. i realize the "official" feminist movement assumes enslavement involves only women and think all people are or should be geared to egalitarian relationships. We know WE are not in that formula. It doesn't work for us at all. Been there, done that. Not us. Not me. Not Him. i am a slave and no amount of politics or therapy will change that. That is because there is nothing wrong with it, and Baby, i WAS born this way. i am growing more and more into protocol as i find that it enhances and actually facilitates the 24/7 mindset. When i show proper respect to other Masters and Mistresses, that "bleeds" over and i automatically have and show more respect for Him, the property Owner. This protocol includes titles for Masters and Mistresses. If THEY choose not to be addressed via protocol then of course i respect their decision. It is theirs to make.
Protocol has been growing and now includes calling ALL newly met (friends wouldn't get it) Sir, Ma'am, Mr, Mrs, Ms-until they offer an alternative.
i am now to defer to all others (not obey-as that is His realm and right) in matters of activity, in respect. By this- i may be required offer them "my turn", i am to be careful to avoid cutting across other's pathways but wait for them to pass in the street and stores. i have eye contact restrictions and may only make eye contact to Master or to people who are uncomfortable with me looking slightly downward. With each act of deference i mentally say a little comment of gratitude that i am allowed to serve in enslavement.
It is none of my business if people think i am servile or submissive. i am.
He is really pleased to see me shedding the armor i have had and i am becoming much more of a happy person. Nicer as well.
As "my" acquired things wear out, most except probably a computer will not be replaced. This will reduce items in the house and result in all things not only owned by Him, but only of His interest. He has the right to give things away as He sees fit and has done so.
For me, it makes me more cognitive of the position of a slave in the hierarchy of consensual enslavement. i now don't believe that i have the option of turning it on and off. If a person is a REAL Master/Mistress (not a fly by night or overnight wonder) then it is their position and i as a slave am logistically beneath them. Equal value as a living being, but in the hierarchy, they have a different "destiny." We have accepted our life positions and must each take responsibility for choosing to be real and accept our orientations. As a judge is called "Your Honor" by a citizen in the court, so a Master or Mistress is called Sir or Ma`am, or Miss often in BDSM company. It is the way that works for us. It is not submission to the individual, but to the hierarchy and our place within it.
i find it most fascinating to discover the depth of giving up all of my "rights" except life, limb, no arrestable, no non consent of others, i am consensual non-consent. (That means i have preconsented to whatever He wants).
We are always free to live as someone else, not ourselves if this is too hard. For me, it is too hard to NOT be me.
i am not to submit to anyone but Him without His order. Only one other person is submitted to and that is in a limited capacity.
i am only allowed casual visitation with Masters/Mistresses/Dom/mes. No playing. i don't want to lose my internet forum privilege and i am not going to disobey in any case.
Master is a mildly sadistic Dominant who is very inventive and likes to incorporate mindfucks into our world. He is retired. He pretty much hates forums etc, but doesn't mind me getting on them as long as His needs and desires are met and i have no other pressing things to do. Like go to work. LOL We are monogamous for now.
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"What personal growth is there for a slave?"
Sir, Let me count the ways. For me, There is a deep satisfaction in submission, reaching into the depths of me, like a meditation and a high. Satori's abound.
Serving Him and pleasing is a vehicle for me as being served and pleased is a vehicle for Him.
i have been told by a Mistress i met, that i am into "deep kink" meaning i guess i have an nth degree interest.
i consider enslavement, O/p as a form of extended bondage as well.
i do have to say, there is also a sexual excitement. In it's sensuous sense it simultaneously stimulates and/or satisfies many needs (some call kinks) at once.
Self Actualization and continuous self discovery in a way nothing else has accomplished.
i have embarked (or been embarked LOL) into a Practicing the Presence of Enslavement. Ever hear of the amazing book Practicing the Presence of God? i read that a few times years ago and now the same principles are applied to enslavement, meaning in everything i do i am in some way consciously applying His ways, and what enhances consistency in enslavement.
It is much easier than i thought and i have even had opportunities to test it for resiliency and to see if it left me prey or vulnerable to dysfunctional people. It did not. Knowing that and being willing to test it gave me a freedom to expand further what is already there.
See, that is the deal for me. It (enslavement) is already there. It is matter of allowing it to blossom. That requires i peel the onion of social training and theories, expectations, know myself (otherwise it couldn't do it) and allow it with the help of Master to come to fruition as Actualization.
We progress together.
It has made me a better person, a more patient and tolerant person. A more giving and caring person. A less selfish person. A real person and a joy to Him. It has brought me back to the me that takes pleasure in submission and serving, being useful. Even though it is not always comfortable to experience the reality that is me in it's uninhibited expression, it always results on a profound recognition of an inner core.
He tells me He is getting incredible joy from this, a sense of satisfaction He has never had before and that helps to confirm the rightness of this as in pleasing Him and serving Him HAS to benefit Him to be transformative to either of us.
i have lived on the other side by necessity, and never did i get this from it. Why? Because i am not OF the other side, i am from this side. Master belongs there and He experiences a compliment of this, in His Own way. i have found more of myself in a few years than in decades of being what i'm not.
So what do i get? Me
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Where to start. slavery in it's intensest form is often called "No Limits" slavery. In many ways it is true, in some ways some hyperbole.
When a slave agrees to go with a Master, they should know each other well enough that the slave knows how far the Master or Mistress will go. They will know kinks and aversions. They will know for absolutely certain they are with a safe Master. Not a psycho killer, or too ignorant to punish or do S/M safely. Not so self centered they won't be reasonable, or allow the slave some happiness, or indulge the slave in their kinks sometimes. The slave's limits are the Master's.
They know how much direct control the Master wants to actually use. Micromanage, or not. There are tons of considerations, poly or monogamy, restrictions, can the Master take care of His property and will the Master ever consider caring for or loving His slave? Can He be trusted completely and with PINS,passwords, email, mail etc. If not, then time to wait.
Rights/limits. So the slave matches with a compatible Master sharing as much of religion, politics, interests, and level of expected slavement as well. Limits are not just about kinky sex or S/M. THAT is important too. Neither will be happy if the other just can NOT do their important kinks. Nor will a relationship in which the slave is given too much to handle too often, they wll get emotional fatigue and leave. That is often when the slave ends up pressing charges i suspect. The Master must be interested in preserving His slave, taking care of them to be alive, healthy, all limbs, not arrested as a sex offender, and mental health.
The M/s is about the slave actualizing their true nature as a slave and the Master/Mistress as a Master/Mistress because that is their TRUE, authentic self.
Think of marriage. Would you marry this person?
No limits involves the amount of control in the relationships and this gets into "rights." CNC follows. So no limits includes the Master or Mistress determining where to live, who works, what clothes if any the slave wears and much more. Orgasm control, denial, chastity, forced orgasms? Remember M/s is NOT about fair but slavery. Slavery is not fair.
When all sizing up is done- (a long time is typical.) they may do D/s for a while to see how it works as a trial. A very good idea.
If all is well, then it is expected the slave will turn over ALL their rights and limits to the Master. They give ownership, authority, power to the Master or Mistress. What was once their body, is now the Master's to do with as they choose. The jobs they do is not their right to choose, though a smart Master will either choose well or decide not to interfere.
Rights become revocable privileges. The Master may allow the slave ALL of their hobbies, interests, etc, He may limit the time if the slave is taking advantage and not performing their duties properly. slaves learn patience a lot.
So a slave becomes property of a property Owner. The purpose of the property is to be useful, used and pleasing the Owner. Not themsleves- though obviously we know the slave is pleased as the slave IS an internal slave, consensual and aroused by it.
The Owner indulgers the slave if/when they want. The slave in actualizing learns to communicate all their feelings to the Owner, knowing it may or may not change anything He does. Of course again, the slave has hopefully chosen an Owner who is caring about the slave, and their fulfillment as well. The slave understands that actualization is not always fun, convenient or hot. It is often work. For many it is stressful. For some it is so natural it is barely work at all.
Once the slave and Master has been together for a long time, the slave usually gets to the point where they no longer think about the whys but begin to progess (takes anywhere from 6 months to years) to the point where they no wonder why, no longer feel what the Owner does with their property is the slave's business. S/He obeys and places their thoughts with how to please and perform best.
The Owner often enforces rules to change behaviors, limit behavior, encourage behavior and also helps the slave keep the mindset and the Owner knows there is control whether or not He is present. The slave has no choice. They are enslaved. The slave knows when s/he "signs up" that s/he is giving up choice. Not opinion, but choice. This does not mean the Owner won't let them choose, but then it depends on who the slave settled with. The MOST IMPORTANT CHOICE as it is the last RIGHT to choose they make.
If they are not enslaved they always have the option to leave. This becomes undesirable (except abuse) and the ultimate goal is Internal Enslavement in which the slave can not leave by their own internal processes. Usually this is called by the so called non-kink name Love.
The rules are usually involving things called rights by Free people and become revocable privleges once enslaved. Controlled only by the Master.
This again illustrates the necessity of the M/s getting to gether with the right people and abusers on either end are eliminated a prospects. Think marriage because the Master/Mistress/slave is in at LEAST as intense a relaionship as a marriage.
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i have been allowing my slave self to emerge. Rather than force, cajol or manage. i am simply allowing the onion skin to fall off. As this happens i have been running little tests in real life time to see how i can handle each stage. i report to Master Richard as i moves along.
i have found some great things out and it is even stirring memories of natural behaviors i had/have that were squelched, stifled and now allowed to grow and come to fruition.
i will do a small summary tonight to establish present state, then go back as needed tomorrow to fill out the hows and whys, as it is later than i thought.
As of now- enslavement ir truly reaching 24/7 not in symbolism or thoughts alone but in integrating it into everything i do. Master and i are amazed at the transformative process.
i began with a 4 week light duty job i did. Most people complained about it as instead of their regular job, they had to basically serve all the other staff. Obedience is given to every job level which is probably a part of why people didn't like it. They had to serve people considered lesser, as well as those greater. So i took it as a challenge, as way to enhance my enslavement and slave mindset.
The result was one boss and several employees wanted to create a Coordinator job title and keep me there. Doubtful the big boss will do it, but i don't care. The feed back and feeling i got, as well as when people were irritable was that i could serve wholly and not be vulnerable to dysfunctional people. i could still effectively spot it and deal with it, not be a doormat or prey.
Yet i could obey. i did well, i felt well. The others also thought i excelled.
The next level. So We thought try a step further. i need consistency. One problem that comes up a lot on boards is the shifting gear problem from job cares to home where one is expected and needs to
go from hassles and perhaps over worrying to submission to His will. Many have trouble with that. Part of the reason is compartmentalizing slavery to certain limited situations.
How to be consistent? How to stop compartmentalizing. What is hindering freely living as the slave i am.
One big thing was posting say in forums on FL and arguing a lot. That is really Topping, and stirring up the intellectual exercise on Dominance as it is for me. It is not an emotional rush at all, or hot. IT is just a tool. BUT to do it i must suppress my slave mindset.
So now i don't. i am only to talk a politely and respectfully as possible to everyone. NO arguing or challenging Masters/Mistresses/Dom/mes in public or public forums, no embarrasing them, no public corrections of a Dominant and avoided with slaves/subs as well. IF something seems a pressing need, i am to PM them or ask a Dominant involved in the board to give them a message etc. i am not to ever get rude or sarcastic to them ever. i am to apologize readily.
i am to remember my place in the hierarchy. There is a hierarchy in BDSM that includes Masters/Mistresses who are the superior position. Equal as life forms, spirit, but superior in the hierarchy of which i belong. i am a slave which is the inferior aka subordinate position.
This does not mean i submit to anyone, but Master Richard. i belong to Him. What this does mean is that i respect those in the hierarachy who are TRUE members as due them. i call a judge "You Honor", i call a Master Sir and a Mistress Ma'am or Miss, unless THEY prefer not. It is THEIR call, not mine. i am the subordinate, they choose their title.
Unless a Master or Mistress proves they are a poser, i am to respect without exception. i am not to make rash judgements. If something comes up, then i am to consult with a Master or Mistress involved on the board to give me their judgement about the potential poser.
So the next level-i am to drive near the speed limit and/or with flow of traffic. i am to defer (unless hindering those behind me) to all crossroads in which it is uncertain who got their first etc. If they show signs of wanting to go, i am to defer to them. If there is a parking place and we both see it, i am to defer. i am to defer to pedestrains tryig to cross the street when safe (no rear enders) and pretty much everyone on the road.
When in a store i am not to walk faster to beat someone to the door, but to defer to them, hold the door for them, if they need it. i am not to cross in front of others with the cart even if there is "enough time". Basically ANY aggressive or predatory like behavior is not allowed, (properly assertive is okay) no rudeness no matter how dumb somebody seems. i am NOT to act impatient in line. It is rude. It is NOT my job to "train them better" (somewhat anti slavemindset) i am to model His values at all times and refer to others i don''t know unless told otherwise as Miss, Mrs, Mr, Sir or Ma'am. i am to CLEARLY defer to them, respect them, offer assistance, or comply if they ask me to help if needed, say in reaching for something in a store i can reach, but they can't. Did that today and it felt great BTW.
So now the next level. Eye contact control i learned over the last decade to force eye contact as a control method. Some people are uncomfortable if you DON'T make eye contact, but most are uncomfortable if you do. A Dominating technique i learned around 2005 was to look down my nose, to their forehead if eye contact was too stressfull for them, though i did use the stare down as well.
So now i am NOT to make eye contact but to look slightly down, in a more deferring position, more clearly submissive. Like their nose level or mouth. Not enough to make them wonder, but enough to NOT intimidate. i can make eye contact if THEY need eye contact, but i am NOT to otherwise. The funny thing is i got new glasses transistion lenses. New to me and they REQUIRE i look slightly down. So the glasses force me to look a little lower so i have no choice. LOL Funny timing too.
Of course if a threat (bad guy, robber etc all that has to be put aside for self preservation)
So the idea is to quietly feed the slavemindset, let it be what it is. ALL of these behaviors are naturals for me, but they were badgered out by social training, friends advice etc.
Also all of these things were suggested by me, and Master and accepted by Him. He is very pleased i am returning to the person i was. i actually liked me better that way too because it is REAL not affected. So far it has been wonderful and i am MUCH happier, freer.
i also find little to no "gear shiftng" need, i am discovering the REAL meaning of 24/7. For me it has to be continuously lived whether with HIm or not. Not only following His dietary rules etc but in each behavior, enslaved mindset. Strange how the enslaved mindset is the great liberation of all!
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So there are revocable privileges. LOL Some are revoked.
All are geared to encouraging me to live more healthily and to remove barriers to authenticity and actualization.
NO candy. Ever. Don't ask. It is not a right, or even a privilege. Master will offer to allow it when He deems to.
Clothing rules. None in certain areas. Underwear only with jeans, most shorts exercising. With a skirt no. Slip yes to rpevent children and others to nonconsensual visiual. No bra per situation. Bedtime-no clothes. As revealing as possible daily considering activity (such as work or funeral, wedding etc) and weather, and type of people around.
Sex- when/if/how/where/who/ He wants. Absolute sex slave.
Orgasms belong to Him.
Poly/monogamous- per His choice
Share-per His choice.(safe sex though)
Remember no rights and i knew about this and am fine with it.
Money-A set amount to carry for lunch at work IF no suitable bag lunch stuff available. i must make every attempt to NOT incur costs eatig out if possible. Cards for gas for work. Otherwise i work for money, but it is His. i pay bills as a hated job. i am allowed to spend nothing without permission otherwise as He is in Ownership of me and therefore the money.
Bedtime- to be in bed to assure 7 hours min. sleep.
One snack allowed in the evening. Master is revamping diet and will make more healthy.
Exercise regularly
Can have coffee in AM, and Mt Dew Diet in afternoon, can have more if very tired etc but no more than 3 times a week. No more flavored drinks. Only water or milk otherwise. To cut unnecessary costs, and healthier. He has preferred this for years.
Must of course obey on command.
In public
These in NO way mean i am to submit/obey other than Master Richard. i am only to follow these rules.
The "privilege" of taking over, acting aggressive, Dominant/Topping in public is revoked. (and i am soooo glad)
Defer to all Masters/Mistresses, Dominants, or Free
Politeness helps integrate enslavement with consistency and reduces counter productive processes aka combativeness, aggressiveness vs assertiveness. Assertiveness is encouraged. Knowing the difference is critical. Topping, even if "justified" with bad/slow drivers is counter productive to cultivating the slave mindset.
Automatic respect/deference for all Dominants unless proven posers
Unless it is uncomfortable for the other person, no eye contact, looking slightly down ( LOL new glasses force that!) not as a lesser person in value, but in respect, and to remember place in hierarchy AND eliminate the temptation to "stare down to intimidate and Top."
All new people/strangers are to be addressed by appropriate title Sir, or Ma'am. Then Mr, Mrs, or Miss if known. . This is subject to THEIR comfort level and i will refer to them as they say.
Their jobs, financial/educational/social status is irrelavent to the above public interactions.
It is none of my business if they think/know i am submissive. i no longer have to hide that. No false image to project. i am His not theirs. It does not make me a doormat to them. False images are rarely necessary. If they see me as being "less than" for that, it is on them. i am no longer going to reassure friends etc that i am "doing it right" by doing is wrong for me.
i have a line between respect and dysfunctional behavior. i can use the tools of Dominance for self protection as in the sense if a mugger type etc comes near.
i do have the option to avoid dysfunctional asshats though and can fend them off!
Since i have been obeying these i have had a load off and am much happier and nicer.
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