slaveinbox

Well, i guess that's it.  After, well... i guess it's years now, i guess, of searching, i know Who i want to own me, but They don't want me, which i totally understand, but no other Dominant has the same mix of qualities, the same match of kinks and approach, the same kind of ownership and care.  So... yeah, the Owner search is over.  Which is fine, this has been a grwth experience, the Women i've met have been wonderful and indulgent (wish i could say the same for me... i was courteous i think but i've been both confused (innocent) and selfish (mean).  If i had to do it over, i would be... someone else, i guess.  But i gave of myself as best i could, and i think i gave it as honest a try as i could.  You were wonderful for and to me, and i do appreciate it, Very Much.  Hugs and Kisses! ;)

          Be that as it may, i am more now than i was before, this growth and searching has been fun and empowering, the sharing and writing and reading and talking has been invaluable, and i do find my circumstances changing and things moving in positive directions.  So, while i didn't find my Owner on this site or in this life, i think this adventure has made me a better (potential) vanilla partner.  i don't think the kink on its own as a fetish is an issue, it was more about mindset and life choices to me anyways, i think.  i don't really thing there are 'things', this is or that ritual or practice, that i won't be able to live without.  i just want to feel boob.  If W/we're being totally honest, of course.  No need to complicate things, is i guess what i'm saying. ;)  So, onwards down the road in the journey towards another adventure.  Better for it.

          Not sure to be honest if this'll be read, never really was, and its pretty personal, ie not of interest to others.  Whatever, that's what this journal is for, right?  So, i guess either i'll archive and delete my profile, or leave it up for the occasional browse.  Not sure... though I'm leaning towards delete.  Simpler.  If Y/you did read this far, I wish Y/you all the best, Hope Y/you're treate with Respect and Caring, and Thank You for being in my life just a little.  Wish me luck in the vanilla dating pool! ;)

sib.

feeling... feeling like it would like to be blindfolded in its owner's cage.  Feeling like it would like to be awakened from a drowsy slave sleep by a prod, by a stick poking it from rest to ready, up on all fours in its cage, awaiting the experience.

A large cup of cold water spalshes over it.  Either it didn't come to attention quickly enough to satisfy Owner, or Owner feels like pushing hard tonight.  Either way, it is shivering.  With cold and expectation and anticipation.  it can't take it.  The desire to be taken, to be raped, to be used and abused.  Mistress reaches a slender hand into the cage's feeding hole, to latch on its leash.  Expected, but a good indicator Mistress is not in a hurry.  A tug on its neck makes clear the leash is attached.

The door opens.  it awaits the tug, which comes directly.  it exits the cage, careful to pause when it is out and in front of its habitat.  Another tug leads it in the proper direction.  it is lead to the "metal palm", stirrups and a tushy support that leave it facing up, package ready for CBT, face ready to be ridden, tushy able to be angled up for face to slave-face penetration.  When it realizes the intended support, it purrs slightly, and poisitions itself to help Mistress bind it to its post.

it feels figers, Her fingers, caressing its face.  it is so grateful, so pleased, so desperate to make good.  it shudders ecstatically.  it feels a 'light' whip being lain across its chest.  A chin strap dildo is attached to its slave-head.  Mistress rubs Her hips against its head, reaching down to release its manhood from the device.  slave knows what this means.  But it feels good all the same, especially as Mistress carresses its package, massaging it gently to erection, tugging at it a bit.  Getting it ready.  For its fate.

Mistress retrieves the whip from its chest, and straddles its abs.  it can feel Mistresses' thighs and luscious bottom sidle up slave's body, still tugging now at then at its engorged manhood.  When Mistress gets to slave's neck, it feels Her lift, lowering Herself onto the dildo and then onto slave's lips.  it can tell from the delicious feeling that Mistress has parted Her perfect orbs, to better give slave access to Her twinkle star.  Slave's lips strain against the restraints, and slaves' tongue find its Home.  Swirling, poking, licking, drawing up the folds and curves and back to its heart, to its home.

Now and then, slave feels the whip gently kiss its manhood.  At other times, it can feel Mistress tug, play, pull, squeeze, jerk, twist, and shove, entertaining Herself as slave's tongue seeks its home, as the thrusting against the dildo produces deeper and deeper effects.  At times, slave must bite its tongue, but mostly, it is trained now, it no longer needs the open mouth gags.... it simply perseveres nd enjoys.  Enjoys what and how it is.  Mistresses' thrusting becomes more insistent, it feels Her reach now and then to part and allow it the same deep reach.  More, more more....  the only time slave feels any control, the only time slave feels Mistress is less than eattentive.  Her pleasure is filling Her.  Soon, it will erupt.  Find home.  Push harder.  Ignore the pummeling of its cock, ignore its own needs and desires, push further.... it can feel it.  It can feel Her.

Cums streams out of Mistress and covers its face.  it tries to suck and swallow as much as it can, but the chinstrap didldo leaves it a disadvantage.  it tries as best it can.  Mistress slaps slave's manhood a bit for good measure, then stands up off its face/dildo.  Mistress turns, strokes slave's prone head, gives it a few strokes with the whip.  Mistress straddles slave's face once more, facing up this time.  it feels Her fingers pinch its nose.  A warm, salty flush hits its face.  it knows... it knows... it must swallow as much as it can.  Mistresses' fluid is precious, even late at night, even tired, at all times.  slave gulps and drinks and swallows as much as it can.   it is whipped more.  it is released, rebound to its harness, and led on its knees to suck up the juices off the floor, an occasional strike reminding of its place and its owner.

it is lead back to its cage, on all fours of course.  Backed into its cage, bound to its destiny.  The lid shuts and the click tells it is locked in.  Another splash of cold water.  it settles onto its wet blanket, spent and used.

"Good slave"  Mistress says as it hears a light click off.  All is well in the world. ;)

A potential Owner seems to have forgotten it... it hurts, it feels so cold, and yet, it knows, only a portion of the cold it will feel under Her Ownership.  It's times like this it wonder; Why?  Why does being locked in a cage, subject to regular whippings, disclipline, service.... giving without receiving... why does it make sense?  Maybe it shouldn't.  Certainly, certainty, a lack of ambiguity, real caring and being cherished.... this is part of it.  But it comes from somewhere deepere, and it wishes it understood why....

Ideas for Her.....

http://www.extremerestraints.com/miscellaneous_51/remote-shock-puppy-trainer_158.html

lexan paddles

puppy bell/whistle

(Sigh)