slavedreamz

My heart feels like a satellite knocked out of orbit, tumbling through space aimlessly, lacking the guidance and purpose I need, seeking the gravitational pull from the missing center of my universe, my Master.

I don't know how I appear so fully organized and together on the surface and so lost and emotionally agape inside.  The same dichotomy I suppose that creates a confident and insecure woman.  How those exist at the same time I don't know, but they do.  As does an incredibly strong, independent woman who is also a submissive, and a 43 year old little girl who wants her Daddy.

I use to fight the paradox within me.  Wanting it to make sense when it simply doesn't.  I have long since given up that fight and accept my innate complex nature.  Beyond acceptance, I've embraced it, finding it useful to be able to understand and function at both ends of the spectrum.

It was such a wonderful thing to have a man who understood me.  I never had to explain.  But that time has passed and I am left tumbling through space.

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.

-Poe