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I have had a very difficult time recently, but must move forward with an optimistic mind set. |
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No there are absolutely NO real Mistresses on here anymore! What a shame |
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Is there anybody real out here anymore? Even I am doubting it now! |
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I seem to get lots of fake scam mistresses sending me messages. I imagine this happens to most subby guys on here. These purveyors of the scams probably see subby guys as weak and desperate! Well I am neither weak or desperate I am only guilty of being genuine and serious. |
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I am still looking. I am very real and genuine about what I seek, probably more so than most on here, but still nobody seems to take me seriously. Well I have had some interest but nothing coming of any of it yet. I'll keep searching. |
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OK, I have been away for a while but now I am back and having a look to see who is new and if there are more than a handful of real lifestyle Mistresses in the whole world. I do think sometimes that the odds for Euro millions are actually better than the odds for finding a real Mistress here. Well let's see if things might have changed |
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Well, 2016 begins and I do hope things will improve over 2015. Over the last year I have found so many time wasters. I had come to the conclusion that I will not meet my perfect Mistress on-line, especially on Collarspace. I had stopped looking towards the end of 2015 because, if I commit to someone then I really commit and over the course of 2015 I found either scammers or people who did not have that same commitment that I have. I will, however, continue to look although I am not holding my breath. I am very well known and liked in the fetish scene in London, being one of the top fetish club photographers in London and if I ever manage to put my camera down for a while I wil probably meet my ideal Mistress in one of the many clubs I attend on a regular basis. |
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I have not been on Collarspace very much lately because I seemed to have a slight problem with the site. However, everything seems ok again so I am sure I will be on much more often even if that does just lead to further frustration and disapointment! |
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My search to find a Mistress to totally Own me has been a life time quest. I remember well my very first experience of wanting to be the slave to a powerful Lady. I have such a clear vision of this experience running through my mind like a film with all the detail minutely on display. It is as clear as day as if it was happening right now, yet this was forty six years ago! This was a defining moment in my life that has been the major controlling influence on the course of my whole life. From that moment onwards, forty six years ago, although at the time I did not know this, but I would become incapable of ever having the ability to alter the trajectory of where my life was heading.
It has been a long and winding road that has seen wonderful and sometimes almost fairy-tale or mythical extracts of my dreams materialize before my very eyes and now evoke memories to behold, deep within my heart and soul, for all eternity. Coupled with this have been some of the most excruciating and emotionally tormenting times that anyone could ever endure. Yet despite these times one still has to keep going because one is being drawn to the light and one has no power to resist this force from within that has compelled one to throw the capacity for rational thought out of the window! Still we go on, up and down, in and out, looking, searching, diving through hoops of burning fire for this utopia that we deceive ourselves is just around the next corner.
I won't say that it has been an easy journey and I am certainly no where near journey's end, but I now feel that things have changed. I have not changed in any way from what I want, need and desire but the difference is more to do with dreams and beliefs and the belief in ones dreams. Furthermore, if one ceased to believe in ones self and ones dreams could never be reckoned to materialize then surely one has to question the futility of a life less ordinary and the perpetual struggle hostile to societal expectations. As many of us will know, what seems so perfectly natural to me is often frowned upon and ridiculed by mainstream society as being some freakish and evil sub culture. Therefore anyone who embarks on such a voyage as I have over my lifetime will be subject to a twilight existence.
So does there come a time when one ceases to believe that ones dream will ever come true? This is not a fairy-tale and there is unlikely to be a happy ever after. The castle has been repossessed and you are chasing the dragon down the rabbit hole and the bunny boiler is by the kitchen stove. If you stop believing what would be the point of going on, but if you cease your journey might you just be denying yourself the chance that the end of the rainbow is just around the corner? |
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I am going to leave this profile live but I have now given up on this whole thing. All I have had is my time (life) wasted by selfish, greedy, self-centred, rude, ignorant money grabbing fakes! If there are any real people on here who might wish to contact me then please do but I won't be holding my breath! |
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I am very serious about my lifestyle choice. I am talking with a very real, naturaly dominant Lady who believes in Female supremacy. I am trying very hard to show her that my will to serve is from very deep inside my heart. Right now all I can do is hope that the real boy shows through. |
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What do I really need or want? There is no doubt in my mind now that what I want is what I have always been searching for: Real, true slavery 24/7 TPE live-in! |
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Why do I only find Dominants that want money out of me? Can't they see that I am real and what I need is so far from what they offer. I am an honest person and all I ask is honesty in return. There is a place for Doms who want money from a submissive, but not in my world. I am not stupid and I know what I need. Please stop wasting my and your time! |
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Well here I am again. I have been in a long term Mistress/slave relationship for the last five years. I have changed much as a person, but my core values and desires are still the same. So, once again I seek the One... |
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Today is my birthday!
By coincidence it is also Club Pedestal tonight:
www.clubpedestal.com
This is the worlds best female domination club. It is held in central London. What better way for a deeply committed male slave to celebrate his birthday than in a club where Ladies rule absolutely.
Also, I have been involved in the promotion and running of club Pedestal for the last three years. It is truly submissive male heaven. I cant wait! |
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I now have a different photograph in my profile. This shows me more in my true sense and in my proper place; at the feet of a Lady. I hope this illustrates that I really do belong at the feet of a Lady. Just need to find the right Lady (?)
Not sure where my last profile photo went. It is no longer showing in my gallery and I do like that photo of me. |
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I have just added another photograph to my profile. It might take a couple of days for approval. Sorry for this. |
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SO FRUSTRATING:
I always find profiles seeking a 24/7 live-in slave that are so compatible with what I seek. Not frustrating in itself. However, these positions are always in other parts of the world. I would relocate, but the USA is so difficult.
Where are all the Ladies in UK seeking a 24/7 live-in slave? |
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I am finding, from reading the profiles of Dominant Ladies, that there seem to be so many fakers amongst the malesubs here on Collarme. This is very frustrating for those of us who are real because I feel we all become tarnished with the same brush.
I seem to read more and more jaded profiles from Domme Ladies. It is a shame that people play around with other peoples emotions and lives. |
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My legs seem to be taking longer to heal than I presumed. At present I am stuck. I cannot walk well enough to leave the flat. This is so frustrating! |
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I sent an email to a Lady on this site end of last week. When I checked today I found the email had been deleted unread! How strange. Dont know what I did to deserve this. |
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Wow what a week! I have been working so hard this last two months. Long hours, out in the rain and cold. Just trying to get everything straight. Things had been really looking up financially and then Wham! I got hit by a black cab yesterday on my motorbike. Now I am off work and walking on crutches.
However, I am alive and life goes on. |
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It is the Rubber Ball weekend here in London. A very busy weekend for all who are involved in the London scene. I will be working at the Xpo in the Barbican promoting my friends club; Eyecandy. Hopefully I will meet lots of new people and old friends.
I have sent an email to a Lady who I believe could be compatible with me. Just have to wait and see if I receive a reply. |
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Well it has been a strange week. Highs and lows. I have learned a few things too.
I wont go into detail. Just learn and move forward. |
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I had a surprise today. I had a very positive response to my profile and an email I sent out.
it might come to nothing, but it helps me to remain positive about finding an Owner when I get a reponse.
I am going to Club Pedestal on Thursday. Always a good night. Totally femdom and my dream world. I was a bit disapointed though because I had agreed, several months ago, to accompany a friend as her slave (she is not really Domme, just wishes to roleplay for fun). There will be a group of us (Mistresses and slaves). However, I learned tonight, when I told her I would be able to focus on her (instead of working as a house slave as I usually do) when she told me I am not going to be exclusively with her as there will be others she will spend time with. Not her fault as she does not understand how I feel about serving and wanting to focus on a Mistress. I know I will spend time alone because I will not compete for attention. This is my way. I will end up backing right off. I cant help it. This is how I am.
My insecurities and low self esteem when others are competing for attention. My problem. DEAL with it! |
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The search goes on!
It seems that it is taking a lifetime. Well it is. I have been searching for my ultimate goal (to become an Owned slave) all my adult life.
I have come close to this on a number of occasions, but still this eludes me. I know that I am in competition with many for a few. How to stand out? This is always the problem. I have managed to stand out from the masses before, I know I will again. I just need to touch the imagination of the right Lady. |
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My search is now intensified. I am no longer compromising on what I seek.
I do wish to be an Owned slave. I have compromised in the past, but now it is make or break time!
Knowing what I need and seeking this does not take away from my submissive qualities. I am single minded in my search, but this is because I am totally confident in what I have to give.
It is simple: I wish to live my life in a certain way. I always have, but now I am confident I can find this lifestyle. I am a confident slave, but is this a bad thing? |
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I have written some emails to some Mistresses. Although I have been a member here for some years this is the first time I have done this.
I have decided to do this because I feel I need to step up my search for a real 24/7 fully Owned Mistress/slave relationship. |
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