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I have very particular taste in men, you may never be what I truly desire. |
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It's been a long while since I ventured back to this place, I'm surprised by the reality of things. It's not so easy to avoid the ideas you long for. |
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'I read your profile and realize you do not want to speak to younger men...but I'm messaging you anyway.'
This is too common and very disrespectful. You read my profile and decided to disobey my wishes. This does not make you a submissive or a slave. This shows how much you need to realize you are not fit for what you think you seek. If I say do not message me if you are something you are not...DO NOT MESSAGE ME!
They are very simple orders, if you can't or won't follow them. Then you are not anything I could ever desire. |
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I don't care if you have SKYPE, or want to pay me to blackmail you. Unless I ask for it, unless I sink so low. I don't want anyone's money. I want a submissive. One that I desire, one that I choose for my tastes...and not theirs. |
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It seems this site is changing things. I'm a bit sadden by this. |
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I wasn't aware saying 'goodbye' could bring such backlash.
I'll stand by what I said, but who knew such a dominate male could be so. Disrespectful, towards someone who never did the same to them.
Insightful. |
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Let's be revealing.
I want an older man, no...I want two.
No dresses, no chastity, just lust and brutality.
Comfort and connection, stability and imperfection.
I want lovers both for each other and for me. I desire what is unrealistic and perfect. In a world that gives nothing away for free. |
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I just feel like drowning. |
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I'm a simple person. I know when I'm interested in someone and not. |
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At times I think of having two men under my control. It's so tempting, but unrealistic in my reality. |
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Life always has a feeling of Chaos lurking around every corner. |
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I adore your imperfections. They captivate every part of me. |
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I miss you and everything to come for us. |
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Where the people go on the average dates? I'm trying to form ideas in my head for something of worth. |
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Accept reality is a possibility. Let us be and let us be free. |
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Captivate me, my imperfect human. Let me have you as you are and fear nothing that is to come. |
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Your touch send chills through me. It's been too long since I've felt such sensation. |
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So close, you are so close to being mine. If only I could just take you and not fear the consequences! My desire, my thing of beauty. So flawed, so perfect. |
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The wait is agonizing but you are worth it, my desire. |
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I've passed the time in a wasteful way.
Tonight I'm back to my normal routine of things. Tomorrow I may see my desired...Today, I hope I hear something from them. |
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The silence between us now is so cold. I'm hoping things are well. I need to know he is well, and we are on a better path towards one another. |
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I'm coming so close to what I desire. The timid can not be forced. If I am to ever have what I need. |
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I want to push away the formalities and corrupt the morality! He's all I desire and my desires are so limited in this day and age. Nothing interests me but he has kept my attention for so long...I must have him! |
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He says he likes powerful and vengeful women...if only he knew the truth of me. |
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You're all I desire and all I may ever need. So why don't you fall to me and accept that this is reality? |
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Why must work be so tedious? |
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The day of rest will be short and the night of work will be long. *sigh* |
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So many people blocked, so early in the day. Too many young boys who don't understand. |
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My last day off before the work week starts. :( |
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I've been away from this site for months and the same people come messaging me. Making the same mistakes as before.
*sigh* |
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So much has changed in a short amount of time. My life is not what it once was. Yet I still feel the emptiness and longing. Wanting and needing something it seems I can never truly have.
Why must I be so tormented by my desires? Even more so now that I find myself drawn to someone so near to me. Someone I'm trying so hard to get close to. Without the fear of them pushing me away.
Those eyes, that seem devouring. That smile that makes me feel so warm.
The look of them embodies all I find attractive in a man...and they seem so difficult to corrupt and yet could bend so easily to my will. If only I wasn't afraid to lose them in the process of taking them for my own.
If only I could truly have them for my own. |
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Ah, profiles. What are you even for!? Oh right, information! Silly me, I thought it was just there to make us all look pretty and appealing to people. I mean, you can't actually learn anything from a profile! Just see a nice picture and think, yep. I'll insult this person today by lying to them or not following their rules.
Oh the life I lead, finest of fine. |
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Everything I want out of life. I'll never have.
How harsh is that? |
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*sigh*
I hate the weekends when I need to earn cash. There are just never enough surveys.
But I know...
I seem to needlessly rant on this site so much. I'm such a bore. lol |
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Someone said to me; 'I bet I could turn you on by buying you things.'
Is that even possible!?
I mean I get excited buying stuff for myself...but I couldn't see getting excited the other way. Then again; I don't get the whole thrill of people giving other people their money.
I've tried but I fail at the apeal. It's just too hard to fathom. |
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Wasting cash is my favorite pass time. It makes me feel better. Less depressed and more happy than anyone has ever made me feel. |
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'Your profile seems interesting...' Says the boy who's clearly has not read it.
Such a submissive!
Who falls at the demands of women!
Yet can't follow a simple request? For shame dear boy, for shame. |
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It's been a long and tiring day. I'm sore all over. :( |
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Up early, but nothing to do until the afternoon. *sigh* |
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No worries, and more. Things are too good right now. |
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A long weekend, but enjoyable time alone. |
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Today has been pretty dull. I'll get to messages tomorrow.
I'll need something to do in between surveys. Just need a little be more money. To buy something nice for the weekend.
I'll be all by myself until Sunday after tomorrow night.
I'll need something to pass the time. ;D |
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I've had an odd amount of dominate men messaging me today. It's an interesting thing. It's usually a rarity. |
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Some told me to be more direct about what I want.
I want a video game, why do you ask?
At least when I try to control it...it does what I need it to. |
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Time to shower and fully wake for the day. I've got to try and push away the negativity.
On my own it would seem. |
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What do these women say on here?
Pay tribute for I need all!?
I'm at a loss tonight. Such things are rare for me. |
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Things have been going too well, now I'm out my hard earned cash.
Of course it must happen this way.
Too much good always must be paid back somehow. *sigh* |
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I think it's funny someone got offended that I wasn't messaging them. So they took the time to read my profile. Then decided to say in a the last message.
'If you don't deal with younger men, state it.'
I believe it is stated...on my profile.
I'm sorry you wasted your time, it's your own fault. Such a submissive you are. Snapping back at nothing. |
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Sitting up doing surveys on random sites to buy something worthwhile. So tedious, but it's nice to get what you want. |
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I've been actively getting messages. This is an odd thing to see these days. |
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I get bored with people too easily these days. Though a person who clings is always the most boring. |
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Tonight was the best, my beautiful stranger. I know this will not last. It will just be so hard to ever let you go. |
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The things you showed me today, so sweet and simple. You're already becoming my next addiction. |
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I don't think I've been so interested in someone in so long. If only I could have all of you. The possibilities would be endless. My beautiful stranger. I desire more. |
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'slave4woman'
Is a fake using pictures of an actor and claiming it's them. The actor they used when message me was Raoul Bova.
I'm sure said picture will change though after I called them out.
Either way, be cautious of said fake.
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Another day has passed, and a year has gone by. |
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Messaging me on my fetlife account after I've done so much to already point out I have no interest in you. Will not change my lack of interest. You will simply be blocked and never thought of again. :) |
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Back home and safe! Life is stable once more. |
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Have do to evacuate home.
It's not been a good couples days, and the worst is yet to come. |
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Sitting up trying to enjoy the day and earn a bit of cash for things. Tedious work is the best and worst. *sigh* |
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LOL
Gotta love an idiot who gets blocked and then gets on another account to insult someone and block them in return.
You're trying too hard.
*sigh*
It's a good night. |
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If you're going to message me, and tell me you're not going to waste time on me.
Guess what!? You wasted time!
Bravo. *claps* Gotta love the so called strong willed who are trying to bullshit you.
Then block you. 'Marksalot', you're a little bitch. Hope you find all you seek and never try and contact me again. |
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Today was a good day! Money fell at my feet and I ran amuck through the streets.
*sigh* |
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I love getting messages from people asking me something. Then I answer them and they are never heard from again.
This is just too typical for this site. |
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I'm sitting up doing surveys to waste cash on useless things...and I just sigh at the tedious work. Thinking someone should come along and do it for me.
Then I get a message from someone and find out I'll be inheriting some money soon.
No this isn't from a scammer. It was from a relative of mine who is a trustworthy individual.
Very odd turn of events...but I still must sit and do surveys. Until the money comes in. XD |
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If you are here to just take money from people!
There are safer ways on the internet for that. I suggest doing surveys!
Want to waste your time anyhow!?
Might as well make sure you are actually getting something for it!!!
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I've gotten some odd messages tonight. Not sure what's going on with those. |
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So after joining FetLife I've been joining groups and reading over posts. One of the groups I joined seems to have this person who is heavily opinionated.
In the group, I was reading a well presented post with a female asking questions that I myself would ask. Instead of getting information she was looking for. She received someone basically stating in her own words.
'If you can't find it out yourself, you're not a real dominant.'
Now that is a heavy opinion for said person to make. When I'm sure there was a time she was asking question about such things herself.
Remember everyone learns things differently!
Some people do research things before asking questions. Asking questions helps further things you already know and make sure those things are in fact true.
Saying something like that to someone trying to learn something is disrespectful.
If you're a dominant saying stuff like that to another dominant. You shouldn't be considered one. It shows you don't in fact care about the lifestyle you are trying to lead.
This is my opinion, but you have to see there is truth in it. |
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I've joined FetLife. You can find me with the same name, but a with picture of myself. |
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Thought I'd be able to get out, run around town and go shopping today. Try and feel less depressed this weekend. Just not sure that is going to happen. :(
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Wanted to start posting pictures in my journal entries but guess that isn't going to work.
*sigh* |
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I guess I'll have to ask right out.
Would anyone be okay with telling me how to post pictures in my journal entries?
Please, and thank you. :) |
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Feeling so worn from the day. I should rest and try and think of better things to come. Perhaps a man or two, but those aren't better things. Those are just interesting dreams.
Like praying for money to fall at your feet. It just won't come without reason.
Maybe I should find a reason. :) |
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I usually come on here and read journal entries to see how everyone is doing. This morning has been very discouraging. I'm not sure what the images are doing for said person. I just feel they aren't helping other members on this site. |
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Tonight has been dull and unrewarding. |
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I have no idea the point in Dominant men messaging me. Trying to find a submissive female but this right here made me sigh. Such a true gentleman.
'Oh, I'm not interested in you. You'd be too much trouble...you've got yoru wires crossed. I'm not interested in fixing someone's wiring. You're submissive. Because you have a pussy between your legs. You just don't know it yet. But you will...when you meet the right man. (Which you haven't yet.)
Take care. (And I have nothing but contempt for the idiots who "submit" to you! lol)'
WriteMaster2016
You've broken my heart WriteMaster, to say anyone who submits to me is an idiot.
That hurts. |
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I feel I may do a profile overhaul soon. A change is needed. |
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I guess I have nothing better to do then get lied to, and have plans backed out on. What is the point? Try and try again? Yet nothing comes of your excuses?
It's sad, but not worth the time. I've wasted enough on you. |
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Tried on a corset I bought last year for an event.
Turns out I've lost more weight than I thought. I couldn't even get the corset around my waist and now it buttons up fully. It's just been sitting in my dresser since last year.
Guess I can start using it now, if I need to. |
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I'm really not having a good day. |
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| 9/15/16 at 2:11 AM: |
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Hi Goddess, I know it's late, but can I please tribute you?! I have pay pal, gift rocket, or amazon |
What no playstation cash card!?
Not going to lie; I'm thinking about deleting the journal entries where I talk about 'financial domination'. I feel like it's doing more harm than good for me.
It's an interesting concept, but my comfort and safety are what's important.
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In my last entry I spoke of something I have begun to desire. I've gotten messages in that time asking about that. Individually I've not wanted to talk about it. It would get tedious repeating myself. So if people seem to be reading these more. Then I might as well answer the question here.
I've never wanted to live a 'vanilla' lifestyle. Everyone wants comfort though, love and affection. Of course on their own terms.
What I want is more than that.
I've been around men that tell me they want to have more than one woman in their lives.
Which is something a lot of men say without care. While few believe in a 'poly' lifestyle.
Yet they never think about the other way around. Two men being with one woman. If it is thought about though. It's thoughts of pornos and not a true life experience.
So what I have begun to desire outside of a BDSM lifestyle. Is to have two men in my life. To be in a relationship with two men. A true relationship, feeding off one another. Comfort, love, and lust...three people giving to each other. Man, man, and woman.
It's not something I've ever voiced, but I've dreamt of it many times. I'm sure it's my subconscious telling me. I'm never going to forget the desires.
I just understand even in this new age. It's not something that could become a reality.
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What I have begun to desire seems to be less in the BDSM community. The only problem is, I'm not sure where to go to seek it out. Nor am I certain it isn't something I can find here.
Maybe it can be, but with how men behave on here. I don't see that being the truth. :( |
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I keep getting messages in my inbox from men. Saying they want to pay me for things, or want me to dominate them financially. Now that's great, I'm getting to the point that it sounds like a decent idea.
Here is the problem with these situations. They are bullshit, and you're trying to trap what you consider 'fake' accounts that agree to give you what you want.
{What you are asking for!?}
The thing is; I'm not here to just give you what you want. What I'm here for is myself and whether you get something out of my time. Doesn't exactly concern me as much as you might think.
Which is why I pretty much ignore 95% of the people that message me these days.
I'm sure you're ready to give me your 110% percent...but if I'm not interested in what you have to give. {Money included.} Then I've no need to waste my time.
Since everyone on here seems to want to 'give/get' the same things. *sigh*
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Why is there always someone randomly sending people messages about things that if you were to accept. The would cry before you ever came close to them. It's sad to see someone send you a message about.
'Paying you to tie them up and use them like an ash tray'
Yet when you turn them down, for lack of interest. You are fake, because you don't want to be a common whore?
As I've said before, I don't do anything for money. I won't even accept gifts unless I've know someone for a decent amount of time. It's out of respect, even if you find pleasure or humiliation from such tasks.
I wish people like this would drown out and vanish from this site. Their behavior and bad spelling is irritating. Not even in a good way. |
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I'm starting to feel a bit better through out the days. I've lost weight, started volunteering and earning money I've needed. Everything seems to be getting better and hopefully soon I'll be in a stable place.
I need that right now. I've needed that more than finding a submissive. Even if I've wanted to find one. It wouldn't help as much as I'd like it to.
Letting yourself out on someone only helps so much.
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I'm partly avoiding this site until I can feel really up to interacting with someone full on. Being depressed as I have been is putting a lot of things off for me. The annoyances and just uncertainty of messages is not something I can handle at the moment.
I have tried but it just wasn't worth it.
So I'm going to enjoy my guilty pleasures and just take care of myself.
Which means playing videos games and working out. Stuff to just clear my mind and do until I'm numb from repetition. |
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Alright I'm off and on answering messages. Why am I doing this?
Because unless I feel fully up to answering a message I don't. I would like whomever I message to have my full and undivided attention.
Right now I'm mostly answering people I can outright say I'm not interested in. What I keep seeing though is a lot of guys sending messages about. 'Shopping' for me and jerking themselves off.
I'm all for getting gifts but nowhere on my profile says I'm into 'financial domination'. To be honest I've never understood it. I say this because I keep getting messages like this. It's kind of feeling repetitive and also like a set up.
Like one person asked me if I was into FD and I answered them truthfully. They then said that they were just asking because they didn't like it.
Did they think I was going to be like; Well if you want to bow down to me. I'm going to need some cash for you to do that!
Seriously!? You are submitting to me. I would have to say that's worth more than the mighty dollar. 'Gifts' are one thing 'paying' someone to dominate you seems unreasonable.
Then again I'm guessing you who do this want to feel...cheap and degraded.
So have at it. |
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Learning the audio journals on this site is unnerving. They don't have features with the audio portions that you would like to see. Like just a playback feature would be nice. I have never liked the sound of my voice so it's already difficult enough trying to get through these without such a feature available.
It would also help to see if your mic is actually recording. Since trying to do so in the settings just seems to show it breaking in and out.
(This could just be happening to me though.) |
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I've been thinking about making audio journals on here. I wonder if it would be worth it. After listening to some by other dominants. It seems like it could be something to get into. |
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It feels like this site has calm down some. Perhaps it's just because I've been away for so long. Maybe it just happens to be a slow night.
It's sad to say depression brought me back. That kind where anxiety is invading your chest and you seek control. Perhaps even something to control, just to ease the tension. That would be nice but I'm concerned it won't be found when I need it most.
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