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sffreak

sffreak

I'm an intense, psychologically-minded, dominant located in San Francisco. I'm responsible, professional, discreet and at the same time I can be VERY intense. I seek an enthusiastic woman drawn to erotic surrender and release. I am less concerned with the props associated with play than the depth of intimacy. I see D/s play as part of a deeply intimate relationship.
I love the the vanilla world and enjoy ordinary life -- I don't wear leather, or have tattoos, I fit in nicely at the opera and like entertaining. I also like pushing the limits and exploring the edges with trusted loved ones.

A multifaceted relationship.

In summary what I’m looking for is a deeply intimate multifaceted relationship, one where there is room for all of us. Trying to explain what that looks like outside of the two people involved is a little tricky because it really does depend on the individuals as well as the relationship. That said I’ll try to describe a number of dynamics and interactions that are compelling to me.

Like everyone else I have many dimensions. I am, and always have been, a very affectionate, ambitious and dutiful person. I have also always had a very critical, controlling and sadistic streak. I have always loved woman who are open to acknowledging their desperation and their masochism. I need a woman who needs to be sexually hurt AND to be emotionally exposed, abused and engaged. A woman who needs to be seen and engaged as wretched, depraved, wanton and base as much as I need to be seen a desperate, sadistic and demanding. This isn’t just play, it is a willingness to share with each other and affirm the raw and fragmentary aspects of ourselves.

My impulse to control is more about pushing than restricting. I don’t like to refuse my woman anything and I rather like indulging them, but I insist they always do more with me than anyone else. I understand the value of a young cunt and want her to enjoy and exploit it, but to both of our advantages with her sharing with me every intimate detail. I also enjoy collaborating with my slave on appearance, diet, exercise, grooming, attire, and surgeries in an effort to make her as beautiful and as sexually seductive as possible. Done right this sort of collaboration can make a woman an object of ardent sexual desire for years and years.

I love a young woman’s capacity for sexual activity and enjoy watching my slave enjoy being used by others. It is a voyeuristic thrill to watch her lost in wanton desire. It also fuels a jealousy that can be very hot in subsequent sex and punishment.

I want a woman who will be as committed to pleasure as I am. If you should want children that’s fine, but you will agree to have a cesarean so as to preserve your cunt and you will get back in shape after childbirth.

I like a woman who can be a lady during public activities as much as she can be a whore when revealed. Someone who doesn’t have tattoos or garish attire when out at the opera.

So really just an old fashioned story about love and marriage with a level of passion and perversion not usually found.

== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
100% Degradation Giver
100% Dominant
96% Master/Mistress
88% Sadist
83% Non-monogamist
80% Pervert
71% Daddy/Mommy
67% Primal (Predator)
59% Bondage Giver
50% Switch
45% Degradation Receiver
45% Experimentalist
44% Primal (Prey)
41% Vanilla
36% Brat Tamer
29% Voyeur
21% Bondage Receiver
16% Girl/Boy
13% Exhibitionist
11% Submissive
9% Brat
8% Masochist
0% All-Rounder
0% Slave
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.?id=210007
This is a lot of fun:

http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/08/weird-trick-to-get-huge-boobs-for-24-hours.html

I love this; good old Rumi

“Beyond our ideas of right and wrong,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’
doesn’t make sense any more.”

I recently received a reply from a prospective sub, complaining about my presumption and lack of common courtesy. And while the complaints have merit they struck me as bizarre: I don't think any one here is looking for what is common. I presume that everyone here is open to the transgressive - if not, shouldn't they be on eHarmony?

What I am looking for - Updated


I have met some wonderful people but I am still looking. As relationship is an ever evolving process, I figured I should refine my thoughts.
 

Why would any woman accept, let alone seek out the experience of sexual humilation? What woman would want to be drepredated into a base state where all dignity and self-esteem was extinguished? Who would want to be reduced to a wet throbbing idiot gibbering for the chance to be sexually exploited? What sort of girl would submit to admiting her basest and most depraved desires?
Perhaps the kind of girl who wants to know and own her own dark desires. The kind of woman who wants not only be accepted in spite of her base self, but ardently desired becasue of it.
Perhaps you.
Sexual adventure of this sort is a chance to claim, or rather reclaim, those aspects of ourselves that have been shorn off by earlier experience and have been left in an undeveloped and primitive state. These neglected aspects of ourselves, being so undeveloped, have a great deal of lively potential. To me, it is dreadful how frequently people abandon the freakish and unpolished parts of themselves and make themselves smaller and duller in the process. Likewise, something vital is lost, and a balance missed, when we so identify ourselves with the liminal that we become less functional in the conventional world.
Liminal elements are by their nature volatile and this creates a fundamental difficulty. To hold the fullest version of ourselves, we need to balance a full immersion in the fragmentary aspects of ourselves AND at the same time hold the certainty that they are not a full accounting or judgment of ourselves. I think we approximate this all the time in a fragmentary and unconscious way.
It is the rare person who can consciously integrate these experiences and be truly and completely raw and still adequately confident that they can find their way back to regular life. The play of D/s is wonderful and for some an essential aspect of life. The props, for me, are secondary and the essential element is the experience and the fuller integration of ourselves. This is, for me, simply part of life more fully lived.
The expansion of relationship, with ourselves and others, to include and even play with those parts of ourselves that are so often excluded provides a thrill of intimacy and liveliness that is not to be missed.
Lifestyle or Life?

I've always had an opinion about this and I thought I'd put it out there.

Personally, I don't see D/s as a "lifestyle" but rather as a part of life.

D/s is a chance to claim, or rather reclaim, those aspects of ourselves that have been shorn off by earlier experience and have been left in an undeveloped and primitive state. These neglected aspects of ourselves, being so undeveloped, have a great deal of lively potential. To me, it is dreadful how frequently people abandon the freakish and unpolished parts of themselves and make themselves smaller and duller in the process. Likewise, something vital is lost, and a balance missed, when we so identify ourselves with the liminal that we become less functional in the conventional world.

Liminal elements are by their nature volatile and this creates a fundamental difficulty. To hold the fullest version of ourselves, we need to balance a full immersion in the fragmentary aspects of ourselves AND at the same time hold the certainty that they are not a full accounting or judgment of ourselves. I think we approximate this all the time in a fragmentary and unconscious way.

It is the rare person who can consciously integrate these experiences and be truly and completely raw and still adequately confident that they can find their way back to regular life.

The play of D/s is wonderful and for some an essential aspect of life. The props, for me, are secondary and the essential element is the experience and the fuller integration of ourselves. This is, for me, simply part of life more fully lived.

The expansion of relationship, with ourselves and others, to include and even play with those parts of ourselves that are so often excluded provides a thrill of intimacy and liveliness that is not to be missed.
Being a good girl is everything.

It means being honest and true. It's beyond conventional definitions of being good; it's being real, whole and more than anything else being present. It's more than simply "being" good, it is rather being available as you really are, not who you've tried to be. It means a new kind of vulnerability and commitment that few people actually attempt. It means pushing beyond your old comfort zones into something more vital.