NOT FOR MEN! men DO NOT WRITE ME I will delete it.
I have been released from Sir and am unable to serve his needs because of irreparable mistakes that I committed. I pray that perhaps he will meet someone that will be worthy. If you are searching for a Master I will be glad to direct you to Sir. Perhaps that can be a show of my love.
He is white, healthy and expects the same, highly professional and successful in all he does, intelligent and fair but strict in his ways. He has a quick wit and also is so much fun. He always knew how to make me blush or laugh.....He is a Sadist but loving as well. He is seeking 365 247
Please do not waste either of our time.
blossoming through my mind
passionate of thoughts.
leather thongs, tag and press
careless of the fault.
let it be where they lay
passionate with no play.
my what to linger of the paddle, swinging from his hand.
bringith me upward. his to command.
steer me not, toward a lighted path too far
safe am i to hide in my own mind.
kneeled and down ward falls.
( strange the things that come from my mind and heart some times huh?)
let it drip,
running down my back, passing by my thighs,
draining to the floor,
whose to say what for?
bleeding now the red, of precious shedded tears.
tearing threw some pain of last years old fears.
dripping down with cold, clinging of this whip!
drag me down tight, taken with the night,
darkness of my soul. calleth back my own.
tearith through my veins , let them drip with pain.
puddles on my floor. and all i want is more.
tie me tight tonight.
it will make it alright.
Crackith is the whip.
soul seeking, may we slip.
dripped down drain me dry.
forever in my head to hide.
( HMM THIS ONE I WROTE TONIGHT IS WEIRD. BUT I LIKE IT.)
restless girl here we go
restless girl, do not fear,
i must sleep, for there to be
my self for tomorrows dreams
dream me not cut down deep
dark within the soul asleep
lead me not in the light of the day.
take my soul,
into the earth to stay.
( this was written by my self on June 6, 2012)
i wrote it because, i do not fucking understand some things, my mind is tangled with feelings, LUST AND confusion.
any way, i must try to rest. i do have a job to consider.
Good night Collar me
if not for my lack of control and gratitude I could have had a weekend in the sun watching Sir compete................perhaps one day soon I may have the chance..............
ashes,
ashes of tomrrow may blow on by.
Ashes,
ashes of tomorrow , could make you cry.
cry with hope. cry with tears.
cry, trails of the red streaked with lights of fear.
Ashes of old shed me tonight.
ashes of new leave no blemishes in sight.
Ashes blown by.
Ashes blown free.
Forever may I seek ashes of red for me.
( this is just something i was thinking so i wrote it out. thank you for sharing)
thinking about today. thinking about my life, and the loved ones included in it.
headed to work soon and thank ful for that.
Just hanging out for a little while.
What are you doing?
going to sit in chat for a few minutes, while I fill out an application for one more part time job.
JUST WISHING EVERY ONE HERE AT COLLAR ME A HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!
just hanging out for now, enjoying some privacy, job searching also, chatting abit here and there. and I am also running laundry and cleaning house.
i walked to the store ealier.
what are you doing?
HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND EVERY ONE!!
i put the pizza away, i have scrubbed down my kitchen cabinets. Now it is time to go walk my dogs. then get them settled in thier kennels for the night.
then im back on some chatting and more cleaning. fun hmm?
i wish.
YOOOO HOOO, PPSSSSSSSSSTT!!
I JUST ORDERED SOME PIZZA!! DOES ANY BODY WANT A SLICE? IT WILL BE HERE IN 30 MINUTES!! lol giggles. i can email it to you!
i have a new job! Things are looking up! I am starting to work my German Shepard again! My husband ( WHOM LIKE MY PROFILE SAYS IS NOT!! MY MASTER NOR DOMINANT!! SAYS THAT WE MAY BE ABLE TO AFFORD TO GET ME A CAR IN THE SUMMER)
BUT i am happy these past couple of weeks and it has been a while since i have felt some peace within and felt pleased with my own inside behavior.
thank you for listening.
HAPPY MOTHER`S DAY TO ALL THE MOMS. I HOPE YOU HAVE MANY MORE.
tangles
tangles of lies, tangles of truth.
tangles of justice with no full proof.
tangle me not, with dread,
need me now, tangles of rope in stead.
hold me true, tie me strong.
tangles like this. i do not take as wrong.
tangle me with your love, through strength shown of the ropes.
life is shredding to me , pulling apart my own tangles of hope.
lead me not, to a tangled web of despair.
lead me instead to the tangle of your lair.
lay me down, tie me wide. tangle a thresh, gives me nothing to hide.
shedding tears from a tangle of red.
streaked me not. tangles heavy to dread.
pull me now, hearts a ripped.
tangles of love. My love may you keep.
this is what i had in side me and so i wrote it, thank you for sharing. i know it has been a long time since i have written.
just taking each day as they come
going back out side, eeven though it is late, i want to enjoy my fire, think about my life and drink some hot coa coa, while looking AT THE stars.
what are you doing?
i thoroughly enjoy accepting the private chat from some dumb ass and then when the stupid questions start coming, I politely offer to cut and paste my own profile in to the private chat area for his or her reading convenience.
hmm bit of a smart ass, am i not? wanna spank me? ( grins )
chat was nice today, there are too many goof balls asking for privates though, as soon as they find out i am not going to do any thing they also leave, so why bug me in the first place, u can chat in the lobby area just as well as private.
thank you
I am hanging out in chat, for a little while so I can have some company while i clean house and work on tax papers.
what are you doing?
i see alot of you ladies peeking at my profile, if you want to chat, just ask me. simple as that, just because you chat or view a profile that does not commit you to any thing.
just hanging out while i do some chores and care for my dogs and also work on Tax junk. yuck.........
I am having trouble staying connected to the chat rooms tonight, bummer
this is silly but i am going to write it any way,
ijust finished rewatching the video of my self in Feb
2/2/2012 8:22:07 PM, i watched it and remember how much fun i had an felt when i was listening to shakira, and i swung around and let go and swung my ass back to my web cam. i had fun that day, making that silly clip of video that did get me some appreciated compliments
okay back to hanging up clothes and tx paper work. thanks.
color me now,
safe from all harm,
color me how, to tell this with charm,
speaking a name of his long good night kiss,
words to hold close, paints spilt down, coursing onward, lovers divine.
speak of me now, behead thy be true.
color me now, as i think only of you.
kiss me not,
lead me A side.
colors me now, whips of lashes with light.
bleed me down, with the colors of red.
pink marked blue, black, i do not dread.
color me once more.
keepeth me deep.
tomorrow i come home.
and for ever, no more to weep.
colors of the reddish, black and blue, let s me know
i can come home in my heart. to you.
okay, i am pleased with this writing. thank you for reading and sharing collar me.
rest less girl,
sitting here,
rest less girl in this chair,
what does this girl have to fear
fear of thoughts? fear of death?
fears of Godless sins of theft?
demons of old call down deep.
sitting here in this chair,
what have i to fear?
fear the
heart of cold, shuttered thoughts.
fears of
thoughts targeted, within lusted, slaughtered parts,
parts of new, shattered down deep.
in to the dept of dying and un keep
keepeth me now, within my own self.
showered me down, bleeding to death.
bury me how?
as i just sit in this chair
burdened me down, with thoughts
that are dear.
dear within my own heart, of my world.
for ever seeking this restless girl.
restless girl look no more
restless girl, sitting here,
my own restless, girl you are home.
in this chair, in your heart you need have no fear.
some good ones if you wanna bounce around and get some exercise!!
whew long day to day. real tired, its good though, maybe i will be able to sleep/rest well. i had a long appointment today with my vocational rehabilitation counselor.
i was gone from my dogs and home area from early morning till late this evening.
when i finely get a job , i can hold , i am going to hire a dog walker or sitter to help me with my doggie companions.
( PS i had to use my yahoo to help me with the spell check, it doesn't work here for me Collar me worth a shit!) and if Collar me , does not like me saying that, then please would they either update or FIX. the spell checker! Thanks)
I shall see what this day brings my way.
hmmm,
I am just sitting here by this fire thinking over my life, thinking of what i have been doing with my self. and just thinking about, my vocational rehabiltation, and just thinking over, the things I have done, thinking about what i can do better at, and where I might
im prove. I am going to enjoy the fire and the stars now, i can see the big dipper!
it looks pretty.
Then i will try to seek my bed.
good night Collar me
I had a dream last night, last night MArch 16, 2012. i had a dream.
what I am writng right now, is real idid dream this for real.
I dreamed about my own slef and also about the man I use to call MAster. I call him Sir now. and he does still check me.
any way I had a dream that,
i was at some building waiting to apply for a job. I was dressed up very nicely too. I looked good and sharp!
Then in my dream. i was in a line standing near a wall. in my dream I remember filling some man press up against my ass and I could fill his cock!!
So in my dream, in a very sarcastic voice . I Said stop it!! to the man behind me! Then I stepped away from him up a couple of steps.
but in my dream this man had the nerve to walk up and press his cock against my ass again. right there in that LINE! so in my dream. I dreamed that I turned around in tending to put him in his place!
When I turned around in my dream. it was the Man I use to call Master standing behind me. I remember wishing in my dream that I could fall through the floor.
In my dream i was stammering like a idiot. Ifelt ashamed! I did start to drop on my knees right there. But Sir said NO! Stand there. Then my Sir said to me.
This was just to remind you whose you are! Then he walked away. And I turned back around and tended to my job interview.
I really did dream this too! I did. i wanted to write it down so I would not for get it.
Good night Collar me.
I enjoyed chatting with the night owl slaves and lady switches here tonight, Good night and thank you for your company.
i recorded a bed time story recording for the slaves/subs that like to play at being babies and little children. it didnt ecord the end of the book for me though. sorry
rest less thoughts,
within a restless body.
within a restless mind.
Good night Collar me.
walking through my dreams,
here we go down, some memory gone past.
who knows how much time, can surpass.
on ward of these thoughts, falling through the years.
we cannot shed any more tears,
tears of red, swollen. pus leaded.
ties. ties of rubbed, raw, blistered red, with not much thought.
lay me down, though here I to sleep.
pressured within. walking my dreams,
unto my own heart.
will i keep.
hmm what i just wrote, boy i usually do better than this?? oh well. i guess it will do for now.
good night Collar me.
nice chatting this morning, its amazing how many people ask silly questions though, when the answers or right there on my profile. No I am not collared. But I am owned. So I still have rules and restrictions over me which I will and do obey! I also have a husband, No he is not the one I call Sir. Yes I am sassy. mouthy, and chatty. I also babble alot about nothing.
What I can say is that even though, i lean more toward being submissive. i can say i am a grown woman and i know what i like and dont like.
how about that? there it is blunt, straight and honest!
thanks and have a wonderful day!!
TORNADO WARNINGS AND WATCHES ARE BEING ANNOUNCED THROUGH OUT GA. PLEASE TAKE APPROPRIATE COVER AND PROTECT YOUR SELVES EVERY ONE!!
i have not written any thing in a while and this is what i came up with tonight. I like it. Please let me know what you think?
searching though my own mind of memories gone past.
walking down these halls of yesteryears
that do not last.
padding down stairs of screams down deep.
lessons learned under the whip or my own to keep.
pass me down, tie me hogged.
thrice around, now, and i may be your dog.
up we go, leashed upon my floor.
whose do say
if i may adore.
follow me through , leashed tightly a bound.
Good night my dear, your dreams or not unfound.
just thinking
playing online games and catching up on some chatting tonight.
what are you up too?
just thinking,
thinking of walking down in the dark,
thinking of darker dreams to keep me apart.
apart from those that love me so.
apart from who may not know.
not know the dreams locked in my heart.
not know, the thoughts of my beating heart.
who am i to say, what may?
who am i to wake and pray thank yous each day.
maybe my dreams and thoughts will never be so.
regardless, of this. i am thinking of you. and
just wanted you to know.
peace to all and good night.
Im watching some porn today and here are some videos that i found.
i was watching the girl get tickled and remember one time back in 2004, i was at a person`s house for some playing and i misbe haved. and since im am married, i cannot let some one mark my skin up too bad, so this person i disobeyed. hog tied my ass and tickled me!! i cursed him out too. and i pissed on my slef and had to wash his floor.
this last video i want to share about has Mark Davis in it and it is my favorite video, of Dom/ Master/ slave videos I have ever seen, there is no actaul big deal in it , i just love to listen to the way he talks to and guides some of the girls.
I think i have posted enough. i need to get back to task at hand.
Thank you for sharing.
i will be away for the week end. so you may not see ,me log in here at all until Sunday evening.
let me be me,
fires asunder, fires of pain,
soul searching, findings, what have i gained?
lashes of red, pink Scarlet and blues,
blackened with night shadows of dew.
who holds me now, to thee be my red.
boldly, throwing the lash over thy head.
plunder me down, within thy, folds of deep.
ropes and lashes of dreams , while i sleep.
let me be me, for whom, may i say.
my bed to die for has already been made.
more babble i know, thanks for sharing my time with me, collar me.
Happy Valentines Day to Sir. Happy Valentines Day to Collar me.
Thank you for the compliments on the video in my journal of me dancing and shaking my ass under that short skirt. I had alot of fun doing that video entree. I will do another soon.
I just have to have enough privacy for it to happen.
getting off line for now, take care collar me folks
im just wanting to chat/talk today and hang out alitle bit. hmmm.
i got talk with my friend hismanegirl recently. she is a special one.
i made a new friend also of roseinblooms. she looks like a beautie in her pictures.
here i am again, cannot sleep. im not feeling well, i did have fun shaking my butt in my vid i did here the other day.
i need to write a story some time, beside all these yearning poems i have been posting.
any suggestions or thoughts?
crack me down, lay me out
windows of pain are what it si about,
flood me within my pain soaking mind.
might nver i be left behind.
mirror me now, and show no doubt.
flooding within , i feel my heart beating about.
throbbing to the beat of non ending pain.
bleed me again. it has no gain.
THIS ONE IF KIND OF OFF, BUT I FELT LIKE WRITING IT SO I DID.
hot soup and herbal tea, warm blankets and some warm socks, May i please find some sleep, from this long day.
Good Night Collar Me
blending and blurring, mixed and mingled all a gory,
time to bless, my soul with another untold truth of
a pass time wished up story.
(just me babbling is all)
come to me, my own,
as i come home,
walking the ways down my mind,
through this endless, cloudless divine,
hope of new, ropes of bad.
tearing papers. of truth i had.
wish i fell, wish i fall.
who`s to say if i have a wish at all?
coming home, unto my truth,
blinding me of chains, formed in.
no one can take my key, lockith, within.
binding me tight, holding my own.
welcome to me.
in my mind i am home.
Good Night to my self and Good Night to Collar me.
sing to me now. what may have been speak of me now, be there no end. speak of thy foe, friend, near and far. tell me of those, lying upon lashes and scars. let be thy rod fall true upon thy side. speak of thy woes willowing inside. seeking and learning still of slumbers of deceit. Maketh me whole, finding me a cheat. Please taketh me home back unto me. Never for getting those whom I. Hurt true unto thee.
i like this video i found, im not crazy about the golden shower, the girl gets, but i like her wearing the blind fold, collar and leash.
hmmm who knows what ,ay be next.
been busy these past few days. i did get a job. not saying where or what though.
will say i have to travel quite a aways to get there. so i am gone all day these days.
jut wanted to drop in and post and say hello, so hello Collar. me!
bye for now, i have to head out to work.
3:45 am and here i am again. some night i rest varely well other nights hardly at all
oh well i do and will at least make my self lie down a few hours.
good night Collar me
well another day is here. what will it bring? what ifs, maybes and should haves cannot undo past mistakes nor mend any of them.
i can only keep my self learning, and do some thing with my self.
by for now
seek within me,
a running stream,
find within me darken dreams,
dreams of the past,
dreams of the old.
within my mind fantasies seek to unfold.
lusting thoughts,
of a dark diluted heart.
hearts strumming a spatter and never to part.
come within me unto my mind.
it is quite chaotic. i warn you.
it is never divine.
dark twist and turns,
confusion galore.
mind shattering brain storms,
can never be stored.
who can say, what may be.
look within me,
you never know what u may see.
my mind is confusion, of days gone on past.
my mind is my own, sanction of vast.
Vast endless thoughts, of blood , fire and spit.
heating away the heart`s every beat.
seek within me, never to be yours.
fold unto my arms. for ever more.
forever more of this earth, dear with out my soul.
what is it worth?
( THIS ONE IS WEIRD , BUT I WROTE IT, AND I LIKE IT. ) TAKE CARE COLLAR ME.
how i love having some place that i can write what is in side of me. once the words come they just flow and flow, some of my writings hardly even make sense. but some of them seem quite beautiful to me once i get them out.
touch me not,
vow to be whole,
teach me not,
yet is untold.
hold me to,
truths yet to be said.
hear me now,
as we have yet to be lead.
down this road drags whips
and chains a gore.
down sending a ravenous whore.
whose to say, she is yet undone.
regardless, of the others loose ended tongue.
forks of truth, words of fault.
withering along ropes, a tangle
with lustful boundless thoughts.
touch me not, with thy hand.
use in stead thee whip as I stand.
curl it high. ring it true.
thriving around my skin, red ,
markings of black and blue.
slithering within, my unmarked soul.
yearnings, i have yet to unfold.
Streaking upon life`s unopened skin.
dancing among the flesh, my friend.
behold the beauty, of the lash.
feel within. a soul searching clash.
lovers of skin, lovers of fate.
stinging darkness, lovers of hate.
cover me carefully blistered of true.
within my own mind.
will i always hold you.
(sheez, i worked on this one along time tonight. Lord have mercy. Im tired too, i hope i can sleep. i shall try.)
walk with me.
down my mind.
what you may see is undefined.
who is me that is inside,
in side the recesses of my mind.
turns and twist and tunnels of unknown.
what me may find, is yet untold.
yearnings of love, lust, and yet hate.
whose to say what fate, may dictate.
walk with me down this path of my own mind.
within me we go down darkly paths of lost time.
Here i go yet again.
How will this end?..
why it has yet to even begin.
amazing how many lazy dumbasses just do not read profiles.
silly me. im cleaning my home hanging out here. playing with my dogs also, ( in a nonsexual manner)
thinking also about my up coming vocational training classes. i hope they go well. im nervious and excited about that.
enjoying some privacy while i have it,
what are you doing?
tick tock tick tock tick tock. the clock keeps going no matter what
i a m thinking of placing a short vid in my journal of me blistering my own little white ass, making it pink and white.
its 4:am now, i should be sleeping hmmm i will go back and lay down at least.
tc Collar me.
here I am up again. some one tell me to get my ass in the bed! hmm?
turn the page
looking in the mirror,
watching what i learn,
teaching to ask for help, teaching to reach beyond that comfort zone,
old days of old habits cannot be any more.
falling back only brings you down to the floor.
dusty dirty filth of days gone by.
turning the page,
WHO CARES ? IF IT MAKES U CRY.
grow up girly, this may be yet your day?
chin up my dear one, never too late to pray.
Turning these pages each and every day.
Never one to stay the same.
changes come on and bring with it the pain.
pain of figuring out there is nothing to gain.
moving on down and changing the scene.
who is to say, what life may bring?
turn the page now, as i lay me down.
Good Night world. its lost and no wheres to be found.
enjoying the time to my self, while i have it.
Celebrating the New Year Eve/ Night with my dogs sitting around a fire.
as for the perverts
I love my dogs in a nonsexual manner! Only.
Happy New Year Collar Me.
here i stand all in one,
take me now, it has been done.
down the lane, of life`s long past.
hear me now,
this cannot last.
down this lane.
of old and new.
shouldn't they know,
HELL U CANT FILL THOSE SHOES.
take me through your bloody tears.
carry me through these useless years.
years of old, years for the young.
Has life even begun?
Here I stand, one to one.
With my own self some thing is be gun. (just me)
come walk with me
come walk with me my dear,
come and walk down yesterdays stairs.
down past the tears and blood we will go.
down through the darkness and tunnels, of old.
walk with me down tomorrows path.
share within me a passionate after math.
through out the years of letting me be.
thought sayeth my heart to never see.
walk with me once more
along life`s endless shore.
weep no more of my love, my dear
all those useless empty promises of tears.
take my hand and let it be true.
walk with me, as we go on through.
i just wanted to say, i like some of the nicknames they use here in chat. like one called unquietthoughts, isnt that most of our mind sets some times? and there is one called shadowslider in there.
i like that one because it reminds me how i feel some times when im writing and i just slide from thought to thought and from role to role.
i am going 2 lay back down, it will be sunrise soon.
good night collar me.
thoughts seem never ending, i sit here day after day pondering over should have beens and what ifs.
those are no good.
have to take time to review the mirror and say here is what we shall do today!
slithering in and out of the bondage and submissive life style kind of sucks. but when the vanilla world is part of your own flesh and blood family, then you must make due. hmmmm
thank you for sharing with me.
just writing, and always thinking about what ifs, maybes and i wishes
there is never ever any going back though, once you say or do something,
u cannot undo it no matter what.
im going to bed now, Merry Christmas and Good night
tangle me of love,
searing my heart, drowning my fears,
throwing my soul, down yesterdays years,
hearing my voice, but no one to call,
yesterday`s love, yesterdays fall.
down so we go
tomorrow may we keep.
today's love, and yet still do you seek?
another s ones past, to keep and hold me safe.
no it wont last,
another moments hesitate.
bring me home, within loves fastened arms.
keep me safe within,
the tangle of this love.
hold me close for it, never has been scorned.
scorn me not, but please see me through
this tangle of love speaks only truth.
truth of the angels,
truth of the God.
letith be their love, sureth
tangled above.
MERRY CHRISTMAS COLLAR ME. EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE MANY WANNA BE FOLKS HERE. THIS WEB SIGHT AND GOTTEN ME THROUGH SOME ROUGH AND ALSO FUN TIME OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS. IT ALLOWS ME A PLACE TO VENT, BABBLE, OR JUST SIT AND THINK. I HAVE GOTTEN SOME SWEET ONLINE FRIEND`S AS WELL.
MERRY CHRISTMAS HISMANEGIRL!!
my brain just goes on and on
rain bows of thought,
thundering clouds
look out with holding out your doubts,
for ever know that love may seeketh you.
finding me now. and let it be through.
through we are done, down for our knees
bow thy head lower for thou to keepith him pleased.
I had a good day out with my dogs today even though it was rainy. I also saw a picture here of three girls with thier asses up in the air. This made me wonder if I maybe should take a picture of my bitches, ( my girl dogs that is) with thier asses in the air and post it on my profile? hmm?? whatcha think?
giggles
LORD HAVE MERCY, SOME PEOLPLE ARE SO LAZY!! ASKING ME WHAT DO YOU SEEK? WHAT DO U SEEK? DUH, DUMBASSES IT IS RIGHT THERE IN MY PROFILE! SHEEEZ!!
Thoughts afire,
bleach my body, through my mind they reach,
never to know how it may keep.
why to seek , why no rest
did think, it would come to past?
tell me no lies, for I see your deceit.
One never knows, whom another may keep.
look up in to my heart, as u check your own.
broken hearts sooner or later will come home.
bring it back so they may say.
it never stops pulsing this way.
desires of change, quiet thoughts, sought for rest.
the mind will not give to that type of test.
raging through, fiery thoughts have I. Perhaps shall this thoughts seeking may Die?
no not knowing how many to keep. Whose to say what my thoughts may next seek?
* some of these writings do may much sense to me, but some of them seem quiet beautiful to me. so i just write and let the words come *
Yes Sir, I do not care if any one thinks i am answering my own self or not. I wil not ever change my pass word. i know if any thing dis pleases you, you will remove it.
I am watching you and hearing your words. Time heals all wounds...
MS
flowing from within, red heated, madden passion, churning within, lust built, up and spilling over in to seas of intensity beyond me.
spoken, words of sorry, gult and sin. i will work on this one more a little later. i am soo angry right now. heat seething, fury heating my thoughts, mind and heart.
thoughts , dark, sinful and hate. death, beyond others dreams, to come and seeketh, me unto, fold me. within my own mind.
breath. find calm. no one know me, as i do, my child, come unfold little one of mine own mind. together, we know this heart secret is within, the soul , locked up deep.
within my heart. locked, sure tonight.
im okay. things can always be worse. the world is not grey.
im done now and alittle more calm. but not much.
within, hold me, never u know, whom may fall,
pull me and bring me home, to your heart may we go?
within this locked, womb of hearts beating to never know, never the love of treasures the earth has to hold, secured within your own.
soul, of hearts sinning past, lasting to you arms of night, may your past remain.
good night, my lusting, heart, maybe the river break your down.
tonight the past around may never be found.
this doesnt make any sense to me, and i wrote! it, hmm. i felt like writing it out so there it is. hmm go figure, guess im crazy A well as a piece of crap. go figure. oh well.
hate,
dark, seething, searching, hallowing you out and within your own self.
can u feel it? growing? spreading with wings of unknown.
seeking within us as death unfolds. uncurl your arms and stretch your toes.
seeketh toward, the nightness. of the death of light. darkness within our morning of flight.
forever within , let me hold you untold, for ever within my love, speaks of no more.
WOW WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? ME HMM? IM NOT GOING TO ERASE it either. im going to leave it, ijust felt like writing and that is what came out. hmm. weird hmm, maybe i can lay down now, i will go try.
i just reread it, and there has got to be a bit more. im going to go try and rest for now though, so Good Night Collar me
Lord have mercy some of the folks here are just PLAIN DUMB ASSES!!
i do like coming here for the chat rooms, and i like to play the tick tack toe game. i like to journal here too and ilike talking to a friend of mine called hismanegirl.
ijust dont wanna fuck up any more, i have been in and out of this life style for several years. so i know what the fuck im suppose to do and what is expected. as some of you switches and Doms have seen , some of you i have answered , now and at least said hello. i am not looking for any Doms though. im still not. i may not ever! from my last screw up, and i know hismanegirl will not like me saying this, but i do not trust my self right now, to not let some one else down! some way. so better for me to lay in my own bed that i have made then to drag others in with me. no thank you to that.
thank you fo reading. im going to go play tick tack toe now.
perhaps this one begins to learn
S
maybe
walk it on.
skin 2 skin, thick on thick. choking love diving and twining. depth through depth with endless rope, tightening, searching. for future`s hope.
unknowing the mind`s turns and twist. some things cease to exist.
thickening shadows of grey, black, and night, shine right through, your darken heart`s
swarthy light.
secrets within aheart.
A secret of regret, once betrayed, though you never for get.
11/30/2011 at 10:37 p,m
i know that no body will probably read this, but i wanted to say.
look here you other Dominants and male switches. i already fucked up with my Sir! Do you think? im stupid enough to seek another? sheez! Yes I am a mouthy piece of shit! But i can be. I am only answerable to God and my own self for now! That is how it will remain!!
Now if you happen to be switch lady! A woman, and u might like to meet. Then please do let me know. I will gladly eat your pussy , while you decorate my ass! With your crop or paddle! Only those truly in to BDSM know a good spanking/ beating can help relax you. Thank you for reading.
s
Happy Thanks Giving to Collar Me.
i know i ned to get my ass in the bed, i took some Tylenol pm, i just have some thoughts. i am getting good at keeping my own self company. here lately,
i go for walks, i work with and talk to my dogs. i sit bye the river and pray and think about things. i also go for long walks that take me toward town so that i can look for more work. im still not ready to look in the mirror yet. it will come though, it will come.
well good night,
focus on,each day, place one foot in front of the other, place your chin up, keep learning,
the days will keep comingand going regardless, so walk on, make a path. just tread through. doesnt make sense hmm?
thats okay.
Good Night Collar me
day by day, tick, by tick, hour by hour, it all goes by, the only thing you can actually rewind is rope, string, a music tape, movies, and things like that.
have a nice day Collar me.
the days are ticking, bye. proceeding onward, no matter what kind of wishing, no one can ever turn back the clock hands, always on ward. learning yes. but never forgetting and never will for get some things.
Wonder what im talking about? so do i.
it is eye opening to also learn about your self. ( me that is, as my own self)
that regardless who says what. regardless who points what finger, regardless how the world turns, or what ever may come. i do think, (ME) i do think and believe that i do have a good heart! but unforntunatly i also have strong lousy, human nature. Good heart, but sucky ass human being. hmmm
kind of sucks , when the only one standing in the way of trust and loyalty is the one in the mirror staring back at you.
i wanted to share the writing that i did tonight.
here it is i call it
What say you?
do you think it is okay to walk away? do you think you can say? this all swell , things will be fine.
no you may not, it always comes back on dime. souls touching out, piercing a heart, bleeding, beating and pound apart. bleed me fine, bleed me thin. who to say with such sin.
life hurts and love , oh my God! it is pain. When u do not let you self trust enough to reach for help, you loose every thing there was to gain.
Walk back to the mirror and look back in for you are not yet done my friend. this writing does not have its end.
for now, for the minute we will lay this to rest. the night is proceeding and the soul inside, knows best,
Yes we will have to walk to the mirror and look back in , but for tonight this writing shall have its end.
no other way, Cuts, ropes, whips and chains, a outside world only in my way.
close my eyes to those I keep. they do not know, nor can they peep.
manacles climb high, raising my arms to the sky. my eyes are closed tight. Because, You know it feels so right! can you see this sets me free.
Free to be me. free to hurt, free to bleed, free to not hide, unknown needs.
hurting is no shame. It is part of this dark game.
they turns their heads from me. my world is unknown. sweet pain of the dancing lash that helps the bleeding flow.
touching, caressing, as i writhe and moan.
darkness within me has a home.
beyond another day . i do not know. the world out side, offers regrets of the old. look deep in my eyes. locked in the depths of my mind.
its is a world of my own. No one can take it. No other can call it her home.
It is is my retreat. A secret held deep. No person holds the key except one.
Keys for when I return. deep within as I yearn. no one can touch me here. this is where my soul is free.
deep within my own private pain. the red does set me free.
And since it is my own, for ever shall it be!
HAPPY THANKSGIVNG COLLAR ME FOLKS. PLEASE BE SAFE.
the spell check here does not work any more, and the typing is too freaking small sheez
the day went well
An Anniversary in my family today. I have to prapare the place where I stay for some celebration in the evening today. I will see how successful I can be. I will try.
going to? take? my dogs? for a hike today,
take care? collar? me
Soemthing happened? today.? I? cannot? really say much? of? what? it was that? happened.? Because I? would? be breaking? the law about? confidentiality.? I? want to? say? my part.? I want to? get how? what I am feeling.? So? I? can try? to let? go of it and move on.? I? have such a bad? habit? of belittling my self? over? things ? I have? done, and bad f*ck? up? mistakes, I have? made. This? is? one good? thing about having a dominate Master.? He? can beat or punsh? me some other way, and it makes? it easier? to let go of it.? I? will? post more later? please. I am being called.?
Master? is? not? commanding? me to do any thing? here. So? for my self. I? will? leave? my profile? posted. But I? will? only? be here once? in while. Not? nearly? as much as I use? too. I? am opening some doors? in my life? that? have been shut? for awhile.? I? am reopening the real? ME. ? And its ? fun letting? her back out? and watching her grow.
Because though us? slaves, may be considered ? no? better? then shit,? we may? thought? to be only sluts, and worthless? property. When? it boils down? to real? life vanilla? or? lifestyle wise then we are? still? HUMAN.?? sorry? but? its true. take care?? collar? me folks.?
Have a Safe and Happy? Fourth of JUly
You may not see? my profile as active as it use? to be. I may? take longer? also? to answer emails. I? have found other activities to fill my time with besides lurking? on the internet. Those things I have found are helping? friends, spending? more time with? my parents, ? spending more time with? my own pets,? and volunteering at? humane societies. ? The? busier? I? keep? my self? the happier I? feel.? Less? time to think? about things? that? way also!? Be? Well,? Collar? me folks and? take? care. ?
I? was able? to watch? some one work their dog? a few? minutes? this evening.? I? love? to watch this? person? put? the dog? through? paces. ? This? person just? shines? and glows when they? are doing some thing they? love doing. ? i? would? have liked? to have viewed more.? Perhaps If? I mind? my? P`s? and Q`s? so to say mayhap? I? might get? to see a whole work out one evening.?
This? morning I? did a fun favor? for a special friend.? After that? I went some where that I have not? been? too? in a long? time.
I visited? the? humane society.? I stayed? for one? hour. I use? to? hang out at? the HS=? humane society? weekly? and help.? It? seems over the past? year I have? got caught up with? other things not so? good and neglected that? part? of my life. Animals give me peace.? They are? fun, some are? serious? just? like we can be.? Some? of them are just plain? hard headed.? Also? like we can be.?? An animal will? accept you as? you? are? if you? just? treat? them right. They? do not care? how you? smile, walk, talk, dress, or act.
I spent? some time? walking? some of the? big dogs. One? of them? dragged me alittle.
Big? dogs? have always? been? my favorite. All? my life.?? I?? also? held a big fat? yellow? cat that? would? not stop meowing.? I? held him abit and it helped? him calm? down. They let me play? with one big? dog that was?? a? rottweiler mixed? with something??? I am? not sure what. ? While? I was? there and I walked around . I saw? a pit bull.? Pure Breed.? I? asked? to see? the? papers. I also? saw a male pure breed? German Shepard.? I looked? at him too. He? also? watched me.? I? could see? those eyes? following? me when? I? walked past? his? pen.? Its? sad and? a shame. That? some people just do not think? about? life? when that? cute little puppy? grows? up.
I have? seen? it over and over. A person? will? see a puppy? and think? it? is so cute!
Then? when? it? grows? up and you can actually do something with? it!! The? person? cannot? handle? the dog, so? they? dump it or? get? rid? of it.
When? they? should? have just? not gotten? the? dog in the first? place, simple as that!
Thank you? for listening.
Trigger WARNING!!!!? possible? Trigger....
Tears of red tears of red run from eyes, eyes that close and cannot cry, tears of red may set me free. why do these tears of red come about to be? Tears of red come to be, they think that they can set me free. tears of red come to run down my cheeks, because the regular tears are no where to be seen. these tears are locked in side , inside where they hide. tears hide some where deep. I shake with the need to
want to weep. I don?t ever want my own moma to die. maybe? Maybe then this is why? I cannot cry. i think back in to memories deep, back in to my mind where you dare not peep. locked back there are memories of old deaths that hurt my own mother so. i think that as im walking this path. i am finding, that the reason is, tears of red come to my eyes. because death of old has left me dry.
I? was? just? thinking about? things in,life. I? was remembering things from the past. I just felt like writing? and what? you? just read? is what? came? out.
when you find some thing good , do not mess it up. If you do mess it up. Things are never and will never be the same.
i wrote this back before i started fucking up. i cant even follow my own fucking advice. thats no good, good heart but sucky worthless human. i cannot take my own life, for this shit i have done. too many people would be hurt, and there is no telling what would happen to my dogs.
took? my dogs? to the? river? today, it was fun watching? them run? through the water,? i? sat on a rock? and? put? my feet? in the water.? it was nice and cool? there too.? a nice short? break from? the? heat? of the day.
went to? school? to day? too.? have to? pass those? classes!!
bye for now.? collar me
Happy? Father`s? Day
********************TRIGGER > WARNING******************************** >? >? the red dancer comes when i am in pain. she dances > round and round my veins. rivers rise and flow > free,. let the red dancer dance on for me. > >???the red flows over and pours down my hand. i llook > at the dancer she is mighy and grand!? the red > dances on down my legs. yet i must not let it touch > the ground, the red? dancer is beautiful and unique. > she dances slow or fast and she can even dance deep. > >???the red dancer flashes sliver and sharp. you cant > miss her ! even if she dances in the dark. > >???the red dancer comes to set me free at times like > these it is easy to follow her lead. > >???the red dancer dances on and on. the pulse beats > and red flows mighty and strong. > >? ? the red dancer is one whom will never leave me > just to be. the red dancer dances sharp and lets > the red flowing set me free. > >???Red dancer you are faithful and true. yet at times > like these i wonder do i still need > you?? sadly? speaking some times yes I feel I? still? do.?
thank you red dancer? for your song. thank you? red dancer? you are never wrong. >
uh? oh? !? I? am up kind of late are`nt? i?
Spent time with? my dogs again, just? walked? and played? with them, and went running, by my self, some times? solitude is? good, it gives us time? to think.. good night collar me
Back? from? the river,? dogs ? were? fun to watch,? seeing? them? run, play and get wet,? they had fun.?
i shall? be headed? to work soon,? take? care? collar me folks.
Going? out? for a hour? or? so? before? I? go to work.?
spending? some time with? my dogs.
Taking? them? to the river? to let them run.? It? feels? good watching them? run and enjoy their? selves.
Bye 4 now? collar me
in regards to my post that I called reckon, I appreciate your responses. but I am not looking for any body`s sympathy okay? Thank you.
Reckoning
Lay me out, tie me wide.
Caress my skin with your belt,
touch me up with bleeding red stripes, hold me still rubbing me down by a beating in the night.
the song of the whip, the whisper of the canes, roaring red paddles as they take thier reign.
Stripes red criss and crossing over her skin glowing crimson with the light.
Head is lowered, eyes to the floor. As we go through this once more.
You are a slave. You know your place! So child do not place yourself in your Master`s disgrace.
Written about me. I do know my place. I am sorry does not really mean shit. It cannot fix a wrong. I have nothing more to say here this day. Thank you for reading.
I spent time with my Master this evening. I watched him in session with a guest he had. I love watching Master work the whip, paddles, crops, cuffs, and toys on her. I like watching his face and watching his arms move and flex as he would move around her. I love seeing my Master do something he enjoys. I like for him to be happy. When my Master is happy then I am content. I feel good and secured. When he is not happy. I wish I could split my self in half one to stay with him to secure his happiness and the other half would go about my other parts of life. Any way, Master just looked really good in session with his guest. He is strong beautiful Master. There was one time tonight when he was holding her to his chest, was a beautiful embrace. Just passionate and beautiful.
I loved watching get a hold of her hair. and Run his hands over her body. She came alive when Master was fucking her. My God that woman was just about to buck him off. I got to eat her pussy, She has sweet tasting beautiful pussy lips, and its all sweet and creamy in side.
And by Master being busy with his work and guests he is able do his scenes/ sessions which help him relax and relieve stress. He helps me still be able to see him with out revealing that to my family.
Thank you Master love and hugs
I? strongly recommend visiting? this web sight.? That? I have posted? here in my journal. Its? moving, beautiful,? just there? is not a way? to explain? it unless? you have been there your self.? There? is? just something special when Master and slave reach? that? connection. The world? just for alittle while? falls away and there? no one else but? us.
here is the web sight: http://aslavesheart.com/
Just ? thinking? and? putting? thoughts? together. I have? been thinking? about a some things. That? I? wish? to talk about with my Master. Later? this? week when I? see him, i? will ask? permission? to do so.? I? do not? consider what I have been? thinking? of bad.? I just think? I need? to? talk about? feelings? and thoughts? that are? of Master and me, with him. So? I? shall? reign? in my tongue and patience and do ? so.? Thank you.
I? get to see? my Master? for alittle? while? this evening? before, before I go to work? for the night!? I am pleased? and ohhhh? so? excited.
It? does not matter what I am? doing cleaning , pleasuring him in some? manner,? or pleasuring? a guest? for him.?
I? am? headed? hi s way now.? Good? night Collar me dot com.
Today? Master? gifted? me with a special? collar.? Its? beautiful? and protected? so I? can? wear it all the? time.
Today? on the way back? to my? where I? stay .? It?? was raining,? Hard,? some deer? crossed? the road in front? of me.? I? hit? one and slid in to a ditch.? For? a few? minutes? I? could`nt remember where I was? going.?? That? was kind? of spooky.? I? did? get? my wits? back.? I? called? the police then? called? my the person? that? I stay? with.? The? truck will? need some work.? My head? hurts. That? could? be from? me crying? so? much because I? feel? guilty.?? If? my head? still? hurts? in? the morning? then I? will? take? my self? to a doctor.
I? am pleased? and feel? blessed? with the collar from? my Master.
Yet? I? feel? sad? and angry with? my self? for an accident? that? I? could? have avoided. Thank you? for listening . good night collar me
I? have been? busy these past? few days. i had? my exams at school. I? have been? helping? my husband with his work.?? my own home where I live with my husband, back in the state? that? it needs? to be? in. I have had? some time? with? my parents? too. Just? been? busy? such is? life? at times.?
I am? up? watching? BDSM? porn again.
Here? is? one that? I liked.? The rope work? is pretty? good,there are? some wax scenes also.? I? like? the? girl? being? fucked? by? that? machine? tied? up in a box too.
In the? next? one? that? I liked I thought? the bondage and weights? were? interesting.? The hook? in her butt? spooks me alittle,? but the hog tie? looks? great!
The? last? one I watched? had? interesting? device bondage.? But? there was lots? of tickling.? I am? glad? my Master? has? not done any? tickle? torture? on me. I? would? be squealing and screaming and kicking? like crazy!
Master? has? been? viewing and? deleting? my mail and? viewing? list.?
I? smile? and welcome him.
Just? saying THANK YOU? very much? to the all the people? that? have sent? me compliments? on the short? video? on my profile. ?? Thank you? to those? folks? for? your? compliments,? for saying? My? Master? is? lucky.?? for? saying? I? look? hot,? and even? for? your? suggestions? and ideas. Thank you.? Have a good? day? if possible.
Had? a? wonderful? time visiting? my Master? yesterday? any time? and every time with him is? exceptional.
My? Master? will? be busy? with family? tonight. So? I have asked? my husband? to take me out.? He said yes!? I am excited? about??? this? and due to need for remaining? discrete I? will? refrain from? saying? where we are going.?? i? though?? am? going? to DAnce and Dance and Dance!??? I? love? music and I love to? move with it!
Take care? collar? me!?
I did a new video introduction. I am still only posing and waving. But its better then the first one.
got? the? sticky? key? problem? solved. :P
?HOW? DO? i ? turn? off the sticky keys
I? am having? a hard? time settling down? to go to sleep.? I wanted? to share two? of? my favorite bdsm videos that ? I like? to watch. ?here is the first one
This? one shows clips? of? Mark Davis dominating? different girls.? In the video? I like how he? keeps? talking to them. He reminds one or two? of them that she? needs? to? breath and relax.? He uses? that? cane a few times? two. YIKES.? He also? bust?? a few little? asses till? they? are nice and red.? and Boy? what a fuck? he gives them,? hmmmm.?? I also? like? how he just? lifts? some of them? up? and turns? them how?? he wants? them.
I like? all the kissing? in that one, and the? face? contact. The? bondage? is pretty? good.? That hook? in her ass makes me nervous though.?? I also? like watching Mark pet and talk? to the girl like she is his little pet.? Makes?? me? feel? good? to see it.
I am going? to? attempt? to? quiet down and sleep. I know? i am tired. I just have to? settle down. take? care? Collar? me dot com
I just? have some feelings that? I want tot alk about? tonight. A? journal is for speaking? freely with out fear of discipline? unless? you? are aslave and do something stupid like insult? your? Master? or Mistress.?
This? isnt? what i wanted? to talk about though.
I? was able to? spend? time with? my Master? this evening. Every? time I? am with him? I am at? my happiest? peaks, yet also? when I am with him? there are? brief? moments? of torn? feelings. I? am very? very? lucky? to have the Master? I have.?? I? know? this. I have ahusband? also. My Master knows i do.? He? already? told me after? we first? met? he told me not to do something stupid and leave him.? UNLESS? I TRULY!? TRULY? WITH OUT? ANY DOUBTS? WANT? TOO. There are? times? I? would like to leave? my husband. But? he loves me. Master loves me too. but? its? different. With? my husband? i have school and a chance? for? family that? means? children,? and I have all my animals that? ilove dearly even though, they? are what Master? calls MUTTS. And with Master I have servitude which? is part of? my heart. I? have a? damn good looking? beautiful? man? to? admire. i get praise and uplifting. I? wish? i? could cut my self? in half.? I? have a foot? in each? world. I belong? in each? world too. Some of it hurts. feeling wise that? is.? I? do not? have? the heart? to just? cold cut? leave? my husband.? With? such? a understanding? loving Master, I? do not have? too. Yet? I? know? with? my husband? in the picture? I? do not give my Master all that? he needs. That? is? not? a good? feeling.I know? it boils? down to me, What? do I? want?? I love? both? of them.? the way I? feel. i would rather, ONLY? IF i HAD? TOO. I? would rather do with out BOTH? THEN? HAVE neither.? I? will? remind? my self? once? more though. I am okay. I? have a? loving,? understanding? Master. So I?? need? to remember? that? I? am safe.? Thank you? for listening? to me babble. i am done for now.
I? have? not journalled? for a few days I? have just been? busy with? life stuff and thinking a lot.? I like to keep? busy? as much as possible. That? way? i do? not have to think.
do? you also? try? to avoid? your own thoughts?
just checking in while i have a chance, hello Master love and hugs and kisses to you. Sir
hi collar me folks.
I am going? out? of town? for? a few? days? so I may not? be able to? reply? to your? messages.? Due? to? need of? discretion for Master and my self, I? may not say where i am going.? Take care collar me folks.?
spent? a couple? of minutes? with my Master this evening via? messenger,? I feel? good? in my heart? now, after? this,? my tonight at work wil be pretty good.? off? 2 work? i go goodnight to? my Master and good? night to collarme
other? then? having? to? bust ? my dog`s? ass, im doing okay,? doing? house chores,? keeping? my phone turned? on at all? times, even when sleeping, in case? my Master? calls me. ? packing also,? because? my husband and I leave for a few days? on Thursday morning.
on the 23rd? i posted ? about? one? of my dog`s tearing up? his? water bowls/buckets, well that? same day,? i did spank him? after? i cought him? in action. he has left? that? bowl alone? until today,? so? as soon as i catch? him and i am watching? him,? he is going to get? his? butt? blistered again.
another? day,? i need? to sleep? for a few hours,? then? i will? see what? task? i can? accomplish.?
exam? time? is? approaching.? been? studing? like crazy to day,? did? some house work too.
i? am? going out? of town with? my husband? on thursday? morning right after work ?his sister? is having? surgery? done on? her heart.
too? bad? i? can not? put? my Master? in my pocket? and take? him with? me? as? my secret.? ? shhhhhhhhh ok off to work? to i go nit? nit? collar me
got some? house? hold? chores? done,? now? it soff to? bed I? go? for a few? hours? i go to school and work? tonight.? tc and ty? collar me
mixed ? feeling this evening,
i am upset? with my self? because I? think I? may have displeased? my Master.
on the other? hand? I am relieved? that I got the car out of the mud with? out having? to involve? my husband.
I got? the? fucking? car? stuck? in some mud, i? have been trying? to get? it back on the drive way, when? my husband? gets? home? and sees? this, he is going to be really angry, pissed.? I? cannot? really blame him.? but the thing is? I? will? hear about? this? for weeks,? and even? years? later,? he? dont just let? things go.? I? am really upset? and frustrated.? if i had the money? i? would call A ? freaking? tow truck,? where? are? your? so called friends? when u need one,? its? bull shit.
cM? probally? things? im a crazy? slave? after? all the? writings? i have done today.
i am frustrated , i am about to beat one of my Dog `s ass es. he keep tearing up his water bowls, and the dumb shit has toys, so what is his problem? sheez any dog trainer got any suggestions? before i wait catch him in action then spank his ass!
just a little? reminder? to the Dominants? that? do not seem? to know? how? to read a ? profile.
I am not? allowed? to reply? to your? messages. So? I? am not going? to.? I? will leave? your? message? for 24? hours? in case? it is for? my Master. But the following? day? it will? be deleted.?
I have? permission? to chat? with slaves, switches, and ladies. Thank you
getting my ass? off line for a while ,? have to? run some errands and get? some house? chores done,? regardless? of any? sinus? infection,?
take care? collar me dot? com sls
I? gave? one? of my cats a bath? today. It? was some? esle? too.? i have? had to? bring her inside? because she is? in heat.? The? male cat that was trying? to mate with her is? too? big. this? little female? cat? isnt even one year old yet. I? am going? to get her fixed as soon as possible. It just cost so? much money. sheez,
right now her fur? is? shiny, but she looks like a little wet rat.
stupid? sinus infections? suck,? and i have one now,? makes? it hard? to breath? through? my nose.? yuck
A bleeding rose. shes quiet and bleeding inside, do you not know. her heart hurts with where she must go. think of your self people will say, yet this causes her mental pain it is just not her way. some one tell her`s come, let me take you away. do you not know she thinks within, that my roots are here. in my home, this si where i grow, my famlly. i care for you, yet i will not go. in one hand is one who loves her as she is yet doest know her secrets within.
in her other hand she also holds another heart. this heart she also hold does know her yearnings and secret parts, this heart though, what it doesn't know, is what she is like her own, she feels like it hurts , this love that bleeds and feels like it may tear her apart.
i would say she is beautiful like a little rose with fragile petals falling off as she goes on trying to sort through roots that lead to perhaps a healing path.
she thinks to her self , at times like this i feel like a rose loosing its petals.
the red petals falling to ground are just like blood, dropping, and running down. trailing, onward down it goes. drops of crimson , red pooling. such a beautiful sight.
I bleed to release and feel at peace. As the rose relaxes its steams and slumber it seeks.
she thinks to her self. i maybe like a bleeding rose. but also like that rose i do have some thorns.
So i will tuck my petals back in. i will stand up and show this world my happy face. I will keep my roots in my home ground. I will love both those hearts in my hands.
My stem will grow strong as I feel out. I have the strenth i need within. I just hope this bleeding love of arose will not end.
Internet has been down alot here where I dwell. Nothing is ever down when I am home at my Master`s feet.
Any way I will get in here and journal as I am able and reply to messages from slaves and ladies only.
Thank you Collarme dot com.
Today? was`nt too bad. School? was okay? exams will be soon.? I? go to? work? in? afew ? more? minutes. ? So? I? shall? see how? the night? goes.?
Master? I? did? change? my message? on my cell phone? the same day? you? commanded? it Sir.?
Good? night to my Master? and good night Collarme.com.?
What? have? I? done today?? Hmmm?? I? walked? my dogs.? I? watched some porn giggles.?? Loves? watching? the machines? and bondage stuff.?
I got some laundry done.? I slept enough? to? have decent night at work.
Also? I? took care? of my husband, Yes? I? said? husband.? My? Master? knows? he exist.
? This? is? enough babbling? for now. Do? you? not think so?
Okay? let`s? see what? this? day? holds? in store? for me. ?
time? to go to? work,? another? day another dollar.
good night Master.? good night Collar Me.
Spent the? day? with my parents.? we? watched? Clash? of the Titans,? We? ate at the Golden? Corral,? Then we went for short walk in the park. ? I? love? my parents much.? My parents? are? practically my heart. ? I?? will? not? give them? up until God calls? them? both? home.
My? profile? shows that I? am married. Yes? I? am.? My? Master? is understanding of this. I? am lucky? to be blessed? with? such a Master.
?My? parents are? in their young 70`s.? All? of their children including? me are? here in GA? for them, in case? they need? us.
I? am just? feeling strongly about this I am sorry.?
My? mother? and father would? not? understand? my rope? nor enjoyment? of serving a Master.? I? do? not try? to tell? them? any more. I love?? my? parents. Both? of them? and I? will? make sure? I am always? available for both of them.
I? will? stop for now. Thank you? for listening to my whining.
Good morning? world. ? giggles,? I ? am think of my Master.? ? i? am taking? my parents? to see? the clash of the titans today.?
tc? CM
back,? ? my dogs? are? great? company.?
Loaded? up my dogs? instead, we are? going to? go to the park and hike abit.? nothing? that some working out? cannot? fix? hmm?
Be? back? in about? one hour.
im ? going out? tonight! ? cannot say? where,? but? Im? going? to go? dance and lift? my spirits.
Lyrics to Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis
Closed off from love
I didn?t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you?re frozen
But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone?s looking round
Thinking I?m going crazy But I don?t care what they say
I?m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don?t know the truth
My heart?s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling
But nothing?s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I?m going crazy, maybe, maybe
But I don?t care what they say
I?m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don?t know the truth
My heart?s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
And it?s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I?ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
I don?t care what they say
I?m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don?t know the truth
My heart?s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
This song? is? good example of how? I? feel? about? my scars, and its? how? I? feel about ? parts? of love and? about?? that I just see? bleeding? in a different way .? for you? see I USE? TO? be? a? cutter.? Now? you know, Are? you? scared? of me?? I am only me.
here? is? a writing that? is? inside? me right now,? I`m just going? to write? it out? and see what happens. its ? called? What? am I?
Hello? What? am I?
I can caress? your? face. I? can? caress? your? throat. What? am I?
I? can? rub? over your? legs.? I? can? caress? or mark your? skin. what am I.
I? can? hug? you? tight. i? can? hold you close. I? can even cut off? your? breath? and i? can cause? your? death.
You? can? trust me. Yet? some times? you can`t.?
I? can? twine? around? you? in? love. I? can twine around? you? in hate.?? I? am able to? touch unknown? parts? of your? body . Some times I may even touch? your? soul. I? can? be dark? or? I? can? be light. ?what? am I?
Do you? know what i am? or? could be? Am? I? color?? Maybe?? Am? I love? or hate? Am I?? the wind?? I? will? tell? you? what I? am.?? ?? I? am the? rope. The? rope? around? your? skin. The rope? in? your? Master`s? hand. I? caress? you. Yet? just? like love I? can? cause you? to feel like? your? suffocating? to the end.?? Love? hurts? does`nt it? ? Too? bad? its? not? like? the? rope. ......................................................... '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ....................................................
I just? wanted? to say. I? know? this crazy? writing? will? not? really? make sense to? much? of any? one.? This? is just? how I? was feeling? and?? I wanted? to? write? it down. A? journally? is for writing? and? getting your? feelings? out. So? this? is what I did. thank you.? take care and God Bless
?I was ? gifted? with? some time with? my Master this evening. My? Master? blessed me? with? some rope? bondage? for awhile. While? I? was tied? up? he gave me? that? cocky? grin? of? this? that drives me nuts!! So? Dang?? freaking? cute!!
Master? is? stressed? tonight and this? past? week? has nt? been? good? for him. I? do not? like seeing my Master? having a hard time. I? do not think? he deserves it. Just? my? feelings? is all. Thanks.
PLEASE TAKE NOTE. I AM NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE, SO I WILL LOOSE THE CAPTS NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION. I am not allowed to reply nor speak with any of you Doms. I will leave your message for one day just incase it is for my Master. Then it will be deleted.
this area is my journal, so i will speak freely. I am not hardly ever called arude person, i just want to point out any Doms here that are real, will understand me obeying my Master`s command not to reply to any of you.
I should be sleeping. Here I am awake and thinking of my Master.
I just emailed this message to a Dom couple. I wanted to post it here in my journal. Because I do feel like this with my Master. If I sound stuck up or like aspoiled little bitch. I appoligize. I am kind of spoiled is what I wrote to the Dom couple. My first Master indulged me by treating me gently . My current Master also is easy with me to certain exstent . Now do not get me wrong. I know my place. I know whom has control and who is in charge. What my Master does for me, is he is gentle and loving. He uses corpal punishment as he feels is needed. But he does not abuse me. He is not over rough with me. He does not treat me like shit. He is a loving , strong handed, Master. He does not condim my out spoken ways, he guides me to ask permission as a slave should. He does not break my spirit, with him it thrives, and within his arms, I am able to grow. I will alway do my Master proud where ever we are. I will not and do not show anger with him or jealiously. His happiness comes first in every thing I do.
thanks. j
Just? got? back to? house? from? going to a friend`s? house? for? a Easter? party. ? I? bought? the? children a? pinata? and it was worth? it. Those? children? looked? so happy? and excited? trying? to hit? that? pinata.? I? felt happy? watching? their? excitement? and fun.
Home work? this? week? for me is? to practice? with? larger? butt plug. Hmm Wonder? how I? will? do?? We? shall? see? hmm?
Pssst.?
are? there? any FEMALE? slaves? or female switches? that? would? like to? play? with? my Master and maybe even me, his slave this? evening?? If? yes? leave a message.
been? thinking about ? my? Master all night? at? my work.? Sheez,? his voice,? his? beautiful? body, his attitude,? and that? cocky? grin? that? drives me? crazy. he? has a cocky? grin? that? he gets? some times,? and? I? just? think? its? really? cute? as hell, and? it just? turns? my heart? in to? mush.
I? know? i am probally? grossing? alot of pople??? out so i will? stop.
got? blood? work? done,? and? having? an ex ray done? of my lower abdominal area? tomorrow? after? noon. ? have to wait? for test? results.?
been? a wake? most of? the night,? dealing with pain from
Endometriosis
, ? been? breathing slow? to get the pain? to recede? and wanting My? Master`s? voice.
?had to cut and copy that? to get the correct spelling? im sorry.
going to lay down? now,? thank you? for listening? to me whine.
This? profile? is? created? for?? me? to have? a? place to? visit? and talk with other? slaves.
Just a reminder? to the Dominates. If? you? are? dominate couple? then I? will? reply to the woman. Other? wise I? will delete? your? messages? per request? of my Master.
I know? folks won`t? give a shit? and? thats? alright with me. I?
though am posting? my favorite song? right here. So? I? can? look at it
whenever? I? would like? too,? while? in this forum.
Song Lyrics - Another Night
Another night another dream but always you
It's like a vision of love that seems to be true
Another night another dream but always you
In the night I dream of love so true
Just another night another vision of love
You feel joy you feel pain cuz nothing will be the same
Just another night is all that it takes
To understand the difference between lovers and fakes
So baby, I talk talk I talk to you
In the night, in your dream, of love so true
I talk talk, I talk to you,
In the night, in your dream, of love so true
In the night in my dreams I'm in love with you ?
Because you talk to me like lovers do
I feel joy I feel pain 'cause it's still the same
When the night is gone I'll be alone
Another night another dream but always you
It's like a vision of love that seems to be true
Another night another dream but always you
In the night I dream of love so true
Just another night another dream another vision
Of love with me I'm here to set you free
I am your lover your brother hey sister let me cover
Your body with my love is with my lovin' just another
Vision of love that seems to be true
All we do all the things that only lovers do
Vision of love that seems to be true
All we do all the things that only lovers do
In the night in my dreams I'm in love with you ?
Because you talk to me like lovers do
I feel joy I feel pain 'cause it's still the same
When the night is gone I'll be alone
Another night another dream but always you
It's like a vision of love that seems to be true
Another night another dream but always you
In the night I dream of love so true
I talk talk I talk to you
In the night in your dream, of love so true
I talk talk, I talk to you
In the night in your dream of love so true
In the night in my dreams I'm in love with you ? Because you talk to me like lovers do
I feel joy I feel pain 'ause it's still the same
When the night is gone I'll be alone
Another night another dream but always you
It's like a vision of love that seems to be true
Another night another dream but always you
In the night I dream of love so true
How? I? feel? about the parts? of my life in BDSM. part? two
I? just? do not get what the people? get? out? of the beatings. It? does? not? make sense? to me. There are? many? other? ways? to? prove? seniority without? beating? the? hell? out? of some? ones? skin.? I? know? I? am being? out spoken as? a slave. But? in? a journal you? are suppose? to be able? to? write what? you? feel and speak? freely. So? as you? can see. I? do it.? I? my self? have been? at the point?? a few many times? in front? of My Master,? where I? have? just? not? cared what? he did with? or too me, as long it? made him? happy. So? I know how? this feels.?
how I? feel? about my life parts? of BDSM. Part ONE.
Tonight I? am? reflecting? on? how I? feel? about? what? brought? me to BDSM lifestyle.i? have to go? tend? to? some? matters. I am going to be forty? one? in a? few more months. I? think? back to when I? was a child.? I? know even then?? was forever? seeking? praise.?? Seeking to? please? others? before? my self.? I? have been? that? way? all? of my life , That? I lived so far. It? makes me? feel? good inside? when i please? another? person.?
I? have not ever been? good? lead material.? I am more? at ease being a follower.? I? can? and have lead? when? needed. I? just do not prefer? it.
I? missed a important? appointment? for today.? I? feel? bad about it too. I? have? to reschedule as soon as possible. ? Sheez? Life and my? brain, that's a scary combination.?
Reposting? this? so? Master can see? it circulating.?
i?
wanted? to? invite another? female slave or sub. To come and play?
with? Master? and his? slave.? All? you? have to? do? is be DDF? and be
either? uncollared , a? female switch, or? if you? are owned? get? permission
to come? visit. ? I? have? Master`s? permission? for? this. ? hmmm?
?
i? wanted? to? invite another? female slave or sub. To come and play? with? Master? and his? slave.? All? you? have to? do? is be DDF? and be either? uncollared , a switch, or? if you? are owned? get? permission to come? visit. ? I? have? Master`s? permission? for? this. So let`s make something? happen? ladies>? hmmm?
Time? for? house? hold? chores fun fun. NOT!? bye? for? now,? collar? me?? dot com
Just? sitting here a few? minutes? dreaming? of what? its? like? when, Master? and this? slave are in our own? little world. ? You know? when? your? looking? in his? eyes? and the world? just fades? away, and? all? you? are aware? of is? HIM.? thats? it,? and theres? nothing at that? moment, that? you? would deny him. at that? moment any and every thing? you? are? is? his? completely.? Other slaves? will? know what? I mean. this? moment? in time, I speak? of is sacred, breath taking,? humbling,? so? many? ways? it makes? u feel.? that? special? bond? between? Masters? and slaves. There? is? nothing? in the world? to compare? to it. just? me thinking is all. Thank you? for reading.?
I? like to play? the games? this? web sight? has also.? I? have? read a? few post? on people? playing? space? invaders? and tic tac toe.
Have you ever...?
Have you ever knelt, naked, trembling,
at your Master's feet....patiently waiting while he picks out the
perfect flogger?
Have you ever crawled across the floor, crop between your lips, with
that pleading look in your eye?
Have you ever felt that sharp sting, and then the wave of intense
pain, that comes with a stroke of the cane?
Have you ever wondered if she can take just one more stroke, and felt
the pride when she took 10?
Have you ever begged for more and more, knowing, but not caring that
your body is covered with welts and bruises?
Have you ever stood over her as she looks up at you with tears in
her eyes?
Have you ever gotten the giggles on stroke number 255....even though
you are hurting?
Have you ever been bound, naked, in front of a room full of people,
yet the only one you are aware of is your Dom?
Have you ever felt the rush of power that comes when someone
willingly crawls across your lap to be punished?
Have you ever stood in the corner, skirt raised, panties down, tears
running down your face from the humiliation?
Have you ever awakened the next morning unable to walk across the
room without feeling the pain of the night before?
Have you ever wanted to hold her in your arms as she sobbed, yet
left her huddled in the corner?
Have you ever trembled in fear and excitement when he pulls out
*that* toy?
Have you ever felt the sadistic pleasure that comes from inflicting
pain?
Have you ever spent the evening as a footstool....only there for the
pleasure of your Master?
Have you ever bent over the counter at the toy store, the clerk
holding your wrists, as your Dom picks out the paddle that he
prefers?
Have you ever practiced with that new toy until your arm feels as if
it is going to fall off?
Have you ever worn those little gold handcuff earrings to work?
Have you ever felt the over-whelming warmth from knowing that she is
taking the pain just to please you?
Have you ever lifted the hair off the back of your neck without
being told while your Master slipped on a collar?
Have you ever heard the scream of your muscles as you lie hog-tied
on the bed?
Have you ever fought with the beast...knowing it was time to stop,
yet wanting to hear her squeals for just a little longer?
Have you ever felt the sting of the crop on your inner thighs?
Have you ever presented your body for the single-tail, knowing that
one mis-stroke could leave you lying on the floor, writhing in pain?
Have you ever pleaded for him to stop, knowing that nothing you say
will will make him cease?
Have you ever ignored her pleas for mercy?
Have you ever felt the touch of the whip as it wraps around your
body and caresses your breast?
Have you ever gasped, and then screamed, as the nipple clamps were
slowly removed?
Have you ever felt her squirming and kicking as you apply the hair
brush to her reddening flesh?
Have you ever loved, and hated, and feared, and needed all at the
same time?
The slave is a higher gradient of submissiveness in D/s. A slave's
primary purpose in life is to serve the needs and desires of the
Master. The slave relinquishes all control to the Master, because the
slave knows the Master has her well-being totally at heart. The slave
is marked by her Master in some fashion to show ownership. This can be
done with a tattoo, a piercing, or even a physical collar. The
Master/slave relationship tends to be more of a lifetime commitment to
each other than a typical Dom/sub relationship. The slave is held to a
higher standard of conduct and compliance than a typical sub, due to
the fact that the slave has given control of their life to the Master.
The Submissive, or sub
The role of the submissive appears to be somewhat simpler, but in
actuality, the sub plays a large role in shaping the D/s relationship.
The sub's primary role is to follow her Dom's directions and to please
the Dom. Being submissive does not mean that the sub is a doormat for
the Dom. The sub is the Dom's companion, his student, and his lover.
As a companion, the sub is treated with respect and dignity, is
allowed to voice opinions, and allowed to share in the Dom's
activities. This is the area where the sub is the most equal with the
Dom.
As a student, the sub learns how to please the Dom, and when done,
expects to be rewarded by the Dom. Likewise, when not done or done
incorrectly, the sub expects to be corrected and shown the right way to
act.
As a lover, the sub goes out of their way to please the Dom because
they genuinely care for the well being of the Dom. The sub does this,
not out of fear of pain or retribution, but because they wants to give
the Dom pleasure. The sub does not want the Dom to be disappointed with
them. The sub takes pleasure from the fact that the Dom is pleased.
still? working? on? my story,? its? a pain? in the? butt? when? you? are? in the? vanilla? world so much? that? you? cant? just focus? on your ? slave? yearnings.? I am? grate ful i have? been blessed? with an understanding Master.
I? am going? to? try? to get? my Story? done? some time? tonight.? Just? been? busy? cleaning? house and? at work. Stuff like that. Sheez? life? goes on does? it not?
An? Evening? with my Master.
One evening? I? arrive? at my Master`s house. I? come inside? just like? normal. I? hear? him call? out in here little girl. Its? one of his endearments? for me. I? stroll? forward eager? to see him and? bask in his? gaze. I? see him?? seated? on his sofa.? I? go? and? kneel? down by his? feet? rolling? over? on to? my? back? just? like a pet? dog. Looking? up at its Master.? Come? here? little? one? he? tells? me.? I? sit? up? and move? over? placing?? my chin? upon his? knee. My? Master? crooks? his? finger? beneath? my chin raising? my eyes? to his. Listen? very? carefully? slave? girl? he instructs me. Your? Master? is? giving? you one hour tonight to complete? your? chores. My? Master? tells me do? not? dawdle? or? get lost along your way. you know? our time? is? limited and your Master? wishes? to? play with? his pet. Yes Sir I reply? after I? say a quick? good evening Master to complete the proper? greeting. I get? up and start in the kitchen taking care of the trash, cleaning Master`s? left over dinner dishes? and wiping down? the counters? and floors as? needed. I? move along? next? is the sun? room, then? dusting and vacuuming? the living? room? next. My? Master? calls? out? hurry? up? little girl!? I? glance at? the? clock and? see that? half an hour? has already? passed.?? My? breath? quickens? with? excitement. I? try to?? hasten my pace. I? go? check his? bed room and fold? what? laundry there is? to fold.? As?? I? come? back? out? of his? rooms.? I? can? hear? my Master working? in another room. I? walk slowly? out wondering, what he has? in mind for tonight.? He? calls? out?? my name? sharply. Yes Sir I answer? dropping? to my knees and looking down.? Go? shower little? girl he tells me. I am giving? you five? minutes. I hurry? to the? shower? strip? and? get? under? the? hot? water.? I? only scrub?? my body? and shave? over? my? self? in certain? areas making? sure I am nice and smooth. I? turn off the water and get? out? grabbing a towel. Then? I hear? Master before I am even? dry. Come here? little? girl? he calls? to me using? the? endearment? he? is fond? of. I? hang up the? towel? and? walk? quickly? out? in to the living room with the lights? glistening? off? my still wet? naked body. kneel! Master? instructs me. Do? not? move!? Do not? speak! Master replies! I barely breath as I? sense? my Master walking? around? my knelt lowered? body. I? squeeze? my? eyes tightly closed as I resist? the urge? to? glance at? Master.? Knowing that? would displease him and bring instant? punishment.? ?Master? runs? his? fingers through? my hair? finger combing? it? gently. ?Put? your? hair? in your? pony? tail? he tells me. I? do so? quickly . Lowering? my self? back to the floor. ? I sense Master? walking? away? from me.? But? I? remain lowered? to the floor? unmoving and silent. There? I am? lowered down on the the floor still? damp? from the shower. I? can? hear? Master? moving around on the other side of the room. I? hear a? jingling? sound.? I know? he has the collar.? I? feel? my self? tremble? with? excitement. UP!? Master? replies, I? sit? up?? straight? away? remaining? on? my knees? and averting? my gaze? to the left on? on the? floor. My? eyes? close? in? ecstasy? and pleasure as I? feel? the? leather being fastened? around? my neck? by Master.? It? is soon followed? by the clip of the? leash. Head up Master? commands I? tip? my head? toward him. I? gasp? in surprise? as Master? slips a blind fold? over? my eyes. I? feel? my self? tense? up briefly? this? is? different? from? other ways we? play. I? calm? my self? by breathing? as my Master? taught me? to? breath? for him.? Heel Master commands? me I? press against? his? knee? to help? guide? myself the direction? he wants? me to go.? Master? leads? me around? his? house. Its erotic and dark? there behind? that,? blind fold with nothing? except Master and slave? in our? own? world.? I feel? carpet under? my hands and knees? and realize we have gone? to another part of the house. Step? up! Master? says as guides? me? with his? voice. I? place? my? hands? up? on a padded? step.? Then I? crawl? on up. "Stay!"? Master? commands as i? feel? him place? his hand upon? my back. "Down"!? replies,? Master to me. I? lie down realizing, as I? do so that Master has walked me? to his spanking? bench. Master? places? cuffs? around? my wrist and? ankles? and secures? me to the? bench.? I? am strapped? in the? praying? child position? over Master`s? spanking? bench.? Master? walks? to the? front? of the? bench. I know? this? by? listening to? his? body? movements.?? Master? grasps? the leash? attached? to my collar and? pulls? it toward? the floor. I? can? feel the? downward pull? of pressure? on my neck. I? lower? my self? following? the? motion? of the leash. I? hear a light? snap.I? find? that? when I? attempt? to? rise? back up. I? cannot.? Master? has secured? the? lead? to something?? so my head? is? lowered? to the floor.? I? remain? silent.? So? there I am? strapped? over Master`s spanking?? bench? with? my ass? in the? air and? head? lowered? near? the? floor.? Master?? speaks? to me. "What? are? your? words? little girl?"? Red Sir? I? reply. Also? yellow Master I? respond.? Good girl? he? praises me .? Master runs? his? hand? down my back and? plays? with? my ass? briefly? ending with a resounding Smack! ?The? rooms? goes? quiet? all of a sudden. I? cannot? hear? any movement. I? am still? blind folded? so? I? can not? peek? and look? around? either.
I am just? sitting? there? counting? my breathing. When I? feel? and? hear it. Swish? and? smack? over? my back? and on down? to my ass? its my Master`s?? flogger it? falls repeatably over? and over. Then? the? flogging? stops? .? I? quietly gasp? whooo? Owwww.? I? know what? that? is? and? it? hurts . Master? is? now using? his? riding? crop? I? remind? my self? to breath? and relax. It? doesn't sting so? much? that? way. Master? applies? his? riding? crop? till? my? white skin? is? pretty? with? pink.? Thank you Sir? I? reply.? Your? welcome he? tells me. I?? feel Master? runs? his? hand up? and down my body its? soothing,arousing and exotic ? all? combined? together .?? It? is such a? head rush and turn on for me.
Master? pauses? behind? me? rubbing? his? cock? up? against? my ass and grinding? against? me.? I? can? feel? his? precum.? My? pussy? grows? wet as? my arousal? increases. I? push?? my ass? back as? much as? the cuffs? and bonds? will allow me. Master? removes? the blindfold and there it is? my? treat.?? Master`s cock? is waving? right? in front? of my face. Just? like a? friend? greeting? me. I? stare? at? his? cock? hungrily , waiting glancing? up at Master, waiting? for his permission.? Suck? my cock? slave he says. There? it? is the release I? was waiting. I? lock? on to? Master`s cock? eagerly? sucking? as deeply as i can, uncaring? of whether? or not I? gag my self. My? head and neck move around and? over, my tongue flicks? eagerly? around the head? and base. I hear? Master`s groan? of pleasure. The?? sound? is such a treat.?? Release!? Master commands me and I? let? his? cock slide? out? of my mouth with? a resounding pop! Master? walks? behind me and redins my ass? by spanking? it with? his? hand over and over.? Master? tells? me? to close? my eyes. I? do so quickly. Master? warns me? not? to peek? at all. I? do not!? Its? tempting? but I? like pleasing and obeying? him? better. Master? has me lift? my ass? and hips? up? off? the bench as much as I? can? with the bonds. I? feel? Master slide something under me? and position? it? right against? my? pussy. I? grind upon? it trying? to identify? what? it? could? be. Master? drops? some? warm? oil? upon? my body? massaging? it in my skin around? my lower back and ass.? He? continues? and? rubs?? some? around?? my ass? hole and? pussy? penetrating those? sensitive lips. Master? slides his? cock? up in my pussy? he?? feels? silky smooth sliding? in? there. Oh My? God? he? hits? that? spot? of? mine. I? gasp and moan. Do not? do it? he? commands!? I? understand? he? is? command? me? not? to cum. So?? I? withhold it.?? He? fucks my pussy? a little? harder warning me? not? to cum.? I? feel his? thumb? slide? in to? my ass hole? as? he? fucks my pussy.? He? works? his thumb? and? then? one? and two? fingers? into my ass. Stretching and working with me, still? fucking? my pussy.? I? feel? Master withdraw? his? cock.? I eagerly open? my mouth? thinking? that he is about? to allow me to feed. Master? is? in? front? of me . He?? says? my name? telling? me to look? at him.? I? look? in to his? eyes? as? he has? his hand? under? my chin.?? He? talks? to me a? minute.? He? just? reminds? me? to remember? to? watch? my breathing and to relax.? I? reply? yes? Sir. Master? is? back? behind me now.? I? feel? that? sweet? cock? back in my pussy. Do? not? cum? he commands.? No Master? I? respond letting him know I understand. He? fucks? my? pussy a little? more? then slides? his? cock? out? of my pussy? and slowly? puts?? his? cock? in to? my tight ass.? I am little? back? there and Master? is loving and easy with me.? I? have? to? work on my relaxing? because when? we do? this. I? do not do? it on purpose? but I? can? feel? my body? resist? the entrance? of? his? cock? in to my ass. So? I? just? trust? in my Master and? take some slow? deep? breaths. Master? has his? cock? in my ass now and starts? to move.? He is? fucking me? gently and slaps? my ass a few times? to keep? it nice and pink.? I? feel? Master? reach? forward and play? and? pinch?? my titties.? Master? starts? to? pump his dick? in me a little? faster.? I am breathing? deep and? slow.? When? I? suddenly? feel? a strong? vibration? right under? my pussy. Its? strong! Oh? My God. Wow!? Its? Master`s? wand.? Suddenly? its? more then? having? him? in? my ass and? trying? to adjust. At least??? with this? sweet? distraction. Master does something that makes the wand`s? vibration stronger.? I gasp , moan and rock? back? against his? cock. That` s it? little?? girl!? Ride? Master`s? cock He encourages me. Oh? God??? I? can? feel? my climax? building. Master? I? gasp? please?? Do Not!? He? says!? Not? yet.? Yes? Sir? I answer.? Riding? it? out? as Master? fucks? me a little? more. Then when? one? more? thrust in my ass.? He? releases? me. Okay? he commands? CUM!?? Cum little? girl.? I? let? it go? moaning and screaming? out? my? release? as? I? climax over and? and over again.??? I? feel? Master`s? sweetness pumping? free? in to? my ass.? Yes? I m sore but? he? is? worth every bit. I? tremble a little? with? after? shocks.? Thank you, Master I? tell him, thank you Sir. ? Master? releases? my? bonds massaging? my? wrist and ankles? as he frees? them.? Master? commands? me? to clean the? room and put things away. Then? he? goes? to take a shower. After?? I? hear? Master? get? I the shower. I? stop cleaning and allow?? my self? to? sit and? think a minute. I? think within my? self. I am lucky? to have a? loving,? beautiful? Master like? this within the vanilla ? world I? live? in. Thank you? Master.
just? got home? from? visiting? my? parents. I was fantasizing about my Master? while? driving.? sheez! ? crazy? me.? I? pulled ? my self? over, so? i? could? finish ? my day? dream.? We were? in different scenes in my? mind,? and I could hear? his? voice? near? my ears.? and? behind me, around? me. It? was almost like I? could just? about? inhale? his scent. I? could just? feel? his breath on my body. ? I? do? not? care? what I? do? when I? get? to spend? time with? him,? being? in my Master`s? presence? is? enough.
Good? ness? some times? this is? hard. Thursday? evenings? I? go spend time with? my Master.? This? week? sense? its Spring Break my husband knows? I am not going to school? and My days? off? work are? Thursdays and? Fridays . I? spend? Thursday? evenings? with? or? at least? near ? my Master. Its? times? like this I wish I? could? or? had? the courage? to tell? my husband? the? truth? and? to tell him to just let me go. But? that? would? be unthoughtful? and cold and heartless. My husband? does love me. He? needs? me. ? I? attempted? to? leave him once and he wound? up in the hospital ? very badly? sick.? My Master? has told me not? to worry? about? Thursday. So the thing for me to? do? is? accept? my Master`s? command? and? let this? go?? right?
I must? return? to? work now. I? just? wanted to return? home? for a bit? so? I could write what I was feeling.? I? remember one night afew months after? I met? my Master he called? me on my cell? phone at midnight and asked me to come over for one hour the next morning. That phone call is/was so special to me. It meant a lot. Take care collarme.com? bye for now
I am blessed. I? do? have a Master. That? understands? about ? my husband? needing me. My Master? is discrete.? My? Master? understands? my yearnings? for the ropes and bondage. He? understands? and allows? me to full feel? my needs? to serve and worship. Thank you Master.
I am married.? I am married? to a husband? that? loves me. He? does not? understand? my yearnings for? the rope. He? does? not understand? my desires? to serve and worship.? If you are? judgmental or? if you think you are God? then please by pass? my profile? and move? on to some one else.
I? spent the? weekend with my Master? and? another woman? in training? to be? a sub, It? was? not? as bad as i?? thought? it would? be,? he had? us? do a lot? of work, but there were? fun? times? too.
we? helped? him by? cleaning? his? home,? this is slave`s? duty? any way? so i have no? problem with that.? When i? was going to my Master`s? home I? was nervous? that? his? lady? friend? would try? to? dominate me.?? but she? did? not,? at all.? i? actually? saw and heard? her copy some of the things? that? i did. that's? okay,? its a way? to? learn.
We?? did? several? sessions,? The? lady and? I were? tied? and cuffed? for a bout? an hour? standing? side? by side.? i? pleaded?? with? my Master? a little? to not release me when? he? released? his? lady? friend. So? he let? stay? in the? cuffs? a little? longer.
This? past? weekend.? I? did? not feel? hurt? or any? jealous? feelings.??? I? felt? happy? and included.? I? know? my place. The? thing? that? I did? learn some more about? this past week end , was anal. I? have a hard? time yielding? for? the? fucking in the ass part. it scares me.? not?? just a little? either.? I? can? do? it!?? I? have? before.? But? its? always? a inner? battle with my? heart? and? resistance.? I am? lucky? and blessed? to have a patient caring? Master.? When? I start? thinking? about? how I? respond? to being? fucked? in the? ass.? I? hurt and tear? up.? I just have a? hard? time? yielding? that? fuck? hole. Why?? Because? it feels like some? strange? object? is? stretching? my ass apart.? I get? scared.? I? did? a little? better? the? last? time? , My? Master? went? for my Ass.? His? fuck was? successful? that time. I just? have a hard? time with? that. though? And?? i? HOPE??? I? can? get around? it soon. I? feel? like? if? I? do not find way? to get a round my? fear with my
ass? being fucked, then? I? fear? I may? get? released. Because I? know
that a Master? does? not? have? to put? up with a an unwilling? slave. Thank you? for listening? any? comments? are welcome.?? And? I? did? have a wonderful week end.?
Well the week end will start? soon. I? am going to be spending? time with my Master and a lady friend? of? his. I? am going? to respect my Master`s wishes? for me too grovel a little? for his? lady? friend. I? would? rather? be on even terms with her. But? tis? not? my Master`s? desire. So? i also? know we do not? always get? our? way. For example.? people? in hell would? like to have some ice water. but we know they? do not get it.
My feelings?? are? tender? right now good night? collar me
I? get? to? spend? the? weekend with? my Master. I? am very excited about it too! I? do not? care? if we go any? where or not.? Being? in his presence,? hearing his voice,? feeling? his? touch, being under his? hand, and even inhaling? his scent. Is enough.
I am? proud? of my Master!
good night Master,? May? angels surround? you with? peace and love.
love? is like? a peanut? butter? and jelly? sandwich? .
it? sticks? together. ?
thinking? about? my Master? tonight. I am? going to work? soon and? he is out? taking? care? of? his? business.? I hope? he? has a date tonight. I? hope.?
