sdbuilderguy

Continuing MY training.

Yes, we Master's do need training as well! I'll be attending the BOLD conference in Burbank, CA starting Friday, Feb. 21 through Sunday, Feb. 23. The event is sponsored by the parent organization of MDHL in association with MAsT.

And if you're a slave looking for a Master, this will tell you all you need to know as whether He's real and SERIOUS about owning you and really living the Lifestyle.

If you don't know anything about the two organizations, let me know. I'll be happy to explain.

As I continue my progression and development as a Master, periodically I seek the wisdom of others who have tread this path before me. Learning comes from making mistakes, wisdom from the mistakes (and advice!) of others.

As much as I would like to say that this is mine, it is not. However, what I do with it is.  And for all you prospective submissives and slaves, honestly assess your relationship and ask yourself: Does your Dominant/Master truly exemplify these traits?

10 Key Qualities for an Exceptional Dom

http://www.arcaneadvice.com/10-key-qualities-for-an…

Posted by Master Arcane February-6-2009

An excellent Dom buddy of mine wrote me to ask what I thought were the 10 Essential Qualities of a Fine Dom.  In my estimation, these are Ten Essential Traits that any existing or prospective Dom needs to appreciate.

These do not necessarily have to be fully developed qualities within the prospective Dom, but they should at the very least be qualities that any Dom, new or experienced, values and seeks to perfect as part of the Art of Domination in my honest opinion….

Enjoy.

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1 ) RESPONSIBILITY

A Dom MUST appreciate the singular quality of RESPONSIBILITY above and beyond all other qualities.  This is because a Dom will be responsible for the Well-Being, Safety, Development, Conscientious Training, and Evolution of their submissive or slave, as well as the overall direction of the D/s Relationship.  I genuinely consider this the Make-Or-Break quality of Domination.  If a person does not want to be Responsible for the well being of their slave, they should not be a Dom.

2 ) DILIGENCE

A Dom cannot be lazy in their responsibilities.  Diligence means following through on a course of training, paying attention to the evolution of the submissive, calling a submissive’s bluff, being unafraid to confront a submissive on any area where the submissive is being lazy, continuously and conscientiously creating pathways for growth and evolution for the slave, and being unafraid to confront deep issues in a methodical and healthy manner to achieve resolution within a healthy D/s Relationship.  Diligence means that as a person the Dom is prepared to work on their own evolution at least twice as hard as  they will ever work on their slave’s evolution.  As a Dom, Diligence means pushing yourself to be The Best Dom that you can possibly be.

3 ) ARTISTIC NATURE

What we as Doms do IS very much AN ART FORM.  As such we need to approach D/s as something that is Creative, Fun, Inspiring, Playful, and above all, Something To Forever Perfect and Become Better At.  There is NO Upper Limit to how high a Dom can achieve within themself, or within their D/s Relationship.  There are ALWAYS new avenues to explore within BDSM and D/s, and new ways to improve ourselves as Doms.  The ENEMY of Art is EGO, and as such it is ABSOLUTELY IMPERATIVE that a Dom seeking the FINEST LEVELS of D/s must ABANDON their Ego to take on the much higher reality of Seeking – and Attaining – The ART.  The Artistic Nature of the Dom also entails understanding one’s own Sensitivity, the way a painter can see subtle variations in color and texture to sense where the next brush stroke must go, or the way a pianist can sense the exact degree of force or lightness each chord must have to create the perfect music.

4 ) KINDNESS

Although we may be strict as Doms, and even seem cruel at times, at our hearts we must have a center of Kindness.  It is through kindness that we find the true desire to see our submissive’s Evolve and grow into higher beings themselves.  Kindness tempers the incredible strictness we are capable of using, and although we hold both the power of Mercy as well as the power of Severity, it is through a Kind Heart that we will truly attain that unique quality of beneficence that makes for a fine Leader, which is who we must be to our submissive.

5 ) COMMUNICATORS

We have the responsibility as Doms to be EXCELLENT COMMUNICATORS.  We must never depend on the submissive to be the one to communicate the best in areas of conflict, and in fact we must be so good at communication – clearly expressing our thoughts, emotions, desires, fantasies, and feelings – that We as Doms literally become the inspiration for the submissive to improve their own Communication Skills.

6 ) LEVEL-HEADEDNESS

We may become angry at a submissive for any number of reasons, but it is our task to help the submissive understand where they transgressed and apply a delicately matched correction for the transgression.  We must remain Level-Headed so that our submissive’s correction is never too little and never too much.  We remain keenly aware of that fine line wherein we sense in our calm state the beauty of a correction that perfectly matches the transgression, while at the same time bringing about Understanding within the submissive of the nature of the transgression and how they can improve for the future.  Level-Headedness also means seeing your submissive for Who They Are, respecting their limits and where they want to expand their limits, accurately perceiving their talents, and working with what you have been given in the initial form of your submissive.  You don’t throw citrus-tree food on a rose garden, and you don’t prune a tulip.  Level-Headedness allows a Dom to accurately see who they are working with and apply the correct assortment of tools and techniques appropriate to that individual submissive.

7 ) A HAPPY NATURE

A happy Dom will bring about great joy in their life with their submissive.  This does not mean we cannot have bad days, but overall we must seek within ourselves a quality of life wherein we are generally happy, as this vibe will be passed along to our submissive, sometimes consciously, sometimes sub-consciously.  The result is that the submissive will reflect that happy nature, and greater harmony is achieved within a D/s household overall.

8 ) INNER STRENGTH

A Dom who begins to train a beloved slave will be tempted to “sell-out” and allow bad behavior in a slave to whom they have become attached.  This is an event to be challenged from within the Dom themself.  INNER STRENGTH means being able to maintain “professional distance” with a slave who exhibits bad behavior if only so far as to be able to gauge the situation accurately.  INNER STRENGTH means applying the appropriate correction no matter how much you feel fondly for your slave.  Without accurate correction for a transgression the Dom is in fact then Failing The Slave.  This is especially common in Doms who fall in love with a slave.  Love is eminently beautiful, but again if the Dom is TRUE to the very nature of Domination and the Responsibility they accepted when they took on the slave, the Dom MUST be able to stand back enough to be diligent in their duties to train the slave towards a higher state.  Succumbing to any form of fear that the Dom might lose the slave or the slave’s love if the Dom holds themself up to their Responsibilities as a Dom is a complete failure of the D/s process.  The INNER STRENGTH of a Dom prevents them from ever succumbing to such a fear.  This does not mean we as Doms are not amenable to intelligent compromise when the compromise includes genuine satisfaction of a lesson needing to be learned by the slave, but even then we will be upholding the qualities of Responsibility and Diligence.

9 ) KNOW THYSELF

A Dom must always seek to Know Themself, exactly as the Oracle of Delphi of Ancient Greece advised when asked to summarize all of her wisdom into a single sentence.  It is only by way of Knowing Ourself that we will equally best come to know what we desire from our slave, where we desire to train her, and how we discover the living Art wherein we express our creativity into vibrant elegance upon the canvas of our submissive.

10 ) HONOR

Honor means the ability to act in the best interest of more than oneself, as well as the ability to truly represent the quality of loyalty.  This loyalty can come in many forms – to oneself, to “the tribe,” to your slave, to your friends, to your family, etc – but in all cases it means acting in a way that is truly conducive to the health and well-being of those to whom you are loyal.  At times it may mean putting their needs above your own, and often it means putting quality time and energy into those to whom you are loyal.  The quality of HONOR also gets carried with you into everyday life, such as simple politeness with strangers, which is a good way to practice acting Honorably towards others.  HONOR means being there for those to whom you are loyal, and for the slave it means that you, the Dom, will always act in a way that ultimately serves to protect the slave.  You might take a slave to extremes of the flesh, heights of the spirit, and the far reaches of where they ever thought their mind could go, but through it all you will insure that you never intentionally engage in any behavior that is actually meant to cause real harm.  To honor your slave means to convey to your slave that they are under your protective wing to whatever degree you have clearly accepted in regards to their training and their evolution as your pet / property / servant, etc.

Copyright 2009 Arcane

The Mind Fuck

Occasionally, don't you just LOVE to fuck with someone's head? C'MON Yes, you do!

And this is one where you really, really can.

Imagine this scene: Your sub really, really hates exhibitionism.  You hustle your sub into a motel late at night. Get a good night's rest. The next morning you tie them to a chair, naked, in front of the outside window, blindfolded. You strap a Hitachi to their clit, set on high, with sound attenuating headphones on.

Then you open the curtains. Sunlight splashes over their body. They can feel it, sense it. They know they are open to the world and everyone can see.

Occasionally, you tap on the window and say "OK, You've seen enough. Move along."

After a couple hours or so, you close the curtains. You take off your sub's blindfold and untie them from the chair. Then make them wait until nightfall and leave.

What your sub doesn't know is that the motel has tinted windows that act like a mirror during the daylight...

If you like this, let me know.

Fakes and fraudulent profiles

Does anyone else ever wonder about all the "Native American" profiles on here? I guess if you're running a con from the Philippines then it makes sense to represent yourself as a Native American. What they don't know...

And the weight sometimes just doesn't make sense. Yes, she's thin, but 60 lbs? Nobody's that slender.  Unless of course you multiply by 2.2 and turn pounds into kilograms. Then things make sense. Of course, kilo's are only used outside the US. And their English really sucks...

Continuing my thoughts from my last journal entry, I thought I'd touch on that aspect of intercourse that many/most women fear: Anal sex

What is it about anal sex that guys like so much? Why do we always want to nail our girl's backdoor? Isn't it taboo? Filthy?

I can't speak for everyone on here, only myself and my attitude/viewpoint.  There are a number of reasons why I like anal sex with my woman as much as I do, mostly psychological/mental. To me, nothing says submission more than a woman enjoying anal sex. I like to see that combination of pleasure/pain that a woman shows on her face upon entry. I get turned on knowing that what we're doing is "wrong" in the 'nilla world. There's also the visual aspect of seeing my cock disappear into my woman's ass and hear her simultaneously moan in ecstasy as I push deeper. That's a turn on, to say the least.

Obviously, prior to any of this, proper hygiene must be observed. Cleansing enemas make the potential disaster of waste coming out at the wrong time, not a concern. Scat play is definitely not for me or my girl. Warming up is also important so that my slut can enjoy demonstrating her submission to me and my desires.

I also enjoy the use of toys incorporated into these sessions. Another Master recently showed me a photo of a locking anal plug invented/manufactured in Germany. How sweet!

Gotta' love that German engineering mixed with sadistic pleasure!

If you like any of this, let me know.

This is my first journal entry since joining CM.

WARNING: The following is definitely for MATURE audiences only! Viewer discretion is advised...

What do I like to do when I'm alone with a woman...

I thought I'd convey some of the more salacious thoughts I've had and relate some of the play aspects that I like when I'm with my slut.

While I don't consider myself a real sadist there are a few things that I enjoy involving inflicting pain. If given in the right measure, pain can induce some really remarkable experiences for the one on the receiving end.

Some girls get off on pain. Others (the ones I'm interested in at least) use pain to help them get off.  My three  favorite "themes" that I like to incorporate into my play time involves inflicting varying levels of pain on my woman. I'll describe them one at a time.

  Cunt Torture - What can I say, I like to hear a woman crying and begging. I'm also a rope enthusiast and have begun attending Shibari workshops sponsored by the local community. So what do I like to do? Tie you up so you can't move with your legs tied back exposing your ass, blindfold you and make you wear sound dampening headphones. Then whip your cunt with a riding crop or a belt. It won't take long till you're begging and pleading for me to stop, along with a few tears I'm sure. Music to my ears. But lest you think I only have pain in store for you, I'll alternately use an Hitachi on your clit while I stroke your G-spot just the way you like. Then the best part... Bringing you right to the brink, just when you're about to experience Heaven on Earth and you're begging for me to let you release, I switch back to the crop and I get to listen to your screech of terror, pain and frustration. This will go on for as many times as I think you can handle, which, incidentally, will be a lot more than you do... But don't worry, you'll always get your reward in the end. ;-)

  Orgasm Denial - I'm sure everyone knows about this one. After being brought to the edge and being denied, repeatedly, eventually every woman will reach her breaking point, where she's reduced to a pitiful pile of girl goo that can't think straight and begins making deals to be allowed to cum. Oh, how sweet! I MAY actually let you! Then again, maybe not...

Orgasm Overload - This is one of my all time favorites, but only works if my woman can achieve multiple orgasms. And I'm sure that you already know what I'm going to do. Torture you with pleasure. How tired and exhausted are you after, say 10 orgasms? 14? 20? Each one finished with an Hitachi on high when your clit is hypersensitive? Talk about squirming and trying to get away!

So, this is my first installment of some of the things that I like to do during "play time".

If you like it, let me know.