sarahsedai

I've been on this website once or twice before. I'd like to clarify now that I am, for the most part, simply interested in talking to people in the 'lifestyle.' I think that disagreements about the use and the meaning of that word is ridiculous. There are different ideas of what that word means. Anyway. This part of who I am has been, for the most part, tucked deep inside for a long time. So please don't ask me what I 'want'. I'm not sure.

Correction : I want to explore. To understand.

Being submissive is not one aspect of who I am, it is who I am. I'm submissive by nature. I always have been. I didn't start examining it until I got into a relationship where power play was brought into the bedroom. A first for me, I interpreted it at first as a simple desire for kinky sex - for restraints and dirty talk. Over time, I started realizing that it was not just the physical act of submitting that effected my emotionally, but the mental aspect of it. My boyfriend and I began to bring it out of the bedroom for a while, but I quickly learned that he was not dominant - he was just domineering. I refused to let that jade me. I've been out of that relationship for a while now, and I'm much healthier and more comfortable with my curiousity.

But I am also other things as well, and if I were to consider a long-term relationship with someone, I would want them to cherish me, through and through.

I'm not a doormat. I have goals and aspirations for myself. One day I'll meet a person who will love that about me. I am a junior at the University of South Florida. I am working towards my B.A. in interdisciplinary social sciences with a focus on history and anthropology. When I complete my B.A., I plan on going to graduate school and getting my Master's in Library and Information Sciences, and my certification in archiving. I am always thirsty for more knowledge. That can be quenched by reading a book, going to class, having a real conversation with someone.. observing life as it happens.. I'm a student by nature. That won't change.

I feel it is important to briefly mention my spiritual beliefs, because that also makes up a big part of who I am. I respect the views of others and I would like mine to be respected as well. I believe that the true nature of God cannot be understood in simple terms. I think of God as a beautiful, multi-faceted gem. It can be viewed in many different lights - it just depends on where your standing. Each religion that exists is ultimately trying to comprehend the same God. I worship that higher power through the God and the Goddess - through a variety of mediums. Through nature. I believe in the power of energy.

I like being outside. I love to work with horses. I love to hike. I love to camp. I love to curl up and watch a movie. Red wine makes me happy. I'm a hopeless romantic. I've made bad choices in my past. I call them choices and not mistakes - because it was a conscious choice to do some of the things I did. I knew they were wrong when I did them. But I'm a better person for it. I love stand-up comedy. I appreciate the darker things in life, but that doesn't mean I don't like to 'smell the roses' and smile.


As you can see, I'm great at rambling..

Basically, I want to talk to people who I can hold real conversations with and get comfortable enough with to talk about some of my deeper feelings and desires.

Meow.