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I have been told by a select few that my profile appears to be a little on the "downer" side. So I will endeavor to make it more upbeat. :) However, take me as I am... love me or hate me but I will always be me. I will be the phoenix who will rise from the flames.....

My search continues and yet it remains the same. I am truely seeking the One who was meant for me. Fantasy? No, I dont think so. I know my soulmate is out there searchig for me as well. :) We will complete each other.

I know from experience good and bad what to look for and what I now desire in this person who will embrace me in their power and essence.

I am searching for that One who understands my needs and cravings; can anticipate them and bring them to new heights. The One who desire to own me as much as I desire to be owned. To find the one who controls me..through deed and thought. One who can bind me with chains as well as his mind. A loving Daddy; a strict dom and teacher and lover of my soul.
It is true what they say, if you capture my mind...the rest will follow. Are you man enough for the challenge? If so, drop me a line. :)

Mold me into the best I can be yet be gentle enough not to break my spirit? Can you look at me and see that I am yours, that your carress ignites a fire inside of me as much as your whip does? Would you be as proud of your ownership of me as I would be? Can you fulfill both of our needs, wants, and desires of this lifestyle?

I have been in the lifestyle for about 7 years. I have searched for a dominate who understands me and wishes to teach me what I have yet to learn about BDSM. I have discovered that I am an edge player and enjoy knife play as well as blood letting. :) I have also discovered that I am a true bondage slut, the tigher an more restrictive the better.
A desire of wanting, craving to be on the receving end of his whip and flogger needs to be nurtured on a continuous basis.

I am the lady on his arm and his slut in the bedroom.

I long to hear those words he will whisper to me to know I have pleased him...."well done".

There are several here that still do not understand that respect is a two way street, it is earned and need to be earned.
This is just good common sense. So please be respectful.

It would appear that there is somone interested but he seems to have lost his nerve...or is playing a game. 
I mention that I am willing and then he disappears and watches from a sad really, I think he had potental

As a side note, (based on prior posting) why is it when you point out said "problem" to a dom they pout and then wont answer you...especially if they were truely interested in your they would not ask questions CLEARLY already answered in your profile.  Do they really think we are that dumb not to point it out...again respect is a two way street.
Ok either it is WAY to early for me or I am just being overly sensative...but why, WHY is it that a dom can address you as pet, or any other name when he does not own you?  Is it that hard for them to actually READ a profile and call you by your name?  And is it REALLY necessay to write a message in the THIRD person?   If that is your thing, fine, but if asked nicely to stop, would it be so hard to do so?

Some please let me know I am off base here.
I have tried and failed....I have recently lost my father and am not dealing well with his death.  I will be unavailable until further notice.

Thank you
There is a special man in Colorado who has captured my attention......
Once again the heart rules the head and people get hurt.  But it is for the best.  I know and he does too, that we will be much better friends.  Does not mean I love him any less.
Sir are wonderful!! Thank you for wanting to believe in me.
Please be advised that I will not be around for a while due to a death in the family.  Please be understanding.  Thank you
Due to circumstances beyond my control, I will not be around for a while.  I have to deal with a family emergency.  Thank you.
Happy Birthday to me !!!  Yesterday was the anniversary of my birth, am going to celebrate tonight and tomorrow. :)

Love makes you much as it also opens you up to wonderful new gives someone the power to hurt you. 

GRRRRR lol WHY do I put up with long distance relationships...they are very hard to deal with.
I am at my wits end :::sad little smile:::Daddy has is gone away for a while and my need, my craving to feel his flogger and whip carressing my skin is growing day by is its own Monster that needs to be fed.  The good/bad news is that I will have to wait another week.     Does he know what I need?  YES and he exploits it to his advantage. :)  He will be here soon...SIGH but not soon eough.                                                                                                                                    
I wish you would see what I see in you.........I wish you would see what I see when I look at you, you are my babygirl , I love you.... you are beautiful, why cant you believe that?  
Below is a discription of what a Daddy Dom is.....slightly modified.  I can not remember who wrote the original.
A Daddy Dom wants to be the center of your universe. He wants to be able to provide for your every need and care.  He believes more in you than you believe in yourself. What he wants in return is to be able to bask in his image of you, the image he has created. To achieve these goals he relies on a combination of love, respect, and discipline.

His love for his little girl goes without saying. He loves her as much for who she is as for who she will become with his guidance. She is his prized possession. She holds the most tender part of his heart and has the greatest power to hurt him. 

He holds the greatest respect for her.   It is extremely important for him to remember  that she can be with any man but  she chooses to be with him.

This takes great strength on his part to be everything she needs him to be as well as acceptance of who and what she is.

There is something infinitely magical about a Daddy Dom. Perhaps it is something only a little girl can understand
I saw this quote on another's profile and there is a lot of truth in it, so I thought I would share:
" Never make Someone A Priority When They Only Make You An Option "
I could apply this logic to a lot of people.
Are you one of them?
Is the old saying true?  Once a cheater, always a cheater?  When does one stop being the one walked all over?  Or does the fact that you love someone erase the bad?  Can you over look what is staring you right in the face?  Is love really that blind?  OR is it just simple denial, because you can not bare the fact somone you trust broke that trust.....true, everyone makes mistakes; but is it  just another mistake to over look said mistake and forgive and forget?  How can you open your heart to trust again?  
Have you ever experienced a moment in time where all things come together and life is perfect at that time, no matter how brief? 

I miss those special moments, I have been lucky enough to have a few, have you?
When someone says they love you, how do you know if you can believe them?  Is it a look, a touch, an action, something that comes alive inside of you? 
How do you know.....and anymore it is possible to love someone without trusting them. and level of that trust. 
If someone asks you that what they do or do not do is not as important as how they feel, then why would they not do the one little item you have asked of them? 
Isnt love supposed to be about all the little things that makes the world go around?
I had a very interesting conversation today. 

It is not fun to be accused of something you have not done, especially by someone who professed to love you.  And they in turn,  do the same thing they have just accused you of doing. 
Why do people insist on making promises they have no intention of keeping?  Isnt one of the aspects of this way of life supposed to be integrity and honesty? 

But then again, there are always two sides to every story, but only one person gets hurt?  I do not think so. 

When is enough.... enough; and you are finally willing to call it quits just so the hurt will stop?
Not sure what is going on with the Chat would freeze up my computer and now, I can not even see who is sending them to me to message them that it is not working.  Please do not think I am rude because I am not responding one way or the other.  Hopefully Collar Me will fix this problem soon.
What is it with people on this site?  Why is it so hard to be honest?  How do you expect us to trust you if you can not even give us the chance to accept that you MIGHT have a girl friend or be married.  And when your dirty little secret comes out, all of a sudden WE are the home wreckers and people who ruin lives? Save alot of people MUCH heartache down the road by just being up front from the start.  Grow up people and accept the consequences of your actions. 
I need to clarify, the chat request does not work on my laptop.  Please do not send me one.  If you wish to talk to me, please send me a message. :)  I do not mean to be rude, but since this notice is now posted, I will just decline the request.  Thank you.
It STILL amazes me that I find so many dommes on this site that have years of experience or have started young.....all this knowledge wrapped up in a package that is 19 or 20 years old.  And they all say the same....I know what I want and go after it.
It makes me smile to imagine what would happen if they would ever cross paths with a REAL dom/domme.  Would be very interesting to watch. :)
Happy Birthday to MEEEEEE lol it is all about ME.  Well at least it was a few days ago.
And soon I will get to enjoy the spanking part of the birthday too. :) I get to go can vist my Top.  We are both looking forward to spending two glorious weeks together.

Again, I must ask the now age old question of why a person takes the time to respond to a profile, if only to say hello and offer a word of encouragement, they barely get a "thank you" as a reply.  SIGH   But I guess it is better then no response or being deleted.  hmmm the lesser of two evils?????

Sooo much for a Happy Halloween.

Ohh well, on a happier note,  I will get to celebrate with Sir in full costumes, just a little later then the normal date...we will celebrate and then some::EG:: when I see him again on our anniversary in Feb. 
I love seeing "slaves" with profiles who claim to be slaves and are looking for another slave to be used by them (and the Master of course) and to make the slave's life easier.....ok isnt it the slave's responsability to make the Master's life easier?
And not just by getting another slave?
I think perhaps this so called slave needs to go back and redefine her definition of slave, submissive, switch and even BDSM.....just my own humble opinion.
......maybe I need to become a "pro" submissive......
Again I will rant about manners....WHY do people read a simple, polite, message and then do not bother to respond with an equally polite no thank you, please do not bother me or something along the same line......instead they just read it and do not reply.
I think that is just as rude as deleting a message without reading it.  Conversations were not meant to be one-sided.
My time is just as valuable as yours.

hmmm let's is roughly 240 am on Friday morning...I just got back from visiting my Top and it was HEAVEN!....there is nothing I can do or say to describe what transpired between us, :) but wonderful is a good way to start.  I am in the process of Jet Lag and am still on West Coast time so I though I would update my journal while the events and memories are still fresh in my mind.  Got to love the flogger..the parties the outfits and just the one on one time we spent with each other...well anyway am off to bed.  Have a wonderful day!

Happy Birthday to ME!! :) Well a few days ago anyway .....

I still get a smile out of all these new "dominants" who claim they have never done 'this sort of thing before' but it is what they desire.  People please, just because one has chosen to be a submissie or a bottom does not make them any less of a person.  Nor does it entitle the person they have deemed worthy to be their top to treat them like garbage.

When will we ever learn?  I can not let them use ignorance as an excuse any more....there are too many sites out there in this information age that have wonderful information; at least it is a starting point.
ooh well.....


It amazes me how many people who are barely out of their teens believe themselves to be dom/dommes; and many of them have not even had the pleasure of being a submissive. 
Where are all the bois???  And just so we are all clear, boi refers to lesbian not gender males.
I know I need patience as well for finding the one who will fit our needs is time consuming.  Is it you?  If so, please drop me a line.  ::EG::I am soo looking forward to having my own boi slave to tease and watch Daddy play with!!!

SIGH I miss Daddy is hard to be away from him for so long.  But, in a little over 2 months I will be in his clutches once again.  We are both looking forward to this time together!!!  To be at his mercy and at his feet serving him will be my highest pleasure.

And soon, we will be together for all times.  :)
I have received several responses :) (finally !!!)  to my request for a slave.  I am now going through them to see if they meet any of our requirements.  Please have patience.

What has happened to common courtesy?
Why is it so hard for some one to respond to a polite message?  Have manners really become a thing of the past?    Just a little something I have been noticing on here.

But do not get me wrong, the majority of the people I have chatted with are nice.

I have some wonderful responses to my inquiry, however I have also been chastized:  my Top was called "lazy" because I was given this task, and I was called "stupid" because I accepted the task my Top set out for me.    
I am more than willing to answer sincere questions, but if you do not understand what is going on why do people always assume the worst?

I must say that things are looking up. :)  I have yet to find my elusive boi but have been in contact with many other submissves as well as Tops that have been wonderful!

There is a special boi that lives in Austriallia that will make a wonderful boi her Mistress, once their paths finally cross.  Never give up Alex! 
It seems I have finally fallen prey to one of the few who dared to chat, seemed content to email and then just stop corresponding. 

Now I was not looking for anything other then chatting and making friends, however; I still think it is rude to just cease communication.   I would have understood if you would have just said no further comminication  would  be between us.  So did you feel if you ignored me I would go away?  I would have gone quietly into that good night had you just spoken up. 

Why have manners been lost just because a computer is in front of you instead of a person?

Oh well, we all live and learn.  Every day is a school day.  :)


I have been searching and searhing, and have had no luck or response from any submissve lesbian bois.

Where are all the BOIS??? :(

My Daddie and I are serious about having a boi join us.

It has been about a week since I have first entered

Nothing has happened as of yet, the search goes on.

I guess I am fortunate that I have not met any of the liars and fakes so many others have stated they have run across.
:) So I will consider myself lucky.

I hope this luck will eventually lead the boi Daddie is looking for to me soon.