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SantaClausUK

Male Dominant, 45, Santa Barbara, California
santamonicadom
Male Dominant, 44, Santa Monica, California
santacruzkid
Male Switch, 23, Danville, California
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SantaClausUK - Male Dominant, My lap land | BDSM Profile on Collarspace

SantaClausUK - Male Dominant, My lap land | BDSM Profile on Collarspace - photo 1
SantaClausUK - Male Dominant, My lap land | BDSM Profile on Collarspace - photo 2

Friends:
GingerMinge

About SantaClausUK

This mailbox is where I will be recieving
mail from grown up girls telling me what they want for Christmas.

I have recently relocated from Lapland.

Unfortunately, you won't be lucky enough to visit my "Lap" land to tell me what you'd like in person.

I can't delivering all presents in person.

I need an army of elves.
One of them monitors my secret BDSM dating profile for me.

My age is knocked down so I don't get filtered out. I am a couple of thousand years old (not 30) so I'm an even worse liar than everyone else on this site.

Profile text gets ripped off sometimes as has this in the past so I'm putting my profile name in here SantaClausUK. It that isn't the profile name then you are reading ripped off text.

Some have accused me of being a rip off of "Basil of Caesarea" (some guy who according to the greeks gave presents on January the first)

In vanilla life I am known as Saint Nicholas of Myra. I am renowned for being a pious Christian giving dowries to young women to avoid them needing to become prostitutes.

In return for which, they would have sex with me.

I must admit that third photo of me is a really old one. It's actually medieval.
Nobody ever envisaged me in a red outfit until a famous CocaCola advert where I was dressed like that.

Copyright 2009 SantaClausUK
Santa discovered that some of the hate mail women get on here comes from frustrated scammers who hate westerners.  So if you get any of that stuff.
Email them back and taunt them.

Never IM unless you know who you're talking to and your firewall has all ports showing green on the shields up test at www.grc.com.

Regards

Santa

Sorry I've got held up in Sweden...


Funny how everyone wants to know me on Christmas Eve.

Please be patient.

To be honest, I'm looking out at that weather and me and the reindeers are looking at each other with a "fuck that" look in our eyes.

It was an unrealistic schedule doing every home on Earth in one night anyway.
This year (2009) started very badly in the UK.

Some scottish guy (high on prescribed but contraversial drugs) re classified canabis from the start of January despite his own scientific advisors telling him it was harmless.
When their chief advisor Professor David Knutt (Chairman of the UK Government's Drugs Advisory Council) complained about the stupidity of it, he was fired.

For now let's skip the worst thing about all this (the fact that our taxes are being used to interfere in our private lives and imprison anyone who disagrees).

The year ended better with the media now having chaged sides.
They now support the scientific concensus and of course their opinion is all that matters.

Hopefully in 2010 we can look forward to it's legalisation and an end to a massive persecution campaign which has raged here since 1971.

Lot's of my friends have spent lots of time in prison for no good reason.

Public health has been harmed as certain vital issues have been missed.  Our experts tell us canabis makes holes in your lungs when there is no evidence of it doing that before.
They offer no explicable mechanism but merely interpret statistics as a small child might.

A common pesticide which is known to be a permanent irritant to the human lung (diatometous earth contimues to be used because our experts haven't noticed it is killing thousands of people.

Anyway, Santa would like to suggest a new rallying cry now we know canabis will inevitably be legalised.

We have a drugs czar
(last time i checked it was Keith Halliwell)
We don't have a murder czar or a robbery czar because the police don't need to be forced to investigate those crimes.  Those crimes are not such a priority anyway.

Most police officers know how wrong this law is and that is why they need to be forced to enforce it.

We now need a new rallying cry of prosecuting people like Keith who have done something so bad to so many people for so long.

If they admit this law was wrong then they should also admit that the people who most made this persecution possible should get a taste of their own medicine.

Santa wants justice
If you agree post it in your journal and make Santa happy

We can't undo what has been done.
Innocent people can't be given back the best years of their lives.  But we can try to make it less likely to happen again by making an example.
Our money and our lives have been flushed down the toilet.  Our views have been disregarded (initially because we were in a minority and then later because they don't like admitting to having screwed up with too much arrogance).
A new vacancy has arisen at the grotto...

Applicants must be OK with wearing leather harnesses and like pony play.

Only reindeer need apply!
Santa's staller mail....
If the people of Nigeria want to write to Santa then Santa wants to write to them.
I've been busy all day because it's a Saturday.

OK,

I'll grant you your wish little girl.

Please send me the email address you want me to send to
The one you've sent me looks like it's got a spelling mistake in it.

Regards

Santa
Notice how on a weekend Santa get's a lot more requests for bank details as Christmas presents form Nigerian girls and boys.

This means that Santa and others mustn't be giving them what they want for Christmas enough and they are having to do regular jobs too during the week.

Dear SugarMummy,

Unfortunately I can not grant you your wish for Christmas (emailing you at your private email address).

The rules are: naughty girls who spend all year scamming people don't get presents from Santa.

Regards

Santa
As a new elf joining the team I thought I should introduce myself.

Ever since I was a child I have always fantasized about knowing what the hell you women want from me.

Anyway, as luck would have it, I got a community service order for paying my council tax late and found myself working as an elf for Santa.

My back was aching from hauling all those presents and after an appropriate risk assessment by our health and safety elf I was put in charge of Santa's secret BDSM dating profile.
The ratio of people wanting presents against the number of people wanting to be presents is still slightly out of wack in some areas.

Most places it's nicely balanced (0 presents and 0 naughty present receivers).
If some of you want presents and some of you want to be presents then I can deliver without even getting the sleigh out
Well these journals are enlightening.

One thing that comes through in a certain recurring really long (and very boring) entry is that some of you yanks have a hell of a lot less money than us Brits.

I thought you were rich.

I am gobsmacked by how poor you are.

Child support that a paperboy could pay.
Inheritances that wouldn't buy a decent car.

Dear oh dear - you do need santa more than we do.
Some of you are tipping me off as to how naughty you've been all year by the sort of things you are asking for.

I probably need to stress the onlineish nature of this profile.

Despite my not being able to resist the "Lap" Land joke in my profile I am actually 2000 years old so well past dating.

The elf who answers my mail for me isn't much younger than I am.
I just caught a couple of elves perving women's profiles.

Obviously, that wasn't Santa checking out your photos.
I can't believe I'm not innundated.

I expected to be snowed under in requests.  Maybe it'll heat up a bit as we get closer to christmas.

Maybe this is like a watched kettle and I need to log out for a few hours.
Maybe as a result of manning this profile I'll finally figure out what women want.
What a shock.

I just saw this site without filters

Page one is 22 guys 2 couples and one solitary woman.

Oh dear
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