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Female Submissive, 47, East Texas, Texas
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Male Dominant, 52, Nampa, Idaho
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Male Switch, 28, London
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About SanityRules
I have high standards and only do RT not online.
I'm not the type that has specific fetishes. Rather it depends on who I'm with, who we are together, and what is interesting to do with that woman. Although lately the idea of being kept in chastity has been a large turn on. I've been reading on the power of chastity, the tao of sexuality, and it's fascinating. Gaining energy and creativity through restraining orgasms.
I'm more relationship oriented, just doing certain acts/play doesn't excite me nearly as much as who I'm doing it with.
I tend to be more playful than serious, I love humor and laughter.
Many think of dominance and submission as a set defined thing. A submissive once told me that she could never submit to a man who had ever been in a submissive role. That is quite silly, even Jesus was as a servant.
Without an understanding of what following is, how does one learn to lead?
Real dominance in a legitimate relationship is being a leader, providing a vision, a mission, a path. Making decisions quickly and if the wrong decision is made to change paths just as quickly.
Molding the relationship through the ups and downs of life. Exploring and using imagination to find the strengths and weakness within them as well as others.
Refining strengths rather than chastising weaknesses.
Regardless of who is in charge relationships are about inspiring each other to fulfill the other ones needs.
Some submissives are that way due to a low self esteem, so are some "dominants". Any relationship whether bdsm or vanilla should be about bolstering each other, building up self and other.
Yes it can take tearing down to rebuild, not tearing down the other simply to make yourself feel taller.
The submissive craves leadership, that does not mean everything is suppose to be one sided nor that a submissive is that way in all areas of life.
Take for example most people are far more comfortable being an employee rather than being the one running the company.
Yet some of those excel at leading others beneath them at the direction of the leader. Many that play at being dominant think of it only as "you do what I say or be punished" or as a easy way to cover their own insecurities rather than inspiring others to give them what they want.
Whereas submissives can find themselves while submitting and as a result become stronger, confident, and bold.
Life, relationships, love, are all things to be navigated, correcting the course as the waters become smooth or rough.
Mistakes will be made, and should be embraced and learned from. Our society and education system trains people to avoid mistakes and risk as a bad thing.
Those that excel look forward to mistake realizing they learned a way not to do something. Without risk in life there is no growth or expansion of mind, lifestyle, character, and joy.
God didn't put us here to suffer, he put us here to experience joy, laughter, and love. Pain and suffering is something we bring upon ourselves by not paying attention.
Expect the best in life, demand the best from yourself and others. It is an insult to a person to accept less than what they can be.
Have a fantastic day! |
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