Have you ever stopped and had a blaring moment of thought in the oddest place and time?
I went to buy groceries today. I saw this young woman occassionally chatting with another woman while shopping the aisles.
Then at the checkout the two women were in different lines waiting their turns. They still carried on their conversations but now everyone can hear them.
Whatever happened to discretion?
Anyway, the women were chatting about a suprise birthday party. The one giving it, apparently never married but has three children by different men, was happy to throw the party for the man who was taking care of her and her children. She was telling the other woman that altho He didnt work he sometimes helped out around the house. The other woman seemed amused and smiled.
As I turned to look at my own line (I was next to check out) I noticed the woman in front of me and that it was taking a long time for her to pay her bill. She and the man with her just kinda looked around quietly as the cashier wrote on her WIC stub.
The man was wearing probably a 150.00 pair of sneakers and dressed with those expensive boxers, black with a white band, hanging out of the top of his jeans.
The lady was wearing a nice pair of jeans and blouse. The couple didnt seem to go together. He seemed more "street" to her classic style.
But what caught my attention was the cashier trying to pay with the WIC check. (I know very little about the system but apparently it needed a social security number which was missing.) The check couldnt be used and the woman turned to the man and asked for money for the milk and food for her babies. The man walked away without an answer and stood by the door leaving her alone.
The lady , embarrassed, told the girl she couldnt pay for it and to put it back on the shelf. She left quickly and with the man.
As I stood there unloading my groceries I thought well, maybe I should have bought it for her and as that thought was entering my head another man in the distance looked at me.
"Do you know what love is? Anyone can make a baby. That doesnt make love. I'll tell you what love is. Its making sure her babies are warm and fed. Its making sure her electricity works and that she has water. Its getting up and going to work every day to make her life worthwhile. THAT's what love is."
I felt sorry for those women and thought what if that were me? Would I be able to know what love is and when a man really loves me? Would I know what a true man is? Or would I for the sake of my babies settle for anyone to make me look "decent" to the world??
AND, what about me? I dont need a man to do those things. I work, I have a mortgage, pay my bills..etc. Does that mean by his reference I dont need a man?..or love?
As I walked to my car I saw the man who spoke to me leaning against his car. He didint speak to me this time. He just lit his cigarette and watched me as He did, slowly..methodically..
As I got in my car I wondered, could he hear my thoughts?? What if he is right? Where does that leave me?
