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Male Dominant, 49, Costa Mesa, California
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Male Dominant, 35, Corte Madera, California
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Male Dominant, 47
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About SadisticBlackMan
I am about CONTROL through D/s
Quick facts:
My first S&M experience was in grad school in 1991 where I controlled, whipped, tied up, fisted and totally sexually controlled a girl who introduced Me to S&M, for 2 years.
I am much more interested in emotional surrender and real submissiveness over any amounts of kinkiness, or pain you can take. S&M has it's place but it is not what primarily motivates Me
Be honest, sincere, respectful, humble, patient and have the time to give to Me, or you are wasting my time.
I have had 3 multi-year BDSM relationships (from 5 to over 10 years each) , some overlapping, and I want one now that will last forever. Additionally, from age 28-31 I trained a woman to become a total slave to the man she eventually married. She was very smart with a CPA, MBA, and now is a successful attorney in San Diego. She taught me that there is nothing that a woman will not do for a man, when she is sincere!
The woman in the pics was my totally surrendered sub from 2005-2009 when she relocated to Pennsylvania, near the Ohio border to care for her terminally ill mother. I am the only man she had ever done BDSM with or been submissive to. The distance caused the relationship to end in 2010 but she still came to NYC infrequently to see me as recently as 2013.
No other relationship in this world can equal a woman giving Me control of her body and mind to cherish, protect, guide and use in any way I desire!
I Want...
- To being entrusted with the responsibility to take care of her emotionally and physically as I make her into someone everyone else will desire to have... but can't!
To having her willing to sacrifice, suffer, grow and evolve for Me... in ways she could not do on her own .
To have her ignore A/anyone's opinions of how she should serve a truly dominant Man... who just happens to be black!
To have a woman who gets completely mentally and physically excited at the realization of the purely dominant and sadistic skills and experiences I have developed.... even if she is not the only one who fulfills 100% of those desires!
To have a woman who knows that the safety and security of O/our relationship is primarily influenced and protected by her CONSISTENT surrender and submission to my dominance and guidance... in spite of anything else!
To own a woman who knows that LOVE is demonstrated through complete and total SURRENDER to Me FOR LIFE... and in doing so, she will be loved!
To own a woman who no O/one can influence, nor ever change... But ME!
In any relationship I enter, I place a very higher value on Consistency, Honesty, Respect, Integrity, Intelligence, Maturity, Obedience, Humility and Sacrifice above any amount of S&M! The demonstration of those attributed is how real TRUST, and other emotional connectivity, is established and maintained! TRUST takes both TIME and actual EXPERIENCES together!
A woman's consistent mental, emotional and physical submission and surrender will create My desire for a lasting relationship with her. This profile is simply the manifestation of that reality that I have experienced over many years.
If I choose you, W/we will develop something special, unique, lasting, emotional, loving, meaningful, purifying... like no other type of relationship.
I have a very comprehensive profile on the page that begins with "F" has "ET" in the middle and ends with "life" under the same name... there are more pictures and a lot of writing that explains more about who I am, etc.
PS: It does not matter where in the world you are now, if you and I develop into anything meaningful, you will eventually have to relocate to Me, here, in New York City. I don't do Internet, or phone; I do reality!
My BDSM Quiz Results
You Scored as Dominant
Sadist 100%
Dominant 100%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur 93%
Experimental 50%
Bondage 29%
Degradation 2%
Masochist 7% (I sometimes enjoy having my nipples bitten while fucking, lol)
Vanilla 7% (could be higher for the right one. lol)
Switch 2%
Submissive 0%
"Wasted time is wasted passion... Don't allow fear or ignorance to stand in your way."
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I swear the funniest thing happened last night. I went to a bar in Brooklyn, near Grand Army Plaza to meet some vanilla friends from college. Two cute 30-something, white women were shamelessly flirting with me and in the course of conversation I told them I am a dom and sadistic to boot. To my surprise they asked if I would spank them both. Thank you; you psychologically undomly Christian Grey!!! LMAO... So I squeezed the 2 of them into my 2 seater SL at 3 am and went back to one of they place where I must say, they both took a decent spanking with a hair brush on their asses, inner thighs and pussies until 6 am! I totally enjoying them trying to one-up each other, fighting back tears. They wanted to mess around (at 6 am, I'm TIRED and not desperate) but I said next time when they both take even more from me I will gladly fuck them both at an earlier hour...
I am so presumptuous!!! LMAO
I LOVE spanking inexperienced nice positive white girls.... And even more, pissing off anyone who feels indifferent about my brazen proclivities!
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terry's First Experiences with a Cane, etc.
Sir, this is gonna be hard for me as it was a rather overwhelming night of firsts for me and emotional, but I will try. I specifically begged You to treat me like a slave and not be gentle with me because I wanted to see bruises from every strike and i wanted to have to take it for You.
So my first experience with a cane, was a rather painful and shocking one. I think you gave me hits with the cane in series of 3 and the more you went on, the more they hurt. I yearned to feel your soothing hand on my ass and thighs, both front and back, where you hit me with the cane. It was hard trying to bear with the pain no matter how hard I tried. I hope I put my best effort in dealing with it, Sir. I thank you for comforting me in between you doing that. It was much needed as this was a new experience for me. I felt safe in your arms after you inflicted that pain on me.
Another first for me was when you whipped me, especially on my back. I tried to take as much of that as I could. I appreciate that you did not whip me extremely hard as I was concerned with not only with the bruising, but my spine. I do suffer with typical back pain sometimes, but there's not much muscle there and that was a concern for me. I enjoyed when you used your whip on my ass and pussy though. It hurt, but it was not as bad as the cane.
I also enjoyed, though it was hard, you slapping me on my thighs and my ass. I preferred it though because, it was YOUR hand and not some instrument. I have a thing for feeling hands on me, preferably caressing me, feeling the care and security. I did realize that you have slapped my thighs harder this time than you did the last time. That's what caused me to react they way I did. I thank you Sir for holding me in between and allowing me to calm down. It meant alot to me.
Watching the dvd, well by this time, I felt emotional after what you put me through. It was hard. Watching the pain that Gretchen was going through. It was unbearable. I don't want to know how she did it...
I also remember you hitting my titties with your belt. Another first. I guess last nite was full of first for me. My titties are very sensitive. Thank you for having mercy on them....
It was a really humbling experience kissing and licking your feet. Also when you asked me to suck on your toes as well as me holding your cum juices in my mouth until you allowed me to swallow...
As a result of all of this, I stayed in bed for the remainder of the evening. I was tired. I am suffering with a sore ass and thighs right now. It is extremely difficult for me to sit and my thighs are very sensitive as they are bruised as well. I know this pleases you to see the damage or the results of your hard work. I am glad it does...
One more thing, thank you for letting me sit in your lap. It was a privilege for an unworthy bitch as myself. I am sorry if it seemed like I got too comfortable. I will be aware of that if there should be any other times that you grant me that honor.
Most of all, it was my pleasure, making you happy and crying for you. I want to satisfy you Sir. It feels good when you tell me I am doing so. Then I know I am doing my job in my journey of becoming a good submissive to you, Sir...
Until next time,
an unworthy but very grateful bitch.... |
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The following an email regarding a meeting I had with a submissive/masochistic woman in 2009. I am allowing people to see these journals so they can understand what I am about from the actual accounts of the woman...
Dear Sir,
As you requested, here is a detailed account of our meeting yesterday.
You call me and told me that it is past time for my bi-monthly meeting with you. Per our agreement, i know that i must come to you at least once every 4-6 weeks at your discretion. You tell me that you want me there in 3 days without fail and what time I am supposed to meet you in the morning. As has always been the case, i am not to eat certain foods and I also perform enemas the 2 days before. You tell me what to wear: a sexy little black dress and high strappy heels and no panties nor bra. It does not matter the weather, Your desires supercede all else. We meet at the address you give me at 11am and you come out to meet me.
On the way up the elevator you make me recite my Affirmation to ensure I know why you have allowed this time. You seem pleases not only with the fact that it is exactly as you told me but also You say I appear nervous knowing the long day ahead. my pussy is already wet just from seeing you and your strong arms and chest muscles bulging through your shirt. You open the door to the apartment for me and i notice that you already have everything out waiting to be used. Once inside, i know that you want me to go to the bathroom and return naked as soon as possible. While in the bathroom i look at myself in the mirror knowing that there will be bruises all over that will be there for several days to come. If i am lucky there will be marks visible for a week or more. Before anything happens you tell me to get on my hands and knees on the rug, ass up. You visually inspect me and then have me stand and inspect me again. While I am doing that you are explaining to me that you need to take care of something. You tell me I haven't been behaving well and you need to discipline me for that and as a result i can expect to be whipped with the sjombok today. This instantly makes me very nervous because that whip is the most extreme tool i have ever experienced and it truly scares me. i also know that You are right in that i have not been behaving as i should. i sometimes wish i could come see you more often but that it is difficult because of my schedule. Also you don't feel that I can take such sessioning more often and you want me to learn to endure the humility of withdrawal as well.
As always because I an not to be treated as a vanilla woman, the first physical feeling I get of you is one of pain. You have me bend over the table and you take a before pic of my ass. Then you pick up your belt , fold it in half and hit my ass.. You hit my ass again just as hard and make me count out each one. I know I will get five, because this is the fifth time I am coming to see you. Intense red marks appear on my ass. You hit me again and again and by the fifth time I am begging you to have mercy and that I will do better, I promise. When you are done you take a picture of my red hot ass with belt marks raised and swollen. You tell me to stand, and you tell me that you are happy to see me and you hug me, I hug you back. I love your hugs and an happy to engure anything to get then because they are so passionate. You smell good too. You tell me to get on my hands and knees in front of the table and you tightly bind my breast and them my arms. Then you put me to be displayed on stand. As I stand there the metal bar is digging deeply into my crotch and it is hurting more and more. you spend the next hour or so methodically caning me on my legs, breast, and butt. I have no idea how many times you did but i feel a deep connection to you and in a way you are patient and almost caring as you enjoy tormenting me. I just can't put that feeling into words the way you make me feel and the things you say to encourage and further torment me.
After a break you get ropes and tie each hand to the legs on the bed. Then more rope to tie my feet together after slipping off my shoes. The ropes keep me from being able to move in any direction. Then you get the paddle and start spanking my ass, slowly and softly at first but then faster and harder..I can only wiggle my ass back and forth but that doesn't keep me out from getting more and more. You stop for a minute and take a picture then you get the cane and start to smack the bottom of my feet with it. Over and over, I beg you to stop but that is all it is is begging, you hear no safe words. Just when you think I can't take anymore you hit them one last time and then stop. You tell me what good girl I am and slide under me so I am allowed to suck your cock. You tell me to suck and lick your nipples which I happily do. Touching any part of you makes my pussy throb. You take the cane and hit the back of my thighs, my skin so sensitive it bruises right away. It hurts more than I think it would and I don't know if I can take it, but I do because you want me to. You rub my legs and my ass with your hand pleased with what you have done. After every rub you smack my ass hard with your hand, every time I am not expecting it because you don't stop rubbing and your hand never leaves my ass because you are using your other hand. I can't see you, there are no reflections or mirror to see you. I only know you are there because of that hand on my ass and I can feel the warmth from your body. When you are done you untie me long enough to have me turn over. Then you tie me again to the legs of the bed. You untie my feet and then tie them to the bed so they can't be straightened. You start to spank my pussy with your hand hard. You remind me that you can and will use it in ways that most men would never enjoy nor care to do. i appreciate that you don't see me as a sex object but rather a woman to be made to endure pain and suffering for your enjoyment first and foremost. My sexual cravings for you are only a tool you use to make me suffer more for you. You enjoy spanking my pussy until it is swollen and deep red from all the spanking. You won't stop until it is very sore to the touch. While doing this you make me reflect on men from my past and if they would care for me if they could see what you are doing to me now. I know they would never want to fuck my pussy when it is so bruised and raw. You finger my pussy and tell me You control what happens next. If I don't cum until you tell me to you may choose to fuck me as a reward. If I cum before you say so your hand ends up inside my pussy. Then you start to play with my clit while whispering in my ear all the things I love to hear...I am yours, I belong to you, you will do whatever you want with me and so on...the whole time you are saying these things my body is tingling and I am starting to shake, my pussy is wetter and throbbing more. You tell me it isn't time yet as you tease me more and more so much that I can't take it anymore and I cum. You laugh because that's what you were hoping would happen... You tell me now I've had my pleasure you will have yours. You put two fingers inside my pussy deep and hard, then a third and I start to squirm. Soon the fourth finger goes in and now I start to moan loudly from the pressure and the pain. I try to shut my legs but the rope keeps me open. You put your fingers in and out of my pussy and it hurts. The you make a fist and press your way into my wet pussy..you have the camera nearby and take a picture of your arm sticking out of me while tears come to my eyes. After you are satisfied that my tears are genuine you untie me, hug me and make me suck your dick. The You tell me to wash up you order a light lunch to be delivered.
After lunch you spend the next hour or so with Me discussing the morning and how it makes me feel. (edited)
At 3 PM you tell me to strip down and you inspect me. YOu like the bruises that are there but remind me that you still have not punished me yet. I spend the next few minutes trying to convince you that i have been a good girl and please show me mercy, but deep inside i know this is a waste of time. i also know you enjoy having me begging for mercy like this and i an sincere in that i really wish you would reconsider. But I also know that you are not a weak man to be manipulated and I know that I need that in You.
The fact that you can be so kind to me during lunch and then calmly tell me it's time for punishment and mean it makes me shake. I never see you lose your temper, but still know that You will punish me thoroughly whenever you see must. The sjombok scares me because the pain is so throbbing and it takes so little apparent effort from you to cause so much pain. You start off gently which only scares me more because i know that this teasing is part of your punishment. While tied down, I never know when the really painful strokes are coming and you enjoy hearing my cries and screams during punishment so that i will appreciate your kindness even more.
Afterwards you have me lie there for some time until I recover. You check my bruises and marks and take more pictures. Then you put on a glove and start fingering me asshole. I can't remember all of what happened because my head was spinning, but I know you stretched it out and used a dildo and large butt plug in it. You made me keep the large but plug in it for a long time. When it started to come out you used rope to tie it into place. Then you made me get up and walk around with it in place. I felt lightheaded so you let me lie back down. Then you made me get up again and it hurt so bad to walk around in those heels with the large plug up my ass. This creates deep emotional feelings within me which we have discussed before. Then You make me get dressed with the butt plug still tied in my ass. Thisis so humiliating to me when You take me outside like that. Anyone who sees how I am walking next to You, must know that You have used me very intensly sexually and i get alot of looks from both men and women. I can tell some of them are very annoyed at how I am dressed and walking. Most of the white men look at me so disapprovingly and angrily but don't say anything to either You nor me. When you are ready you walk me back to the apartment. You take the plug out and remove all the rope from my breasts too. Then You make me go to the bathroom and shower. When I am done you make me crawl back to you and then you start to spank me on my bruises until I am begging you to have mercy. When you finally make me cry until I feel i can't take anymore. I really, really want to to hold me and help me to stop crying. Only You have been able to always take me to the place where i need you in order i can't fully explain it. You are holding me up as I am shaking and lead me into the room. You order me to lie on the bed and you order me to compose myself. While I am trying to do so, you get into the bed and spread my legs. The realization that you are going to enter me overwealms me and as you talk softly to Me I still can't control the feelings. I am so bruised and sore that as you enter me the pain along with the pleasure that you are inside me is driving me crazy. After about 10 minutes, You tell me that i must cum at the end of reciting my Purpose. You are simply holding me with your dick inside me and as I say it, I feel such a connection to You. This feeling you create and control is so emotional. Afterwards I gladly drink all the cum out of the condom. Then you get up and go to the bathroom to clean up. Then you have me get dressed again and then You put a collar on my neck. No panties again under my dress as you tug and pull on my pussy and clit in the elevator. While walking down the street to your beautiful Benz,and then at the restaurant I can feel all the bruises that are there. At dinner we sit next to one another so you can reach over and touch me wherever You desire. As usual I make no eye contact with anyone except you. You tell me to take notice of people staring. As always you tell the waitress that You will be ordering for both. I can see the displeasure in some of the other patron's faces as they detect my subservience to You. I can tell some of the people are watching our interactions. At the conclusion of the meal you order dessert and another drink. You spend some time discussing the days events and other things with me. When the waitress brings the check, you nod to me and I ask her for it. When You decide it it time to leave, i can feel the increased anger and shock of some when they see me asking you how much to leave as a tip and then they see me ask to pay the bill too. It is very amusing to observe people's reactions to this. After dinner you drop me drop off at my car. Its time for me to go you say otherwise you may give me more than i can handle in one day; You allow me to give you a long hug which only makes me want you more. I am sending this email detailing the day for your records and to affirm the consenual nature of all our interactions. i hope you are pleased with the details.
Respectfully
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The following are 2 emails sent to Me from a wonderful woman in Connecticut I know, regarding a session we shared together earlier this year... Enjoy.
6/2/09
Sir,
I want to be treated like a piece of property by you. I want to be treated like I am there to serve as your toy... I know there isn't a predudice bone in your body but, I want to become a little white whore for you to punish, torture, use however you want. I know and have seen attractive white women seek you out sexuallybecause of your personality and I want to do something different and special for you. I want to be used for your cruelty.
I want to whimper, whine, cry, and beg... and to learn that that means nothing. I want to realize that I am truly not in control, to have it shown to me up close and personal, to have no doubt about my place. I want to know that I deserve this, that this is what I exist for. That it is your right, and it is my place.
I want to know what it truly means to suffer for someone's pleasure.
I want to know that you enjoy this. I want to know that all of my fear, pain, and suffering pleases you.... fuels you.
I want to be spanked, caned, and to have a belt used on me. I like impact play way more than anything else, but I can handle clothes pins on my cunt lips or nipples. I am scared to death of canes. I fantasize alot about being told someone is going to take a belt to my tits, or take a belt to my cunt. It seems so harsh, and the idea alone is very scary. I can go without being tied down, unless it is going to get very hard for me to handle. Even just having my cunt spanked makes me clamp my legs shut, and I've always wanted someone to make me take that. Having my tits spanked or whipped really gets into my head too... they are something someone is supposed to be 'nice' to, and mine are pretty;, its very humiliating for me to have to look down at them and see what's been done. All of that aside, a good ass beating is always needed too. I like collars and gags alot. I don't really care what you do or how, I just want to know that I am completely out of control, and I am going to suffer for your pleasure. I need to know that you enjoy this.
Pain makes my cunt drip... literally. I like being teased about that, but I also like it to be ignored. What I mean is, if you want to use the fact that being treated like this turns me on to humiliate me, so be it... but to rub me or give me pleasure, no. It's not about me, not about my pleasure, not about my wet cunt. It's about suffering for YOUR pleasure, not my own.
I am scared, because I know what I want and need, I know what I've experienced in the past, but it has been a really long time. I am unsure of where my limits rest at this point, but I want to find out. I think being taken further mentally than I am physically is a good place to start. I need both to be intense, but my primary need here is the absolute loss of control... I will leave it up to your intelligence, intuition, and past experience to determine how to get me there. I definitely think it is far safer to 'under' torture, then over.
I want a safe word. I do want to reach a point in time where I have the trust in someone to let that go... someday I want to experience what it is really like to be tortured, to truly be under the control of someone else.. and I can't get there with a safe word - but I am far from ready for that right now.
I hope this gives you better insight,
(ananymous)
AND AFTER WE MET on 6/5/09...
I had a wonderful day today Sir. :) I laid in bed for an hour this morning... my ass and my thighs were SO sensitive, they hurt everytime I moved, but I LOVED the way it made me feel everytime my soft sheets brushed against them. All I kept thinking about was what they look like, and how that is my little secret. What I went through to get them, and how that makes me feel so good. I haven't felt anything close to that in a long time, and it's really nice. Thank you SO much.
When I got there yesterday, I was so nervous I was shaking. That isn't like me at all, usually I walk in like I know exactly what I am getting, what someone is going to do. I didn't know what to expect, and I liked that. I felt nervous, scared, and intimidated. I haven't had a place to feel really submissive in a long time and I have really missed it. Just... that feeling of knowing I had better be on my toes, paying attention, listening, and to react quickly and just as someone has told me to without any questions. I need to be out of my head like that so much, no thinking, just doing.
I don't know how I feel about the whole speculum thing... to be honest with you, I've never had anyone do that to me, aside from being at the doc's. It really hurt, and I didn't like it. It made me feel more scared than anything, because it's this thing you don't want anyone doing without knowing what they're doing. Having it pulled out without being closed HURT, and I didn't like it at all. I kind of prefer sticking to the ususal beat your ass stuff when it comes to pain.
I believe the first yellow I gave you was laying on my back on the floor and having that wire thing used on me. I heard you say 'wow' when I said it... that immediately made me feel bad. I wanted so much to please you, impress you, make you happy... it made me feel like I'd let you down before anything even happened. It made me feel like you were thinking I was going to be nothing but a waste of your time. I said it because things were starting out a little hard for me. But i begged to have it start out that way. I mentioned to you later in the car about warming up, and I felt like I needed that - ESPECIALLY since it's been such a long time since I've done this. I was not in the head space to be taking things really hard yet, partially because I was scared about what was going on with my pussy after the speculum and your hand, and because I hadn't relaxed and let go of anything yet. I just wasn't 'all in' yet, and I was fighting it instead of accepting it... and until I do that, I can't handle much of anything. But I wanted to be dealt with forcefully, it's more about the mental transition than anything.
The second time was with my feet. I do not handle bastinado well, though I'd doubt most people do. I once had someone tie me down so I couldn't move and use a cane on them 400 times. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. My friend I mentioned that lives up in Mass. It was one of the worst things I've ever experienced, but I consented to it before hand and knew exactly what he was going to do. Ever since then, I've never let anyone do it. There were two things that I couldn't handle when you did it..... how hard it was... it doesn't have to be hard at all to be excruciating... and that it 'wrapped'. You know, when you whip someone and the end wraps around their body or whatever? You were hitting the top of my foot a few times, and that sent me through the roof.
The next few times were with the cane... I think on the front of my thighs. I was very into that. I just reached a point where it was too hard too often and I couldn't take anymore without a break. The six on the insides of my thighs were especially hard to take. The ones you did up close to the top of my leg/pelvis were very intense.
I liked it when you sat on the couch and I was on the floor with my back to you and my legs spread. That was really hard for me to take because my thighs were already so so sore... but I liked watching it on tv... I liked the way you kept telling me I could take it... and yeah, admittedly, the being close to someone able to hold on to something made it much easier to take.
The first time I started to really cry hard and feel myself losing it was when you started on my ass. I don't know.. I just had reached this point in time where I didn't know what to do with pain anymore. I didn't know how to make myself take it anymore, because I felt like I had already been through so much. I was pretty lost at that time, but I do remember the first time you said something about how I wished I could hug you or something and you have no idea how much I needed to hear that. I just didn't know what to do with myself, with you, with what I knew you wanted, nothing. I was starting to go downhill and when you started on my ass again I was so torn because I wanted to please you. I did it... and then that's when I really lost it, said "red" the first time, and had my nonstop crying for a while.
I felt like I had no direction, no thoughts, nothing. I had turned around and done what you wanted even though I knew I REALLY didn't want to... there was something about the mix between doing something I knew I couldn't just because you said to, the fact that I couldn't do it and felt disappointed in myself, being completely spent, and feeling like I was losing all control of anything and everything. The situation, myself, what you had the power to do to me, etc. I don't know, I am still kind of processing the whole thing. I've never felt like that, it was a million different emotions at once, not really any particular thoughts. I just felt overwhelmed and like I didn't know what to do, and that scared me. I couldn't even control how much I was crying. I really needed what you did and how you handled it, I was out of my mind and needed someone to hold on to, to ground me... I don't know how to explain it. I guess I only know what I needed because that is what you did and how you made me feel and it made me better.
Taking all of those on my ass extra that you kept asking for..... ohhhh, that was hard. Really hard. In that moment, I hated it that you kept asking me. I felt like, how can you be doing this to me? You see what state I am in, I am telling you no I can't, and you're still asking. I guess it says something that I still did it... but you don't know how hard it was. I am so happy that you were strong enough not to stop.
It's all very jumbled what I was thinking and feeling during all of that crying, because there wasn't much thinking just overwhelming emotion. But one thing that does stick out... I remember in my paniced state thinking, no, I have to go, I can't do this, I have to leave, I just want to go. I was envisioning getting dressed, my hair and face a mess, and running to my car where I would be alone and safe... and what scared me most about that, was I knew I didn't want to be alone, I couldn't be alone... all of a sudden it was like I was dependent on someone and I didn't want to admit that was true. I felt so weak and like I couldn't even handle myself and I didn't know WHAT to do. I guess I was mixed up between feeling like the only thing I knew to do was to go be back in the real world and then I could stop how I was feeling... and also knowing if I made myself alone, even more so I wouldn't know what to do and would be scared. That back and forth just made me even more confused and like I didn't know what to do. Oh my god, it was intense, you just don't know. You were WONDERFUL with me though, really... I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't taken care of it. I think part of it wouldn't have even matter what you did specifically, but you gave me something to hold on to.. someone to look to.. someone who was going to lead the situation, tell me what to do, and for as scared as I was by what I was feeling emotionally, it made me feel safe. Laying me down and getting on top of me was good. There was no going anywhere, and I felt safe and like I just could let it all out.
All in all... I liked it whenever I told you I couldn't, and you said I could. It made me feel like someone had faith and belief in me, and I wanted to live up to that. It helped me alot.
I've been thinking alot on my feelings about wanting someone to be very cold to me, versus being warmer but just as sadistic. I haven't quite figured it all out yet.... but something I think I've realized is that... the longer I go without the opportunity to really have the submissive in me come out, the more extreme and desperate my feelings get. I definitely know that I want to know it is about someone else, and that they stop when they want to... but I guess I need a little more in the area of coaching and warmth from someone versus pure coldness. I know you are capable or either situation or a combination of both. The one thing I do know for sure.... I felt completely scared, vulnerable, and not just out of control - but out of my own control, and I liked it.
Thank YOU and I hope you allow me to see you again for more, when I need to be put in my place.
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Male Dominant, 62, Venice/Studio Cty, California
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Male Submissive, 27, oslo
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Male Switch, 51, louisville, Kentucky
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Male Dominant, 50, Hollywood, California
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Male Submissive, 30, st. louis, Illinois
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Male Dominant, 45, London
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Male Dominant, 44, Rijnmond
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Dominant Couple, 44, Erie, Pennsylvania
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Female Submissive, 35
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Male Dominant, 37, Dublin
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Male Dominant, 36
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Male Switch, 34, DF
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