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Female Submissive, 28
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Male Submissive, 37, Sacramento, California
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Female Submissive, 26
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About ryanErlanger
Just someone shy about getting into the local community, hoping to maybe talk to individuals and build support before getting out there.
As a child I always had an uncanny fascination with handcuffs. About when I was 12, I got my first pair, cheap fair-booth kinds. Had plenty of fun with them :)
My first self-aware introduction to BDSM came with a fascination with chastity belts, and the thought of how the power of orgasm denial could be used to mould one into an obedient willing submissive. I've purchased a few over time that are good as toys, and I'm experimenting with building my own. I've made a prototype out of leather that I'm wondering if I can translate to metal - though I don't know if that would really be practical until I have a decent workspace. Welders, cutters, metal shavings, grinders and such. I've taken a basic metal working class, so it would be fun to translate that into some real-life BDSM gear. [wicked grin]
I suppose I am not really looking for anyone right now. I'm too self-conscious about my appearance to accept that someone could be attracted to me. I'm trying to work on that (exercise, diet, medical advice) so we'll see how that goes. I suppose the healthier option would be to accept myself and look for someone else who can too, but that's also the more difficult option.
I wonder to what extent I'm a 'submissive' or a bottom. I'm not naturally submissive, but I like the feeling of tying myself up, and crave the loss of control that would come from someone else doing it, and long for the gaze of one who would enjoy that. I wistfully desire to be more submissive, but wonder if I have it in me? |
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Male Submissive, 39
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Male Dominant, 28, Seattle, Washington
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