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UPDATE: 3/12/11
Married my Dom in July 2010. Had a great honeymoon in San Francisco. Going to camp soon, where we met! Still miss my DC Dom sometimes though. I do not check collarme very often anymore, I am on instead.
UPDATE: 07/25/09: The wedding plans are in full force. I'm working on it every day. It's exciting!!
UPDATE: 07/17/09: One year from tomorrow, I will be a married woman. I'm marrying my Dom. We'll have known each other a little over 2 years then, so I think it will work out to be a good thing, despite the bumpy road we've had. Let's hope that everything works out....
UPDATE: 07/09/09: Well, my Dom took me to a mall last weekend and guided me to the jewelry store to take a look at engagement rings. We only just looked, mind you. Then I decided to go buy some stuff to make some wedding items because if he's thinking next year, I need to start making stuff NOW for it. He says 2011 is just fine though, but I'm 41 years old. If he's going to marry me, then why make me sit around waiting another year? I'm fed up with this situation. Either shit or get off the pot. His mother is driving me absolutely insane, so I told him I am all done being the nursemaid, she's going back to her house and she can hire a goddamned nurse to live with her full time. I'm all done with this stupid dysfunctional situation. Either put a ring on my finger, or I'll go find someone who will. I've had it.
UPDATE: 06/23/09: My book will be put "on hold" for publishing until further notice. I cannot publish something that would be considered bad timing, inappropriate timing, or have anyone accuse me of being an opportunist in any way; in lieu of the shooting at the Holocaust Museum in DC, (where I used to work), I cannot publish it yet. So, for now, I'm just glad that I had a biopsy recently that came back "benign," so that's great news, and my back pain has gone, which is also excellent...so things are settling down a bit for me. I do miss having friends in the scene, but so far I haven't met anyone in PA that I've struck up a friendship with, either vanilla or otherwise. This summer is flying by though so I want to do some traveling. If I don't answer you right away, I might be gone for a few days here and there. Just be patient, and thanks for communicating.
UPDATE: 06/01/09: My book will soon be published, the sun is shining, I have a lot of good things in my life, and I'm trying to have some fun too, so all in all I'm hanging in there. Spent the other evening at the local dungeon and had a wonderful time getting caned and flogged, spanked and otherwise happily tortured by my Dom. He does try, but we just don't do it often enough. The mental connection is not quite all it should be though, so we're working on that too. We couldn't go to the BDSM camp this year that we attended (and met at) last year, so instead we took an inflatable pool out into our front yard late at night, and had some nooky naked in the (empty) pool so that none of the neighbors could see us...that was creative, and fun!! We may do that more often. We had our own version of "camp" right outside in our own front yard, so improvisation comes in handy sometimes. As for the comment someone sent me last time, (in my previous update), I figure life is hard enough without causing other people upset with rudeness and obnoxious or mean behavior, so I ignore such stupidity whenever possible. Bye for now.
UPDATE: "Get a job fatty, you've obviously got way too much time on your hands." That was my most recent message on this wonderful web site. Funny thing is, the guy who wrote it is named "Lookin4luv4ever." And that, in the nutshell, is poetic justice my friend. You'll never find it.
I am having some serious medical issues lately, that have caused me some upset, so I think I'll just take a break and set all this stuff aside for awhile, because frankly I don't need the bullshit hassle of being treated cruelly by some total idiot stranger on a web site full of posers, attention whores and Dom-wannabe's who don't know shit from their own ass, much less how to be a real Dom. I'm beginning to think there aren't any real ones out there anymore.
UPDATE: Well, how silly of me, I didn't realize my last entry had the wrong date on it. Today is May 21, sorry about that. I have been very stressed out lately. I've had to find a new doctor for all of us, since we just moved to this new house in March, and didn't have one locally. So I've had to take my Dom's 88 year old mother to the doctor, then to the hospital to get x-rays, and I myself need an x-ray for my back pain, so it's been one thing after another. The cats are now back safe and sound thankfully, but they caused quite a ruckus this week taking off and running away for a couple of days. My Dom is the type of guy who is always on the go, and I'm more of a home body type of person who wants to just stay home and relax, and have a day of nothing, or nothing + naps, or just watching some old movies, or whatever. He's more like, "Let's go do 50 things all at once," and he has always had ADD so he's got a ton of energy that I just feel I can't keep up with him sometimes. He's a very outgoing social person, I'm more of an introvert, and shy, and somewhat antisocial. So we are quite different in many ways. But, overall, I don't want to paint a negative picture of him here, because he's a very generous, big-hearted kind of guy who would go out of his way to help ANYBODY who needed it, and he's been trying to provide me with the ability to stay home and not work (for the first time in my whole LIFE), and he lets me go shopping if I want to, as long as I have a limit to spend, and he's good to me, he treats me very well and I feel good to please him too. But, that CONNECTION that I once had with my DC Dom is one that I don't seem to have with this Dom, and I don't know why that is. We are at different experience levels in the scene, but since I moved here in September, I can't even do the simplest of things like I once did, like hold a hog tie for longer than 20 minutes, there's no way I can do that now...and I can't even wear my nipple clamps very long anymore, like I used to....so I am losing my "oomph" as a subbie, and we don't play as hard as I used to, so it's all just got me feeling a bit sad. With everything going on with his mother moving in, things have changed and we don't play much anymore at all. The doctor said that it's almost like I've had a newborn baby, and I'm going thru post-partum depression, feeling as though i have lost my SELF a bit. She said it's normal to feel that way, taking care of an 88 year old woman is difficult and can be overwhelming. So I am trying to hang in there, and be patient for the transition period to settle down soon. It's not exactly what I had in mind when I moved here, but life happens, and it's nobody's fault. If MY mother were in need of a place to live, I'm sure he would let her move in with us too. So, I'm taking one day at a time and trying to cheer up and deal with it. Bye for now.
UPDATE: 05/21/09: We just moved all of my Dom's mother's belongings from the nursing home 4.5 hours away this past weekend and I am exhausted. Then, on top of being tired, with a horrible backache, and a sore knee, her two CATS got outside, so she was inconsolable until 3 a.m., walking around outside calling them both, until I finally decided SCREW IT, I'm not going out there AGAIN to get her for the 3rd time, if she falls and hurts herself, she'll just have to lay there until I get up in the morning, I have HAD IT. Of course, Dom is sound asleep and totally oblivious to all this, but he had to go to work early today so I let him sleep, but I spent the whole day searching around the outside for a rotten damned cat, wishing I had just stayed at the beach last weekend, disappearing into a crowd and never coming back again. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to deal with this situation. I keep telling myself it's just temporary, and we'll get into a routine, she'll go to an adult daycare place nearby once or twice a week, it'll be okay...but I'm burned out from all this stuff and I get little to no release, I'm frazzled all the time and overwhelmed. This is NOT why I moved to PA.
UPDATE: 05/11/09: Well now my Dom has decided that his 88 year old mother should come live with us. Guess who gets to take care of her every day while he's at work? That would be ME. But, I do work part-time twice per week, but it's quite a huge responsibility that scares me a bit. I mean, I've never been a caretaker to anyone like this before, so I don't really know what I'm doing. i think it's right to get her out of that horrible nursing home, she hated it, but this is a house we have only just moved into in mid-March, and now less than one month later, she's been here living with us, and we're moving her belongings here, and trying to adjust to this huge thing. It could really make or break this entire thing between us.
UPDATE: 04/14/09: Things have settled down after he finally apologized for the angry outburst. We are planning a house warming party soon, and I am trying to get the house painted and looking nice before that. I am keeping busy, and we are trying to work things out, but I still don't know many people here and would like to be friends with like-minded people. If nothing else, friendship is something I can do.
UPDATE 04/02/09: Had a fight the other evening, he was Jekyll and Hyde out of nowhere, and I very nearly packed a bag to leave. Didn't talk to him the entire next day and most of the evening. Then we sat down and I told him how upset I felt and that we either have to work on our communication and he has to either learn to be a Dom for me, or I'll have to move on and find someone new. We were planning to go away to a BDSM camp this summer, which is where we met last year, but when we had our fight, he just went ahead without talking to me about it, and cancelled our reservation. So I don't know what to think anymore. We now have made up for the most part, but it's still in the back of my mind that maybe things are not going to work out between us. I don't know. I hope it will, but at the same time, I am realistic enough to think it just might not. I don't know where I'd go or what I'd do...but it's got me feeling anxious and nervous a lot.
UPDATE 03/12/09: I've been living in Pittsburgh for about 7 months so far, and I must say I am not impressed. The Dom I moved here for allowed me to live in my own apartment, though it was still in the same house as his, which was a nice "baby step," but now he's moving us to a real house, but yet there is still no talk of a ring on my finger or marriage, etc., so I consider this "shacking up," which is really NOT what I moved here for.
For those of you Dom's out there who send me messages, please know that I am 40 years old and I do not date/submit to younger men. It just doesn't work for me, so if you're younger than 40, I wish you luck in your search, but I'm not for you.
For those Dom's over 40, but married, sorry I've "been there, done that," and I don't mess around with married Dom's anymore. It just ain't worth it.
For anybody else, please be patient as I am in the process of moving and will not be on the computer for a week or so. Thanks.
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UPDATE 03/05/09: I now live in Pittsburgh PA, I am no longer in the DC area. The Dom I am currently living with says he wants to get married at some point, but I have no ring on my finger. He's mostly vanilla, rather new to the scene, and I've been involved in D/s for 10 years, so we have very different ways of doing things. I am open to sending messages, but I don't know if anything else will come of it for now, though things have been somewhat rocky with this Dom, so keep that in mind before you write to me, okay? Thanks...I still check this every few days.
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UPDATE 01/03/08: I no longer live in Virginia. I have moved to Pittsburgh PA to live with the Dom I met in May 2007. Things are not going as well as I had hoped, so I am still here checking messages.
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UPDATE: 6/10/08: I have recently met a Dom that I am pursuing a relationship with. While I don't mind making new friends, nor do I mind writing messages, I have decided that I am going to focus on this new relationship now, and so you can consider me "on hold" in that department. Will update periodically........we now return you to our regularly scheduled profile. Thanks for reading, and good luck in your search. -------------------------------------------
Hello...the first thing I would like you to know about me is that I am real. I am submissive. I am genuine, I am single, I am a small-town chick from Michigan and I'm looking for a long term romantic relationship with someone who is single and local, (DC/VA/MD) in an exclusive relationship that includes D/s. I've been in the BDSM scene for a decade so far, with several play partners and I've served 2 Dom's so far.
You should also know that I have a college degree, I am a published writer, I THINK for myself, I'm fairly intelligent, and therefore I am NOT a doormat. I also do not play games. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I cut through the crap of things and get to the point. I am also brutally honest.
Some things I do NOT like are the following: racism, prejudice, intolerance, injustice, genocide, war, and *most* Republicans. (I am a Democrat, liberal, pacifist and I vote).
There are 3 major things that bug me about some Dom's out there: 1. Just because you CALL yourself a "Dom," or wear black leather and think you're "all that, a bag of chips and a pickle on the side" with your egomania does NOT mean I'm going to instantly drop to my knees and do anything you tell me to do. If I don't know you, and there is no mutual bonding of respect for each other from day one, then it's simply not gonna happen. Please be realistic.
2. Also, "Victims of instant gratification need not apply." Here's the thing, I am not going to rush into meeting you in person, and if you don't respect my comfort zone from day one, you probably won't respect it later on either...and I'll never respect YOU back...that's how it works, you see, it has to be more of an equal playing field before the mental connection can develop between us. So, because of that, I take my time in getting to know someone, I believe in digging deeper than the surface before I become someone's submissive, and that's the only way to make a long term relationship happen---friendship first.
3. Being a control freak does NOT mean you're a Dom. Being an abusive man who beats up women for fun, does NOT mean you're a Dom. If you don't KNOW what it is to be a Dom, then my friend, you're simply not a Dom. I believe you're either born with it, or you're not. Sure, ya gotta learn the basic "how-to" of BDSM, but the natural gravitation of Dominance and submission is something you can't just decide one day that you ARE, it's either in ya, or it's not.
Waking up one day to say "gee, I think I'll be Dominant from now on" is merely ROLE PLAY, folks, because the reality is, you've probably spent most of your life in your true nature of NOT being Dominant until you've seen a porn that has bondage in it or something, and thought, "Hmm I should try that." But, if you pretend at it, and put on a black vest and mean-man hat to play act at being a Dom, then I'm sorry but you're not the real kind of Dom that I seek.
Having said all that, you may also like to know that I enjoy reading, laughing and raunchy jokes, spoiling people I care about, going to museums, art galleries, plays, concerts, quiet dinners, candles, romance, playing with my dog, watching old movies cuddled up under a blanket with some popcorn, I love everything about the beach and warm climates, I am all about creativity, playing/listening/dancing to music, I'm strong-willed, feisty as hell, I am passionate and fun.
In the D/s realm, I am also skilled and trained in various aspects of D/s, including giving oral, nipple torment, bondage, blindfolds, ball-gags, ---I am multi-orgasmic, but none of this will happen with you--UNTIL you're successfully inside my head, and UNTIL you take the time to dig below the surface of who I am....because the mental aspect of D/s is of utmost importance, if you don't have that and if you don't have a mutual friendship and respect first, then it simply won't work. I also definitely enjoy predicament bondage and Japanese kurada bondage, anal play, forced orgasm or denial, nipple clamps and pinching, spankings, oral service, and creative ideas with toys and other D/s equipment.
What I seek is an experienced, intelligent, creative, available and single Dom that I can completely give myself and my submission to, for a long-term relationship. I prefer older men who are experienced in D/s, but not SUPER old...I'm thinking a good age-range might be 35-50....and if you're younger than 35, I don't think we would be compatible either but I am always open to making new friends in the scene, older or younger.
So IF you're real, IF you're a decent human being that is honest, intelligent, fun and creative, available, and looking for more than just a fuck buddy or a doormat to humiliate and abuse like most wannabe's out there, then I welcome and encourage you to please send me a message and/or photo, and I promise to answer all that I can if I feel we are compatible. Thanks.
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People, please take note: I am an Aries, which means I am stubborn, I have a teacher/therapist type personality, and I'm feisty and challenging to know as a person.
If you have no patience to get to know me, I will not be able to honor those who are "victims of instant gratification." This means I will not rush into meeting you in person, if I don't feel comfortable knowing you online and/or over the phone first. If, however, you are willing to dig below the surface of who I am, and take the time to earn my trust and my submission, then I want very much to know you better.
If you're looking just to get laid, or have some kinky role playing, and if you EVER utter the words, "I'd like you to TEACH me," then please look elsewhere. I am a submissive, I cannot and will not TEACH you to be a Dominant. You are either born with it, or you're not.
I know the difference between wannabe's, and the real thing. So please, do not waste my time, and I promise to reciprocate the same to you.
Also, if you live anywhere outside of VA, MD, or DC, I sincerely doubt that, unless we both strike gold in discovering one another, anything significant will come of it. I am open minded enough to talk to you a bit, but as for relocating, I'm not looking to do that anytime soon. I get lots of emails from people all over the country, and even in other countries, who immediately want me to move there for them, and that's just not a realistic request.
I am intelligent, college-degreed, well-read, outspoken, challenging and fun to know, but if you cannot or will not respect my comfort zone by pressuring me to meet you in person or call you on the phone before I am ready to, then you're NOT the Dom for me.
I hope I've made myself perfectly clear, if you have questions, please ask. Thank you for your time and good luck in your search. |
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