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I am a married poly female who thinks too much and hopes you do too.
I work as a consultant in the technical field, and I spend many of my weekends doing Rocky Horror.
I'm taking the engineering P.E. exam in April, so my schedule will be quite rigid through April 2012. However, I'm looking. If we click, and share some nonkinky interests, I'll make you a priority, at least when I don't have class!
I adore conversation and love language, enjoy research and learning new technical skills. While I enjoy modern conveniences (pleather; indoor plumbing; my Cuisinart) I'm somewhat old-fashioned: I like books, home cooking, long skirts, and believe in saying "please" and "thank you."
My real life: Master's degree, technical career, multilingual; like to cook and garden. Vegetarian (note: this means I do not wear or use leather products). Avid reader; not a big fan of pop culture though I study it so I don't get too out of touch.
Location:
Western suburbs.
I can't schedule road trips (in or outbound) without a couple of weeks' notice, so if you live more than 2 hours away, this won't work. At this point I'm not interested in traveling in to the City more than once a month, though I know it's a fascinating place.
Looking For:
When I'm looking, I'm interested in finding a gentleman 30-45ish who enjoys pain and who's interested in making my life easier. If you're only into one or the other, that's negotiable - but both is what I really want. No complete novices, please; while I'm willing to explore with you, if you want to learn the ropes with someone you don't know, hire a pro.
Please be well-read and able to carry on a conversation; an interest in foreign languages is a definite plus. (Mine: French, German, some Spanish.) Interest in Rocky Horror a big plus.
On Being Married:
You: I don't believe in using another woman's property without her knowledge and consent. If you're married, this means you. (With her knowledge and consent is fine.)
Me: The husband is kinky too but we play separately; our kinky interests do not really overlap. Interaction with one of my partners is limited to politely saying hello and, if called upon, perhaps engaging in polite chitchat. I owned a (non-live-in) boy for a couple of years, seeing him mostly on the weekends, and the husband was fine with that.
Experience:
I've been interested in SM for more than half my life now, though I've only really been active for about 6 years. Enjoy both SM and D/s; this is part of my core makeup. I consider myself a journeywoman: I've got a good collection of toys, have belonged to a couple of organizations, attended a couple of conventions, collared one boy, and assembled a good research library. Most of my experience has been within the context of an ongoing relationship of some sort. I'm not looking for love, but become fond of those I play with. I maintain both CPR and First Aid certifications.
What I do:
I enjoy canes and riding crops; sensation play (hot wax, Wartenbergs, etc.); CBT; and making men lose control. Do you whimper? Growl? Beg? Good. Making men utter inarticulate noises because their nerve endings are confused makes me happy.
I have some experience with knifeplay, faceslapping (love it), paddles. I like seeing a man on his knees. Also interested in light humiliation and position training. I like high heeled boots (which I expect you to polish) and corsets, but don't want to have to put on a costume to get your attention.
Don't really care for (softish limits):
* Bondage. I own rope but prefer cuffs. It's more about the symbolism for me. If I tell you to hold still, do so. Physically constraint may occasionally be offered as a courtesy if I suspect you won't be able to maintain position without help.
* Flogging. I own a couple of whips but I really just don't get it, and I can't/won't use anything made of leather.
* Foot worship.
* Total novices. If I knew you and liked you, might consider it. If you're finding me here, I don't know you...
What I don't do (hard limits):
* No cyberdomination or cams.
* No total slavery / 24/7. - I don't have the time.
* Ageplay. It freaks me out.
* Leather.
* No forced feminization. Being a woman is fabulous, not humiliating. And I'm not comfortable with investing arbitrary sex roles with any more power than they already have.
* Breathplay. I've tried it, have seriously considered the potential consequences, and have determined it is not worth the risk.
* No cuckolding - my husband doesn't want to watch, or even to hear about what I do.
* No SAMs. They piss me off.
You?
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I'm getting ready to go to my first Leather Leadership Conference. I've been wanting to go to one since a friend recommended them a couple of years back.
I've settled into a rhythm of going to one or two events a year. Next year I think I'll go to Dark Odyssey; I've been drooling over their programs for years and this year they're even featuring The Wet Spots, a great, funny, kinky cabaret act.
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I'm feeling energized after having attended a good local SM con.
This doesn't mean I have any more time than I did. But everything in life is a question of priorities. And getting more involved in SM again is now one of mine.
In addition to prioritizing finding a pet who doesn't live hundreds of miles away, I'm starting once again to learn Japanese. I'm not sure what I'll do with it once I've done it (I won't be able to read, which is how I keep up on my other languages) but I suppose that's not the point. |
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I am just starving for intellectual conversation.
I miss my former pet; he was pretty seriously screwed up, but brilliant. I have a darling husband and a loyal but intellectually unadventurous long-distance pet.
I suppose I should get out more. One would think I'd be intellectually stimulated at work (I work at an engineering firm) but it's not recreational.
It's possible there's a chapter of Mensa around here somewhere.
Anyone just want to talk? |
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Imagine my surprise to find out a couple of my friends here have similar interests. I suppose I should have known.
I miss being able to drive in to the meetings in Nebraska, though technically the City's much closer than the cities I attended meetings in there. I love visiting the City, though it gets a little expensive.
The pet is visiting this weekend; we'll go up to Boy's Town and give the poor kid a thrill (he's originally from small town Nebraska). A friend of mine (see above) and I will be playing with him. Among other things, she plans to make a pretty package of him so we can put our feet up on his back and discuss serious matters, such as gardening.
I've purchased my first commercial gag, and am concerned that it arrive before the pet does. It's going to be a near thing.
Does anyone know how to put paragraph breaks in this thing? This is bothering me. |
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Well, I'm back to living within an hour or two of "civilization." I will be trying to take advantage of some of the local kinky opportunities I didn't when I lived out here before.
If the snow lets up, I'll be going in to the City this weekend. |
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I told my pet he could ask for a collar, and he has.
Buckling it around his neck was almost an anticlimax, although he is very proud to wear it. |
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I'm fairly thoroughly occupied with my current pet and am not taking applications at this time.
I am still interested in corresponding with cerebral folks of a like mind; I've enjoyed talking with a couple of folks I've met here. |
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As I mention in my profile, I can't take on a full-time slave at this time. I probably will never be in a position to do so. So please, gentlemen, don't ask.
I have recently started seeing a new pet. He switches (not with me) and so the negotiations begin. |
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I am starting to think of Minnesota as the promised land.
Of course, given its population relative to that of Iowa, it isn't too surprising that there are more kinky people there.
And of course, Iowa's a lot bigger than my native Nebraska. Though there are some fairly active groups in Nebraska, with which I'm starting to get involved.
Minneapolis is only slightly further away from where I live than Des Moines...and certainly more worth the trip. Something to consider once the weather gets warmer. |
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I am starting to wonder how difficult it is to find a thoughtful male submissive in my approximate age range.
Of course, BDSM folks do tend to trend a little older...a lot of people take a while to find the lifestyle. And I do realize that most people, submissive folk included, become more thoughtful as they age.
I have had several wonderful conversations with lovely gentlemen old enough to be my father. While I have no problem at work telling men this age what to do, I'm not ready to tie down and hurt a man of that age. This reluctance on my part is similar to the restraint that chivalry inflicts on some men. It is a wish to avoid being...unkind. And while I'm well aware that there are many fine men of that age who very much appreciate unkindness, I am still blocked.
My former pet used to refer to how "kind" I was when I had done something cruel to him. It is an interesting word.
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In life, certainly when one is trying to present oneself in the best possible light, spelling counts.
Knowing a verb from a noun counts.
This is true to an even greater degree where the written word is all the other person sees. |
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I'm still trying to figure this community out. We are most of us looking for something here, but it can be more than just a virtual meatmarket. I've never hurt anyone recreationally that I didn't know, at least not outside the context of a play party. I'm not sure I'm even interested in hurting someone I don't know. If I know nothing about you, can I appreciate the transcendence of your suffering? (Perhaps.) I am, in general, very up-front, and if you are not what I'm looking for, I will let you know. Still, I'm interested in talking with other local folks, even if our kinked interests don't mesh. There are people I enjoy talking with at munches that I have no desire to play with (and it is probably mutual); I view this community like that. |
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| Age: 30 |
| London,
United Kingdom |
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