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rickmikes

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I am a Dom that likes to train subs. I like to garden and cook. When feeling really down, making either chocolate chip cookies(with walnuts) or cake brownies(with walnuts and fudge icing) calms me down and helps me relax. I tend to use cooking and food as a method of showing someone that I care for them. My weight is in the upper range of average at 199 lbs but I am working on losing 10 - 15 lbs of that ( I have already lost 25 lbs in the past 7 months) I do some online as well as RL training. For those in the awkward distances, I do some hybrid training where we would meet face to face 2 - 3 times month, with almost daily online work. I am also open to mentoring new subs and answering questions.
Due to other constraints, my RL time is limited. I do hope to be able to make the most of what time we have together in ways that would be mutually satisfactory both emotionally and physically. At the moment I am available morning till noonish and the occasional evening or weekend day. I believe that the foundation of any D/s relationship is trust, honesty and respect. That being said, having a sense of humor does not hurt either. I do not count being a Dominant or a submissive as a fetish, to me it is a personality trait like being an introvert or extrovert.
If I had to, I would say that my list of kinks could be narrowed down to maybe 4-5 that would classify as needs that I would really need to mesh with a subs needs or likes and that her needs should mesh with my needs or likes. We both will need the satisfaction that having our needs met produces in order for the relationship to be ongoing.
All of the rest would be icing. I would say that my needs are:
Spanking (in all of its forms), Bondage(including rope bondage), Oral sex(giving and receiving) and making/using toys on my partner. I have always loved bondage and have just begun getting interested in Shibari and decorative rope bondage. I do like feminine women in lacy undergarments and stockings. Ideally paired with a pleated skirt and flowing blouse while having longer hair. I like spanking, spanking photos and art as well as spanking itself. I also like to introduce women to both forced orgasm and orgasm denial. Interestingly, I find I like a lot about Steampunk. I love the earlier H G Wells and Jules Verne style books and movies with the science and the gadgets. That sort of goes along with much of the earlier Dr. Who's Tardis appearance. You can also find me on Fetlife According to my BDSM test from: http://bdsmtest.org/
100% Bondage Giver
94% Dominant
85% Daddy/Mommy
84% Master/Mistress
75% Degradation Giver
63% Non-monogamist
55% Voyeur
54% Sadist
48% Brat Tamer
47% Primal (Predator)
46% Exhibitionist
41% Experimentalist
38% Pervert
37% Primal (Prey)
24% Switch
20% Vanilla
6% Brat
4% Girl/Boy
4% Masochist
4% Submissive
0% All-Rounder
0% Bondage Receiver
0% Degradation Receiver
0% Slave

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1/17/2014 2:13:09 PM

D/s   vs.   M/s

 

 

In a D/s relationship the agreement that both the Dom and the sub create and sign establishes the rights, responsibilities and limits for BOTH parties. And while the Dominant will have 90%+ of the control in the relationship, the submissive will have 90%+ of the power. Each retains their own property, possessions and control of their own finances. The submissive is recognized as a person with intellect, feelings and rights that need to be and should be respected and nurtured. The D/s relationship at a fundamental level revolves around the submissive, not the dominant.

In an M/s relationship, the relationship and the agreement are ALL for the benefit of the Master. There are NO limits allowed for the slave. The master may do what he will when he will with no consideration given to the slave. In the agreement, the slave agrees to give up ALL rights to, call it personhood or humanity. They agree to become the chattel property of the master for him to do with whatever he wants, including selling the slave. This relationship is totally centered on the master, with NO consideration for the slave.

It was also not uncommon for the slave to sign over to the master all property and possessions; have their earnings deposited into an account owned by the master and the master to then take care of all bills and maybe provide the slave with an allowance. In a good relationship, the master will manage the slaves finances separately from their own and if the relationship ends, property and finances will be returned to the slave. However, once transferred to the master there is no guarantee that that will happen and since the property and finances were given voluntarily (considered as gifts) the slave has little legal recourse to get it back. The slave may be used, loaned out, given away or sold at the discretion/whim of the master and she would be expected to be ok and happy about any of it.

 

Both relationships can be part time or 24/7.

Yes, M/s tends more towards TPE  24/7, but some D/s relationships also have that dynamic.  And in either case, a 24/7 TPE relationship takes a LOT of work and effort no matter if it is D/s or M/s. Then to add to the mix you have Domestic Discipline, which some classify as a fetish and some as a lifestyle. It all depends on how much other aspects of BDSM is incorporated into it.


1/3/2014 12:42:13 PM

Initial Dom and sub meeting recommendations:

 

I have talked with a number of female subs about initial meetings that they had when looking for a new or first Dom. Given the world the way it is, some of the answers I got scared me a bit for their safety.

So, these are my suggestions for a sub meeting a potential Dom in real life. I am going to assume (STRONGLY remmoned) that there was some email/online correspondence first and not a "Blind Date" scenario (although these suggestions would apply then as well)

 

In the BDSM life, as well as in life in general, you will have the good, the bad and the ugly sort of people. The good will by far be the majority.

 

When you get to the point where you are going to physically meet someone that you will be considering as a Dom, keep the following in mind:

You are still a human being and as such you deserve respect until you demonstrate that you do

not.

Even when you agree to be someone's sub, your Dom should care for and respect you, as you do

him. Yes, s/he is going to be the higher authority in the relationship but that does not mean you

are a mindless doormat with no feelings.

 

As for as your initial safety goes when meeting a potential Dom, my suggestion for ALL subs is this:

Have a friend that you trust(in the life if possible so they understand what is going on) arrange to receive calls from you and be ready to help you bail if needed or to call the police should that be necessary.

 

Have your first 2 meetings(minimum) with a prospective Dom in neutral, public locations so that you can relax and talk comfortably. You would be surprised at how well you can hold a private conversation walking the mall or "window shopping" in a department store.

 

Give your friend a call when you arrive at the meeting and give them an approximate end . Then call again when you leave. If you find that you will run longer than you told your friend, call them again and give them an update.

 

If/when you decide to meet more privately, before this, check their drivers license (Be sure that you do it, do not just have them tell you the info) and write down their name, address, DL number and their phone number if you do not already have it. The make, model and license plate number of their car is good to have too if you can see it. Call/give this information to your friend (over the phone if need be). Let them know when you will leaving to go there, about how long you will be (and call if it looks like you will be staying longer) and again when you leave. Finally, make sure and take your own car and follow them so you cannot be stranded and forced into anything or otherwise hurt. If you do not like the looks of the area s/he is taking you to, or through, turn off and leave - FAST!

 

Most of all, look on this as a courtship for each of you and remember that either of you can terminate it for any or no reason. If s/he terminates it, you should not take it personally, it may just be that they feel that your needs do not line up properly with theirs. You should terminate it as well if you discover that your needs and theirs do not match well. When in this type of 'negotiation', Look closely at what your NEEDS and WANTS are as opposed to your likes and 'would be nice' issues. Also, bear in mind what your limits are and do not compromise them.

 

One of the things that will help you to see if they are compatible is for each of you (when the other is not present) to make up a list of your fetishes (I like to call them kinks, but that is just me – and Dominance or Submission are not on the list – they are facts). Then carefully go over the list and somehow mark those that are absolute NEEDS. That is those kinks that if not engaged in on a fairly regular or consistent basis would leave you feeling unfulfilled. For most people, this list of needs can be pared down to 6 or less. Increase the number if you really need to, but remember these are NEEDS. Then, mark those that are High Likes that you like to engage in but that if needed you could get by without.  All others are ones that are in consideration or fun on an occasional basis.  Then when you meet, check how well your Needs match up. In my opinion, 2/3 + of the needs should match up, with the rest being on the others High Like list.  If one or the other of you is not feeling satisfied from your time together the relationship is not going to last.  Prevent the pain and anguish of this by putting in the extra time up front.

 

The foundation for ANY D/s relationship needs to be trust, respect and honesty. Some form of emotional attachment will likely grow, but I see that as more of a capstone to the foundation.

Remember, you are putting your safety and maybe even your life in their hands, so you MUST be able to trust them.

Having defined your limits, you must believe that he will RESPECT them and you.

If there is no HONESTY, there can be no real trust or respect.

 

Please, be safe and not sorry. Any Dom worth his or her salt will not only respect you for your caution, but should also applaud it.


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Charlene0008
 
 Age: 29
  Michigan