Richard6a

A fantasy can provide an entertaining esape from reality for a time. And if you can find someone to share the fantasy with you it's even better! Hollywood has been providing "the stuff that dreams are made of" for years! And going to a movie in color, wide screen, 3D with surround sound is a good way to while away a couple of hours. But when You come out of the theater reality jolts its ugly head. I see lots of fantasy material on here, mostly fodder for men and women to jerk off. Yes, I said women, they do it too. The Doms, Dommes, subs, slaves all included! Not that people of similiar interests don't meet, but from all reports, its somewhat rare! And you have the pros making a few dollors, but doubt that their getting rich. and of course the tribute folks get a few gifts but probably not enough to pay the rent. However as long as most are having a good time, what the hell! And I'm certainly not trying to put anyone down here.

I'm living the American dream. Recession, what recession? Hasn't affected me a bit. Life is good and continues to be so. If the car breaks and it costs a $100 or a $1000 to fix it, it gets fixed immediately, period. I do pretty much what I want, travel, cruises, concerts, movies, theme parks, tripsto the mountains and beach, etc, etc. What I want is a Domme to play with; and not just a play partner, but someone to love and share my life with as well. You'd think that would be easy but it's not. Now I have all the Female companionship I want, but it's not exactly that which I want. Of course I could be wrong. Often wanting a thing is much more enjoyable than having a thing. For once though I would sure like to give it the ole college try just to see what happens. Generally though looking for the Younger Woman up to about 40 or so. And You are fit, able to fill a bikini in all the right places. Hey, folks it's my fantasy, right! I do promise You won't get bored. And certainly One with some intelligence because I like good stimulating conversations that will enhahce the senses. And so much more....

You are seeking a man who desires to please You; it is his ultimate goal to seek Your satisfaction, he is compelled naturally by a deep internal conviction, the need, the ache to follow Your directions, however small, arouses him, all else falling by the wayside. Even the rise in Your voice quickens his pulse. These men are gold, the Mother load for a Domme. You can't make one, You can't create one. Like a gay, trying to take it out often leads to disasterous results.

Yet I am essentially self-contradictory, a paradox, in that I am an Alpha submissive.

In business I can be so dam ruthless, if threatened I will attack and destroy, I will do what ever it takes to win at any cost. A valuable ally, but an adversary who is quite redoubtable. And yet with Women, I will be meek, almost docile, even reverent. It's like a switch, a trigger that is built into my wiring. In grad school, I had a teacher that pointed that out to me. She said, "young man, I've been watching you. In debate and in class you can be ruthless, polite, but ruthless, and you usually win. But around these girls, and me, you are as meek as a lamb. There is no one in this school as polite as you. You must be a Leo". I was stunned, I just nodded my head in the affirmative. She said, "I thought so; I've heard of people like you, but I've never seen one until now." She continued, "You are a very gifted person, and that is one of those gifts. You will always protect your mate and your cubs." Then I said, "Mrs Cashion, please!". The conference was over and She simply said, "Son, you will go far, now get outta here". And so I did. That was one of the most revealing moments of my life! The old Biddie was right! And I say that with great affection. She was a cherished friend and mentor.

However, this is not a choice for Me. It is who I am. I live and breathe it. Nor would I change it if I could. I enjoy being who I am. I'm also a very touchy, feelie, affectionate person as well as very oral. Also have soft hands due to being in adminstrative type work. Great for One Who is into massages, body worship, and cuddling and caressing. I alway care very deeply for the Woman in my life!

A word to the wise Domme should more than be sufficient here!

In the USA if women do not get to the altar at an early age, they are likely to get stranded. Nowadays, 70 per cent of all American women marry before they are 24 years old. From then on, it’s a downhill slide. By the time a woman is 30, there is about one chance in two she will ever get married and at 40, only one chance in five. By the time she is 50, the chances she will marry are just one in 16, and after 60, her chances drop to one in 62. These are government stats, the LTA's probably would be about the same. In the major metropolitan areas the odds are even less favorable and more depressing for women.

 Undaunted by the statistics, most American women without men make repeated (if sporadic) attempts in the direction of marrying throughout their lifetimes—often in ways that would have scandalized the proper Victorians.

 Almost to a woman, those I interviewed said the same thing: "I have only one problem. I would like to be married, but I find it impossible to meet eligible men no matter how I try—and nobody can say I don’t try."

 There are many more college educated women than men. For whatever reason, women do not like to marry down, even though there are many men who thru life experiences, military, and work related education that are likely very suitable for an "educated" woman. And in this economy, skilled craftsmen can readily find work. Whereas an education can be a detriment.

 And like old men with money, many affluent women find a young honey to love them. Some work well, some do not. Failure rate is about the same as any other relationship.

 My interest is in the success of the D/s relationships and the survival rate. While there are no statistics, some of the communities say the failure rate is extremely high. Due generally to the Dom/Domme, not being able to manage the relationship. A fantasy has to face stark reality. And this often runs into a total destructive collision. Especially when the sub is "not" getting what they want. Now the "no way outs" probably do alright, unless they get caught, then the Dominant gets a no way out at the government's expense. But that's another discussion!.

 You got me to thinking about contracts and how binding they might be. Actually those contracts are illegal under federal law and hence not enforceable. Nor can one arbitarily give up their constituational rights. If either party takes it to court it will Not stand.

 And both parties run the risk of criminal charges as far as assualt, torture, degradation, inhuman treatment, or slavery. Even the sub could be charged with aiding and abeting. According to the 13th and 15th amendments is punishable by up to life imprisonment or the death penalty as prescribed by the courts. Best not to go there. The general rule is consensual as long as no one is caused harm, injury, physical or emotional trama. SSC, Safe, Sane, and Consual. That is a social context within the BDSM community, but has no bearing under federal law. There is a whole lot more but this is the basics.

 If the contract was sanctioned under A BDSM community charter then disputes might be arbitrated or resolved by a panel. Though enforcement is limited to expelling/blackballing a member for not abiding by their agreement with the community. And communities tend to cooperate so they would be blacklisted from most other communities. Most members don't want to go there so they tend to abide by the rules. Freelancing is another matter. The agreement is strictly based on the honor and integrity of the participants. Any time the sub says stop or let me out, I need to leave etc, and is not allowed to do so is a serious violation of US law and could be prosecuted severely if convicted.

 Most communities will require a termination clause by either party for no reason in order to sanction said contract. With all that I still think having a contract is likely a good idea. But it has to conform to some independent rules and arrangements for oversight by some recognized authority. Obviously you can't take it down to your local court house and have it notorized and sealed. But you do have some agreement on paper of the behavior of each party. The most important entity is trust. If you don't have trust, you don't have anything. Again the general rule is consensual as long as no one is caused harm, injury, physical or emotional trama. (SSC, Safe, Sane and Consensual.) If any of these occur and a complaint is reported to the authorites then consensuality is no longer applicable. Keep in mind that civil rights violations are enforced by the federal govermrnt!