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Midlife married male, closeted, in the computer field, occasional writer of erotica, passive-submissive. Sensation and Service-oriented principally (although erotic aspects cannot be separated in my mind) unsuited for humiliation for its own sake. Lifestyle gives me serious restrictions on when I can come out to meet, at least in my own city. Occasional visits to Central Texas.

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1/17/2017 7:27:10 PM
I've started writing again, which is nice.
I continue to stay out of the loop at home, but have supportive contacts in central Texas.  And my longer-distance mentor.

So I'm not particularly active, but I'm not exactly stagnating.

9/17/2015 4:05:12 AM
Once a year in my journal, yes, that sounds about right.
I really appreciate the occasional side trips to Central Texas, even when all I sometimes manage to do is attend a class or sit at a party and watch.  It's still contact, and an opportunity to learn.

11/21/2014 9:19:50 PM
I should update this more frequently - but I'm not anywhere near active enough to justify it.  And I'm heading into the holiday season where I spend most of my available time around the house with family.

But hope continues to thrive.

8/15/2013 9:13:30 AM

Gosh it's been a long time since I updated this spot.  I had a great couple of years where I was able to be somewhat active, and even visited my online mentor up North.  Then things came down at work and I've now had over a year of relative inactivity.  Haven't been able to get my writing side of the brain working either, although I'm making slow progress on my non-erotica short story.


So I'm still living in Houston and occasionally visiting Austin and San Antonio for mental health trips (hitting the art galleries, live music and theatre).  Hoping to get active again soon.

11/8/2011 10:49:44 AM

The doctor says it's not a sinus infection and to quit being a baby about drugs and take the Mucinex with cough suppressant.  Project at work is settling into a groove, so I'm getting ready to firm up my recheduled vacation.  Leaning strongly to San Antonio.

11/3/2011 5:58:52 AM

San Antonio trip bit the dust; I knew my daughter was having her wisdom teeth out but didn't click that she'd be unable to take care of our granddaughter.  I'll reschedule for December.  Allergy may have developed into a sinus infection, will see the doctor tomorrow.  Rewrote a story from 2006, and finished one of the longer ones in my draft pile.  Got a billable project at work so things are generally good.

10/21/2011 6:06:32 AM

Cold front came through; I'm now fighting the sneezes and trying to minimize my Zyrtec intake.  Ravel at the Symphony this Saturday, bridge game Sunday.  Starting a new short project at work today, hoping to finish by Thursday as I leave for San Antonio Thursday night.  Little bits added to my stories, no major progress this week.  And so it goes.

10/9/2011 11:55:06 PM

Austin was nice.  Went to Temple of Flesh, which was a bust for me but I knew it was a stretch.  I don't know enough people to make that kind of scene productive.  SAADE had a class on negotiations - very helpful.  Visited the Cathedral of Junk, went to a lot of comedy clubs, and watched the bats fly out for the evening.  Best of all, I got a whole lot of progress on my non-erotic story.  When I get back home I'll start knitting all the new material into the existing and should get close to an official first draft.


Still haven't decided whether I'll be in Austin or San Antonio for Halloween weekend.

9/25/2011 6:21:49 AM

well the big client project is essentially finished, everyone's happy, and I'm taking a comp day on Wednesday because my granddaughter's day care lets out early.  I'll get a vacation weekend in Austin next weekend and one in San Antonio the end of the month.  And I had some ideas so got a decent amount of writing in my story fragments this weekend.  All in all, a good place to be.

9/7/2011 10:32:48 AM

I figured out why I've been tired - I was supposed to take a long weekend in early to mid-August and now I'm not going to be able to until the second weekend in October at the earliest.  Grrr.

9/4/2011 10:38:33 AM

Stories New and Old

My latest story, "Looking for Lewd", has appeared at Simon's Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive ( - look under Recent Additions (September 3).  I encourage everyone to give Simon's site a look-see.  (Not going to say the obvious line, not going to say the obvious line, not going to...)

Also, Bare Back Magazine has reprinted my entry from their Erotic Fairy Tales contest. Carlos and the Wood Fairy is up at

8/27/2011 7:41:24 AM

I just finished a new story, I've sent it to the Mind-Control story archive to see if it passes muster there; if so then he gets first publication.  No money, of course.  I'm making slow progress on a non-erotic story.  That's harder - I can't use sex scenes as a crutch to get around character and plot.


Client project is now in the final hectic overloaded stage.  I hope to get a long weekend out of town sometime in September.


5/1/2011 7:00:46 PM

I had a lovely weekend in San Antonio, a mental health break away from work and an opportunity to meet with a couple of groups there.  A refreshing change from my usual routine and a bit of education toward my self-understanding in this side of my brain.

3/7/2011 2:30:32 PM

In Your Hands (a poem)


by Rajah Dodger {} (c) 2011


Remind me.

What am I doing here?

Fingers clench and release;

Lungs expand and contract;

And the hand comes down.


Or the wood. Or the leather.

I never know, can only anticipate.

A flurry, too fast to breathe

A measured cadence, unrelenting

The one no less poignant than the other.


Strike! Release. Strain! Breathe.

Body taut, mind fragmented

The least feathery touch a shock.

How am I? What was our signal;

Words fail - self fails.


There is no self, no words

Only action and reaction

Time and space collapse

My body Your instrument

Until the music is ended.


Floating, fragmented

Sights and sounds incoherent

Until You remind me.




2/14/2011 9:49:16 PM

A Drink for Valentine's

by Rajah Dodger {} (c) 2011

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License (by-nc-sa).  In jurisdictions where the Creative Commons license is not recognized, United States copyright and Berne Convention provisions apply; all rights reserved to Rajah Dodger except that electronic not-for-profit reproduction rights are explicitly granted with the stipulation that this authorship and permission note must remain attached.

     "Fuck Women?  I'll drink to that.  Bartender, I'll have whatever he's having, put it on my tab."

     "Sales?  Well, I'm in what you could call relationship management.  At least that's what it says on my business card.  Really, I'm just a glorified matchmaker.  Not one of your match dot internet bubble upstarts, either.  Take my word, there's nothing as effective as the old personal touch."

     "No, no, I'm not making myself clear.  I mean one touch and it's lust city.  Actually, I don't even have to do the touching.  Look, see that waitress across the room?  Watch what happens when I point my finger."

     "Well, how was I supposed to know the guy at her table was in a bar with his own wife?  Bartender, another one for us."

     "Oh hell, I guess the cat's out of the bag.  Yeah, god of love and all that.  But please, no photos, I'm supposed to be on sabbatical."

     "Bow and arrow?  Get real.  I don't know who in Marketing came up with that silly idea, it sounds like something they cribbed from the Hindus, know what I mean?  Attribute and aspect, something like that.  Whatever.  No, it's straight up mana, magic you'd call it.  Though I do have to aim carefully."

     "Refill?  Mighty kind of you.  Where was I?  Oh yes... Things got pretty depressing when the Roman empire broke up.  Gods without followers - it's not pretty.  I blame it on the damn Greeks, but that's water under the bridge now.  Mars, he's always busy.  You people are good about starting wars.  Me, I'm kind of the other end of the spectrum.  My work starts new people, his kills them off.  But too long doing the same old thing, I had to branch out.  You want another one of those?  No?  Oh well, bartender, one for me."

     "The 007 films were the most fun I'd had in eons.  Yes, that was me - what, you didn't pick up on the whole "Q" - "Cue" thing?  I tell you, it's amazing what those Hollywood makeup people can do.  Sean Connery - now there was a man who didn't need anyone's help with women.  But then they changed management at the studios, and all of a sudden nobody's returning my calls.  Where's the love, I ask you?  I still had the bug for the entertainment field.  Remember that year when it seemed like every other starlet or singer was marrying some no-name guy who looked like a trailer park reject?  Uh-huh, that was me.  But after a while, the novelty wore off of that as well."

     "What do you mean how many fingers are you holding up?  No, don't worry yourself about it.  I'm not driving.  Well, not a car at any rate."

     "Okay, come closer, I want to tell you a secret.  Can you keep a secret.  Okay, here it is.  I can't have you going around telling everybody about me.  You understand, don't you.  Oh, did you feel that?  Look there, see the bartender - yes, I agree, he's really hot.  Tell you what, here's a twenty, go give him a big tip, I think he's been giving you the eye.  At least now he is."

     "Fuck Women!  I'll drink to that."


2/6/2011 6:33:56 PM

Went to Austin and attended the Voyagers gathering.  A very interesting presentation on humiliation in DS and SM contexts, after which I saw some demonstrations that had me holding my breath.  Good learning, and made a few friends.

1/31/2011 8:05:36 AM

If you play duplicate bridge, this will make sense to you.

I finally got the rest of my gold points, so I've finally made Life Master!  Yay!

1/29/2011 9:45:24 PM

Update: Planning to look around the Marble Falls area then attend the Voyagers event Saturday night.  Also touch base with relatives, catch some live music, maybe play a little poker.

1/25/2011 6:06:03 PM

Going to the Austin area the first weekend in February.  Depending on the weather, I may go out to Pedernales.

1/13/2011 9:09:10 AM

2011 is starting well.  Business is good, family is healthy.  I anticipate getting back to my writing queue next week.  I might be visiting San Antonio/San Marcos/Austin next month and trying to extend my contacts in that general area.


12/25/2010 10:15:11 PM

The new parents are spending more time at our house than theirs, mostly due to work schedules and nervousness.  That's okay - we're happy to help.  Meanwhile my brain kicked back into writing gear and I finished "Attitude Adjustment", my first completely male/male story - and they have it up at Nifty.Org already.  Too cool.  My writing lobe has shut back down, but this encourages me about being able to finish some of the fragments in my idea queue.


I was going to work only half of the last week of the year, but there are clients wanting work done and my manager approved shifting two days of vacation into 2011 so I'll be in the office four days instead.  That's good - I didn't have plans for the two vacation days other than the honeydew list, and I do have a use for the extra days in January or February, one of which will be to get out of town for an extended weekend.


Happy New Year (ahead of time) to all of you!



12/23/2010 7:54:33 AM
I'm now a grandfather.  Everything else is on the back burner for the next few days.

12/1/2010 2:22:32 PM
Work is coming in, billable work which is a good thing.  I've got the first third of my new story completed; it's the talky introduction section.  The middle parts are giving me issues - the story-in-a-story and the descriptions of male on male videos.  I may focus more on the end of the story and then come back to nail down the middle.  Life in general has settled down somewhat, so I'm hopeful to have this finished before the end of the month.

11/18/2010 9:09:14 PM

Okay.  Portland is officially out.  If they want the work done, we'll do it from Houston.

11/16/2010 2:15:32 PM

The "Trapped" story was completed by due date.  Then they extended the due date but I'm letting it ride without any more editing.  It's not going to win at that site, but that was never really the point.


I might be going to Portland the end of November / first of December.  My company has a client there looking to spend some budget dollars before they expire.  One will see.


11/12/2010 5:04:12 PM

San Antonio was refreshing.  A good thing because things back home were going crazy.  Life is tamped down at the moment, I finished the rewrite of my Halloween story and I have two days to get the "Trapped" challenge story written if I'm going to contribute to that challenge.

Met a very interesting Dominant Woman in San Antonio.  Having some issues from my end on following up that conversation since I'm not going out of town again until January.  I'll work it out.

11/5/2010 8:26:18 AM

I expect to be at the San Antonio SASM munch on Saturday night.  I'm enjoying my long weekend vacation!

10/30/2010 12:08:32 AM

Yay!  I actually completed a story.  Didn't think that would happen this year.


Chuck and the Bad Prank is being sent to any number of locations.  Probably appearing on a website near you soon!




2/26/2010 12:42:07 AM
Life continues to be a series of dramatic vignettes, poorly written.  However, I'm gainfully employed and have my health so I've no basis for complaint there.  It would be nice to be able to explore but it just doesn't look feasible unless I run across someone local with mid-day time.  Not likely.

Meanwhile I'm spending some time at a rp site experimenting with some female characters - rp as a male character just gets into uncomfortable areas for me.  I've done some bits and pieces of writing but haven't had the extended focus to complete any stories yet.  Still, I had the one that came out at the end of last year so I know eventually I'll land in that mindspace again.

7/15/2009 2:28:57 PM
I saw the new Harry Potter movie - it's excellent, not a false note that I could detect.

Job tasks are far too heavy again; whenever I clear the queue I'm getting out of town.  Working with a friend on line to try and figure out just what I want (both fet/bd and other).

Life's too long and they don't give you a pause button...

5/17/2009 8:23:26 PM
If things continue to go well, we will wrap the current project from hell by the end of May, and I'll take another mini-vacation.  I took one in San Antonio and a second in Austin, both within comfortable driving range.  I'll probably go to San Antonio this next time.

Life's been too crowded for me to do much with the tasks on my personal queue (writing, self-training, self evaluation)  so I'm just browsing where I can to keep part of my mind involved.

11/23/2008 5:21:59 PM
I was in San Antonio for a long weekend but am returning to Houston where i'm basically limited to trying to get out around midday; holiday work schedules will further restrict me till after the 2nd

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