I am a white male 59 years old. I am about 5 feet 11 inches tall and about 280 pounds. I have brown hair that is beginning to fade and I have brown eyes. I am semi retired which means I have more time on my hands than I have sense.
I have been married for several years, third marriage, and have no intention of divorcing my current wife. There are a lot of practical reasons for that and if you believe that men should not fish outside the barrel to satisfy their freaky thrills, then you believe in ending marriage. As people age and gain experience in life, they often change and many times members of a couple move in different directions. We only have one life, that we can be sure of, so if you miss something, it is gone.
There are a lot of men and women who for one reason or the other do not feel appreciated or get the attention that they want and they shop around. People change as they age and in later years out hormone levels do not change at the same time or in the same amounts for a couple, one partner is ready for the grandma role and the other still wants to kick up, is that a cause for two unhappy people or is that a time for offsite confidential playtime. I knew a woman who at 50, felt a whole new surge of lust and spent ten years as a slut, she was careful and when the wanderlust left her, she settled back into her marriage, mostly.
We all have our own set of needs and desires; I think these are mostly fixed by the time we are 3 or so and only our expressions change over the course of our lifetimes. Over the last few years I have developed a new appreciation for the need and enjoyment of developing relationships beyond a superficial level. It is meaningful to understand why a person prefers a particular thing over another or maybe why they have a certain fear.
People have an innate need to feel appreciated and to have meaning to other people. When somebody means something to you, you should feel not only a need but a desire to check on them and make sure things are well with them. I like for people around me to be as healthy and as happy as possible and it bothers me to be the source of their unease.
My journal reflects my interests and level of experience and it is work in progress.
5/22/2014 3:38:17 PM
I have had a couple of false starts in writing this, may I can get off to a better start this time.
