ranscan

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	About ranscan submissive/service sub/bratt/masochist: yes i am all these things and more. i am fulfilled by the application of Your will, talent, and imagination in nonsexual play, public play is more than welcome. At present i reside in the land of discouvery, though interest is always apreciated, my will and time are completely involved. Dommes, Tops, or Switches whom wish to play as Dommes or Tops, are welcome as long as You have the ability to respect boundries and play with zeal. i do await the arrival of the One, She whom will accept, collar, and allow me to be Her greatest treasure. At present considerations are under way, humbly i ask for patience, as the wills combine and intent assayed.

Pain is very real, passing beyond the borders of being numb i realize, i am very angry and even if this seems consensual, it isn't.
Lie to Yourself, it happens often, stop lying to me, its not only embarrassing, it demeans us both.

It is the season of Beltaine again. i celebrate the day of joy when the earth goddess and god of the sun join to make fertile the planted wishes and desires. Beltaine is for me also the day of my birth. i began this journal a year ago with assured expectation that wishes and desires do come to fruition, i still hold this ideal to be true.
The universe listens, i hope that for A/all the wishes of the inner being come true, and that with this day comes a reason to celebrate. So mote it be.

It is disturbing that some can not read, it is pathetic that some believe that the words do not apply to them. It is criminal that some lie and steal time trying to further their agendas.
It is amazing that their completely offensive and ignorant behaviors are rewarded.
Time, there is so little and now there will be so much less, surprizing the amount of tears shed has nothing to do with the amount of time invested, nor will pain be measured by the beating of the heart.
No One hears you when you scream, no One counts the tears.

Saying farewell to seven of my friends, many of you i made, we have been together in play for several years, but now you go to be with others. It seems overly dramatic to become emotional about toys, and i will be caring for them. However this brings home the reality, this starts the drawing of lines, the questions, the doubts.
This week the past reclaimed my existance, i tried but do believe i failed to please, there may not have been a way to do so, but still i wish i could have better eased One whom taught me so much, whom will always be, right or wrong, part owner of a piece of my scarred heart.

Each day leads to a variance in understanding what it is this life would be, extending control beyond the point of fog seems more dangerous than prudent at this time.

There is a line between what is yours and what is shared and what will never be. Of course if something is not yours alone is it in any way yours? Among the malstrom there must be something to hold on to, the search for a handhold and thusly an identity continues.

Through desires fog, change takes hold, what was the light touch of possibility becomes the true loss of an unknown pleasure. Perhaps the tears clarify the nature of the heart. Time seems to answer the questions unspoken, the foundations whisper gains strength.

As Yule aproaches i ponder the travelled distance from last year and i find that what now i see as lacking was not truly a consideration last Yule and what i now have is more than i thought possible. The form a dream takes in reality is not always recognizable by name.

The journey becomes more, calling down the halls of lifetimes pleasures, resonating in the quiet places of the soul, the voice and touch of She is ever present. Desire remains, which says this could be a lasting artistry.

Some have expectations that have no connection to reality, these are not dreams or fantasies for expectations are never pleasent. Sometimes joy surrenders to the power of acceptance, but not this time. A journey undertaken, continues til the view no longer enthralls, i like what i see and wonder what is around the next corner.

Two scenes one night, so different, one filled with the connection only possible with One guiding the soul through levels of consciousness and pleasure, such ardent electricity.
The other, i felt like a flower that happens to bloom beneath a hive of bees, every where a Top or Dominant, every inch of skin alive and buzzing, truely a never ending wonder.

The universe is wise, and sometimes displays an unending and twisted sense of humour. i truly adore the attention to details whispered and sometimes unspoken. i wish this came with popcorn.

Over six years since i first saw and desired to experience the violet wand, finally, such a lovely device, especially with all the possible attachments. To top off the evening, a scene with Three Dommes, lifted to wonderfull heights. It is said that a life is about the truly entrancing moments, this has been one of those special moments.

submission and desire, is there a place in one for the other. Desire speaks with hints of aggression, objectification, and seems foreign to the language of submission. one wonders and ponders.

long time, a very long time since this flesh has felt the joy of being pierced, such lovliness, 27 sweet entrancing wonders, and a 7 of 9, as life flowed down the skin, such a carress of ardent fluid. Joy exceeds expectation at times.

service, such sweet time spent in the calm of a glorious weekend, apreciated, fulfilled by Her gift, what makes a true submissive, a worthy Recipient of his offerings.

Today i feel grounded again, i am surprised how long this experience left me floating in and out of body consciousness, i feel opened again, cautiously i reach out with new awareness of the supple strength rekindled by the wounds applied with care and talent.

roses, their petals crushing against my skin, releasing the perfume and tears of life lived, the caress opened a door back to what was. The thorns tearing flesh, intriging, so lovely, i did not even feel the blood flow until She told me we had to stop.

wax play, wonderfull, truly an intriging experience, holding the full attention, all flesh on edge, the heat enters the mind, fusing the connection. when removed the pulling almost tickles, of course the knife makes one remain motionless, when it is used.
There is not the full drop of flogging or paddle, nor is the mind engaged in other activity, it seems that the whole being is rivited to each and every spot that drops, as it drops.

this day, though i remain uncollared, i still have faith in the dream, play is wonderfull, friends are glorious, but the dream is still for The Right One.
She is the One for Whom i have been trained, refined, She exists and i await Her call.

birthdays, hmmm, they mean so much more for those of the alternative community, and i find that the community is so much more than play, i find myself feeling accepted, the joy of belonging.

best beltaine day to all, wiccan and otherwise, my joy is complete, for upon May 1 as the Sun God and the Goddess of the Earth embrace, i celebrate, for i share this day of joy, as my day of birth.

randy Male Dominant, 45, Lakewood, New Jersey	randikibachi Female Submissive, 20, mumbai	Randymeister Male Dominant, 55, Cincinnati, Ohio	randiguy2000 Male Switch, 38
raneman Male Submissive, 20, bellefonte, Pennsylvania	Randyisready Male Dominant, 42, hampton roads, Virginia	RangeRider Male Dominant, 40	RandyF75 Male Dominant, 56, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
randys1sub Female Submissive, 52, lakewood, Colorado	ranger9702 Male Submissive, 55, Manahawkin, New Jersey	Randync Male Dominant, 45	randygerman Male Submissive, 50, weatherford, Oklahoma

ranscan

About ranscan