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First of all, let me state a few facts about myself before we get into all the rest:
I am currently involved in a very happy relationship! Yay me!
1. I'm not currently looking for anything beyond friends.
2. I'm absolutely not interested in poly relationships. I understand it's fantastic for some people, but it brings out a nasty, jealous, insecure side of me that drops my self-esteem lower than a snake's belly in a wheel rut. I'm not judging at all, it just doesn't work for me...not even a little bit.
3. I may be slightly insane. In a fun way. Really.
4. If you are incapable of reading or comprehending the english language, honestly, there's no need to contact me.
Still reading? Nifty...now for more about me.
Yes, I'm a submissive. It's part of who I am, but it's not all that I am. I'm not a doormat. I'm not a SAM (though I can be a smartass, but in a fun way). I'm not active in the lifestyle at the moment.
I'm a pagan, a bellydancer and a scadian. I have several tattooes and piercings. I own a coffeehouse. I am owned by three cats, one kitten and one very insane ferret. If you hate cats, really...click to go to the next profile. I've never been married and I don't have children. I'm quirky and sarcastic, steadfast and silly. I take personal relationships very seriously, but laughter is essential.
Within the lifestyle, my interests vary. I'm not a severe painslut. I find the Gorean lifestyle fascinating for reasons I don't quite grasp. Bondage makes me go "yay". The mental D/s aspects trip my trigger. Bleeding does not. I guess there's more about my interests other places on this profile, so we'll leave it there for now.
If you feel like contacting me, please do. I'm always happy to make new friends. Well wishes to you all! :)
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Update...I'm in a relationship. It's been official for about a month now, and I'm extraordinarily happy. I'm still dealing with all the damage and emotional backlash from the last person I was involved with (and may he get everything that's coming to him!), but I actually have hope that maybe, someday, I'll be able to trust someone again. I'm already further along than I imagined I could be. I'm relearning how to care again, and how to be cared for. I still stumble and falter and freak out, but he's so patient and understanding and caring that I actually have hope for the first time in a long time. It's just...amazing. He's just amazing! I'm a lucky, lucky girl! |
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I think I'm finally starting to get over my fear of men. Not enough yet, perhaps, to venture into the shark infested waters of dating, but at least enough to realize that perhaps not all men are out to destroy me. Hey, baby steps, right? :)
I'm thinking about getting back into the lifestyle a little bit. Maybe some munches and forums...not quite ready for parties yet, but at least dip my toes in the water and see how it feels.
After all, I can't hide in my safe little cave forever. Well..technically I could, but I guess I really don't want to, after all. |
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Wow...it's been a long time since I've been on here. What's new to update, lessee. I'm still on hiatus from the lifestyle. It's been a good thing for me. I can look objectively at alot of things from the recent past and see them much more clearly. Some are enlightening, some are amusing and some...well are just plain sad and pathetic. Hindsight can be a bitch, but it can also be a great teacher...that's for sure.
What else...hmmm...
I've added more tattooes to myself...most of my back is covered in leopard spots now. I dig them so much, there are no words. Well, except perhaps "Meow".
I've also managed to lose 70 lbs, which I'm extremely proud of. I haven't been in a single digit size for well.....years, and it's a great feeling to be doing it for myself and noone but myself. Go me, in other words. I guess that's about it...still kicking, still looking for nothin' but friends, and still wishin' well. :) |
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I'm still not looking for anything but friends. A friend in the lifestyle said this to me last time I talked to him and explained just how fucked over I'd been. He said; "You know you're going to destroy the next person you get involved with, don't you?" And he's right. I would. Words can't even express how jaded I am right now. I can't trust people, and pretty much every male I've met is a pathological liar. There are exceptions, but there you have it. So, just best to remove myself from the "dating pool" for the time being. That last thing I would want to do is pass on the damage that was done to me, to someone else. Makes sense, no?
Well Wishes. |
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Here's the deal. I'm only looking for friends right now. I have sworn off men and have accepted my destiny as a future crazy old cat lady. No sense in fighting the inevitable.
Yes, I'm happy to talk to you. But don't get your hopes up. I've been burned quite badly. Also? If you're married....I'll talk to you. Anything other than talking is never, ever going to happen. Into polyamory? Don't even waste your time or mine, mkay? Thanks and well wishes! |
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That's interesting. Apparently I'm a bitch because my heart is broken. That's a new one on me. Wow. |
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Well, I'm officially uncollared. Life's a bitch sometimes, ain't it. |
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I've removed the bit about being owned because quite frankly I don't know just now what my situation actually is. I am not looking for anything but friends, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I've had quite enough of men for now and I'm not interested in any sort of relationship. Please keep that in mind if you choose to message me. Thanks. |
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| Age: 31 |
| Van Nuys,
California |
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