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Female Switch, 46, Tampa Area, Florida
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Female Dominant, 49, Plymouth, Massachusetts
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Female Submissive, 27, Austin, Texas
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About Queenporkslayer
Situation has changed! pig got caught in his lies and pig lost Me forever!
What I had for you was killed not only because you made the terrible mistake of seeing and spending time with that animal or even for the escorts you met with or the "Dominas" you played with online and offline. That betrayal was deep enough but your constant need to lie and cover your tracks when I gave you every opportunity to come clean. I warned you that I would find out because she would make it her mission to destroy you and us. Not to mention you were sloppy enough to leave the evidence behind. If you cannot even admit it when it is out in the open and in black and white I cannot believe that you are anything other than malicious in your intentions towards me.
I gave you all of me as a woman, Domina, friend and lover. I accepted you for who you were and all that you came with. I drew the line at being made of fool and lied to about big and small stuff alike. Especially knowing you shared details of us with her. Talk about mind fucking someone and pretending to share a genuine love and understanding for one another. You allowed her to destroy you and to destroy me. You allowed your past to haunt you and haunt me. You watched as it destroyed the trust and love I had for you, myself and us.
I do not want to live my life angry, scared or not able to trust my partner. You wondered why I was so emotional and angry in the last few months. Well now you know why! I indulged your every whim and desire, I played your conservative vanilla friend and lover and I played your creative and wicked Domina. I gave you the balance of both in one partner. I was honest and faithful to you always. I took your side every time even arguing with my own family and friends to protect you and us and what I thought we shared.
It pains me to know that you used and abused my love and affection for you. What a fool I was to take care of you even after knowing what I had known. I still found compassion and understanding when it came to you. I came to your side to nurture and support you at a difficult time in you life. I wanted to take your pain away and show you what love could be if you only let it. I wanted you so bad to confess and apologize and to seek a way to help us both heal from it all.
But you have a need to be right and to protect your name and it doesn't matter at what expense. That expense mainly being my mental and emotional health. I trusted you and felt safe with you until your behavior proved me to be a fool. I longed for a lifetime with you and my only regret at the time was meeting you so late in life because no amount of time would have ever been enough for me to share with you.
I pictured growing old with you having a family with you and sitting on our deck one day watching our children's children run around the yard. I would dream of countless holidays surrounded by our family and friends in our home.
At first I was devastated to have lost you but it has been made clear now that I lost nothing true or pure. I thought our love was true and pure and mutual and what I find now is that I was the only one in love and I was being toyed with in order to meet some need of yours to control and punish.
I am sorry that I ever let you play with my mind or heart the way you did. I am sorry that I was naive to believe that you were honestly in love with me as I was so in love with you. You stripped me of that now and I will never allow you back into my life. No matter what you say and who you say it to you will have to live with the truth and when your ego is put to the side one lonely night the truth will find you and the truth will begin to haunt you.
For all that you claim of being destroyed by previous administrations you became to me to monster they were to you. Does it make you feel good to know that you destroyed someone as you were destroyed by someone? Did it feel good to be so much in control while pretending to be of service? Well whatever your answers are I no longer care. I have to mourn only the fact that I loved and was not loved in return.
You and what I thought I shared with you has died and with its death a new life has emerged without you! As much as you are eager to place blame on me and tell lies to people you my dear know the truth and the truth will get the best of you one day.
David Ford- Go To Hell
I never treated you so mean
Like that's a reason to be proud
My love I know its been so long
But I thought that I'd just call around
And with that smile that says
Yeah well I knew you'd wait for me
I can hear you say
The day I fall down at your feet
Go to hell
Go to hell
Well I'll thank you for your understanding
I won't be long
And for the things around the house you left unthrown
And hey I know it's been so long but I thought I'd call
I just come crawling back in time to hear to you say
Go to hell
Just go to hell
Go to hell
My sweet indecision
Do you think I'd wait around for you?
Just go to hell
Cause I don't deserve you
You don't deserve this
And tell me
Go to hell
Go to hell
Go to hell
Go to hell |
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"Bloodbuzz Ohio" The National : )
Stand up straight at the foot of your love
I'll lift my shirt up
Stand up straight at the foot of your love
I'll lift my shirt up
I was carried to Ohio in a swarm of bees
I never married but Ohio don't remember me
Lay my head on the hood of your car
I take it too far
Lay my head on the hood of your car
I take it too far
I still owe money to the money to the money I owe
I never thought about love when I thought about home
I still owe money to the money to the money I owe
The floors are falling out from everybody I know
I'm on a bloodbuzz
Yes I am
I'm on a blood...buzz
I'm on a bloodbuzz
God I am
I'm on a blood...buzz
I was carried to Ohio in a swarm of bees
I never married but Ohio don't remember me
I still owe money to the money to the money I owe
I never thought about love when I thought about home
I still owe money to the money to the money I owe
The floors are falling out from everybody I know
I'm on a bloodbuzz
Yes I am
I'm on a blood...buzz
I'm on a bloodbuzz
God I am
I'm on a blood...buzz |
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Laundry and packing day. Getting ready to spend weekend saying goodbye to family and friends in the area. |
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Home finally!!! Well it is official I will be leaving NYC/NJ/PA area next week. This is My last weekend here. Decided to make a change and relocate. I will miss my family and friends in the area a great deal. I am lucky to have family in my soon to be new location so I won't be alone adjusting to a new city. Super excited to see what this change has to bring. |
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Fingers crossed that all goes well tonight! Super excited to see an old friend. Also looking forward to next week. I have plans with old friends all next week. I am glad to have the opportunity to reunite with them and spend some time before I leave NJ/NY area for good. |
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