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Hey, you there! Pay attention!
Suitable persons are required to join my small collection of full-time slaves in a household devoted exclusively to a modern form of Roman-style slavery.
(Since everyone is going to ask, this collection consists of one full-time and one part-time slave. There is not the slightest chance that I'll share photos of them or give long accounts of their recent misdeeds, since I've guaranteed to protect their privacy, just as I will protect yours.)
At some times, you will be required to work. At others, you will be required to stand, perhaps for hours at a time, waiting for the next instruction.
There will be a clearly-defined standard of behaviour for any situation, with a standing list of punishments to help persuade you to live up to your responsibilities. I do not punish for fun - neither mine, nor yours - but to correct behaviour as efficiently as possible.
You will be provided with your minimum material needs - spartan accommodation, appropriate clothing, food, water and any necessary healthcare.
This opportunity - and it is a marvellous opportunity - will only suit those who are strongly service-orientated. I see plenty of profiles for people who seem to want such a life, but many, many more for whom it would be wholly unsuitable. I won't sissify anyone, nor will I expect anyone to explore their deepest slave desires - none of these activities have any relevances in my househould.
MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS - NO EXCEPTIONS
- You must be at least 30 years old. Anyone younger ought to be out in the world, enjoying the fleeting years of their youth; not spending their lives locked in a cupboard.
- You must be in the UK. If you live overseas, move here before you contact me. (Dear American friends, I'm sorry that I can't help you with your relocation, no matter how perfect a slave you consider yourself.)
- You must be unattached, unless of course your partner is applying as well. I cannot tolerate competing demands on your time.
- You must be available for full-time slavery. 'Full-time' does not mean that you will never see a sunrise again, but that time off will be granted rarely, and only to avoid having third parties (close family members, specifically) suffer emotionally because of your abscence. 'Slavery' means that you will give up all your human rights and dedicate yourself in obedience to me. The few limits which exist will be there to protect me; it is a coincidence that many of them will also work in your favour.
- Your application must contain at least 250 words - long lists of activities that you enjoy do not count towards this total - and must be supported by a full body photo, unclothed, in which YOU SHOULD COVER OR OBSCURE THE WHOLE OF YOUR FACE; this requirement applies even if your profile already contains such a photo. (In case this isn't clear, you must take a new one.)
- You must be prepared to present yourself for inspection, in person, a short period after your memo. Everyone's profiles are full of complaints about people who promise to meet, but don't turn up. If you decide to behave this way, an entirely innocent slave will be beaten in your place.
- For those of you who feel that approaching a potential owner is inappropriate - you have permission to approach me.
- Requests for online service will not be considered.
- Any application which conforms to these minimum requirements will be considered. I hope hat you won't be dismayed that I must reject many of them without giving a lengthy list of reasons.
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