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| I'm an outdoors kinda guy, trapped in the necessity of an indoors/office world (I am an IT Consultant). I enjoy camping (no trailers or RV's - at most a cot in a tent), horseback riding, canoeing, rafting. I just got my PADI SCUBA diver cert a year ago last August but didn't have time to get my last two open water dives in. it was amazing. I like a good game of chess, although I am not anywhere near as good as I used to be. I love playing XBox with my son (I'm not good at that either but I love the time spent with him, even if I'm getting 'pwned'). I love the snow. Recent winters have been absolutely depressing! Oh, and I love reading. My tastes tend more to the Historical Fiction, SyFy, Fantasy. Favorite authors are James Clavel and Tom Clancy. Self help books make me break out in hives and I NEVER read the manual until I am stuck. My typical music trends toward classical and country but I also like to listen to what my son calls "oldies" from the 70's and 80's. I can listen to some of his techno, a bit of reggae, jazz but my tolerance for Hip Hop and Rap are rather on the short to non-existent side.
Shedding a tear or two during a movie with a particularly poignant scene is manly (e.g. Deep Impact, when the astronauts say good bye to their families right before they fly into the comet). I feel sorry for a guy who can't cry over such things, they keep their feelings so bottled up that it makes it hard for them to express those feelings. Mind you, when the lights come up, my eyes are as dry as the next guys... ;p
In the lifestyle, I think I would have to consider myself a romantic Top. That is, topping someone is most enjoyable for me when there is a sub-current of romance, erotic, arousal. Wielding the power given to me, watching her bottom begin to color, watching her squirm as the heat intensifies, cry out as it reaches reaches its pinnacle, yet arching her back, presenting her bottom for more - these are what I enjoy.
With the development of trust in a D/s relationship, I most often use a style of consensual non-consensual 'play'. I value the explicit trust imparted by the submissive in such situations above all else; a total power exchange, knowing that the person over my lap is willingly putting herself at my mercy, allowing me to guide and correct, accepting the same in the same spirit.
I am not looking for someone to serve me as a slave but rather to serve me because she wishes to please; to submit not because she must but because is pleases her and me to do so.
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I believe in a household where the man is the titular head of the household but the woman is the head of the home; a household where both partners have equal input in important decisions but where the head of the house is ultimately responsible for the final decision.
I also believe in accountability between partners using the Spencer Plan (http://www.epedominion.com/Library/spencer_spanking_plan.htm
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When poor decision making leads the household into difficulties, the head of the house must be ready to accept responsibility and the consequences of the same. By the same token, when the head of the home begins to nag, pester, or bring up past issues which have been 'addressed' (see Spencer plan), then she should likewise be prepared to accept responsibility and the consequences.
NOTE: Discipline under the Spencer Plan should never be used in conjunction with sexual intimacy. Discipline is one thing, foreplay is quite another.
That is not to say that a hairbrush, paddle, strap or even a cane can't and wouldn't be used as instruments of foreplay - for either party. It is, I believe, a fact that brisk application of any one or combination of the above instruments bring increased blood flow to the nether regions, causing the genitalia to be come more engorged with the same. Thus the male becomes even harder and somewhat larger and both are more sensitive. |
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What am I looking for? A woman 18 - 40(ish) who is a bit of a brat, likes to be spanked both as foreplay as well as domestic punishment for real offenses (getting a speeding ticket, telling a lie, being consistently late...). She would be a woman who is wholly devoted to my pleasure as I am to hers, just as likely to greet me at the front door with a cup of coffee or beer for me after a day of work as to greet me, naked with a hairbrush or cane and smoking eyes which beg for release.
Must be an animal lover, enjoy camping, horseback riding and other outdoor activities, be willing to play me in chess, even if you stink at it.
Willing to explore almost any fantasy at least once. |
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I like a woman to know and speak her mind, to be a bit sassy from time to time.
The mind is the most powerful aphrodisiac and should never be ignored nor is a woman just a quest for 'holes to fill', as some here would see it. The mind is the most important tool in any BDSM relationship and absolutely critical in many different fetishes.
For example, how would play rape work if you don't engage the mind? Or what is the excitement of being blindfolded and feeling ice alternated with hotwax if you don't engage the mind.
If one doesn't engage the mind, one misses out on opportunities for a good 'mind fuck'. e.g. I show you a sharp knife, let you feel it, then blind fold you. Next you feel something like cold steel against you - is it a real blade that could cut you? or I show you a paddle that makes your knees turn to water, your stomach start acrobatics and causes no small amount of fear to build within you, then blind fold you, and begin to paddle your bottom, not with the terrifying paddle but with one lighter... but your mind would believe it was the heavier.
In BDSM, if you don't engage the mind, its just pain and torture for the sake of itself and while that might be fine for a sadist or masochist, that is only a limited and very extreme end of BDSM. |
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