purpleparrot


PURPLE Male Submissive, 40, newyork, New York	purplemaze131 Male Submissive, 53	purplemtnsub Female Submissive, 21

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	About purpleparrot Oh my, a lot has changed. I'm Owned Until Time Grows Cold. I'm a very outgoing, serious young woman who organizes everyone in a hierarchy no matter their proclivities. I lean towards "Head Submissive" in a house; I enjoy wielding the responsibility of power, but I feel most comfortable when I am not at the top of the food chain and everyone knows their place. I'm very polyamorous and fairly choosy. I love physically, emotionally and intellectually and tend to treat the individuals who earn my affection as family. I'm very protective of and loyal to the company I keep. Oftentimes I've been referred to as 'mothering', which I think is simply due to being an oldest child and mother. I am intelligent, but not terribly knowledgeable and admittedly, fairly naive. I possess a fair amount of childlike qualities whilst managing to be a very useful, dependable person. I'm very fond of teaching what I know and tend to take a mentor-type role with friends who are new to this aspect of ourselves. "I hope you talk about the things that make you a good mom - your sense of wonder, your ability to really see through to the heart of things, and your fierce loyalty to the concept of fairness. you may be a little clumsy sometimes but you always land butter side up.[...] you are a lifetime learner but you know enough to be a good teacher too. Good luck." ~https://.com/users/281200 (A Mistress & friend who is very inspirational to me. I've learned a lot from Her.) I recently moved to the greater Portland area. So far, it is doing great things for my peace of mind and quality of life. Have at thee, Oregon!

Badass quote of the day:

"I?m not here looking for a girlfriend;
?I?m looking for a submissive who can do a remarkable girlfriend impression."
~ ForcefulHands

My Love & I are having a baby!
Pretty much everything else is on the backburner right now; this came as a complete shock, but we're incredibly happy.
Please, don't be offended if I don't respond right away anymore. Everything in my life is busy and I'm trying very hard to get the pieces to fit together.

I'm currently soaking in sensationalism.

The icicles that are my toes against the blanket, my body warming up & exhausted from a cold day seeding and mulching out in the wilderness. The roads are slippery muck and the weather is far from beautiful, but it looks like it's going to warm up. My boss is estatic about this; it means we can get more done.

I'm not gonna lie, eight hours lifting 50 pound bags of mulch and spreading it over a large seeded area is hard work. With the way it's been raining, it's even more difficult, and now we have to wear rain gear....but it's lovely. Crawling through the mud, climbing over fences and the comraderie we experience is just delightful.

I feel accomplished...and of course, it is simply stunning outside here in Idaho right now. Just fucking gorgeous. The smell of wet dirt, the trees and shrubs turning colours, the dark clouds in the sky, the sun just barely peeking out...Oh, it's stunning.

So now I'm sitting at home. I'm sore and exhausted, but I feel accomplished and happy...if only someone were here with me, it would be perfect.

Yes, I mean perfect. I mean that it absolutely could not get better. I have a beautiful sort of settlement with life: if it gives me what I want, I will not want more.

Dude. Pizza.

Just something from a chat that might help you gather what I'm after:

Him: what are you exactly looking for in cm?
Me: That's a fantastic question I have yet to answer for even myself.
Just other BDSM people, I suppose. I'm not really looking for a Dom right now. In fact, I think it's silly to go in looking for a lover.
I'd much rather let things progress naturally
I figure, if I put myself in a place that has people who have the qualities I am looking for
And slowly weed through the jackasses and fakes
Hopefully I will make friends along the way and something will blossom from said friendships.

So.
I've been incredibly busy as of late trying to survive, and today I got the money out of my wallet stolen (long story) so my grip on my situation is faltering.
I'm sorry if I've been late getting around to answering messages. I do respond to everyone, but it takes time and I usually check collarme around midnight - 2 am, when my brain is foggy and I really should be in bed....

Also, I'd like to note that I'm really not LOOKING for a Dom/me right now. I'm trying to figure some things in my head and my life out, and I don't know how an external ruling force would fit into collage of falling leaves that currently is my life.
Also, my friend Thyris is coming to live with me for a while, and I'm utterly thrilled about that! So...yeah, s/he's taking up a lot of my mind right now.

...ahhhh just an update. Nothing so poetic or long-winded like my previous posts. Nothing ground breaking or spiritual. Just "OMG THYRIS IS COMING" and "bluuhhh money sucks and i r teh tired."

OH! And I lost weight! Wheee <3 I went to the doctor the other day and I weigh 197 instead of 203! I am psyched.

anyways...

Hope you're all well.
Bright blessings.
~parrot

I had a conversation with a friend of mine I'd like to share.

Him:
I have a question
How can good or bad exist
If to you your enemy is evil and you are doing good

however
in the enemies eyes
Your the one who's evil and doing bad and there good
?
Me:
Perspective. Perception.
It's all in how you see things
Him:
So the matter of good and evil is perspective?
Me:
Yep.
Good and evil is how you see things.
Right and wrong, however, are solid Truths.
It is not right to hurt people, to destroy things unnecessarily etc etc
Him:
yes, but that's in your own beliefs
Me:
No, it's not right to hurt people and destroy things ><
Him:
But in someone else's eyes it could be good to do that?
Me:
Yeah, but they'd be wrong <_<
End of story. I don't care what others believe when it comes to that.
Him:
Are you one to decide whether one is wrong?
Me:
Yes :P
Him:
Very well... Well played Purple hair woman of Right and Wrong
Me:
Damn straight hehe
You're asking open ended questions.
They don't have right answers.
I am in one breath the end of the line, the only and still the smallest part of a whole.
Him:
Indeed, so all anyone can do is answer to a matter of opinion, and no matter how warped the person may attend to be a persons opinion is always accounted for
Me:
Exactly ^^
The world is stone, but even stone can be shaped through hard work and perseverance.
Duality is something people misunderstand.
They believe it's either one or the other, when in reality, everything is both.
Once one accepts that everything is nothing and nothing is everything, things make more sense and raise more questions ^_^
Such is the life.
Him:
You're a work of art that has thousands of different meanings that all attend to vary, but even with all the contradicting meanings you still bring awe to the breath of every viewer. And as time goes on your not forgotten, your awe just slowly transforms into sheer amazement.
:)
Me:
D'aww, I'm not that cool, but thank you. I'm flattered.

I apologize profusely to those who have been trying to contact me and I've been incredibly slow in responding. I've been very busy.

I'm going to Texas for a week here in 2 - 3 weeks and a lot of stuff is going on before that can happen.
I'm also going to be in Georgia for the month of September.

Lotsa shit to do, my friends. I haven't even had time to play my RPGs :(

I have read my profile over a few times and realize it sounds incredibly harsh. Very defensive and almost domineering in how picky I am and how much of a brat I am.

For this, I'd like to apologize.
But it's a half-hearted sort of apologize, because I'm not going to fix it. Not until those aspects of me are fixed, anyhow.

I had a mildly awkward conversation with my mother the other day where she labeled me a control freak, who didn't like to be controlled.
Normally, this would be replied to with what would turn into an hour-long conversation about BDSM and the various mentalities and where she and I fit into it, but since my grandparents were there, I gently responded with, "No...I just haven't found someone who does it right yet."

You see, I am a wild thing. I understand I could never be completely someone else's, no matter how much I'd really love to. I can hardly give myself over to my religion, to my Gods. I could never be a slave unless I was forced into it...which is why I have labeled myself submissive.

Given the right Master, I respond well. I was a good submissive to my former Dom and we enjoyed a healthy give and take? for an online relationship. So nice, in fact, that I honestly would have considered living with him if things hadn't played out the way they did and ended it.

Part of me actually wants to go and speak to him, ask him what were the good aspects and what I needed to work on, so I could be better...but I we are no longer speaking, so that cannot be accomplished. He's likely to just call me names.

I miss the late-night chats, I miss how we clicked. I miss the fantastic way he could make me feel like a girl, like his pet, with a simple change in his tone.

Fuck what I want for a moment, what I -need- is someone who tries my patience, makes me laugh, can smooth-talk me into peace when I'm crying in the corner because you've scared me and gently order to try again. I need someone who will push my boundaries, love me completely and understand that I can love others as well, but it doesn't make me love them any less. Someone who understands my need for other submissives, switches, friends, lovers and maybe Dominants in my life, who is willing to compromise so long as they are my Alpha.
Yes, I admit it. I need an Alpha.
I want a pack and I need an Alpha.

...(But metaphorically please. I still am not into sleeping with my dogs, sorry.)

Changes.

I am no longer in school.
I no longer have a boyfriend.
I am no longer a virgin
(Those are not correlating experiences).
I have a dog of my own.
I'm 18.

Things that haven't changed.

I need a job,
I love my mom,
I want a Dom but I'm so picky that I scare people off xD
I love frogs
and purple
and the wind
and the moon
and wish I got more sunlight.
I miss the desert,
I love my friend Thyris,
I need a band
...and my living room still creeps me out at night.

So.

Being an adult isn't much of a change. Nothing important has changed in my perspective. Nothing has changed in my mind. Losing my virginity was nice, as I expected and wanted. Turning 18 has done nothing for me, except irk me and taunt me with things I don't have the funds to do...like fix the van and leave this place.

I'm going to go make breakfast in the empty house of my parents while listening to the brilliant vocals of James Maynard Keenan.

A walk around the block with my pit bull under the full moon seemed welcome until I actually got outside. It's May and it's freezing and I am less than pleased, but I love Mother Moon with all my heart and she makes me feel safe, so I suppose it was worth it.
I re-wove my necklace with all my charms on it, which is featured in my first picture. My dear friend gave me a green string and I decided that I required my collar once more.
I have an on-again-off-again relationship with my religion, with Magic, with my Gods, and more specific to my ramblings right now, my necklace. Every time I become disenchanted with magic (ha) I cut off my choker and set the charms on my altar. Slowly, I begin lighting candles and meditating and talking to the wind again, and eventually I remake my necklace. It has three charms:
*The spiral Celtic knot charm I got from mom.
*The Pentacle charm I got from Hannah, a sister Witch.
and
*The "Celtic knot of sexuality" I bought when I first moved up here, was 15 years old, and knew nothing! Heh. It's just a standard Celtic knot with a gem in the middle, but I like it, and around my neck it might as well be a knot of sexuality, seeing as that's a major part of me.

I usually remake my "collar" when I'm upset and needing guidance, whether I destroyed it earlier or not. I look to the Gods for direction, discipline, love, rules...the same sort of things I look for in a Dominant, in a way. I suppose, ultimately, I think of the Gods as my Masters, which is why it's comforting to have my necklace, my choker, my collar, which is a symbol of my needing, loving and respecting them.
Remaking it makes me feel better. The only thing I could want beyond love from the Gods right now, at this weird time in my life, is direction from a Dominant. I need a lap to rest my head on and someone to run their fingers through my hair and tell me I'll be alright, and tell me how to make them happy. It's so much nicer than this stupid guessing game normal people play.

... I dislike being unattached.

Aww, I shouldn't look at boy subbie profiles, it just makes me sad. Mostly because I know I can't change their nature, I wouldn't want to change their nature, but...they're so darn cute!

I am a sucker for puppy-dog eyes and someone who knows their place, which is a testament to the hints of truth in the teasing that I may secretly be a Domme. I'm not though. I just like when people know what they are and embrace it.

Dominants...are weird in that. Sure, they're Dominant. They're supposed to be definitive. Be able to make decisions and protect. But they're also people, and people aren't infallible.

I suppose I think of Dominants as warriors who all think that they're the general. "Well Sweetie, certainly there's someone You drop to a knee to and bow Your head? Even if it's Your God."

I'm a bit of a brat.
I like questioning people and things and scraping out all the crap and the junk on the inscription so I can read the correct order of things. I like to know where I stand in the pecking order. If I'm on the bottom, I'll act accordingly. If I was on the top...
Hoo boy. I never want to control like that. Telling my friends to go home when they bug me is power enough. I don't want to be the be-all-end-all. It's too much pressure.
I want to know someone above me has a grip on things and I can help.
Yes, that's a nice way of thinking of it.

As you might notice, I mostly think of BDSM in terms of power exchange and less of sex. This may very well be because I...well, I've never had sex. All of my experiance in the sexual side of BDSM has been over a phone, with my own hands and a -beautiful- male voice telling me what to do. He had my head, sheesh. It was the most...empowering, beatuiful, sublime...He was amazing, while it lasted.

My current boyfriend is shy, and doesn't see the merit in looking into BDSM. We've had scenes though! Back when I was with my Sir, I begged to be allowed to do long-distance scenes with Robert and my my...That was lovely. I miss it. So I know he has it, he's just unwilling and in a bad place right now. All will be well.

??? Life is Art and Art (music, painting, writing, acting and everything in between) is the expression of an experience. Breathing, sex, the taste of food and making new friends. The dog's fur stuck to your face after you snuggle. It is the back story of art.

?? ?I live my life by experience, enraptured in the feel of the dirt beneath my bare feet and the warmth of a person beside me. I love animals and colours and the wind. The wind holds a special place in my heart and I talk to it more than I talk to people.

?? ?When it comes right down to it, I am spiritual and appreciative; even holding a hand or doing dishes, gardening or breathing...it's magic to me. I hold no religion, but claim a few when hard pressed to explain myself, such as Wicca and Paganism. BDSM has always been a part of this for me; to submit, to Serve, is what I live for. I do it in many ways. I serve in mundane ways, and with my art, my music, my heart. To serve another Human is a blessed thing and an amazing, maturing experience. To serve the Gods a chore sometimes, but ultimately rewarding.

?? ?A wizard or a witch knows what they are from early childhood. I believe we're all fairly sure we know what we are early on: A submissive, a Dominant, a slave, a Master, a thinker, a doer, an artist or a warrior. Upon our first breath, we are all called to serve, even Dominants. Dominants serve by directing, by leading, by providing the control and support that we need, where submissives serve by following, listening and supporting their leaders. We, as Humans, are called to serve one another, it's a higher nature. I haven't figured it all out yet, but I am really working on it, and I am fulfilled by making people happy. It's nice to know my place.

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purpleparrot

About purpleparrot

I'm Owned Until Time Grows Cold.