Devastated :'(

I can't stop crying...

lol what a silly girl.

We are friends but he can't keep me.

I am sad. A bit lost., a bit hurt. I will deal.

For the moment though i am so drawn to him. i haven't managed to cum. I feel so silly about it 33 days lol. but for not.

85kg which is great. no reason not to follow through with those rules they are working for me.

i miss him, it hurts, i understand why he had to leave.  I am very disappointed. i don't give my heart easily.

i love him

i ruined it

86 and 32...

i am lost.

i feel like an ass. 

so confused

the number is 87

i haven't cum in 31 days

Daddy is off with his buddies. i am starting to feel better which means i am still needy but also super insecure. i have been having sick dreams with lots of ex boyfriends pawing at me with unrelenting messages in the dream of Daddy is leaving you. You are stupid for not seeing it. i hate being sick... i know in a couple of days i will feel better physically and emotionally. in the meantime i am stuck with dreams of ex-boyfriends and lovers. Daddy is deadly silent so i have to find inner calm in myself. i can do it. it just is difficult with a sick brain.

Daddy would call the number 86.5 i call it 87

30 days since i have orgasmed. Daddy seems so distant. i feel soooo needy. i haven't been held since August. not properly held. i am really at breaking point. i love him so much but this lack of touch feels cruel.

Today's number is 87.

I am very very sick. i miss Daddy like crazy. i need lots and lots of cuddles.

Daddy didn't make me cum yesterday. it has been 29 days since i have orgasmed.

i miss him so much. the distance is making me feel sad. not following Daddy's rules makes me feel sad. i physically couldn't follow Daddy's rules at the moment. i need a hug. i need to feel safe in his arms. i know i am grotty and unappealing right now so its probably good we are far away.

the number is 87.

i have not cum for 28 days.

i have a cold. it was coming on yesterday and i was forcing myself to go to the gym. Daddy looked after me and sent me home. i am so stubborn sometimes. i really like the path that Daddy has set me on and while it is hard i don't like diverting from it even when it is with his consent. i think perhaps my life will spin out of control again like how it was before i met Daddy. i want to be good for him.

All i really want to do is go for my morning swim. i know since the weather is coolish today it would only make my cold worse. i wish Daddy was here i need him to stroke my sore naked body. i feel so needy and infantile when i am sick. A hug would have been a great chrissie present. lol, i sent Daddy something juvenile this morning. What do you give the man who has everything and could take anything he wanted from you. lol. i wish i had been a bit more creative.

i love Daddy. i need a cuddle.

the number is 87 again :)

now to not stuff that up over Christmas.

Love my family apparently we are having fresh fruit for dessert.

i have not cum for 27days. i do not want cum with out Daddy inside me.

We chatted last night and i feel a lot better. He is very generous with me.

the number is still 88 :(

Today is a very active day so hopefully that helps matters. snorkeling during the daywith an old buddy and then gymming hard tonight.

it has been 27 days since i have cum.

Daddy is still teasing me saying He'll make me cum on Christmas. i don't want to cum until He is deep inside me. i hope Daddy finds a way soon. The summer heat drives my libido crazy. i wouldn't stop masturbating all summer if Daddy wasn't around. i really need Him. we are hilarious with our communication issues. its nearly been a week since we talked properly... (i don't count him chatting to me while i am drunk or half awake.)

Daddy was a darling last night. i was struggling with massive chocolate cravings. i was so afraid i would run off and binge. he talked me through it. He gave me half a banana and a half a glass of milk.

i miss him so much.

test test cm hates me why won't it let me post

i am 88kg

i have not cum in 26 days.

i miss my Daddy.

he is teaching me my place.

big sigh the number is 88 again back on track. although it isn't looking like i will make Daddy's goal of 85 by chrissie.  yikes i don't fancy what the punishment for that will be.

i have not cum for 25 Days and W/we have not played for 3.

i miss Daddy. i know he is protecting himself. i suspect he is going to tell me some bad news for me very shortly. i love him so much. i am trying to just assume the best and deal with the heart ache when it comes. i want the best for him and if that means he has to be far away from me then i will accept it with as much grace as i can muster.

i really am having trouble waiting patiently to find out what is happening in Daddy's mind. i have learned not to place pressure on him. it is mostly curiosity. What is the next step in the journey for this man i love so much. i know that he needs to make a decision independently of how he feels for me. my love is there even if it has to be platonic. maybe it is good we haven't consummated our relationship.

gah throws scale out window. the number is 89... i spent two hours at the gym yesterday.

i have not cum for 24 DAYS!!!!!

i miss Daddy. He rang last night while i was sleeping. i am pretty sure i babbled at him for a good while. i don't really remember what i said. i hope i was polite. he is back at his abode today. i want to hear about his travels.

I haven't cum for 23 Days

My weight is still back at 89... grrr. 

I will hit the gym hard today. i was in denial that i could put on 2 kg in one day!  i hope maybe it has to do with my time of month too.... Oh well best not to make excuses but just start moving again. 

i miss Daddy. he is away at the moment. i hope he is having lots of fun and learning about himself. He is in a beautiful part of the world i hope he is taking the time to appreciate the beauty that is around him. i wonder how he is going :)

Today i have my tail between my legs.

i have not cum for 22 days.

The number on the scale spiked up to 89. (up two kg in one day???)

The only difference in my diet yesterday was it was my chrissy party and Daddy let me drink 5 glasses of wine. i got hammered. i am a hopeless light weight at the best of times. i feeling nauseous still as i am writing this. i also ate snag sandwich after six. i haven't had wheat is a really long time. maybe this bloated me out too. But 2kg in one day. My calories in definitely don't warrant that number. i obsessing a bit because i couldn't make it to the gym today. i am only now starting to feel human again. i spent the entire morning hugging the toilet bowl.

Daddy tried to warn me off drinking but allowed me anyway. Oh dear i never want to look at alcohol again. i must listen to Daddy's suggestions more often.

i will share a story from the weekend. Daddy was exerting his power over me on the weekend. i was at work on Sunday. i work a customer service job and was stealing moments to text Daddy back and keep him titillated. At one point Daddy said he was going to cum soon. i asked someone to cover me so i could steal a moment to go to the very public toilet. Daddy wanted a tribute. asked me to stick my panties up my vagina and leave them there for the rest of the day. They didn't fit my hole is too small. So he got me to stick them in my mouth and send him a pic. I spewed a little as they hit the back of my throat.

Daddy rang and got me to touch. People were coming into the loos and i was very self conscious of making too much noise. Daddy got me to rub up against the door of the stall and then to lift my leg on the toilet and touch his clit. Daddy was disappointed with how quiet i was being. years of masturbation in my family home has taught me to bite my lips and hold in noises. i was worried i was being missed at work. Daddy kept me there for what seemed like forever i was afraid it was getting busy at work and they would come look for me. Daddy let me go back to work with out panties. my job entails a lot of bending over and walking around with the wetness between my legs.

i was very needy and insecure for the rest of the Day. i was having trouble with this public masturbation. it taps into some of my shame about my sexuality and my childhood. i didn't have words or understanding at the time to describe this so i was very clingy.

My bitch is now 87kg and it's been 21 days Since I've let her cum. Little girls shouldn't need to cum they should only need their sirs daddy's or masters. 

I want a female slave that she can discuss "life in training" with. If you can relate to these posts then message us and I will decide if you're right to be slave friends with her. 

X

master. 

the number is still 88 on the scale

it has been 20 days since i last came.

it is very humid and sticky and Daddy continues his teasing/training. he gave me a bit longer to play with myself today and some mental cues that spoke more loudly to his pussy. It is so humid here. i really need Daddy to use his pet's body. :) i got in trouble for being to demanding so i will be shhhh on that matter.

i was wonder are there any new slaves out there? i really need some guidance, and reassurance. Daddy is breaking me down so he can put me back together again. i get so tired and emotional i just need to chat with someone who has been through this process. this is my first time being trained. it is taking everything out of me. i want so much to be good for him. i am trying so hard. i need a friend who i can confide in. i can't tell my girl friends because they would tell me to run away. i told an old Dom friend but he just want to get in my pants. i love Daddy. i am so exposed and vulnerable i need someone who can laugh about the process with me.

Day off

the number 88 2 fat ladies woot!

it has been 19 days since i have orgasmed.

Sooo i have the day off. but my first move this morning was to put my nipple in my mouth Daddy told me i didn't have to do that today. initially i was relieved. Making my body hyper aroused for Daddy every morning has been taking its toll. Fairly quickly i realised Daddy's kindness, had the same effect. Only the effect was 10 fold. i need him so much. i love him with all my soul. i feel a little(extremely) lost with this freedom. part of me is ready to just follow the pattern Daddy has laid out for me. He has given me this time to rest. i do need to rest. i was so fatigued yesterday. i really was being a little girl. i had a nap yesterday and i went to sleep at 8:30. 

Daddy has graced me with a day of rest but i feel i will use this as a day of worship. i don't know what to do with myself with out Daddy. i do know Daddy needs worship. He is my God and he has allowed me this time for my mind and body to recover. i will use it to praise my lord. Daddy is my Savior he changing my life. He is giving me so much of himself. i want him to know that i cherish every word he graces me with. i want to worship him physically but this is not about my want it is about his greatness.

Daddy needs to be reminded about how wonderful and giving he is. He needs to know it is okay to take something for himself and if needs anything i would love the privilege of trying to provide it for him. i hope (selfishly) that he uses me as his sounding board today. Daddy is so strong he helps so many. i hope he is helping himself. Daddy has so much value he is warm, friendly, wickedly creative, strong, and vulnerable. He is my God because he is so perfectly human. He is not pretending to be anything he is not and i look up to him in awe. i love him with my whole heart. i hope he feels my love.

i am his. i worship him. i adore him. i want to protect him.

"We need something in our society that says there is some importance to heart and authenticity. Not just money, power, and how are we going to control the world."
- Comedian, Garry Shandling, 2011

I was hoping to make it to Christmas day so My present to her would be an orgasm - in her bedroom while her parents were over Xmas day - so she didnt have long and would have to be quiet  yes shes a screamer... Also as soon as her cunt started to cum she would have to stop touching so her orgasm would be ruined - ohh the life of a bitch under me, isnt easy! BUT its the BEST... ultimate orgasm cntrl - is when her girl bits are so sensitive all the time - that she is keep on heat constantly - but still, cant cum without My command. Its a head heart soul combination that Im pushing for in this lil bitch - and shes coming along nicely. Where Im taking her - none of you will have ever been - the skill required to lead love and inspire a lil one - is complicated and exquisite.

=)

who wants 5 mins on cam with her?

Master

i was feeling really scattered after corner time. i was sitting in front of the computer trying to apply for jobs. All i could do was feel my longing for Daddy. i went to the bedroom and lay on the bed. i felt so exhausted physically and emotionally drained. i need to feel connection with my Daddy. Daddy said no more touching for today. i was still wet between my thighs and my heart longed for Daddy. i wondered if Daddy would ever come. i miss having a smidgen of sanity. my heart hurts, my pussy hurts, my body hurts all for Daddy. I longed for Daddy to beat me. i just felt naughty for not being able to focus. its hard to understand why i would want physical pain from Daddy. i think it is a combination of factors. i want to feel his physical presence and strength. i know that i will feel safe and calm under his violence. i really wanted it. The past few days i have felt out of control emotionally. i am just reacting and i needed to feel safe in Daddy's control again. i texted my love and told him i needed him to hurt me. i apologized shortly after.

Daddy asked if i had gotten the deep heat. i hadn't had a chance to go to the store yet..  Daddy said to get the clamps. (clothes pegs) and to clamp my nipples and clit. to tie a string between them and hang as much weight as i could bare. i really find this excruciating. i was puzzled why i would ask for such a task to inflict upon myself. i think i just needed Daddy. i am so needy at the moment. Daddy wanted a pic of this spectacle when it was completed. I took the photo of a salt shaker and my glasses dangling from my breasts near my clit. In my pain and desire i sent the message to my boss. i realized about 2 seconds after sending. i was horrified. i sent another asking him to delete it. i rang him and said if he hadn't seen the text then he should delete it because it was very inappropriate.

i was super upset. I started crying and sending Daddy lots of text messages. i was feeling sick to my stomach and suicidally shameful. I like my boss he doesn't need to see that. i started expressing this emotional state to Daddy via text. He was in the shower and i was working myself up into quite a state. When he saw my texts, he talked me down. stopped me from crying hysterically and tried to refocus my energy on the important tasks. He has such a way with hysterical little girls. It is so amazing. i really wish i could think straight. He calmed me down and held me with his words. i really hope he comes soon.

i am exhausted but i have been set the task of writing 3 job applications before lunch. i love Daddy. He is my safe place. i wish i could hold him.

the number is still 89. i am sooo hungry

it has been 18 days since i came.

i am so dizzy and horny after corner time. i am sure one day i will faint the blood just stops circulating or it all goes down to Daddy's pussy. i am so sexually frustrated. Even more than from Daddy teasing me for 30 seconds. i am on the brink of tears again. i hope Daddy comes soon. i am really not dealing. Daddy wants me to be productive but i flit from feeling physically exhausted from all the exercise to painfully hungry to insatiably horny. i hate failing Daddy on any front but using my brain right now seems almost impossible. i need Daddy, i need him inside. i would like to have my brain functioning instead of being an emotional wreck because i am with out all of my addictions. i am soooo tired emotionally and physically. i love Daddy so much. i really need his help. i don't want to fail him. i need to be able to use my brain... Daddy please, your cunt is screaming at me, and i can't make it shhhh. i love you... thank you for your kind words. kisses you sweety. i need you so much.

i need my Daddy soo Badly. He says if i beg well enough he might reward me. His cunt is dripping for him. My nipples are erect. i need Beautiful Sir inside me so badly. i need to feel physical connection with my Beloved Sir. My need for Sir is affecting my mind. i nearly had a tantrum yesterday. i needed him so bad and i felt neglected when he wasn't there like a small child who was abandoned. so silly my cunt is crying for the man i worship. it needs him to feel whole. i need him to make my soul feel whole. i miss him so much when he is not around and i need his physical being to calm this growing desire for him. i need him. i start crying like a silly child when i can not have him. i love him with my whole soul. i need to love him with my body too.

hi & thankyou for all the great mail - there are amazing people all around, and once the lesser of the human race are blocked (love that function) then all is beautiful again and I can go back to engineering creative ways to be entertained my My slut. huni - you are so wonderful - you have my heart - your soul devotion to Me and seeing me smile is like nothing i have ever experienced - you truly are a reflection of your Master. I love you babe. 

to everyone else reading - pls feel free to engage and chat with us. =) and live life alone - were only around the corner from you lol. I have a heart for community-like minded fun 'other' becoming friends. Heres the challenge - to even 'slightly' integrate' that wonderful fantasy mind you have into some actually reality. i.e. if your enjoying reading these - send a message and tell us what you like, offer suggestions - tell us ideas, or perhaps a fav fantasy of yours - maybe Ill get my slut to help make it come true. Im soooo not a hippie if its coming across like that (I know youll be loln ay me slut saying that ;)   lol). Some of your cm ppl are so shy. kisses... Master

i am very very horny today. I really really want to touch. i know Daddy is super busy. So i asked if i could touch... Daddy took 30 minutes to respond. He is in lots of meetings this morning. When he did respond he teased me some more and let me touch for 30 seconds. in that 30 seconds i was writhing around making little whimpering noises. Daddy got me to stop and teased me some more. I was sucking on my fingers in anticipation. Daddy let me play for another 30 seconds. in that interval the moans got louder i needed his mouth on my nipples and i shook uncontrollably. i find it so odd when i lose control of my limbs.  Daddy had to go to his next meeting so he has left me here hot flustered completely horny and unable to focus on anything but Daddy and his unattainable penis. sigh...

Today's number is still 89 (looking forward to 88 two fat ladies hehe)

It has been 17 Days since my last orgasm

i am so in love with Daddy. My goodness though falling in love with an exhibitionist when you are painfully shy is quite the challenge. Daddy's pictures of his/(the holes on my body) were given as private devotion.  Daddy loves to flaunt, so adorable.

i have been learning more of Daddy's soul and it is so inspiring. It has reawakened the desire between my legs. i want to hold him inside of me and let him know that it will all be ok. That he is special and nothing can change that. Daddy is allowed to be still and see his soul mirrored back to him through me. i love him so much.

On the pragmatic discipline side of things, i worked out i need to be loosing a kilo every 3 days if i am going to reach Daddy's goal of 85 by chrissy.... I am still struggling during corner time the coin keeps dropping, i either feel like i will faint (kneeling up) or the circulation to my legs is cut off (kneeling down). i still it spiritual and very arousing but feel i should be improving at the pragmatic side of it by now. i always feel such devotion after for my hero. He is still having a rough time and i hope i am providing the support he needs. i hope he takes what he needs. i am still learning how to try to anticipate what he needs. i hope i learn quickly.

hi everyone - Im this sluts Daddy.. isnt she beautiful the way she expresses her need for Me and details it all for you to read, thankyou for the kind comments - sorry for having to block a lot of you also - but I dont appreciate rude or demanding people. Approach U/us respectfully, remember this may be your fantasy world - but we are real people with real beliefs, dreams and hearts. Get to know U/us =)... I realise to a lot of you that this control seems extreme - but when 'love' drives your connection and 'craving' your devotion a magical world opens up that you never knew was there. Ive been a Dom for 12 years and get asked a lot by other doms and subs for advice. I simply cant understand how a Dom cant find or or simply 'take' a submissive and I dont understand why 'submissives' cant submit often to anything but their own desires. This all seems backwards and upsidedown to Me. So if you really are struggling - dont be alone, come chat - always here to help.

kisses, Master. ohhh and Im also wondering after I take my bitch out of chastity and allow her to orgasm - if you would like me to record her cumming and add it on this profile as an audio journal? I often get her to masturbate to the point of cumming and will force her to stay on the edge until It gets me hard without touching..hahaha poor girl its an amazing sound - the sounds that come from her in this state would blow your mind - seriously!She really is a beautiful red head, and its funny cause I tell her if she drops off the orgasm edge that shes to tell on herself.. Shes so cute and so devoted, Im thinking of getting a whistle to try and train her and also sometime soon going to have a secret word that when anyone says it to her shes to go and wank till she cums. Any suggestions on what that word should be - gosh Im far to creative at the moment-this will get dangerous.hahaha. BTW I have some beautiful pics of her cunt, ass and mouth - let me know if you want to see them. After all I would love for you to actually know what she looks like 'wet' when shes writing about it without jst imagining it. FYI- I find pussys generally pretty funny, gross looking - but My sluts is beautifully small and incredibly pink - I can prove it ;) I generally think if I can bring a smile to your face then I think thats a great accomlishment. Bitch will be horrified when she reads this - but huni, youre owned and your mine - and you love me right?

ok nuf said - read this before you go, I found it amusing. xx.. A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.   He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.    The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?''No', he replies, 'I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it.'   The intrigued woman says, 'A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?' 'It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me,' he explains.    'What's it telling you now?' 'Well, it says you're not wearing any panties...' The woman giggles and replies, 'Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!'     The man starts tapping on the watch face and says,       'Damn thing must be an hour fast. '

Hurray today's number is REALLY 89. Daddy has set me a goal of 85 by christmas! Better get moving :) I was feeling sooooo insecure yesterday. I was so horny and agitated. I was feeling undesirable, why would Daddy want me. I worked so hard and nothing was happening. Generally blue and horny. Daddy rang me at work. i was so thrilled to hear from him. i usually work completely alone. But yesterday my boss came for a visit at the most inconvenient time and then another work colleague came in. Daddy was teasing me with his orgasm again. I was whispering my devotion and desire for Daddy and he started to moan. My heart fluttered. My panties got wet. i was blushing. i was at a 9.5 and my boss was in the room next door and the door was wide open. Daddy ended the call he didn't want to get me in trouble but i was sooooo sad and horny. i HATE not helping Daddy come to orgasm. i feel like i failed when i can't serve him. i needed him too i was having a very fertile randy day. i felt kind of sad, super needy and lost the rest of the day. Daddy was lovely and warm to me. But i felt like i failed him and i was sad. Daddy brought joy to my heart this morning when he told me the other half the story of the phone conversation. Daddy was with his masseuse when he rang me at work. Daddy had told this lovely lady about owning me and how i haven't cum for 15 days because i love Daddy. Daddy was telling her about my crying when i don't get to hear him cum. Daddy put me on the phone with Miss masseuse while she was sucking on Daddy's beautiful cock. Daddy told me of our adventure while i was on the bus this morning. i am at work and i am so wet and horny. i was so happy to hear the story of Daddy and the masseuse i thought i had failed Daddy's sexual need but i was supplementing his and his friend's needs :). Daddy made me feel like such a good girl after i was making myself feel like a failure. i love it when Daddy is open and honest with me. He fills my soul with joy.

Hurray today's number is REALLY 89. Daddy has set me a goal of 85 by christmas! Better get moving :) I was feeling sooooo insecure yesterday. I was so horny and agitated. I was feeling undesirable, why would Daddy want me. I worked so hard and nothing was happening. Generally blue and horny. Daddy rang me at work. i was so thrilled to hear from him. i usually work completely alone. But yesterday my boss came for a visit at the most inconvenient time and then another work colleague came in. Daddy was teasing me with his orgasm again. I was whispering my devotion and desire for Daddy and he started to moan. My heart fluttered. My panties got wet. i was blushing. i was at a 9.5 and my boss was in the room next door and the door was wide open. Daddy ended the call he didn't want to get me in trouble but i was sooooo sad and horny. i HATE not helping Daddy come orgasm. i feel like i failed when i can't serve him. i needed him too i was having a very fertile randy day. i felt kind of sad, super needy and lost the rest of the day. Daddy was lovely and warm to me. But i felt like i failed him and i was sad. Daddy brought joy to my heart this morning when he told me the other half the story of the phone conversation. Daddy was with his masseuse when he rang me at work. Daddy had told this lovely lady about owning me and how i haven't cum for 15 days because i love Daddy. Daddy was telling her about my crying when i didn't get to hear him cum. Daddy had actually had me on the phone while miss masseuse was sucking on Daddy's beautiful cock. Daddy told me of our adventure while i was on the bus this morning. i am at work and i am so wet and horny. i was so happy to hear the story of Daddy and the masseuse i thought i had failed Daddy's sexual need but i was supplementing his and his friends. Daddy made me feel like such a good girl after i was making myself feel like a failure. i love it when Daddy is open and honest with me. He fills my soul with joy.

Daddy is calling today's number 89.5...

The nearness to 90 makes my brain feel a little bulimic. Daddy worked me really hard last night. He got me to do 90 minutes of cardio at the gym and was threatening to make it 2 hours. I was quite horrified. I have been sore from one hour of cardio. Daddy got me to go on the dreaded treadmill. I am still not a fan but I am less intimidated. I noticed my heart rate was much higher on the treadmill than the other torture devices. I was surprised at myself for completing the 90minutes. That is the power of Daddy. He amazes me so much. My body was exhausted after. I got home and collapsed in the shower. I lay in child's pose on the floor till the hot water ran out.

I got up and opened up seek. I couldn't really read. Daddy rang and saved me from my over ambitious self. He was so cheerful and playful. I wanted to be playful I could barely speak. Daddy looked out for me. He told me happy stories from his day. He then played with his clit, he got me to repeat i love honour and obey you. It was very beautiful. Playing with his clit completely exhausted what little energy i had in reserve. Daddy tucked me in to bed. It was only 7:45. It was still light out. it might be the hottest thing Daddy has ever done for me. Sadly i was too tired to fully comprehend it at the time. my head hit the pillow and I slept till 6:30 this morning.

Daddy is looking out for me and says no gym today. Part of my brain still really wants to go. But I love honour and obey xxxx

Today's number is still 90. I find that frustrating. I worked so hard at the gym last night. We accidentally missed my last meal because i asked to eat at an awkward time last night.

Daddy has made me so happy. He is coming to visit. I have the silliest grin on my face and i am drenched between my legs. i am so elated. hehe and maybe a smidgen nervous. Daddy is so creative i hope i can keep up. yikes i am so happy and nervous. i feel kind sick like a kid who is too excited about Christmas. :)

Daddy and i were just texting about some pragmatics of the day. We started flirting. i started to worship Daddy. i had expressed how horny for Daddy corner time makes me. Focusing all of that thought into my God creates wetness between my legs.

Daddy shared with me some beautiful imagery and some scary imagery. i know i am bound to this man when i don't arc up or say no to water sports. i told him how i lusted for his cum. He told me that he would use me to worship his cock and of its fluids. i felt fear. i water sports are icky. i love my Daddy and i will do anything for him. i think this is what all of those silly Dom's mean by pushing limits. i am willing to do these thing because i adore Daddy. That is not something that comes easily. As funny as Daddy thinks it is, i am a feminist. i do not submit to any man. i submit to this one very exceptional man.

Daddy let me touch my clit. It was earth shattering. i shook and shook. i begged to hear Daddy cum. i get so desperate. i want Daddy so much. i love hearing him happy. i love hearing him cum. i begged and begged for this privilege. i started to cry, big heaving sobs. i wasn't crying because i thought i wasn't going to cum. i knew i wasn't. But not hearing Daddy happy left with a big pit in my heart. i felt like such a crazy brat.  i wanted to hear him. i wanted to hear him happy. i stopped begging and just sobbed for a while. i wanted to laugh at myself and how ridiculous i was being. Honestly i wanted that feeling of connection from hearing Daddy cum. It is important to me and to have it dangled in front of me and taken away was oddly excruciating to my heart. Daddy told me his orgasm was great. i was a bit of sulky poo head. i was happy to please him but i felt sad.

Daddy told we to write about this experience here. Part of my sulkiness was i told him know one would believe that i cried because i didn't get to hear him cum. i am still trying to wrap my head around it. i miss him.

The number on the scale is still 90.

Daddy has added a new rituals to my morning. i am going to have to start waking up very early to get all this stuff done. :) i will be happy to do it for Daddy. After my morning swim and before my weigh in i have 10 minutes of corner time. i have to hold a 20 cent piece up against the wall with my nose. i am still trying to work out the best position for this. i think kneeling up works best. i get a little light headed but i am sure it will get easier as my focus on Daddy improves. Or maybe not i am highly aroused after corner time all the bloody flowing to my naughty places. In the kneeling position i had trouble not drifting into fantasy about caressing Daddy in his naughty places with my mouth.

i am stressed for Daddy today. i want to hold him so much. He doesn't want me to stress for him but i am very protective and i don't want Daddy to hurt even a little. i wish i could do more to make him feel better.

Don't just perve at us - if you have any sense of connection or reality about you. Say hi, stop wanking or fantasising for just a moment and realise life is passing you by. It doesn't have to be a fantasy. You can wake up from you dream and reaLise, were real. Were caring. And you can benefit so so much from a little hello xx lol. Dare u ;)

Just a quick update Daddy wanted me to work out when the last time i had an orgasm was. It was on the 26 th of November. That was 12 days ago! i had to use Daddy's memory to help me remember. it feel like a life time ago. i feel so close to Daddy. i can wait for Daddy to use me in person. i am still at a 9 from this morning.

i am sitting here super hungry. Waiting for my beloved to give me permission to eat. He wants me to eat every three hours but then he disappears. poor tummy :( poor busy Daddy and his needy slut. i love him so much.

i am also due to meet my friends shortly and i don't dare leave the apartment with out his ok. He graciously allowed me to spend time with them today. i don't dare move till he gives the ok.

TEASES

Daddy loves me so much. He just texted we had a lovely conversation. He demanded my adoration. I was a little flustered he has been on my mind since his absence. I have been sending so much love to him.

Daddy controls my orgasms but he also controls my arousal. he has a rating system 1 to 10. Where one 1 is comatose and 10 is on the brink of orgasm. Daddy asked me to get to a ten with out touching. i as already at an 8 from the pure lust and joy from hearing from Daddy. He asked me to get to a ten with out touching. i was a little surprised. As i have expressed before stress gets me super horny, so i asked Daddy about something that had been concerning me. It was far more confrontational than i ever am with Daddy but i knew the stress of asking such a personal question would push my rating up. Daddy reminded me of my devotion. I worry sometimes he thinks my questions mean i don't love him with my whole heart.

When I got to ten using the magic of stressing myself out. Daddy pushed me to places beyond the ten. I started writhing around the bed moaning and making the most ridiculous noises the wetness between my legs grows, my nipples are hard, my cheeks flushed, and toes curled. I am beyond ready to cum. My whole body feels like clit. It is wonderful and painful. I know Daddy won't let me cum. Worse yet I suspected he'd ring any minute and ask if I want to hear him cum or if i should cum. Only one of us can cum. i will chose him cumming. i chose him every time. i get the privilege of hearing him cum. Hearing him orgasm has nearly destroys me. i have to use all my will power not cum at the sound of his orgasm, is the sound of pure bliss and my body tries to join in. Daddy threw me a curve ball and sent me off to write about my devotion and experience of his control of my arousal.

i need Daddy inside me. It hurts so much. It would make Daddy happy if more of you subscribed to my journal or added me to your favorites. He says that he will let y'all listen when he finally does let me cum. i need some of you on my side... Maybe you can appeal to Daddy to allow me an orgasm. i am in so much pain. i love you Daddy xxxx

today's number is still 90 sigh

my body is so sore from all of the exercise. I am inhaling Magnesium supplements. The soreness feels good it is all part of my devotion to Daddy. I finally heard from the Daddy this morning. A huge weight was lifted from my heart and i knew he was safe and ok. i really couldn't handle not knowing if he was alright. i was really struggling. He seems ok. I hope it will be much better soon.

Daddy reminded me that the forced nipple play was still in place. i have been a good and have been sucking on my nipples every morning. i haven't mentioned it recently because it has been making me feel kind of bratty and i don't like being bratty.(no offense to the brats out there. it just doesn't sit well with who i am as a person.) Basically it has been quite a struggle with Daddy's absence and all the stress of worrying about Daddy.  When i am done all I want to do is reach for Daddy's clit. It has been forever since i have orgasmed.  This from a girl who would cum 20 times in a day if she was feeling particularly stressed. i am proud of myself for not touching Daddy's property. Not to be big headed or anything it has just been really hard.

i am still grounded. I need to think of an excuse to tell my friends about tonight??? i am drawing a bit of a blank since i was one of the original instigators. i will think of something? Any ideas are welcomed? seriously i am a terrible liar. i will love my Daddy and will do as he instructs.

WORRIES

Daddy and i are having technology problems. i am feeling so frustrated that i can not give him the love and care he needs right now. i am worried about the details of the situation and what is happening with Daddy's heart. Stressful times can cause so many problems. i have some silly fears about Daddy not feeling my love and seeking it else where :(. i hope we work out a way to communicate soon.

i have been the best i can be while he is coping with with this dreadful occurrence.  i am applying for jobs and following daddy's exercise and play regime. i am sitting at home on Saturday night because i am unsure if i am grounded or not. i will have a fun night of cleaning the apartment top to bottom :(

i wish i was nearer to Daddy so he could take out his stress on my body. He could hurt me to release some of the stress of the day. i also just wish i was there to reassure him that no matter what happens he will be ok. he amazes me every day. i have been sending him so much love. i think Daddy will be happy for 2014. It sounds like 2013 has been filled with DRAMA. it will be a good year for a fresh start :)

i hope Daddy knows i love him and my soul longs to speak to his. i want to make it better for Daddy. i want to protect him from the situation he is dealing with. i hope he is aware of his magnificent value. as obnoxious as this sounds i just want to remind him that this too shall pass :P

Poor Daddy what  a dreadful week.

The number is still 90 kg. Some of you have expressed concern about me weighing myself daily. I understand weight fluctuates and i probably should lose more than a kilo a week. Daddy has given me this tasks because it humiliates me. i am ok because i have Daddy's arms to fall into when it all gets too much. He motivates and supports and makes me face the things i feel shameful about. i hope i am explaining this clearly.

Daddy is still very busy with the thing that was stressing him. i MISS HIM SO MUCH! lol it kind of seems silly. i know he is there and i am trying to send him supportive happy texts. i have been following his rules even the really hard ones. i find being hungry and horny a lot harder with out his presence. like the void that needs filling is so much larger with out him teasing me.

i also suspect i am still grounded and i want to ask permission to go out with friends tomorrow. i don't want to accidentally brake the rules but our contact at the moment is minimal. God i miss him. i want to be the ear he vents to... i miss his voice. i know he is still here and the better i can be as a slave to him the more he will feel my love. Daddy i hope you are ok.

Today's number is 90kg, so that is an improvement kudos to Daddy. such a clever man

The good news is Daddy is alive. The bad news is Daddy seems stressed :(

i always want to try and make it better for him but i really don't know how. i suppose being an obedient good little girl will help. i care for him so much i want to protect him. Daddy has given me the responsibility of food today. i will make him proud and follow his rules. i wish i was more eloquent at how much i love him. His silence last night was tearing at my soul a bit it was hard to sleep. i was worrying so much. i want the best for him. i will work on being my best self for him. i really wish i could express this feeling of love and worship better.

I miss Daddy

Daddy was very generous with me tonight. He let me not be grounded for the evening so i could spend time with my buddy. My Master was impressed with my acceptance of my punishments and shared his heart with me this afternoon. i miss him terribly. i feel so privileged for his openness.

i am wondering if we are having one of our troubles with technology this evening. Or perhaps Daddy is having fun with friends or is busy. My Beloved sounded like there was a lot of weight on is strong shoulders this avo, so i am a little worried for his love encompassing heart. I am sending love his way even if he isn't seeing the verbalization.

i am also terribly horny for my Daddy. He play with his clit this avo, telling his baby girl his fantasies but of course there was no orgasm. I see you peering at this profile, Daddy said if 10 of you chime in he might consider allowing me an orgasm. Its been so long. I just want to curl up next to Daddy and please him.

I love my Daddy so much I am trying not worry about his absence this evening. I hope everything is ok, or even fun. i love him so much, it's comical about how much the longing hurts sometimes.

Daddy I am sorry to report the number is still 91kg  

I adore you and I hate disappointing you. We are working so hard to get me into shape. I find it so confronting hopping on the scales every day. It reminds me of past obsession and I feel fear. I get on the scale for you. I go to the scary parts of the gym for you. Please don't doubt how my love and devotion. I am here for you and I doing for you.

slut loves you with her whole heart.

DISCIPLINE DAY

Today Daddy has been disciplining his slut. she was very naughty yesterday. she did not do the task Daddy set for her and she was very resistant about doing a task for today. she knows better than  to question her Daddy's instructions. she loves him with her whole heart. she feels particularly bad for causing Daddy stress on an already stressful day.

So today Daddy started a knew routine for his slut. He made sure his slut was out of bed by 7 after her forced nipple play. Poor slut gets so wet with no hope of orgasm in sight. He made her write in CM and then she was straight to the ocean for swim. In normal circumstance slut would have been a scared of the ocean it was pretty rough and slut took a beating for half an hour.  When slut got home Daddy told her she was to post her weight every morning on CM. Daddy is working his slut very hard so she loses weight. today's icky humiliating number is 91. she has the utmost gratitude for Daddy's strict rules. He is changing her life for the better.

Daddy then set slut a goal to apply for 5 jobs before she could eat breakfast. Slut would have to ask before she could eat anything. silly bitch was very slow at applying for jobs. Daddy was so gracious and let her eat before she finished. Daddy made slut finish applying for jobs. There was miscommunication when slut became stressed and forgot to reply to Daddy's text. slut misread and did not see Daddy had told her to clamp he nipples. Daddy rang her and made her wear the clamps to work. slut was in massive amounts of pain every step was excruciating. Worst of all on the way to work slut bumped into an acquaintance and was trying hard to be polite while wincing through the pain. After an hour Daddy was benevolent and let her take off the clamps. She screamed blue murder and was grateful toward her Master.

Daddy also set slut the task of spending 30 min on the stationary bike and 30 min on the elliptical this avo. slut was scared she does not like those rooms in the gym. she is intimidated by all of the people who look like ken and barbie dolls. but slut went, and sweated lots. now slut is sore and applying for jobs. she wants to worship he Master. she misses him. she adores his wisdom and strictness.

HORNY

slut is so horny for Daddy. After the forced nipple play this morning sluts thighs are wet and hercheeks are flushed and she needs to feel complete. Daddy is not letting her play after yesterday's indiscretions.  Daddy say if 10 of you email him and ask he might let me play. slut really needs him. she needs to feel him to have the release of love she feels when  she plays with Daddy.

Please people, take pity on me - help me convince Daddy. slut needs to orgasm like the bitch she is. Daddy has taken all of sluts ways of hiding from the world.

Welcome to everyone subscribing to our journal and adding us as favs. Nice to share our journey with you. I'm the boss, the Master and alpha in this relationship. I set the standards with this little girl and the pace of her learning. She's a beautiful little soul but one that craves my attention and detail to her life. Connection and creativity rule out worlds - no, I rule them-they come second. Lol... Were based in Mel and use our beach apartment in Sydney. Life is amazing for us and we are looking to include a sub girl if she matches my standards. Otherwise if your a fun loving couple - we'd love you to stop by and say hi. Life for us is about the memories created and those you choose to include. We don't like rude or arrogant - we love adventure and ideas, also play time and beach time. I believe you were created great, so be great. xx now think of a number between 1 and 10. Add your area code. Subtract your age. Add some common sense. What are you even doing with your life? Lol, messages us

Naughty Slave

Daddy's slut was disobedient today. she did not look for work and Daddy told her off. He clamped her nipples and clit and made he look up punishments for slave. He made her find 12 before he put her in  the corner pressed up against the wall. He left her there for quite some time. She realized how silly she was for avoiding the immediate fear of rejection from employers she had disappointed her Daddy which filled her shame.

Daddy made her write lines to show appreciation for Daddy and to show remorse for her actions. Daddy then discussed with her what her goal were for finding work. he made a decision for her which she did not like at all. she is still struggling with it. it feels like Daddy put a noose around her neck. she is so scared she will disappoint Daddy again. How will she be able to do this thing. it hurts her heart and yet she know it will hurt more if she disobeys Daddy. she wants to make him change his mind but he is set so she will do this thing that feel like self harm.  it feels so humiliating.

she so sorry for what she has done but does not know how she will push through all of this anxiety. she think it will swallow her. Daddy is protecting her. she know she needs to make Daddy proud.....

She is Daddy's she must remember that. She to do his will even though it is difficult.

Orgasm Denial

My Daddy has claimed His sluts orgasms. she is his it only makes sense He controls when his slut feels pleasure. This was very difficult for his slut. she was very used to cumming at the drop of a hat. The pleasure of orgasm was the way she would quiet her anxious soul every time things became too much. It was not good for her but it was how she knew how to cope.

Daddy has not let his slut cum for a very long time. she thinks it was sometime last week. she really can't remember. it has hurt a lot... Daddy also likes to tease his slut. He makes her play with herself touch till she is on the brink of orgasm and he makes her stay there for what seems like eternity and then he tells his bitch she is not allowed cum. It hurts so much but it binds his slut closer to him. she adores him for this pain. Her body has take to shaking uncontrollably with the slightest touch of her clit or nipples.

Daddy also has taught his slut how to use parts of her body she did not know how to use. His baby didn't know pleasure from her nipples before Daddy. people would touch sluts nipples and it would be painful. In the time during the orgasm denial Daddy made baby's nipples feel divine. Just about anything Daddy sets for his slut sends her to the edge of orgasm.

Daddy is teasing his slut by making her suck on her nipples first thing in the morning. Morning is when she is horniest. Her nipples make her cunt so wet a puddle form on the bed and her hips can help but thrust into the air. she makes the most silly noises and is flushed. she needs her Daddy to fill her. it hurts so much, she can't think straight and has a hard time moving for quite some time after. Her body twitches even though nothing is touching her. she is so filled with love for her Daddy she wants to do anything to please him. she loves her God and cherishes him. she needs him with every fibre of her being.

Total Control 

Yesterday morning Daddy took total control of me. It was very beautiful. Daddy told me i was not allowed to do anything with out his permission. i was to plan ahead because Daddy was only going to respond when it was convenient for him. He set me the task of writing our profile. He talked me through how i was to ask.  

He said that if i was not allowed to go to another room with out his permission. If i went to another room then i was to stay there until i had permission to go somewhere else.   i felt such a sense of calm when in Daddy's complete control. My heart was at home. i had no choice. I was his to do his bidding. i became more and more aroused by Daddy's control. i was in a zen like state while Daddy took control. I was at one with my god.

When Daddy released me from this state. i was very confused and muddled. i didn't know what to do with myself. i knew what i was supposed to do. some i felt less capable. Nothing had changed but i needed to take responsibility for myself. i knew that taking responsibility for myself would please Daddy but it seemed so much harder with out his firm grip. i finished my current task but then i had a huge wave of exhaustion. i had a short nap. i found more inspiration in Daddy's kind words and support. i restarted the important  task Daddy had set me previously.   i love and worship my Master.