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Male Dominant, 25, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
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Male Submissive, 40
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Submissive Couple, 45, Simi Valley, California
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About princeofroma
I am a 45 years old Dom, work in the field of international relations, currently in Japan, at least for the coming 3 years, and I am separated.
to say a bit about myself (in a non conventional way):
many of those I talked to during the past few years believe that the Master should be without emotions toward his sub except maybe anger if she did something wrong and ofcourse pleasure if she pleased him to his satisfaction, they feel emotions reflect weakness and will not be appreciated by a sub, (Dom should be as cold as steel).
Of course the above two emotions are the rights of the Master, and he must control the rest of his feelings during the scene, as he should control his sub, but without genuinely having the other feelings present even if they were hidden, I feel this becomes closer to abuse rather than BDSM. I am talking about things such as compassion, sympathy, care, those and others help me stop from crossing the line. and make me do what I desire to my sub, while having her limits soft and hard always present to help me direct where I want to go, of course some limits must be from time to time tested to be advanced but that must be strictly consensual. To me the difference between the actions of real self respecting Doms and those who pretend to be is a thin line , same like the one between genius and insanity.
I guess not many like my way of thinking, but I believe relationships between partners need some level of emotions, they start by knowing each other leading to affection and like, after that they move to a higher plane where she starts giving him everything she wants him to have including her power and submission, and trust him with her life and sanity, to become what completes him, while having their ultimate desires and passions fulfilled in a way no vanilla will ever understand no matter what he or she pretend to.
BDSM to me is an expression of ultra feelings and passions , ones that cannot be expressed through vanilla life, or social codes. unfortunately some think being a Dom is easy because they inflict the pain and do the humiliation and the "abuse", maybe this is the main reason why many sick wannabes present themselves as Doms and seek subs to have a sex toy to their fantasies without caring that the subs are in most cases hurtable and willing to take great risks to their bodies and souls because they have the role of receiving physical and emotional "abuse". The play itself is understandable same like the affairs of vanilla couples, or a deep needed desire urging to be fulfilled, but unlike the occasional bad outcomes of vanilla play which are mostly disappointments if necessary STD precautions were observed, the bad outcomes of our lifestyle could be traumatic long term damages especially to the subs,
I believe power exchange is emotional rather than physical, it is built on a very rare commodity called total trust and for it to be stronger and more genuine the mutual feelings have to be as strong and in sync. if anyone would trust me with her life like a sub do, I have to be totally honest with her, even if I risk losing her or being seen uninteresting. Trust is built on honesty not wishful thinking and empty hopes. No one would give anyone a more precious gift like the one the sub gives her master, and the appreciation of the Dom should be similar to the gift. she needs to believe that if she jumped from the sky with her eyes tight shut and arms wide open, her Master will never allow her to crash.
Finally the sub is and will always be a person to me. I am sorry if there are wannabes who sometimes lose perspective and convince themselves that she is no more than an object they own, just because she wants to be treated that way.
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