So, I was about to make a really ecstatic post about how great my pre-bedtime was. I shaved my legs with a fresh razor for the first time in eons in a shower that actually stayed hot the whole time with my brand new intense conditioner... But instead as I was toweling off and putting lotion on my now super smooth legs I was attacked by the largest cockroach yet. So, I went from extremely relaxed and happy, to stressed and pissed again... That lasted a long time! SIGH!

I really miss having someone to take care of me. No, I do not mean a sugar daddy (not that I would say no to that :P), but someone to come home to, to curl up in their arms when the day is too much for me... To reassure me and comfort me.

Everything is catching up to me and its all becoming far too much for me to handle on my own without a little support.

My tits are completely bruised and there is a handprint on my ass. Sure my workwear options have been limited, but godammit am I HAPPY!

It has been raining ALL day and I have the ridiculous desire to go for a stroll... And maybe a fuck.... In the rain. I really wish I still had someone to do these things with still.

Or even just someone to lay in bed and listen to the rainfall with.

Ok. Girl moment over. Someone please spank me. :P

Ever have the real-life version of a fantasy just completely underwhelm you?

Tonight I fucked my current go-to fwb in the park in the rain. It had some of my favorite turn-ons: exhibitionism, fresh grass and rain, yet was thoroughly underwhelming. This is not my first time with this fantasy, but it is usually such a turn on for me. I think part of the problem was how contrived it was, usually exhibitionism is all about the heat of the moment for me but it was something he had REALLY wanted to do. I think the other problem was how much HE had been looking forward to it, which led to a longevity issue. At least he attempted to make it up with some champion pussy eating in the rain... Is there anything better than lying in the grass under a tree, being eaten out while it softly rains around you?

Ordered off work by the doctor for a few days and therefore in serious need of some amusement!

And..... GO!

Life is really kicking my ass again of late, not that it ever stopped, and my nomad side is starting to lace up her running shoes. I can't really afford the stress, both mental and financial, of starting up fresh again but am not really sure that I can take much more....

I think it would help if I stopped injuring myself and then being treated like shit for it at work... :P

I love my alone time, solitude doesn't usually bother me, in fact I tend to find solace in it. However, tonight I find myself feeling profoundly lonely. I have no one to talk to, none of my friends are online, and there is no one's arms to curl up in.

So, I just need to vent, feel free to ignore me!

I really wish I had free range to take my flogger to those who really need it. Apparently my manager is even worse at scheduling than I previously thought, and I didn't think much of her skills in that department to begin with. I already thought it was weird that after my weekend off for the wedding I worked this holiday Monday and then was only off Tuesday before a rather lenghty stretch, but apparently she finally realized that as a full-time staff member I can't work more than 32 hours this week so she took me off the schedule for the day and told NO ONE! Not even the staff member who was nice enough to offer me a ride since the buses aren't running due to the holiday and whose schedule was also changed for the day. ARRGH!

Who the hell does a girl not interested in traditional dating or relationships and is currently very single take to the first of her best friends' weddings!?!?!?!

I will take any and all suggestions... Except weird offers from utter strangers!!!

HALP!!

How can someone call themselves a Dom if they can't respect limits. This lifestyle doesn't work without trust, trust that things won't go farther than you can handle being paramount.

I realize that I have very different limits from most with sub tendencies. For example, I am an absolute no anal girl! Rare in this realm, I know, but I have never enjoyed it or been able to get past the initial phase of things. I've always been willing to try again for a new partner that I TRUST. But when again and again so called Doms break that trust, how am I supposed to trust someone new enough to try again, to try and please them.

This is an old issue for me, brought up by a conversation with a friend, and while I may be on the cusp of something new and potentially very special it is always going to be a sticking point with me.

As always, I would love any and all respectful comments, questions or feedback you may have.
:)

Night kinky friends!

(PS... I hope the person on the cusp is a REAL dom... :) )

I may have found my ideal Dom/ sub situation:

http://www.redtube.com/71318

There is something about the relationship between these two that makes me seriously lust after life as 24/7 collared sub. She is a bit of a brat, much like myself, and all but throws herself at His feet to get His attention. When he does finally turn His attention to her He is firm and forceful but also takes the time to be soft and sweet. He whispers assurances in her ear to calm her and maintain her subspace... Aside from all the spitting, you can see how calm and comfortable she feels with Him, but that she also knows her place. She serves Him and He cares for her and pleasures her.

I have been thinking more and more about my pursuit of kink. Or rather, lack thereof. I have been very uninvolved in the lifestyle of late, the joys of monogamy (:P). Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend, he's just the bedroom bondage sort, which can be limiting for me at times. I can't go as far as I would like when I'm in Domme-mode and he's not as into the mental torture and denial when I am having a Sub day.

One thing I really miss is having a DaddyDom. The control, while still being nurtured has a huge draw for me. There is something so comforting in that style of relationship. There is control, denial, spanking, all my favorite BDSM things as well as the comforting affection of a Daddy-figure. I also miss being Mistress to a sweet little puppy-sub, so much fun! I love the more playful aspects of the lifestyle. What could be more fun that a little TICKLE TORTURE!