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MsDawn1961
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When it comes down to it, I'm looking less for a Mistress than a girlfriend who happens to be kinky, leaning dominant/toppish. Major requirements: A great, if somewhat skewed, sense of humor; an appreciation for at least some geeky kind of stuff (computer games, science fiction books, superhero movies, endless anecdotes concerning Isaac Asimov and the Marx Brothers); a willingness, preferably an eagerness, to tie me up and do wonderfully horrible things to me on a reasonably regular basis; a tolerance for my singing along with the car stereo (Beatles, other classic rock, assorted 80's new wave, Weird Al Yankovic, and now and then, just to be different, Johnny Cash or John Denver) -- joining in is a plus; an acceptance of the fact that I like to dress up like a girl sometimes; and preferably, a wilingness to dress up like a girl now and then yourself.
And if you don't already like the writings of Christopher Moore, you will learn....you will learn....
You want to know more about me? Well, don't take my word for it. Here's what some of my friends have to say:
"Rob is kind and loyal, able
to offer sympathy and support,
dependable and true. There is
not a single 'phony' bone in this
man's body or soul. His integrity
is unquestioned."
-
"I hate to say Rob's a great guy, because it sounds so cliche. But, honestly, he is. He's got a great sense of humor, very intelligent, and one of my favorite people to be around.
He's also as dependable as they come. He's really a terrific friend, and I'd say anyone would be lucky to have him!
On the down side, he's pretty tall, and I hate that about him. He also mixes sweetners, which drives me totally insane. Anyone else I would have cast to the roadside, but because he's such a great guy, I overlook these critical faults."
--MY
"Having known Rob for most of his life, I know that everyone will probably mention his wonderful sense of humor, and his high intelligence. What is less obvious is that he stands by his friends, even to the point of tactfully telling them the truths they don't want to hear but must hear. If you need him, he will be there for you. And, unlike many bright people, Rob uses that fine mind; he reads as much as anyone else I know, and in a broad area rather than a narrow one. He cares passionately about politics and government without being an extremist, and he is in touch with much of popular culture. Yet despite all of this, he cannot be complete of himself; he needs people, and he needs a woman to love him. He's a complex man with a lot to explore, and he is absolutely worthy of your time."
--SN
OK, being friends, perhaps they're being too nice. But hey, I have friends willing to be that nice! That's gotta say something....
What I am ultimately seeking is a woman I can share my entire life with -- to enjoy the good times, and to help each other through the bad. I like fun and laughter and music, but underneath I'm a pretty serious person who sometimes struggles with the fact that life can be so, well, difficult. For example: Everyone wants love -- so why is it so hard to find?
Of course, I want kinky fun, too. Ideally I'd like to find someone whose kinks are reasonably compatible with mine -- the overlap need not be 100% or even close to it, but somewhere on the same page would be good. I'm open to most new things -- I think my only real super-hard limits are most kinds of breath play, and scat -- though there are a number of things which I'm sure I would shy away from at first mention, but think I might be willing to try someday, once I've established the right level of trust in the person.
My major kink, however, is bondage -- I would like to explore and experience it in many different ways. Preferably before I get much older.
I should also mention that I am a cross-dresser. I immediately feel obliged to say that this doesn't mean I will demand forced feminization/sissy maid training -- in fact, my femme alter ego doesn't necessarily have to be involved in our kinky play at all (though if you're open to that, it's surely a plus) -- but she's not going away, either. My feminine side is a large enough part of me that I can't imagine really being in love with someone who couldn't at least accept, and preferably embrace, that side of me.
Anyhow. If you're someone who enjoys good conversation, oddball comedy shows (current favorite: "My Name is Earl" -- just brilliant!), singing along with the car stereo, films, steak, ice cream, foot massages, and keeping a guy tied up in bed while you read or watch TV and decide what you're going to do with him -- let's talk!
If you don't think we'd make a good couple, but still could use someone to practice bondage on, or want a loyal and respectful serving wench for your next trip to the RenFaire, or think I might just be fun to hang around with sometime -- drop me a note anyway. More friends would be cool. And until I find the woman-of-my-dreams, play partners would be good too. (Once I DO find her, then you'd have to ask her for permission, of course....)
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Behind me, my hosuemates are watching He’s Just Not That Into You.
(I would probably be watching it with them, except I was in the middle
of something when it started, so I decided to forget it.) The female
one of the two has seen the film before, and says there are a lot of
truisms about relationships in it.
Perhaps so, but I suspect
that it would have moved me to frustration. I’m basing this mainly on
my other similar films and stories.
Why? Well, to start with, I
just plain don’t know people like that. Maybe it’s a factor partly of
being older, but I don’t think I ever did, even in my twenties. What do
I mean by “people like that”? Well, for one thing, women who are really
all that concerned with how they look in general, and trying to look
attractive to guys in particular. Oh, sure, just about all the women I
know have some concern with
their looks. But not to the point where they really seem moved to do
much about it. Hell, of my female friends, I can only think of one who
wears make-up regularly – and several who never do. The women I know
don’t have closets full of shoes. They often are trying to lose weight,
but entirely for themselves, not because they’re particularly worried
about how their appearance might affect their odds of getting into, or
maintaining, a relationship.
Not that they should
be, mind. Just that it immediately creates a disconnect between these
films and reality. And between reality and reality, for that matter;
when I see women dressed up to go out, or wearing high heels when they
don't absolutely have to, or who seem to be able to show a little
cleavage without enormous self-consciousness -- they don't seem like
real people to me. Sometimes I think they're just models hired to be in
the background in the film of my life, but not actual characters in it.
Then there’s the fact that the films often focus on the lack of
communications in a relationship. Both the men and women are typically
guilty of this – the women expect men to magically understand their
feelings and subtle hints. But they guys often don’t communicate at
all, and certainly don’t talk about their deeper feelings. They seem to
try to hide that they have much in the way of feelings at all. And
they’re almost invariably afraid of commitment.
This I don’t
understand at all. I am pretty obvious about the fact that I have
feelings. I am not at all reluctant to talk about them; I am usually as
honest as I can be about them. I am anxious, too, for the communication
to go both ways: I want to know how she feels, what she’s dissatisfied
with, and what she’s happy about; the former so I can be aware of areas
that may need to be worked on, and the latter to boost my sense of
security about the whole thing. And, while I am a little baffled at
people who get into serious relationships too fast – the people who
marry when they’ve only known each other a few months – there’s no
question but that my long-term goal is a committed relationship.
So all this should result in women clamoring for my attentions, right? Bzzzzzt! Perhaps it’s not for those reasons, but it’s been over twenty years since I felt a woman had any
interest in me, romantically or sexually. Maybe I’m oblivious, but you
would think that if so, somewhere in that time someone would have
dropped a hint even I couldn’t miss, or that I might have been informed
by a third party.
Next, there’s the area where my current
frustrations are focused: that the characters in these films are, most
likely, not people in my economic situation. Maybe they have financial
trouble, but it’s clear it’s a temporary setback: there’s some kind of
career goal, or direction. (And even the “poor” ones can somehow afford
to buy drinks in a bar…) If there is a guy in the story who is out of
work and directionless, he’s probably there specifically to be the
loser – and quite possibly the one who is playing games to get the
woman to mostly support him.
As someone who is approaching 50 and still
has no idea what he wants to be when he grows up – and as someone who
currently has no income and a lot of bills, and thus is having trouble
scrounging up the cash to even survive, let alone date or even have a
lot of fun – it’s pretty damn discouraging. It is, to be sure, probably
realistic. God knows that when women get a hint of my situation, any
chance of ever building up to dating goes right out the window. My
therapist keeps telling me that I have a “lot to offer” to the right
woman; maybe I’m too cynical, but I’m finding that pretty damned hard
to believe. And when I recently tried an experiment of getting friends
to come up with things they could say about me that I could quote on a
personals site – things that would be honest, but positive – I can’t
help but feel it’s significant that all the male friends managed to
come up with something, but from the females came dead silence.
Part of the problem, I think – and another reason that I find these
films hard to identify with – is that I seem approach the whole
question of relationships backwards from how other people do. This is
why I would think personals websites would perhaps be the best approach
for me to take: I want to make clear what I am like and what kind of
things I am looking for in a relationship, and then search for someone
whose interests and goals in that area are compatible. The “intangible”
aspects – appearance, chemistry, things like that – come afterwards. I
can’t say that such things don’t matter to me at all; there are women
out there whose intellect and personality would work with mine, but
where I just can’t imagine developing a physical attraction. Perhaps it
is just because I’m an unusual case in the first place; but the odds
are much better of me finding a particular woman attractive – or at
least in the range where I know I could easily learn to find her
attractive – than they are of finding an attractive woman to be
compatible.
Other people seem (at least in the movies, but I think it’s largely true in real life as well) seem much more prone to start
with looks and chemistry and similar things. They meet, they each like
the way the other looks, they flirt and banter, and proceed to dating –
and then they start to learn about each other. (There's the side issue
of people who feel "weird" about the idea of dating someone with whom
they've become friends. For me, this is also backwards: if I like a
woman well enough to consider her a friend, and if I find her at all
physically attractive -- and I almost always do -- then of course I
would at least consider dating her; though I might well decide it's a bad idea when I look at all the factors.)
I find this totally perplexing. Sure, I see some very nice-looking
women out there – not just the drop-dead gorgeous ones, but some who
just have some kind of down-to-earth attractive vibe. But the notion of
wanting to spend time with her just
because she looks good is a little baffling. I’m well aware I just
don’t have that much in common with the majority of people. I want to
know before I go out with someone that we’re going to have something to
talk about.
Anyhow…the basic thing is, I just plain don’t get
it. I don’t understand how people get into relationships – particularly
people past, say, the early twenties, when the hormones settle down a
bit and people start being a little more realistic. I don’t understand
why people stay in relationships with people they can’t have honest,
open communications with. And I don’t quite understand what is so
obviously wrong with me that I seem to put off women right from the
start.
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Well, a new profile. Let's see how it does.
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My principal kinky interests:
Bondage.
Let's put the "B" back in BDSM! What can I say? I love being tied up! I
am looking for a partner who enjoys restraining me, sometimes very
strictly, and sometimes for prolonged periods. Of course I enjoy having
interesting things happening to me while I'm bound, but it can be an
end in itself, too.
Submission. This takes several
forms for me. One is simply getting off on being given orders -- I can
recall a few occasions when women simply told me "You're doing this
now," and it was very hot. I prefer a Dominant who is in firm, confident
control -- who doesn't shout or threaten, just gives orders with the
knowledge that I will obey. I like someone who wants to get to know me
and explore my wants and needs and limits -- but once we begin to play,
I want her to be in charge, not asking me what I want to do. (I would
want to play with a safeword and would expect my limits to be respected
-- though I would hope in the long run, some of them might be stretched
a bit.)
That's one level. Another is that I have found in other
areas of life that I feel comfortable in subordinate positions. I like
making someone's life or job easier. I like being listened to and
respected, but I don't mind at all letting someone else make the final
decisions, and then carrying them out faithfully, even when they were
contrary to my own suggestions. I could imagine a relationship working
like this: with a woman who did love and respect me, enjoyed my company
and sought my views, sometimes even went out of her way to fulfill my
wants and needs -- but where the relationship was centered around her
priorities, and where she held the power of decision-making in most
matters. (Sometimes I think I'd have made a good old-fashioned
housewife....)
Pain.
I've always enjoyed a little spanking and such, but I never thought of
myself as that into pain. Last year, however, I had a fairly intense
experience that made me rethink this a bit; I was "high" on it for
weeks. Now I think I would like to explore this further, and see where
my threshold lies, and whether regular corporal discipline would make
me a more fulfilled person. Interests include spanking, cropping,
flogging, hot wax, electrical play, and CBT.
Cross-Dressing.
I have a feminine side that I like to express occasionally. Usually
this has been in vanilla and non-sexual contexts, but ideally I would
like to include it in any BDSM relationship. I have an open mind on
exactly how: it could be in the traditional "forced fem"/sissy maid
sort of context; it could involve treating me just as you would a
female submissive (as far as is anatomically possible, of course); it
could be used as a form of reward, or as a means of behavior
modification (I am fascinated with the idea of being turned into the
woman you want me to be); it
could be strictly a matter of role-playing. Or it could be any
combination of these or other possibilities, depending upon your mood.
Pony/Puppy play.
I've been enthralled by the notion of pony play for years now; I like
the bondage aspect, the role play aspect, the way it could be used as a
means to revert to base emotions and leave the intellect behind. I like
the idea of being trained in the way an animal would be; I want to get
into the pony "headspace" as far as possible. Pony play, however, does
tend to require a fair amount of equipment and an appropriate venue,
which can be hard to come by; it might also frankly be more of a
physical strain than I am comfortable with. Perhaps because of these
considerations, lately I've been thinking more about puppy play. I
would love to find someone who would let me be her dog for a few hours,
a day, perhaps a weekend now and then (even if we weren't a good match
in other areas). Exact terms of play are negotiable. (In fact, since I
envision the play as not being directly sexual, it's one form for which
I would consider a couple or TG/CD as a partner.)
Teasing and Denial.
There's nothing I can think of that I love more than a woman tying me
up and seeing just how long she can keep me aroused without letting me
have an orgasm. There's not much she couldn't get me to promise under
the right type of this form of "torture..." In the longer run, I am
intrigued by the idea of enforced chastity. In one fantasy, I imagine a
woman has locked me in a device that keeps me "tucked" so that I cannot
have an erection, have to sit to pee, etc., and only lets me out when I
am bound and blindfolded, so that I never touch or even see my own
penis. That might be a bit extreme to think about early on, true. But,
you know what they say about baby steps...
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| Age: 27 |
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Hawaii |
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