pinkpassionpt

I walked into his room at his invitation, just passed the double doors, not sure what to do next.  I shuffled from one foot to the other, my hands behind my back, my head up, my eyes down, just able to see a pair of black leather boots walk towards me.  He laughed .. at my nervousness?  I wasn't sure but i couldn't help but smile at the sound of his laughter. 

His boots rapped out a melody as they circled me.  My back arched, my shoulders straightened .. my breath stopped for a moment wondering what he saw.  His fingers touched my jaw, pushing my head up.  He stood before me for awhile before he told me to look at him.  My eyes came up from the floor and rested on his.  He was beautiful.  Our eyes held for a moment before he waved me away. 

Neighbors are something that you can't avoid.  They get snapshot impressions of you and judge you based on what they perceive from those 30 seconds, or from words of gossip.  Most of the people on my block have removed themselves from the loop.  Somehow i'm in the loop, but the wild one, the one with the tatts, the one that does things differently.  Different scares these people.  I'm really happy with who i am, but sometimes i wonder what it would feel like not to be green.

keisa

Our second meeting;

He had been happy with the way my body was on our first meeting and had told me to keep it exactly that way .. Our second meeting (two days later) i had not maintained my hair.  He was surprised but was able to direct his attention to the task at hand.  He strapped me down.  He brought out his canes.  He gave me a slow, methodical caning that brought me to orgasm (maschochist) several times. 

He walked away and as a struggled to breathe and slowly float back down to earth i began to wonder where he was and how much time had passed.  My legs and arms were aching.  I was cold.  My body was shaking and wet from my many orgasms.  Somehow i began to go to sleep.

Then .. i felt the warmth of a splash of water on my pussy.  My eyes half opened, looking down.  Your eyes were bright as you looked at me.  You took a towel and soapy water and had me wet and dripping, soapy and watching you.  You took out a razer and intently began to shave the slight stubble surrounding my pussy.  My muscles tightened in my thighs, my abs, my back as i arched my back in excitement.  You finished, unstrapped me, put me on the floor and fucked me.  Over and over again, you fucked me.   

An email i received that moved me; 

let Me attempt to paint a picture with a few words, as an addendum to the laconic pic/mail sent.....

she is...His everything. muse, lover, friend, whore, little girl...and ohh so much more.

put o a pedestal perhaps...

with the wicked mind in full song...said pedestal a phallic one...she waits

his adoration gleaming as He kisses her, biting hard to bring forth a moan, as He forces her down

further spreading her open to the point of....

almostagony

off to the side sits His beloved pet..He smiles, staring at her

he knows....this love knows no bounds...as the belt caresses her swollen breasts fluidly....

her mind racing...as He enters her mouth briefly..His ache physical, yet sublimly of the mind....

the large beast stirs restlessly. awaiing his pleasure

and she knows.

 he obeys

it breathes in her...this exquisite adoringdegredation

kiss..... enjoy your day deep passionate whore.

I started out reading your email and masterbating with my fingers over that. I had 5 very quick, very deep orgasms immediately reading your words. After that, i grabbed my vibe and spread my legs very wide, running the vibrating tip over the hard tip of my clit. My triangle piercing kept getting in the way so i had to hold my lips apart so that i could run the vibe from my ass to my clit slowly, over and over again. I teased myself that way, not letting myself orgasm for at least 15 minutes. I couldn't take it longer than that. I finally clenched my pussy and orgasmed another 8 times quickly. My pussy at this point began to squirt slightly. I let myself rest for a moment, taking the vibe away and running my fingers over and over my wet pussy until i could feel myself clenching again. I continued to tease myself but only made it a few minutes before i orgasmed again, this time deeper and for a longer period of time, once, then twice, then a third time. I stopped for a moment, feeling my pussy clenching, wanting something inside. I slid two fingers inside of myself and orgasmed again, and again and again until i had another 7 orgasms, my fingers sliding in and out of my now, drenched pussy. At this point i turned over on my stomach, imagining you behind me, pulling my hair, pulling my hips up towards you as you thrust yourself inside of me. My hand slid over my clit again and had another 15 orgasms over the next 15 minutes or so. i slowly slid down from my knees back onto my stomach. 

I smiled sadly.

I hope everyone had a beautiful Thanksgiving.  :)

I have been celibate for far too long.  Sometimes it feels as though i'm ok with that.  Sometimes it feels as though i'm so not ok with that.  *deep sigh*  I am approached with so much bullshit that i'm constantly on the look out for people that are out for themselves and their own agenda's.  

I have specified multiple times that i am open to love in any of its flavors.  Honesty would have to be a must (obviously).  What is the fucking issue?  Why can't we just be honest?  So you are bi, gay, sub, dom, whatever, married .. why hide it?  There are people that are out there that are ok with that.  Go find them.  There are people that want a man that is much older or younger than i am.  Go find them.  This shouldn't be such work.  

I am open to love .. in any of it's flavors.  If you are married, gay .. whatever, as long as you are honest, i am open to love.  

Ultimately though, i want someone who is emotionally available to me.  I am emotionally available.  

So .. I have a lot to give.  I am looking for love.    Don't waste my time please.  

Passion is an amazing thing, yes?  The breath that stops then rushes out, chest rising and falling in an extreme way .. eyes fluttering, teeth biting wet lips.  Groaning to an extent that i wonder who am i?  This wild woman?  This writhing woman?  This woman who has given herself .. for a moment?  for an eternity? 

I have to wonder if anyone will ever know me as well as i know me .. as well as i want to be known .. as well i want to know them .. 

I am happy with me, but oh my God .. if ever i find .. my one .. i will give all of who i am, i will take all of who they are.  But if not .. i will be ok.  Damnit.  lol .. *sigh*

keisa

He was upstairs, i was down. I was thinking globally, politically, he .. was thinking .. i have no clue. He loved me in a way i did not understand. I loved him as i would my father. I took care of him. He .. was amazed with me. With my thoughts, my movements, my body, my mind.

I was lost. He found me. I was still lost but he roped me in so that i flowed into the abyss in a way that was not completely lost. I felt ready. I felt lonely. I needed someone deep inside of me, inside of my mind, inside of my soul, my body, my head.

I felt so ready, so available but i had no where to go. I had no one to give myself to. I am raw.

Tears can be such a release.  It's strange how they can be a such a mix of emotion .. hope, fear, regret, longing .. a release none the less. 

Fear has been such a major motivater in my life, but that has stemmed from my experiences.  Still and always i have hope.  Still and always i will be motivated by hope.  I may be hurt again, but isn't it lovely that i keep my mind, my heart, my body and my soul ready for the person that can be strong enough to see me through this darkness.  Don't get my wrong, my darkness is lovely too, but it would be amazing to every now and again, to walk, run, make love in the sunshine.

keisa

I was walking my two beautiful chow chows today and walked by a house with a dog in the yard.  My dogs don't get to interact that often with other dogs so i walked over to the fence to let them all meet.  A women flies out of her back door so fast that she falls (lmao) and walked toward us obviously yelling.  I had my ipod blaring in my ears and didn't hear a word.  I took off my earphones and asked her if she was OK.  She didn't even respond but said "Get out of here".  I thought she was talking to someone or something else so i turned to look behind me, sure i would see some animal or something.  There was nothing.  I asked her "Who .. us?"  She said "YES, get your dogs, and get out of here!"  I starred at her, shocked into immobility.  Her husband (i guess) came out and stood on their steps and pointed down the road and said (Git, git outta here!) like i was some animal that was eating their corn or something.  I pulled my dogs away and walked off. 

I have never been spoken to that way in my life.  Yes, I've had people judge me strictly from the way i look (good and bad).  Yes, i have been the recipient of racist behavior.  Yes, I've had people look at my very dark hair, my very dark eyes, my very dark skin and my tatts .. i have seen the look in their eyes as they became afraid, or wanted to distance themselves, or tried to not make judgments.  But i have never been treated as though i was some sort of wild animal that would infect their home, dog, yard. 

I am often hurt by people.  I wonder why i was made so differently but was not made strong enough to handle the ramifications of it.  There are times when i want to close the blinds, cover myself with an afghan, and just hide.  It is because of the life time of this treatment.  I sometimes just want to hide.  I guess that is when i'm feeling weak.  But really, i would have to be superman, spiderman, wonderwoman and daffy duck to be able to handle the way that people treat me. 

So .. (deep breath) i will allow myself to feel hurt, to hide .. and hopefully, be ready to stand strong again soon. 

Dreams are fascenating to me.  I have no idea what this one means, but i am glad that i had it.

I was walking along a dark road.  It was only late afternoon, but the road had huge trees on either side, almost covering the sky.  I was upset and the darkness suited me.  I thought the road was deserted and I had no fear at all as I walked hard, trying to rid myself of my angst. 

I was looking down, trudging along in my black mood when I caught the sight of headlights about a half a mile away.  I still felt no fear, but I also didn’t want any interaction with anyone.  I moved to the far side of the road and hid behind a huge tree.  A white work truck passed me without hesitation.  I began walking again.  Several minutes later I heard the sound of tires crunching on the dirt road.  I looked over my shoulder to see the same white truck coming back towards me.  I knew they had seen me and it was too late to hide again.  I still felt no fear, whether it be from my mind occupied by other things, or the fact that it was still daylight.

I stood, as they parked 20 or so feet from me.  Several dirty looking men got out.  They were silent.  The driver, a big man, dirty and sweaty walked towards me.  The other three men stood several feet away watching.  As the big man approached me he began to smile a smile that was somehow slimy.  I cringed and for the first time became afraid.

He stopped walking when he was inches from me.  I stood my ground, although I began to shake.  He looked me up and down, continuing to smile.  I was wearing cut off jean shorts and a black button down shirt knotted at my waist.  The three men behind him walked closer, also looking at me. 

The three men began to talk amongst themselves as though I was not important enough to speak to.  One said that he was going to take me first.  The others laughed and began to talk about my body.  My legs were long and tanned and one especially filthy man talked about having them wrapped around his neck as he licked me. 

The man closest to me told them to set up and keep a watch out.  They scowled as they moved away to do as they were told.  I could hear them moving so that there was a parameter around the driver and myself.  They had obviously done this before.  I could hear a couple of the men complaining that Eric’s “girls” were supposed to meet up with them on the road, so why was he bothering with me?

He seemed to be studying me.  I wondered if he saw how my mind was now torn between fear and my previous angst.  His smile had faded.  Suddenly he said, “Take off your shirt”.  My eyes opened wide as I shook my head in the negative.  He moved even closer, the nasty smile coming back to his lips as he repeated himself.  “Take off your shirt”.  My fingers shook so hard that even as they moved to unbutton the buttons, I had so much trouble with it that he sighed and gripped my collar ripping the buttons all the way down, leaving the shirt gaping.

I stood there shaking, not even thinking any more.  In an odd way, I felt myself responding.  I can’t explain it except to say that my mind was so confused, upset and just tired of my life and its situations.  I was unhappy and at the end of my tether with the circumstances of it. 

So I stood there, having no idea what would happen next, and just giving up in a way.  He watched me as I supposed my face moved from one thought to the other, as though he could read me perfectly. 

He spoke again in a deeper voice, “Take off your bra.”  I was somehow, almost shocked.  I didn’t want to take off my bra.  I was scared and in all honesty, no one had seen me naked in 4 years.  I had grown very accustomed to not being sexual, to not thinking of myself as a sexual body.  As I got lost in those thoughts he said again “Take off your bra.”  I shook as my arms went behind me, trying to unclasp the hooks yet again, unable to manage.  He watched me struggle until I got my bra undone.  I slid my arms and hands around my body, the straps of my bra tangled around them, and covered my breasts.  Surprisingly gentle, he pulled my shirt off and slid my bra away from my body.

My hands and arms moved to cover myself immediately after he removed my clothes.  He wasn’t smiling anymore.  His voice had become gravelly as he pulled my body towards him and said, “Move your hands.”  I didn’t.  He bent me slightly back, supporting my body with huge hands.  His lips moved towards my breast.  One of his hands moved up towards the nape of my neck, steadying me while the other moved towards my fingers that covered my breast, pulling them away.  His mouth immediately covered my nipple while his hand gently squeezed.  I moaned.  I couldn’t believe it, and would have given anything to have controlled it, but I moaned.  He looked up, surprised.  I could feel his erection get even bigger. 

He pulled me to the ground and began to pull off my shorts.  Now I have to say that even though I had ceased to think of myself as a sexual being, I still completely waxed my mound.  I just disliked the feeling of hair there.  And now I was embarrassed at the thought that he would see me so exposed, so I fought.  I kicked and struggled and tried to push him away.  He looked up at me, again, surprised. 

He was massive and my struggles, after his initial surprise seemed to amuse him.  There was no way I could stop him and we both knew that.  My mind began to churn.  I was not going to be raped (whether I enjoyed it or not) on the side of the road.  I had enough going on in my life as it was.  So I stopped struggling.  He said, back in that slimy way, “Here we go.” As his hands moved to my shorts again, I shoved my knee into his erection.  I couldn’t connect very hard because he was so close to me, but connect I did.  He looked more surprised than hurt, but I could tell I had hurt him. 

He backed up, holding me down with one huge hand in the middle of my stomach.  Then he got pissed.  He grabbed my struggling legs between his and pulled my shorts down roughly.  His eyes moved down my now sweaty dirt covered body.  I wasn’t trying to hide myself anymore.  I was struggling with all of my might.  My breasts were moving hard and he was obviously enjoying the sight.  His eyes fastened on my mound. He moved his legs between mine and spread my legs as far as they would go and looked more intently.   I looked down and saw that it was pink, wet and engorged.  I shut my eyes and groaned again, this time in embarrassment. 

He quickly, still starring at my pussy, tried to hold me down and unbutton his jeans.  Suddenly I heard women laughing.  Then two women came into view.  They were obviously prostitutes, his “girls” I imagine.  They stopped and took in the scene.  He had his legs between mine, spreading mine so widely apart they hurt.  I was nude and struggling, sweaty and dirty.  They actually seemed jealous.

“Eric”, one of them said, “I thought we had a date.”  “We do” he responded as he stood, putting his boot on my stomach to keep my still struggling body down.  They looked down at me again.  “How do you want it tonight honey?” the other one asked.  “Rough” he said, looking down at me.  They both laughed.  The first women said, with a pissed off look at me, “Well come on then.”  He replied “Go ahead and start with the others.”  They both looked pissed now but walked off saying “It’s your money.”

He turned back to me again.  I could see that his erection had calmed down quite a bit and couldn’t help but feel a little jealous as well.  What the hell?  Then we both heard something loud and looked up through the branches of the trees to see a helicopter flying over us.  Then his white truck pulled up.  One of his men ran out saying that the helicopter was turning back towards us.

Suddenly there was chaos.  The man that had almost raped me suddenly pulled me up and began handing me my clothes, finding my keys, shoes and sunglasses.  He said, “Hide behind those trees,  I’ll be back for you.”  They all ran into the thickness of the trees and disappeared. 

I stood there for a minute, lost.  Why did I want to obey him?  Why did I even consider his command? 

Instead I ran for his abandoned truck, got in, put it in gear and took off.  I got a few miles away before I began to wonder again what the hell I was doing with my life.                               

Today IS heaven;
Imagine if we all began to live as if this moment, this life, IS heaven.  Would we still have war?  Would we still be petty and ugly to each other?  Would we all still be monogamous?  Would we still be slutty?  Would we still be with who you're with right now?  Would you still hold a grudge, get in a bad mood, not laugh when you're caught in the rain?  Would we still be rich?  Or poor? 
We have this moment.  I am finally enjoying it, and hope you are as well.

keisa 

There is something about being a slave, while working as a professional domme, that negate each other. 
The submissives want a relationship, they want me to own them.  I enjoy playing with them, i enjoy taking them to the edge and very gently, very deliberately pushing them over.  I love it.  BUT, it is my profession, not who i am.  All the while, while i play, make them gasp, cry, writhe, i am wishing it was me in bondage, unable to stop anything or anyone from doing whatever they want.  Wanting to please to such an extent that i think other submissives feel that, connect with it and want that for themselves.
I am open to love.  I am open to relationships, to good people, to interacting with people that need this raw energy.  There will be a time, when i find the person and people that need what i need, that want what i want, that understand who i am without judging me, without being angry for one reason or another. 
I am love.  I am acceptance.  I am available and here.  There is a pleasure in this life that can't be duplicated or replicated.  There is an excitement that makes you orgasm, squirting, uncontrolled, uncontrollable, that makes you wet, ready and wanting anything and everything that i can give you.  I want that person.  I want that person that feels that.  I can and am discerning enough to pick and choose. 
So ..Love hard, even if for a short time.

keisa

I walked into the dungeon wearing thigh high boots, with 6 inch stiletto heels, a black, skin tight shirt with a deep v down to my belly button ring and a tiny purple skirt, no panties, no bra. 
I had, that day, replaced my nipple rings with hot pink titanium bars, and had just had my clit pierced, a triangle.  I walked carefully, residual pain and the feel of the piercing making me wet all day.  I could feel the ring shift as i walked.  It felt as though there were two fingers squeezing my clit constantly. 
The dungeon was packed with people.  Their clothes ran anywhere from full leather, to completely nude and everything in between.  It was eye candy in the extreme. 
I smiled as i slowly made a circuit around the entire dungeon, deciding what i wanted to do.  The music was loud and throbbing.  I subconsciously walked to the beat.  In the middle of the huge dungeon was a cage.  There were a few people beside it as i approached with a smile.  One man, shirtless, wearing only leather pants opened the cage door and held out his hand to help me in.  He closed the door behind me and took several steps back. 
I closed my eyes and began to dance in the small space, holding the bars above my head.  My shirt opened even more, revealing my breasts completely.  I kept dancing, turning, twisting, bending over, running my hands over my breasts and stomach, sliding down to my hips and thighs. 
I opened my eyes and saw that there were about 40 people surrounding the cage now, watching me quietly.  I quickly closed my eyes again, before i could become shy and continued to dance. 
My body seemed to throb with the beat of the music.  My new nipple rings and clit ring making me feel unbelievably sexy.  My long black hair fell into my face.  Tossing it back i shook it off of my face and shoulders feeling it fall across my back. 
Suddenly i felt a hand in my hair, pulling me to the corner of the cage.  Several hands reached in and began to move over my body.  My breasts were squeezed and lifted, my nipples pinched and flicked.  Hands were running up and down my long legs.  When i felt a hand slowly moving towards my pussy i pulled away, opening my eyes.  There were at least 10 people surrounding the cage, their hands reaching for me.  I smiled as i opened the cage door, walking out, without looking back, laughing to myself.

keisa

When people (bdsmer's mostly) talk about the dark side .. i wonder if they know of what they speak.  Confession; (lol) i am a catholic girl.  Catholic schools, church three times a week .. forced dogma that as an adult, i sifted through until i had my own relationship with God and religion.
I do not go to Catholic church anymore.  My belief system, through no help of anyone, is more of a Buddhist genre.  Still, i believe, that we all have a path and a purpose.  We may die, not knowing it, but there is a plan i believe. 
I have come through many crossroads in my life.  Within the past few months, i have traversed yet another.  This one is far more .. at least as important and painful as at least one other.  I have tried to bury it.  I have tried to anesthetize it.  Still it looms, and i have to deal with it. 
The crossroads lay before me.  One path or another.  There is no right one .. i think there is a smart one, an easier one .. but eventually, i will be in the place i was meant to be.  So, stumble, sometimes crawl .. cut, bruised, i will come to where i was meant to be.  Faith.  It is a powerful thing.  If i didn't have it, i wouldn't be here today.

keisa   

Someone reminded me tonight about my new years resolutions.
One of them was to kiss a man passionately.  I realized today that its been over a year since i've kissed anyone passionately.  So much for resolutions.

keisa

My stiletto's clicked on the hardwood floors rhythmically.  The lighting made my recently tanned body look even darker.  The wall was floor to ceiling mirrors with dancer poles placed sporadically.  The music throbbed loudly.  I watched myself walk slowly towards the mirror, my body wrapped in leather.  I had on tiny leather shorts, a leather halter top which squeezed my breasts up almost spilling them over the edge, and 4 inch black leather stilettos.

I had always been self conscious about my body.  I was voluptuous, i had long, long legs .. and my long black hair was almost always out of control.  Yet, i watched myself in fascination .. my long legs, suddenly looking almost animal like, as they walked seductively towards me.  My long black hair, in the lights, looked almost blue, the wild strands falling across my chest, arms, face, and back.  My breasts were, for once, being displayed, proud, suddenly happy to be a 38 DD.

The instructor showed us the moves, telling us to watch her ass, her breasts .. no shyness.  Her attitude made me brave, finally.  For 45 minutes, we learned the moves, then, she had us individually perform.  She asked for volunteers .. my hand shot out.  Surprised at myself i laughed, the sound so foreign to me.  I hadn't heard that laugh, uninhibited, free, carefree, in so long.  They laughed with me, not understanding of course, but responding to something they didn't need to understand.

The song began.  I stood in the middle of the room and slowly began to move.  I watched myself, falling in love, again, with me.  My black eyes looked huge, and innocent, yet with such a look of readiness that i knew i would masterbate as soon as i was able.  I performed the moves, watching myself, my hair flying, my eyes shining, my body writhing with the beat of the music.  The other dancers watched quietly, broken only by a sudden burst of applause when i finished.  I looked up through blue black strands of hair, surprised that i was not alone.  I had gotten so lost in me, that they ceased to exist for a few minutes in time.  I smiled shyly and moved away, my body sweaty, my pussy wet, my nipples hard.  My breath was a small pant that had more to do with excitement then exertion.

I settled in the back of the class, suddenly shy again as the other girls high fived me, as i walked passed, the instructer slapping my ass as i passed her, making me laugh again. 

The other girls performed, then we all stood in a circle, stretching, working our already sore muscles and watching each other, with smiles on our faces.  We all hugged when it was over, a few of them coming to me and chatting, asking for my email address and or phone number.

When i finally made it to the jeep, the top and windows off, i breathed in the beautiful night air.  I threw my leather bag into the back seat, buckled up and began to drive home.  I turned on a cd and floated all the way through town.  When i got home, i changed out of my still sweaty clothes and contemplated masterbating.  For some reason, i was still waiting.  I needed the night, and a conversation to begin again.

Begin again i would.  With an improved sense of self.  It is amazing to me that a few days can change things to such an extent.  I am ready for the next step, the next move, my crossroads successfully navigated. 

always keisa

I walked in, the music throbbed, Nine Inch Nails, Closer.  I found myself taking long strides as I crossed the room in my purple thigh high, 5 inch boots, my purple toy bag trailing behind me.  I felt sexy as hell.  My body was still slightly sore from my recent work outs.  My muscles ached and strained as I moved through the room.  I was in black, leather boy shorts and a black corset.

The words, ?I want to fuck you like an animal.  I want to feel you from the inside.  I want to fuck you like an animal, my whole existence is gone.  You get me closer to God? pulsed through my body.  I smiled, my eyes moving over the people in the room.  I felt animalistic tonight, almost cannibalistic.  I wanted to devour someone. 

My eyes moved towards a dark corner of the room.  There he was, my victim for tonight.  I had no idea who he was, and I didn?t give a fuck.  He was beautiful.  Dark hair, dark eyes, cut body.  He wore leather pants, boots and nothing else.  He was watching me.  I liked that. 

I walked to the cross, dropping my bag.  I looked him in the eyes and slowly  dropped to my knees, unzipping my bag.  I smiled at him before looking down, grabbing the clip that held all my floggers.  I slowly pulled it out, revealing the 10 beautifully colored floggers.  People began to gather around me.  I didn?t bother to look up.

I stood, striding over to the table beside the cross, laying the floggers out, taking them one by one out of the clip.  I ignored everyone gathering around me as I pulled out another clip which held my paddles and canes, varying colors, thicknesses and lengths.  I lay those beside the floggers.

Next I took out a clip which held scarves, purples, pinks and deep blues, long lengths of silk.   I pulled a length of purple silk off the clip and walked to the cross, running the soft silk through the steel ring on the right.  I took another purple strip of silk out, attaching it to the other side of the cross, running it through the steel ring.

I took a deep blue scarf out and lay it where the two pieces of wood met, standing back to survey my scene.  The beautiful pinks, purples, blues and blacks of my floggers, canes, and paddles, were the only pools of color in the dungeon.  The black cross, now adorned with deep purple and blue scarves made the dark corner almost look surreal. 

A dozen people had gathered around me as I had worked.  I ignored them as I turned from surveying my scene to look at him.  I had yet to say a word.  I just looked at him.  His body made a jerking motion as he began to  walk slowly towards me.  When he reached me, standing close, I leaned close to him, my body almost touching his as I said softly in his ear, ?Good boy.?  He sighed, leaning his head to my shoulder.  I smiled, closing my eyes for a moment.

 I took a deep breath as I reached my hand up to his hair.  Long, beautiful, and silky in my hand.  He almost purred.  I laughed softly as I suddenly gripped a handful and walked him to the cross. 

I turned his body around so he faced me.  We looked at each other for long moments.  His eyes were as dark as mine, almost black.  I smiled softly as I said, ?Strip.?  He complied without hesitation.  We kept eye contact as he slipped out of his pants and boots.  

His eyes told me he needed this, perhaps as much as I did.  I pushed him back against the cold cross, watching him wince as his hot body made contact.  I let my eyes leave his as I looked at his body.  He was cut, muscles convulsing with his breathing.  I looked up to see his lips parted as he began to breathe harder.  My eyes moved back down over his chest, his stomach, hips, and legs.  He was very aroused.  I smiled again as I looked back into his eyes. 

I leaned close to him again, asking, ?How long have you been hard my love??  He almost choked as he replied, ?From the moment you walked in Ms.?  I laughed as I said, ?My name is keisa.?  He nodded his head as he almost whispered to himself, ?keisa?. 

I told him to turn around, facing the cross.  He kept his body away from the cold wood.  I stood behind him, my body lightly touching his as I pushed forward slowly until his body was pressed tightly against the wood.  He almost gasped.  I gripped his right wrist, pulling it up to the ring, wrapping the scarf around his wrist tightly.  Gripping his left wrist I pulled it up to the other ring, wrapping the other scarf around his wrist. 

I pulled the third scarf from the cross, wrapping it around his chest, pulling his body away from the wood as far as his bindings would allow.  I walked to the side of him, taking a step between his legs, pulling myself under his arms and in front of him, leaning against the cross as I looked into his eyes again. 

I said, ?Your safe word tonight is pink, if I don?t hear it, I won?t stop until I?m done.  Do you understand??  He nodded slowly, almost in a daze.  He was already flying.  I smiled and said, ?Good boy.?

I took the silk that was still in my hands and looked down at his cock.  Hard, throbbing so visibly I was afraid he was going to have an orgasm.  I smiled as I took the scarf and began to wrap it tightly around his scrotum.  I wrapped it tighter and tighter until I elicited a moan.  ?That should prevent an orgasm I would imagine,?  I whispered in his ear. 

I heard a general groan from the room.  I looked up to see that more people had gathered.  There were perhaps 50 people watching now.  I smiled at the crowd as I ducked under his arms and walked to the table holding my toys. 

The music seemed to have gotten louder, throbbing music, with groaning lyrics.  I took a deep breath and picked up a pair of light floggers.  My boy was already flying, but I had no idea what his experience was.  I took a stance behind him, my body preparing itself for my scene.  My muscles tightened as I felt excitement course through my veins.

My mind emptied of everything but his body, my body, and my toys.  I began to swing.  My body vibrated with the impact the floggers had on his body.  The rhythm naturally began to mirror the beat of the music.  It was almost a dance between us.  His body responding, mine, moving with the music, the floggers flying and falling rhythmically. 

As the beat changed, I would switch from one pair of floggers to the next.  The vibrant colors flew through the air, high over our heads, landing perfectly.  I used heavier and heavier floggers, landing harder and harder.  His moans were melodious and deep. 

As the beat reached a crescendo I tossed the floggers aside, my body was dripping with sweat, as was his.  I unzipped my corset, throwing it to the side and stood against his body, my feet wide.  His back was red and welts were forming quickly.  I lay my hardened nipples against his back lightly.  He moaned almost as loudly as he had when I was using my heaviest floggers.  I smiled, closing my eyes as I pushed my breasts against his back, slowly sliding down until I was on my knees behind him.  I crawled between his legs to the front of him.  I slowly stood, letting my breasts glide over his legs, thighs, his pulsating cock.  I hesitated there as I untied the scarf from his scrotum. 

I slid the rest of the way up his body slowly, my breasts making contact with his stomach and chest.  My hair was sticking to the sweat on my face, neck, breasts and back.  I tossed it back impatiently as I looked into his eyes again.  His eyes were darker, black as he looked at me.  His lips were parted and dry.  He moaned as I leaned forward, licking his lips, moistening them, then biting them painfully.

I looked past him as I leaned forward again, whispering in his ear, ?Good boy.?  The crowd, now at least 100 people began to applaud quietly.    

How it felt ;

when you met someone, and you knew that there was a powerful physical attraction.  Then you talked to them, and you felt a very strong emotional and intellectual attraction. 
How it felt, when you knew they would touch you, when you knew, that you wanted to touch them, and wanted them to touch you?  It was only a matter of time?
Then .. there was that moment, when you were alone .. the lights were dim, or it was bright daylight.  You felt his hands, fingers, on your cheek, your chin, your neck, or your back, or waist? 
You moved closer to one another.  Your lips opened slightly.  Your eyes watched the wonder that was he.  You first felt the fullness, tasted the sweetness of his lips, his tongue. 
It was chaste .. or it was out of control, hands, arms, tongue and lips devouring. 
How it felt, to allow that.  To be open to that. 
I want that again.  I want to be that girl again, that knew how that felt.

keisa

The clouds grouped, and broke up .. Islands at first, then sea's.  Whole terrains opened up below me.  I starred, in amazement.  How is it possible that this beauty existed without having people scream it from the rooftops?

Flying in a plane, 10000 miles above anyone or anything.  Clouds breaking, forming new worlds.  Beauty in its most extreme, at the most raw level I have ever experienced.  I was moved in a way that made me realize, I am a child, these are my first steps.  I have so much more to experience, to learn, to embrace. 

There is a new me trying to break out from the old.  I would allow this.  I needed this.  I would always have peggy, keisa even .. But now .. There was something new emerging. 

I am ready.  So .. Here is the first piece of erotica I've written in about a 6 months.  The reasons I didn't write are not important.  I am ready now.  Good or bad, this is the beginning .. A  continuation of how life was, how it will be .. But more importantly, how it is now.

She moved agilely.  Her body lithe, seemingly floating above the snowy ground.  The terrain took her into valleys, up onto precipice's.  She moved with a surety, yet her mind was occupied.  She wasn't sure where she was going, although she had no doubt she would get there. 

By the time she reached the small home, lost in the hills, she was slightly tired, and very cold.  She needed .. Something, although she wasn't sure what that was.  Her eyes glowed in the darkness when she reached the front porch.  Searching in her pocket she located the key.  Turning it slowly, hearing the groan of the locks giving reluctantly, she smiled as she forced it to give. 

Her mind wondered how long it had been since anyone had occupied the home.  Time share was such a foreign thing to her.  She had taken her attorney's advice on diversifying and had bought into it, never intending to utilize it.  A tax break only.  Now .. A miracle place to get away while the demons chased her down. 

She breathed a sigh of relief as she leaned against the door, closing her eyes and letting her body relax for the first time in months. 

She smiled at the smell of the place.  Slightly damp, a little like dirt .. And one of the most wonderful smells she could ever remember smelling.  She dropped her bag .. Laptop hit the floor with a thud.  Her briefcase was next.  She laughed at the thought of her phones and laptop.  She would not be contacting anyone on this trip.  She wasn't even sure why she brought them except that perhaps it was habit.  To be electronically connected was a way of life.

She walked to the closest window, reaching down and yanking it up with all of her strength.  The next window proved more difficult, but she was determined  Her muscles tightened as she used every ounce of strength to pull them open.  One after the other, different levels of difficulty.  When she was done the place smelled like green grass, flowers and beautiful mountain air.  Snow, she realized had its own smell as well.

She took a slow deep breath and walked into the bedroom, noticing there were no curtains or blinds at all .. She found that strange, but realized there was no one to see her up in this tiny little home, buried deep into the mountain. 

She peeled off her coat, then sweater .. Her sweaty body almost steaming with the heat she emaciated, in contrast to the cold flowing from the open windows.  Her nipples hardened immediately.  She ran her hands slowly over them, wondering when the sexual need would resurface.  The loss and stress she had faced had efficienty stolen her sexual desires. 

She sat on the bad, pulling off her shoes quickly, deciding now was perfect time and place to experiment.  She slid out of her pants, letting everything hit the floor where it would.  She knew the hot tub outside would blast.  That was one of the selling points.  She walked out, nude and flipped the cover off of it, and cranked it up.  It begin to bubble and boil immediately. 

She noticed the outside shower and decided to wash the sweat off of her as the tub heated.  She turned it on to almost more heat then she could stand and taking a deep breath dived under the spray.  The heat was so intense her intake of air almost burned her nose.  She coughed, laughing at the same time.  Her head relaxed back into the hot spray of water, letting the streams slide over her body.  She felt herself relax even more 

Her hands moved up towards her hair, pushing and pulling it away from her face as the water drenched it.  Tendrils slid over her shoulders and back, breasts and stomach.  Her long black hair shining in the moonlight.

She moaned in animalistic pleasure as she arched her body, enjoying the harsh spray, turning to feel it move over her nipples, bouncing off of her breasts.  Her mind slid away .. Moving beautifully into the moment, forgetting about the past.  She begin to breathe harder as her hands moved over her stomach, moving onto her thighs .. Nails digging into the soft dark skin. 

She glanced over to the hot tub, seeing the temp was at a boiling 99 degrees.  She moved slightly away from the hot spray of the shower, feeling the tips of her nipples beaten by the spray.  She turned the water off, moving slowly over to the tub.  Leaning over the edge, she dragged her hand through the water, feeling the intense heat .. Feeling her body, her leg muscles strain and stretch as she moved .. Her ass pushed up into the cold night air, as she leaned forward. 

Again, she smiled .  If felt good to smile with herself.  Feeling happy to be alive .. To be her. 

She climbed into the hot tub .. The jets forcefully pushing her body this way and that.  She lay back slowly, acclimating to the heat .. The power of the water.   She let the water push her where it would.  She breathed.  She lived ..

She half stood in the water, leaning over, the tips of her nipples in a stream of water in front of her .. Her  ass and pussy in a stream of water behind.  The water jets moved over her like a lover.  Determined to make her feel again.  She caught her breath, then forgot to breathe. 

Long moments passed as she just let herself live. 

The moment was all she had.  The past was over, the future a promise not yet fulfilled.  She had this moment.  She forgave the demons, she choose to walk away from the hurt .. She chose to live in the moment. 

The sexual inhibitions were gone, the demons had died .. She had orgasm after orgasm as the water played with her clit, her pussy, her body .. She gave herself to the moment.

keisa

Sometimes i wonder if i'm being punished or rewarded for past deeds, past lives or past actions.  Karma .. Or God keeping silent tabs on my goods and bads, rewarding or punishing seemingly in a random way?
I have led a life that has been filled with blessings, with pain, with pleasure, with death, horror, fear, love, incredible joy, moments where i honestly felt, i could have died, and been happy that i had that one moment.
We are all different to different people.  How someone responds and behaves to me may not be how they respond or behave to you.  What was good or bad for me, may not be the same to you.  The stars align, God smiles or frowns, the earth moves in just the right way .. and .. there is love or tears, and sometimes both, sometimes simultaneously.
Blessings .. I've had them, i have them still.

still keisa

First attempt after my sabbatical.  Be patient with me please.  I, as is my writing, am a work in progress.

I walked across the parking lot.  It was dark and deserted.  I was tired.  I work too hard.  It was late.  I breathed in a deep breath of fresh air, not having tasted any for hours.  I hesitated as i began my trek across the black parking lot, glancing to my right, then left.  No one, .. deserted.  I felt completely alone, as though i was the only idiot taking her job too seriously.

I closed my eyes as i walked, tilting my head up towards the sky, breathing the sweet night air.  The only sound was my heels striking the pavement .. the swoosh of my skirt rubbing against my legs as i walked.  The wind rumpled my hair over my face, the softness of it, the smell of it made me smile.  I continued to walk, opening my eyes after long moments.  There was a car, a bmw, black, parked beside mine in the far parking lot.  I noticed it when i was almost upon it.  I stopped.  Looking again from right to left i hesitated, slowly walking forward again.  The windows were tinted black.  The parking lot lights were shining directly into my eyes, blinding me so that i couldn't see it the car was occupied or not.  I blindly walked forward, unafraid.  I have always been unafraid.  Fear, living and dying in me while i was too young to know it.

My body responded to something i was unaware of.  My legs took full strides.  My breasts bounced with anticipation.  My hair flew behind me as my eyes opened wide, walking into the eye of the storm.  I stood in front of the bmw, weight on one leg, hand on my hip, unable to see anything.  Long moments passed.  I starred fearlessly into the blackness of the vehicle, knowing there was someone in there, watching me, just as intently.

Your door finally opened.  I didn't change my stance.  A tall, strong body moved up and out of the vehicle, i didn't move.  My eyes took in the large frame, the dark hair, the dark eyes.  You had on black, pants, shirt, leather coat.  I stood, unimpressed.  You walked to me, stopping inches  from me.  My black eyes watched you, wondering, waiting.

You reached out, your hand brushing my cheek.  I exhaled as i leaned into your touch. 

Thats it for now .. lol .. my mind has closed down for the evening