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MisterBlakk
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I AM A LITTLE If you need this explained more please ask and I will explain. But should I need to explain about being a little, chances are we are not going to be a good fit. I do not role play, this is who and what I am. I am also a sub, who loves various parts of the BDSM lifestyle, but without accepting and being a part of the first part we would not suit for just the second part. I cannot nor will I give up the first part. I am a BBW, separated (over 4 years), a mom to two grown sons and a grandmother to two grandchildren.
I am not a BRAT but can at times become bratty, usually an indicator of needing something..LOL I need structure, guidance, discipline (when necessary). I wear adult briefs. I have a weakened bladder and Crohn's disease. My little side ranges between 2 and 5, sometimes younger when I am very stressed. I do have and use adult pacifiers, they are a comfort and are good for mild snoring and apnea. I have numerous stuffed animals, play doh, crafting items and LOVE to color. One of my most favorite places is Disney, Yes Tigger is my favorite. I attend events that are little oriented, munches and things like that. I would love to have a Daddy that would go to these with me.
But I am not just a little, I am also a submissive woman who need a dom. That someone who can give guidance, structure and discipline when necessary. Someone active in the lifestyle preferably, as I attend BDSM events and would love for my Dom to be with me.
Through my journals you will find that I have been hurt a time or two by guys I met here, but that does not change the hope and faith that I will find the right person, the Daddy, the Dom, the Man, Partner, Lover, Friend that I will spend my life with. The person with whom I will come to trust, submit myself to, give my loyalty to, my all.. The big and the Little, having not only a D/s relationship but also a DD/lg.
THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS PROFILE, AND SHOULD YOU CONTACT ME, I WILL TRY TO RESPOND AS SOON AS I CAN. If not I wish you well with your search and hope that you find that special one.
PS.. I am sorry but if you are more than 5 years younger than I am I am not likely to be a good match. And no offence but I have never been attracted to an african american and doubt I will in the future, Sorry.
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Well I am supposedly not a good person, told to me by someone who refused to state why. Because I am supposed to read his mind?? Well I forgot to take that class in college. This from someone who blatantly lies on his profile.. Oh well better off without this person in my life.
Also got taught a lesson on trusting, I am now down a sum of money that was lent to help with cost of medicine.. yeah..
Lessons learned guys.
Unfortunately it makes it harder on the real, genuine ones who want us. By us I mean the littles that are on here. Hoping to maybe find a Daddy. So on goes the search.. |
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Here we are, another New Year. another year of searching. Friends made. But still searching for that one. The one that I am unsure is out there.. Because finding someone real, willing to meet, get to know.. seems so hard to do. I mean really why go through all this to not meet, play games, lead on, tease, lie, take advantage.. OYE Where are the real ones? The ones who want to meet, get to know a person and form a relationship with?
Oh and being sick right now isn't helping.. sinus infection, ear infection and strep.. Where oh where is my Daddy to come take care of me?
Being sick makes one's heart break for what it seeks. |
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I am amazed and not in a good way by some of the so called Doms on here.. Gentlemen I have news for you, just because someone looks at your profile does not mean they want you!! Sorry.. It may just mean your profile struck a chord with that person and they wanted to see more of it. So why would you block that person?? What are you so afraid of? Having your profile admired? Mr. Executive Demand.. what are you afraid of?? A little who wanted to compliment you on a well written profile?
*Shakes my head* Sometimes people surprise me, though by now you would think they wouldn't. Oh well.. Back to reading profiles. |
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For those people that are into the ABDL/ DDLG lifestyle.. some upcoming events you may want to consider.. Early in 2018 is CAPCon, late summer on the west coast for their first time is the West Coast Jungle Gym, then comes TeddyCon in October and early 2019 for their debut in Texas will be Little PlayPlace happening in February should all go well with the planning.
I can vouch for TeddyCon, having attended for three years now. It is a wonderful innocent event for Littles, Middles, ABDL and Bigs. Four days of fun, learning and play.
I will also plan on attending the LPP event in 2019.
Check out the events on the other site.. F..life
Also if your thing is BDSM.. Well how about Brimstone V happening in November in Piscataway, NJ the weekend after Thanksgiving. |
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Why come onto a site like this if you do not want to be contacted or at least have the courtesy to read the email sent to you? Makes no sense to me. Oh well, I was only trying to compliment someone on the tattoos they sport, guess he could not take a compliment..LOL |
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Beware idiots on here who send a message that is rude and degrading then blocks the recipient. Takes a real man to do that. Oh sorry, meant a real cowardly wannabe. To say he is a man is an insult to those who are here to find their partner.
And for the record romance2..... I've had my career for 20 years!
As for my weight.. that is being taken care of. |
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I love to read the profiles here.. some make me sigh wistfully, some crack me up, others are so out there that I cannot fathom who would respond. Now that is not to criticize anyone for their wants and needs, for I am sure to some my profile is off the wall or something. It is just that "I" cannot fathom the wants, needs or expectations of some.. just too far outside my wheel house..
Keep in mind.. I am not perfect and will never profess to be.. I have faults.. I also have fears, concerns, wants and needs, insecurities and all that go with life..
Should you feel like chatting.. I am around.. but know I will not do all the chasing.. if you do not answer... I will walk away..
I have a life, two sons a daughter in law and 1.5 grandchildren.. A great dane, full time career, activities I enjoy doing.. But I will make time, as I would expect of someone wanting to meet and see where things go.. I know you will have a life outside this lifestyle.. |
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I miss.. the daily texts.
I miss.. talking.
I miss.. structure.
I miss.. guidance.
I miss.. having little time with a Daddy.
I miss.. Snuggling
I miss.. cuddling.
I miss.. love
I miss.. kisses.
What I don't miss...
I don't miss being lied to
I don't miss being led on
I don't miss being let down
I don't miss being taken advantage of.
What I will do...
I will go on..
I will move forward..
I will love again..
I will have what I need..
I will have what I want..
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I thought I had met the one I would be with. Guess I was wrong. So I am once again looking for the Daddy that will be a fit with me. Please be one who will know that my little side needs her time.. I need my little time, I need my time as a submissive, and of course I need my vanilla time. I have a wonderful grand daughter that I spend a bit of time with, this will not change. Be ok with the fact that I am padded (I have Crohn's disease and a weak bladder).
Once again looking for that needle in a haystack, that hope against hope.. |
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When you miss someone so much you have conversations with them in your head, because you know that messaging them will hurt more. It will keep wounds open. But oh how you want to talk to them, tell em about your day, ask about theirs, just listen to their voice. one hour, one day at a time.. move forward. Slowly healing. |
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I re activated this profile. Not to search, but to let those I am friends with know I am still around. I will be around if ya wanna chat. Though I am again heart sore, I will
survive and move forward with time and healing. |
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A play party then a sleep over have shown me that I am missing something.. I am missing a full time partner.. A relationship that Daddy will come to these events with me. That he will be with me for the upcoming events that I am going to, a zoo trip, an amusement park, and the next con.. What little wants to go to those alone? Well I have no choice, I need the contact and stimulation of my little friends. I need the play time, the time to just be little. But the envy of those that are couples is great. I wont rush into something. But that does not stop the wanting or wishing or the hope.
I keep hoping my time for happiness will come soon. Some days are harder than others. Especially as it has now been over a year since I had my heart and trust handed to me by a Daddy. But I do still hope. |
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Two weeks from right now in about five and an half hours I will be heading to a plane to go on vacation for twelve days. I am excited and yet sad too.. I knew when I started planning this trip that I would likely be going solo again. I had hoped that maybe I would find my Daddy to be able to go with. But that is not in the cards this time. Instead I will go, have fun,visit friends.. buy a tiara or three.. a new stuffie or three.. visit Tigger, get a couple new tattoos.
In the meantime I will be moving to a slightly larger home, watching my eldest get married, await the start of my vacation and then come home and wait for my first grand baby to make her appearance.
What a month this is turning out to be.. LOL |
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This was a hard holiday season, emotions up and down.. Dreams of what my heart said should have been, the reality of what is, made this season harder than I thought it would. Now that it is done, I look forward to my vacation in 40 days. Yup this little is going back to Disney and with a few days at Universal. I go alone again, but that is ok. It is what it is. I will see that which I want, go on the rides I want. It is easier to do so as a single rider. Although I do dream of sharing this type of vacation with a Daddy. One day hopefully the dream will come true.
Until then I will get by day by day.. doing for myself that which I would hope my Daddy will one day do for me. |
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This is the weekend that a dream I shared with another is being played out, by someone else with the one I thought I would have the dream with. I am sad, and angry at the same time. Disappointed and hurt. Envious and yes jealous. Because I ask why not me? What did I do wrong? What could I have done different to have made it so he would want that with me and not another.
But for as much as it hurts and I wish things were different, they are not. All I can do is pray that someday I will have the dream, my dream. That I will find one who will want me, to be with me, want to fulfill my dreams and more.
I do wonder if what I seek is a dream or unattainable. But seek I have no choice but to continue.
All I can do is hope and pray I find the one meant for me. |
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I know what I want.. I want the Daddy Dom who will do all that is in my profile, but also have a need to have not only a physical closeness with me but a mental one also. One who will want to get to know the woman, the college student, the little and the submissive. Someone who will want to brush his hand across my back as he passes me, to come up behind me and give me a quick hug.. just because he wants to. Someone who will want to have me snuggled up to him at night, cuddling up while watching a movie. Want to take my hand as we go out for a stroll. Want to slow dance with me.
Romantic, I am without a doubt.. Should he be? to a point yes.. not over the top but enough to feel the romantic soul in me. Send me flowers or bring them home, just because he thinks I would love them. A card that says I am thought about. A trip to the zoo because he knows the little side of me LOVES that.
He will want to nurture the little in me, guide her, give structure and guidance. Want to play in my favorite playground (Disney) with me. To make wonderful memories there. He will encourage my coloring or making crafty things for him.
He will want me to do my best in college and offer his assistance as he can. He will want to be with me as I walk the stage for my diploma. Beaming with pride for his little. Wanting to celebrate that momentous occasion.
He will want to make the sub happy.. by doing what a Dom should.. dominating, accepting the gift of my submission.
But through all this he does need to be one who enjoys touching and being touched. That very communicating touch..
Find me please Daddy |
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FASFA is done, now to see how much assistance I will receive for this next year of college.
When I finish this term, I will have finished my first year of college. With luck and much work I am hoping to finish with better than a 3.7 GPA. This is something I should have done years ago, but did not have the support and encouragement of my husband. Family, home and work came first. Well the family (children) are grown, the home is gone, the marriage ended. Now is the time for me, to get the education I wanted back then, to find that which I search for, to grow and evolve. To be me, to be happy, fulfilled and cherished. Yeah I am wanting the moon and stars.. well my portion of it anyway. Who's up for the challenge that is me? LOL.
Best wishes to all,
Tigger |
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Star light,
Star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight,
* I wish for a Daddy Dom to love, who will love me. Who will guide me, be my friend, lover and more. Who will be mine as I am his.*
That is my wish this night |
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For the friends old and new who have helped me recently.. THANK YOU!! You do not know how much this has meant to me. ADP, Master G, LittleOne, Reina.. All of you. You mean the world to me.
Onward I go, with your help. |
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What to do now? That is the question. I wish I knew. How to find that which I've lost? The one that will suit that which I seek. I have loved and I have lost. I have wished, hoped and looked and been left, let go and hurt. Is it too much to want and need? Is it to much to want love?
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I want to ask a million questions, until I understand.
I want to rant, until I'm hoarse.
I want to curl up, until the pain is gone.
I want... My love. |
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I am lost and at sea tonight. Heart sore, mind reeling. How do I cope? I wish I knew.
Jesus, Please help me to get through this period. Help me to understand. Help me to know what to do. Please take my wheel and guide me, for I so need it right now. |
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Well the vacation that I planned and worked my tail off to make happen, did happen. It was wonderful, exciting and fun. We had a few days of cooler temps and one of rain,otherwise it was sunny and beautiful. The Magic Kingdom and all the Disney parks we went to were all that I remembered and more because of seeing the things that I had always wanted to and had not till this trip. I am hoping to go again before thirteen years has passed. I know some things that I will plan out better for next time and things that I will do different or not at all. But overall it was without a doubt a great trip for my sons and I. LittleOne and Papabear thank you for helping to make this trip memorable. Along with the over 2 thousand plus pictures taken.
Although I did come home to single digit temps and end up with a sinus infection, LOL. Just my luck.
On another good note I finished my first semester in college. With a 3.77 GPA. Who would've thunked it outta this lady?? Guess me.. LOL I am striving to remain an A student and graduate with honors. I have a lesson to teach my sons, it is never too late to get an education, although sooner rather than later is best. My new semester starts in a week and I have already started the reading that is needed for the first week. Hoping to remain a week ahead this term. English Composition and Personal Finance are my first two subjects.. yay.. LOL
ADP, Thank you for more than you will ever know.. three four and more, always!! ;) |
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It is upon us, Christmas. The meaning of which is different for all of us, some more commercial than others. For me it is a time to reflect, love and renew my faith in God and Christ. It is also the time that I love best for it is the time of love, giving, festive music, Santa and all that goes with that side of the Holiday.
This year is my second one single, much different from last. It has been a long year, one of growth and much reflection. Of making friends. Of loosing loved ones. I have learned much of myself in this past year. I started my journey to gaining my degree, something I did not envision at the start of the year, yet here I am getting ready to finish my first semester with an A average. I am two weeks from a vacation that I only envisioned a year ago, yet is within my grasp.
Although this has not been the easiest of years I do know now that I am a strong woman and can and will shoot for the stars and obtain that which I wish for. That I am deserving of more than I was willing to settle for in prior years.
With all that said, Merry Christmas to all, May your holiday be wonderful and full of joy, happiness and all that you wish for. May your New Year be better than this one. |
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The saying "Thy will be done on earth as in Heaven" is well known, It does not make things any easier when Thy will is tearing my heart out. My mom is passing away, my father went to be with the Lord in'06 and now she will follow him and my stepfather. My prayer is that she goes peacefully after her grandchildren are all here to say Good Bye to her, meaning after my eldest comes home tomorrow night. My prayers are many right now, For the strong, loving arms of the Lord to hold me and give me strength to deal with the sorrow and loss of my mom. For His guidance as I go through this most difficult time. For his Love to help me to remember the good times and release the bad. |
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I know it is a bit late this year but once again I thank all those who are serving or have served our country for the service they chose to give. To those who made the ultimate sacrifice,you will be remembered always for what you have done for the freedom many take for granted.
Thanks WV for all the chats and everything else. I smile more now days.. :)
These late nights will be worth the effort, come January. Disney World here I come!! |
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I had the pleasure to chat with a gentleman today that surprised me. After several emails he realized that we would not suit. Instead of disappearing (as I am now used to) he told me that he did not feel we would suit, and did not want to lead me on. He was honest and kind in his let down. A Gentleman and a Dom. He will make the right sub a wonderful Dom if he interacts with her as he did with me.
I was very pleasantly surprised by this Daddy Dom. Now if I could find the one that will suit me. As for the ones who like to just disappear, well you could take lessons from him in honesty and gentlemanly behavior.
And if I have spoken to you and did disappear, I am very sorry for my bad behavior, it was rude of me and not how I want people to perceive me.
Thanks,
Tigger |
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Ever since a vacation I took when I was 18, I have gone with others like my husband, where the trips were joint paid for and/or planned by him. Well in January 2015 I and my sons will be going to Orlando on a 2 week vacation. This trip was planned for my me and totally paid for by me. To many they would think nothing of this, but for this little it is a huge deal.. I did it on my own. I am going to have the vacation I want, seeing what I want, doing what I want. Yes this trip is about me. I have earned it, saved for it and deserve it. As do my sons, although they are young men and can go and do what they want, this is a gift to them from mom. Otherwise this is the vacation that my little can come out and play to her hearts content and not be looked at as something weird or out of place.
The lesson here is work hard and it will pay off. And the pride of doing something like this on my own. Without the assistance of others. Would I like it if I had a Daddy Dom to share it with, yes without a doubt, but it does not seem to be in the cards for me at this time. And that is ok. I will enjoy this vacation as it stands and have one heck of a wonderful time. So yay me!!! I am proud of this accomplishment, and cannot wait until I start my drive to Orlando. |
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My Journey
Each day I wake up wondering where this day will take me. Will today be the day I find that which I seek. Even if I do not, the day is a journey.
A journey in the delights of the friends I am making.
A journey in the wonderment of going to college, the pride in knowing that I am going to have a better future than had I not taken this path.
A journey in knowing that I am making others lives easier in the work that I do, that I am teaching those who need help, more than they would know without people like me doing what we do.
A journey in discovering more about myself than I have in many many years.
A journey of discovering a lifestyle I did not know about for many years yet had a foot in the door of with out knowing.
A journey of discovering my little side that has cried out to be allowed out for many many years. To be nurtured and cherished as should be.
A journey of finding the one who is perfect for me, not perfect, just perfect for me.
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discussions for first three classes done and turned in.. I am a proud student.. specially seeing as the classes just started today |
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It is Official, I am a college student with Grantham University. Everything is set for me to start classes.. I am so excited for me.. |
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A Year
A lot can happen in a year..
You can end a stagnant marriage, where no one talks or does anything.
You can quit smoking. After many failed attempts.
You can realize things about yourself that did not have a name for many years. Being a little is not a bad thing.
You can live on your own for the first time in a quarter century, wow how time has flown.
You can go to college. Something you never thought you would do at this age.
You can meet and talk to many people who want to help you in your journey.
You can meet and talk to some who leave you hurting.
You can be lonely for a hug.
You can wonder if you will find the one who will want you, want to be with you, cherish you, play with you, guide you but most of all love you.
And then you pick yourself up by the bootstraps and go on, knowing that in the end, your friends will mean the world to you, you will cherish your children and you will love yourself.
It has not been a bad year.. sometimes sad, tearful and lonely.. Other times joyous, wonderful and filled with laughter. It has been a year of learning.
So on I go into year number two..
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It's been awhile since I have written here.. so here goes..
Yup there still seems to be a plethora of wanna be's here and idiots.. guys (if that is what they are) that will chat.. get things going then disappear totally with no word or explaination
Come on guys.. have the balls to say that you have changed your mind.. it really is not that hard. And to make this little say things like that is not easy but man am I tired of that BS.. like it is so hard to say " I am sorry but I have changed my mind, or I do not think we would work.." Jumpin jiminies
But on a good note.. I am a college student now.. taking business management and then healthcare administration..
And in 4 months I will be in the middle of my Disney vacation.. YAY me.. this trip is 13 yrs in the waiting.. 2 weeks in Orlando.. 7 days in Disney parks, one in Universal, A day trip to the beach..and a few in the house we are renting with the pool..and some time shopping for goodies..driving down.. yeah.. I so cannot wait!!
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I look daily and still nothing, to some the amount of time is minimal and seems short. Yet I am lonely.. being alone does not bother me.. it is being lonely that hurts. the need to be held, to be loved..
I am facing the loss of a friend of 35 years, knowing her passing will tear a part of my soul apart. I want to cry, yet know that without someone to hold me as I do I do not know if I will be able to pull myself together.
that is not the only reason I wish for someone..
the little in me needs daddy to be there for the good and bad. to hold, to guide, to support emotionally..to give structure,
Yet for some reason finding what I need and want seems to be harder than heck..I know I am not the prettiest or the youngest or thinnest.. but surely there is a daddy dom out there who would like a 47 yr old little, but no offense I am not looking for someone too much older than I am.. call me nuts, but I would like someone who is fit so he can inspire me and work with me to get fit again.. I am doing what I can now..but someone with me is even better.
Also looking for around my age so he can keep up with me in the bedroom.. (blushes)
How long is long enough to be looking? I guess in this I am impatient..
Here is to hoping you will find me soon.. |
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This search can sometimes be disheartening, you think you find the one you search for only to have him/her slip away like a puff of smoke.
Take heart in the knowledge that there are others in the same position, still searching for their "right" one.
Just as my soul cries out for the one it is meant to be with, yours does as well and in time we will each find the one our souls want, need and desire.
I have to have faith that this is true and I will find him.. some day, some where, some time.. |
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If you tell me you want to get to know me, and then change your mind please say so. All you have to say is you changed your mind.
please do not leave me hanging or give excuses. just be straight with me.
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