Paygan

Male Dominant, 28, Fayetteville, Arkansas

Bad night, I crave domination tonight. I feel the frenzy, I ache to be used, hurt, fucked. Guess its time for a very cold shower

Bad night, I crave domination tonight. I feel the frenzy, I ache to be used, hurt, fucked. Guess its time for a very cold shower

I have decided that I am not gonna sit and pine for A Dom. I have every confidence that when the universe decides I'm ready, then we will cross paths, I just hope I recognize him.

Ivebeen reading through other journals today. I've come to the conclusion that this site is more about kink and less about D/s than I ever imagined. Cocks and boobs, while nice, even more than nice in some cases are not all there is.... And the Men who play at being Doms, who demand obedience, and sexual acts in the first conversation. As a subbie, this worries me. So many fragile new souls can be damaged by a headfuck. I want to know the person, before I know the Dom. If I don't like the person, it's a sure bet I won't like the Dom. Just as I believe you want to know me, the girl, the woman. I dont want to post my pics, or see your cock. In time if I am being considered, and considering, then and only then will there be a picture exchanged. I want to be given tasks, jobs, writings, readings, little things do I can see the kind of man and Dom you are, and you can see the submissive I am. Yes, I want....I have needs, dreams desires, they should compliment yours, not be sublimated by them.

I have realized I have serious trust issues. Until I deal with those, I will never be truly able to be a good submissive, never fully able to let go. It's hard though, how does one trust without trusting? I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop, looking for the lie. I hate this

Hmmm someone is trolling cm while chatting me up on IM. I HATE THAT

Well, I met someone, still in the " courting phase". I am trying very hard not to base my assumptions on prior experiences. But, my gut keeps telling me, there is more than meets the eye, and not in a good way. Now, do i listen to my gut, or is it just simply someng I ate???? Resolve not to wear blinders, but not to run either.

A darkness creeps through my soul. Why does this yearning not end? Is there someone out there who can quench it? Is it time to simply give up?

Today was a beautiful day. Owned or not I am happy with life, with myself, with the universe today. Still I wonder when?

Is there anything that says a Dom can't show his softer side. A former Master once brought me breakfast in bed, regularly. Did that make Him weak in my eyes? No. I worshipped Him more because He was strong enough, and sure enough of Himself to do things like that and more. I don't find that here. Why is that?

I really feel like giving up, too bitchy, too soft, I'm just me, is there a Dom who can appreciate that?

Chat speak and stupidity are hard limits

I'm sad tonight, and it's hard. I try to maintain my veneer, to hold people at bay, to guard the fragile woman inside from hurt, but that hurts me even more. It's hard to find a Dominant who can crack the chrysalis and release the butterfly. Tonight I just want to give up

So after thinking I was either really dense, or really blonde I realized my iPad doesn't support chat. If I ignore your chat request, that's why, not utter rudeness

It's interesting how much people want to believe here. How instantly they want to hook up, and how they forget they messaged someone and we're politely declined. Its not that I am not interested, it's just I have had enough notes from bat shit crazy freaks who wouldn't know how to dominate a sub, even if she came with an instruction manual. I want a strong Dom, intelligent enough to capture my brain first, with a sense of life and vitality. One who understands sexual submission on it's own is just kink, wonderful, but just kink. Someone who understands my submissive soul and it's complexities.

I have met some interesting D types here. But I am not going to play hide the salami on cam just because you say so. Nor am I interested in couples. I tried poly, it wasn't right for me. Sighs, I am maybe too picky. But I know my worth, and I am not going to settle

Is need of some cash. Think I can fake being a tribute Domme? Only half joking. I just don't understand that whole dynamic...anyone care to enlighten me buy me things on my amazon wish list?

My apologies to anyone who I have not reponded to. The cat chewed through my laptop cord

I think I want a daddy type Dom. I miss seeing pride in my Master's voice. That gleam in their eye. I miss doing the silly little things,and some of the not so silly things. It's hard not to belong to someone,and yet I also know I am not ready yet. I have to Be the best me, for me first, then, and only then can I be the best for someone else. And yeah for me,down 5 lbs. giggles, there's financial Dommes out there, how about weight loss Doms!

Wow. This site is so interesting, in a strange, stop and watch a train wreck sort of way. Between the " Dominates" and the sluts4cum...I am actually beginning to think crazy is the new sane

ill train and mentor ya try a getaway to lake of the ozarks with me ill only call ya mine after making that ass red grabin ahandful of hair and riding you doggystyle and you totally give me your body heart mind and soul then you will be mine ( oh be still my heart!) This is an actual message I received. Note the complete lack of punctuation, the poor grammar, and the sheer stupidity of it.... I once read submissives should seek a Dom more intelligent than they are. Wow is this going to be tough

I am laughing my ass off at 99.9% of the messages I have received. No grammar, no wit, no humor, or you think you're going to win me with a cock shot. It takes more than a big dick to leash me. If size was all that mattered, I would be calling my dildo "Sir"

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