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patina

patina - photo 2
patina - photo 4

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Friends:
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Ok here is an update to all

i am no longer available---

i have found the Master i want, he seems to be happy with me. We are going slow but things look good so i am not looking or accepting any more offers at this time.

This Master is strict, dominant, controlling, firm, demands obediance immediately, with no excuses, at the same time is caring of my welfare, generous of praise of work well done, is considerate, fair, honest,

i am completely content with him.



AT THIS TIME I AM SEEING A DOM SO AM NOT INTERESTED IN MEETING OTHERS.



i just spent 2 weeks in MN with a Gorean Master it was almost perfect. i had a miner stomach virus which he then caught, so that messed up the time for about 4 days. But i was able to find out he is what i have been looking for and i can't wait to move to join him.

i finally was able to experience being flogged once and enjoyed it very much. My sex life is nonexistent but oh well that has been true since 1997 so what else is new. My ex husband was no good then either. i was celibate until the lifestyle, i was only able to be actually have anything to do with a man when i was with a Gorean Master. i left him due to missunderstandings and in some ways i wish i was with him again.

ok on to who or what i am.

i am a applachian country gal. i am not snobbish or snooty, i am just a down to earth female that will call a kettle black and if you don't like it get the hell out of my way. i am strong willed, strong minded, except to a Master though even to him i feel i have the
right to ask at times why or what is going on. i am not a doormat but i know what it is to kneel and lick my Masters feet and will do so if he deserves it. He has to master me first though. It can't be done with you saying "honey will you please fix something to eat" or begging me to bring you a cup of coffee i am the slave you tell me to go fix you a cup of coffee NOW. And that you want a chicken dinner fixed at 5:30 sharp.

i am a great cook, i love the outdoors, i like movies a wide variety, i like music a wide variety, i love animals. i have a cat that is 11yrs old. Have had her since she was a kitten she is fixed and declawed, i could never get rid of her. She is a good cat.

i will tell some honest things about me now as i always try to be as honest as possible. i had a stroke in 1996 it has left me with some medical issues of, dizziness at times, a limp occassionally, a weakness on the left side. Those are the physical issues now the mental ones from the brain trauma is, short term memory loss, cognitive processing issues. i have solved the first one by keeping lots of tablets and post it notes around the other i have to have someone go with me to appointments to make sure i understand what was said. If you are telling me something then make sure i understand don't assume i do.
Now the kicker i have bi polar II, i am lucky in that it is a mild case and that i have my meds all set now so i am mainly level, just like everyone else. i can still have mood swings but they are not as strong i am in control.

i think that covers it except for i prefer to deal with a Gorean lifestyle i just like that way of life better.

patina



i am adding this excert to let others know about something that happened to me.

The Dom i have been with decided to rob me. My diamond jelwery --my super nice cookware-- a dress coat-- from me while i went back to my family while my father lay dying.

do not trust this man run away as fast as possible he is a 58 yr old african american man who is in a wheelchair due to a broken leg and polio, who lives in Columbus,OH. He goes by initials of KH do not trust him in any form.

i just filed a police report against him. He will lie, cheat and steal from you and others, plus he refuses to bath, and he is just plain nasty in all aspects of his life.


i know this may be against the rules but i have to warn others so they don't lose items too.

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5/8/2010 3:01:46 PM
i am updating my old journal.  Many times i wanted to write things but i felt it was not right but now he is out of my apt and hopefully life i will tell some not all.  i had actually joined twith this Dom in Jan of 2009 we moved into the new apt. the end of May 2009 so i had 6 months then a yr plus 5 months on line.  i thought i knew him.  obviouslt not here is my truth and his deceit

i have a long sad story to tell, it may be against the rules but i feel a need to warn my sister slaves about a real thief on CM.  A dom i have spent almost 1/1/2 yrs with due to my stupidity and soft heart, has decided to rob from me.  When we first started talking he gave the impression he was honest, had good moral codes, was a decent human being.  He told me he had polio but said he could walk with a cane.  He said he had fell and broke a leg and so was in a wheelchair for a while.  As soon as some infection he had cleared up he would be back on his feet.  So i joined him in Columbus, K told partial truth, he has polio but he was hardly able to walk with or without a cane now or before.  The infection he had had for a year, it was very bad in his leg he probably would never walk again.  i had told him i could not take care of a man in a wheel chair, for long as i too had health problems.  He assured me he would be up and walking within a yr.  i was stupid i believed him.

he had all kinds of excuses as to why he was unable to take full showers, or do other good other hygine habits.  

The apt he lived in when we first met, the bathroom was not big enough for his wheelchair to fit into very good so he could not manuver it to get into the tub.  However he would just wash off each day.  but as he could not wipe his arse good when he took a crap it was always nasty.  In the 2 yrs we were together he never washed his feet.  They were very nasty. 

When we moved he still made up excuses as to why he could not bath until i complained of the smell.  He had other disgusting habits too.  The only reason i stayed was because the lease was mainly in my name.  i was legally bound to the apt.  i had to pay no matter what.  As time went on it got worse.  My dad who was in a nursing home became very sick i went home to see him.  While i was at my dads deathbed KH decided to move out he packed or had a friend come help him move.  These 2 decided to take my long winter dress coat 150.00 my diamond bracelet 175.00, my diamond necklace 150.00, my pearl necklace 200.00, a set of very nice pots and pans, and  bakeware 400.00. and 2 paintings of extreme value 20,000.00 i have filed a police report naming him as a thief. 

He likes to take movies and make blackmarket copies and then sell them to his friends.  He is able to downloiad non-released movies and copy them to sell.  He will go to junk yards and take parts without paying.  He is a thief, liar, and uncouth.  If you get a message from a Dom from Col. OH who is african American who, says he is in a wheel chair and looking for a sub/slave run away as fast as you can. 

i wish i had, unfortunatly i thought he would 
change for the better, but he only changed for the  worse, so i left.

patina

6/4/2009 7:24:18 PM
well here is a new update on my life there has been a lot of changes.  I visited the Dom in Columbus, it has pretty much worked out.  It is not perfect but i do not think any relationship is. 

I have as the Gorean way begged his collar.  We have moved into an apartment in which we both are on the lease i am bound here for at least 6 months. 

i will hope things continue to improve as time goes.

 


11/15/2008 8:44:45 PM
Well i know this may sound like a broken record but i had planned to walk away and not deal with this site but didn't.  Instead i answered the message of a guy who lives in Col. OH.  It has turned out to be a good decision.  He is Gorean but did not realize it.  He is all i want in a master we are going to go slow but i have no hidden gut feelings against this guy. 

He wants me to be listed as under consideration.  I have agreed and think this will be it. And this time i am listing under consideration with full desire no hesitation or resentment i squelched. 

I do have to deal with one issue with joining him with my family.  They are against this lifestyle and i have told them i am free --well kinda--, over 21 defnitly, and here is the kicker white so can do as i please.  Now this Dom is free defnitly, over 21 yes defnitly, but not white lol.  He is African American so my brothers will hit the ceiling but they always find something to fault with me so what else is new. Those that count in my family don't care they accept Master Kenneth.  My sons and my niece. 

11/10/2008 2:44:25 AM
i got to thinking about some remarks made in a post i had done.  The responses seem to have formed the wrong impression which i can not blame them as it was the impression that was supposed to be given out but not by my desires. 

I have a great problem which is what  i am now going to devote to changing.   i have actually accomplished quite a bit of it already.  I just hope that when it is put to the test i can stick to my resolve. 

I am too submissive for my own good i have always gone with the attitude that i am to obey what the Dom tells me to do.  I am, finally starting to realize i only have to obey the owner not the Dom.  So no longer will i put i am under consideration after just talking 3 times because a male says to.  No longer will i refuse to talk to other dom's just because we are talking.  I have decided i will not obey you in any way until we physically meet and i agree to accept your collar if this upsets you then you are not a good master and i am not losing a thing by telling you to bug off.

Now to good Dominates sp? i do not mean this as disrespectful and you will agree with these statements so i beg forgiveness if my phrasing is offensive. 

11/7/2008 7:21:41 AM
ok i am going to chill for a while and work on getting my own personal thoughts desires in order.  I need to figure out what i am going to do with my life, who do i want to be with How do i want to acciomplish that goal.  I think i will just try being completely introspective and just paint and write for a while and see what happens.

So see you all at a later time


11/3/2008 11:08:47 PM
Well again a DOM lied to me what is it that guys think they can mislead you then say oh but i was going to explain it later and you are supposed to just say it"s ok  To me a lie is a lie. 

I don't know to me when a Don contacts you saying he wants a slave and has no other slaves that means he lives without a girl.  And it means he is wanting a slave for himself.  Now he is admitting he has a switch as a slave and he is looking to find someone to help her out.  So in effect he is looking for a pet for his slave that is misleading lieing to me.  He says i am not ready to make a commitment.  Oh well on to the next one maybe.



Don't tell me you have no slave when you have a switch.  Don't tell me you are Gorean when all you have is just read a web site about it, the truth does come out and we girls do talk and tell each other that guy from Amerillo TX is no good stay away from him. 

This too is why i will not even talk to guys now who are not within a days drive.  I am losing 000.00 because of this jerk.  I have plane tickets and hotel reservations made and now he finally admits the truth.  I really can not afford things like that either i just happened to have saved some money up for other things.   I have enough income to support myself  comfrotably.  I am on disability.


  

i can get the hotel reimbursed i am not sure about the plane reservations.  Maybe i will fly somewhere else i don't know how that works.  oh well i learned a lessom Don't trust Dom's anymore.

i know this journal is bitter but i feel i have a right to be bitter amd vent at this time.  Maybe next week i will remove it but for now i am still pissed off at the assholes Dom's on this site. 

10/12/2008 12:10:51 PM
Well i seemed to have jumped the gun again.  I am just a lousy judge of character i guess.  i want to please the man so bad i don't listen to my gut.  The weird thing was that he was able to make me feel things i had never felt before.  I did experience things i thought i would never accept and was excited by them from him, but when he tried to interfer with time with my sons it was a defnite breaking point.  He had misled me on being sadist and i do not think i could have really ever pleased him as he likes to punish to much.  He always found something wrong with what i did so he could threaten a punishment for later.  his name is totally misleading in that it has bless in it lol.

i will again go back to my plan of only dealing with men i actually physically meet.  i will go to munch's and Gor Fest and events and hope to meet some one that way.

9/24/2008 3:44:01 AM
I am owned by a man who is not a Gorean Master but lives and believes in their ways.  He is not what i thought i would ever accept as a Master but i have not felt any bad gut feeling no matter what he has told me to do , try, or experiment with.  I know a lot of people say you do not know until you have talked to them for a long time or have met.  Well i tried the talking for a long time 4 yrs or more it just got me older.  Meeting just got me upset so i decided to follow my gut instead.  It says "ok go for it." So i am.  I feel free but chained at the same time.  I told him his chains are invisible but more stronger than anything.  
those of you who think i am silly or stupid well go ahead i am happy now and pleasing him that is all that matters in the end isn't it.

 

9/13/2008 9:34:59 PM
well i served at a Gorean Gathering, it was hard work but i really enjoyed it.  i felt i made headway in my learning of where i want to be in this lifestyle.  I had made the mistake of meeting a Dom before i went and was so caught up in being with him i allowed myself to be swayed into thinking of him as my Sir.  i went on to the Gathering and realized i just was too involved in the Gorean ways to leave it.  He said he would change but i do not want a man to change his way of life for me he must do it because he desires it only then is it his true calling.  Especially in the Gorean lifestyle. 

i know now i must only stay and talk to men who feel the the way of Gor is their way first.  I still have a lot to learn and a long way to travel on this road but i feel i am finally making more progress in my own stability of decision as to where i am headed.  Now to just reach it without too many side trips ending in disasters.





8/11/2008 7:51:02 PM
i was thinking about lifestyles today and realized i do not want to be out of the Gorean lifestyle.  i do prefer it so much more over the BDSM. 

The men in it are just more masculine, they act like masters.  I mean no insult or disrespect to others but with all the dom's i have been contacted by on this site the only ones i really respect except for a few are on the Gorean side. 

I know they are not all perfect there  too but the majority are not into just saying they are a master they just are.  They do not have to push or threaten or belittle me at the start to try and prove anything.  They just state who they are.  I do hope one of them decides to contact me sometime.
 

8/4/2008 6:37:27 PM
Well I have experienced wearing a collar and so know it is what I want.  I found too that I do not do good at long distance relationships i am too independent and will just ignore the rules.  A lot of times it is not intentional i just am so used to doing everything on my own i just go ahead and do so again. 

Maybe if the Dom-master lived close enough to meet once a week it would work out but to not see him for almost 6 months at a time just doesn't work, for me at least.
 

But I was at fault in a lot of areas, i am honest and will admit i did a lot wrong.  I have learned a lot from that experiences.  I know I am a slave so hope to find a Master who wants a high spirited girl who is willing to learn and do her best for him.  

 




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blueroses81
 
 Age: 23
 Bremerton, Washington