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pandr

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Hello one and all First: No Men, No Men, No Men!!! I've got one, and not looking for another, or replacement, additional, no, you're not going to change our minds, no, you don't even need to ask. ALL responses from guys will be deleted and blocked, ok? got it? great, lets move on.  Here is who we are and what we're looking for. We're a couple, I'm bi and mostly submissive, can be very Domme with the right lady. He's straight and Dom. We're seeking a bi-sub-switch lady to join us in our endeavours. Sometimes, we'd like for you to "take charge" of me, and show me how to be the best slut I can be for my Master.
If this interests you, let us know. Please be rather local, we're not going to travel to some far off planet. Texas is good, no need to schedule a road trip to Oregon, although we hear its nice, we don't need to go that far to have a good time.  

Understand that I do not play alone, never will, don't bother asking. He does, with my a-ok of course. We're now sick and tired of fakes that set up a meeting then flake out on us. From this point forward, ALL people that wish to have a real life meeting will be voice verified BEFORE any details of any meeting are forthcoming.

If you are uncomfortable with that, deal with it.

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9/19/2010 8:26:05 AM
I am constantly amazed at the level of bullshite people will swallow.
Theres a "sub" on here that writes a journal every day, sometimes twice a day.
I'm not saying "shes" fake, but this person should be writing fiction professionally.

Let me see if anyone buys any of this.
The chick is married,the hubby is a federal agent(what this has to do with anything I dunno)  but she has a Dom that lives with them.
This Dom has her service him daily, or more, and her attire while home is bra and thong. So far, not implausible.
This Dom instructs she dress like a slut and take off to a bodega and a mall, and adult bookstores servicing most anyone that wants it. (again, not implausible)
Now, lo & behold, shes "sold" for a week to some other Dom.
In addition, her hot friend/next door neighbor and her children have moved in as well. (they must sleep in shifts, or have a really big McMansion).
This friend is now servicing the Dom, and wears the same next to nothing, AND, oh by the way, both of the chicks are now serviceing some 19 year old boys regularly, along with doing the bodega and adult bookstore thing. Oh, yea, sometimes they go to a local bar dressed as sluts and service strangers there too.

Holy smokes, what a country, eh?
Of course, there is no independent verification, no word from the Dom on here that "won" her for a week... Her Dom, the guy directing this porn movie of a life, doesn't have an account on here, "he's far too busy" ...
Of course he is, directing these two sluts around all day and night, fucking them both multiple times a day, I'm surprised his forehead hasn't caved in due to all the cum he's givin' out willy-nilly.
  Now, if you'd like to meet this sub, forget it, she's all about the Dom, period. If you'd like to meet the Dom, you've got to be female, a slave, and hot, and there might be a chance "she" will put you in touch with him. (but all contact will go thru "her")
ok, got it.
I can't wait for the next installment of the adventures.

7/11/2010 12:04:38 PM
Rant over.
Hey, we're looking for LIVE women (not gurls, kids, trannies, girls with dicks...)
~Women~,
you know, sit down to pee, shave your legs, have a va-jay-jay that you were born with...ladies, 
to come take control of the sub half. Show her what, and how to please the man. make her do things she's only dreamed about. Tease her, take her, Make her watch what you and I do.
Paddle her, work her over, don't let her "o".
She loves every second of it.

7/11/2010 11:53:07 AM
ok,so we've gandered around the video chat room for a bit.
Just an observation...
Why is it that "Doms" are begging "subs" to git nekkid, "do whutisay, show me your teats... Please show me your hoo-haa" sounds a bit pathetic doesn't it? And you call yourself a Dom?  Give it rest, if the chick wants to be the ultimate attention whore (pronounced "hooo-a") then she will. Without provocation. Riddle me this, do you think you have that kind of power over some chicklet half a world away? Newsflash, Only Chuck Norris has that kind of mind control.  If she wants to suck on a coke bottle and stuff in where the gyno sees, she's doing it because it turns HER on, not because of your ~Domness~. LOL. 

I mean really, fellas, have some self respect

Oh, one more thing... the first line of our profile pretty much sums it up, Is it clear? Does it need re-wording?

We must, cuz we get at least 10 hits from horny sub guys looking for someone to step on their 'nads, or beat 'em with a rubber hose every time we go in there.
~sigh~

alright, one more, one more thing..

Awhile ago, I said something to the effect of "forgive them, they don't know what they don't know"...

theres this "Dom" on here that is 27 and now has his 19 yr old "slave" living with him...
and I quote one of his more "eloquent" passages;  "Yes, I have a job, I own two companies and make around 150.00 a day."
All that? Really?
Mary, Joey and bebe je-zeus, "some" people bill out at twice that rate..hourly has anyone hired an attorney lately?
Wait, those laywerly types went skool... well, so did this guy, has a de-gree an everthing... awe nutrs, so does this guy, in fact, he sez..."worldly knowlegeable in various areas and whatnot"
Buddy... know when  to shut up.
you ain't special, just stoopid.

6/7/2010 4:33:32 AM
Once again, the puppy brigade raises its head.

Look, folks,Lets say you're a 22 year old "Domme"...

I own cars built before you were born. Geez, we've got two boats more than 40 years old, stop thinking you're the first that discovered the sting of the crop, ok?

We know, for example that Roy Orbison wrote & performed "Pretty Woman", not 2 live crew, ok?
50 cent ain't music, its catterwalling. word.

Do us all a favor...
While we do appreciate your zeal, vim & vigor, get some dirt under your shoes first, ok?
Great, menacing eyeshadow and black lipstick doesn 't do a thing for your street cred.
A pair of plastic boots and a whip from electrique boutique doesn't make you Domme... no matter how good your teats look.
 

4/18/2010 7:18:26 AM
And this is exactly what we mean...
from xxx( in new york)
8:49am thank you for message. are you interested in slavegirl 24/ to relocate?

(ok, sorry, had to... lets see where this goes, eh? )

from us, 8:53am
that depends, tell you what, read out profile & journal, let us know if we "fit" what you'd like and let us know....

from xxx 9:02am
I've read your profile and I'm very interested.

from us, 9:04am
Fine, then send us your phone number and we'll take it from there.
(btw, did you know that the photo you posted is from the 1999 panama jack swimsuit edition?)

(sound of crickets chirping) :)

4/18/2010 6:40:42 AM
Welcome to Collarme.fakes...
Where the Men are men. (and so are most of the women)

We used to find it rather amusing when an damsel contacted us, you know the drill, great profile, almost stunning pics, and invitations to 'chat'...

Or the other method was used... "I'm shy" (then why do you send a photo of "you" bent-nosed around some dick?)

"I've got to be careful"... is always cause for some grins. Yea, right, we can see that, due to the "how big is your dick, and will she fuck my ass" comments you're slinging our way.

Or the best ones in our opinion are,  the ones that state in their profile something like...
"if you doubt me then you don't deserve me"...

Honey, sweetie, child....
Are you unaware of EXIF data?
Do you not know about ipsec, whois and tracert?
When you tell us you're in Frisco, but your IP addy says you're logging in from the motel 6 in cleveland, ohio, that raises a flag, no matter how many times you tell us your grandpa is abusing you.

Doll, snuggles, babycakes....
Do you not realize that when you send us a picture of "you" bent over like Mary Lou Retton takin' it up your bum, that we can tell that the pic was taken around the time you'd be about 6 years old?

So, to all the pimply faced 15 year old boys that try to get their jollies off... carry on. We'll try being stupider if you try getting better at it. Ok?

Look, we understand that to a certain percentage of the membership here, not being who you really are is what its all about for you. Thats ok, we get it.
But when called on it, don't take it personal. You just aren't bright enough to pull it off on us.
(if you'd like the profile names of the fakes we've run across, just drop us a note.)


7/6/2009 6:25:05 PM
Speaking only for ourselves, we find it rather humorous that some of the "youngsters" (under 30 mostly) that state in their profile...

"Please be under 40" (or whatever age dujour) I don't want to be involved with my parents" or some such clap-trap.

You have standards, got it. Don't worry, we're not interested in your pretty kitty underoos either.

I tell ya what.
We'll try being younger if y'all try losing oh, 40 lbs. 
Before we get the hate mail, We know we're not Charlie Atlas and Betty Grable (look 'em up)
but, some of y'all are what your mom would call "big boned" and your dad would call FAT.
Back away from the buffet tables, put down the twinkie and coke, grab an apple and a water, ok?
You aren't all Oprah with a thyroid problem.
Its not healthy plain and simple.
We're not judging you, but if you need a Hobiecat sail to cover your ass up, consider talking a walk, or have a serious talk with Richard Simmons.
Please.

1/21/2009 7:59:48 AM
After having conversed with our share of flakes, fakes, wannabe's and morons, here's what we're going to do.

A) if you want to make contact with us, go ahead. make sure you send a RECENT g-rated photo OF YOURSELF, not one filched of the 'net. Theres such a thing as EXIF data you know.

B) Rest assured that within a couple of e-mails, chats, contacts over the "wire" we WILL ask for a voice verification.
Do NOT give us the "we're not ready for that yet" while telling us what you'd like to do with our private parts.

ANY excuse for NOT voice verifying will be met with the see-ya fake ignore for all time button. THATS OUR choice.
thank you, carry on.

9/10/2008 7:16:31 AM
after wandering around here, we'd like to just throw out some observations. these are judgments, just observations. (sorry about the formatting, it looks like they only like a single paragraph, no matter how many hard returns are encoded)


First, We've not seen so many fakes, posers or "wannabe's" since we drove by a plastic surgeons office.

Second, If you got teats and a dick, you're a guy. Not bisexual, not a lesbian, not anything but a guy that likes womens clothes. deal with it, ok? Growing long hair, having fake boobs superglued on doesn't make you a girl. Va-ja-jays do. Sorry 'bout your gender identity issues.

Third. Female Dominants. Yes, the word is DOMINANT. That is the correct and only acceptable spelling. You can't be a "Female Dominate".
You can "Dominate" a person, but if true, your personality is "Dominant". Your vocabulary and comprehension need some work, ok?

Also, We'd like to thank all of the "Professional" Dominants that would like for us to pay for their "services" but... no, get a real job.

If this is your real job, you aren't very good. I mean really, this is a "personals" site, not a post-it noteboard at piggly wiggly. I wouldn't hire a "lifestyle pro that seeks generous" people on a good day, sorry you have to troll for "clients".

Ladies that trowel on the make-up.
Less is more, 'nuff said.

The under 25 crowd that have all the answers for the "lifestyle".
Put down the D&D gameboard, kids, you ain't had time enough to get unpacked.

The fakes that are "hispanic" one week, and "middle eastern" the next. (with different photos) 
 
We haven't smoked too much pot that our short term memory is that far gone. At least TRY to change the profile a little willya, Hmmm?

Maybe we are looking for that "Golden Unicorn", and she'll be as rare as Obama's policy statements, but we'll keep looking.

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elysiumdream
 
 Age: 30
 Long island, New York