Get ready for a vent.  The Internet is a wonderful thing.  It enables to me communicate with people from all over the US and the world.  I enables me to look for things that i need online without having to go from store to store.  Where else could i have bought a pair of jeans for .99?  How else can i attend class with people from all over the US and share in their experiences and work with them?  However, i am finding it is a crutch for some people.  Through this site i have been reunited with an old friend from many years ago and met many new friends, one with whom we had mutual friends in my area and that i was able to develop a great attachment to.

The problem is that i see so many using this wonderful resource as a way for them to fantasize, and i often wonder whether they are able to actually realize their fantasies.  Fantasies are all well and good and one of the great things about BDSM is that we are given the opportunity to live the things that others only fantasize about.  But if you find yourself spending most of your time committing your fantasies on type, i question whether or not you have ever thought about living them in reality.  Do you realize that life isn't just fantasies and if you are looking for a partner, the most important thing is finding out if you connect as human beings first, THEN you move to the fantasies.  Regardless of the interface that connects us, we are still both humans, with human faults, gifts and desires.  No relationship, D/s or otherwise can function without attending to that very important of details.  Who are you really and what do you really want?  If all you want is the fantasy, then i suggest staying in chatrooms or hiring pros.  But if you want a real R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P with someone, poly, mono, D/s, M/s or otherwise, you have to begin with the human element first and go from there.  Everyone essentially wants to be loved, regardless of what they may tell themselves or others, or how they express it.  To be truly loved one has to be truly known, from within.  You can't get to that space by just living in a fantasy.

i am reminded today of the quote by Simone de Beauvoir which says "There are two typies of people, human beings and women, and when women try to act like human beings they are accused of trying to be men".  i might add my own spin on it, that they are accused of being bitches.  If they are submissive they are accused of not being submissive.  When i came out into BDSM i was taught that my submission was my choice and a choice that is not to be made lightly.  That i was to choose to submit to someone i loved and respected and that i had a right to expect them to love and respect me back.  Now i know there are many flavors of D/s, but i believe in myself as a person and a human being.  i have a lot to offer someone.  So why is it so difficult for so many so-called "Masters" to accept that i want respect as well?  Are there really that many subs/slaves out there that want to be treated like dirt?  i've had so many contacts from this site that seemed promising only to have them start invading my personal life at the first contact and becoming greviously offended when i objected.  They seemed surprised that i wasn't interested in talking dirty online.  Geez, aren't there 976 numbers any more?  Or do they just not want to pay the price?  i don't believe i'm alone in believing in the beauty and poetry of a working D/s relatoinship, but more and more i find that there are very few who walk their talk.  i suppose i shouldn't be surprised, this is just a sample of basic human nature.  i'm just tired of having to fight for myself and for the respect i feel i deserve.  If you want it from me, i expect it back.