Only once in your life I truly believe you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and they acutely want to hear more.
You share hopes for the future and dreams even the ones that will never come true. Goals that were never achieved, and disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you cant wait to tell them about it. Knowing they will share in your excitement.
They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you're hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of your self. Never will they hurt your feelings or make you feel like your not good enough, because you are. They would rather build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and beautiful.
There is never any pressure, jealousy, or lies but only a quiet calmness that surrounds you. You can be your self and not worry what they will think about you, because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as: a note, a song, or even a walk becomes a treasure stored safe in their heart.
Memories of your childhood comes back so clear and vivid its like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more saturated, laughter seems apart of a daily routine where before it was irrelevant or didn't matter anymore.
A phone call or two during the day helps you get through the long days at work or school. Their voice brings an instant smile to your face every time. In their presence there is no need for continuous talking, but you can have the most amazing conversation in dead silence.
Things that you have never liked have become your favorites because they like it and you do to. You think of them every second of the day and knowing they are doing the same. Simplicity brings them to mind, like a pale blue sky, a gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.
You open your heart knowing that there is a chance it may be broken one day. Opening your heart will unlock the door of new experiences, love and joy that you could never dream of. Being vulnerable is easy and seems safe. When you feel like running they are in front of you with arms wide open.
You will find strength in knowing you have a true friend and soulmate. They will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worth living. Your only hope and security is knowing they are apart of your life and you are apart of there life. At this moment you are ok, all negative thought gone. This is trust and I now know how to trust.

WHAT THE FUCK  I THOUGHT TODAY WAS GOING TO BE GOOD BUT NOPE MY HEART AND HOPES AND WISHES GETS CRASHED SMASHED AND SPIT ON...

(exact things that crossed my mind from 6-7am this morning)

look.
see.
whats that?
smile.
warm.
fuzzy.
prayers anwsered?
lifes ok?
look.
see.
ask.
worry.
guilt.
pleasure.
guilt.
pleasure.
im sorry?
i love You.
friend?
more?
stop.
look.
see.
what?
confusion?
anger?
disapointment?
crash.
lies.
false.
fuck.
I did it again.
im sorry.
i love You.
always will.
always have.
me?
broken.
was lost.
now understand.
sits.
waits.
meow.

woke up crying and screaming... i hate nightmares...

i just want to go away and hide... forever... im tired of being depressed... i just want it all to go away...

meow

On March 13 I put this journal:

I miss you  
I love you  
I need you  
I want you  
I live you  
I wub you  
I crave you  
I adore you  
I miss you  
I wish you  
I belive you  
I smell you  
I serve you  
I feel you  
I got you  
I love my Sir <3

I need to add more...

I miss  You  
I love  You  
I need  You  
I want  You  
I live  You  
I wub  You  
I crave  You  
I adore  You  
I miss  You  
I wish  You  
I belive  You  
I smell  You  
I serve  You  
I feel You  
I got You

I  long for You

I yearn for You

I am crazy for You

I aspire You

I strive for You
I love my Sir <3

This is all true I still feel these feelings for You

meow

I wish my 11:11 wishes would come true..

meow

getting a tattoo tonight maybe that will cheer me up..... pictures will be up later.. 

meow

i love you.. i miss you.. i need you.. ugh lifes a bitch i want to go back to when i was happy again :( when the bad didnt get me.. i want life to be the same.. :( sad kitty meow.. why cant life go the way we plan.. :( fuck it.. im starting to give up on guys lately.. i always get hurt.. i fall for the wrong ones.. well this guy was the right onw.. but he dosnt want me.. ill be a good girl i promise.. please take me back.. im a good kitty.. i wish i wish with all my might for me to be yours.. but youre happy.. thats all i want.. is for you to be happy.. happy.. thats all.. 

meow

FINALLY MOVED INTO MY APARTMENT!!

i finally graduated yay!

wow its almost been a month since i posted well to keep every one updated in my life

got kicked out

about to graduate highschool

finally got my license renewed( took me a good 2 months)

moved in with my aunt and uncle

and i got a new phone number

also have been more dominate lately but im still naturally submissive :)

i love you!

i love my Sir so much he bought me a kitty build a bear to suggle up with <3

awe alone tonight sir passed out :(((

YAY!! i finished my community service 

forced aginst my ownn will for this post ahhhhhh i have 9 more seconds!!!!ahhhhh

i am p his little princess i will be <3

i love my sir he is such a good protector

i do enjoy sir singing me to sleep :) every time he does he makes the nightmares go away <3

i miss kitty....i feel like i dont know her anymore...

:( sad day and this next week is going to be hard....

im a good kitty meow ='.'=