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paigan72

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Friends:
teacherdomTheLawSDI2007TomWonderLovingDom2
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I'm a passionate, genuine, and devoted submissive. I'm honest and loyal and expect the same from my partner. I firmly believe that honest and open communication is the crux of any relationship, but it's even more crucial in a BDSM relationship. Without trust, you have nothing.

I've been in the lifestyle for 18 years and have learned many lessons, some harder to learn than others. I still feel the need to go further, to delve deeper and learn to let myself go more than I am capable of doing now.

I love to make people laugh. I'm very playful, witty, and often a smart-ass, but never - ok, almost never - in a mean-spirited way. Some people may mistake this for being a brat. I am NOT a brat. As I said, I just like to make people laugh, even if at themselves.

I have a comprehensive fetish checklist that's available for the asking. My main interests are control, discipline, spanking/caning, and flogging.. I also ADORE rope!!! Tie me up, bind my hands and I can just disappear into the bliss. There are several types of ties that I would like to do now but can't due to flexibility issues, but I'm working on that. I've seen so many beautiful ties, by so many talented rope tops, 2 or 3 of which are my favorites. I currently have a scene sister who i let tie me up while she is learning the ropes. (Yes, I am so very sorry for that pun, but that's exactly what she's doing.). Whips have become another current article of curiosity for me.
I’m searching for a daddy-type Dom who wants a 24/7 submissive to teach, guide, play with, mentor, and care for in a long-term D/s, DD relationship. Intelligence, honesty, a sense of humour, class & manners (yes, i want a gentleman who will beat me black and blue then open the door for me as we exit the room), an open mind, a firm hand, fairness, understanding, affectionate, and able to apologize when He's wrong - these are all characteristics i'm looking for. Oh, and single. i don't do poly and i won't be second to a wife, girlfriend, other subs, etc. I will put you at the top of my world. I want to be at the top of yours.

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8/6/2016 7:14:21 PM
Dammit. I think I may have fucked up. Perhaps if I had worded things differently, the situation would have turned out differently.  He seemed like a decent guy with an accent as sexy as hell. Maybe I should have worded things differently or perhaps I'm just disappointed, lonely and tired.

7/25/2016 6:54:41 AM
RE: My journal entry of 6/26

As I've received a fair few questions about this post and the outcome following, I thought I would go ahead and let everyone off the proverbial hook.  The entry was regarding my very new Dom of 2 weeks. We hit it off, then we hit a bump and he decided to end it. I was a bit upset but got over it within a couple of days.  I think it was actually the sting of rejection that upset me, more than breaking up with that Dom, specifically. 

P.S.  In case you're wondering, he broke it off with me because he believed that i am a "druggie".  I do take a number of prescribed meds, but i can assure you that i do not take any of them recreationally. I am D&D&STD free and will remain so.

6/26/2016 9:06:58 PM
My stomach is in knots. I've waited and waited, tomorrow it's time. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

6/24/2016 8:58:13 PM
Whatever happened to rationale and logic? Aren't those the tools of solving a dilemma? You have a problem and you think about it and work it out by looking at the facts of the matter. Maybe it's just me.

6/24/2016 2:11:04 PM
It's a vicious comedy how a few words put the wrong way can cause misunderstandings and wreak such havoc in the human heart.

6/11/2016 6:54:04 PM
Someone pinch me - no, wait. If this is a dream, i don't want to wake up!

5/17/2016 4:45:09 PM
If you aren't interested in a person, have the courage to send a simple note saying so. It's only polite and it doesn't take much.  A simple "No thanks" goes a very long way.

5/14/2016 11:33:26 AM
Doing my homework this time, so it won't play out like last time. I may be sentimental, but I'm not stupid.

5/12/2016 5:19:12 PM
I should SO be up and cleaning my apartment instead of messing around on Collarspace! It's the bathbrush if it's not totally clean by Saturday. :(  I HATE that thing!!!

5/7/2016 6:24:44 PM
For the love of god, you are NOT a "dominate"! If you call yourself a Dom, then you are a DOMINANT. One is a verb, the other a noun. A "dominant" is one who "dominates". This really isn't rocket science.

12/19/2015 9:28:11 AM
This season seems to be flying by. Hold it! Slow down! I'm not ready for it to be over. I haven't even put up my decorations yet!  

12/18/2015 5:29:39 PM
In less than a week I will be with family that I haven't seen in over 20 years - my sisters and brother, nieces and nephew, and now grand nieces and nephew! I can't believe I'm a "grand" anything at 43, but I can't wait to meet them and hold them in my arms. I'm very excited, but I can't help but be just a little bit scared. My main question for this trip is "How do we avoid this happening again?"  I don't want the next time I see my family to be for a funeral.

9/10/2015 8:16:39 PM
Newly single, hanging out with a couple of friends, practicing rope. The chest harness I'm in is just a teensy bit constricting and feels so good against my skin.  3 cheers for rope!

3/7/2014 6:49:44 PM

I've started getting very close to someone, so i'm not actually looking to get involved with anyone else at this time.


2/12/2014 7:51:05 AM

I have taken the BDSM Orientation quiz My results were 93% submissive, 86% masochist, 71% bondage and 0% dominant. Sounds about right to me.

 

According to the BDSM Purity quiz, i'm 57% pure. I think i may need to work on that!


2/12/2014 6:52:13 AM

Guilt is a completely personal issue with me. I've always had problems processing guilt and have been propelled into some pretty deep depressions because of it. That is why it is such a significant issue with me. If my sense of guilt for something i've done wrong doesn't get released, it just lies there, dormant in the back of my mind, festering and growing whenever i feel guilt about something else. It just builds and builds until i end up acting out just to get myself punished on purpose so i can release it all.

 

The approach i'm seeking is from the perspective of a guardian and his teenaged ward. I hesitate to say father and daughter because that's just not my thing, but it does involve that sense of control over and concern for a young ward that is still learning and growing. The guardian would be responsible for that ward's welfare, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Maybe it would resonate stronger to think of it as total power exchange between Dom and sub. The Dom is in total control of most if not all aspects of the sub's life. Yeah, there's some micromanaging involved, but it's really not as difficult as it sounds and can actually be quite rewarding for the Dom. After all, he is able to watch his submissive blossom and grow into the best person he or she can possibly be all because of his or her Dom's guidance.  He can rightfully take pride in his sub's accomplishments within the relationship and without.  They were made possible by him. Make sense?


1/29/2014 4:43:29 PM

What i Need From You

 

I wrote this as a not so subtle nudge for my now ex-Dom. He wasn't very good at the communication aspect of our relationship, so I thought this might get him to be more talkative. It didn't. Constructive comments are welcome.

  • I need Your time and attention. Not all of it, but more than 5-10 minutes once or twice a week.
  • I need Your interest in how my day went or what kind of week i'm having.
  • I need You to want more from me than sexual performances on web cam.
  • I need to hear Your voice on a regular basis.
  • I need You to need to hear my voice on a regular basis.
  • I need to know that You will protect me, especially from myself.
  • I need to know that You will take care of me while i take care of You.
  • I need You to guide me, support me when there's a goal i can't seem to reach.
  • I need You to train me to be the submissive You want to own and have serve You.
  • I need to talk with You, laugh with You, and just be happy to be with You....whether online, on the phone, or in person.
  • I need praise from You when i've done something right.
  • I need consistent discipline from You when i've messed up.
  • I need You to hold me when i'm down....and when i'm happy....and lots of times in between.
  • I need to know more about You. How do You take Your coffee? Who do You root for during football season? Are You a night owl or a morning person? Boxers or briefs?
  • I need You to show me, not just tell me, that i'm important to You.
  • I need You to care what i do - or don't do - to my body, about my health and how i'm treating myself.
  • I need to snuggle with You.
  • I need You to expect the best from me in my service to You and all other aspects of my life.
  • I need to believe that i matter.
  • I need to know that You cherish my submission as much as i cherish Your dominance.

1/19/2014 1:01:19 PM

I just sent a message to a Dom on this site and thought that most of what i wrote might strike a chord with a lot of others, dominant and submissive alike. I sincerely hope the recipient of my original message doesn't mind my posting what was basically the note i sent to him, but i really wanted some others' opinions and thoughts on this topic. So here goes:

 

It always intrigues and slightly confuses me when a Dom or sub/slave or what have you tries to connect with a vanilla partner. Granted sometimes those connections work out, but i think that's the exception rather than the rule. When one of U/us is in a relationship with a vanilla, don't you find that we are suppressing, even denying the core of who we are? In doing so we fail to flourish within the relationship as the most authentic souls we can be and really, isn't that at least part of what a relationship is for? Bringing together people who bring out the best in each other, guiding one another in their growth as both a unit as as individuals? That's why i personally stopped looking for a vanilla partner years ago, realizing that i could never be happy unless i was given the freedom to be the submissive that i am hard-wired to be. I also believed it would be unfair to the vanilla man I was with. I wouldn't be able to be my whole self with him, to give him every part of me as i would do with a Dominant. The vanilla man would deserve my best in the relationship, but because he wouldn't get that part of me, i would never be able to give it to him. I couldn't treat someone that way. If you can't give all of you, i think you shouldn't give part of you. A relationship can't work if both partners aren't in it all the way. Does that make sense? It always intrigues and slightly confuses me when a Dom or sub/slave or what have you tries to connect with a vanilla partner. Granted sometimes those connections work out, but i think that's the exception rather than the rule. When one of U/us is in a relationship with a vanilla, don't you find that we are suppressing, even denying the core of who we are? In doing so we fail to flourish within the relationship as the most authentic souls we can be and really, isn't that at least part of what a relationship is for? Bringing together people who bring out the best in each other, guiding one another in their growth as both a unit as as individuals? That's why i personally stopped looking for a vanilla partner years ago, realizing that i could never be happy unless i was given the freedom to be the submissive that i am hard-wired to be. I also believed it would be unfair to the vanilla man I was with. I wouldn't be able to be my whole self with him, to give him every part of me as i would do with a Dominant. The vanilla man would deserve my best in the relationship, but because he wouldn't get that part of me, i would never be able to give it to him. I couldn't treat someone that way. If you can't give all of you, i think you shouldn't give part of you. A relationship can't work if both partners aren't in it all the way. Does that make sense?


7/27/2013 9:59:38 AM

I'm going to be away from CollarMe for a few days. My beautiful, wonderful, beloved cat, Simon, was brutally shot with a pellet gun and killed earlier this week. This tragic event has hit me very hard and I need some time away to mourn. I hope anyone this affects will understand.  I'll be back as soon as I can.


2/8/2010 7:43:46 AM
There should be a disclaimer and some sort of screening device in place on this site. You're IQ must be at least -this high- before you are allowed to send messages to other users. Those that don't measure up are welcome to use the junior rides - where the pace is slower and the words are shorter to accommodate your lack of basic intelligence and/or social skills. Maybe we could implement some sort of rebus picture icon system or phonics program for the unfortunately high number of users who can not read.

9/22/2009 8:48:59 PM
Before one calls oneself "Dom", one should at the very least be familiar with the terminology. If you claim to believe that a "true sub" has no limits, then kindly remove the term "Dom" from your self-description, as you are nothing more than a poser. A slave may not have limits, but a sub, yes a "true" sub, can, and often does, have limits not exclusive to those dictated by law.

9/14/2009 2:35:41 PM
Honestly, can people on this site READ or do they just go about writing to someone after simply looking at the pictures without bothering to read the very FIRST LINE of the written profile????? Or is it that they just have such little respect for the person to whom they are writing that they totally disregard what that person has written in their profile? Profiles are written for a reason. If you can't be bothered to read my profile, DON'T BE BOTHERED TO WRITE TO ME!!!!

9/4/2009 5:07:45 PM
I used to be at ease on this site, knowing that I wouldn't be bombarded with pictures of cocks on every search page, unlike some other BDSM personals sites. Unfortunately, it seems as though the so-called "Doms" who use such pics as the main one on their profiles have become more common here. I'm not referring to those who post nude photos as secondary pics, just the ones using it as their profile pic. Why is it that someone would prefer to introduce themselves with their dick rather than their face? Is that how they would initiate contact at, say, a nightclub? Just walk up to a girl and whip it out - is that honestly supposed to impress her? Or is it that the men that post those photos for all to see (willingly or not) aren't interested in the actual person they're looking for, but instead are only after whatever they can attract with a piece of fruit. 

4/23/2009 2:41:23 PM
Why is it that most of the Doms i've talked to seem to think that being in this lifestyle gives them license to behave like horny teenagers?

At the very least, wait til our second conversation before you ask to see my crotch.

*See Advice entry #1.

4/23/2009 2:39:00 PM
Advice #2: How do you expect me to respect you as a Dom, if i can't respect you as a man?

2/3/2009 7:59:15 PM

Advice:  If you cannot respect me as a human being, don't expect me to respect you as a Dom.  Being dominant does not exclude one from basic manners, civility, and common courtesy.


1/27/2009 6:27:07 AM
Please take note of the following: DO NOT write to me if you are female, a couple, or a switch.  I'm ONLY interested in single men and i do not switch.  The same goes if you are under 30 or over 50. I'm looking for someone closer to my own age. No exceptions.

1/25/2009 8:45:05 AM
I feel those on this site who respond to a respectful reply of "no thank you" in kind are the few "real" people here.  To those who become offended and send whining, childish replies demonstrating personal insecurities - grow up and learn to control yourselves before you even consider trying to control someone else.

7/12/2008 8:02:36 AM
i have recently begun chatting with a Master from here and i'm very excited to see where it leads.  :)

7/4/2008 9:04:19 AM
A simple request :

If i write to you and you are not interested, please take a moment to write a polite note to that effect.  All i ask is to receive the same degree of courtesy that i do my best to give to others.

6/13/2008 10:34:13 AM
Why is it that men just drop off the face of the earth after talking a few times?  If you are no longer interested, instead of just disappearing, have the balls to say so.

5/25/2008 3:13:40 PM
i feel the need to make something a little clearer.  i may be looking for a UK Dom, but i am not looking for an online/cyber relationship.  True, it will have to begin that way, but i want it to lead to very RL.  i want to relocate to the UK.

5/19/2008 8:47:58 AM
i think i may have met someone special.... again, time will tell

5/6/2008 9:07:10 AM
Could there actually be a light at the end of a tunnel...that isn't an oncoming train??  Time will tell...

4/29/2008 2:30:59 PM
disheartened...tired of game players

4/27/2008 6:01:57 PM
wholly disenchanted, optimism waning

4/27/2008 4:10:39 PM
Please, please, PLEASE read my entire profile before contacting me!!!  It could save us both a lot of time.

4/19/2008 10:18:40 AM
There are some truly frightening people out there.  It would be humorous actually, if it weren't for the fact that these people can procreate.

i just received 2 emails.  One telling me what a professional, well rounded, charmer this man was supposed to be.  The second, from the same person, was the reaction of the 2 yr old, terrified of rejection, who lay beneath that charismatic facade put forth in the initial contact.  It was nothing short of the vulgar rantings of a child who throws a tantrum when not having gotten its own way.

It is in this vein, that i would like to take the opportunity to thank those of you who have responded, with the grace that one would imagine comes with the experience of age, to replies that have simply stated that we are not what the other is seeking. 

4/19/2008 9:38:24 AM

Men who are looking to find "women who know their place" don't belong on CollarMe. They need to carry their wannabe asses back to the caves where they belong.  This lifestyle isn't a facade for chauvinists to hide behind, so one CAN NOT call oneself Dom because one feels women are "beneath" or "less than". That merely makes one look foolish, unstudied (try reading some books about matriarchal societies), and similar in brain function to the 10yr old "i'm bigger so i'm better" mentality of a schoolyard bully!  The idea is laughable.


4/16/2008 12:12:44 PM
Why is it that some "Doms" on here think that you're supposed to start submitting to them the first time you make contact???  Just because i'm a submissive doesn't make me THEIR submissive and doesn't give them the right to expect my instant obedience at their whim.  Submission is a very special gift - not something to be tossed out to every Tom, Dick and Domly that comes by!

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chubbytina
 
 Age: 39
 Rotterdam, Netherlands