OtakuBlade

like my first journal entry only a couple weeks ago I have recently had a moment of inspiration.  the first journal entry was me reading a profile on here that awoke an assertive nature in me I hadn't felt before.  this new sensation was when I was chatting online with a potential slave but not on here.  it was probably over a week ago, I could check my logs to find out when possibly but it doesn't matter.  this new sensation was almost an opposite to the first entry I made.  me and this potential slave discussed what I was looking for as in a woman to own completely in total power exchange and to exploit and treat as an object, the usual.  she agreed eagerly with what I wanted except she mentioned wanting love to be part of the interaction as she was used.  I replied that I was not interested in a romance or girlfriend or wife.  she agreed that she also was not interested in romance so I asked her to define the love she mentioned.  it was hard to explain and took a while of back and forth before I could pull something out of her that made it more clear to me.  but as she tried to explain I had a vision of a woman submissive and sensual, seductive, a look of desire and devotion on her face and in how she moved her body, arched her back while on her knees and on all fours as a slave.  and I imagined myself reaching out with a soft, gentle, sensual touch to the slave woman not a cold exploiting hand grasping at her flesh nor an aggressive disciplinary hand reaching out to subdue, force, and torture her.  this touch was not submissive at all.  it was a quiet dominance, a gentle assertiveness, an exploration of her body and her "soul" as a good metaphor I guess through contact, to discover her reactions, how to build lust and need in her rather than take coldly.  to create devotion on her face as she looked at me.  that was a big thing, eye contact.  the slave is to have head bowed looking away in submission but maluable allowing me the owner to guide her to look into my eyes as I begin to explore every sensation of her body for mutual pleasure and to dominate her senses, dominate her sensuality, dominate her entire being.  now this does not negate the surge of predatory emotion I felt previously as I described in my first entry.  this is to compliment that sensation.  I have not dismissed any of my previous notions or desires only expanded to include new ones.  I want to coldly exploit women at times and at times I want to conquer them aggressively but not abusively and I want to dominate and explore them sensually.  I am interested in all three but do not require all three either necessarily.  with my lack of experience I am not certain how to define what I am after in this respect.  do I want all three in each slave I find? am I alright with each slave being just one element?  am I alright with not finding all these elements only having one or two at all?  I can't answer these questions yet.  however I do know I still am not interested in a romance, not looking for a girlfriend slave or slave girlfriend or slave wife or wife slave and certainly not simply a girlfriend or wife.  in that regard I still do not want a romance only slaves to own but I am interested in having a sensuality with a slave, a connection with them, something more than can be described.

it has occured to me that I should touch on the subject of respect with regard to women.  as you may have seen in my profile so far I am honest and direct even blunt.  I do not apologize for what I want.  I am shallow and selfish and even likely unrealistic.  I do not claim to deserve anything only what I want and what I look for.  if I get what I want that is great, if I don't get what I want well then I don't.  with respect to women, I respect equal rights as a general rule for society.  in the work place or the general public all should be equal.  but I also see equality in choosing to give over those rights to someone else, to ask to be degraded or treated as inferior if you want to be.  I am looking for women who desire to be owned, subjigated, exploited, degraded, objectified.  if you like that then I am happy to do that to you but if you don't that is fine too we might become friends or just say thanks but no thanks and go our seperate ways.  I am fine that there are Dommes in the world but as a Dom that makes us incompatible as anything other than friends in the lifestyle.  I show respect through being honest and focusing first and foremost on consent ahead of time.  however once an understanding is met knowing that what is desired is control, use, degradation and the like and that is accepted freely then that is what you should expect.  I will not be nice to a slave because society norms say I should be.  the slave wants to be degraded and I want to degrade and so that is what I do.  I try to follow two thoughts when dealing with people in the lifestyle.  you must respect limits.  do not push beyond limits too much, yes people like their limits pushed or expanded but there is a limit on how forcefully, how far, or how fast you push someone.  second thing is to respect the desires of others.  if someone else is into a fetish you find weird or disgusting then like above say thanks but no thanks and walk away.  as long as they find someone who matches their fetish then more power to them and also if you find somenoe who is much lighter into the lifestyle they are not to be considered pretend or not serious or a wannabe simply because they are not as hard core as you are.  that is how I define respect.  you are who you are and as long as you allow others be who they are then it is none of my business.

late last night I read a profile that inspired a strength and Dominance in me I hadn't had before.  I have always wanted to be in control but the way to describe it at this moment was a desire for that control to be given to me.  now I am highly concerned with consent even now wanting to make sure that the slave clearly understands what is expected before proceeding however in the past I have thought of resisting slaves as too much of a headache and not worth the effort but one profile I recently read awoke a beast in me, an alpha male predator in me.  from reading this profile I felt a sense of needing to be put in their place, a desperation to be conquered and owned completely but also making it clear that they liked to resist by saying no and being disrespectful and was just begging and waiting for someone to make her submit forcefully.  this awoke something in me.  a burst of feeling and emotion and desire to claim a slave.  I still have my moral center wanting full consent ahead of time but now no longer was I only interested in overly submissive humble slaves eager to please.  I now also desire a slave I can conquer, discipline, make to whimper out of force, to torture into submission, to teach them to worship me.  a highly aggressive feeling but tempered and under control.  a new boldness.  to take what I want rather than accepting what is offered.  but don't get me wrong I would also enjoy accepting what is offered but now I have expanded and made stronger by this new sensation and urge.