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| I am not your lover, brother, father or friend. I do not want to take long walks on the beach, hold hands watching the sun set or impress your mother.
I do however want to make you salivate at the sound of my voice like one of pavlovs dogs, make you forget all the things they told you good girls want and replace it with the things you and I know that really make a good girl good. I want to make you remember what it felt like to feel things before you got convinced you had to think things through, what it feels like to be who you are instead of who they said you should be, and the difference between existing and living.
Forget all the pretty ribbons and bows they have convinced you that you need to wrap up your submission in to offer it to me as a gift, I dont want it if it doesnt claw its way to me on its belly, I dont want it if it doesnt pant breathlessly gasping for the air only I can supply, I dont want it if doesnt scream in your head and ring in your ears, I dont want it if its something you do, only come to me if it is someone you are. Only then will I take it, only then will I rip it from your soul and place it at my feet, only when I know you realize you are here because it is the only place you feel complete, only when I know you realize that what drives you to give is your need to be taken, only when I know you truly embrace the person that you dont see when you look in the mirror will I lock you in the chains of your freedom. I accept no less, so dont reason with me, dont try and rationalize what cant be understood, just accept it, because I do, and when I see you standing at the very edge, I will lose no sleep from pushing you over.
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The gosling liked me but then I was good to her and gave her grapes.
Don't get any ideas, you're not a gosling. |
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You need to be used and I need someone to use, see we do have something in common. |
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Searching for a complete slave and yes that includes housework |
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Should a slave be concerned about what's done to her or more concerned about the owner that will do whatever he wants too her? |
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Of what use will he be to you if you like everything he says?
When talking to prospective slaves they always want to know what I will make them do, when they should be asking how I will get them to do what I want them to do. |
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I'm seeking someone that would really want to live as O did and experience the things that O experienced, in a setting much as O was in. She will also need to suffer as O did. |
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I want to own a girl in a very physically visceral way. |
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Mostly what i like to see in profiles is Obedience, Control and Ownership |
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Are there really slaves that do as they're told?
If so I want some. |
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Come, I want to hurt you, make you cry, taste your tears |
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How may i control you today? |
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Just lovers and romance are easy to find, I want a slave to have and to keep. |
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I want to shove my fist down your throat and take hold of your heart. |
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I’m a straight perverted sadistic Dominant, want to know more ask. |
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Do you desire to be taken to a deep dark place beyond the twilight zone? |
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Can someone tell me what's wrong with sexual brutality, isn't that why she is there? |
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I'v been told I'm too sensual and soft to be a true dominate. |
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You probably came here because of the cute little gosling, I hope you read on because of me |
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The woman I seek has an aching void in the pit of her stomach and will serve me to fill it |
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I want to control the very air you breathe
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I don't care if you call yourself a slave or a submissive, all I want to know is how "OBEDIENT" are you |
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I’m not interested in how much pain you enjoy, I’m only interested in how much pain you can endure. |
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I’m seeking a woman that desires to become property and be objectified. |
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are you the person the person you want, wants |
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If you want what I am then you will have to do what I want |
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Are you crazy, you don’t want me
while I don’t really know if I’m a sadist or not, I do like to hurt girls
I like them to have a little bit of fear of me. Once in a while to keep that fear alive I’ll beat her bad, painfully bad or make her do that certain thing she loathes. I’ll take her there and rub her face in it and make her eat the thing she hates.
And that night I’ll sleep peacefully while she lies there silently and still so as not to disturb me seething and wanting to kill me. |
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i'm in a mood to hurt a woman, watch her cry real tears |
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there are no wonderful men that would be masters
there are men that you would at times love and at times hate
there are men that would use that to take control of you and own you
there are no wonderful men that would be masters |
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Nature made me an arrogant egotistical son of a bitch and nature supplied me with you for my pleasure. |
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I will make the best happen for she who will obey |
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Where is the woman that doesn’t need to know ahead of time but will obey when it is needed? |
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I want a woman to come to me without a future so that I may give her one |
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if this is difficult to read I'll send it to you in email
February 26, 2006
(revised April 23, 2006, 12:33 PM)
(Every so often I like to write an essay on what d/s means to me, it brings it into sharper focus and is like a record of my evolution in d/s)
First a d/s relationship is just that, a relationship, it can begin and fail just like any other relationship and for much the same reasons. What makes it different is the added d/s component. Now we have the relationship which can be difficult enough, now layer on d/s and it can be even more complicated, making it even more prone to failure. It takes a dominant that understands the d/s dynamic and comes to understand his submissive to make it work.
I’ve come to learn that the what is not so important as to the why. If I can understand the why I may be able to get the what. Her motivations are more important than her likes or dislikes of the moment, what does she really want out of the relationship? Is it just the kinky sex or a relationship that includes kinky sex? Understanding the submissives mind will enable the dominant to fulfill his desires and use her to the fullest extent possible.
I see a lot of women’s bios that to me indicate they greatly misunderstand the potential of d/s. How can you tell what you’ll like till after you been with someone for some time. I’ve seen many submissive women change their likes and dislikes over time when involved with a dominant. I’ve even noticed something may or may not be enjoyable under different circumstances and with changes of mood. Submissives aren’t robots to be programed to constantly react the same way all the time.
Compromises are a key determinant in the success or failure of any relationship. The question is who makes the greatest compromise. For me that would be the submissive woman. I cant understand how a woman would want a man that easily and extensively compromised his desires, to suite her. To my way of thinking not the best definition of “ DOMINANT”. Which is not to say there is no compromise on his part but rather that his primary desires remain intact. After all we’re dealing with real life here. Some seem to not realize that.
When asked did he enjoy writing, Mark Twain once answered “ I enjoy having written”, it is much the same way for submissive women, to enjoy having been made to do something more than the act itself, a real sign of submissiveness. Some realize a sense of accomplishment from that, “ see, I did that for you”. Is it submission to only do what she already wants to do? Where’s the submission in that?
Would I tell a women I would respect her limits, “no”. Would I ever force something on her that I felt she really couldn’t handle, “no”. Would I try to get her to the point that she could, “absolutely”. Not that she would necessarily enjoy the what but she would enjoy the why and the why is that it pleases me. And what could be more important than that?
Its my opinion that women should forget their limits and try to find a man who’s limits they could live with. We do have our limits, really we do. If the woman can live with his limits, then its unlikely he’ll ever ask her to exceed them.
To me d/s is what we are, not what we do. What we do is sometimes kinky sex, sometimes not. Even in our most relaxed moments we are still d/s. D/s is primarily a state of mind.
The thoughtful dominants philosophy should be consistent and easy to understand, it should make sense in a kinky sort of way and his compatible submissive woman should feel comfortable living within it. It should speak to the very center of her being. His rules should be simple to understand the submissive should under most circumstances know what is acceptable and what is not when her dominant isn’t present.
If submission is surrender then she should surrender to his desires and put her desires aside. Some women bring a lot of vanilla moral baggage to the d/s relationship, thinking that if they don’t go too far they wont be so bad. This idea keeps them from fully realizing their potential as a submissive woman. I say to them, that if I’m in control that I’m morally responsible for what I desire and she is blameless for her actions while under my control. After all a good dominant does take advantage of her desire to please and should assume responsibility for his instructions to her. Society will judge her harshly no matter how far she does or does not go in pleasing her dominant. As the old English saying goes “ in for a penny, in for a pound”.
Safety in a d/s relationship is primarily the dominants responsibility as he is in control. Submissive women in the heat of passion may not realize when things are going too far, making safe words next to useless. A responsible dominant should be observant and able to recognize danger signs when they occur. He should have taken the time to study his submissive and easily recognize when she may be entering a stressful condition. To a responsible dominant the study of his submissive is something enjoyable, (a labor of love not a task of work) , to understand how she reacts to his desires. A submissives body often speaks more clearly than her words. Maturity and caring in a dominant are more important than so called years of experience and all the safe words that can be imagined.
References. What do extensive references really mean? Could it be that he has done nothing but scening with many bottoms, that he has several failed relationships? It doesn’t mean that he maybe has had a successful lasting relationship, or that he would be good with any particular submissive woman. A sense of maturity is worth more than all the references in the world. I was part of the “ scene” for years even being on the board of the Black Rose of Washington DC and left because there didn’t seem to be much intimacy between players in the “ scene”. So would I want to provide references, no. Once at a play party in which I didn’t take much part a bottom came up to me and said she had wanted to see me in action, she didn’t seem to understand my answer that there wouldn’t have been much to see , as much of what I do is communicative. Just talking to her can be more dominating than the hardest spanking, but this usually works only with a submissive you have an emotional attachment to.
Why having to travel long distances to meet for most people hardly ever works. When a great distance has to be traveled to meet, one or both may have to expend a great deal of time and resources for the meeting. There is the question of lodging and sleeping arrangements. After all that there is such an urge to make it work that one or both may not act their natural selves. Then there’s the situation of having to make a decision of weather to continue the relationship based on one meeting that may not have been up to expectations. Whereas meeting someone close-by not a great deal is invested in the first meeting and if it doesn’t go perfectly the decision to meet again is easier to make, to see if things develop more satisfactorily. Love at first sight usually isn’t attainable, especially when as I said previously the d/s aspect is layered on top of the basic relationship. To find out if your compatible in the d/s aspect of each other first a level of comfort in each others presence has to be established, and this may take time and more than one meeting. Unless you plan on spanking at first sight. Highly not recommended.
Submissive wants verses needs and the myth of the perfect dom. All submissive women seem to want the ever elusive perfect dom, elusive because he doesn’t exist. They dream up extensive lists of the perfect dominants traits leaving out the most important dominant trait, that is he will have his own list. If the dream is to be taken control of then what good is her list? That one fact should supercede all other considerations, that he will be in control, period, end of discussion. As a thought experiment, would a very submissive woman really want a dominant that didn’t push her to fulfill his most cherished desires. Wouldn’t she want to feel that he thought enough of her to push her limits, to really use her? What a novel idea. She needs to surrender to him, not control him. She needs him to take her wants away and fulfill her needs by using her to fulfil his desires. Her perfect dominant isn’t her idea of the perfect dominant.
Early on the submissive woman should realize that she will have to sacrifice her body to the desires of her dominant. That her body is no longer hers to deny its use for her dominants pleasure. The fortunate submissive may realize seventy five percent of which pleases her the other twenty five percent is the sacrifice/payment she has to make for that seventy five percent and her relationship with her dominant. Also that twenty five percent reenforces to her, her true status as her dominants submissive woman.
Now we touch on intimacy.
The first intimacy is the physical intimacy. The unrestricted access and use by the dominant of his submissives body for his enjoyment. That is one of the reasons the submissive is there. She should be prepared at all times to submit to his touch, inspection and use and to posture herself to his desires. He may reenforce this state of her being by often having her assume poses and postures that open her up to his view and touch. He should do so without undue ridicule of her body, making her uncomfortable at opening herself up. This is not to say that she may not be humiliated but that personal mean spirited attacks should be avoided.
The second and ultimate intimacy is that of thought and emotion, the seeing inside her. The thoughts and emotions of the very submissive woman yearn to be set free and absorbed by her dominant. She wants to keep no secrets from him, she wants to be completely open to him, for him to know her better than she knows herself. This is the most delicate aspect of the relationship and he should handle it with much care, thought and understanding. For badly done it could destroy the relationship and badly damage her. He has to understand that they are her thoughts and she may not be entirely responsible for them. He should listen without ridicule or negative comment even if they are negative thoughts about himself. He asked the question now its up to him to deal with the answers. For without this approach how can he truly understand her and over time bring her to understand and accept his desires as her own. This is the ultimate meaning of control.
Respect and how it can ruin the d/s relationship. I know those are fighting words. For the dominant to extract his desires from his submissive he cant be overly concerned with displaying respect for her. After all if he’s to humiliate and objectify her, to show too much respect would only be a hindrance. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t respect her, he certainly should for her own accomplishments and for what he has made of her, I meant that, that respect shouldn’t prevent him from using her to fulfill his desires. She should know his respect and relish it. And through her deeds and service increase his respect for her. After all he’s going to use her in ways he would never try with women to whom he had to socially show respect. The submissive woman doesn’t want an overly hesitant dominant always afraid he’s hurting her feelings. Her desire is “ grab me, slap me, throw me down and use me”. Not normally considered respectful behavior, but it’s a hell of a lot more fun. Respect she can get anywhere, raw use is what she craves from her man or why else is she there? Submission is the giving up of power and free will, and with that power goes the demand for respect. Anything else is just playing at d/s. In a happy viable relationship the question of respect never comes up. Why should it after all both are getting out of the relationship what they need. The question of respect is a symptom of a troubled relationship. When reality is accepted for what it is then it can be incorporated into the relationship making it stronger.
Years of lifestyle experience and the gift of submission. O, please. First off, it’s not a gift, she craves to be there in fact she may even be desperate to be there. I know it’s not the common fantasy, but it is the reality. She craves the use the dominant puts her to. It’s an inner need, it’s not a chosen need. Who in their right mind would choose to be either a dominant or a submissive? life in the vanilla world is so much easier. Being a good dominant takes desire, thought, work and persistence few men can comprehend. When I first began to understand what my dominant feelings meant, I joined the scene so to say, I came to realize early on that after attending a few meetings most any submissive woman was ruined, and would need years of intense psychotherapy at the hands of a good dominant to set her mind right. They were filled with the idea that she was in charge and that she was a precious commodity to be cherished and respected. She was imbued with idea that she could just say “no” and all would be well. When in fact that was farthest from what she needed. Most dominants prefer someone with little so called “lifestyle experience” but great desire and need. He prefers to teach her himself to be the object of his desires. Self education may exercise the fantasy but does little or nothing to prepare her for the reality of a d/s relationship. After all fantasies are episodic, d/s is full time. Big difference.
Next up humiliation and objectification. Humiliation and objectification are two closely related attributes. Humiliation comes about when there’s a conflict between how she was brought up to behave and how her dominant is having her behave. She finds this conflict both disturbing and sexually exciting. The act of being made to do the forbidden because she hasn’t the power to refuse. Saying “no” for her is not so easy and all will not be well if she does. The fear of displeasing and losing her dominant overcomes any will to say no. The fear of losing the d/s relationship and being set adrift helps drive her to obedience. It is one of the most powerful weapons that her dominant has over her. In a sense both dominant and submissive are in a struggle over control of her behavior, a struggle that she really doesn’t want to win. Objectification is a means to instill a feeling of humiliation in her, it removes from her, her personhood, her individuality, hence her right to refuse. She becomes an object to be used without thought, a vessel to fulfill his every desire.
Now we come to that burning question, the difference between submissive and slave. Who cares? I don’t.
Now the biggy, “DOORMAT”. I’ve marveled at the debates over this one, invariably debated among submissive women themselves. After looking at line upon line upon line of submissive discussion, I’ve come up with a working definition for doormat submissive. Are you ready? To a submissive woman a doormat submissive is “ any submissive more submissive than I am”. It’s just that simple. It’s all a matter of depth of need. The more needful she is to submit, the more likely she will be thought a doormat by other submissives. As close as I can come to for a reason for this phenomenon is either, a sense of jealousy or fear. Or a combination of both. The fear being that as far as they go in their submission, for someone else to go further will bring social disgrace on being submissive. They have nothing to fear as society at large already thinks submission as we practice it is a perversion.
Now some words about the dominant. A deeply committed dominant, one that is committed to his dominance, approaches d/s as a craftsman/artist, he first combs the beach looking for the right piece of drift wood. When he finds a piece he likes and feels will make suitable material he can shape into something desirable he takes it to his shop. The piece of driftwood is examined from all angles so that he may imagine the object that lies within yearning to be set free. That is his task to shape and set free the object of his imagination that lies within. Next he sharpens his tools and lays them out ready to use. A dominant is very thorough in his artistry, much thought and planning goes in to his art work. More thought than the submissive may realize. The dominant strives to leave nothing to chance. Before taking chisel to work he has thought through the whole process of its creation, in his minds eye he has seen the final piece from every angle has planed for any and all problems that may arise. He realizes that the final work of art may not come forth easily as the drift wood will have internal characteristics not seen by the eye. He will plan in advance for these problems so as not to damage the drift wood beyond use. When all plans have been made all preparations made ready, he begins to carve out his dream. The act of creation may be painful as material is carved away, almost an act of violence against the drift wood but this is done because its necessary to set free the object he desires. One may think that the artist has no respect for the wood or his creation as he chisels and cuts away the unwanted wood it’s almost an act of violence but he realizes the necessity of what he is doing. One looking on at this act of creation and not seeing what he sees may not understand the why of his actions. Only he may see their necessity. Not even the drift wood can understand its transformation. From the very beginning the artist has had a plan. A plan that he does not feel compelled to explain in detail. What may seem as violence to others is in fact an act of creation, that will not be apparent until he has finished. The good artist respects the raw material, he respects the act of creation and he respects the created object. During each phase his respect is appropriate to the process at the time. It is not the respect of one friend for another but a special respect known only to him and his work of art.
What does it all mean? One has to ask what is the meaning of d/s and if that meaning is followed as far as it goes where does it lead. One dominant and the other submissive, dominant to what, submissive to what. Domination is about control but control of what? Control of her actions? As long as she agreed to abide by his requests, one could say he was the dominant, one could say that but they’d be wrong. For if it was by her willful agreement alone, then she could withdraw from that agreement and he is left dominating nothing, controlling nothing. Now I’m not claiming that there’s an absolute level of domination, such does not exist. But short of that there are many levels and these levels depend on the depth of need of the submissive and his ability to take her to the deepest level she is capable of or should I say they are capable of. This level of submission is not a fixed thing but may vary according to mood and circumstance. In the very deepest levels the relationship bestows on him the right to use what ever means he can to take her there, and keep her there. She does not bestow this right on him, her need to submit does and that fact may have a life of its own quite apart from her perceived wishes. She may have no wilful control over the power she gives him. It may be driven solely by her needs not her will. Most out there would see this as a form of abuse but it’s not for this is what she seeks in a man. He is in fact treating her literally in the manner she craves, if he didn’t, in a sense he would be cheating her of the man she thought she was getting. And if not him she would seek it elsewhere. With all the apparent abuse she is suffering, she is getting exactly that which will make her the happiest. How many women in the vanilla world can say that? And if she has a man that can dominate her in this way she couldn’t ask for more.
Does she need a mentor. Establishing friendships with dominants is perfectly all right, it may even give a new submissive a window into the dominant mind. But be wary of giving him any power over you, I have this suspicion that males that mentor online have their own agenda and may not be attuned to the best interests of the submissive. Having him read her email and pass judgement on whom she should and should not speak to may prevent her from actually finding someone. I talk to many submissives online but I do so as equals, I don’t demand any ritualistic behavior and speech. I find the female mind fascinating and the submissive mind even more so. I like it to shine forth unhindered, unencumbered and pristine. Submissives looking for a partner should stand on their own feet and make their own decisions. After all the submissive is the one that will have to live with her decisions.
The myths and reality of “in your face” control. This is a hotly debated and misunderstood factor of some d/s relationships. The question being how can you do it and my question is how can I not. Some people seem to have the quaint notion that if he’s not around he isn’t controlling her, nothing can be further from the truth. When a nilla couple come in at the end of the day usually he wants to flop down and watch tv, she wants to talk about their day. She wants him to show an interest in her and what she did, he couldn’t care less. He is not interested and the thought of exercising any amount of control is totally foreign to his psyche. A dominant would be highly interested in her, in her day and what she did. Perhaps he would tell her what she should have done differently, how she should have behaved differently so that in the future she would have this in mind under similar circumstances and behave accordingly. Control doesn’t have to be a physically present matter, but control could be that she has his desires in mind and behaves to fulfill them. To them this discussion of the day would be a daily ritual. And in a sense he is constantly in control as long as she is mindful of his desires. In your face isn’t actually in your face all the time. It’s more like in her mind most all the time. Maybe it’s some innocuous secret ritual she performs or an incantation she says before doing certain things that is used to always remind her of her state of being, her state as his submissive. It’s not a overly complicated thing nor does it have to be overly bearing and it could be something she thoroughly enjoys. Then there’s the extreme level of control that is often talked about but that is difficult indeed to practice all the time, to the point of being impractical. There is nothing mysterious and many couples may be practicing this level of control and never thought of it in this way.
The three people involved in the d/s relationship. In a relationship of a dominant and submissive there is a third person always present. The dominant is most always the same as his dominance is internal to him, and his demeanor may not show what he is thinking, even when he is thinking about his submissive. The submissive on the other hand has two personas that she brings to the relationship, making 3 individuals in the relationship. The first is the thinking functioning woman, the woman that the world sees everyday, the woman that may have a prestigious position in the everyday work world. She may be highly educated, be very intelligent and have myriad interests, but her submissive persona will always drive her back to her dominant to serve his pleasure where she will have to subdue the thinking functioning woman. In effect attempting to turn her off, because the thinking woman may try to interfere with her true needful destiny. Often the thinking woman rebels and the submissive may need the help of her dominant in conquering the thinking woman. In effect there are two people trying to liberate the submissive from within, the dominant and the submissive persona. This is a struggle faced by many submissives everyday and won everyday. It’s a struggle the thoughtful dominant realizes has to be faced, and gladly faces. For only by overcoming the thinking woman can the dominant and the submissive realize her true potential.
Letting go. A time comes when the submissive woman faces the question of how far do I go. It can be an agonizing question and the answer is critical to her future in submission. Does she set limits and forever be in contention with dominants, what if the dominant doesn’t accept her limits, what will become of the relationship, is a relationship possible? If the dominant accedes to her limits what will her attitude be toward him? Will she think that she has the power of refusal and can exercise it at will? If she thinks these things, what’s she to think of someone that calls himself dominant? If this were to stand then their commitment to d/s was not total nor any where near it to begin with. If her submissive need is great enough in time she will come to resent him for his acceding to her limits, for in the depth of her soul this is not what she wanted, this was what the thinking woman wanted, so she, the thinking woman can say, I’m not really like that, I just like to play kinky games. This is where the dominant must be firm before he allows the relationship to develop so far that they both wind up getting hurt. Her for not really respecting him as a true dominant and his resentment for not getting from her those things he may have really wanted. The dominant should have a clear idea of what he wants out of a relationship and if any particular submissive is suitable for him. I don’t think most submissives are able to fully appreciate their suitability for a particular dominant, as her need may cloud her vision. I know I’m going to get a lot of flack for this but I’ve observed it may times and the wreckage of failed relationships when tension became so great that it could no longer be denied. The dominant should make it perfectly clear early on in the courtship process what covenant he is willing to offer her, such as health and safety, friends and family and career. After this he may say all else is mine. If this is done from the very beginning and the covenant comes from him first then she will not see this as a weakness but rather love and caring as he gave her these of his own free will, she did not have to demand them. She really doesn’t want to be in a position where she is able to make demands of any kind. She needs her dominant to explain and encourage her to just let go. What is to be done when after the relationship has become established and there is something she just cant perform as desired. If such a situation is allowed to stand and is glossed over her respect for him will begin to erode and the relationship is doomed. One possibility is to make the consequences so severe that she will not think that she got away with anything and in the future will think long and hard before refusing service to him again. This consequence will have to be up to the dominant and applied with the full knowledge he has of her needs. There is no universal consequence that can be applied. But the dominant better have a very good understanding of her.
A conspiracy of two. To elaborate on the three person relationship. There is a more natural alliance between the dominant and submissive woman than there is between him and thinking woman. As the thinking woman may put up obstacles to submission, the dominant and the submissive woman may have to conspire against thinking woman. The dominant should be completely honest with the submissive woman about what his goals are, with honesty the submissive woman will gleefully join his conspiracy. After all it’s hers submission that is being held in check by thinking woman. The submissive woman must be taught and enabled on how to rise up and take control when the thinking woman has negative thoughts about what she’s doing and the relationship with the dominant. She must be empowered to replace thinking woman’s negative thoughts with warm fuzzy erotic feelings that more realistically reflect her submission.
Submissive in a cage parable. The submissive woman is in a cage and she has the key in her hand that would open the door allowing her to walk to freedom but that is impossible for her to do. Intellectually she may know what the key is, she may know how to insert the key into the lock, turn the key and push open the door but she can’t. Even if flood waters came she could not open the door and she would perish. But when the proper dominant comes along and asks her for the key, she will gladly hand it to him and let him lead her away from what had been her real slavery.
How a dominant can come to know his submissive. For the relationship to work and last, the dominant must come to know and understand his submissive like no other. In deeply committed d/s relationships, one in which the dominant and submissive are deeply committed to their respective roles, one is more a mirror image of the other than in most any other type of relationship. The dominant first analyzes his dominant desires and understands them. For every desire he has the submissive has the opposite desire or close to it. For most every way he wants to use her, she wants to be used. After he understands his desires he can create a mental clone of the submissive and perform thought experiments on her prior to expecting her to actually obey. In the start of the relationship he starts leading her gently in the direction he wants her to travel, observing how she behaved the same or differently than his mental clone of her. As he gains experience with her he fine tunes his mental clone of her, bringing her clone ever closer to her reality. Then in his mind he can work out every nuance of her possible reaction to whatever he desires of her. After some time he can actually have her inside him, in a way she has become a part of what he is. As part of this modeling of her she has to help him. He has to make her feel secure enough that she will open her thoughts to him, holding absolutely nothing back. For this to happen he has to be consistent in his demeanor, never belittling or criticizing her thoughts. She must never feel that he disapproves of her thoughts. He must during this time of her sharing put his own feelings aside keeping absolute control of himself. One mistake on his part could do damage to her trust that may take much time to repair. This is not something easily done, it takes a strong desire of the dominant to understand his submissive. In the early days before I came to fully understand my desires and to come to know what I am, I had a seven year vanilla relationship with a woman who I encouraged to share her thoughts with me, once she told me “this is great, I can tell you things I cant tell my closest friend”, needless to say that made this one feel great. If that level of trust can be established with a vanilla woman how much more is possible with a submissive woman?
Dominant insecurities. Before taking control of a submissive the dominant should have thought long and hard about his own insecurities and how they may affect the relationship. Everyone has insecurities but it is imperative that a dominant have his in control as there is no one in the relationship but himself that can help him. The submissive cant, she may have her own insecurities that she is looking to him to help her with. So he is on his own, I know some submissives will say they are willing to help him but I don’t believe that for a moment. They may be willing but that’s the last thing they need, to think for a moment that they have an insecure dominant. The dominant must realize, really realize that what ever desire he has his submissive fulfill that he is equally involved. It’s as though both were doing it. Before he has her fulfill a desire he has to be sure how he will feel about her afterward and not get in over his head. The submissive wants to feel his feelings for her wont change no matter what she does for him that he will be her rock, grounding her in security. If he cant do this then the relationship is doomed.
Are we having fun yet? This is for maybe the one in ten who feel compulsive about their d/s sexuality, who feel out of place among the general bdsm crowd. For most having kinky sex or engaging in play parties is a fun enjoyable thing to do and they do it for the fun and the sex. For them their activities revolve around the scene. They may have large toy collections and enjoy their mastery at using them. They frequently attend demos to gain ever more mastery and because it’s a fun social thing to do. I’m not knocking this, to each their own, I’ve been to them and somewhat enjoyed the experience though not as much as the rest of the attendees. No, I’m speaking about a deeper need. There are those among us that don’t engage in unusual sexual practices for the fun and enjoyment, though it is, it’s more that we need to, it’s part of our very core. It’s as basic as breathing to us, so when’s the next breathing party? As a dominant I do things with my submissive because they need to be done, she needs them done to her, she may not like it, may not want it but she needs them done to her as much as she needs to breath. This is an alien concept unless you feel that need. For this submissive the need to be pushed is a part of her existence, it expresses her sexuality in a way that no other can. Her dominant pushing her gives her a feeling of being needed and loved for to her why else would he push her. Her limits are not a line drawn in the sand but rather like water lapping at the shore ever fluid ever changing, ever exposing new possibilities. She needs a dominant that understands her well enough to know where , when and how much she needs pushing as probably she doesn’t know herself. She is totally reliant on him for his guidance and firmness. Through close and careful observation of her reactions and not what she says, does he know what she needs. I know this flies in the face of conventional wisdom that she knows herself best, but she doesn’t, she needs the close guidance of a watchful dominant. Only under these circumstances can she realize the fullness of her femininity. As a submissive she needs to be made to grow into all her possibilities.
Why lie when the truth will serve you better. One of the things that will shatter a submissives faith in her dominant the fastest is to be lied to. The one she looks up to lie to her would shake the very foundation of her world. Better to tell her she’s not ready to hear something and in time when she’s ready she will know. Truth in a d/s relationship is strictly a two way street. Which does not mean the truth has to be blunt, it can be told her in a way she will accept, but any way it’s told it must be the truth. The submissive woman is after all on his side, even if the thinking woman isn’t. Between the two of them she can be persuaded. The dominant that lies to his submissive really hasn’t thought it out or the consequences, she’s submissive not stupid, and in time will figure the truth out.
How to talk to a submissive. The dominant has to develop a way of talking to his submissive that she’ll listen to in rapt attention. I have found that short simple declarative sentences of just a few words each and strung together in a soft soothing even cadence fascinates them. They will listen for hours if he can keep it up. With just words he can take her into sub space. I’ve actually had one of my submissives orgasm just from my words. It may take trial and error, trying different methods of speaking to her but there is one that will excite her. Find that and he wont be able beat her off with a stick, a paddle maybe but not a stick.
Rivalry among sisters. Submissive woman and thinking woman may be like sisters forced to share the same bed room. Submissive woman may want to leave the crayons out and thinking woman is always putting them back in the box, submissive woman likes to sleep nude and thinking woman wants to wear pj’s. Submissive woman wants to stay up late and party, thinking woman wants to go to bed early. One can see how these differences can lead to arguments and it will take the parent to step in and make them behave, get along. One woman I chatted with online flat came out and told me “ I hate thinking woman”. Submissive woman wants her dominant to take the place of the parent and help her calm these inner conflicts. The thoughtful dominant will realize what is taking place in his submissive and act to figuratively take the place of the parent. Part of his control is dealing with this inner conflict if it is present. I’m not saying all submissives have this inner conflict but some do.
What’s love got to do with it. A submissive woman finds the dominant of her dreams, he can flog with the best, administering all the delicious pain she craves. Then one day it’s gone, over, no more pain just soft girly whacks. Could it be that he’s fallen in love with her? Yes! Evolution has imparted in us a capacity for love. Love was necessary to keep the family together and keep the male faithful to his mate so she could raise their off spring. Love had to serve the dual role of nurturing and protection. Flogging your mate is counter to this instinctive love. Before falling in love with her, he may not have instinctively thought of her as the mother of his children and flogging her was not counter to his familial responsibilities. It’s easier to mistreat the others than ones own kin, and now he sees her through the eyes of kinship. This instinctive urge to protect won’t allow him to hurt. Thus love has made him a totally useless dominant to her. A good dominant has a slightly abnormal love relationship with his submissive that allows him to love her and still be hurtful to her, thus love hurting her. The responsible dominant has the ability to keep these abnormal feelings under control so as not to go too far and thus really damaging her. This balancing act of love and hurt makes good dominants rare. It is much easier to be submissive than a truly good dominant. As he is the one in control of her he first has to be in control of himself. If not in control he may go too far with disastrous consequences. A submissive that enjoys heavy play should be aware of this when seeking a dominant and the consequences a dominants love could have either way. She may be placing her fate in the hands of someone that may loose control. A sadistic man can be fun, a madly sadistic man can be fatal.
The center of the universe. Just as in the vanilla world the submissive woman is the axis of the relationship. In the natural order of things the male instinctively seeks out the mate he wants for sexual gratification and to bear his children, and after the children arrive they are dependent on her for their very survival and turn to her for their basic needs, she is the center of the family gratifying the needs of other family members. This instinctual order of things is also evident in the d/s relationship as the submissive is also the axis around which the relationship revolves. Everything that is done is done to her, all obedience is hers. With out that obedience there can be no center. The nature of the submissive is a self centered one even in trying to please the dominant she asks “ what can (I) do to please him”, “how can (I) be a more pleasing submissive to him”. His reciprocal response is “how can I get HER to please me”, she is the center in both their thinking, all action involves and revolves around her. When in the presence of others it’s her behavior that draws attention and comment. It is the submissive that will most likely first sense problems in the relationship and it is she that will suffer the most unhappiness with a problematic relationship. Her needs are often much greater than his, a submissives need for a fulfilling relationship is awesome. A submissive that feels bereft of order in her life will often behave in irrational and self destructive ways. Many submissives need external guidance to keep balance in their lives. Without this balance she may become desperate. She will seek this balance at almost any cost and seek it from who ever may offer it no matter what their real motives may be.
The illusion of love and happiness. The following is for just a minority of submissive women. How high up should submissive women put traditional romantic love on their list? Not very high, there are enough impediments to a successful d/s relationship without adding romantic love. After all is her need for structure or love, my answer to that is structure. I believe that feelings of contentment and inner peace are far more important and useful to submissive women than feelings of giddiness and love.
When he makes her fulfill his desires by performing acts she may actually dislike, feelings of love may be the last thing on her mind but her need to obey will still be there. Peace and contentment are more based on her need to obey no matter what. This lack of a feeling of love at the moment of obedience may leave her confused and thinking that she is in a failing relationship. She has to remember it wasn’t wanting to feel in love that drove her to seek out a dominant in the first place. She sought out a suitable dominant to satisfy her inner craving. Unlike the vanilla world where one falls in love first then decides that the loved one is needed we decide what we need then try to find someone to fulfill that need, we have turned the process completely around. Now deciding we also have to have romantic love will make it more difficult if not impossible to find that one. I firmly believe that feelings of peace and contentment will go far further in sustaining a d/s relationship than the vagaries of feeling in love. I also believe that feelings of peace and contentment are a form of a more mature love than the feeling of giddiness is. After all how long can we feel giddy over anything?
The true dominant. I see a lot of discussion about what constitutes what a dominant is, true or otherwise, and there seems to be as many definitions are there are discussers. When what the discusser really means is I think so and so is or is not a true dominant. But there is no commonality as who is or is not. I think the time has come for yet another definition as to what a true dominant is. Sense what all women want/need is so personal and narrow in definition I propose the term “suitable dominant”, one that is suitable for that particular submissive woman. One womans dominant is another womans wannabe. With this definition the discussion can be personalized as to what any particular woman is seeking. She is seeking her true dominant.
Why a woman in her thirties and up to restrict a dominants age too close to her own may not be a good idea. Most submissive women want a dominant that has experience and maturity, so that means submissive women in their twenties want men in their thirties and into their forties. So where does that leave the thirty and forty something year old submissives? It leaves them with a dwindling pool of suitable dominants. There are many older dominants that haven’t forgotten anything and may have learned a thing or two over their younger counterparts. And with people today living longer, it’s not like they are at deaths door. There would be many fewer unattached submissive women if they reevaluated their list of priorities regarding age. And it seems that the market is becoming flooded with submissive women. And to hear their plaintive cries it would seem the supply of suitable dominants isn’t keeping up.
Limits, whose and how far? I have been undergoing an evolution on the concept of limits. There are those that say the limits should be what the submissive says, and there are those that say the dominant sets the limits. I am in the latter camp. The concept of static limits to me seems like that of a static relationship. Not growing, evolving, stuck where it was on day one. And leaving limits up to the submissive just doesn’t seem like submission to me. What if she has a change of mind and wants to raise her limits? What if her limits are further than the dominants? Whose limits are going to be pushed in these circumstances? So the concept of limits can be more challenging than first thought. So now whose limits should be pushed? I’m gravitating toward both till they reach a point of equilibrium, if that’s possible. After that point of equilibrium is reached then the dominant has some serious thinking to do on if or how much further to push the new limits.
How much self-respect? Self-respect in this context is defined as the respect that society instills in one as they are growing up, a respect for the societal norms of behavior, and will vary from one society to another. But those norms are almost universally counter to free female sexual _expression and apply to men as far as their treatment of respectable women. That being said too much self-respect can interfere with her purpose in being there to serve him. Any man can be dominant in many different ways, he can have a dominant personality and want a traditional home life right out of the 1800's and not want any deviant sexual activity with his woman. In fact he may respect her too much to even have much sexual contact with her, and for her to enjoy sex, well perish the thought. So that’s not the kind of dominance our intrepid submissive desires. So what kind of dominant male does she seek? Well I define him as a sexual dominant. A sexual dominant seeks out submissive women over all others because he knows that he can use her in ways that ordinary self-respecting women would refuse. This is not to say that thinking woman should not have any self-respect, no she should have as much as any woman in the vanilla world, but that when she becomes submissive woman she should put aside thinking womans self-respect and concentrate on her purpose of being an object that is completely pleasing to him. In this there is a kind of self-respect that is not of that other world she comes from. Her self-respect become that of her ability to serve however required, regardless of her feeling about that service. Her service becomes an end in itself and she is just an instrument of that service. For some new at submission it may help to in a sense objectify herself, separate herself from her body as though she were looking down on how well it is providing him pleasure. Only after she is no longer needed in service can she be reunited with herself and take her personal pleasure in how well she has served. During service she should not be thinking of herself but feeling herself in service to him. It is not a thinking process but rather a feeling thing for her to serve. Thinking woman does her thinking, submissive woman does all the feeling. Afterwards the dominant may want to praise her for how well she pleased him and help ease any doubts she may have about what she did for him. This is not to say that she may not feel a self-respect but not the self-respect that society instills in us from childhood. It is a very submissive form of self-respect that of service, honor and obedience.
Rebellion. Submissives aren’t always submissive. Sometimes they can be downright combative and uncooperative. My first submissive had a terrible time with pms and for part of the month could be impossible to deal with. I believe that being submissive can be much more trying than being dominant. After all it is she who has to sublimate her self in service to another. Even though this is what she needs to do, her psyche can rebel causing internal conflict with her role. However, the dominant is giving his psyche free reign so the same sorts of internal conflict are not there. When this rebellion occurs there may be nothing that the dominant can do. This is not a reflection on his domlyness or her submissive nature, but simply on the fact that she is having some problems. But what is to be done? At times like this there may be nothing he can do but grit his teeth and ride it out with the full knowledge that this will pass and she will be his again. When she again calms down he can go about re-establishing his control. By this time she may feel so remorseful that she may try extra hard to be his pleasing submissive again. So punishment may not even be necessary but a lot of communication never hurts.
A ball of string. Power over the submissive is not something she consciously gives, power over her is something she makes available to be taken, usually she dose this subconsciously. The good dominant understands this and takes it as it becomes available. Power over her is made available in bits and pieces and not all at once. Think of it as a collection of pieces of string wound up into a ball. This ball of string represents the submissive and from time to time a piece of string comes unraveled and is made available to be pulled off. This piece of string may be available for a short time and never made available again. The good dominant must be able to spot the loose pieces of string and be able to pull them off in a timely manner. As these pieces of string are striped away she may act in a protesting manner and say she wants it back but usually this is an unconscious act of testing the dominant and his resolution to keep the string he acquires. His success in acquiring string is measured by the amount of string he can acquire against the amount of string she has left. If his ball of string is bigger than the ball of string she has left, he has acquired more power over her than she has will to resist. The test of a good dominant is in his ability to spot these pieces of string as they are made available and to see which pieces are unencumbered by other string and can be safely peeled off in a timely fashion and then keep them.
Authors disclaimer this is a personal philosophy presented to provoke comment and discourse. It is not a how to manual or a “This is the only way it should be” essay. But I dare say many will see things that pertain to them and their partners.
This is a work in progress and changes are made from time to time for clarity and continuance but the basic ideas remain constant. So if it interests you come back to find out what has been added. Rereading from the beginning is recommended as changes are made to the body of the text also. It is also in my profile in its entirety. Or I will gladly email you a copy.
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she listens to him not because his ideas are better than hers
she listens to him not because his ideas are as good has hers
she listens to him because it feels right
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I seek a woman that can totally let go, a woman that can totally BE.
I want a woman that doesn’t think that anything I want is beneath her. |
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Accepting service.
On of the hardest things a developing dominant has to learn is accepting service and one of the hardest things to unlearn is over zealous chivalry, the desire to help out even the smallest of things. Males in most western societies are taught from childhood to protect and come to the aid of the fairer sex, which is the exact opposite of what the submissive woman instinctively wants. To the submissive woman, she wants to serve completely and to completely serve means she does so unaided by him, after all it’s all for him.
This tendency to come to her aid I believe is never really overcome in most dominants. It takes a conscious force of will to be ever diligent of it. But for those that become successful at it the reward can be beyond compare. |
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when will some submissive women learn they haven't a clue about what a male dominant is?
i keep reading what they think one is and and ask myself, wtf are they talking about |
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The appliance.
In the average mans world exist many appliances such as the tevevision appliance, the microwave appliance and so forth until we get to the woman appliance. Usually if they work as he expects he takes no notice of them. If one should break he either replaces it or calls in a qualified repairman. So now when his woman appliance starts acting up he is at a loss as to what to do, replacing her may be difficult and who does he call to fix her?
The dominant on the other hand acquires his woman appliance with the expectation of changing it to work more to his liking, and when it has difficulty operating to his expectations he is fully qualified to deal with any problems it may have. |
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the true slave mentality chooses the man and lets the man choose the kink |
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contact osf's online mentoring
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ok, im willing to be the pervert and she can be the dutiful female consort only doing what that damned pervert tells her to do, so it's all my fault |
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a beautiful woman without the qualities i desire is nothing but a pretty figurine |
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come here sweetheart, i wont hurt you |
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what does a slave do?
calls him master a lot
gets on her knees and sucks masters cock
gets spanked
giggles a lot
have i missed anything? |
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am now looking for a gor slave
must be able to explain gor to me
must have her own gor books |
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there is grace in fulfilling ones purpose just as there is grace in flock of migrating birds |
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freedom is just another word for no one to obey |
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Submissive v slave v obedience.
So much argument has been had around the words slave and submissive that I got sick of hearing it.
The argument goes all the way back to the stone age when the first man to speak clubbed a potential mate and dragged her by the hair to his cave and asked her, “ are you a slave or submissive”.
Well I’m so sick and tired of the argument I thought what do I want and then I thought “obedience”.
I want an Obedient, pure and simple |
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occasionally i like to severely whip my property |
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I want a woman that can be obscene with dignity |
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all a submissive woman needs is desire and a man to take advantage of it |
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a slave makes her masters life more comfortable
a master makes her life worth living |
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Just wondering
What is it when you talk to a woman who calls herself submissive and all she wants to talk about is how she will be treated.
I let those get away on purpose |
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Why v what.
When a submissive studies the dominant to ascertain what he likes and wants it is to be more pleasing and useful to him. I don’t think she concentrates on the why as much as the what, in a way it is not as important to know why when the what is all she really needs to know, it’s what he wants she serves.
For the dominant not only is what important but also the why, it’s the why that gives him the insight to control and mold her to his liking. |
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The perfect slave.
The perfect slave has no conscious.
The perfect slave has no morals.
The perfect slave has no ethics.
The perfect slave when tasked its identity becomes its task, as the identity of the hammer and its task are one.
few seem to understand this allegory, so if you have any questions, ask |
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So you want a Dominant.
Do you have any idea what they cost? Everything has a cost and a Dominant is no different. And a worthwhile Dominant can be most expensive. A Dominant you can look up to, you know the steadfast kind, one that is sturdy enough to stand straight in the strongest winds of your whims and wants.
Such Dominants are rare and costly. You better look deep inside yourself and count carefully the coins you have. Are they the coins he will want. Are you woman enough to find more coin if he wants more? Are you woman enough to find ever greater amounts of coin for him, because Dominants are bought on an installment basis the payments never end? Are you prepared to pay in coin you never thought you’d have to pay? Are you willing to pay in coin that may leave you temporarily broken and suffering, well are you?
Better think about it.
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i have this fantasy , it goes something like this
i come on this site seeking a woman to put to some really nasty perverted use and i find her
but it's only a fantasy |
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to all the ladies
yes i want to abuse your body and no i wont feel sorry afterward |
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pedanticism and the boring dominant.
Some submissives like that, it gives them comfort that he will be tomorrow what he is today |
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Where are the women that just want to BE? |
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when i see a naked pic of a chick that says she loves pain and there is not a mark on her skin, hmmmmmmm |
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I ADMIT IT.
I FIND FEAR EROTIC |
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i get so tired of flogging pics where he is swinging the flogger and the flogger is drooping
dammit man hit the bitch |
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Attention vs Approval.
One often hears the term attention whore, it recently came to me that this may not be quite accurate, this morning to be exact.
My thought it’s not so much attention as approval, so one could say approval whore.
A lot of submissives want nothing so much as to serve and be useful and to think their service may not be what it should is shattering. So it’s approval of their service the seek.
But at the same time they should realize a lack of approval is not a sign of inadequate service.
Service that is not noticed may be so good it goes unnoticed. Believe it, bad service is immediately noticed.
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Walking the line, talking the line or talking about walking the line, I couldn’t come up with a catchy title so this whole sentence is the title.
It seems most people keep to the line eyes down when they are describing the line and they understand each others description of the line because it’s the same view of the line that have and are comfortable with.
I on the other hand like to wander off the line, hell I even like to look up and describe what I see.
Wandering off the line gives you a whole different perspective of the line. When I describe my view of the line people don’t recognize it as the line and think the poor dear doesn’t know what he’s talking about and is only a wannabe line walker. When in fact my comprehension of the line may be greater. Wandering off the line gives one a view of the line in context that can’t be seen on the line. |
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So son ya wanna be a cowboy.
Comeer an set here by the fire, I got to splain things to ya.
See them there cows, fat happy cows they is. Wanna know why, well I’ll tell ya, we’re here, yes sir as long as there’s cowboys around for a cow to see they is happy, that’s a fact.
Now cows is needy critters, they need cowboys to lead them to water, lead them to green grass, why a cow is just plum lost with out cowboys to lead them.
If they go long with out a cowboy in sight, them cows git all restless and skiterish, yes sir, and a skiterish cow starts to loose weight fast and a skinny cow aint worth a prairie dogs fart.
Takes a lot of work to keep a cow fat an happy, no time off for a cowboy, no sirrry, ya gotta cowboy ever single day, sunshine or rain, no matter how ya feel, ya gotta git out ther an cowboy for them cows, why if you even look doubtful them cows sense it, them cows is lookin up to ya constantly. Lot of responsibility bein a cowboy. Ya gotta make sure they is fit an healthy an happy, yes sir, a whole lotta work.
What’s it all for ya ask, now this is the part where the cowboy wannabes loose it turn green an puke in their hats. Them cows gotta go to slaughter, yes sir them cows you put in all that work keeping fit an healthy is turned into useful meat, an that’s what it’s all about.
Not everybody can be a cowboy at this point, take’s some surefire determination to slaughter a cow for meat.
Ya know it’s downright perverse in a way, now nobody said them bovine was smart when it come to the self preservation department, no sir, but them cows will loose respect for ya iffin ya ain’t man enough to slaughter them, now they don’t always wanna be slaughtered but they want you man enough to do it, stupid bovine they is. Yep that’s what it’s all about, making them into useful meat. And being magical cows we get to slaughter them again and again.
Hey boy you feelin ok, ya look a lil green there. Sure ya wanna be a cowboy, maybe ya better be a accountant or sumptim.
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Every woman needs to be taken to room 101 for an attitude adjustment once in a while |
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I’m an owner oriented person she should be property oriented
let me explain im the owner and she is the vehicle of my pleasure, I want to be able to drive her wherever my pleasure takes me. In exchange she is well cared for and her needs will be met within the bounds of my desires. That means my desires take precedence over hers.
If what she wants doesn’t interfere with what I want then why not, she deserves at least that.
I can be cuddly and even romantic at times, but will never allow her to forget her place, that is of paramount importance, for her to be always cognizant of her place.
Any questions ask.
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now now you delicate flowers of sensual bedroom subbery be nice or you'll be spanked oh so delicately lest your soft bottoms become flushed with color, can't have that because it's a hard hard hard harder limit.
gawd sometimes i wanna puke over what passes for kink here
reminds me of standing in a dugeon watching all the doms lined up at the crosses lining the wall dancing and twirling their floggers and barely kissing the skin of the writhing subbies, i swear this is staged by busby berkely
while i scream in my head " HIT THE BITCH!!!!!!!"
lololololol |
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I want a woman that understands the price of happiness is suffering |
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You got this brand new pornographic women toy, and she’s willing to make your most nasty erotic fantasy a reality, you know the one that has been developing in you head for ever so long,
now is your big chance to make it reality, you put in a lot of effort to arrange it and the big moment arrives and lo and behold the bitch does it to perfection, couldn’t have gone better.
Now it’s the next day and you’re having second thoughts about what happened and her, now neither seem so desirable anymore.
Now what?
Didn’t think of that did you?
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i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become |
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In the beginning phases of a d/s relationship the word “limits” often comes up usually in that she states her limits, which to me affects the authority dynamic from the git go.
I prefer getting to know her and her basic needs then granting her limits I will uphold, that establishes my authority from the start.
the more limits she has the less authority he has, it's a balancing act |
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The loving compassionate sensual dominant
Pens his love on a sheet of parchment and seals it with wax and stamp and sends it to her by knickered postilion on a bed of roses on a tasseled pillow.
That’s not me, I chisel it on a rock and throw it at her. |
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The submissive woman the terminator.
A submissive woman’s sexuality is unceasing in it’s appetite and need. That sexual need is there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever.
Most men that think they are dominants don’t understand that simple fact which is why they crash and burn |
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It was a day like any other day a day she was folding clothes, vacuuming or was it dusting, it doesn’t matter it was for master. Anything for masters comfort made her smile.
From deep in her reverie she hears masters voice, instantly becoming attentive to what he may need, she hears him say COME. That COME she knew well, it wasn’t the nice come she preferred, it was the COME that made her anxious.
Knowing better than to delay or protest she put down the clothes or the vacuum or was it the duster and quickly goes to his side.
Taking her hand he led the way, a way she knew only too well, a way that would lead to she knew not where or what, because he as usual hadn’t told her.
Walking beside him in growing apprehension, she goes not because she trusts him, she goes not because she loves him, she goes because that is what she does, she goes to fulfill her purpose for being.
Dread filling her to the very core, silently she screams beat me, make me suffer terrible pain, please anything but what is to come, because she realizes some things are worse than mere pain. Silently she does this because she knows now is not the time to speak.
Along the way she goes through a kind of molting, shedding her happiness, shedding her pride, shedding her dignity, shedding her very identity until they come upon that place, merely walking flesh and bone, a piece of meat ready for use.
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| Age: 32 |
| Marietta,
Georgia |
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