oilednshaved

I really wish there were more bdsm non-conformists, but I am likely to be one of the few.  I do not say that to be elitist or have it serve some inferiority complex.  I plain just want to beat the majority of dominant types I encounter at gatherings...doing things solely for the sake of shock value, acting as if they have undergone some evolution that puts them above 'vanillas', etc...  I simply prefer to read new ideas, listen to others (to a point), and then make up my own mind--both in lifestyle/bdsm and in the vanilla world.  And, I am not ashamed or hesitant to update my views if new information comes along (an INTJ's prerogative).  It seems that is what upsets the old guard types the most--how dare others not listen to established rules.  Paying homage is one thing; blind sheepery is something totally different (that's right, I made up a word: sheepery).

Typically, many Masters/Doms/Dommes follow these concepts of 'training' newcomers...and that subs need to be 'trained' to be prepared for use by other dominants.  While I am sure there may be a limited number of cases that holds true, my experiences indicate this is nothing more than pure b.s.  I tend to see it as a simple way for others to devise an excuse to use or abuse someone who does not know better yet...and some here really enjoy being the one to teach slaves/subs that lesson.

Then again, there are many submissive personalities who like exactly that exploitation/mistreatment and want the new experience--so who am I to judge?

*sigh*  Having some serious handle remorse.  I picked 'oilednshaved' out of a hat merely to indicate that I shave my dome smooth like Mr. Clean or Stone Cold Steve Austin...and it results in an onslaught of male...um...mail.

Lately, I have been feeling very akin to what someone once said to me after staring intently at me for the better part of a minute.  She said, "You feel just like a monster sometimes, don't you?  A monster barely contained within your human skin."

It is not always like that.  Sometimes the feeling is based on mood, but it is often triggered by those in my immediate proximity.  A soulful, kind, gentle spirit brings out the same in me--as well as a desire to preserve and nurture that spirit.  An arrogant, self-absorbed, condescending, seemingly uncaring individual brings out the monster.  And, almost without exception, he wants to do very bad things to that individual.  The monster likes to use them to make himself feel good--as he perceives they do to others...the only question is if they want those bad things to happen or not.  Often, he hopes "or not".

I pine for an apocalypse to ravage the earth...if only to see how "dominant" some of these Doms are when they are faced with a real challenge.  I am guessing most would not be able to claw their way out of their mother's basement.  It is easy to act tough when the only recourse is a bad word on a screen, or when you are forcing someone much weaker than you to do something they do not want to...not so easy when you come up against someone stronger and/or smarter than you.  (And, no that is not a sexist comment, just a physiological fact that men are born with more muscle fibers than women--it does not mean that a typical woman could be as strong as a typical man...just that the man has a higher baseline potential due to higher fiber count.)

I am not sure why most of the male dominants I encounter rub me the wrong way (no pun intended--especially as I am straight).  But, one of my cardinal rules is that you do not subject someone to something that you could not endure yourself.  Fortunately, I have been blessed with brain, brawn, and a much higher than average pain threshold.  Don't get me wrong, there are many much more blessed than me...but the difference is not knowing my limitations, yet not being arrogant about it.  I am the way I am--but there is always room to improve.  Yeah, I can be arrogant from time to time; but, hopefully, mine does not want to make most males stomp me into the ground like a common speck.

And, for the record, if I ever get my hands on any of the jerks that have hurt my friends,  both my online ones and my "real" friends (virtually all of whom do not know the depth of my alternative side)...well, we will just have to see if they are as strong as they have made others.

Alright...time to blow off some testosterone....I think I am going to go bake some cookies.

   ...take that cookies!

P.S.  To all of those who share your trials and tribulations, you are stronger than you know.  To those who are leaping before they look, you can still have fun but at least try to talk to someone who has leapt before you.

Primary interests? (aka, why am I here)

I have a taste for edge play on occassion, but I will not discuss it until I know you better.

I enjoy OTK very much, but have never been a big fan of using much more than my bare hands and intellect.

I tend to be a tease at times...so orgasm denial is something you would likely have to "endure" from time to time.

But, as far as what I AM (versus what I can DO)...this article sums it up the best...so, if you understand at least part of the article, you will understand me:

Daddy Dom/little girl does not refer to the ages, real or pretend, of the participants. Nor does it imply closet desires. We do not engage in age play specifically ( beyond the occasional school girl fantasy s) and our relationship is not based on any need to have sex with children. A Daddy Dom is so named because of the qualities he possesses and the service he provides. So, what are these qualities? What is a Daddy Dom?

His love for his little girl goes without saying. He loves her as much for who she is as for who she will become with his guidance. She is his prized possession. His eyes light up when she walks into the room and he takes great pride in her successes. After all, he helped to create her. She holds the most tender part of his heart and has the greatest power to hurt him.

This love would not be possible without respect. A Daddy Dom needs to feel pride in his little girl. He needs to know she can hold her own in the outside world and still submit to him. He holds the greatest respect for the gift she has given him and takes great pains to increase it?s value. It is extremely important to him to know she can be with any man and she chooses to be with him.

He knows that this makes discipline a priority in their lives, more important than in some other D/s relationships. In order for the little girl to really trust, she must know he means what he says. If his little girl is going to be the best she can possibly be he must stand firm. He uses his experience in life and his knowledge of her to provide proper direction and punishment when the need arises.

If he does not enforce discipline, this respect becomes a tenuous thing. If his submissive finds that she can manipulate him out of punishing her, she begins to lose respect and the ability to empower becomes impeded. He understands that it becomes increasingly difficult to be possessed by someone you do not respect.

A Daddy Dom provides something else that is very important to his submissive...acceptance. She is safe in his arms because he knows her, everything about her, and he still loves her. When she goes to him she knows that this man knows all of her dirty little secrets and it doesn?t matter. To him she is beautiful.

Daddy Dom and sadistic Dom are by no means mutually exclusive. Many Daddy Doms embrace their sadism while understanding and feeding their submissive's masochism. This balance is necessary to many little girls because it allows all parts of her to be nourished, leading to an incredibly fulfilling relationship.

I think most Dominants have a bit of the Daddy in them, taking on the role of male authority figure in the submissive?s life and using their power to enrich that life. Daddy/little girl verbalizes that feeling, and adds a dimension of warmth, caring, and ritual that it?s participants crave.

There is something infinitely magical about a Daddy Dom. Perhaps it is something only a little girl can understand.

I pulled back on the profile details because people were just trying to tell me what they thought I wanted to hear...I thought I would leave a couple posts up though.