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Looking for a man with. tarnished armor...



Head space...an important thing.  Most of the time , I'm like everyone.  Your "general" submissive/slave.

However!  Sometimes I want things darker.      A cat of 9 tails?  A ball gag?   Mmmmmmmm!

Personally?  I HATE when say they to "train". a submissive/slave.  I don't understand that!   The only other time I was "trained" was being potty trained.   

I have a "blah" day.  Didn't sleep last night, not how I'm used to spending the night.

I feel OLD!!! 

What really sucks?  And it makes me look stupid?  I don't have much, if any, short-term memory.  I'm not stupid?  I just can't remember!!

Having memory problems are no joke!  I am NOT stupid!!!  But I CAN'T remember shit!!  Can't help it!!

Don't ask me to shave my pussy hair!  I won't do it!  Have done that before!  It fucking itches when grows back!!!

I feel like I was being psychologically tested!   And I'm also wondering if I passed... .

I have a hard time moving from submissive thoughts to dominant ones !!!

 

But I AM a switch.  I need to figure out how to move from one train of thought to the other.

I hate watersports.   Stuff that is like.......*shudder*

I am torn between being a submissive.  And dominant.  It depends on the day.  Most time I'm submissive.  But there are days when I feel dominant.

Is what you seek EVEN possibl by normal people??  Really?  It seems like people look people look for the impossible!! For God's sake people?  We live on this planet called Earth!  We might want something different, but without planning?   It ain't going to happen.

I don't really know if other people are reading this or not .  I hope so, but ultimately?  It doesn't really matter.  I'm ot very exciting!  Although, I do acasionally have something worth hearing;

I'm feeling sorry for myself.  I think.

I know I'm not the only one who can't drive?  But it makes me sad.

Trust me !!  My being disabled can't piss you off any more than me.  

 

I hear people talk about "training"....  I REALLY don't understand that,. seriously....

I mean really,.  I don't get it.

I feel like an idiot!!!!   I'm trying to look at pictures?  BUT I CANT REMEMBER HOW TO FIND THEM!!!

Oooooo!  Something came to mind!   I'll look there!

Men don't REALLY understand how women act when they're sick .   For a woman?  It's like "business as usual".   For a man?  It's like he's dying.  Even if it's just a cold!

 

On vacation in Jamaica.  

 

I hate admit I'm disabled.   Even though I have been for several decades,it doesn't get any easier.

There are some people who are fun to talk too.  Then.......there are some that could drop dead!  And you would be okay with that would be fine by me.

Their are some days I have "Duh!". moment.   I try to keep it relatively low.

No one said anything lately..  so I know I'm worried about nothing.  But I'm the first to say I'm not perfect! 

I look to see if someone I'm interested in sent me a message.  And I am upset when he hasn't.

It makes me feel so ... USELESS not being able to drive! I mean .....  how do explain that!!!!

Since I'm not doing.  Watching Family Feud.   And then I am going to bed.

I catch myself looking to see if anyone has responded to my journal entries.  I am

disappointmented when they haven't:

I have no idea how humiliation can be errotc.   Seriously.

See?  I don't like to show my picture!  

But I DO know pictures are important!  People are LUCKY to get one from me!  I DO not have a narcissist problem.  Actually?  For all I talk a good game?  I'm actually quite boring! But when we first meet, I lose my shyness.   Usually . 

 

Lots of public speaking practice in highschool helps.

I'm not sure if I'm dom or sub .  I think I'm a little bit of both!  Depends, really, how I feel at the time.  Hence being a switch..

I don't use Skype!   I should!   But it's scares me!

Dumb.  I know.

I really don't know HOW to humiliate;

Look people?  I DON'T HAVE OTHER PICTURES??

 

Not everyone is so fascinated in how they look????  I'm NOT CARING TO SEE WHAT I LOOK LIKE!

I KNOW what I look like!!  I don't need to stare at pictures of myself!

Is there any way to see who checks your journal?  

No one .   And I mean, NO ONE should fuck with my mind.    I don't care how erotic it is .   NO!!

I am NOT going to play nice when asked for nude pictures of me!

Not even if you ask nice!

I don't want to be the old chick playing this game.

I don't want to be considered old AT ALL!!

At some point in time I need to find a shower partner.

I am rather kinda.........vanilla!  Even my likes are vanilla.

People need to know this.  Yes!  My parents are in my life.   We're pretty close.  They know about this, but DO NOT know a lot.  And I want to keep it that way!!!

Waiting SUCKS!!!!!

It bothers me that people ASSUME sex!  We ALL do it.  Even me!!  But....we are ALL of us better than that!   Even on a BDSM site light we are!

Yes!   I'm naive. 

It says I have a lot of friends.  It probably means I've probably been around here a long time.  I have?  But I'm still looking for someone too....

Begging someone for their love shows people how very mentally sick you are!   Begging people for love isn't to be trusted anyway.  True love is given freely!

I get so sick of explaining how head injury's lead to a wheelchairs?  I don't really know?  But they do.

It DRIVES me NUTS when people don't give me there phone number when I ask for it!   Hello!!!!!  You are already doing something you're not supposed too!  What's the harm of just admitting you are HERE looking for the SAME THING I AM!!!

How many people read my journal?

Nothing exciting is going on in my life!  Just the rantings of disabled chick!

I have a question?  Do you want to punish ME?

Or do you ME to punish YOU??    

I WANT to be polyamorous.  But at the SAME time I want to "belong" to someone.

I try really hard to let my head injury to not define me..

And I seem to be  two-timing men!  Despite not intending too!

People don't believe me when I tell the how vanilla I am!  But seriously?  I am!!

It is very depressing, really.

Why are people asking for details about things that have happened to me in the past?  I have memory problems so it could be anything, you know?

I'm am the most "normal" person here.  If there was a way to calculate that.  before my brain -injury.  Which makes it hard for me to answer that.   

How many people follow my journal?  

Random curiosity.. 

Personally?  I don't think I am not all that interesting..

I worry about menopause.  I'm staring at it in the face and it scares me!

I like to who who that dick belongs too!  But a name with your picture, please?

I can answer questions?  But there's a time when I want to know WHY!!  

Why are you asking?  What's the relevance!!

 

I hate. The fact that I can't just up and go like I used too 

It's a good thing it doesn't bother me to talk about what happened to me.  It's simple curiosity.  However!  It does get irritating after awhile.

Well!  That's nice!  A person is acting like a child!  If you don't like me?  FINE but take my anger like a man!  Yes!  I'm angry!   You fucking refused me!!!   Wouldn't YOU be angry?  ESPECIALLY if this comes from left field!

It drives me CRAZY when people lay claim too things!!

Laying claim to imamate drives me crazy!   See?  I was taught to share!

Laying claim to a person? Not too shure about....

 

 

I am TIRED of liking people only to have them leave!  THAT is why I'm so aggressive!  I've been doing this for long ass time!  I'm wondering if I will ever find someone.   Or worse yet?  Being blocked!  I don't what I did?  Or what I said..but I can't find out because I can't ask!! 

*blink*   Do people not take this seriously????

GOOD GOD!  I've  been doing this for YEARS!!! It takes a LOT of time to find the right match!

People ask what I am here for?  Well....I am looking for people to connect with.  I am NOT an easy person to know.  I'm disabled which makes me kind of wary.  I don't Want to think people are out to get me, but most people don't think of what their actions do!  And WHO it can affect.

I go to bed, alone, extremely early.   Sometimes I think about changing that.  But... I rather LIKE my early bedtime!

I'm having an argument about my age.  MY AGE!!

As we're BOTH women!   Haven't you ever heard it said:. "If you can't say anything nice?  Don't say anything at all?"

Clearly, she hasn't learned that!

Although I hate this question myself?  I do like when people ask if I have a picture?  I DO use it myself.  I want to see what you look like!

Is driving THAT important?  Because I can't.

It bothers me that people take so long to answer messages!?!

Even though women my age are looking for younger lovers?   I'm not.  Young men need to have life experience... Most young men don't..

Am I the only woman who asks for a picture? Sometimes I think I am!  

But...how are you supposed to deside if you to MEET this person let alonr FUCK them!

I look to see if people have written.   And find myself disappointed when they haven't!   They must have a life!  Which obviously I don't because I'm here;

I am feeling my age!  Is 47ish, old?  I feel old, but young at the same time...

My birthday is coming up, and I really don't care about it.  The only I can say about?  Is I'm not 50 yet..

I try to be a good girl!  Really!!!

 

This having COVID thing really sucks!

*sigh*. I'm an outgoing person.  But don't say you know me when you don't.  I also have memory problems.  REMIND ME WHERE YOU KNOW ME FROM!   AND WHY!

Merry Christmas!

There's a lot to be seen about being older!  I discovered kink when I was older, for example.   I was very vanilla when I was younger!  More vanilla then I am now, at least.  Am STILL vanilla?  But not QUITE as vanilla...

I am starting to use if people want to drive to visit me as to indicate me as their wanting to meet me.  I probably shouldn't!  But it's roughly indicating what they REALLY want.  I probably shouldn't.  But I'm the one opening their legs.  Sooooooo I'm not feeling too bad about it!  

 

PEOPLE!!

Make you have a profile!!   How do you expect to find someone without one!!

ALSO:. A picture!

 

 

I'm ALL kinds of pissed off!

Why do people say what there are not??.

It's a simple concept!!  DON'T LIE!  If you just here to get laid?  Fine!  But admit it!

I try to be "normal", whatever THAT is..  

Having memory problems is SCAREY to have. You forget who you talk too, and what was said 

People are WAY far out!  As in.....a bit far-fetched!  I have been accused of being out there!  And I can't disagree.  But I am pretty sure I know this side of reality.

My people don't think us disabled people don't like kink.

Or kinky by nature.  Or are more kinky than others...

 

Does anyone other me show up, hoping that someone had something interesting to say?  Or am I the only one??

 

I'm hoping I'm not the only one..

I am hoping men don't expect me to have kids.  I won't.

I am asked for naked pictures!  I DON'T WANT TO TAKE NEW NAKED PICTURES!!

 

Been there?  Done that..

I can't help that I can't find them 

And they are also OLD!

I'm hoping my memory problems don't scare people away!

This Topping thing is a new thing.

Whatever you do?  Don't lie to me 

I am going to be gone a week!  I wonder what I will miss!

Going to camp for a week starting tomorrow...

Don't miss me, too much!!  

About time to go to bed..

And yes.  I go to bed early.   Trust me!  You don't want me to stay up late!

I rather miss the East Coast.  Even though I'm not there 

I need pictures!  I'm sure you are good looking!  But I need a picture so I know WHO you are;

I'm not really sure if I'm a sub or not.  I have a lot of top thoughts, but the execution causes me to wonder.  What do Tops actually do!?!

 

This is my dulima. 

Yay!!  I got refused!!  I usually don't care, but this one has more intelligence than most.

I am noticing how people don't actually use proper words and stuff.  And DRIVES ME CRAZY!  If I am not punctuating something properly and you catch it?  TELL ME!!  But do it as kindly as you can!

I'm going to bed after I finish my cocktail.  No one here, or there, to change my mind.

Yes.  I'm disabled and in a wheelchair.  I require help.   But, if I can,I prefer to do it myself.

Are there any of us in our late 40s?  Early 50s?  I feel ANCIENT!!

Don't get old!  It's a trap!

Saturday!  The day of rest with Sunday.  Anyway!  I'm resting both days!

I have someone who shot me down.  And I, like anyone, don't like to be shot down.

Well!  That hurts!

It's hard to admit I don't drive!   I mean ... we look forward to it when you're a kid!   Driving is a right-of passage that we look forward to for years.  Not being able to drive for medical reasons is hard.   I know it for a fact!

Wait!  I'm OLD!;

When did THAT happen???

Could someone explain to me why online play is a thing?  Personally!  I don't get it. 

For all I'm RELATIVELY young?  I'm not looking for a younger lover.  I guess you could say I'm pickey! 

We are seeing if the bingo gods are favorable of me!

And they weren't..

Anyone want to cuddle with me!?

I don't think way to figuring out how new stuff works other than playing around with it 

Finding out how friendship works.  Is hard, and painful.

I really have no business being here as vanilla as I am!

The beauty of BDSM relationships are they follow rules.  There are certain roles that we assume.    Certain things we are expected to do.  Or not do...

Is there anyone who is reading this?

I think I need to streaking!  They would either tell me to put my clothes on.  Or give me suggestions of what, or who, to do!!!

I have a day of nothing.  Suggestions?

I wonder if there's anyone around??

My feet are cold!!

That's HIDEOUS!!

I have no  business being here!!

As vanilla as I am!!

You know the worst thing about coma's?   Not being able to notice the passage of time!

Hands down it's the worst thing!

Well!  That was interesting!  Yes!  I was in a coma.

Any other questions?

 

I want to curl up with someone and go to bed .  Right after sex would be an added bonus 

Moving away from Pennsylvania shows me the people in the scene when I was there!  Figures;

I can't do stuff then just I couldn't do stuff now!

People don't believe me when I tell them I'm vanilla.  I am?  But then again, I'm not.

Although I understand it..  it bothers me when my messages are refused.

Is having kids THAT important?

Has anyone tried to have a relationship with someone in a different country!!

It's hard!  Even with someone younger than me. 

I like to think of myself of being someone that doesn't let age and distance matter!  

But it's starting too..

Yet another person calling me a bitch!!

And I just asked for a phone number and email?  See?  I ask for that because I can't remember!   I ask for that personal information because my brain injury has me being that specific.  Trust me!  You don't want the brain injury.  I ask things more than once.  Be kind!  Or you could, I guess, be a asshole.

I am starting to feel deafened in my search.  I realize it takes patience.  I like to think I've been patient enough!  How patient does one have to be???

I am shy!  No one believes me when I tell them this;.

Considering I'm here. ...

Anyone want to take a nap with me?  Thinking  keeping clothes on...

I'm going to bed!  Anyone joining me?

I go to bed early.  Anyone want to join me?

Or for that matter, even  are?

Should I have interests like this when I'm in my 50s?  I'm not there yet, but I wonder..

Having memory problems isn't for the faint of heart !  You have to faith into people you would rather not .  Rely on people because you have no choice.   It's very hard to do 

I am going to bed.  Anyone joining me?

I am going to say this so people hear again!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you have to COLLAR someone before you DEMAND something of a person. 

Or am I making that up?

Evidently, I can't send messages until my profile is approved.   Ummmm.

 

What the fuck?

Trying to juggle our freak life with normal life is EXHAUSTING;;

I just finished dinner and took my meds.  All that's left too do, is go to bed.

I don't know how this journal thing works.  And I'm a person who needs to understand.

I wait hoping, HOPING that the person I want to send me a message, does so. I THINK I am just fooling myself, though.
It is fucking hard to be a switch!


also!

I have to WAIT for people to respond!  I HATE WAITING!
I find myself looking at toys. Hmmmmmm.
Look.  People, if you're NOT an American citizen?  I can't help you.
My god!  I'm a GEEK!  I am remembering playing song in HIGH SCHOOL, AND I'M REMEMBERING THE NAME OF IT!  It's been like 25 years ago!
Most my age are looking for younger men. I'm looking for someone in there 50s or so. That is young enough for me, thanks! Too young and we are getting to jail-bate territory!
I'm...................scared.  Not for my life or anything.  That I  can never find a Master to serve.  That he won't understand my special needs.  That he won't understand that I have memory problems.  I mean well!   But I forget!  It's not my fault.  Really!
I get SO tired of having to explain I have a head Injury.  I want JUST ONCE for people to understand me.  I am shy, have hobbies that are out of the normal,...
People where I live don't understand the concept of bandwidth!  Truth be told?  Several years ago, when if I didn't actually WORKED in the computer  industry, I wouldn't either!  Trust me!  Bandwidth is your friend!  GEEKS!  Where I live?  They have ONE cable modem for at LEAST 40 people.  I am VERY scared!  If I wasn't so DESPERATE, I would cry!  
It really is HARD to be a switch.  I am primarily submissive, but sometimes?  My Dominance peeks its head out.  I don't MEAN it too!  But it wasn't paying attention!
I have a SERIOUS thing for geeks!  No!  Not dorks.  Geeks!  Usually of the computer variety.
I keep hoping  that people have messaged me.  They haven't!  *cry* WHAT DID I DO SO WRONG?????????  ;)  
I worry that people don't take THIS seriously.  Truth be told, there are SOME who take it too seriously.  WHAT is the RIGHT degree of seriousness?  Anyone?
People need to know that us disabled people are into kink too.
One thing that HASN'T changed, is I'm a VERY impulsive person.
Has anyone ELSE gone through a dramatic tranaformation like I have?  I remember back in high school before I discovered kink.  My trip to "the dark side" took a LONG time for me to get there.  Like DECADES!  I don't feel old, but the calender is telling me I'm 43.  How did THAT happen?
Kink, if you're serious about it, can be a very powerful, and beautiful thing to see.  The problem, in my opinion, is that people don't take it seriously.  The people who call themselves Master, have to be WORTHY of that.
I have a very short fuse today.     I normally can deal with "idiots".  Today?  ...........no!  The can go straight to hell!  Don't stop until you find the firey pit!
It's very hard to explain what you're in to.  I mean....how do you explain THIS?  I've come to learn that there are various degrees.  There are some things a person likes.  Some?  Not at all!  Some you are curious about.  Some you will try.  Some you won't and have no desire too.  The list goes on. 

I have a very short fuse today.  Things that usually don't bother me?  Are.  I usually am ok with dealing with stupid people.  Since I am the one with the fucking brain injury, I WANT PEOPLE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS AND STOP BEING STUPID!  It seems like these are foreign concepts.
I've found I am more of a dominant than I am a submissive.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I am NOT the most glamorous woman.  Nor the smartest.  Nor the wittiest.  I am a very plain, if I may say so myself, smart disabled girl who likes to hide her disability.  I just happen to like kink.
Does anyone OTHER THAN ME, take this seriously?
I am pissed off and hurt.  I know I have a lack of memory.  I am UPSET because at least I acknowledge it.  You don't like it. I don't like it.  Best to accept, don't you think?
It is irritating when it takes awhile for people to get back to me.  For example if someone, ANYONE turn me on to the point I'm begging?  I pray to God he's worth that humiliation.  Yes.  Humiliation.  When I want to cum, I want to cum RIGHT. THEN.  Not prolong the torture..   Yes.  Torture.  
Not that anyone has done it, but there's always a first time for everything, right?  But yes.  I'm disabled.  Yes.  I like kinky sex.  Yes.  I can have more than one partner.  It's called polyamory.  I haven't really looked in depth into it.  It's on my "to-do" list.
Cam play?  ....the fuck?  You either want to play, or not.  Very Yoda-ish.  "Either do.  Or do-not.  There is no try."
Does anyone take this lifestyle seriously?  Or is it just me.
Despite being in the "know" if you can call it that, there are certain aspects of this culture that you, yourself, have NO idea about.  And I don't know where you would learn! I think you don't know if you do, or do NOT, like something until you TRY it!
I am talking to a foreigner.  Not REALLY a big deal?  But I live somewhere I can get top-rate medical attention. 
My slave has decided to come back to me.  I am torn.  Do I take him back?  Or not.
What the fuck is WITH this online only bullshit??
What's the fucking POINT?
You know, people?   I think we ALL spend most of our time in the "normal" world!  Even freaks like us do!  I would bet serious money that you have a "normal" job.  Do "normal" things.  Eat "normal" food.  
I have been a sub forever!  It's HARD to switch my thinking.
Well that HURTS!  And not in a good way..
Want to hear something fucked up? I, myself, am polyamorous. But I am having a hard time dealing with others being that way too! I have found myself being "the other woman." And I'm not sure how I feel about it.
I don't have anything of HUGE interest to post, although I have found I am becoming interested in pain, more and more...
You really DO need to have two mindsets for domes and subs.  I find myself in the dome role more and more.  I forget the sub part of myself.  This is both good and bad.
I'm feeling a little insecure. I'm nothing special, really. But there are times........like now.......that I want to feel sexy.
It is SCAREY having memory problems!
You know?  We are ALL freaks!  Some more than others, yes.  BUT ALL FREAKS!  We MAY be freaks, but we all need to be able to spell!  Or at LEAST make it look like you are trying!

Ok!   End of rant.
That irritates me to NO END!  Someone makes a comment about my response to something.  He then blocks me from commenting which is his right.   Just like it's my right to hoping he never gets off   AND is limped-dicked for LIFE!!!  Asshole!
I have had people mention anger issues I might have.  I am talking that seriously, although I probably shouldn't.  I'm not any more angry than the next person, really.  
There are some people on here who are truly scary.
I am way too much of a computer nerd.
Is being 42 too old for having a past time like this?  I don't FEEL old, but i don't feel YOUNG, either.
Is it TOO much to ask to have a master who is capable of THINKING?
I'm bored.  Entertain me.
I know I'm an impatient person.  This denial of an orgasm when I REALLY need it?  Nothing short of torture!
Last time I checked I don't have SLUT tattooed on my head!  NOR does it say easy! 
Is it too much to ask that men not be BONE HEADS when it comes to disabled women?
It pisses me off when people don't answer simple, straight forward questions.   WHY should I submit myself to you if you don't?  Is this this a game to you?  There is a reason I'm a switch.  I have NO problem with someone being in charge.  But I don't like being ignored.  Pisses me RIGHT the fuck off!
There is a reason I'm a switch.  I have a dominant personal.  Not just ANYONE can be my Master.  And I'm not going to call you 'Sir' anything.  Won't do it.
Notice!

Daddy Masters?  Need not apply.   None have?  THANK GOD!  But really?  Don't.
You know?  I am appreciative of people telling me they want to give me what I want.  What I WANT is a picture.  Not so I can size you up or anything?  But so I can put a face with a name.  I am just like anyone.  I like to put a FACE with a "name".    Like anyone on the planet.
I admit it! I can't remember shit!   I cover it pretty well, but it IS there.
BDSM is at its core, a power exchange.  Saying you are a master doesn't guarantee I will follow you.  Just as i don't EXPECT people to follow me just because I'm a Mistress.  There's more to it than that.  More people need to realize that!
Does anyone email?  Or is that just not done?
I am trying to balance my vanilla life, with my alt lifestyle.  It is proving very, very hard.
I'm a switch.  As such, I have a pet.  No, we're not in a relationship.  We might become.we might not...so.  As such I am still looking around.
If kink is your whole world?  That's just scarey.  And obviously you're not a well adjusted person.
If you are a daddy dom?  Keep on moving.  I find nothing seductive AT ALL by daddy doms.
I don't do online domination.  Truthfully, I don't see how that is even possible.
Just seeing some of the pictures, terrify me.

That and you MST3K it.  If you have to ask me what is?  You are obviously not a geek!
Anyone take this site seriously?  Ideally, we are all looking for a relationship.  I have tits.  That makes me a woman.  I am looking for a man with a cock, and knows how to use it.  I know what I am, and what I'm not.  I'm not stupid.  I'm not brilliant.  I know my please and thank yous.  I know to ask for help when I need it, and to not take that help for granted.   That is common courtesy, people.  They don't HAVE to help you.
I've had SEVERAL people to ask me to skipe.  I don't.
I have to pay attention to peoples ages, now!  I've always been the young one.  Now?  I'm the old one!  It's hell to get old!
I know what chastisy is, but WHAT IS A CHASTISY SLAVE?
We are all freaks.   Question is...are you (wo)man enough to admit it?
Anyone else have a problem with online domination?  It seems largely stupid.  I'm assuming there is something to it, but i don't know what..
I know this isn't true.   But I feel old.
I am PRETTY sure I said it before.  But in any event, I am going to state my view again.  I HATE daddy doms.  To me?  There is NOTHING erotic about it.  Nothing.
You know?  I'm a vary impatient person.  I would at LEAST like a freak to talk to.  Or are you scared

Trust me.  I don't bite.  At least not hard.
Hello?  I'm here.  Are you?
There's a REASON why I'm a switch.  I have a very dominant personality.  If a man doesn't measure up, or show me that he DESERVES to be my Master, then, well.......NO!  You don't.
I know there are some down right SCAREY people out there.  Some true freaks!  I, however, am NOT one of those people.  It's kind of interesting if you think about it, that there are clasifications of us freaks.  Although really, most people have no idea what i am talking about.
I am sick of people looking for just 't and a'.  Yes, this is a sex site.  It kind of goes with the territory.  But there is more involved than just that.   Like who is in control of who, and why.  The WHY is the most important part.  It comes down to who you are willing to give control too.

What I want to know, is who "gets it".  I really do.  I am at heart, a submissive.  But I have learned my dominant side.  What I really want, is a man who can capture my heart, without me wanting to kick his ass. 
Not related to anything.......but if I ever have a stroke?  Shoot me.
Have you ever noticed there are people shown, that you have never seen in your LIFE?  Creepy.
Anyone else who has had a brain injury and is into kink like i am?  or is it just me?  if so, it's a lonely life.
Daddy Doms are just...............wrong.  There is nothing seductive about it.
If you expect me to call you Sir ANYTHING, you had better have the title.


Just sayin'.
How are you freaks???????  That's what we are, you know.  Freaks.  Of course, I have been associating myself with that label for a LONG time, now.  Like before I associated myself with the BDSM community, even!
And now for something completely different


i want my knee replaced.
Daddy doms are just...........wrong!  And to me there is nothing seductive about it. 
I'm NOT a slut.  Beings in a site like this, you'd think I am.  But I'm not.  I can count on 2 hands the number of lovers I've had, with fingers left over.  I have, arbitrarily, decided that under 10 lovers means I'm not a slut.  Close.  But not there yet.
I hate cheating husbands.  Just sayin'.
I have no problem with you being married.  Though
I do wonder why you're here.  I mean.... most women don't have a problem with you being married.  I do, but they might not.  If you're here and married, by GOD your wife better know!
Do people just NOT think that us disabled people are into kink?  I got news for you!  We are!  We are just like you!  Perverted.  Kinky.  Wanting something different.  NEEDING something different!
Why do I deal with idiots?
Most normal people don't understand that the BDSM lifestyle goes beyond just kinky sex.  There's that in  it too, but there is more to it than just that.  I "shop" around for a Master.  Not just anyone will do.  And, indeed, women should be more selective.
Look, people!  If you are into age play.  Keep on moving!  I am not old, though most of the women my age are looking for younger men.  What I want?  A man who understands brain injeries.  I've had not just one, BUT TWO!  Do I think they make me special?  No.  I don't.  I'm special because I have close to death twice.  I can still think.  I can still talk.  I can still carry on a conversation.
Do people take this lifestyle seriously?  Or is it just me?  I am assuming there are several thousand people here.  Perhaps I'm wrong.  Personally, I think there are lots of us freaks.
People have mistaken me for a slave.  Maybe I am. I identify as a Switch..  Don't know.  I just know I'm disabled.  Can't piss you off more than it does me.  I'm a very honest person.  My honesty get's me in trouble.   It also hurts people.  I don't intend it, but really?  If it hurts?  Maybe you shouldn't do it.  
Does anyone read this?  Sometimes I wonder..
Yes!  I have memory problems.  No!  I don't like it!  Playing tricks on me or lying to me.  Isn't funny?  And just proves you are an asshole.
I am DAMN TIRED OF being yelled at for being honest.  IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE HONEST ANSWER?  THEN DON'T ASK!
People say vanilla like it's a bad thing!  Hell!  Even us freaks do it!
I have a very morbid sense of humor.  I'm not sure if that is good or bad.
I admit!   I can be a bitch.  I try not to be, though?
I absolutely HATE daddy doms.
You know?  This just a random rant, but really?  The color of your skin should have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with anything.  So to me?  If you identify yourself as black?  That's all well and good?  But to announce you are?  Me think people will figure that out themselves.....
Ok, then!  I must have hit a nerve if I was blocked, right?
Does anyone take this life style seriously? Or is it just me?

See?  I may be disabled.  And I may be in a wheelchair.  But  I'm not stupid.  Treat me that way?  You will be handed your ass on a platter.
People who talk to themselves scare me!
Is it just me, or am I the ONLY woman who doesn't like to referred to as a slut?
We are ALL looking for our special someone.  They are surprisingly hard to find.
Why is vanilla to us a dirty word?
It is hard to live a "normal" life.  People just don't understand this stuff.
Time difference, sucks.  It makes you have to wait.  I HATE waiting.
And now for something completely different.....
I am not god's blessing to man.  Don't want to be, either.  I am just ME.  Neither good nor bad, just ME.  Sometimes I do well.  Sometimes not.
We are all looking for the same thing.  To find someone with the same interests as you.  But when you find it, what then?
It is plain rude to deny people access to contact you!
Having memory problems is both scarey, and unfun.  Trust me!
Blocking someone from contacting you is just rude!
I'm not a perfect person.  Nor do I want to be.  I am "me".  The warped, fucked up, demented freak.  In otherwords, a "normal" person.
There are only a certain amount of hoops I will "skip" through.  After that?  No.........
What is the appeal to online play?
I will only jump through so many hoops.  After that?  I lose my temper..
Do people realize it is so painful to have a major crush on someone to only find out they're gay?
I am shy.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to be shy and into this?  Nevermind being disabled, and shy!  AND!  Old, too!  If you consider 40 to be old, that is......Disabled as well!  YES!  I'm damned!But!  and I pride myself for it, actually, I give A DAMN GOOD blow job, actually!  If they gave awards for sucking cock, I would win.  True story!
What is a Vanilla girl to do?  Yes!  I'm vanilla.  I KNOW i'm vanilla.  Yes!  That could be changed?  But really?  I don't WANT too!  I wear my vanilla status with pride!



Believe or not, everyone WAS vanilla at some point in time.
I might have said it before.  I am PRETTY sure I did, but anyway.........I am NOT going to call you SIR anything until you are knighted.  Won't do it.
Vanilla, disabled girl.  I'm scared to death, really.  You can't tell, but it's true.  Do you have ANY idea how scarey it is to have this as a past-time?  Really?  Do you?
I HATE looking stupid.
Beings as vanilla as I am, I don't know what appeals to me.  I'd answer if I could!  But I can't!
What is the problem being vanilla?  I am.  Can't help it.
You know?  I try.  I really fucking try.  Sometimes, I succeed.  Sometimes, I fail, but I ALWAYS try.  You either accept that, or don't.
Am I the only woman who doesn't think she is ALL that?  Sometimes I wonder.  See?  I know I'm a remarkable human being, but I'm not ALL THAT.  If a woman think she is, she needs to get over herself, or is smoking some PREMIUM quality dope.  In which case, she needs to share.
You know?  Yes, this a site about sex.  But that is not the only thing we think about or talk about.  If it is?  You are a freak.  Being a freak isn't necessarily a bad thing.  Some of my dearest friends are freaks.  But, anyway..........no!  We are not all about sex.  Yes, we like sex.  But that is not the only thing in your life. 
I never thought I would have a slave.   Now I find I do.  Help!
I am just WAITING for people to give me shit.  They haven't YET!  But I am still skeptical.
Look.  If you email me, at least fucking answer.  It's called common courtesy.  Use it!
No one wants to play with a disabled, vanilla girl!
We are ALL FREAKS!  Yes, some more freaky than others.  I, myself, am more of a bread and butter, freak.  I even like my sex, missionary.  What can I say?  I like to be on my back!
I should be used to people being wrong about me.  It happens SO often, it makes me why I even bother.  Because, I like to think that there are still good people out there.  Freaks.  Like me.
Personally, I can't STAND daddy doms.
Trust me!  If I could give up being disabled, I would.  Thing is, I'm not given that option.  Sucks A lot.
I am seriously pissed off.  This is, more or less, pissing in the wind.  He has me blocked, which is his right, but it makes me fucking mad.  Mostly cause I haven't done anything but be honest.
I am a "normal" disabled, woman, who happens to live in assisted living.  It's kind of like a nursing home, without medical staff.  It is hard being the young one around these grandmas.  It's not like I have anyone to talk to. These old women wouldn't understand about things like this.
Does anyone take this seriously?  Or am I pissing in the wind?
Slaves scare me.
I have yet to meet a man worthy of following.  There are some who say they are Masters.  But they're not.  Not really.  What I want is a man worth following.  Hard to find, actually.  Even harder because I am disabled.
I take this lifestyle, seriously. Maybe TOO seriously. Most, don't.  You can kind of tell.  Mostly.
I will not call ANYONE Sir Anything.  Not unless you are knighted.  Chances of that are slim and none.
I am way mad over nothing.  I am ranting randomly.  No one has said anything, so I am, esentally talking out my ass.  I am a dutiful submissive.  But, I am a switch.  If you're not strong enough, mentally I mean, I am NOT going to follow.  I just won't.  It is hard i.e. impossible to find a man worth following.  Not when I'm handicapped like I am.  Trust me.  It can't piss you off more than it does me.
Do you HAVE any idea how hard it is to find a person to play with when you are disabled?  Especially when you are a VERY vanilla.
Am I though only disabled girl into kink?  If so, it's a loanly world.
The number of people requesting cam-play, makes me feel like I am missing something.  Tell me......what is the appeal?
We are all, freaks!  Have you every given that thought?  But, we are.  
I quit. I am tired of looking like an idiot. Yes. I have memory problems. Yes, I do require help. No. It doesn't make me happy. In fact, it pisses me right the fuck off.
You know?  Really this lifestyle requires a lot of trust.  Trust can't be blindly given, it is earned.
Is it TOO much to ask to find a man worth following?  Sometimes I wonder.  They are men who say they are Masters.  They are not.  Not really.  I am looking for a man who is REALLY a Master.  Of course, maybe that isn't REALLY what I want.  Don't know until I see one, though.
Is it too much to ask for people to take this seriously?  Sometimes I wonder.  The other aspect is maybe I take it TOO seriously.
I'm not superwoman!  I can only do what I can do!  You either take it?  Or go the fuck away!
I get sooooooooooooooooooo sick of people acting like fucking idiots.  I mean, come on!  WE ARE ADULTS!  ACT LIKE IT!
We are all freaks!   But, on the otherhand, being a freak is completely normal.  EVERYONE is a freak, or has something freaky about them.  Comforting, somrwhat.......
I quit.  Thought I would share.
Why are paranoid people even HERE?  Drives me crazy because really?  YOU ARE NOT REALLY HIDING ANYTHING!
Some techie I am!!! Skipe and kik, SCARE me!  And I don't know WHY either!
I wish I had something witty to say, but I don't.
You know?  I try.  I really fucking try.  I sometimes succeed.  Most likely fail.  But I DO try!  People either accept that, and me, or don't.
I am disabled so no one wants me!  But then again, would I want THEM?
Having memory problems, sucks.  For one thing, it makes you look like an idiot.  I know that is my lot in life.  I can't remember shit no matter how hard I try.  Gets old, though.....
Flakey internet is of the devil.
Who wants an "old" disabled woman?
I have always thought that love can conquer anything.  I have found that I am wrong.
I am SO! not into pain!
People think disabled people into kink, as freaks.  Or maybe it is just me.  I'm disabled and into kink.  Shoot me!  Trust me, it makes me into an oddball.  Most people, aren't!
Why are naked pictures so fucking important?
I have a question.  A very, serious question.  WHAT is a slave?  I have people who think I'm a slave, but I have always considered myself a submissive.  What is the difference?  There HAS to be one, but what IS it?
You know?  It's hard to follow your kinkiness when you are disabled.  Trust me!
I feel like I am being bad.  Only I'm not
Really?  Slaves scare me!
I understand the dom/sub relationship.  I'm wondering if anyone else does.  There are some people who call themselves Doms.  But they aren't.  Not really.
A sad day.  Here I am REALLY trying, and I'm not sure if anyone else is.
I give up.  It seems like no matter what I do, it comes out wrong.  It's getting to the point where I'm getting to the point where I'm going to give up trying.
My hatred of cold feet has absolutely no sexual things at all.
Can I have warm feet?  Please?
Yes!  I'm disabled!  Thank you SO much for asking!  Does it take the kink away?  NOPE!
It would be FABULOUS if people talked in the first person!
It bothers me that people don't take this seriously.  I mean, what's the fucking point?
Maybe it's ME that is the fool.   I've been foolish before.  What's one more time?
I should be used to being hurt.  It happens so often.  It makes me wonder why I even try.  I'm not the prettiest woman.  Or the smartest.  This BDSM thing is just a game, really.  With high stakes.  You put your heart on the line. 
I also want people to be honest with themselves and with others.  Is that too much to ask?  Apparently so..
Is it too much to ask for people to be honest?  I didn't think so, but now I wonder.
I am tired of being hurt.
You know?  I'm a pretty easy going person.  But I think I have reached my limit.
i'm disabled and into kink.  it bothers that people think because i'm disabled, i'm into kink.

ummm.......no.  two different things.  i'm more or less a vanilla girl.  have a few kinks beyond the norm.  but by and large, I don't like anything kinky.
is it too much to ask for people to take this seriously?
Is it too much to ask for people  to take this seriously?
You know?  I am sick of having people expecting freaky things in regards to me.  I'm a normal girl.  Vanilla.  Nothing freaky about me.  Disabled, but that didn't take away the kink.
Figured I should wave a flag or something.  I AM, of course, a target.
Is it too much to ask people to take this seriously?  Of course, there are kooks who take it too seriously.......but in the end people are normal people who have extra interests that are beyond the norm.  See?  I'm a submissive but my Master has to earn the title.  It isn't just anyone.
I knew that money is the root of all evil.  But I didn't know how much so.
Yes.  I'm into kink.  Yes.  I'm disabled.  Yes, I require a conversation that is intellegible.  Do I expect you to be an Einstein?  No.  But I do want to talk in first person.
I am more than a quick fuck.  If that is what you want, call a hooker and call it a day.
Is it too much to be wanted for more than my money?  Which I don't ACTUALLY have?
does anyone LOOK at this?
I am doomeed.  Really.  I am disabled and into kink.  I am interested in completely normal thing.  But try to explain that to people.  Yes.   I'm disabled.  Yes, I am into kink.
is it too much to ask for a man with intelligence to like kink?  to overlook my disability?  I do, and I HOPE i'm not the only one, but maybe I am.  I CAN'T be the only disabled woman into kink, can I?
Slaves scare me.  Really. Of course, my definition of a slave might not be correct.   I, myself, am a submissive.   A switch, though I maybe I am a slave.  I consider myself a submissive.
Do people take this seriously?  Or maybe I am taking this too SERIOUSLY.  When people say they are looking for a rich slave, my first thought is "aren't we all?:"  But then I got to thinking...........ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  Why?  And who would sign up for that?
I am all birthdayed out.
This  being disabled thing makes finding a partner that much harder.  They don't see the normal girl, that I am, just have a few kinks.
I am not the prettiest woman, nor do I ever want to be.  What I am am, is honest, and real.  I really am what you see, is what you get.
I don't know what I am doing.  Story of my life, actually.........
You know?  I'm not the smartest person in the world, but I'm not the stupidest either.  What I am is disabled.  Otherwise I'm a completely normal person.  I understand there are some people who are more into things than I am.  I am, more or less, vanilla.  Always have been.  I would appreciate people not breaking my brain.  I rather like the person I am.

Is anyone looking at this?

I think I am the only one who takes this seriously.   sa.

am i the only persn to take this seriously?

So.  This is my first post on the second time I have ever been here, and I must say... I rather like it.