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*pull up a chair, this could take awhile*
*unavailable- happily taken*
This is my wish for all who desire to be in the position to meet strangers/could be friends..... trust yer gut feeling! Have phone contacts and do a background check/references. Do NOT take anyones word at face value. This could be the journey of your life, make sure it's a good one!
More often than not, i notice my profile goes unread by those who contact me. It is easily determined within one or two correspondences. And it is excruciatingly frustrating. While i am a lover of life, i think i need to make a few things abundantly clear before attempting to describe who i am, and what it is i seek.
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1. Please note, i am NOT seeking quickies, one night stands or drive thru fun.
2. Anti- smokers would not like me. i am a respectful smoker but, a smoker none-the-less.
3. My life is currently about education. Both giving and receiving. I am grateful that at this point in my life, I have the capabilities to do that.
4. If you are not local to me, be prepared for some very lengthy conversations. I do not plan to travel for just anyone who asks.
5. Not all of my limits were able to be listed. To that, I add, Hard biting, Pinching, and most important... my diet coke!!
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Having said all that, if you are still reading, congratulations! Grab a cup of coffee and sit back... i am not done yet. *smile*
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i am an experienced Lifestyle submissive maso, (15 years), i take my Lifestyle choices seriously as it is simply who i am, not what i am. i am an Aquarius, a lover of life and i try to make every moment count, with a smile. i adore laughing, have a HUGE sense of humor and prefer to share my time with people who feel the same. (if you can't make me laugh, we're probably not a good match).
i have been trained very High Protocol but, prefer a relationship full of structure and laughter over straight laced, non-communicative activities. A Dominant that can make me kneel with a look... or giggle with a wink, does indeed score points in my book.
i am very conservative in my day to day life, and always a lady while in public. i can don an evening gown at a company function or hoot and holler at a Baseball game. But always behind closed doors, i am who i was meant to be, for my Master.
i do have a preference for Older Experienced Dominants as i am 45. i am not a Barbie, nor am i a BBW. i am not a novice nor would i say i am experienced, i believe there are new experiences and challenges to be met daily, within the right hands.
Many men claim they are Dominant within the bedroom.... i seek the Dominant mind. i crave the guidance & security of a confidant knowledgeable man. i miss the simple things, a look of pleasure, a smile of appreciation, no matter the task. i miss the intimacy & anticipation of surrendering all to the One who made me trust completely. i am a fun masochist, but not a pain slut (i don't think) *smile*
If i left anything out, feel free to let me know, for now i hope that helps give you a small glimpse of who i am.
always~
njss
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Broken foot! Wishing I had a subbie to care for me! lol |
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Traverse City Munch
The TC Munches are back again in full swing. The munches will now be
held bi weekly at a private residence. The play party is at least once a
month, also in a private home setting. No worries about the
unmentionables being present when we meet in public any more! The next
munch will be August 14th from 2pm to 5pm. Our motto is simple...
"We are a group of kinksters that are a semi private group that has been
formed to provide a safe environment to learn and play. Anyone may join,
but only members who are approved by the existing members in good
standing with be given addresses to events.To get approval you will need
to contact one of the leaders and they will bring your profile to the
memberships attention. You also must have a recent photo. You will be
required to sign a hold harmless statement with real name and ID.
If you do not RSVP you will not be allowed to enter, period."
You can join the munch group on .com. The name of the group is
Traverse Bay Area Alternative Lifestyle or just type
in my screen name and you can find it. I hope ya'll can join us for the
rest of the summer. This is a growing and very positive group and I can
say I am quite proud to be a part of it!
always in kink,
s
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What a refreshing journey that was for me! After all of the heartbreak and tragedies that seemed to overrun my life for a brief period, i do believe my head is back into the place it needed to be. What a grateful subbie i am!! |
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i am on my way to the newest journey in my life. NOT available while i focus my attentions on One family. *smile* |
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Unfortunately, i am limited to online access to this site right now, my email still works for those of you that have it 
s |
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Today, i told myself i was beautiful. It worked.... i realized, i didn't need a stranger to assure me.... i am who i am. *smile* |
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Amazingly enough... I finally allowed myself to put my guard down and began conversing with a some-what local Dominant.
Unfortunately, even tho we seemed to have many things in common, once I mentioned that I do not have sex on a first meet... He ended contact. (*sigh*)
Soooo.... once again the guard is up.... and for those of you who enjoy one night stands...have fun but, you will not enjoy me *smile* |
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Well.... my Marine son proved to be full of surprises! Not only did he surprise me for a family Thanksgiving dinner but, he also was my Christmas present and stayed until after New Years Eve!! Ahhhh... what a blissful New Year it shall be *smile* |
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My boy has been home from Iraq for a whole week!! What a special Holiday... Gov't is being selfish and keeping him for a Turkey day tribute but... i have him at this moment... yayyyy! All of my kids together.... what a happy girl i be! |
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i am overwhelmed at this point, and it's only been 3 days!
please be sincere and patient... i now remember why i chose to walk away a year ago....
i am sure, that's not too much to ask...!?!?
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a very wise person told me today that it's important to remember my own needs during tough transitions... i think that's a wonderful idea!
please be local if you want to meet. i do not plan on relocating anytime soon so, if you're not local.... i hope you have patience *smile*
i look forward to making new friends... maybe it's you? |
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i have lived this life long enuff to understand the long winded, and even understand the short winded... i still dont understand the "under/over"winded....but, i need no promises right now....i need REAL people. |
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As of today, my son has been in Iraq for 3 months. I want to be selfish and beg for his return. But, He is doing what he has always done... He is protecting his family... and yours. A mother couldn't be more proud. *smile* |
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Summer is here!!!! The TC Munches are now being held as potlucks! All are welcome, feel free to contact for details.
njss |
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It has been a year since the housefire. A year that has certainly been a long & painful one but, at the same time, it has been a swift one.
13 months ago... i was in a coma. i finally awoke after 3 weeks. my memories were, to say the least... a fabrication of my imagination. (luv that morphine!) i only remembered my dreams at that time. (one of which included Brad Pitt in Mexico--- ahem!)
here i sit today, ALIVE!although i still carry the outward scars, because of one mans love, i feel beautiful always. *smile* |
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Boy, last nights Munch was a blast! The Traverse City Munch is now a regular monthly event, contact me for details. |
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September Munch is the 15th in TC... contact me for details. |
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another great success with the Northern Michigan Munch... plans are in the process for Septembers Munch. Contact me if interested. |
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NEW MUNCH!!!
Saturday, August 25th in Traverse City.... contact me for details!!
~njss~ |
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This Lifestyle varies in as many ways as there are different snowflakes falling from the sky. As do the people, their beliefs and their relationships.
One thing that seems to be common amongst most Lifestylers is, the desire. The desire to explore, the desire to expand and the desire to seek relationships that fit the needs of ones self at THAT time.
i think i have been through the "Rose colored glasses" syndrome. i know i have experienced a few unhealthy relationships due to trusting too easily. It is a fact that i have loved with all of my body & soul and due to circumstances, was left with shattered pieces of myself to pick up and start over again.
i know i probably missed out on wonderful relationships out of doubts and fears and more than anything, i know i have limited my own happiness by being unwilling to take yet one more chance.
But, all in all, i am here. i am submissive and i have needs. Having those needs met means i am indeed content. While it may not be all "fireworks" & passion, it works TODAY. And, i am ok with that.
What the future holds, noone knows but when the focus is on Today... then i can say that this sub is doing ok. What more can one ask for? |
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Munch was a success!! Like minded folks, in the same area, getting together... doesn't get any better than that!
Next Munch is in August in Traverse City!! |
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July 14th a MUNCH in Gaylord!! yay... contact me for details. |
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sometimes it is too easy to focus on the good, the perfect, the should be's... looking beyond that expected perfection, leaves you looking into a mirror....
in my mirror, i see a woman who has overcome a huge challenge, by surviving life and defeating death...
in my mirror, i see a woman desiring a partner, a guide and a leader.. a Master, overlooking the outward scars... cherishing and protecting my inward scars...
in my mirror, i see rainbows and storm clouds but, i also see shelter. a shelter that allows the joy and sorrow to fall as needed.
in my mirror, i see tears, embraced with love... and i could never be happier.
in my mirror, i have become the fullfillment he needs... in my mirror... that is an unspeakable space.
in my mirror, i see me... and my future. *smile*
~njss~
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My son, who recently graduated Marine Boot Camp is here with me. While he hasn't seen me since my accident, he stood before me as a Marine, a man,and as a human being.... but most importantly.....as my child.
~That was the best hug he ever gave me~
*smile*
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A MEMO FROM A: submissive TO: Dominants
1~Dont spoil me. I know Quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for. I `m only testing you.
2~Don`t be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it, it makes me feel secure.
3~Dont let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in a early stage.
4~Don`t make me feel smaller then I am. It only makes me behave stupidly "big".
5~Don`t correct me in front of people, if you can help it. I`ll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.
6~Don`t make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values.
7~Don`t protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.
8~Don`t be too upset when i say "I hate you". Sometimes it isn't you I hate but your power thwart to me.
9~Don`t take too much notice of my ailments. Sometimes they get me attention I don't need.
10~Don`t nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by being deaf.
11~Don`t forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like. That`s why I am not always accurate.
12~Don`t put me off when I ask questions. If you do you`ll find that I stop asking you and seek my information elsewhere.
13~Don`t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.
14~Don`t tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.
15~Don`t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover that you are neither.
16~Don`t ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me surprisingly warm towards you.
17~Don`forget I love experimenting. I couldn`t get along without it, so please put up with it.
18~Don`t forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be difficult for you to keep pace with me, but please try to.
19~Don`t forget that I don`t thrive without lots of love and understanding, but I don`t need to tell you that do I?
20~ Please keep yourself fit and healthy.I need you.
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A huge part of life i have learned is Acceptance. i am not saying i like it, but it happens. i have accepted the accident that changed my life forever. i have even accepted those who just were not able to deal with it. i am learning to accept those strong enough and willing to still see my inside, overlooking my scars.
As my daughter says often, "Everything happens for a reason"... i certainly know that to be true. The reasons do come forward, in time. i think i am grateful for many things but especially for the patience and support of those in my life who have deemed me worthy.
*smile* |
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Meeting people that really get your attention is always like the 4th of July. It is indeed exciting, and you are always left with wondering when/what the finale will be. Either way, there is nothing to be afraid of, now that my friends,... is a very good feeling.
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It was 3 months ago today of the housefire. Seeing how far i have come in my recovery is amazing to me, and those on the outside as well.
Thank you to everyone for the good thoughts, wishes and prayers... you showed me what strength truly is. *smile*
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After a housefire that caused some serious injuries. This sub is headed to Michigan while she completes her rehabilitation for recovery.
What relationships can survive the extreme? Time will tell.... good luck to everyone in finding what they seek. |
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Noone said giving was easy.
Noone said you had to play by the rules.
Noone said it would be painless.
Noone said you wouldn't meet fools.
Noone said there was a rainbow.
Noone said that there wasn't.
Noone said life would get easier.
Noone said, that it it doesn't.
written by smidge |
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i have been in this Lifestyle for over 8 years. i have been very active within the public aspect of it as well. i have even been a moderator of Groups that bring people within the Lifestyle together and admittedly, love playing the "hostess"...
however.... soooo many times i hear about the "gift" of submission. i have certainly never thought of it that way. it is my persona, simply who i am. i always thought the "gift" was something that a Dominant man gave me when he accepted all of me, submissiveness included. |
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i am astonished that i even need to make this statement but obviously i do.
***i may be a submissive slut, but i am an unowned submissive slut. i am still a lady. if i can be treated so callous & crude in a simple online conversation, how could i possibly trust this person with my best interests? i certainly cannot*** |
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despite my very good intentions to describe myself in my profile and my journal... i am still facing the questions in what i seek/desire AND offer in a relationship.
i seek, ONE. -
with confidance, who is honest, has integrity, strength & class, who is most definately in control of himself and his life and content with looking in the mirror at the end of the day.
i desire, ONE -
who has mastered those traits in order to understand that a submissive/slave needs releases in many different forms. from the mundane, to the extreme... but, i desire the mental bond/connection...in order for that to be a success.
i offer, ONE -
all of me. no holds barred. from my teasing wit *smile* to my erotic mind. while i of course have limits.... my goal is to find ONE who would like to make my limits "OUR" limits, and to expand on them as needed. not just for today... but for all of our tomorrows as well. i offer, to ONE... my undying trust and devotion and a Lifetime of thank you's... for understanding and accepting me, for the simple imp i am.
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my 15 yr old daughter and i had to deal with real life recently. 3 of her very close friends were killed in an automobile accident instantly. how does one explain the meaning of life, when in a moments notice, that meaning is the most painful experience for anyone to go through? i am grateful for her intelligence and her faith, she is indeed a rock for others... it is with THAT strength, i keep moving on. 11 months uncollared, dozens of broken promises, and a couple incidences of "the-broken-heart-syndrome"... if i have learned nothing from this experience.... i have learned that tomorrow is a brand new day. this "wall" will certainly come down... eventually. |
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i certainly have to say that this site, compared to many others... is one of the better ones. i think it's impossible to say "the best site", when it's free.... but i really have no complaints, considering i am experienced in the ignore feature(s) *smile*
while of course, ones hopes is to always find "the One" i am no disappointed in saying i have met many friends here i may not have had the chance to meet otherwise... a friend is a friend, is a friend.... i am always ok with that.
i ended up working on a list of the men i have met these last 6 months and... i must say, i am due for comic book rights (do they pay for that???) ... ok, ok, ok.... that i will save for another journal entry but alas... i am still here, respectfully rejecting the under 40,trans gendered/poly/bi out-of-staters/country... as my profile originally stated... who's the bad guy? me? for not replying to everyone who ignored my profile or them.... for not bothering to take the time to read?
yep, one sub, without a Master too long. *shrug* |
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REFLECTION FOR TODAY
I came into this Lifestyle to learn more about myself and about the
emotions I had hidden and repressed. Fear kept me from thinking rationally
and from making decisions and acting in a way which was true to myself.
It prevented me from setting any priorities in my life. When I acted
out of fear, I hurt myself. Fear kept me from reaching out and letting others get close
to me.
It did not allow others to see the truly unique person I am.
MEDITATION FOR TODAY
Thank You for the freedom to grow.
TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Trust!
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"fall seven times. STAND UP EIGHT. i am not bound to win, but i am bound to be true. i am not bound to succeed, but i am bound to live by the light that i have."
only then, will i be truly be bound.... to ONE.
j |
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| Age: 20 |
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Indiana |
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